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Welcome to Stargatezing with your hosts Kathy and Mary. We watch Stargate and talk about things (Spoiler Alert: We mostly talk about Stargate).

Mary and Kathy


    • Sep 13, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 1m AVG DURATION
    • 143 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Stargatezing

    The Daniel Variety Hour [SG1 S7E6]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2023 72:01


    It's an episode all about Daniel, with special guests: the friends in Daniel's head.

    Everybody Loves Pig Milk [SG1 S7E5]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2023 73:12


    This episode brings up a lot of big questions about life, death, memory, AI, and, most importantly, where does SG-1 keep their hazmat gear?

    Death is Really Just Running Away [SG1 S7E4]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2023 63:41


    Life lessons from SG1: Weakness is unacceptable. You may as well be dead. Don't share needles. Unless you've already shared a half-dead hagfish. Then it's okay. Sometimes you just need to die and then figure out how to be resurrected in order to find your true place in life.

    John Jacob Jingleheimer O'Neill [SG1 S7E3]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2023 82:52


    Jack's clothes fit even worse than before when he's turned into a teenager again. Daniel gives false hope to a bunch of alien abductees. Kathy teaches us how to date a middle aged nerd.

    Why Not TWO Bad Arms? [SG1 S7E2]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2023 68:29


    Jack shoots a fan. Sam states the obvious. Daniel doesn't remember for NO GOOD REASON. Teal'c makes friends with Ba'aal. Jonas LEAVES. WAAAAHHH. 1.25 is better than 1, right? Stay here, Jonas Quinn!

    arms teal no good reason
    Much Star War [SG1 S7E1]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2023 73:50


    We talk about bears and gardening and Star Wars. Also, Daniel is back. Yay?

    Schrödinger's Daniel [SG1 S6E22]

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2023 56:13


    Daniel, what is the point of you? We're not sure we'll ever know, but at least we get a tour of a bunch of different old sci-fi movies with this episode.

    A Lung in His Brain?! [SG1 S6E21]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2023 62:32


    Jonas Quinn can predict what's for lunch! It's applesauce! No, wait, that's just Mr. Mot. They're actually having Mexican.

    Hyperdriving With a Lot of Asses [SG1 S6E20]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2023 80:05


    The SGC is shockingly bad at planning ahead in case things go wrong. For the record, assuming a standoffish alien will come save you is not a good contingency plan. At least most of the people on the planet they find are as oddly trusting as the SGC is.

    No Gross Pouch, Nice Tummy [SG1 S6E19]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2023 53:16


    Teal'c's in the hospital! He's a fireman! He has no tattoo! But then he does! He's a Jaffa! And he's in the SGC! And on a battlefield! Don't worry, T. Daniel will make it all better.

    They All Chose Poorly [SG1 S6E18]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2023 57:17


    The SGC's lax security and SG1's tendency to blindly trust everyone they meet gets them in trouble. This description could also be applied to just about every other episode.

    The Greatest Hits Of Goa'uld Aircraft [SG1 S6E17]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2023 66:01


    This is a boring and uneventful podcast description to match a boring and uneventful episode of Stargate SG1.

    The Opposite of a Good Good Girl [SG1 S6E16]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2023


    Why is everyone so wet? Can an eye on the back of your head and a three-fingered hand really be considered anatomical improvements? How great would it be to use your own eyes as flashlights? To reconstitute a liquified human, what percentage of the puddle needs to be put into a sarcophagus? Once again we're left with many questions and few answers.

    Murder Me Hard [SG1 S6E15]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2023 56:25


    All salad and no utopia make Maybourne something something...

    murder maybourne
    It's a Fake!!! [SG1 S6E14]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2023 61:18


    When Jack is accused of fake murder, SG 3/4 must clear his name. Teal'c wins at life with stylish outfits, surprise cold cocking, and and the best interrogation skills. Don't worry, the government is totally not tracking you through your medication.

    Dogs and Cats Living Together [SG1 S6E13]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2023 67:18


    We all know that you have to suspend disbelief with sci-fi shows, but we draw the line at being asked to believe that an entire city could be put under full lockdown with no protests or consequences.

    The Enterprise [SG1 S6E12]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2023 62:55


    The Asgard have a bad idea to stop the replicators. When it doesn't work, they have another bad idea for how to fix it. SG1 knows it's a bad idea but then decides to help anyway. This is also a bad idea. This is then followed by a further series of bad ideas. But at least there's ice cream!

    She's a Clacky B*tch [SG1 S6E11]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2023 81:10


    You will learn more about spam than you probably ever wanted to know and Kathy offers up free virtual hugs! There's also clacky keyboards, Sam doing some MacGyvering, and Teal'c doing some acrobatics. It's got a little something for everyone!

    b tch teal macgyvering
    D*cks on Walls [SG1 S6E10]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2023 78:11


    Pangolins try to sell SG-1 on the miracle of green coffee bean extract, but it turns out it's just Tok'ra goo from a Hagfish sack. Elsewhere, Jonas and Teal'c examine an ancient dick pic, Jack and Sam talk to a lot of people, and hagfish biology is whatever we want it to be. And don't forget, no one expects the wine clown.

    Cockrak [SG1 S6E9]

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2023 73:41


    Dogs make for some challenging podcasting. Kathy and Mary come up with some ways that gate technology can save the planet, while also tackling questions like "Can we ever really know we haven't killed someone in cold blood?" Finally, Martooth gets a replacement, although the new guy's teeth aren't nearly as glorious.

    Scientist Action Heroes [SG1 S6E8]

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2023 57:47


    When SG-1 is kidnapped by Lord Zoolander, it's up to two bickering nerds to save the day.

    Intars for Jonas! [SG1 S6E7]

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2023 70:06


    Everybody on whatever Jonas's planet is called dangles boatloads of naquadria in the SGC's face in exchange for a little (or a lot) of defensive (or offensive) weaponry. Meanwhile, Jonas continues to make himself at home in Daniel's office, drinking water by the bucket.

    I'd rather drink Pilsner than look at people's feet [SG1 S6E6]

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2023 59:56


    It was a really interesting and high stakes episode! Or a really boring slog of an episode. It depends on which host you ask. But the one thing Mary and Kathy agree on is that implanting human or animal teeth into one's own mouth is disgusting.

    Anyway [SG1 S6E5]

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2023 74:19


    Baby hagfish run amok while Jonas Quinn eats his way through small-town America. Don't worry, friends, the NID are all over it.

    Two Doctors, One Fraiser [SG1 S6E4]

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2023 63:37


    Mary's sick. SG1 is sick. The scientists in Antartica are sick. The rando they dug out of the ice is sick. Everyone's sick. Everything is the worst. But on the bright side, Dr. Fraiser's got a new transporter double!

    Inertianal Dampeningers [SG1 S6E3]

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2023 70:24


    Teal'c doles out the life advice that one should hold their breath for an excessively long time. Pwalter wears his glasses on his head. Teal'c also has concerns that Jonas wants to start an alien conspiracy. Davis delivers his lines from right on top of Jacob's shoulder. It's a weird episode.

    Buttspert [SG1 S6E2]

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2023 50:08


    Rodney ruins everything. Jonas Quinn can't lose. Jack is good at cake but bad at elevators. Anubis continues to be a rather feckless villain. And we finally learn how they got the gate into the mountain. But then the gate explodes. If only there was another one around somewhere.

    Wacquadah [SG1 S6E1]

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2023 62:01


    Kathy wins the lottery but then claims to lose it so she doesn't have to share. Sam wears a blue uniform jacket. Jonas is stuck cleaning out all Daniel's crap bc the team doesn't want to do it yet again. Mary finally learns what her uncle was REALLY doing with his career. We also learn that Kathy's true purpose in life is simply to make Mary's existence just a little bit worse. And some other Stargate stuff happens too.

    Gummy Bear Wine Out The Nose [SG1 S4E22]

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2023 61:07


    Just convenient plot devices all the way down.

    Radioactive Hagfish [SG1 S5E21]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2023 57:13


    Daniel still can't stop touching stuff. And for a bunch of macguffin reasons, it ends worse for him than usual this time.

    radioactive hagfish
    Guess What Happens to Grogan [SG1 S5E20]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2023 52:21


    Welcome to Latona! A wretched hive with one normal way in and one back way. Where we hide our most precious technology in an obvious pile of wood and Kathy's brother is actually a Jaffa!

    Action Hammond [SG1 S5E19]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2023 58:16


    Some people just never learn. LIKE THE ENTIRE SGC for example. Also we ask the important questions in life, such as, "Does Hammond wear tear-away pants?" And Kathy shares some good advice on life, like "Don't befriend people who clearly want to destroy you."

    10-Mile Walks For Breakfast [SG1 S5E18]

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2023 56:09


    Never trust the orderly from "While You Were Sleeping" if he sends you on a suicide mission.

    Space Butts [SG1 S5E17]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2023 58:34


    It's just "Armageddon" but with more Canadians.

    Slime, Poop, and Politics [SG1 S5E16]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2023 53:25


    Daniel continues to be bad at his job, the Tok'ra don't really understand geometry. Yet again, a person admits to loving Sam and then immediately dies.

    Yes. THAT poison. [SG1 S5E15]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2023 51:45


    Daniel's going on a covert op! What could go wrong? Remember Zipacna? Neither did we, but he's back. The Tokra are all wearing pants for once, but then they're caught with them down. Maybe that's why they don't like to wear pants.

    Super Poopers [SG1 S5E14]

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2023 64:29


    Teal'c gets stuck in the transporter...er, um, stargate. Jack and Maybourne have an adventure. Sam gets saddled with a useless misogynist. Q gets arrested! Somehow Daniel is a better mediator than the actual mediator.

    teal poopers maybourne
    Why is this a thing? [SG1 S5E13]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2022 47:48


    Somebody call Senator Kinsey! The SGC hatch budget is out of control!

    Stargatexing [SG1 S5E12]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2022 62:51


    The real deal O'Neill is stuck babysitting Marty again. Teal'c brushes up on his culinary skills. Sam continues to be bad ass, and in heels no less. Daniel...is also there.

    Never Trust Kelsey Grammer [SG1 S5E11]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 62:42


    Never take suppositories by IV and don't eat pizza from random doctors who are holding you captive. Also don't drink orange juice with your ham and cheese sandwich. That's gross. Only user 4574 does that. But do go ahead and put gummi bears in your beer. That's tasty.

    Horizontal Toilet Gates [SG1 S5E10]

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2022 67:05


    a.k.a. The Curse of Sam Carter a.k.a. Everything's More Fun With Tribbles a.k.a. The Toilet Goes Both Ways a.k.a. Universe's Most Effective Smug-Face Competition a.k.a. Gym Scotch a.k.a. Heroic Scraps of Paper

    Between Two Fries [SG1 S5E9]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2022 72:36


    Omoc's funeral is very small and sad. Probably because he was terrible. Turns out a lot of other Tollan are kinda terrible too (but for different reasons). Mary's apartment smells like rotten pumpkin. Schrodinger is fat and happy somewhere and definitely not dead. Special Guest Appearance: Kathy's Wind Chimes

    WHA! {SG1 S5E8]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2022 74:34


    Jack doesn't play well with others. Marduklarin was forced to play with others when he had to find a new host. Mary doesn't have time to play with others.

    The Grass is Cleaner [SG1 S5E7]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2022 43:38


    "The episode was boring. There was a lot of Unas speaking Unas language and Daniel haphazardly trying to translate and they were taken as slaves and then they got free the end." - Mary

    Wine and Gummi Bears [SG1 S5E6]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2022 71:48


    We're starting to worry about the SGC. Hammond makes an especially bad decision and Dr. Frasier is really a pretty terrible doctor. On top of that, Daniel just can't stop touching stuff. On the bright side, Cassandra gets turned into an X-Man!

    Size Matters...in Astrophysics [SG1 S5E5]

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2022 53:15


    Sam plays with her food again. Jack gets mad again. Hammond wastes a MALP again. Teal'c waits outside again. The science is really bad again.

    Don't they know what the red phone is for? [SG1 S5E4]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2022 67:21


    Today we talk all about anatomy and physiology exams, President John Tyler, industrial piercings, the red phone, phone operators, what acetylcholine does, and how Botox works. Also Q shows up again to menace SG 60%.

    Take It Sleazy [SG1 S5E3]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2022 65:45


    Don't be creepy, whether you're a human, a Q, or any other type of alien.

    No Clips, All Head [SG1 S5E2]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2022 53:54


    The moral of the story is "Never trust a smiley Jaffa."

    Cronus's Thronusus [SG1 S5E1]

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2022 64:29


    SG ¾ (plus Jacob) tries to deal with an evil version of Teal'c, Apophis, a bunch of blasphemous jaffa, a replicator invasion, and a Magic 8 Ball whose only answer is “The universe says ‘maybe.'” It's just layers and layers of enemies and frenemies.

    How do you know where to stand? [SG1 S4E22]

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2022 50:45


    Life lessons from SG1: As soon as you get a new mother ship, people are gonna bug you to help them move. Also, spilling your whole plan to a villain who handily takes down three guards and tells everyone what you're doing will only lead to having to destroy a star.

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