The White Tower: A Wheel of Time Podcast

Bananaquit. We have entered the Terrordome. Moraine's a fed. Murder's not a vibe. Fuck around and find out. Top tier shit. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Jenn & Jess welcome a new friend, Mikah, to talk about the importance of accessibility in entertainment for visually impaired people, and how the Wheel of Time community can be better allies and advocates. Come for the education, stay for the shenanigans! Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

A pile of trash in a trenchcoat. Twat Squad. Lanfear II: The Ripening. Sponsored by Monsanto. Full Miami. The Winds of Winter is a cryptid.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Horde 4 life. Our nerd score went super saiyan. That's the byline, bitch. Butt punch. Keep your mind on the weasels. Mat's got beef with everybody. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Dropping early for Election Day 2020 distraction. Roll Tide. Digging in her eels. *AIRHORN NOISES*. Moiraine has entered the chat.

It's all downhill from here, turkeys. Don't swim in the rivers, kids. Perrin at Peak Dad. SCANDAL! I'll noodle on it. The line that sank a thousand ships.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

A disease midden. Swimmin' in women. A Real Class Act™️. It wasn't me. BONK! Go to horny jail. Pimp TIGHT. Rambo. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

20 fucking pages. He dummy thicc. The makeover montage from Clueless. A comedy of bullshit. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

From Lews Therin Telemon's Dick Mountain to Manetheren's Jock, here are the funniest moments from our first 10 episodes. Please to enjoy. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon

We figured out how to livestream to YouTube on the fly, and John Phillip Sousa'd the shit out of the final episode of The Dragon Reborn! Grab a snack, this is along one, kids. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon

We're joined this week by Jono, Joe, and Tom from tWoTcast to round out our 2-part collaboration. We talk about dirty taint channeling, farts, and what WoT character is mostly likely to fall in love with a stripper. Find tWoTcast here: http://www.twotcast.com/ Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Wendy's salad bar was tight. High Lord Salmon. Tim Curry Appreciation Hour. 100% flirtation, max level unlocked. Do you even rumors, bro? Hedgehog it out.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Ball cologne? Ya ignorant. Life finds a way. Duality of bird. You can put anything in a building and call it a museum. Embrace the poison. Adam Ruins Everything - The Disturbing History of the Suburbs | truTV Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

We welcome our Sister Recappa Sedai to talk about the drama going down in Emond's Field, Big Kaf, bullshit Warders, and who in the Two Rivers is a bigger bitch than Lanfear.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Pepperidge Farms remembers. Egwene is a piss-ass. Dat ankle. A free space on the Tel'aran'rhiod bingo board. It's hard out here for a pimp. Juilin Sandar is Rafael from TMNT, canon.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Our infinite wisdom. Rockin' a piss. Jenn.exe has stopped. DDC, that's canon. 17% noble and the rest just dumb. Dirty Darkfriend money. Being boy crazy isn't a personality trait, Else.

HOT GIRL SUMMER. Everything is terrible forever. Some fuckin' big brain shit.  Big Bisexual Energy. The GOAT of Andor.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Floating in the cosmic drivel. Pigeonmail.net. Lan has a concern. GIRLS NIIIIIGHT. The White Tower Podcast's official unit of measurement. "Oh, I like his forehead." Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

More of that BIG Ta'veren Energy. Mat's got explosives, what could possibly go wrong. A duel-horned rhino. Welcome to the gun show. Jenn goes Full Connie, resigns in disgrace.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

The Superior Darcy. Cast your rat tail into the fire. JOLEEEENE! *slaps trunk of tree* This baby can hold so many Aiel. Hoe, don't do it. WoT Trivia Discord: https://discord.gg/dM6XDxY Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

She sounds like a whore. What does the crane make? Big brain Jenn. Hard on the gin.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

For two raw, uncut hours we get real about the systemic racism built into the very foundations of this country, and trust: we are pissed off about it. We hope this discussion pisses you off, too, and that you take what action you can.

We recorded this 2 weeks ago. Things have happened since then. WE DIDN'T KNOW. Humping his blanket roll. Staring like a dullard. Tenacious D is Old Lore. Choice banter. Birb-blade. Spinning the hits, keeping it lit. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Juicy boat stuff. Delilah's mini radio empire. Bo staff skills. Mat's cast iron balls. Horny, sad, and alone. That drip-drippy. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

The sex number. A suboptimal flavor experience. Swimming around in Mat's bullshit like Scrooge McDuck. The Gray Man failed the vibe check. Murder Parkour.

Mat is the asshole. Just a dead Graywoman, laying at her ease. A boatload of fishing metaphors. It's fiction. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Time is ineffable and beyond our comprehension. But we kind of already knew that.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Kicking ass for fun & profit. FLAWLESS VICTORY. The greatest hero in literature. Tiny Tim was Jack the Ripper. Fancy Bird Boi. That wasn't rhetorical.

The longest chapter in the history of humankind. Pack with peanuts and emotion. Gimme the yeet bois. Elaida's Big Dick Energy. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Foo Fighters war of attrition. Mat's a fuckin' sassafrass. Half naked and not giving a fuck. Some scientific-type big brain meta high level security access science shit.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

We welcome back friend of the show Daniel Greene to talk about what our favorite WoT characters would be if they existed in the modern world. We even actually talk about that some of the time. Daniel's YouTube Daniel's Twitter Daniel's Instagram

Buck-toothed hayseed. We need and old priest and a young priest. Coronavirus-riddled sister. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Possibly our most drunken episode to date.

We're Voltron, if Voltron was only two things. License to be horny on main. Lawful good idiot. Intrigue deserves better than Elaida. Complete Jackassery.

What chapter is this? Vendettaaaaaa! Yikes on bikes. Someone smoothed their skirt, take a shot. Dark friend lasagna. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

We're not your role models. Our nerd dick is dully erect. BEAUTIFUL PLUMAGE. We're not gonna go into Dostoevsky. Liandrin's murder list.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

A socially acceptable amount of wine. Nobody wants a cursed dick. He's a bitch; stop blowing him up, please. A band called Mat's Leather Sack. Hurin, the True Messiah. The chancla has power. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon

Lesbian sea shanties. Geographically illiterate. Full feral. A Flintstone's vitamin and a band-aid. Press F to pay respects. Schrodinger's Verin. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

Animals doing things. Men is too headache. There's no negging in mac & cheese. Glasses are for communists.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon

17th century whores are basically our calling card. Just legitimize Henry Fitzroy FFS. It hit different. Give up that ass. Emo wolf boy, emo magic boy.  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon

Heh. Taint. Honestly, that's all we've got.

Saved from rabies and a lion. Okay, Theoden King. Dick deep in it. Waxing poetic. Fuckin' ravens. Perrin has +5 to perception. Tai'shar Uno.

Lots of Aladdin talk to kick off 2020. Min is yoked. Moiraine is so fucking extra. Read the room, Perrin. You can't just gank the Dark One.

Binocular shit. Host of ghosts. Birgitte 100% has the biggest dick of all. Time stop hentai. Sheepherder ascendent. Vaccinate your fucking kids. Grade A Ass-Dick, Artur Hawkwing.

The non-canon canon Amyrlin. The Flamingo's Fang. Tall and wide, like my ass. Mat's canon boner. Chopsticks. A Very Athletic Boi. Hurricane drill yoga pose. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon

Please to enjoy the full interview we did with Jon from the Just Role With It Podcast! Season 1, Episode 1 of The Dragon's Shadow, their new campaign set in the 4th Age in the Wheel of Time universe, will drop on Tuesday, December 16th, at 6 am Pacific Standard Time. Find them online: Twitter: @just_role Patreon: patreon.com/JRWI Download: http://justrolewithit.net/

Happy Anniversary to us! To celebrate the big 5-0 we did a live chat recording on our Discord. It got buck wild. Spoilers out!  Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon  

I hate you, Ron. Mac & cheese sex noises. Grand theft tree fruit. The return of the Westlands' favorite pirate. I Hate You Ron: https://youtu.be/nbt2DaDu-oE Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Support us on Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon

Hell of an effort. A lethal combination. The webs we weave. Liandrin & Suroth, one night only. So much fuckery. They get their spell slots back. Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod

Don't have calcium with your iron supplements! Thom Merrilin, Kingkiller: he did what Hamlet could not. Liandrin's shitty glory. Plus an interview with Aginor from the Just Role With It Podcast! Find us online: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPod Find Just Role With It: http://justrolewithit.net/ https://www.patreon.com/JRWI https://twitter.com/just_role

Our good great friend Daniel Greene, aka the second most talented Daniel Greene on YouTube, joins us to talk professional content creation, WoT casting, the Last Battle (à la telethon), and Pierce Brosnan's chest hair.  Daniel's YouTube: http://bit.ly/2ndBestDaniel   Twitter: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerTwitter Instagram: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerInsta Facebook: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerFacebook Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon Discord: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerDiscord Website: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerWebsite

Jess sort of left her notes in a hotel room in Chicago but there was almost certainly something about dicks in there so...you're welcome, housekeeping staff at the Hyatt Regency.   Twitter: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerTwitter Instagram: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerInsta Facebook: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerFacebook Patreon: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerPatreon Discord: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerDiscord Website: http://bit.ly/WhiteTowerWebsite