The Hookblade Podcast

Hey Google, why does my Ass Bleed Infinitely? Tim and Lawson are reuniting just this once for a special event episode to discuss the latest announcement, and the one resource that is decidedly finite: the number of fucks they have left to give about this dead, garbage franchise. No women were told to smile in the creation of this podcast. Like and subscribe!

Greetings, malakas. We've been on an epic Greek Odyssey for the last month and a half! The Choice is Yours — to listen, or ignore us, or flirt with us, or stab us in the necks. It may be the best Misthios' Creed game yet (for lack of competition) but how does it stack up against the Assassin's Creed franchise (of which it claims to be a part)? Give this episode a listen to hear our thoughts — and stay tuned to the end for an important update about the future of the show. We love you, Hookblade listeners :)

We've just got back from playing Assassin's Creed Origins, and there's still sand in our underwear. Let's examine the desert adventure that deserted franchise conventions, and the new vision for Assassin's Creed it, well, Originated... Follow us on Twitter @hookblade Follow Jcers on Twitter @JcersHabs018 Watch Assassin's Creed Origins: What Went Wrong? | Story Forward

Syndicate is an AC game that inspires love, hate, and total indifference, in seemingly equal measure. Lawson, Tim, and their guest Louise (aka TheNerdyArcher) are here to get to the bottom of the age-old question: is Syndicate good actually? (The answer may surprise you!) Let us know whether you're on board with AC's industrial revolution, or if you wish it had a terrible accident at the factory and never saw the light of day. Make sure to follow Louise on Twitter @TheNerdyArcher and subscribe to her very own AC podcast, The Rookery's Archives, over at her YouTube channel! And, of course, if you haven't yet, be sure to visit our YouTube channel, subscribe to it, like this episode, and leave us some hate mail in the comments.

Blackbeard! Da Vinci! Napoleon! Socrates! Assassin's Creed is known for its inclusion of famous historical figures, to varying degrees of success. In this episode, Lawson, Tim, and Arshak from AC Landmarks dive into what makes certain historical characters better and more memorable than others. Let us know your favorites and least favorites in the comments, or on twitter @hookblade! Also, be sure to check out Arshak @ac_landmarks.

Step right up and place your head gingerly beneath the blade of the guillotine, because we're taking a trip to French Revolution Paris to explore one of AC's jankiest, clunkiest, yet most ambitious titles. Along for the ride is the Hookblade's "Elegant Design" herself, WhiteWolfWhispers! We could probably talk about this game for three episode lengths, but we'll have to settle for just one. Give it a listen and tell us where Unity ranks on your list. Follow us on Twitter @hookblade Like us on Facebook at fb.me/HookbladePodcast Subscribe to our YouTube channel at youtube.com/TheHookbladePodcast Intro 0:00 River Raids 6:37 Unity's Story 10:08 Side Content 50:58 Unity's Gameplay 54:31 Outro 1:19:01

We're pulling the hype train into Speculation Station to see what the future of Assassin's Creed might look like! Is it good? (Probably not!) We're joined by game developer and subreddit mod Noah, aka nstav13, to analyze the recent flood of "leaks" and rumors. And if today's Ubisoft Q3 earnings call proves any of our speculation wrong, well, that sucks, but what can ya do? Tell us in the comments what you think is coming next. You can support us by subscribing to our YouTube channel, following us on Twitter @hookblade, and liking us on Facebook at fb.me/hookbladepodcast

Aaaaand we're back! Sorry for the wait. We're starting the year with an "odds and ends" episode, where we talk about some AC news bits that flew under our radar. AC in VR, the Yule festival, and a Shao Jun manga are just a few of the topics covered. Support the show by subscribing to our YouTube channel, following us on Twitter @hookblade, and liking us on Facebook at fb.me/hookbladepodcast Introdooski 0:00 Notes at the Top of the Show 5:31 Yule Festival 8:34 Dude, Where's My Runes? 12:02 Bugs 15:46 Assassin's Virtual Creed Reality 20:21 How We Feel 30:56 "Leaks" 35:06 Shao Jun 39:29 Outrodooski 46:32

Cities! Remember those? We're joined once again by the brilliant, beautiful Blue from Overly Sarcastic Productions to talk about the cities of Assassin's Creed. Good cities, shitty cities, and everything in between. What makes a city truly great? Will we ever get another one? Here's hoping. Tell us in the comments what your favorite and least favorite cities are. Couldn't hurt. Watch Blue's Valhalla Realism Review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FcXIum4l6Q Follow us on Twitter @hookblade Like us on Facebook fb.me/hookbladepodcast Intro - 0:00 Florence and Venice - 7:20 Constantinople - 14:46 Paris - 18:59 San Gimignano - 29:16 Forli - 31:24 Jorvik - 37:14 Odyssey and Origins - 38:25 Havana and Rogue's New York - 40:00 Loading Screens - 43:33 Map Size - 50:29 Variety - 59:55 Top 3 or 5 or whatever - 1:05:21 Outro - 1:08:15

What if we did another "What If?" episode? Here's basically what would happen: Tim and Lawson would talk a lot about alleged cut content and changes in direction in Assassin's Creed. A lot like the first episode, just less hypothetical and more specific. From AC1 to Odyssey, plenty of features and ideas have been removed or decided against in the games, and we're gonna talk about 'em. What if you listened, liked, subscribed, and commented? Follow us on Twitter @hookblade Like us on Facebook at fb.me/HookbladePodcast

In our most meta episode yet, we're listening back to some moments from our earlier Valhalla-centric episodes to see how our expectations for the game have (and haven't) lined up with reality. Were our theories correct? Were our hopes lived up to? Join us on an epic journey through our back catalog to bring our perspective and knowledge of the Valhalla #LikeAViking experience to our past selves. It's like five episodes for the price of one! Follow us on Twitter @hookblade

We've made it. Through trials and tribulations, we've come out on the other end of the Assassin's Creed Valhalla journey, and without a doubt, we will be forever changed. This episode is all about the story — plot, character, theme, structure, all of that shit. Is the story of Assassin's Creed Valhalla... good? Things definitely happened, but were they... good things? We'll tell you our thoughts if you tell us yours. Let us know in the comments or on Twitter where you think the Valhalla saga rates amongst the existing franchise canon. Follow us on twitter @hookblade for more scorching hot Assassin's Creed takes!

It seems the wind calls you back to Hookblade. Best tell us the good news (in the comments.) This is the first part of our Valhalla review, focusing specifically on gameplay — no spoilers here, we're saving the story stuff for next week. Join Lawson and Tim in a conversation about player choices, raids and assaults, combat, settlement gameplay, and world events. Give it a listen and let us know what gameplay elements of Valhalla you want to see come back in the next title! Follow us on Twitter @hookblade for quality tweets (no fleets)

We have reached the promised land. Assassin's Creed Valhalla has arrived. With expectations ranging from cautious optimism to dread, how has the game fared for Lawson and Tim? Listen to this episode while you play and share your own first impressions with us in the wacky little comment section below. (Or, if you're not on YouTube, tweet them to us @hookblade.)

We're pulling a Doctor Strange and peering through millions of alternate realities to see if we can find the one where Assassin's Creed is good! (Just kidding. Mostly.) This episode is all about the what-could-have-beens, from a Darby-written Assassin's Creed Origins, to a Unity that had another year to figure its shit out, and a handful of rumored canceled projects in between. Give it a listen and tell us in the comments: what's the Assassin's Creed "What If?" that keeps you up at night? If you haven't yet, check out our spin-off series, Hookblade After Hours, which premiered this week! Be sure to like, subscribe, and click the bell for future updates! Inflate our egos @hookblade on Twitter! Leave us an iTunes Review!

Introducing a new spin-off podcast! Assassin's Creed is cool and all, but sometimes, we like talking about things that aren't that. We're starting by talking about season 2 of The Boys, a superhero show on Amazon Prime that's really really good. Give it a listen and tell us your thoughts on the season in the comments!

Finally, Assassin's Creed in live action! For the first time! What could go wrong with a collaboration between two brands known for such consistently high-quality storytelling? Join Lawson and Tim for an exploration of the possibilities, from settings to showrunners and more. What kind of asinine bullshit will they argue about this time? Listen now to find out! Follow us on Twitter to feed our raging narcissism @hookblade Support us on YouTube to pledge your soul to the algorithm https://www.youtube.com/c/TheHookbladePodcast

This week, Lawson and Tim are making their own luck, and revisiting the often-misspelled 2014 spinoff(?) game, Assassin's Creed Rogue. Players step into the shoes of a Templar(?) for a game that takes the best(?) elements of Black Flag and brings them to the varied locales of Seven Years War-era North America. Anyway, we hope you enjoy this episode, and be sure to let us know what you thought about Rogue! Harrass us on Twitter @hookblade and make sure to check out our YouTube channel where liking, subscribing, and commenting is a really big help!

This week, Ubisoft PR woke up from a big long nap and remembered they had to promote Assassin's Creed Valhalla. Tim and Lawson start by discussing some of the details and revelations in the Deep Dive Trailer, but are mostly sidetracked by trying to unravel the painful, headache-inducing bizarreness of some new information about the player character gender choices. Reach the show on Twitter @hookblade

Yo ho ho, motherfuckers. This week, Tim, Lawson, and the great WhiteWolfWhispers set sail on the high seas in search of rum and plunder in a discussion about Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag. Is it the best AC game? Is it the best game ever made? Is it just okay? Tune in for the answers to all of these questions and more.

It's Lawson and Tim vs. Assassin's Creed 3 in an ultimate teardown of the game's storytelling and gameplay. (Oh, and we've got some news about Valhalla and #ACSisterhood to talk about.) We hope that even if you love the game, you can still enjoy our analysis and appreciate our perspective. And if you hate the game, hopefully you'll find this cathartic? As always, let us know what you think about the episode in our YouTube comments, or find us on twitter @hookblade and yell at us there. Cheers! 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:30 Valhalla News Roundup 00:17:40 AC3 Story Analysis 00:53:03 AC3 Gameplay Analysis 01:33:05 Outro

This week, we're joined by Blue from Overly Sarcastic Productions in a conversation about all things historical accuracy! Are the AC games truly "historically accurate?" When is it OK not to be? How does a history buff like Blue feel about mythological shenanigans? What is it about Valhalla's marketing that has historians raising an eyebrow? All these questions and more are answered in this hour of riveting conversation. Check out OSP's Realism Review videos on Origins and Odyssey! Subscribe to their channel if you haven't already! Follow them on Twitter!

This week's episode contains as many shocking revelations as the game does! Which is to say there basically aren't any. The subtitle is kinda weird. Anyway, we're diving into the podcast's namesake, home of the Hookblade itself. Find out how Revelations earned its spot at the top of Timmy's AC ranking list, and third place on Lawson's! You know what, guys? Sometimes, Assassin's Creed can be pretty good. Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 05:46 Gushing About the Story 23:00 Complaints! 40:40 Gameplay Stuff 58:00 Outroduction

This week, we're joined by friend and listener Jcers (formerly JcersHabs018) to revisit the classic: Assassin's Creed Brotherhood. Is Brotherhood overrated or underrated? Lawson, Tim, and Jcers discuss their opinions — leave yours in the comments below, or find us on twitter @hookblade. Be sure to check out Jcers' channel for stealth playthroughs, parkour movement guides, and tons of other great Assassin's Creed content. His AC Unity Ultimate Movement Guide is the one we talked about in the intro! We also mention our AC Ranking episode from last week, so give that a listen if you haven't yet!

Tim and Lawson are recording in the same room together for the first time ever, so they can hash out their ranking lists of the AC games in person. Check out their lists and share yours with us in our YouTube comments section or on Twitter @hookblade! Here's the promised link to the bizarre Assassin's Creed II trailer where Ezio is played by his dad. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R20-MOOZPpY Our Final Lists: LAWSON: 1. AC4 Black Flag 2. AC2 3. AC Revelations 4. AC Syndicate 5. AC Rogue 6. AC Brotherhood 7. AC Unity 8. AC1 9. AC Odyssey 10. AC Origins 11. AC3 TIM: 1. AC Revelations 2. AC2 3. AC Brotherhood 4. AC1 5. AC4 Black Flag 6. AC Syndicate 7. AC Unity 8. AC3 9. AC Rogue 10. AC Origins 11. AC Odyssey

Tim and Lawson are joined by their friend Nick. This week they're jumping back into the golden age of Assassin's Creed with the game that, arguably, actually started it all. Insieme per la vittoria!! and so on and so forth.

Lawson and Tim have just finished replaying the original Assassin's Creed! The game that started it all! They have some thoughts about it.

In a bonus conversation that was cut from last week's episode, Lawson, Tim, and PutridMoldyman discuss and debate the inclusion of dialogue choices in Assassin's Creed Odyssey and Valhalla.

Joined by guest host PutridMoldyman, Tim and Lawson discuss the things they think Ubisoft needs to do in order to “save Assassin's Creed.” It's some typical Hookblade shit pretty much.

In their quest to understand and discuss the Modern Day storyline, Tim and Lawson have to fill in each other's knowledge gaps on some of the games and comics. They'll have to undergo a true emotional journey to fully explain what makes the Modern Day story a big ball of stupid.

The Hookblade crew is back to tell you how you should feel about the gameplay leaks and demos for Assassin's Creed Valhalla. The bit where you can stack stones on top of each other is kinda nice, I guess.

Tim and Lawson dive deep into the story of Jot Soora, a mild-mannered Indian programmer who finds himself caught in the crossfire of an Assassin v. Templar race to find the legendary Koh-i-Noor diamond.

Tim and Lawson check out a relatively recent, somewhat under-the-radar French Assassin's Creed graphic novel set in the midst of World War II.

In this episode, Tim and Lawson take a retrospective look at some of the first official Assassin's Creed comics: The Fall and The Chain, graphic novels chronicling the story of Daniel Cross and his journey through the memories of Russian Assassin Nikolai Orelov.

Does the audio drama live up to its title? Or is it more like… Assassin's Creed Mold? Tim and Lawson explore this question for an in-depth review of a new piece of Assassin's Creed canon.

Tim and Lawson round up some of the confirmed details about Assassin's Creed Valhalla, and discuss their thoughts and theories about it.