Podcasts about Heh

In this episode, Nick sits down with one of his best friends, and also, boss, and they discuss volunteer, not only recruiting, but also how to create such a strong volunteer team that volunteers would never choose to leave your team. Be sure to stick around for the surprising strategy that actually keeps volunteers on the team longer!

Warm water was ver te zoeken, maar de energie zat er goed in! Belangrijkste topics deze week:

You'll find "happy hearts and smiling faces" as Mission: Rejected takes over What Did We Just Watch? - The Movie Trivia Quiz Show Podcast to discuss and dissect the 1981 musical Shock Treatment.Once upon a time, there lived a real fast guy. His life was fast. His friends were fast. Heh - even his podcast was fast. We have covered a lot of types of movies on this show, but this is our first cult-classic spiritual sequel of a cult-classic. Our panel ticks through the wild and wacky cast, tries to recall some of the strange and specific lyrics from the original songs, and decides where this fits in the Rocky Horror cinematic universe. Head on over to Denton, and we'll save you a seat in the studio.Guest Host: J. Michael DeAngelisPlayers: Pete Barry, Bob Killion, and Chris KlanieckiIf you want to hear the entire episode, listen and to subscribe to WDWJW! If you love cult movies, you'll love What Did We Just Watch? The Admiral himself, Bob Killion, is a regular panelist and co-host, and many members of the Mission: Rejected family have guested, including Chris, Paige, Jill, Faith, John, Shannon, Pete, and Michael.

**Today's Halacha is dedicated f or the refuah and haslacha of Ronnie, Sharon, Eli and all the children of CARE** On Purim morning, one should make an effort to wake up extra early and recite Tehilim. This is based on the Hida (Rav Haim Yosef David Azulai, 1724-1807), who writes in his "Devash L'fi" that there are five special days during the year that one should arise at "Hashkama"-extra early: Tisha B'ab, Shabuot, Rosh Hashana, Hoshana Rabba and Purim. He says that this is alluded to in the word "AVRaHaM" in the verse "Vayashkem AVRraHaM BaBoker"-Avraham arose early in the morning. The letter "Aleph" of Avraham, hints to "Echa" which is read on Tisha B'ab; the "Vet" refers to Shabuot on which the Torah was given, and the Torah begins with the letter "Bet;" the "Resh" refers to Rosh Hashana; the "Heh" alludes to Hoshana Rabbah; and the "Mem" hints to the Megillah of Purim. *** The special Tefila of "Al Hanisim" is inserted into the Amidah of Purim. If one forgot to do so, he does not have to go back and repeat the Amidah. Nevertheless, it is preferable to recite the "Al Hanisim" at the expense of prolonging his Amidah and missing the Kedusha with the Sibbur, than to skip it and finish earlier. *** The Torah reading for Purim is "VaYavo Amalek," in Parshat B'shalach. Since it only has nine verses, the accepted custom is to read the last verse twice to complete the requisite ten verses need for a public Torah reading. It is important for everyone to hear this Parasha. Those who missed hearing Parashat Zachor can fulfill the Misva with this reading, if they have intent to do so. The Kaf HaHaim (Rav Yaakob Haim Sofer, Baghdad-Israel, 1870-1939, Ch. 693:25) writes that if someone cannot attend Bet Knesset on Purim day, he should read this passage by himself at home with the Ta'amim (cantillation). After reading the Torah, the Tefila continues with "Ashreh" and the beginning of "Uva Lesion." The Megillah is read before the Pasuk "V'atah Kadosh." In the morning, "Shehecheyanu" is not recited on the Megillah, according to the practice of the Sepharadim. The Sefer Torah is kept out until after the Megillah is read, because the Megillah states, "LaYehudim Hayta Orah V'simcha, V'saon V'y'kar"-the Jews had light and joy and happiness and glory. The Gemara understands that Orah (light) refers to the light of the Torah. One should not take off his Tefilin before the completion of the Megillah, because the same verse says that the Jews had "Y'kar"-glory. The Gemara understands that it is referring to Tefilin. In fact, the custom is to kiss the Tefilin when that word is read. If there is a Brit Mila, some say that it is performed prior to the Megillah reading to correspond to a word in that same Pasuk "Sason"-joy, which the Hachamim understand to be Brit Mila. However, the accepted practice is to conduct the Mila after Shaharit. *** There is no obligation to recite Hallel on Purim. One reason for this is that the reading of the Megillah, which tells the story of the miraculous events, takes the place of Hallel. Therefore, if one cannot hear the Megillah, there are Poskim who hold that he should recite the complete Hallel. This should be done without a Beracha, as there is a difference of opinion on the matter. After the Shir Shel Yom (Psalm of the Day), the Mizmor (Tehilim 22) "Al Ayelet Hashachar" is added. Esther was referred to as "Ayelet Hashachar," and this was the prayer she offered upon approaching the King's private chamber. *** It is prohibited to eat even a small amount before hearing the Megillah on Purim morning, even if one has already prayed. Therefore, one should insure that his wife and children hear the Megillah promptly, so that they can eat. *** Immediately after Shaharit, the Matanot LaEvyonim are distributed. Performing this Misva early is not only a fulfillment of "Zerizim Makdimim L'Misvot," but it also enables the recipients to use the money to buy what they lack for the holiday. *** The Shulhan Aruch rules that the Beracha of Shehecheyanu is not recited before reading the Megillah in the morning. This applies even if one did not fulfill the Misva of Megillah the previous night. One should have in mind to include the other Misvot when he hears the Beracha at night. *** The Hida (Lev David, Ch. 30) brings a custom for both men and women to light two candles in honor of Mordechai and Esther on Purim. After lighting the candles, one should give Sedaka and offer heartfelt prayers and requests in their merit. There is a widespread custom to don costumes on Purim. The Hida mentions this specifically regarding the Seudah. The Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909, Ateret Tiferet) brings a custom for women to adorn themselves with their fanciest jewelry, even more than Shabbat and Yom Tov. This custom has its origins in the Kabbalah. This should only be done within the confines of her own home and not to go out publicly, so as not to breach the standards of modesty.

We're kicking off our month of Weird-Ass Dystopian Cities with Terry Gilliam's classic satirical nightmare, Brazil! Join us as we pick apart this strange world of failing systems and bureaucratic ass-covering that holds absolutely no similarity to the real world in which we live. Heh. Heh. CHAPTERS: (00:00:00) - The Nextlander Watchcast Episode 127: Brazil (1985) (00:00:11) - Intro. (00:01:47) - Our movie this week: Terry Gilliam's Brazil! But which version?!? (00:06:11) - A cinematic Rosetta Stone. (00:17:26) - Our respective attachments to various Gilliam and Monty Python things. (00:21:35) - Was this movie successful? Also, digging into the production. (00:28:04) - Our star-studded cast. (00:37:40) - An intro of exploding televisions and ruinous clerical errors. (00:43:40) - The dreams of Sam Lowry. (00:47:31) - Untangling the web of responsibility for the Buttle/Tuttle affair. (00:52:01) - Break! (00:52:28) - We're back, and it's time to stretch some flesh. (00:58:24) - HVAC anarchy. (01:03:46) - Sam decides to make a house call. (01:10:14) - Central Services gets revenge. (01:16:17) - A Christmas party full of demons. (01:19:26) - Welcome to Information Retrieval. (01:22:49) - The Lint reveal. (01:27:07) - Sam can't stop running into his dream woman. (01:35:06) - Sam has had enough. (01:41:50) - A post-coital SWAT raid. (01:50:05) - A jailbreak in the cooling tower, and things go off the rails. (01:55:27) - The funeral of the seeping woman, and all is not as it seems. (01:59:59) - Final thoughts. (02:06:26) - Our film for next week: Walter Hill's The Warriors! (02:09:48) - Outro. 

Welcome to our Perek Shira class. Today's song is the song of אֵלִים שֶׁבַּשְּׁרָצִים ,the powerful strong rodents. And they say . אֶשְׁתְּךָ כְּגֶפֶן פֹּרִיָּה בְּיַרְכְּתֵי בֵיתֶךָ בָּנֶיךָ כִּשְׁתִלֵי זֵיתִים סָבִיב לְשֻׁלְחָנֶךָ: (תהילים קכח ג) Your wife is like a fruitful vine, on the side of your house. Your sons are like olive saplings around your table. (Tehilim 128,3) What do these rodents have to do with this healthy pregnancies and children? So to say? We go back to the Gemara in Masechet Sotah that tells us that in the merit of the righteous woman we left Mitzrayim. What did the righteous women do? They convinced their husbands to have children even in extenuating circumstances with all the challenges that went with being in Mitzrayim with all the back breaking labor. The sefer Kol Rina says that the husbands told their wives, I'm working hard. You are working hard. Who says that your pregnancy will be successful? What, are we doing here?" And the ladies told their husbands, אֶשְׁתְּךָ כְּגֶפֶן פֹּרִיָּה : Your wife is like a vineyard . The Midrash Raba in Shemot Raba perek 16 tells us that one who that sees grapes in a dream, his wife will not miscarry, as the Gemara in Berachot 47A says. So the wife was telling her husband, Don't worry, I'm like a vineyard where the grapes are attached to the cluster very strongly and they don't fall down. And when the husband said, How am I going to support them , his wife said, Don't worry, your sons are going to be like olive saps, as it says, one who sees an olive in his dream will have many children and these many children, סָבִיב לְשֻׁלְחָנֶךָ they will be like olive saplings around your large table. You'll have money to support them. Additionally , the term Sheratzim also refers to the Jewish wives in Mitzrayim (although rodent is a negative term), as it says וּבְנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל פָּר֧וּ וַֽיִּשְׁרְצ֛וּ וַיִּרְבּ֥וּ they multiplied like rodents, six at a time. So –although it doesn't sound nice to us , we're referring to the Jewish woman who had the strength to give birth to six at a time, like these rodents do, with very healthy offspring. Furthermore, the Midrash Raba says on the pasuk Shemot 31 וּבְנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל פָּר֧וּ וַֽיִּשְׁרְצ֛וּ וַיִּרְבּ֥וּ that there is a machloket among the Amoraim. One says, we're compared to the strong Sheratzim, which gives birth to six at a time. Others say it's to the smallest Sheratzim , that give birth to 60 at a time. Regardless, the point is that like little scorpions that come out as teeny little things, but yet strong and healthy, so too we're being told that even though they were six at one time, they were healthy. It wasn't like modern times, where if someone had sextuplets, they'd be weak. פָּר֧וּ וַֽיִּשְׁרְצ֛וּ וַיִּרְבּ֥וּ וַיַּֽעַצְמ֖וּ ׃ They were very strong. They're very powerful. The sefer Kenaf Rananim asks why it says אֶשְׁתְּךָ כְּגֶפֶן פֹּרִיָּה בְּיַרְכְּתֵי בֵיתֶךָ /she's all over the different sides of your house? Because sometimes when a lady many children, she's tired, she's in bed, she's too weak to take care of the household. But here, we're saying, No, she's all over the house. She's taking care of everything. Rabbenu Bachye adds beautiful thought on Bereshit 34,1 from Midrash Tanhuma on Vayishlach chapter six that says that when a lady is , אֶשְׁתְּךָ כְּגֶפֶן פֹּרִיָּה בְּיַרְכְּתֵי בֵיתֶךָ which means she's on the side of her house, she's inside, she's modest, she's sanua . She brings kapara because it uses the term yerech which is the side, and it says in Vayikra 1,11 yerech Hamizbe'ach-, so the lady who's a modest lady is like an altar that brings kapara and she will have children. The next term talks about the olive sprouts because the children will be fit to be anointed with the holy anointing oil, which is made out of olive oil. He continues on, to tell us that Masechet Yoma daf 47 describes the lady called the Kimchit who had seven sons that all became Kohanim Gedolim because of her tremendous modesty. And again, this goes back to the modest woman of Mitzrayim . It says none of them did anything improper. There was only one lady Shlomit bat Divri that was called out. All the other ladies were modest. And that's adds to the, the, the tremendous beracha that came upon the ladies of Mitzrayim and allowed them to raise these wonderful families. In their merit, we were saved from Mitzrayim. So again, this pasuk captures the greatness and the righteousness of the Jewish women at that time. And that is the strength of the rodents. The Chatam Sofer, in his commentary on Tehilim on this pasuk, adds something beautiful. And he says that a lady is compared to a vine because wine is easy. You put the wine in the barrel and you sit it and it develops. SO she'll have children easily, but raising children is not as easy. If you want to turn an olive into olive oil, you have to crush it and smash it and push it. It's not as easy to make olive oil from olives as it is to get wine from grapes (a little hinuch hint) And finally, a beautiful thought from the Midrash Shemuel in his commentary on Pirkei Avot 3,1 He's bothered by the word אֶשְׁתְּךָ which has a segol with three dots rather than the typical spelling of wife which is Ishtecha - with a hirik - which has one dot . He says that there are three partners in a person- a husband, wife and God. And so we put the three dots there to tell you that if you want to have a successful marriage, we need the Shechina to come down. He says, that's why it says כְּגֶפֶן פֹּרִיָּה It could have said porah. Why is there an extra Yud there? Because then פרעה jas a Yud and Heh and as we know, it says that when the Jewish people left Mitzrayim, God Himself testified on the kashrut of the Jewish people. If one would say, " Oh you Jewish people were in Egypt all those years, and you think your lineage is pure?" God testified, הַפָּלוֹי , all the names have a ה in the beginning and a י at the end , and they're called Shivteh Yah tribes of God , עדות לישראל the tribes of God. God came down and testified that, that they all proper couples. And that's why this pasuk specifically referring to those ladies, is Ishtecha not Eshtecha and Gefen Poriah, not Porah . Rashi brings down this point that Hashem testified to the fidelity of the Jewish people. (See Rashi in Bamidbar 26,5 and Tehilim 122,4)

Attention Parents: What you need to know before your child listens—⁠⁠click here!Some treasures are meant to stay buried… but Luke didn't heed the warning. When he unearths a stash of ancient gold, his luck seems to change—until the shadows start moving, the whispers grow louder, and something comes to collect its debt.Was it greed that sealed his fate… or something far more sinister? Listen closely, my fright fiends, but be warned—some curses never let go.Heh-heh-heh… enjoy the show!SUBMIT YOUR STORY & ALL THINGS MR.CEMETERY: CLICK HERE 

Welcome to our humility series. What was the reason Moshe Rabbenu was the greatest of prophets? What made him so special? The Nefesh HaChaim (gate 1, chapter 15) says that only Moshe Rabbenu merited that his full Neshama entered his body with all of its power and influence. That's why in Devarim 33:1, Moshe Rabbenu was called Ish HaElohim /a man of God. Rav Yaakov Hillel, in his commentary Nishmat HaYam on Nefesh HaChaim, connects this to what the Nefesh HaChaim writes in his third gate (chapters 13& 14), that Moshe Rabbenu stood out in the area of humility. It says in Bamidbar 12,3 וְהָאִ֥ישׁ מֹשֶׁ֖ה עָנָ֣ו מְאֹ֑ד מִכֹּל֙ הָֽאָדָ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֖ר עַל־פְּנֵ֥י הָאֲדָמָֽה׃ Moshe Rabbenu was the most humble of men. Furthermore, in Shemot 16,7 Moshe Rabbenu said about himself, ונחנו מה / What are we? Avraham Avinu said, I am dirt and dust , but even dirt and dust are something . It's not a lot, but it's something. However, Moshe Rabbenu said I am nothing . That's why, says Rav Yaakov Hillel, he was able to connect to Hashem on such a high level and reach such a high level of Holiness to the extent that the Shechina spoke through Moshe Rabbenu's throat, as it says, Moshe Rabbenu was different than all of the prophets . All other the prophets said Zeh Davar Hashem / this is the word of God. But Moshe Rabbenu said Ko Amar Hashem/ this is exactly what God says. It came from his throat as if God was talking through him. Why was this? Because he humbled himself to the extreme, and that humility purified his physicality to a point that no other person ever reached. Rav Chaim Volozhin, in his sefer Ruach Chaim Pirkei Avot (chapter 1, mishna 1) uses this to explain the Mishna that Moshe Kibel Torah M'Sinai/ Moshe accepted the Torah from Sinai in the zechut of his humility, more than any other prophet. That's why he was able to see with what's called a shiny window. Windows have different levels of clarity. Certain windows are tinted and you can't see through them well. The better or clearer the window, the better you can see through it. Since what separates us from God is our physicality, our holding of ourselves as a something (what's what we mean by physicality) interferes. But because Moshe's humility was so high, there was nothing to interfere with his connection to Hashem. The Baal Shem Tov has an interesting commentary on, אנכי עומד בין ה׳ וביניכם I am standing between you and your God. The simple meaning is that Moshe Rabbenu is the intermediary, but the Hasidim read it as, a person's Anochi , his egoism is what stands between him and God . Thus the interference between us and God is our egos. Since Moshe Rabbenu had no ego, there was no separation between him and God. This is a very interesting chiddush because the Rambam, in his Shmonei Perakim , where he talks about this concept of the clear glass and the unclear glass, says that every Middah creates an interference. And we see from here that the all/ powerful Middah that, so to say, cleans away all the dirt and grime from a person's soul, is the trait of humility. That was Moshe Rabbenu's greatness. The same Ruach HaChaim says that when it says, "Avraham, Avraham" in the Torah, there's a break between the two, like a line between the two Avrahams. But when is says Moshe Moshe , it doesn't have that. Why is that? Because one of the Avrahams is the Avraham down here, and the other Avraham is the Avraham above- the soul, or the source. His body and Neshama had some kind of separation, so there wasn't an exact connection (of course we talking about Avraham Avinu, so it was only the slightest little bit, but there was still some difference). Moshe Rabbenu reached even higher level. I saw in Rav Yisrael Eliyahu Weintraub's commentary on Nefesh HaChaim that he askshow we can make it sound like Moshe was greater than the Avot ? He explains that this is a concept we talked about before, of the Nanas/ the dwarf, Al Gaveh Anak standing on top of giants, which means Moshe (who, of course was not a dwarf) was building on what the Avot saw. The Avot were able to see Hashem. They used the term Elohim for Hashem. Rashi says, in the beginning of Vaera , that God appeared to the Avot with the name Elohim . But when He appeared to Moshe, it was with Hashem's Divine name of Yud and Heh and Vav and Heh . What's the difference? Elohim means God is in control of all forces. God's able to change nature. Avraham Avinu went into fire and the fire didn't burn him. That's changing nature. But Moshe Rabbenu was on a higher level. It was not like just changing the fire that it wouldn't burn. When he made the miracle of turning water into blood, and blood into water, that was a new creation. When God opened up the earth for Korach, it was a new creation. That higher level of there is no existence but God, which we call En Od Milevado, happened when Rabbenu gave us the Torah. Moshe Rabbenu reached that level and that connection, and his humility caused him to have that high level of understanding of God (Nefesh HaChaim Shaar 3,perek 13 where he discusses this difference between the two names of Hashem and how that impacted Moshe Rabbenu versus the Avot). Going back to our story of ego and I separating us from God, let's get more practical. We're not talking about levels of prophecy between us and Moshe and the Avot. Many political critics keep track of how many times a president or presidential candidate say I in their speeches. I did this and I did that. And I and I and I. That's the feeling of I am doing. That's the Anochi , the I , the ego . There's a beautiful to story told of Rav Shneur Zalman of Liadi who eventually became the famous Baal HaTanya. He was studying under the Hasidish Rebbe Rav Dov Ber, who's known as the Maggid of Mezerich. Late one night, young Zalman knocked on his Rebbe's door to ask him a question. The Rebbe called out, " Who's there ?" And the young boy responded, " It's me ," confident that he would be recognized. The Rabbi repeated, " Who's there ?" and again, he said, " It's me." After the third time that the Rebbe asked Who's there ? the young student finally said, " It's Zalman." The Rebbe then opened the door and said, " My dear Zalman, the time has come for you to have a self-imposed exile. When you return, we will analyze your experience together." In those days, great people went into exile and for some reason, at this point, it was his time. So he went to a certain inn and that very night, thieves broke in and stole the silverware of the innkeeper. The next morning, the innkeeper was suspicious of this young stranger, Zalman, accused him of stealing the the silver and demanded that he confess. Zalman cried, "It was not me! It was not me!" The innkeeper grabbed him by the neck and accused him again. And again he cried, " It's not me, it's not me!" He then pulled himself out of the innkeeper's grip and fled back to Mezerich. He told the Maggid the story and the Maggid said, " This, my dear Zaman, is a lesson which you should never forget. Do you see how many times you were forced to shout, "Not me, not me?"That was in order to undo the effect of calling out proudly, "It's me!" Yes, of course this is the high level training of a great Hasidic Rebbe who eventually started a great dynasty. But the point for us is that the greater the person is, the less the I is there. Moshe Rabbenu did not possess an I and therefore he reached the greatest of levels. And the opposite, the greater the I, the bigger the interference between the person and God.

The first day of Adar can fall on either Shabbat, Monday, Wednesday or Friday; these are the only days of the week on which the first of Adar can occur. These four days are represented by the acrostic "Zabdu," which consists of the letters Zayin (referring to Shabbat), Bet (referring to Monday), Dalet (referring to Wednesday) and Vav (referring to Friday). This year (5785/2025), of course, the first of Adar falls on Friday. Our Hachamim teach us that the twelve months correspond to the twelve possible configurations of the divine Name of "Havaya." This Name has four letters, which can be arranged in twelve different sequences. Each of the months is under the influence of one such configuration. The Arizal (Rav Yishak Luria of Safed, 1534-1572) taught that when one recites the middle Beracha of the Amida of Musaf on Rosh Hodesh – the Beracha that concludes, "Baruch Ata Hashem Mekadesh Yisrael Ve'Rasheh Hodashim" – he should have in mind the configuration that corresponds to that month. The configuration of the month of Adar is Heh-Heh, followed by Yod-Vav. This sequence is alluded to in Yaakob's blessing to his son Yehuda before his death, in which he says, "Oseri La'gefen Iro Ve'la'soreka Beni Atono" (Bereshit 49:11). The final letters of the words "Iro Ve'la'soreka Beni Atono" are "Heh," "Heh," "Yod," "Vav," alluding to the configuration of God's Name that corresponds to the month of Adar. One should have this configuration in mind when reciting the middle Beracha of the Amida of Musaf on Rosh Hodesh Adar. This Kavana (intention) is especially significant. The Hachamim teach us that the two Heh letters in the divine Name represent the attribute of "Din" (judgment), which is the "female" aspect of the Name. The other two letters – Yod and Vav – signify divine Mercy, the "male" aspect. When a month's configuration begins with the two Heh letters, that month is, in its purest form, under the influence of "Din." Therefore, the month of Adar, which is under the influence of Heh-Heh Yod-Vav, is, at its core, under the power of divine judgment. However, as we know from the Megila, there is the possibility of "Ve'nahafoch Hu," of reversing the power of harsh judgment to mercy through prayer, repentance, fasting and charity. Even though the essence of Adar is under the influence of "Din," it is within our power to reverse the influence to that of divine compassion. This concept is alluded to in Megilat Ester, in the seemingly peculiar decree proposed by Memuchan, an advisor of King Ahashverosh. After Vashti disobeyed the king, Memuchan – who, according to one view in the Gemara, was the prophet Daniel – suggested that the king issue a decree that all husbands in the empire should assert authority in their homes: "Lihiyot Kol Ish Sorer Be'beto" (Ester 1:22). It is possible that Daniel saw through his prophetic vision that the attribute of "Din," which is the "female" aspect of the divine Name, was gaining strength and posed a threat to the Jewish people. He sought to reverse this dangerous situation by requiring the husbands, the males, to assert their authority, thus bolstering the power of the "male" aspect of the Name, the attribute of kindness and compassion. Sure enough, his efforts were successful and the harsh judgment of Adar was transformed into mercy for the Jewish people. Thus, although the month of Adar is represented by a configuration beginning with Heh-Heh, and should therefore be a month of judgment, we are able to transform the nature of this month and bring upon ourselves divine compassion through our repentance and good deeds.

King David proclaims in Tehillim (17:15), "Ani Be'sedek Eheze Fanecha" – "I shall behold Your countenance in righteousness." The Gemara in Masechet Baba Batra (10) explains this verse as revealing a fundamental precept relevant to Sedaka (charity) – that whoever involves himself in charity earns the privilege of beholding the Divine Presence. King David here teaches us that "Be'sedek," through the great merit of Sedaka, "Eheze Fanecha" – one is rewarded with the privilege of beholding a revelation of Hashem. This concept is seen in other sources, as well. Parashat Vayera begins by telling us that Hashem revealed Himself to Abraham Abinu: "Vayera Elav Hashem." The Sages explain that G-d came to Abraham to perform "Bikur Holim" (visiting the sick), as Abraham was recovering from the painful procedure of circumcision. Of course, Hashem does not visit every ailing righteous person. Why, then, did He appear to Abraham Abinu at this time? The answer is provided in the continuation of the verse, which tells us that Abraham was sitting outside his tent, in the heat of the day, looking for wayfarers in need of hospitality. As Abraham made a special effort to involve himself in Hesed (kindness), he was worthy of beholding a revelation of G-d. This can be seen also in the Misva of Aliya Le'regel, which requires making a pilgrimage to the Bet Ha'mikdash every Pesah, Shabuot and Sukkot with special sacrifices. The Torah commands that on these three occasions, "Year'eh Kol Zechurcha" ("all your males shall be seen" by G-d), and the Gemara interprets the word "Yera'eh" to mean not only that we are seen by Hashem on these occasions, but also that we see Him. (The word "Yera'eh" can be read as "Yir'eh" – "will see.") However, the Torah adds, "Lo Yera'u Fanai Rekam" – we cannot come to the Bet Ha'mikdash on the festivals "emptyhanded." In order to behold the Shechina (Divine Presence), we must offer sacrifices. We earn the great privilege of seeing G-d's presence only by giving. For this reason, the Arizal (Rav Yishak Luria of Safed, 1534-1572) taught that nowadays, when we do not have the Bet Ha'mikdash, we must give charity before every Yom Tob. Just as we needed to bring sacrifices in the Bet Ha'mikdash to behold the Shechina on the holidays, nowadays we must give charity in order to have this special privilege. The Ba'al Shem Tob (1698-1760) taught that the Shechina descends upon a person when he gives charity because the Divine Name is symbolically formed through the act of giving. The small coin, or bill, which one gives represents the first letter of Hashem's Name, the letter "Yod." One takes the coin or bill in his hand, which has five fingers, and thus corresponds to the letter "Heh" (which has the numerical value of 5). The outstretched arm as one gives the money represents the tall, straight letter "Vav," and the needy person's hand which receives the charity symbolizes the final letter "Heh," thus spelling the Name of "Havaya" ("Yod"-"Heh"-"Vav"-"Heh"'). Therefore, by giving charity, we bring Hashem's presence. In light of this teaching, the Kabbalists instruct that if one is placing Sedaka money in a charity box, instead of giving it directly to a needy individual, he should first transfer the money from one hand to the other. If one is placing the money into a box, there is no final "Heh," as the recipient does not receive the money directly from the donor. Therefore, in order to form the final letter, one should move the money from one hand to the other and then place it in a box. This practice is alluded to in the verse which commands giving charity, "Naton Titen" ("you shall surely give" – Debarim 15:10). The phrase "Naton Titen" alludes to two acts of giving – moving the charity money from hand to the next, and then placing it in the Sedaka box. Moreover, the Kabbalists teach that in order to create the Name, one must initiate the process of giving. If one waits for the needy individual to come and outstretch his arm, requesting assistance, then the sequence of the letters is distorted. The Name must begin with the letter "Yod," which, as mentioned, corresponds to the money which one gives. Therefore, one must not wait for the person in need to come and ask for help, and should instead approach the poor person and outstretch his arm with the donation, in order to spell the Name the right way. This is alluded to in the aforementioned verse in Tehillim, in which David says, "Ani Be'sedek" – "I, through charity," referring to his initiating the donation of charity. The verse continues, "Esbe'a Be'hakitz Temunatecha" (literally, "I shall be satiated by Your image when I awaken"), which can be understood to mean that if we must be "awakened" by a needy person asking for help, rather than initiating the donation, then we see only "Temunatecha" – a vague image. If we give only after we are approached, then we form the Name, but the letters are jumbled, so we do not behold Hashem clearly. It is only when "Ani Be'sedek," when we initiate the giving of charity, that "Ehezeh Panecha," we see Hashem's countenance clearly. This verse also teaches us another vitally important concept relevant to charity. The Gemara tells that Rabbi Eliezer would make a point of giving charity before prayer, based on this verse in Tehillim – "Ani Be'sedek Eheze Fanecha," which could be read to mean that David came to "see G-d" in prayer after fulfilling the Misva of charity ("Be'sedek"). The great merit of this special Misva helps ensure the prayer's acceptance. Indeed, the Pele Yoetz (Rav Eliezer Papo, 1785-1828) writes that synagogues should place a charity box near the entrance so that everyone can give money to charity immediately upon entering. Even if not, one should try to at least set money aside for charity before each prayer, and this will help the prayer achieve the desired result. This concept may be explained in light of the Arizal's teaching that before one prays, he should declare that he accepts upon himself the Misva of "Ve'ahabta Le're'acha Kamocha" ("You shall love your fellow as yourself"), and proclaim his love for all his fellow Jews. This has been explained based on a parable of two brothers who lived in different countries, one of whom was very wealthy, and the other underprivileged. One day, the underprivileged brother decided to sell the little he had to fund a trip to his wealthy brother, certain that his brother would generously assist him. After the long, grueling journey, the impoverished man came to his brother's home and knocked on the door. "Who are you?" the brother asked. "What do you mean? I'm your brother." "Sorry, I have nothing for you. Good luck." He slammed the door. Sometime later, the wealthy brother went to visit his aging father, whom he had not seen in quite a while. When he arrived, he knocked on the door. The father opened the door and asked, "Who are you?" "Who am I?! I'm your son!" "If you don't recognize your brother as your brother," the father said, "then why should I consider you my son? If you're not his brother, then you're not my son." If we want a loving relationship with our father, then we need to treat our brothers like our brothers. When we pray, we come to G-d as a child coming before his loving father, asking for what we need. In order to do this, we must first affirm our commitment to fulfill the command of "Ve'ahabta Le're'acha Kamocha," to regard all our fellow Jews as our brothers – for only then can we come before G-d and say that we are His children. This is why it is important to give charity before prayer, too. By giving charity, we are showing that we care about our fellow Jews like our brothers. And once we have made it clear that they are all our brothers, we can then stand before Hashem and ask Him to care for us like a loving father.

She's had the organist. Now she wants the Vicar.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mia weakly raised her hand and switched off the shower."That was amazing, Gordy-pie. Organists really are good with their hands!""Not so bad yourself," he panted. "Wow. I enjoyed that immensely! You're quite a lass, Mia.""I'd like to see you play the organ," she said, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel."I need to get my breath back first!" He laughed, as Mia began playfully drying him off. "God, you're an eager little beaver aren't you?""Hee hee. Yes, but what I meant was, I'd like to see you play the church organ. I've not been inside a church for years. Jenna said that St Michael's is cool.""It's a nice church." I wonder what else she's told her? Gordon thought. "Why not come along to the Sunday service? You can see me in action there, so to speak. After the service, you can have a go on the organ if you'd like. Do you play any musical instruments?""Guitar and violin, but I've not practiced for ages.""Ah, so strings are your thing? That's good. It'd be nice to have a violinist in the choir. One of the choristers plays the trumpet. Which keeps him from singing and I'm glad of it as his voice is bloody awful."Mia sniggered. "You're funny, Gordy-pie. I really like you. Are all organists as fun as you?""Nay lass. I'm one of a kind. He pulled her close and kissed her neck and lips. He was an incredible kisser, and she was curious to know more about him."Are you married?""Long divorced," came his reply. "I'm married to the pipe organ, as they say." He wondered if Jenna had mentioned anything about their various liaisons over the past year, and was about to say something, when the bathroom door suddenly opened."Jen! Ever thought of knocking before entering?" Mia gasped, covering herself with a towel."I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" She turned to Gordon, who grinned sheepishly at her."Um, hello!""Funny place to have organ lessons, Gordon," Jenna said, as she watched him squirm."Gordy-pie was just showing me how good an organist is with his hands, weren't you?" Mia said, kissing him. "And you know what, he's amazing!""Oh I'm well aware of how good he is," Jenna replied, folding her arms.Sensing disapproval, Gordon attempted to explain. "It just happened. I didn't know your cousin was here," he prattled. "I put the plant pots in the yard, went into the kitchen and she was just there, wearing nothing but a towel!""You don't need to explain yourself, Gordy-pie. We've not done anything wrong," Mia said. "We're both single. Why are you so uptight, Jenna? Is it because we're in the vicarage? Is that like, a sin or something?"Jenna was in no position to claim the moral high ground. "No, no of course not. I was, just a bit surprised, that's all. It's fine. Just, try to be a bit more discreet, Mia. What if Simon had walked in?""Oh I'm sure the good reverend would approve," Gordon smiled, winking at her.The perceptive Mia noticed his gesture and wondered what he was hinting at."Jenna took a deep breath. "Okay, well I'm going to have a coffee. I'll leave you to get dressed. Do you want a drink, Gordon?""A tea would be lovely. I'm parched. Thanks!""I'll have tea as well, please." Mia added.Jenna left the bathroom."She's acting weird," Mia said. "There's something she's not telling me."Oh boy, wait until you find out, Gordon thought. Your mind will be blown."Maybe she's a bit envious!" Gordon said as he picked up his clothes, and wondered where his underpants had gone."Can I keep these, Gordy-pie?" Mia giggled, holding up his white briefs."Think they're too big for you!""I don't want to wear them. I want to keep them under my pillow and sniff them at night.""In that case, they're all yours! But I want your knickers in return!""Fair's fair!" She tossed him her pale pink cotton undies to him."Thanks!""I loved our shower time," Mia said, kissing him again. "And I loved your big cock. You're a sexy man, Gordy-pie.""Gordy-pie hopes Mia-pie can play with his organ again very soon!" the organist replied as they got dressed and headed downstairs.Jenna brought them both a cup of tea as they sat down in the lounge."Gordon, you're not going to put up with her calling you that cringey nickname are you?" she said, handing him the cup."I like it. It's cute," he said, as Mia rested her head on his shoulder."It's childish. If someone had called you that a year ago, you'd have bitten their head off. You used to have a terrible temper.""Ah well that was before I saw the light," he said, sipping his tea. "When you, showed me the way." He smiled at Jenna as she sat opposite them. "For that, you know I am forever grateful," he added."Did you become a born again Christian like Jenna, Gordy-pie?" Mia asked."I've always been a Christian," Gordon replied. "I just sin a lot, that's all. As we all do, right?" He raised an eyebrow at the vicar's wife. "But we keep praying for forgiveness every week, and luckily for us, God is the forgiving sort, eh?"The front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Good lord, I need a large brandy!" He gasped, tossing the car keys on the table."What I have seen, can't be unseen, and what I've heard, can't be unheard!""Whatever's the matter Simon?" Jenna said, standing up."You were right, Jen. Gladys Wilcox and the churchwarden. They're, at it!""Told you so," Jenna said. "Actual sex? I'm not being ageist but can Gladys manage that at her age?""No. Regular vanilla sex would've been easier to deal with. Actually, I think gerbilling would be easier to deal with. But seeing Norman, naked in her backyard, wearing a pinny and being struck on his arse with a riding crop,”Jenna cleared her throat, trying to silence him, given that they had company." She treats him like a slave and he enjoys it!" The vicar continued, unaware there was an audience. "And there's more. She knows about the storeroom threesome, and you won't believe this, she proudly told me, that sometime during Lent, she performed oral sex on Gordon.""Ahem. Simon, shush, we've got," Jenna cringed. "Wait, what? She gave Gordon oral?"Mia's jaw dropped."Sucked him off whilst he was sat at the church organ! She'd wanted him to be her slave, but he declined. So she set her sights on Norman instead. Well we both know Gordon prefers a younger woman, right?" He turned round, and noticed Gordon sat on the settee, and Mia sat next to him."Oh, good afternoon Gordon!""I brought those plant pots you wanted," the organist meekly uttered.Later,Jenna and Reverend Morris sat on the settee watching an episode of Father Brown, although neither were really paying attention to it."I can't get that image out of my head. Gladys giving Gordon a blowjob and whipping Norman's bare buttocks. I know we've, engaged in some naughtiness, but I never imagined one of the oldest members of the church was into that sort of thing!""Good for her," Jenna replied. "Kinkiness aside, it's nice for her to have Norman as a lodger. I mean, she lives alone and in this day and age, older people can feel vulnerable. I know Gladys misses her hubby a lot.""Oh Bert. Yes. He was dead long before I came to St Michaels. Bishop George told me more about him. He was the organist before Gordon took over. Apparently he was quite a character.""I'm sure he was. And the current organist seems to be going the same way.""Jen, you seem a bit unhappy about Gordon having intercourse with your cousin today. Is that because you're protective of her or because of, well, I know how close you are to him?"Jenna sighed. "Oh Simon. I'm ashamed of myself. I actually felt jealous when I saw the two of them together. How selfish is that? After everything you did for me last year when it was my birthday, and you gladly accepted my dalliances with the other male members of the church. Can you forgive me? I wish to say a prayer of forgiveness."The vicar took his wife's hands in his. "Of course I can, my love. And I understand how you feel. You see, with Mia here, I think you've got something you've never had to deal with before.""What's that?""A rival!"Mia was eavesdropping from the staircase. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she listened."Holy shit, Jenna's had more men than Elton John's had wigs. She had the nerve to have a go at me for seducing Tom. And she's slept with Gordon too? No wonder she looked so tense. Ha! And sweet, Reverend Simon is okay with that? That's not what it teaches in the Bible, surely?"She slipped back to her bedroom."Let us pray together," Reverend Morris said."Father, I return to You with my sins before me. Nowadays, I lack compassion for my brother and sisters, my eyes are clouded with wrongdoings my heart is against. Opposing Your Words, I sinned and done evil in Your eyes. I drained myself off Your kindness and followed my worldly desires. Father, guide me as You are right in Your verdict and justified in Your judgment. Do not leave me astray as I pray for a blissful life with You and a life free of evil. In Your Mercy, I pray.Amen."-(Luke 15:18, Psalm 51:3-4)"I feel better," Jenna said, opening her eyes. She ran a finger down her husband's cheek. "Simon, let's go to bed. Mia's asleep. The guest bedroom is right at the other end of the landing. She won't hear us. Tonight I need my Vicar's touch,”"What a good idea! All this talk of Gladys Wilcox getting her hands on men's dicks, I'd quite like some hands on mine!"A Girl With FantasiesMia lay back on the bed in the darkness, her mind buzzing with the events of the day. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out the pair of Gordon's briefs."Enjoyed you, Gordy-pie! You were a total sweetie."She sighed, pressing the crotch of the underwear against her nose and inhaling deeply, whilst fingering herself with her other hand. Gordon's undies bore a pleasant, musky, manly scent, a faint mark which she assumed was pre-cum, and a couple of wiry grey pubic hairs. Perfect. Knowing that the organist's thick cock had been snugly contained within was enough to make her climax again. She wondered if he was wanking off and sniffing her knickers."Hope he likes mine too." She wanted to see the organist again, as sex with him had been amazing, but Mia had her sights set on a bigger prize - and this one wore a clerical collar.InsomniaGordon was in bed, but having difficulty sleeping. His mind was a complete whirl. He reflected how in the past year, he'd gone from being completely sex-starved, to having more sex than he'd ever had during a whole fifteen years of marriage, and during his late teens, when he'd been a horny youth, desperate to sleep with any woman. In the Eighties, those halcyon pre-Internet days, just stumbling across a discarded porn magazine in the bushes was more valuable than gold. He remembered his time at university, when he used to spy on the nurses undressing at a nearby hospital.He chuckled as he remembered losing his virginity to his piano teacher - whilst she was giving him a tour of Blackpool Tower ballroom. He credited her with starting his interest in wanting to play organs,"Look at me now," he said out loud. "I got seduced by a woman young enough to be my daughter. Who is now the vicar's wife. I fucked a Ukrainian woman in the church. I've been fucking the vicar's wife every week in the church. I took part in a threesome with her and the vicar. I and several other men gave her a facial in the church. I got my dick sucked by an eighty-six year old pensioner too. Now I'm fucking the eighteen-year old cousin of the vicar's wife, and exchanging underwear with her."He reached for the pair of pink knickers and gave them a good sniff, stroking his cock at the same time. The crotch had dried, but earlier it had been wet and sticky with Mia's pussy juices. A heavenly scent."The world is a bloody mess right now, but I'd say my life is pretty good," he smiled. "I hope Mia wants to see me again. She's a lovely, horny little thing. I hope she comes to church this Sunday."He wanked himself off happily, before slipping into a blissful slumber. For the first time in a year, he dreamt of a woman other than Jenna.Mia's DelightMia was edging closer to an orgasm as she continued to pleasure herself. Gordon's briefs pressed against her face were having the desired effect, but oh, God, she wished she had a large dildo as well. Her sopping pussy was aching to be filled again.Hearing muffled laughter on the landing, brought her back to her senses. The sound of a bedroom door closing. More laughter.She slid off the bed and wiped her hand on her t-shirt. Tiptoeing to the door, she opened it, and listened. The inky darkness of the landing was disturbed by a light under Jenna's bedroom door.With the stealth of a cat, Mia slunk down the landing. Standing in front of the door, the sounds from within were clearer. The creak of a bedframe. The headboard bumping against the wall. The low moans of the reverend, followed by the higher pitched gasps of Jenna.She bit her lip as she listened to their carnal sounds. Squinting, she peered through the keyhole. The tiny opening barely allowed an interested voyeur to see a thing, but just briefly, she glimpsed Reverend Morris' bare backside rising and falling. Lying between her cousin's legs which, likewise entirely bare, were extended straight upwards into the air."Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna, in, the, Highest Heavens!" Reverend Morris yelled, to which Jenna responded by screaming in ecstasy.Mia clamped her hand against her mouth to stifle a laugh. At the same time, her pussy tingled like crazy. That the good vicar quoted Biblical phrases during sex, turned her on in a way she never expected."I am coming soon! Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown!"This quote from the Book of Revelation proved too much, and seconds later, Jenna climaxed, with a scream.Mia tried to remain silent as she too, came. With a wildly beating heart, she shuffled back to her bedroom."I want him. I want Reverend Morris to fuck me like that."Reverend Morris is seduced, but can he satisfy her?Lightning flashed, followed by a crash of thunder so powerful it rattled the kitchen windows. The storm began not with a sprinkle or drizzle but with a sudden downpour, as if clouds were hollow structures that could shatter like eggshells and spill their entire contents at once. So far, July was proving far less flaming than June."Blimey," Reverend Morris said, as the rain made him look up from his laptop. "Not a good start to Mia's first day in her new job, is it?""A bit of summer rain won't bother her," Jenna replied. "Her mind's probably fixated on Gordon.""Heh, give her some credit, Jen. She's shown initiative. I think she'll work hard and be a good cleaner for the church. She did an excellent job tidying up our kitchen.""That's true. She should be about finished in around twenty minutes. Ten hours a week isn't much. I wonder what her long-term plans are? I mean, she can't clean the church hall toilets for the rest of her life can she? And I must phone Aunt Kathleen, I keep putting it off. She'll go berserk when she finds out what's happened."Reverend Morris sipped his coffee. "Have faith in her, Jen. She's chosen this path for herself. And as my dad always says, never put off until tomorrow what can be done today. Right, I have to pop over to the church. I'll check in on Mia and see if she's okay with setting the alarm system. Don't know if she wants some lunch with us or if she has plans of her own?"Jenna picked up the phone. "She didn't say. Okay, I'm going to bite the bullet and phone Aunt Kathleen."In the church hall, Jenna had finished using the floor-polishing machine on the wooden floor. The two hours had flown by. As well as making the floor spotless after this morning's yoga class, she'd cleaned the toilets and emptied the bins. The work was boring, as the vicar had warned her, but an absolute doddle. For £12 an hour, she couldn't complain. It was the easiest cash she'd ever earned. It was far better than stacking shelves in Aldi and having to deal with abusive members of the public. The church toilets hadn't been the horror show she'd braced herself for - even the gents were reasonable. The good chaps of St Michaels had good manners and good aim it would seem!Outside, more thunder boomed. The sound of the rain. The rain. The cold merciless sound of the rain."Ugh," Mia muttered, looking out of the window. "I hate weather like this."It was typical British weather. The storm had washed all the color out of the day. The sky was as charry as burnt-out ruins. Wind-driven rain, grey as iron nails, hammered every surface, and road gutters overflowed with filthy water.Mia returned the machine to the store cupboard and locked it. She checked her phone. Nearly 1 o'clock.The sound of the main door opening made her jump."Oh Reverend Simon!""Hello Mia. Just checking to see how you're getting on. Have you finished?""Yes, I'm done. I was just going to set the alarm thingy." She noticed how wet his black shirt was."Great stuff, you're okay with setting it?""Oh no worries there.""Little tip if you're working in the hall by yourself, be sure to lock the main door. Anyone could walk in. We're lucky we don't get a lot of crime round here, but for your own safety, it's best to lock yourself in. There are lots of places someone could hide. Right, well I'm just heading into the church to sort a few things out ready for the curate's ordination on Sunday. Jenna's prepared some lunch if you're hungry, oh and be warned, she's phoning your mum.""What? Oh no! Why's she doing that?" Mia pouted."Look, don't panic, she's just letting her know that your safe and well and staying with us. You don't want your poor parents to be worrying themselves to death not knowing where you've gone do you?""Well no. But I don't want Mum turning up.""I don't think you need to worry. Your mum lives in Buxton doesn't she? That's a good fifty miles from here. I don't think she'll drive up here today. But at some point you'll have to speak to her."Mia looked down. "I like it here. I don't want to go back to my parents. Of course, I don't want to be a burden to you,”"You're no burden Mia, please don't think that. If you want to talk, why not join me in the church when you've finished locking up?" He left the hall and Mia took that as an open invitation."Oh I'll join you, Vicar, but I want to do more than talk!"A few minutes later, having successfully set the alarm, Mia dashed over to the church, trying to avoid getting soaked by the rain. The ancient oak door's handle turned stubbornly. She wondered why Reverend Morris hadn't bothered to lock himself in either, then she remembered something Jenna had said about the church "always having to be open for those in need."And Mia was in need all right.Reverend Morris was in the vestry, having just changed out of his damp shirt and into a dry one. He'd donned his regular cassock and surplice, as he always did when in the church, even though he was off duty. He inspected the row of church vestments on the clothes rail. Some items were missing. Some members of the choir weren't the tidiest, and often neglected to hang their surplices back up after the services.Mia walked down the aisle of St Michael's church, glancing round. The incessant pounding of rain on the roof seemed magnified here in this old, airy building. Then the organ pipes to the right of the altar caught her eye. The highly-polished silver colored pipes reflected what little light was shining through the stained glass windows."Impressive," she muttered, admiring the many pipes. "But where are its, keyboards? No wait, manuals. He called them manuals." She looked round, and noticed the organ console behind the pulpit."Ah!"Mia walked over to it. She ran her hand down the wooden stool. "So this is where Gordy-pie sits." Giving a little mischievous giggle, she looked round. There was no sign of Reverend Morris anywhere, so she slid herself onto the stool."Look at this thing. It's like, unreal. All these buttons and stuff It's like a flight deck." Her feet touched the organ's pedalboard. "How the hell does he remember all these? She looked closely at some of the stops. They all had weird-sounding names on them. Diapason, Mixture, Gemshorn."I wonder what these knobs do?" She switched on the small lamp above the manuals, in order to get a better look.Curiosity got the better of her and she fiddled with a couple of stops and pressed a few keys on the lower manual. Nothing happened, seeing as the organ was switched off."Hmm, must be like an electronic piano." She idly pressed down several more keys, pretending to play."Witness the great maestro Mia at work," she said out loud, putting on a fake Geordie accent to mimic presenters, Ant and Dec. "Here on Britain's Got Talent, Mia will now play some of her favorite songs for the audience. Starting with Titanium by David Guetta!" She flung her arms around, as though conducting an orchestra, and accidentally hit the red on/off button above the manuals."This is being live-streamed. Be sure to vote!" Mia slammed her fingers down hard on the middle manual. "I am Titanium!"The organ responded at once, with a deep, radiant sound that seemed to rattle the entire foundations of the church. It was so loud, the stool seemed to vibrate."Shit!!" Mia gasped as she got the shock of her life. Fearing she'd damaged the organ, she panicked and froze on the spot.In the vestry, Reverend Morris had finished re-arranging the vestments, when the booming note from the organ shattered his peace and quiet."What the," He almost jumped out of his skin. "Bloody hell, Gordon. You sure pick your moments to come and practice."When nothing but silence followed that ear-splitting note, he headed out of the vestry to investigate.Mia's fingers were trembling. "Fuck, what did I do?""Well, well. What do we have here?" Reverend Morris chuckled as he appeared beside the console."Eep! I didn't mean to, Simon. I was just, I,”"Ha, it's alright, don't panic!" He said."I caught something and it made that noise.""You managed to switch it on, that's all!" He indicated the red button."Oh, so it's not broken then?" Mia said, getting her breath back."No, of course not. It's seen a lot of heavy use. It can cope with a lot!""It looks so complicated. How does Gordon play it?""With ease, because he's had years of practice. Jenna's just learned to play it, and said how hard it was. No use asking me. I haven't a clue. I'm not musically talented it all. In fact I'll tell you something. I can't even read music.""Really?" Mia replied."I'm hopeless," the vicar continued. "Jenna's tried to introduce me to the piano, but I've got poor co-ordination. My fingers go all over the place. My attempts sounded like Les Dawson."Mia blinked. "Who?""Never mind. He's from before your time." He pressed down a couple of the organ's keys and made a feeble attempt at playing a few notes."Gordon says you have to use your whole body when playing a pipe organ." Mia said, giving him a dreamy grin."He's right, you do.""Do you have to use your whole body when preaching to the congregation, Simon?""Ah, well that depends," he said, switching off the organ and the lamp. "I definitely have to keep my mind focused. Especially during the sermon.""I can imagine. I bet you're amazing. I like your church robes.""Oh thanks! It's called a cassock and surplice. Um, why not come to the Sunday service if you're curious? You don't need to take communion if you're not comfortable.""I've been confirmed," Mia replied. "I'm okay with that.""It's the curate's ordination service on Sunday afternoon too. "That will be quite a spectacle. The Bishop will be performing the ceremony. We're expecting lots of people to attend. Afterwards there'll be a buffet in the hall. Nice social occasion. There'll be more people your own age there."Mia shrugged. "I'm not mad keen on people my own age," she said."I see. Well, Gordon will be there, so that's a reason to attend, surely?" Reverend Morris cleared his throat. "You like him a lot, don't you?""Oh yes. He is lovely. He's really sexy! But you know what? You're sexy too. I hope it's not a sin to compliment a vicar in church?"The flustered reverend's cheeks turned pink. "Oh not at all! Very kind of you to say, Mia."Yes, very sexy,” she purred, and without hesitating, stood up and kissed him on the lips."M-Mia, what are you doing?" Reverend Morris spluttered, backing away.She ignored his question and slipped her arms round his shoulders. "I am worshipping you, Reverend Simon. Like I said, I think you're really sexy,”"B-but, but, I am a married man!" He stammered.Mia breathed in the scent of his aftershave. "And? Jenna's a married woman, yet she seems to have slept with half of the men of this church. And you're like, okay with that?""Did Jenna tell you all this?" He gasped. This time, he made no attempt to free himself from her grasp."She didn't need to. I overheard.""You shouldn't eavesdrop, Mia.""Yes I know, but come on. Seriously? What kind of open marriage do you guys have? Is that church rules or something? How can you be cool with that?"Reverend Morris still made no attempt to move. "Well it's not like you think. I love Jenna so much. I just fell for her big time. She had quite effect on the men of this church when she first started attending, not just me. I was trapped in a sexless marriage at the time. I er, thought the first time we had sex, it was a wild one-off."This explanation failed to satisfy Mia. "And Gordon?""The thing with Gordon, well before Jenna came along, he was a very unhappy, angry man. She made him feel happier than he had been in years. And the choir were beyond grateful for his change in personality, let me tell you.""I see. So Jen just has this natural talent for seducing all these lonely men and cheering them up? A gift from God? In that case, what I'm doing isn't a sin then is it?"She kissed the vicar again, longer and harder."Mia, wait!" He protested. "I can't,”"Of course you can, Reverend Simon. "You've been so kind to me, letting me stay at the vicarage and getting me this job. It's time I repaid that kindness.""Yes, but, I thought you liked Gordon!""I do like Gordon. I just like you too. Don't you find me attractive, just like you find Jenna attractive?"He would've been lying if he'd said no, and his erection was already proof."Yes. You're beautiful," Reverend Morris said, running a finger down her cheek. "Such smooth skin,” Instinctively, he bent down and pressed his lips against hers."Heavenly,”Mia unbuttoned her top, and guided his hands to her small and beautiful tits for him to squeeze and play with."Give me a blessing, Reverend," Mia whispered.The vicar took her hand, led her into the vestry and quoted a passage from Numbers."May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord's face shine upon you and be gracious to you, may the Lord turn his face to you and bring you peace.""Amen," Mia said. After a brief silence, something seemed to snap in Reverend Morris, and he cast off his reluctance."Let me get your legs," he whispered, his voice quavering a bit with sexual tension.Stroking from the knee down, to start. Then Mia felt his holy hands open and slide up the back of her thighs, pushing her skirt up."Spread your legs a bit."His thumbs caressed her inner thigh, and came close, oh so close to her pussy. She wasn't wearing any underwear and he bent down to smell her sex. His thumbs tantalizingly close. Now his hands were on her arse. Seductive massage, strokes, and squeezes nearly sent Mia over the edge. She moaned."Oh yes," he breathed. "Praise the Lord,”Mia's hands roamed across his surplice, and her eagerness surprised him. "Hold on a sec," he said, removing the garment, and starting to unbutton his cassock. When it was open, his black trousers were revealed, along with a straining bulge. She squeezed his hard arse cheeks and pulled him against her. His cock throbbed. Mia unfastened his belt and unzipped his trousers. Seconds later, she pulled his boxer shorts down.He groaned when she took his hot cock into her warm hand, cupping his balls with her other. His cock was thick and of decent length, though not, she noted as big as Gordon's or Tom's. Gordon's was the biggest of the lot. Mia couldn't help be a little disappointed, though of course what one did with something was what counted, not the size.I wonder if this is why Jenna goes with all the other church guys, because Reverend Simon just isn't enough to satisfy her? She thought."Mia, I can't hold back, do you want me to bless you properly or not?""Yes Reverend Simon, I want you to purify me! I need you to fuck me!"Mia wrapped her leg around him, opening up for his cock. He rubbed the head of it on her clit. Reverend Morris was out of control now and she let him take her how he wanted. He entered her and pounded her hard on the vestry's small wooden table.Mia rode his cock and enjoyed his thrusts, but, as good as it felt, the vicar wasn't satisfying her in the way Gordon had done.How can this be? She thought, as her cousin's husband continued thrusting fast and hard into her, grunting as he did so.It must be because he's just not old enough for me, she mused. After all, he's only forty! Still, I've achieved what I wanted to do. I wanted to experience sex with a vicar, and a married one at that. And I've finally got my own back on Jenna after all these years,"Oh Mia I'm cumming!" Reverend Morris slammed into her for one last time and shot his load deep inside her."Well,” Reverend Morris said, after he'd got his breath back. "I hope you enjoyed that Mia. I certainly did, I can't believe I did that."Mia was about to say something, but at that moment, the vestry door opened and Jenna appeared.For a few moments there was nothing but stunned silence."Mia, why? Why Simon?""Now we're even, Jen," Mia said with a wink."Even?""Remember all those years ago when we were at primary school and I was in love with that older boy, Darren Grimshaw?""Er, what?""You knew how much I fancied him.""Mia, you were only ten at the time. You had a bit of an innocent crush.""Well at the time it felt like true love. And you had to muscle in and ruin it. He took you out to Burger King instead of asking me. I was so upset at the time. I vowed that one day, I'd get my own back!""Uh, yeah. I do remember you saying that, now I recall. So, this is your idea of getting your own back, is it? Seducing my husband, in his church?""Jen, you can't really complain. You've seduced half the men of this church!"Reverend Morris looked sheepishly at them both. "Look, I didn't say anything, she overheard us talking!"Jenna took a deep breath. "You're right, Mia. Guess I'm nothing but a hypocrite there. But where do we go from here?"Mia turned to Reverend Morris. "I've seen the light. And had a revelation. And the truth is, vicars just don't float my boat after all. No offence, Reverend Simon. You were really great. But, you're too young for me. Give me a gorgeous older organist any day! I've already found my perfect man and his name is Gordon!""Lucky Gordon," Jenna said at last."Jen, I want you to promise me one thing. I'll never lay a finger on your vicar again, if you'll promise not to get it on with Gordon again."Jenna's face suddenly fell. "What?"Reverend Morris nodded. "Fair's fair, Jen. And you don't need any more organ lessons - you can play the organ perfectly fine now."Jenna thought for a moment, remembering all the fun times she'd had with Gordon - they'd engaged in some fantastic sex over the past year, and at Easter, she'd got the impression his feelings were becoming stronger than just mere lust."Okay, I promise.""Make it a proper promise. We're in church, remember?""In the name of God, I promise," Jenna said."That's better.""Right, now that we've got that out of the way, how about we all go and have some lunch?" Reverend Morris said, fastening his trousers and belt. "I've worked up quite an appetite!"Jenna shook her head as she watched Mia head down the church aisle in front of them."Is she seriously going to ask Gordon to be her boyfriend? He's so much older than her.""Just like I am to you," Reverend Morris replied."Yes but it's double the age gap that we have. What if Mia wants kids ten years from now? Gordon will be in his mid-sixties! He doesn't have any kids of his own. Can you see him being a dad?""I think he'd be a great dad. You're assuming Mia will want to be a mum. Lots of women choose not to have children these days.""Guess you're right.""Isn't it great, all the people of our church and nearby churches have met someone? I've got you, Josh has hooked up with Yulia. Father Aiden has Róisín. Norman's moved in with Gladys, now there's an odd couple, but they're happy! My ex-wife Lucy married Debbie. Gordon's got your cousin, before you arrived, all these people were unhappy. I'd say your work is done, my love!"They walked down the aisle, hand in hand.Privately, however, Jenna smirked to herself."My work isn't fully done. At least I still have Bishop George, Gordon's cousin Barry, Mayor Buckingham and a few other chaps!"By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Jenna's teenage cousin turns up at the vicarage.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It was the second Sunday after Trinity. Over at St Michael's vicarage, the morning Eucharist had finished and Reverend Morris and his wife Jenna were discussing the upcoming events in the church calendar."Josh gets ordained next month, so that'll be a fun occasion. Big party over at his place. He's so excited for that day to come. It's been remarkable how he's come out of his shell. When he joined our church as curate a year ago, he was so nervous and shy. Now look at him." Reverend Morris said."He's a real asset to the church," Jenna replied, sipping a coffee, as she read through the church newsletter. "I like to think that I, helped build up his confidence a bit.""Oh you certainly did, I'm sure," the vicar said, oblivious to what his wife was referring to. "Now, apart from that big event, there's not much happening in July. I'm adding the study of the Book of Exodus in the services. Last year's summer study of Genesis went down a treat,”The sound of the doorbell interrupted him."I wonder who that can be?" Reverend Morris said, hurrying out of the living room. "If it's Gordon, he's early. He said he would call round at 2."He opened the front door. A slim young woman around eighteen or nineteen, stood on the doorstep. Brunette hair that was in pigtails. Huge brown eyes like Bambi. She was dressed in a low cut pink peasant top, tight cow-print shorts and ballet shoes. By her side was a suitcase and hold-all."Hello. Can I help you?" Reverend Morris said."Um," the woman began, in a nervous voice. "Mr., um, Reverend Morris. Is, Jenna in? I'm Mia, her cousin.""Oh really? Gosh, well do come in, you're very welcome! You look loaded up there, let me give you a hand." He ushered her inside and carried her luggage."Jen! You've got a visitor!"Jenna looked up and her eyes widened. "Mia?""Hello CJ," Mia said, with a sheepish grin.Reverend Morris blinked."Cousin Jenna," Jenna replied."Ah," He understood."What are you doing here? Last I heard you were at Salford uni.""It's a long story," Mia sighed, as Reverend Morris gestured for her to sit on the settee. "Um, I quit.""Oh no," Jenna said. "What happened?""Oh Jen, it was awful. I just couldn't settle into university life at all. I made a mistake choosing that Art and Design course. It wasn't for me. The lectures stressed me out, but worst of all was the bullying." She dabbed at imaginary tears in her eyes with a tissue. "Nine months and I just couldn't cope with it any longer, so I jacked it in."Jenna was about to say something, but her husband cut in."You poor thing. God, if there's one thing I hate, it's bullying. Sad that it occurs in all walks of life. A nasty part of human nature."Noticing the reverend had been completely taken in by Mia's story, Jenna cleared her throat. "What did your parents say?"There was an awkward pause."You haven't told them, have you?""Are you serious Jen? Mum will go nuclear if she finds out. I'm just not ready to deal with that, yet. She was so proud when I got in that place. Dad will be more understanding but, look, I have a favor to ask. Can I stay with you for, a bit? I used up my last bit of cash on the train fare. I'm broke and I have nowhere to stay. I can't face going back to my parents. They'll treat me like a kid. Please? I won't be any bother. I'll do housework for you, I'll,”"Of course you can stay!" Reverend Morris smiled. "Our vicarage is always available to those who need it. We have a spare bedroom." He turned to Jenna. "We had Bishop George staying with us during Lent, remember? I'm sure your cousin can't be a worse lodger than him. She looks like she's gone through a tough few months."Powerless to refuse, Jenna reluctantly agreed. Oh Simon, you sweet, naive man. You have no idea what you're letting yourself in for! She thought."Oh you mean it? I can stay? Oh; thank you so much, Reverend!""Simon. You can call me Simon!" Reverend Morris replied. "It's nice to finally get to meet you, Mia. I know you and Jenna drifted apart a bit when your parents moved, but it's so nice when relatives reunite, isn't it?" the reverend said as he went to pick up the luggage."If only everyone could be as nice as you and Jenna!" Mia gushed.Jenna pulled a face at her cousin and whispered to her. "You are so dead, cousin!""Right, well, I'll introduce you to your new room!” Simon said as he returned holding all the bags. “This way! I'll carry your stuff for you." Reverend Morris carried up the suitcase and hold-all."Your hubby is a total gent," Mia whispered to Jenna."Oh, you might be able to fool him, but you're not fooling me," Jenna replied. "As soon as he's gone out later, you are going to tell me everything."Reverend Morris led Mia upstairs and down the long landing. Mia walked right by his side looking something between an infatuated schoolgirl gazing at her crush and a timid little lamb sticking close to the shepherd. At eighteen, Mia was very aware of the effect she had on men. Her Bambi eyes, teamed with the brunette hair, gave her an innocent look that convinced boys and men alike that she couldn't possibly know what effect she was having on them. But she knew quite well, and she loved the things she could get by putting her skills to good use."Here we are," Reverend Morris said, opening the bedroom door at the end. "It's not massive, but it's got a pleasant view overlooking the garden."Mia walked in. The room was nicely decorated. Instead of the usual neutral color scheme of magnolia, the walls were painted in very pale blue, with white ceiling and a sandy colored carpet. Instead of curtains, a white window blind, as was the current trend. A single bed, chest of drawers and ladder desk and chair made up the furniture."I don't know why I painted this room blue, it always looks so cold, and it doesn't really match the carpet. No wardrobe, but there's a full chest of drawers and the bed is a divan, with two storage compartments you can put your bits and bobs in. There's a hook on the back of the door if you need to hang some clothes up.""Oh I love it!" Mia said, smiling at him. "It's like being at the beach. The floor is sand and the walls are the sea. It's so restful and appealing. Really brings out my creative side. I think I could do lots of painting and drawing in here.""I'm glad you like it. Jenna and I want you to feel comfortable and safe here. Charity is so important to Christians like us.""Oh yes, I understand Rev, um, Simon. And I am so grateful. Um, do I have to start going to church? I mean I was raised in a Christian home but I sort of drifted,” Mia said, giving him a coquettish look.""Ha, no worries! We're not going to force you to attend a Sunday service or anything so relax. Whether you're a believer or not, everyone is catered for in our vicarage. We don't judge.""Jenna told me that your church is a nice one," Mia said, gazing at the reverend. He's rather average in looks but this guy is a total sweetie I can tell. Not an ounce of malice in him. Jenna's really landed on her feet with this one."She's right! St Michael's is a lovely place of worship. I'm very honored to be its vicar. Of course it wasn't always like that, but I like to think that I've really turned things round and made a difference. I credit Jenna for helping me in, many ways," he continued, and Mia noted the pause.Wonder what he means by that? She thought.He continued. "I took over in 2019 after the sudden death of the previous vicar, Reverend Smith. Talk about being thrown in at the deep end. Only a few months later, the pandemic happened. What a stressful time that was."Mia nodded patiently."Sorry, I'm prattling on! I'll leave you to get sorted out. I talk too much. Always in sermon mode,”"That's alright, Simon. I'm sure your sermons are really interesting." Mia said, flattering him some more."Ah well, haven't heard too many snores in the aisles of late.""I really appreciate you helping me like this," Mia said, sitting on the bed. "I just don't know how I was going to cope. And I want to pay my way. I suppose I'll have to apply for Universal Credit. What with the cost of living crisis and everything. Not sure if there are any jobs going in this town? I don't know this area at all and I can't drive,”"One step at a time, Mia. let's get you settled in first.""I really do want to work. Is there anything I could do at your church?"Reverend Morris scratched the back of his head and sat down next to her."Well, it's mostly volunteer work there, which is no good when you need an income, oh wait a minute, Norman the churchwarden mentioned that the church hall needs a cleaner, 10 hours a week. It's only a five minute walk from here. We had one of the Sunday school teacher's lads doing it, but I confess he rarely turned up and was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. I was disappointed in Jordan, as the pay was pretty good for an entry-level job.""I'll do that job! I'd love to do that!" Mia said. "Oh please say yes!""Hmm, well let me talk it over with Jenna first, and Norman. Cleaning is a bit boring. You'd be required to put out chairs and tables too. They're only lightweight folding ones, so no dangerous lifting of heavy stuff or anything. But Norman will be able to tell you more about what's involved. We have a lot of functions held in the hall, not just church stuff. Monday is badminton class. Tuesday it's the over-60s hot yoga. Wednesday is the midweek eucharist, so it's tea and coffee morning. Thursday and Friday you get two days off as nothing happens then. Saturday is the local amateur dramatics group. Oh and Sunday, the most important day of all, is the main service at church, and a social gathering afterwards.""Oh I just love cleaning up," Mia said. "Tidiness is good for mental health you know. It keeps your mind occupied." She slid a bit closer to him."You're really enthusiastic aren't you?" Well If your heart's set on it, I'm sure I can pull a few strings and get you in. Don't want you to feel like your talents are being wasted in what I consider to be just a casual job though.""To be honest, I never had any idea what I wanted to do when I left school," Mia continued. "I never wanted to go to uni. I feel like such a failure for quitting.""Don't put yourself down," he said, reassuring her. "Sometimes God has a different path for us. And you can't stay somewhere that's making you unhappy. It takes guts to break away from a path that someone else has set for you. I can tell you have a great attitude. Your talents obviously lie elsewhere. In time, I'm sure you'll find something you truly excel at.""I do hope so," Mia said, pouting at him. She leaned in closer, but the moment was broken by the sound of the landline phone ringing downstairs."Oh that reminds me, I need to call on one of the flock." He stood up. "I'll leave you to unpack Mia. If you need anything, I'm sure Jenna can assist you. I have to go out. I'll see you later. Take care!"He hurried out of the bedroom."I think I'm gonna love it here," Mia giggled to herself. "I think I need to, repair my relationship with God." She gave the most mischievous of grins as she flopped back in bed."But I also plan on sinning, a lot!"Reverend Morris rushed down the stairs."That was the garage on the phone," Jenna said, putting down the receiver. "My car's passed its MOT and ready to be collected.""Great. I'll drop you off there as I just remembered I promised Gladys Wilcox I'd take her a copy of that paperback I recommended at last week's service. Hills of the North by Jenny Talwartz." He rummaged around on the coffee table and held up the book in question. "A thrilling tale set in rural England, about passion, blackmail and a woman's fulfilling journey to find romance and regain her faith.""Sounds a good one.""It got rave reviews on Amazon. I was worried it might be a bit too racy for some of the older members of the congregation. I haven't had chance to read it yet but apparently it contains violence and several sex scenes.""Right up Gladys Wilcox's alley I'd say," Jenna replied, grinning. "I keep telling you, there's something kinky going on between her and the churchwarden. Okay, give me five minutes, and I'll be ready. Need to have a quick word with our non-paying guest.""You're alright with her staying, aren't you? Sorry, I tend to just dive in and say yes to everything. Your cousin seems like such a lovely person.""I don't mind, but she's not the innocent little thing you think she is," Jenna said. "Oh she's not a criminal or anything, but she can be a bit, indiscreet at times.""Aren't we all a bit like that at eighteen? Not much life experience to fall back on.""Hmm, I suppose. I will phone Aunt Kathleen later and let her know that Mia's staying here. I'd better prepare to gently break the bad news that her daughter won't be getting those letters after her name."Mia was admiring herself in the wall mirror when Jenna came in, and closed the bedroom door."Alright you. Now how about giving me the whole truth about why you quit uni? You're good, but your acting skills need work. Better make it quick as Simon's waiting to give me a lift to the garage, so spill."The brunette took a deep breath. "Alright. Look, don't give me too much grief. I did something wrong and that's why I had to quit.""What happened?""I seduced my lecturer and slept with him."She gasped. "You did what?" After the initial shock, Jenna couldn't help but admire her cousin's brazen attitude. Seeing as she herself had seduced several men from the church, plus a former Catholic priest, and most recently, the town mayor. Not to mention there were her weekly "organ lessons" with Gordon,"So he was old enough to be my dad. Maybe grandad. He was like, late fifties or something. But he was so hot. Older men really turn me on. You must know how that feels. I mean, your husband is way older than you, right?""Yeah. I'm twenty-one and he's forty." Jenna admitted. "Eighteen and late fifties is one hell of an age gap though.""I know. Oh but Jen. Tom was such a sexy man. Just the type I like. He was a smoker, but not a heavy one. Kind of used to turn me on, smelling smoke on his breath. It added to the attraction, as weird as that sounds. The sex was amazing. Older men are just sexier,”Jenna gave a dreamy sigh. "Yep they are. Can't disagree with you there. Realizing she suddenly had a lot more in common with her cousin, she sat down next to her. "Tell me more about Tom."And so Mia gave her chapter and verse on her spicy adventures at Salford."Stood in the art room, I was backlit by the bright front windows behind me. By kneeling down to waist level, he could see through the now semi-transparent material of my dress and get a look at the curves of my body underneath it. I told myself that I was grossed out, and that it was disgusting, but the idea that this older man wanted to see my knickers made my heart beat fast, I masturbated to the idea of Tom looking at me and his cock getting hard in his underpants, and as I later found out, he had a lovely big cock.""Wow," Jenna said, feeling herself getting quite wet."Jenna! Are you coming?" Reverend Morris shouted."Oh! Er yes! Just a minute! I have to go out and collect my car from the garage. I won't be long. You'll be okay whilst I'm gone won't you?""You sound like Mum.""Sorry. I'll see you later then. Make yourself a brew or something. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen but if you touch Simon's beloved brandy, you'll be reciting some prayers of forgiveness!" Jenna said with a wink."I'll be good. Honest. Can I have a shower please? After that long journey I feel gross. It was hot and smelly in the train. A fat lad sat behind me kept farting.""Yes of course. Bathroom's the second on the right."A few minutes later, Mia was taking full advantage of the newly-installed power shower at the vicarage. As the hot water caressed her young body, she closed her eyes and ran her hands over her smooth skin, losing herself in the sensation. A smile played across her face as her hands cupped her small, pert breasts and gave the nipples a quick tweak. She sucked in a breath and bit her lip as those wandering hands traveled lower, finding the treasure between her legs. The sensations were nice, but when she imagined someone watching her doing these things, her clit began to throb with need."Oh Tom. I miss you."On the other side of town, Gordon was loading some ceramic plant pots into the boot of his car. He was glad to be offloading these unwanted pots on the vicar. With their massive garden, they'd be put to good use. Plus, Gordon could never refuse an opportunity to see the gorgeous Jenna.In the shower, Mia leaned against the wall, eyes closed, and fingered her tingling clit. She was lost in a fantasy.Praise the Lord! Reverend Morris returns unexpectedly, before Jenna does. He walks in and finds me here. Instead of turning away, he unzips his trousers. I happily comply, straight away, by parting my legs, bending over and thrusting my arse into his groin so he can tear off my underwear- if I was wearing any (which is hardly ever) - and he rams his whole ten inches (I assume he's well-endowed) of hard, holy cock right into my hot, tight snatch, fuck yes!Gordon arrived at the vicarage, and failed to notice the lack of cars on the driveway. His mind was too focused on Jenna. Being so familiar with the house's occupants, he didn't even knock these days, but just walked in. Gordon had never been known for restraint, but Reverend Morris didn't seem to mind."Hello? Anyone in? I'm early." He shouted. No reply. Maybe they were in the back garden. He shrugged and carried the pots into the house.Mia had finished her shower and was just wrapping a towel round herself when she heard Gordon's voice.Then the sound of the back door opening was heard."Shit, who's that?"Mia opened the bathroom window and peered out. She noticed Gordon placing the plant pots in the yard."Wonder if he's a delivery guy?"Gordon looked round and scratched his head. It was obvious now that Jenna and the reverend weren't in. He pulled out his smartphone.Mia continued to observe him, finally getting a good look at his face."He looks a bit like Tom! Oh my God!" She watched him call someone."Hi Jen, it's your favorite organist here. Just letting you know that I've arrived at your place with the pots, what's that? Sorry, it's a bad line, oh you're at the garage? Right, I see, sure, no problem.""Oh; so he's the church organist." Mia said. "What a DILF!"Gordon ended the call and put his hands on his hips. "Oh well, might as well help myself to a cuppa, whilst I'm here." He headed back into the house. In the kitchen, he was just about to switch the kettle on, when a voice from behind made him jump."Hello there."Gordon spun round in surprise."Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.""Who, are you?" He spluttered, catching his breath, and then he realized she was wearing nothing but a bath towel."Oh, I'm Mia, Jenna's cousin. I've just arrived. I'll be staying here for a bit as I, oh, whoops!"The towel fell to the floor.Gordon's eyes almost popped out of his head."Bloody hell!"The Vicar gets a shock, and the organist is seduced.Reverend Morris turned into the quiet cul-de-sac of Rosebay Gardens and pulled up in front of Mrs. Wilcox's bungalow."Hope the old girl doesn't find this book too rude," he muttered to himself as he knocked on the door. Noticing a pair of garden gnomes dressed in bondage gear, he smiled."Guess she won't!"After a few minutes, no-one came to the door. Reverend Morris fiddled with his clerical collar. The June heatwave was showing no sign of ending. Hearing laughter, he walked down the side of the house and opened the rear gate."Yoo hoo! Anyone there?"He wasn't prepared for what he saw next."Oh Vicar! I didn't hear you!" Mrs. Wilcox cheerfully exclaimed as she dropped the riding crop. "Norman, I told you to lock that garden gate,”The churchwarden, his hairy, bare buttocks red from repeated whippings, leapt to his feet and adjusted the floral print apron, which was his only item of clothing."Ah, good afternoon to you, Reverend! This is, um, well I guess it looks bad.""Dear God!" The vicar muttered. "Jenna was right all along!"Norman was mortified. "Er, I was, we were,”"He's been a naughty boy," Mrs. Wilcox cut in, rising from the garden chair. "He forgot to mow the lawn. I'm still training him, you see.""What's going on here?" Reverend Morris gasped. "Norman, are you some kind of slave?""Heh, er, pretty much," the embarrassed churchwarden replied. "It's a fetish I never knew I had, or knew she had.""My garden isn't overlooked, Vicar and we're both consenting adults. No harm in a bit of what you fancy, is there? Norman, sweetie, why don't you go and clad yourself in something more suitable and make us all a nice cup of Earl Grey, eh? There's a good lad. She gave his arse a playful slap as he hurried into the house."Now Vicar," the old lady said, turning to face him. She grinned, but behind that sweet facade lay steely determination and unbridled spirit. "Why yes, I'm eighty-six. I suppose I should be doing crosswords and watching episodes of Midsomer Murders instead of whipping a younger man's bare behind, eh? You look rather shocked. I must say, I'm surprised at your blushes, given that your lovely wife Jenna has quite a fancy for our dear church organist."Reverend Morris wasn't sure what to say. Norman must've told her about what went on in the church when I arranged Jenna's special birthday surprise, he thought. Damn. I swore him to secrecy."Oh I don't judge, I don't judge at all!" He said quickly. "Whatever turns you on, Gladys. I'm pleased that you're both enjoying yourselves!""Just like you and your good wife, and Gordon enjoyed yourselves in the church hall at Easter, am I right?" She winked at him. There was no way to deny it, for the old lass knew everything. Nosey little old ladies had a habit of knowing the deepest, darkest secrets of every member of a church."Er, that. It was, a one off. It just happened. We got carried away in the heat of moment!" Reverend Morris stammered."As is the usual way," Mrs. Wilcox replied."How did you, erm, find out?""Couldn't resist a peek through the keyhole," she said. That wasn't actually true, but she wasn't going to confess to the camera and Mrs. Norris' failed attempt at blackmail."You're a bit of a dark horse, Vicar," Mrs. Wilcox continued. "Gordon lends himself well to naughtiness, but you always seemed the shy type. Quite the stamina you displayed." She patted his arm. "I must admit, I had doubts when you took over from Reverend Smith, God rest his soul. I was wrong.""Very kind of you to say," he said, starting to relax. "Um, about that church hall incident, you haven't said anything have you?""My lips are sealed, dearie!"Reverend Morris exhaled. "Praise the Lord. Thank you, Gladys!" He was relieved she didn't know about Jenna's " Mentula Cōleī (bukkake) baptism" in the church last year. That would've been too much to excuse.In the house, came the sound of a whistling kettle reaching the boil."Forgive me asking this but, how did you and Norman come to be, er, in such an arrangement?""He wasn't my first choice," she said, with no hint of shame. "I wanted Gordon to step into the role, but he chickened out. Shame, as he showed such promise that afternoon when he came to practice on the organ, and my word, I enjoyed playing with his organ, let me tell you! I said to him, if I were thirty years younger, I'd have done a lot more with his organ! My body's far too old for such things, alas. But he seemed to really enjoy the blowjob I gave him. I haven't lost my touch!"The vicar felt as though he was about to faint. He would never look at this frail-looking little pensioner in the same way again."Well, that's good to know!"Presently, the kitchen door opened and Norman, now wearing a bathrobe, stepped out onto the patio, carrying a tray."Tea, Vicar?"Meanwhile, at the vicarage,Gordon wasn't usually lost for words, but Mia's towel drop had left him tongue-tied."Silly me," she said, bending down and covering herself up. "Sorry about that, Mr.,”He dared to breathe. "Gordon,”"Hi Gordon. I heard you talking on your phone earlier. Are you the organist?"She didn't seem embarrassed at all, but he could feel his face burning. "Um yes, I am. Been organist and choirmaster at St Michael's for twenty years now. I've played other pipe organs in different churches too.""How impressive. Being an organist you must be very good with your hands." Mia said. "May I call you Gordy-pie?""If you wish, and I have no complaints so far," he chuckled, regaining his confidence. He wondered if all female members of Jenna's family had this talent for driving men wild."I'd like your hands on me, Gordy-pie," Mia whispered, walking closer to him."I'm sure. How old are you?" He added, warily."Eighteen, and I'll be nineteen in a few weeks.""Ah." He relaxed. "How come you're staying here then? I'll hazard a guess that you're not training to become a member of the clergy?""Been a naughty girl; haven't I?" She pouted. "Got myself booted out of uni.""Blimey. What did you do?" Gordy-Pie asked."Slept with my lecturer," Mia said, twirling a wet strand of her hair. "Seduced him, lost my virginity to him. I regret nothing.""You are an extremely naughty girl," Gordon tutted in mock disapproval. "Seducing defenseless older men like that.""I know. But Gordy-pie, do you know what the best thing was? That first time we did it. When I pressed against him and felt his hard cock straining against his trousers. The same as yours is now,” She groped his crotch and taken by surprise, he let out a gasp.Mia slipped her arms round his waist and planted a kiss on his lips. "Well? What shall we do?""I quite fancy a nice hot shower," Gordon whispered back. Lowering his voice further, he whispered into her ear. "Get your naughty little ass up those stairs right now and into the bathroom."She didn't need telling twice. Giggling, she threw her towel at him and raced out of the kitchen."I'll show you exactly what an organist can do with his hands!" Gordon shouted as he ran after her, whilst trying to unbuckle his belt.In the bathroom, Mia had already turned on the shower. She watched in amusement as Gordon fumbled with his clothes. He stepped out of his shoes and socks and tried to remove his trousers as fast as possible."Hurry up, Gordy-pie!" She teased."Damn these buttons! He muttered, fiddling with his shirt. "Should've worn a t-shirt."At last he freed himself from the offending item of clothing, and his trousers fell to his ankles."Oh, love your tighty-whities!" Mia purred. They were just like the ones Tom wore."Wait until you see what's inside them!" Gordon laughed, removing his briefs and finally, he was as naked as she was."Wow," Mia gasped. She was more than impressed. The organist's cock was thick and splendid. She was so hungry for cock that any man would've done, but Gordon ticked all her boxes and more. This was going to be one hell of a shower,"Gordy-pie," she whispered, holding out her hand. "I must warn you, I'm very slippery when wet."Gordon stepped inside. Water cascaded across the slim curves of Mia's glistening body and ran down into the darker crevice of her thighs. Gordon saw that she had a dark thatch of pubic hair that obscured her view of the lips below."I'd better handle with care then," he whispered back.His lips closed tight around her skin and kissed her neck right from her left ear, all the way down and around and back up to her right ear. He did this again, this time using tongue flicks just to hear Mia moan slightly."So just how do you play the pipe organ?" Mia gasped.He reached for the shower gel bottle and began to lather up his hands."Like this." He ran his fingers down her shoulders and back, then in a circular motion, before kneading her skin."The thing with pipe organs is, you have to press down quite firmly on the manuals," he said. "That's what the keyboards are called." He planted kisses on the back of her neck. "The organ at St Michael's has three manuals. One up here." He pressed his fingers against her shoulders."Ooh.""The middle one, round about here,” His fingers slipped down to her lower back."That tickles!""And the third manual, that's down here." He cupped her pert buttocks."Then there are the stops." Gordon's hands slipped round and up to her breasts."Have to pull out the stops,” He tweaked her hardened nipples.Mia closed her eyes, loving his sensual touch, and feeling his hard cock pressing against her arse."Oh, Gordy,”"Not forgetting the organ loft," Gordon continued, fingering her clit and making her whimper and shudder in pleasure."That's where the action happens. The organist sits at his console and plays,”Mia continued to shudder but then turned, & roughly grasped Gordon's head with both hands. He saw the desire in the young woman's brown eyes before he kissed her, hard and deep. Mia's inconsistent moans became longer and louder; the trembling went from shudders of the back to full-body quaking.Gordon continued. "And that just leaves, the organ pipes. The biggest pipes produce the deepest sounds. He took her hand and placed it on his cock."I've only got one organ pipe, but it only takes one pipe to make sweet music,”The hot spray from the shower cascaded down both their bodies. Exhilaration coursed throughout Mia's body; she'd never felt so turned on. Dropping to her knees, she soaped up her hands and slid them along Gordon's pulsing shaft. She said nothing as she rinsed, then started tasting him by licking the water drops from his balls.Flattening her tongue and licking in one long stroke up the length of his prick. Wrapping her lips around his cockhead, she sucked him. He tasted so good. A perfect older man.Keeping the rhythm nice and steady, Mia stepped up the sensation by rubbing her fingers around the base of Gordon's cock just above his balls."Mmm, your balls are getting tighter, Gordy-pie. It shouldn't be too long now before I really get to taste you!" Mia said at last. "I want all your delicious cum!""Oh God!"Gordon suddenly tensed, sucked in a breath and then grunted. Mia locked her lips so none of his precious seed escaped. Feeling his cock start to pulse, he exploded in her mouth. Spurt after spurt. Mia swallowed every drop."Did I play the organ correctly?"Gordon slid his hands up her arms and grasped her face, pulling her in for a slow, tender kiss."Perfectly," he murmured. "No wrong notes at all!""I want a more advanced organ lesson, Gordy-pie." Mia said. Hot water ran down her back and legs, making it so much easier for him to slip his fingers inside her tight pussy."What a good idea. You're more than ready!" He rubbed the tip of his still-hard cock against her entrance, teasing her by rubbing it against her clit, then down to the entrance, and back up to the clit again."Now. Please," she begged him.Gordon pressed the head of his cock against her entrance and shoved himself inside. He went in all the way on the first thrust, forcing a moan from the young brunette. He grabbed her hips roughly and thrust hard into her, the sound of wet skin slapping together. Mia moaned loudly as the organist began to pound into her."Oh Gordy! Yes! Fuck yes! Harder!"Neither of them heard the front door open as Jenna returned.To be continued in part 2. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Jenna elevates the ceremonies by supporting the men in need.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A Royal carry-on at the Cathedral.The King's coronation was only a few weeks away. Lots of different events were planned, and the church of St. Michael's was no exception.At St. Michael's vicarage, Reverend Morris was preparing to attend a very important concert at Liverpool cathedral, which was going to be filmed by the team from the popular religious TV programmer, Songs of Praise.Reverend Morris sniggered as he read an online newspaper headline."17th century diary reveals local vicar had an 11 inch penis.""I bet he was popular!" He said to his wife.Jenna laughed. "11 inches? Wow, that is impressive. Of course, it's not the size, it's what you do with it that counts.""Oh yes. I agree completely!" He put down his phone. "Right that's enough of that. We must get ready to leave. Gosh, I'm really looking forward to this concert! It's a real honor for us to have been invited to attend. His Majesty has been visiting several cathedrals this week."I'm excited too. Will we actually get a chance to speak to the King?""Perhaps, Jen. Not sure if he'll come round and speak to all of us, maybe a lucky few on the front row, eh?""Oh good. Must say, I'm relieved that pregnancy scare turned out to be a false alarm, Simon. I'd just got struck down with a stomach bug. I mean, I want to be a mum one day, but not yet. I'm not ready for such a big responsibility just yet, bringing a new life into the world.""You're only twenty-one, Jen. You've got plenty of time. Enjoy the best years of your life! And I just know you'll be a wonderful mum one day. I want us to enjoy our child when the time comes. You're so good with Christopher when he stays over."She nodded and thought to herself. After all, I feel I still have a lot of God's work to do, helping the men of the church.She wasn't the only one who was relieved. Gordon the organist was overjoyed too. Though after a private meeting with the vicar's wife in church last week, he confessed that he would've "pulled out all the stops" to support her, if it turned out he was the father. Thankfully, the status quo had been restored, and much to his delight, he and Jenna had resumed their weekly "organ practice" on Thursday nights.Gordon had been tempted to confess a whole load of other things to her, but had held back, when he got the impression she'd already figured out the strength of his feelings, and that put his mind at ease.Edward Hardwick was nervous. He was standing in for the regular organist at Liverpool, who'd been struck down with a bad case of flu. Edward knew he had big shoes to fill, as the man he was standing in for was a highly respected musician, with countless accolades and credits to his name."It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a regular Sunday service, but why did it have to be a concert where the King will be in attendance? All eyes will be on me. Songs of Praise will be filming. I'm not sure I can cope with this,”Edward was a brilliant young organist, but was prone to periods of self-doubt and nervousness. At twenty-eight, he was still a bit of a greenhorn, compared to the other organists he'd encountered, and had only just landed his first full-time organist job. The small parish church outside Liverpool where he was now the official organist, was a world away from this massive cathedral.Edward was sure a more experienced organist and choirmaster could've been found to perform here, but the clergy seemed convinced that he was ideal to take on the job. He took comfort from that. He must be doing something good if they'd put this much faith in him. And playing at the cathedral for a coronation concert would look very good on his resume.Later,"What a beautiful building this is, Jenna marveled as she and Reverend Morris took their seats in the cathedral ready for the concert. Jenna wore a black skirt suit with a white cotton blouse. Simon was in clerical black, wearing a blazer for travel to Liverpool."I've been to Liverpool loads of times but never visited the cathedral. I wonder if Father Aiden has been here? He used to be based at Liverpool before he came to our town.""Yes I think he's attended a few services here. That reminds me, I must email him sometime and see how he's getting on at the Living Earth Free Church. Last I heard, he'd got engaged to Róisín.""Ah, I'm really chuffed for him," Jenna replied with a smile, remembering her first encounter with the once-miserable priest at the vicarage social last year. She read through the order of service booklet. It was adorned with little golden crowns. The usual collection of familiar patriotic music, Handel's Messiah, Jerusalem, Rule Britannia, Crown Imperial and of course, the National Anthem.On the first page was some information about the cathedral organ."Liverpool Cathedral boasts the largest pipe organ in the UK, an instrument of tremendous power and majesty, but also of serenity and calm. Its sole purpose is to aid worship by creating a reverent atmosphere.""Gordon would be over the moon if he could get his fingers on this impressive instrument! Listen to this, Simon. An 'Anniversary' recital is given by the Cathedral Organist each year on the nearest Saturday to 18th, in commemoration of its dedication.The organ is situated in two chambers on opposite sides of the Choir. It currently comprises 10,268 pipes and 200 stops contained in nine divisions. There are two five-manual consoles; the original one up in a dedicated gallery under the North Choir case and a mobile recital console at floor level. The 'Trompette Militaire' and the 'Tuba Magna' stops are the loudest voices on the organ.""Makes the organ in our church look like a penny whistle by comparison," the vicar replied. "I think even Gordon would be a bit overwhelmed if he had to play this whopper.""He could play it with ease," she replied. "Gordon's the best organist in the world."The hall was filling up and the warm humid spring day made the cathedral quite warm. Jenna removed her blazer and laid it over the back of the pew.Jenna leaned her head on Simon's shoulder & closed her eyes. Soon she thought back to last night. Organ practice with Gordon had been wild, and those two old tin pipes he'd given her during Lent had been put to good use again."Lie back on the stool for me," Gordon whispered. Slowly, he traced the cold organ pipe down her naked body, before pausing and using the tip of it to tease her erect nipples. She giggled."So cold!""Delightfully tuned," he grunted. He moved a finger down and began teasing her clit. Then he pressed a key on one of the manuals."Can you sing that note for me?""Lah.""Excellent! How about these notes?" He played a few chords whilst fingering her."Ahh, doe, ray, me; oh my God,”Jenna breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out in ecstasy, and writhed beneath him. The orgasm rocked through her body like a tidal wave; it was indescribable."Always so perfectly in key, Jenna. Very good, very, ah." Jenna's bare foot started rubbing his groin, and he struggled to remain composed."Open your organ loft, Gordon. I need to perform an inspection."As usual, he immediately succumbed to her charms. "At once," he smiled, unzipping his trousers and freeing his member from his underpants. "I am sure everything is in fine working order, but I might need a little bit of a re-tune.""I can help you there," Jenna said, reaching in she gave a quick kiss to the tip of his fat cock, and began to suck the length, then taking it deeper.Gordon cried out in delight, and dropped the organ pipe. It clattered onto the church's stone floor."Oh, so good," Gordon sighed. His words spurred her on, so she varied her technique, flicking her tongue down his shaft's sensitive underside, then up. She extended her tongue and licked the head of his cock like a lollipop."Umm, is my sexy organ daddy ready to give me some of his delicious cum?""Ahh, he's got plenty for his Jen, oh God here it comes!"Jenna jerked off the organist until he exploded all over her face. She opened her mouth as a huge, pearly wad of his issue landed on the bridge of her nose. A second spurt hit its target, and she quickly swallowed every drop."Jenna! Have you nodded off? King Charles has arrived!" Reverend Morris whispered, nudging his wife."Umm, oh no, sorry I was just thinking, oh yes, there he is!"Everyone stood up, as the soon-to-be crowned monarch took his seat and was welcomed by the Bishop of Liverpool. Thus began the usual formal introductions and as everyone sat down, the sound of the mighty organ radiated through the cathedral."Our concert begins with a rendition of that wonderful rousing piece by Handel, his Messiah, which was composed in 1741. It was first performed in Dublin on the 13th of April, in 1742 and received its London premiere nearly a year later. After an initially modest public reception, the oratorio gained in popularity, eventually becoming one of the best-known and most frequently performed choral works in Western music.""I love the Messiah," Reverend Morris whispered. "Remember when it was played at our wedding?""Sure do." Jenna's eyes gleamed.The music began, but after a few moments, it was obvious that the organist at the console wasn't quite up to playing the mighty beast that this great pipe organ was..Reverend Morris cringed as a few wrong notes were played. "Hmm, I don't think this chap has practiced this enough. Either that or he's drunk.""Well the bishop did say that he's not the regular organist. I think he's nervous. Poor guy. I'd be nervous if I had to play in front of the King, and I was being filmed for a TV programmer!""Oh dear," Reverend Morris said, as the unfortunate rendition continued. "This is sounding more like Handel's Messed-Up Messiah."King Charles appeared to be really enjoying the music. "Oh I say. Reminds one of Les Dawson," he whispered to Camilla. "Splendid entertainer, he was. Dearest Mummy used to love it when he appeared at the Royal Variety Performance in the Eighties. It takes one a great deal of skill to play wrong notes like that!"Camilla simply nodded, but she wasn't fooled. This wasn't meant to be a Les Dawson tribute, but it was certainly interesting."Did I ever mention that I often play organ music to my plants?" the King continued.More error-filled hymns and pieces followed, until the first half of the concert came to an end, and the interval was welcomed by just about everyone, but mostly by the organist."Fuck, I screwed everything up," Edward groaned, shuffling off, his face burning with shame.Some of the overflow crowd lined the hallway, off the sanctuary. Edward faced the gauntlet of critics as he passed through. "Hey mate, is this some kind of joke?" A man shouted. "Have you even taken an organ lesson? Because that was bloody awful!""My three-year old could play better than that!" A woman added."My Labrador could play better than that!""Shame on you! You must be a republican. Playing like that in front of His Majesty!""Look I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!" Edward mumbled, rushing away from the crowded hallway. He had to hide somewhere and try and compose himself, or he'd never get through the second half of the concert.Meanwhile, Jenna had been navigating her way back from the toilets, which was proving to be a bit of a nightmare, due to the crowds and the security measures in place due to the monarch's visit."I definitely shouldn't be down here," she said, hurrying down a small corridor. "Uh-oh, this is the vestry. How did I end up here? I've got to get back to my seat!"Hurrying through a curtained area, she walked right into a man clad in red cassock and white surplice, whom she assumed was a vicar."Oh, so sorry; Reverend!" She mumbled."No I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," the man replied. "Um, I'm not a vicar. I'm Edward, the organist.""Oh right," Jenna said. "Well nice to meet you. Um, I think I'm lost. Please could you,” She looked at him and noticed his eyes were red from crying. "Hey; are you okay?""I'm fine," Edward sniffed. "Uh, yes, just through there and turn right. Keep right, because the left side is out of bounds because the King's sat over there.""You've been crying," Jenna said.‘What a cute guy!'She thought to herself. He looks just like Robert Pattinson. Though she preferred older men, she figured this younger chap was in need of some comfort and a confidence boost. And she never could resist a man wearing church vestments."I've messed up," Edward sighed. "Surely you heard how bad I played during the first half.""I don't blame you," Jenna replied. "I would've been wetting myself if I'd been asked to play in front of the King. I think you did great."My God, this guy is an adorable cinnamon roll!"Oh thanks. I was still shit though. Um, are you an organist?""Not officially. I'm a pianist and I work at my church's Sunday school. The organist at my church who I like, er, who I'm friends with, he has been giving me lessons. It's taken a while, but I can just about stand in for him and do the morning Eucharist. But I still play the odd wrong note or pull out the wrong stops. It's such a complicated instrument! So don't feel bad."Edward relaxed. "I wish all the members of the public were as understanding as you are. I'll probably get a grilling off the Bishop later, as well.""Ignore the haters. And the Bishop is a man of God, so he should be merciful.""Heh, maybe. What's your name?""Jenna. Pleased to meet you Edward! I expect you've heard this before, but you look a bit like Robert Pattinson.""Yeah. I have. Cedric Diggory playing the organ. You'd think he'd use magic so he could play perfectly and without feeling nervous!""Can't use magic in the Muggle world!" Jenna smiled."Heh, are you a Potter fan?""Nah, never really got into it. But I have seen some of the movies.""Same here.""Are you still feeling nervous?""Terrified. I have to play the national anthem at the end of the second half. If I play a wrong note during that, well I'm dreading it.""I'll stop you from feeling nervous," Jenna winked."Oh, how do you plan to do that? Do you have some booze?" He jumped as he realized her arms had slipped round him."No. I'll give you something better than booze." She nibbled at the outside corners of his mouth, teasing him to open for her."Open for me," she whispered, as she continued to place soft kisses.Edward, who was too shocked to process what was happening, only registered the pretty redhead's body pressing him against the wall. Unable to move, he simply stood in her embrace, neither accepting nor returning her kisses.He suddenly blushed even more at the sudden realization that he was becoming erect. This is insane, he thought to himself. The second half is about to start and I'm,"You're really sexy," Jenna murmured, sending shivers down his spine. Edward was powerless to resist her. "Do you feel me?" She asked in a husky whisper, pressing herself against him, "Do you feel how much I want you?" His shyness was an incredible turn-on, and making her terribly horny. She could feel herself getting wetter by the second.Edward looked into her lovely eyes and bent down to kiss her.At their sweet contact, Jenna heard Edward sigh contentedly. He reached down and grasped her arse. Suddenly, she felt his tongue enter her mouth, and his erection pressing against her."What would you like, Edward?""Confidence," he mumbled back.Jenna pushed him into a small cloakroom. "To give an organist confidence, I need to inspect his organ pipe," she purred, swiftly reaching under his surplice and fumbling with the buttons on his cassock. "All these buttons, but no worries, I'll find a way in, ah, there we go!" She unzipped his trousers and reached inside.Edward gasped as her warm hand grabbed his cock. It stiffened further in her grasp."Oh, what a big pipe you have. It seems like a fine one to play a tune on!" Jenna grinned. These corny organ puns worked so well on Gordon, and it seemed that they worked on Edward too. All male organists liked it if they were complimented on the size of their instrument, surely?Edward couldn't believe this was happening. The concert was set to resume in ten minutes but here he was, he just closed his eyes as Jenna worked her magic.Another delicious-looking cock. Edward was her third organist, after Gordon and Raymond Wilson from Oakwood Road Methodist church. Third time lucky!Jenna knelt in front him and kissed the top of his enlarged cock. Then she gently kissed all around its head. With long, gentle strokes she licked up and down the length of the shaft as Edward began to moan with pleasure. She took his balls in one hand and began to massage them. His moans increased.Reverend Morris checked his watch, wondering where Jenna had got to. The second half was about to begin."Did she get lost on her way to the Ladies?" He wondered. Most of the guests had returned to their seats and the Bishop was approaching the podium."Come on Jen, hurry up, or you'll miss the start. What on earth is she doing?"Edward immediately entered her and drew a strangled gasp as he plunged his rigid cock to the hilt. He pulled his hips back so that his cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. He'd been single for a while, and it showed. Jenna moaned at the sensation of this eager young organist thrusting in her. She reached her peak only a few seconds before he spurted his cum deep within her, and when they finally parted, Edward felt like he could conquer the world. Never before had he experienced sex as good as this.Jenna gave him a kiss and zipped up his trousers. "I think it's time I returned to my seat.""Uh, can I get your email or something? I'm on Twitter, but I don't tweet much. Are you on there? Hey, I'm the organist at St Paul's church in Crosby. It has a website. My contact details are on there. What happens now?"She winked at him and gave him a final kiss. "Now, you go and play the organ like a pro. For King and Country.""Oh. Right. Yes. I will!"Jenna hurried down the corridor, a big smile on her face. The archway to the main hall was blocked by a man in a suit standing in the middle."Excuse me," she muttered, tapping his arm, without realizing who he was."Ah, hello there!" King Charles smiled.Jenna froze."You must be one of the cathedral's hard-working staff?" He said."Er, I, Your Majesty." Jenna gave an awkward curtsey. Damn, how embarrassing!"It seems we had a disturbance during the interval. Some fellows from Extinction Rebellion burst in and tried to glue themselves to the pulpit. Did you see it?""Er, er, no I didn't. I was back there." Jenna was desperate to get away, but the King was in a talkative mood and took hold of her hand."All quite amusing! What's your name, dear?""Jen, Jenna."He gestured to a photographer. "See here, this young lady, one of many who is a credit to the cathedral. This is Jenna, yes, yes. Are you getting this? Nice smiles now!"Hope I haven't got cum on the front of my dress, Jenna thought, as the camera clicked away.King Charles finally released Jenna's hand. "Splendid to meet you! Plant some trees!""Thank you. Will do." When he eventually turned and walked to some other people, she was able to hurry down the side aisle and back to her seat."Oh Jen!" Reverend Morris gasped, as his wife hurried beside him. "I saw everything! You got to shake the King's hand! Oh you lucky thing! I'm so pleased for you!""I, I got a bit lost coming back from the toilets and I,” Jenna stammered, still in shock."Thank God you did! If you hadn't exited from that particular area, the King wouldn't have seen you!""I was so nervous. I bet I looked a right muppet. And there was a photographer there!""Not just a photographer. The cameraman from Songs of Praise filmed you too!""Oh no!""Relax, you looked great as always. You're a bit sweaty though. Must be the nerves. It's not like you to be nervous though! You missed all the chaos when the eco-nutters gate-crashed the place."The Bishop appeared. "Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary persons, we apologies for the earlier disruption, but normal service has been resumed. Now we begin the second half of our concert. May I now ask you to stand as we sing that great hymn of England, Jerusalem!""Let's hope they've swapped organists," somebody behind Jenna was heard to say.The first chords of Sir Hubert Parry's masterpiece began, and to everyone's surprise and delight, Edward played the hymn to absolute perfection."Thank goodness I was able to help him," Jenna smiled.To be continued.By Blacksheep for Literotica.

Gordon is reunited with an old crush. Based on a post by Blacksheep, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.   The monthly Mother's Union meeting was taking place at Gladys Wilcox's bungalow. There was much to discuss, mainly tomorrow's Easter Sunday service. However the main topic of conversation was the vicar's phallus. "He was just standing there, starkers! Swinging, I tell you, swinging. It was like a boa constrictor poking out of a tree. I didn't know where to look!" Mrs. Harris exclaimed. "Wish I could've been there," Mrs. Wilcox replied. "Really, Gladys!" "Well at our age there's not much opportunity for those sorts of thrills is there?" She grinned and glanced at Norman the churchwarden, who said nothing and awkwardly sipped his coffee. Being the only man there, he felt uncomfortable sitting through this, but Mrs. Wilcox had insisted he attend. "How come he was naked?" Another woman asked. "Said he'd been having a shower, but I know a lie when I see one. If you ask me, him and his wife had been; you know;" "Having a quickie?" Mrs. Wilcox replied. Norman almost choked on his coffee, remembering that 21st birthday surprise the vicar had arranged for Jenna in the church, sixteen months ago. "Yes, exactly!" "You know something, Maureen, I was chatting to Maud Finch, on the bus the other day. Now she lives on Haddock Street, in one of those council houses that overlook the railway line. She tells me that groups of drunk young men are forever going up on that opposite embankment and mooning at passing trains." "Has she made a complaint?" "Why on earth would she want to do that?" Mrs. Wilcox spluttered. "I said to her, I'll call round later this week and I'll bring a pair of binoculars!" Over on the other side of town, at 64 Stovepipe Avenue, Gordon Leesmith yawned and sat up in bed. He squinted at the alarm clock. It was ten thirty. "Oh Gord, you lazy bugger," he said to himself, stretching his arms. He hadn't intended on having such a long lie-in. Myah had gone to work hours ago. She'd been working Saturdays the past few weeks, covering for Kate, a work colleague who was recovering from major abdominal surgery. Gordon staggered out of bed and scratched his belly as he peered out of the window. The weather seemed reasonable today. The past week had seen some very unsettled conditions, with sunny spells and frequent heavy showers, so typical of British springtime. "I'd better get a move on. I promised Myah I'd cook tonight and there's not a bite of food in the house." Gordon didn't relish the prospect of going to the supermarket during the Easter weekend. Every shop was crammed. Besides, he wanted to head to the church and spend an hour practicing on the organ ready for tomorrow's special service. He'd have the church all to himself for once. He relished this temporary period of calm. Easter was always busy for the organist. As well as his full-time job repairing organs, he'd had to play the Wednesday Eucharist, the Maundy Thursday service, yesterday's Good Friday evening service and on Sunday, it was the big one. At least he could rest his fingers on Monday's bank holiday. "Can't wait to jet off next month," he muttered, as he hurriedly dressed himself and brewed a cup of tea. He'd booked a week's holiday in Tenerife for himself and Myah. Their first holiday together and they were really looking forward to it. Gordon wasn't one for culture, eco-tourism or trailing round ancient ruins. Sun, sea and all-inclusive hotels were his idea of paradise. Myah had never been to the Canary Islands. He hoped she wouldn't be too bored just lounging on the beach or by the pool all day. He'd booked an adults-only hotel, the four star Golden Vista in Playa de las Americas. It had excellent reviews on TripAdvisor. Meanwhile, at the vicarage; Reverend Morris was in turmoil. "Maureen Harris has got a right mouth on her. Who needs social media when you've got a pensioner who's Britain's answer to Hedda Hopper?" "Simon, you're worrying unnecessarily," Jenna said. "You've not done anything wrong. You were in your own home and you didn't know she was there." "Oh, I don't know. I'm the parish vicar and I just accidentally exposed myself in front of an elderly member of my congregation. Can't say I'm too thrilled about that." "Maureen shouldn't have walked in. She was in the wrong. Said she knocked, but when nobody answered, she should've given up and gone." "And I should've locked the front door! I bet she's told everyone at the Mother's Union that she saw me nude!" Jenna shrugged. "So, she saw your cock. I bet many other ladies wish they could've been so lucky!" Gordon parked up on the Tesco Express car park. As expected, the place was heaving with people rushing to get last-minute groceries. Tubs of cut-price garden fence paint were piled up outside the store. As he was looking at these, he heard someone call his name. "Gordon? Gordon Leesmith. Is it you?" He spun round in surprise. A tall, slim woman, late sixties at a guess, and with silvery hair cut into a sleek bob, was stood next to him. She was dressed in a long, pale grey coat with fur-lined collar. Underneath, a skirt or dress of some sort, black tights and ankle boots. "Uh, hello? Yes, I'm Gordon Leesmith. Who are you?" The woman chuckled. "Oh dear. I really have changed haven't I? You don't remember me, do you?" Gordon blinked as he studied her face carefully, then he let out a gasp. "Harriet; Harriet Fairfax?" "Guilty!" Gordon was too stunned to speak at first, but he quickly composed himself. After so many years, here was the woman he'd lost his virginity to, way back one summer night in 1985, when he was just eighteen. His former piano teacher! "Oh God! I can't believe it! I; I, it's so wonderful to see you again! I always wondered what happened to you, Harriet. The last time we met was in 1988, when I'd just got my ARCO diploma. After that, you; well, vanished." "That's a long story. Come, let's go and have a coffee. We've both got a lot to catch up on. I'm only here until Tuesday, then I'm flying back home." "You live abroad?" "I emigrated to Australia when I got married." "Blimey. I think I need more than a coffee. I know a good place." He took her arm in his and they headed across the road. "You certainly have grown in confidence," Harriet smiled. "I always knew you would." At a small pub in the town center, Gordon sipped an overpriced beer and listened intently as Harriet filled him in on her life story. He felt a lump in his throat as she told him of her marriage to Graham, an Australian musician she'd met shortly after Gordon's fateful night in Blackpool Tower. "I suppose my head was well and truly turned. I was blinded by love. You have to remember back then in the Eighties, a single woman, mid-thirties and childless, well I was seen as being left on the shelf. Graham seemed the perfect man; and as I was never close to my parents, I figured here was my one chance to have a new start. New country, new job. So we settled in Perth. I started work as a music teacher. Loved it. Work was bliss. Unfortunately, marriage to Graham was anything but." "Was he unfaithful?" Gordon asked. "No. I would've preferred it if he was. He was abusive. It's because of him that I have partial hearing in my right ear. The beatings got so bad; he beat me black and blue. Even when I was pregnant." Tears pricked Gordon's eyes. "Bastard. Oh God, Harriet. I'm so sorry. Tell me you managed to leave him?" "Didn't need to. He took it upon himself to commit suicide one evening. I came back from work and found him swinging in the garage. August 11th, 1997. What a day to remember, eh? He'd always been a heavy drinker. I found out he'd run up massive debts, got himself fired." "Dear God. How did you cope?" "Well friends and neighbors rallied round. I'm lucky. I'm one of those people who makes friends easily. I had a good support network. Besides, I had to stay strong, for the sake of my boys, Daniel and Ryan; only got Ryan now." She paused and Gordon wondered whether he should press her further. "Daniel; died. He was twelve. A total sweetheart. You see, he was born with Down's Syndrome. Graham never coped with it. He was the loveliest, most gentle boy. Everyone who met him just adored his sunny nature. He loved animals and music. But Graham ignored him. Ryan came along three years later. He's able-bodied. Actually that's why I'm over here. I've been visiting Ryan. He's thirty now. Works as a concert pianist. I'm so proud of him. He's fiercely independent. Doesn't need me fussing over him, but we're still close. This is the last time I'll be flying here. I can't handle these long haul flights any more, now that I'm almost seventy-four. Never did like flying. He'll be the one flying over to see me next time." "You look amazing," Gordon quickly blurted out, wiping his eyes. "Heh, thanks." "I'm so sorry you've had to endure all that, Harriet," Gordon sniffed, placing his hand on hers. "Thanks for being a good listener. Hey and I'm a survivor. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" "So; you didn't re-marry?" "Nah. After Graham died, I focused on being a mum. I got used to being single. Although ten years ago, I met Ray. He's widowed like me and a few years older. He's a total gentleman, bless him. I can't say he excites me sexually. I hope this doesn't sound too mean; he's a bit boring, but at my age, I'm past all that. It's just nice to have someone who's dependable and kind." Gordon nodded. Looking at Harriet, he thought she still looked very attractive. She'd aged well, despite the heartache she'd gone through. A surge of excitement rushed through him. "Anyways Gordon, I've prattled on about myself for too long! Tell me what you've been up to all these years!" Without wanting to bore her, Gordon gave a rundown of his life. From his marriage to Marjorie, to her cheating on him and then divorcing him, to becoming organist and choirmaster at St Michael's church, to meeting Myah. He chose to omit any mention of Jenna, the stunning vicar's wife who he'd bedded countless times before Myah arrived on the scene. "She's very attractive," Harriet said as Gordon showed her a photo on his smartphone. "You look so happy together. Do you'll think you'll have children in future?" "It's a possibility, given that she's much younger than me. Marjorie was adamant she never wanted children. I respected that. I confess I've never given much thought to becoming a dad. But if Myah does want to become a mum, then I'll be up for it." "About the age gap. It's a large one. Has that presented any problems?" "It did at first. Her parents were furious. Some hurtful things were said, but her mother and I eventually came to an understanding. Most people at church have been okay but there were a couple of exceptions. It upset me when my cousin Barry called me a "borderline nonce." He was only joking, but it hurt. She'll be twenty in July. Myah was the one who pursued me, not the other way round;" "Perhaps Barry was jealous of you. But yes, that was a crass thing to say. Well Gordon, there's one thing I want to experience before I head back Down Under." His eyes widened. "Really? What's that?" "I want to see and hear you play a pipe organ! You showed such skill and talent way back in 1985;" she winked at him and he felt that surge of excitement again. "Funnily enough, I was planning to have a practice at church today. Tomorrow's a big day, being Easter Sunday. We've got two choirs singing. Care to join me on a trip to St Michael's? It's only a five minute walk from here." The Mother's Union meeting was drawing to a close, but poor Norman could bear it no longer. Mrs. Wilcox was still questioning Mrs. Harris on a certain part of the vicar's anatomy. "Ladies, please excuse me; I really need to; er, relieve myself. Thank you for your company and I'll see you at church tomorrow!" "Oh yes, take care Norman!" they replied, oblivious to his embarrassment. "That's a fine lodger you've got yourself, Gladys. Now I tend to view men as nothing more than useless articles, but he is a true Christian." "Oh he truly is, Maureen. We have such wonderful times together. He was very easy to train!" At St Michael's church, Gordon gave Harriet a quick tour, before leading her to the organ. "This is a beautiful church," she said. "That's one thing I miss about living in Australia. All of the churches there are recent by comparison. There isn't the history. Oh there are some lovely ones, but it's not the same. This one goes back to medieval times. I love old buildings." "Yes, it's a nice church. Good community here too. I get on so well with the vicar. Reverend Morris is a good egg. His sermons are rather tedious, but nobody's perfect, eh?" He sat on the organ stool. "Here she is! What do you think?" "She's a beauty, Gordon. Three manuals, and the pipework is incredible. A large organ for such a small church." "Aye, she's a grand old lass. I gave her a complete overhaul in January. Replaced some of the big flue pipes. Now she sounds better than ever." He switched on the lamp above the manuals. "Very handy having an organist who can fix organs as well as play them. That's a very specialized job, isn't it?" "Pretty much. Right; what would you like me to play?" Harriet removed her thick coat and slid onto the stool next to him. "Hmm. It's an overplayed piece of music, but I've always liked The Entertainer. You played that for me when you used to come for lessons, remember?" "Ah yes. I remember!" As he began to play, Harriet glanced at her former student, no longer a gauche, skinny teenager but a stocky, fifty-six year old man, with silver hair. He had a paunch, but it suited him. He'd grown into his looks and actually looked better now than when he was eighteen. She ran a finger across her chin, and carefully considered her next move. He truly had become a very gifted organist. Gordon was halfway through playing, when a hand on his thigh made him play a wrong note. He stopped and looked down. "Umm;" "No-one must find out about this." Harriet whispered. "Well Myah's at work; and I don't think Ray can see what we're up to from the other side of the world;" Gordon stammered. He couldn't believe history was repeating itself. "An old girl like me can still get all hot and bothered seeing an attractive younger man," she teased. Her thigh was pressing against his and his cock was starting to respond. "Uh; Harriet," Gordon mumbled, and once again he was transported back to 1985, and was that shy, awkward teenager again. "I; just want you to know. You were my first major crush. Well; I'd fancied other girls, but you; well you just; did it for me." "I'm so glad to hear you say that, Gordon. You were the only student I ever felt attracted to. Truth is, at the time, I was feeling rather sorry for myself and unattractive. When I found out you had a crush on me, it was an incredible turn-on. To be desired by a much-younger man. I knew the whole time." "Guess I wasn't that good at being discreet," Gordon replied. "Not at all. You were shy and went bright red every time I spoke to you. Which was very endearing. I just had to make your first time a memorable one. During the pandemic, I did a lot of thinking. I started looking at old photos. I had one of you taken at your graduation. I started wondering what became of you. So I started trawling the Internet. I checked Facebook. There were a lot of Gordon Leesmiths on there, but not the one I was seeking." "I don't use social media," Gordon said. "Never have. Don't like the idea of it. I'm too old for the likes of Thick Tock or whatever it's called. " "That's fair enough. By chance, I came across a post made on the Facebook page of your church. It mentioned an organist called Gordon Leesmith. I clicked the link to the church's website and on the list of clergy and laity, there was a photo of you! I knew at once it was you." "Ah. So you were able to hunt me down with ease?" He smiled. "I'm glad you did; I've never forgotten that night in Blackpool." She leaned in closer and kissed his cheek. "Gordon; how about I give you a present? For old time's sake and all?" Her hand brushed his crotch and she could tell at once that he'd got a hard-on. "My, my. Seems like I haven't lost my touch!" "You're still beautiful, Harriet." He kissed her back. "I'm all yours;" She smiled and unzipped his trousers. As she freed his erection from his y-fronts, Gordon closed his eyes, savoring the sensation of her hot breath on his skin. He felt her lips wrap around him, and a shudder of pleasure ran through him. She began to bob her head, her mouth moving up and down his length in a rhythm that was both masterful and irresistible. Her tongue danced along the underside of his shaft, teasing and taunting him. "Oh God; oh shit, yes," he moaned. He was producing a lot of precum. Gordon considered himself an over-producer of the stuff. It was a bloody nuisance when one's underpants got wet from being horny all the time, as he usually was. The sounds of their breathing filled the empty church, the rustle of Harriet's skirt and the creak of the organ bench provided a steady beat as she continued her ministrations. Her grip on him was firm, but gentle, and she seemed to know just how to stroke him, how to tease him, how to drive him wild with desire. "Ahh," Gordon grunted. His hand caught one of the manuals and a few wrong notes disturbed the quietness. As she bobbed her head, Gordon could feel his control slipping away. He arched his back, letting out a low groan, his fingers digging into the sides of the organ stool. Harriet knew just how to use her tongue, teasing him mercilessly with it, driving him to the edge of release before pulling back and starting again. Her grip on him tightened ever so slightly, and he felt a surge of desire course through him, making his muscles tense and his heart race. With a groan that was equal parts pleasure and desperation, Gordon tensed, his hips bucking forward as he lost control. He felt the first spurt of hot seed erupt from his cock. Harriet didn't pull away, but instead opened her mouth wider, letting his essence flow over her tongue, down her throat. The sensation was almost too much for him to bear, and he let out a hoarse cry as he released himself fully into her mouth. As his orgasm subsided, Harriet slowly pulled back, her lips still wrapped around him, her eyes shining with pride and satisfaction. "That was wonderful, Gordon," she whispered. "Just wonderful." "Just like old times," came his breathless reply. Jenna Receives a Special Easter Egg. "You're quiet, Gordy!" Myah said as noticed him slumped on the settee, idly running his finger down an empty cup. "Oh! Sorry love," he muttered, quickly composing himself. His mind was still reeling from that fateful encounter with Harriet. He took a deep breath. "Hard day at the organ?" Myah giggled, leaning over the settee and kissing his forehead. "Got myself all prepared for tomorrow's service," he said quickly. "Erm, I have a confession to make; I er, was so wrapped up with practicing, I totally forgot to get some food in. But; worry not. Because you and I are dining out tonight! How do you fancy trying out that new Italian place? My treat. A working girl needs pampering." "Aww, yes!" Myah replied. "You're the best, my organ boy! Right, I'd better go and get changed!" She hurried upstairs and Gordon was alone with his thoughts once more. "Glad I got to see her one last time," he said to himself. "Goodbye Harriet." Next morning; The daffodils were in full splendor. A sea of yellow had erupted on the grass verges flanking the road to St. Michael's Church. A bright sunny sky greeted worshippers on this glorious Easter Sunday. Inside the church, it was bustling. Reverend Morris hurried about, making sure everything was just right, a music stand here, some extra hymn books there. "Where's Jenna?" He asked the churchwarden. "Why, in the vestry of course, with the rest of the choir. She's wearing robes this time, Vicar! Plus, Gordon and that Guild Voices chap will want to give a pep talk before they start." "Oh yes of course, silly me. Thanks Norman." "Do try to relax, it'll turn out fine. I have a feeling this Easter service is going to be unforgettable!" "Hope so, Reverend Morris replied, hurrying back down the aisle. "Right time for some more meet and greet;" A wrinkled hand grabbed the sleeve of his cassock as he passed a middle row of pews. "Good morning Vicar. I trust you weren't ignoring me?" "Ah; good morning to you, Mrs. Harris. Er, no I genuinely didn't see you there." "Of course, there are some things that cannot be unseen," the old lady replied, leaving him in no doubt has to what she was referring to. He cringed. "I'm so very sorry about that." "No need to apologize. You're lucky it was me and not Gladys Wilcox who saw you showing off everything the Lord gave you. Her reaction would've been rather different to mine." "Uh; I see," the vicar coughed, feeling his cheeks burning with shame. "Makes you sick doesn't it?" Mrs. Harris continued. "Just the thought of it." "The thought of what?" "Senior citizens lusting after younger men." Reverend Morris was unsure how to respond to that, but luckily Josh the curate intervened. "Would you believe it?" He said. "That flower arch around the door is absolutely infested with greenfly. Most of the flowers are already dead." "What? It only went up last night!" In the vestry, everyone was crammed in like sardines. Gordon had taken charge of the St. Michael's choir, whilst Derek was organizing the Guild Voices. "Oi, Luke, get that surplice on the right way round!" Gordon yelled at a choirboy. "Hannah, put that smartphone away!" He shook his head. "Honestly, it's like herding a bunch of cattle." "A shame about the lack of space," Derek remarked. "I keep forgetting what a small church this is. Morning Jenna!" He winked at the vicar's wife. "Hello Derek." The choirmaster lowered his voice. "Need a quick word with you alone; where can we go that's private?" Jenna glanced round. "Come with me." He discreetly followed her as she slipped out of the vestry and to a tiny storage area by the side of the organ pipes. There was no door, just a curtained archway. The room little more of an alcove, and the two of them could barely fit inside it. "Cozy," Derek smiled. "Got a little Easter present for you, Jenna," he said, rummaging in his jacket pocket. He handed her a small box. "Aww, thank you," she said. "That's really thoughtful." "Go on, you can open it now." "Oh that's cute," she smiled, holding up a little plastic yellow and green Easter egg on a pink silicone cord, and assumed it was a decoration of some kind. "Does it have chocolate inside?" Derek gave a mischievous grin. "Nope. You see; it's meant to go inside you! I was wondering if you could; wear it for me during the service? I'll enjoy an interesting little Easter egg hunt later; if you get what I mean." Jenna smiled back. Derek was more adventurous than she'd first imagined. "Why certainly, Derek. Maybe after the service, He will have Risen; and I'm not talking about Jesus there." She winked and hurried off to the toilets. "Naughty girl," Derek chuckled. "I hope she's in fine voice. Now the fun begins!" Shortly after, Jenna returned and took her place among the other Guild Voices choir members at the front of the church. Gordon began playing the voluntary, whilst the church choir did the usual procession down the main aisle. Reverend Morris stepped up to the pulpit and glanced at his wife. It seemed odd seeing his wife wearing a cassock and surplice, but she wore it well. He puffed out his chest with pride, noticing all the full pews. His church had definitely beaten St. Peter's. "Brothers and sisters, a very warm welcome to you all on this joyful Eastertide! I ask you to take the joy and hope of Easter and let it be your light and your life. Tell people that there's hope. In the driest valley, there is the resurrection. In the darkest night, there is the resurrection. In the worst moments you ever go through there is the resurrection, there is the promise of life, there is Jesus whispering into your ear saying that it's okay because death has lost its sting. There is the resurrection. Death is defeated. He has done it. He is risen. Hallelujah! We're very honored today to be hosting the Guild Voices Choir, led by the talented Mr. Derek Blackledge, who has put together a fantastic medley of holy music, along with our own equally talented organist, Gordon. He is, of course, ably assisted by his partner and organist-in-training Myah, who will be playing a few pieces for us. Now, without further ado, let us stand for our first hymn, Thine Be the Glory!" Just as Jenna was about to take a deep breath and focus on the music, she felt the egg she'd inserted into her womanhood begin to vibrate uncontrollably. Then, she noticed Derek, fiddling with his smart watch. His expression was one of mischief and amusement, and she knew instinctively that he was the one responsible for this unexpected distraction. The strains of the mighty organ filled the church as Gordon began playing the hymn. Jenna gave an awkward jolt, but was determined not to lose control during this situation. Well played, Derek, she thought. Well played. The choirmaster was waving his baton, and concentrating on the choir, but every so often, he made eye contact with Jenna, who was stood on the front row. Her voice was a little shaky, but it wasn't noticeable, thankfully. As the vibrations increased, Jenna struggled to maintain her composure. The sensations were overwhelming, and she could feel herself growing warm all over. She tried to ignore the egg, focusing instead on the beautiful music and the sacredness of the occasion. But try as she might, she couldn't help but be affected by the relentless vibrations. Her breath grew shorter, her cheeks flushed, and her body trembled with each passing moment. "No more we doubt thee, glorious Prince of life; life is naught without thee; aid us in our strife; Make us more than conquerors, through thy deathless love: bring us safe through Jordan to thy home above! Thine be the glory, risen conquering Son, Endless is the vict'ry, thou o'er death hast won." The hymn ended, and quiet descended on the church. Everyone sat down, and that didn't make it any easier for Jenna, as she squirmed awkwardly on the chair. "What's the matter with the vicar's missus, she got fleas or something?" One of the old ladies on the front row of pews whispered. "Well you know what young people are like, Maud. They can't sit still for five minutes can they? Probably suffering from smartphone withdrawal." "Either that or she's bursting for the toilet!" Sitting through the readings was bad enough, but the sermon was to prove far worse. Derek had obviously been planning this ever since their encounter on Wednesday night. The devious choirmaster was loving this! She gritted her teeth as she noticed him fiddle with his watch again. He wasn't finished with her yet. Just as she thought she had regained control, it started to vibrate again, this time more insistently than before. It seemed to have a mind of its own, dancing against her clit with an unyielding determination. Jenna bit back a moan, her cheeks burning red as she fought to maintain her composure. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the next piece of music in the book, trying to ignore the sensations building inside her. "We all make mistakes and mess up. The way you �be� a good Christian is to have faith in that cross and empty grave, in what Jesus did there. Because our faith is the one where God comes to us to give us hope and defeat the powers of sin and death for us, out of love!" After what seemed like an eternity, Reverend Morris finally ended his sermon. It was time for the next hymn, The Old Rugged Cross, but first, there was a piece of music to be performed a cappella by the choir. Gordon left his place at the organ and stood alongside Derek. He adjusted his open-fronted black gown and nodded at the choir. He noticed Jenna and smiled at her. She looked a bit uncomfortable, which he assumed was down to her singing in front of an audience for the first time. As the singing began, Derek subtly pressed his watch again. Jenna's voice went from low to impossibly high. Her eyes closed and as she sang, she felt a newfound strength welling up inside her. It was a strength born of passion and desire, of the need to express herself fully and without restraint. Gordon was amazed at her vocal range, then again, he didn't need to remind himself that the stunning vicar's wife had many talents; some he was no longer privy to, but her cousin had more than made up for. As she belted out the final chorus, her body trembled with the effort. Her breath came in ragged gasps, and her heart pounded wildly in her chest. The egg vibrator continued its relentless dance against her sensitive flesh, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her veins. She could feel herself growing closer and closer to the edge, the release just out of reach. Gordon continued to watch her. Blimey, she's really putting her heart and soul into this performance. He thought. It's almost as if; she's about to have an orgasm! He scolded himself for thinking about sex yet again. Yet he could not shake the image of her desperate to climax. Under those robes, Miss Kitty could be sopping wet. Mmm, a nice thought. He took a deep breath as he felt his cock starting to twitch, and quickly put that out of his mind. The last thing he needed was to develop a hard-on in front of the entire church. The a cappella piece ended, and it was time for Gordon to return to the organ and play the next hymn. As he did, he stole one last glance at the vicar's wife. Maybe it was just nerves. He sat down on the organ stool and began playing The Old Rugged Cross. Jenna glanced around, hoping no one had noticed the effect the egg was having on her. But everyone seemed to be too focused on singing of the hymn, their faces glowing with pride and accomplishment. Jenna bit her lip, as she fought to control the egg's relentless movements. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on something, anything, other than the sensations building inside her. But it was no use. The loud notes of the organ, the church, passages from the Bible; all seemed to feed the fire burning inside her. She was about to come, and there was no stopping it. She closed her eyes, her fists gripping her hymn book tightly as she surrendered. She started moaning gently as the pressure within built up. As the hymn's final verse was sung, Jenna climaxed with an almighty yell and her body shuddered as her orgasm spewed forth her juices and then there was a pop. She gasped as she felt the egg vibrator slip loose and fall to the stone floor. The silicone cord broke free, and the egg rolled away, under her chair. There was no way she could bend down to retrieve it. Her intense behavior had not gone unnoticed by Edna Draper, who was stood next to her. "I take it you like that hymn a lot? You were really giving it your all!" "Yeah," Jenna said, getting her breath back. "I've been practicing so hard!" Meanwhile, the egg was still rolling along the church floor. It came to a stop by the side of the organ stool. "Hello, what do we have here?" Gordon said to himself. When the vicar took to the pulpit again, the organist discreetly bent down and picked up the egg. It was warm, wet and glistening with clear goo. He knew at once what it was. "Now which naughty little Easter Bunny does this egg belong to? I think I can guess." He gave it a sniff, wiped it with a tissue and placed it in his jacket pocket. Looking over to the choir, he noticed Jenna fidgeting on her chair. "I knew it! She was getting herself off when I was conducting the choir!" The Easter Sunday service drew to a close. Reverend Morris ended it with some uplifting words. "Brothers and Sisters! Before we all head off to the church hall for tea, coffee and chocolate eggs, let me ask you one more time. Are you filled with hope today? Then go out and take it with you! This is the best news you'll ever be able to give anyone. That He loves you enough to rise again, to give you hope. And no power on earth can stop us if that is the message we're bringing to people this Easter. Amen!" Based on a post by Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Fellatio Rites for the Ghost of John WesleyA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna took a deep breath as she approached Oakwood Road Methodist Church."Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Reverend Morris asked.She patted his shoulder. "I'll be fine Simon. You don't need to worry. It's the ghost of John Wesley, not Jack the Ripper. This is exciting! I hope he'll appear!""Right, well, I'll be sat in the car then. I hope you won't be too long. Remember, just turn and run the moment you feel in any way uncomfortable.""Reverend Morris, I think you're scared!""No I'm not! I can't help being concerned for the safety of the woman I love can I? Aren't you a tiny bit nervous?""I'm as cool as spring water," Jenna replied. "I was reading all about John Wesley last night. He was a true gentleman. I'm sure this won't take long."Reverend Morris nodded as he watched his wife enter the church. "Well if anyone can fix this, Jenna can. I don't know what she said to the Archbishop of Canterbury last week, but he changed his mind about the wall plaque faster than the Government does U-turns. I wonder what she said to him? Whatever it was, Justin Welby was impressed!"He reclined in his car seat. "I was so lucky to meet Jenna. Of course, it was God who delivered her to me. That fateful Sunday morning in the vestry, oh."Father Aiden was walking along the street. Many things were on his mind. He had some important decisions to make about his future in the priesthood. Briefly glancing up from his smartphone, his heart jumped as he spotted Jenna entering the Methodist church across the road."Holy Mother, " he muttered. A rush of excitement swept over him as he recalled the intimate encounter he'd enjoyed a few weeks ago. It was that which had spurred him to think about his future. He quickly crossed the road."Hello Father!"The priest almost dropped his phone. Someone was shouting at him from a parked car."Oh, Reverend Morris. Hello there." Damn, no chance of a repeat encounter, he thought. "I've just seen your wife going into the Methodist church.""Yes, I hope she won't be long. I'm just waiting for her.""Are you alright? You look a bit anxious, if you don't mind me saying.""It's a long story, Father. I think you'd better sit down in the passenger seat and I'll tell you. You've not heard about what's been going on in Oakwood Road church have you?"The priest looked confused. "Nope. Tell me more!" He opened the car door and sat down. I could do to unburden myself too.""Okay, well, this might sound a bit weird.""I can handle anything weird," Father Aiden replied."It's about ghosts. As a Catholic, what are your thoughts on them and have you ever seen one?"Father Aiden thought about his answer very carefully. "Hmm. In theory, billions of ghosts potentially exist because billions of human beings have "lost" their bodies through death. Strictly speaking, these disembodied souls are not ghosts because they have never become discernible to any living people. Only those few souls whose presence is seen or felt by others are truly ghosts. And their existence is real.""So you've seen one?""Yes. Two actually. Once in Ireland when I was a child and another when I was based in Liverpool. I was called upon to rid a family's home of a troubled spirit."Reverend Morris looked relieved. "That's good to know.""The Old Testament also has a few ghost stories. The most famous one is in 1 Samuel 28:8--20. Here the inspired writer tells how King Saul met with the ghost of the prophet Samuel." Father Aiden replied. "Have you seen a ghost?""Yes. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of John Wesley! He's haunting the Methodist church. That's why I'm here. Jenna's gone in there to try and help him return to, the other side.""Oh I see, then she must, wait, what?" Father Aiden did a double take."Thanks for coming' along Mrs. Morris," Reverend Ewing said, shaking Jenna's hand. "I know you probably think this whole thing is crazy.""Not at all! And call me Jenna. I'm a true believer. If my husband says that you and he saw John Wesley, then I know it's true. But why does John want to see me of all people?""Your hubby mentioned that your grandma is a Methodist?""Uh yeah. Bit of a tenuous link. Like Sir Henry Barrington-Smythe's horse.""Huh?""Oh, never mind. Figure of speech.""You Brits and your little quirks!" Reverend Ewing laughed. "I'm still getting used to 'em!""You said John usually appears in the vestry?""Uh-huh. Can be anywhere in the church, but he seems to like the vestry best.""Right, well go and wait in there and say a few prayers, and see if he appears. I'm not sure I can do anything, but I'll try my best."Jenna entered the vestry. Everything looked perfectly normal in there. She closed the door and looked around."It always comes back to the vestry," she smiled to herself as she recalled when she first got to know Reverend Morris.Suddenly, the row of gowns on the rail began to swing on their hangers. The temperature dropped, and Jenna rubbed her arms."Are you there, John?" She called out."Yes."She spun round. There was no sign of the spirit. "Hey, come on, show yourself at least. It's no fun talking to the invisible man.""My sincere apologies," John replied, and slowly faded into view. For the first time, Jenna was taken aback. "My God, you really are John Wesley, "He nodded and bowed. "Bless ye, for am so honored you hath come here. If I may be so bold to say, you be a lady of great beauty my dear.""Very kind of you to say, Mr. Wesley." Jenna said. "Why are you back in the land of the living? Aren't you happy in Heaven?""Ah yes," he began. "Happier than mortals can ever imagine. But you see, I feel compelled to return to this realm every All Hallow's Eve. I like to re-visit the places where I worshipped back when I was alive. And it was in this very place where this church now stands that I preached to crowds back in the autumn of 1778.""You've got a lot of places to visit in just one night," Jenna said. "I read all about you. You travelled all over England spreading the Word of the Lord. Plus you went to America, the colonies, when you were younger.""Indeed I did, yes. To my regret, I lingered a little too long here, for I found myself unable to return to the afterlife. The sun had started to rise, heralding All Saint's Day. Thus, I am trapped here in this church until next All Hallow's Eve. Only a tremendous release of positive energy could allow me to return before then.""Oh dear. May I ask why out of all the people in the world, you wanted to see me? What can I do? My gran is a Methodist. Is that the reason?""No Miss Jenna. It was your aura that attracted me. It's very strong. I believe God himself must've embodied you with some sort of innate goodness that allows you to help people.""You're making me sound like some kind of saint! I assure you I'm just a regular human being. I'm not particularly gifted in anything, although I do try to be a good person, "John had a rather dreamy expression on his face. "You remind me so much of Grace Murray, a lady I loved and lost, only you be far prettier than her."It was then that Jenna had an idea. A huge grin spread across her face. She'd read all about John Wesley's life and how unlucky he'd been in love. "A tremendous release of positive energy, you say? I think I know something which may cause that!"John put his hands together. "You do? Pray, do tell, my dear.""You need to experience an orgasm. What could be more positive than that?"He blinked. "I beg your pardon?""Oh you know, " She tried to think of a period-appropriate phrase so he'd understand. "The end act of carnal relations?"He blushed. "Oh. Miss Jenna I be a man of God. I don't see how, "Jenna sank to her knees. "Only one way to find out, John!" She paused. So he's a ghost. I've never pleasured a ghost before. Isn't he composed of just gas? He's quite cute, for someone who died in 1791! I wonder if,She reached out to touch him, and expected her hand to pass right through his body, but it didn't. He jolted at her touch."Don't worry John. I've done this before, many times in fact. It's a great honor to be able to do it to you. I'm sure this will help you."The moment of first contact had arrived. Jenna let one hand gently glide ever so slightly over John's thigh, encased in tight black breeches. Reaching out with the other hand, she ran it over his crotch, feeling an impressive bulge."Oh my! I feel strangely warmed yet again!" John sighed.Jenna fumbled with the buttons on his breeches, being more used to zippers. Something large and splendid lurked within. Either that or he had a Bible stuffed down there. "My God!" she gasped, as the Methodist's member was revealed. The short, slightly-built John Wesley was hung like a horse!"How on earth were you so unlucky in love?" Jenna exclaimed."Mostly the ladies deserted me long before I even reached the bedchamber," he mumbled."Well I'm not deserting you." She wrapped her lips around his cock head and swirled her tongue for a bit before plunging all the way down his shaft. He emitted a deep and low groan.Jenna slowly bobbed her head along his shaft over and over, with her hands grabbing his thighs for support. He moaned in pleasure with each and every stroke of her soft and warm mouth."Oh dear God," he whimpered. "Your mouth. It feels amazing."It was clear that poor John Wesley had never experienced a blowjob before, not in life, nor the afterlife, and Jenna instantly felt very generous to be giving him this incredible gift. His breathing was erratic, and she sensed that he had already reached a point of near-climax, and was doing everything he could to fight it off.Jenna's expert mouth slowly bobbed up and down his shaft. She then paused at the bottom and held his huge shaft completely inside her mouth, all the way to the back of her throat. She reached through his legs, grabbed his arse, and pulled him toward her in an attempt to get him even deeper into her throat."Uh!" he moaned. "I'm not going to last much longer. I fear I shall spend!"Outside the vestry, Reverend Ewing paced back and forth, wondering what the strange groaning noises were all about."The hell is going' on in there?" She said out loud.Jenna slowly slid her mouth back over his shaft and removed him from her mouth. She wore the naughtiest smile, and John could tell she was thoroughly enjoying this as much as he was. She took his cock into her mouth once more and slid her tongue back and forth along the underside of his shaft. He responded with another moan, louder and more urgent than before. She removed him once again from her mouth and looked toward him with a smile. the faint silver light surrounding John was more radiant than before."Are you ready to spend?" She asked, looking up at him from her knees. John was so overwhelmed, he couldn't speak. He simply nodded his head and grunted."Then I want you to come for me," she said. With that, she slid his wet cock back into her mouth. Once again she reached through his legs to grab his arse and pull him toward her, and she began to furiously fuck him with her mouth. He placed his hands on the back of her head and thrust himself into her mouth, over and over, filling the vestry with the wet sound of fellation.Jenna began moaning, and her muffled moans seemed to push John over the edge. With her mouth still filled with his cock, he stopped his thrusting and gave a loud groan. His body tensed and shook, and Jenna did everything she could to swallow his massive load, but it was too much. Some of his thick cum leaked from the corner of her mouth and splashed down the front of her pink top."Ah!" John sighed, his eyes closed in ecstasy. Thoroughly satisfied, he cried out in joy. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"Pleased to have completely drained him, she removed his cock from her mouth. His cum was delicious. Ghost cum tasted just as good as that from a living man.All at once, a pillar of light surrounded John."Ah! I'm free once more! You've freed me Jenna! I can't thank you enough! I can return and be at peace!" He began to rise up into the air. "I hope we shall meet again sometime! Farewell and God bless!"Jenna stood up and wiped her lips. "Godspeed, John! Oh! Just one more thing, next time you visit, can you bring your brother Charles along?"Reverend Ewing was about to knock on the vestry door, when it suddenly opened."Oh! Is everything alright?""Everything's fine. You can reopen your church. John's spirit is at peace once more.""For sure? He's really gone? But how?""I just said a prayer for him. Told him how much his teaching continues to inspire people to this day. That seemed to satisfy him and he just faded away.""Well thank you so much, Jenna," the reverend said, shaking her hand. "I'm so glad it's all over. It was really stressing me out! and I'm so happy that John is at peace in the Lord's kingdom again. Oh, what's that on your clothing?"Jenna looked down and was mortified at the huge globs of cum. "Oh dear. It's, candle wax. I didn't realize it had spilled. I must get going now, Reverend Ewing. Simon is waiting in the car and he'll be getting worried.""Of course. Thank you again, and give my regards to Simon!"When she'd gone, Reverend Ewing looked round the vestry. "Hmm, strange. There are no candles in here."The lecherous church warden meets his match.After peace was restored to Oakwood Road Methodist Church, and the spirit of John Wesley successfully liberated, Jenna and Reverend Morris turned their attentions to this weekend's Remembrance Sunday service. This was always a major event, and the people would be crammed into St. Michael's like sardines."I've finally completed this special sermon," Reverend Morris said, handing Jenna his iPad. "Have a read and tell me what you think. I included your suggestions about the importance of teaching the younger generation about those who died in wars. Also the bit about Winston Churchill being a flawed figure. Good suggestion, that. As human beings we are all flawed in some way.""It looks fantastic. Let me grab a coffee and settle down to enjoy this!""I hope it won't come across as too boring. You know I always get paranoid about my sermons. So many churchgoers dread a long sermon!""Your sermons are always fun and relevant, Simon, You're too hard on yourself."The mild-mannered vicar smiled. "Aww, thanks! Oh and I hope Norman Winstanley behaves himself this weekend. I had to have a quiet word with him during the Wednesday morning service.""The new churchwarden? What's he done wrong?""Well, as you know, he took over from dear old Albert who died last month. He'd previously been at St. John's, but sadly, that church has closed for good and is being demolished. Such a shame. It was a great church back in the day.""Very sad when a church dies. What are they building in its place?" Jenna asked."An Aldi supermarket. Anyways, about Norman. He's sixty-five and a terrible lecher, to put it plainly. Some say he's Sid James and Benny Hill cranked up to eleven. He didn't get nicknamed Carry On Norm for nothing."Jenna was immediately intrigued. How come I've never noticed this guy before? She thought. "Ooh. So he likes to ogle young women does he?""Yes, but not just young! I've seen him staring at the legs of older women too. Last Sunday, I caught him perving at Mrs. Wilcox when she was doing the flower arranging. And she's about eighty! Though I admit, she does have nice legs, for someone er, so mature.""Naughty boy. At least he's not ageist." Jenna said. "He needs to get on OnlyFans."Reverend Morris couldn't help but laugh. "You always try to see the best in everyone! Well just looking is one thing, but Norman has built up a bit of a reputation for being a qualified pincher of bottoms. I won't tolerate that sort of behavior. It's completely unacceptable. I'm surprised he's avoided getting into more trouble, to be honest.""Is he married?""No, widowed. Took early retirement too. Has far too much time on his hands. And we all know that the Devil makes work for idle hands, ""So true," Jenna nodded. "He makes bottoms for idle hands to pinch. "I don't think I've seen Norman. What does he look like?""Well he wears glasses and he's the spitting image of Frank Carson."Jenna blinked. "Who?""Heh, I keep forgetting the age gap between us. Frank was a Northern Irish comedian. He's dead now. My dad was and still is a massive fan of him. He used to go and see him on stage at Blackpool in the 1990s." Reverend Morris looked up a picture of the comedian on his phone and showed it to her."Ok. I'll keep an eye out for Norman this Sunday!""If he tries anything with you, tell me at once!""Oh don't worry. He wouldn't dare," Jenna replied, smirking to herself, an idea already forming in her mind. Naughty Norman. I can't have a churchwarden with wandering hands threatening Simon's church. I'd better get my hands on him before he causes any more trouble!As expected, the Sunday service was very well-attended. Jenna had arrived early, as she wanted to sit in a specific place right in the front pew. She chose to sit on the left side, in front of the organ. She'd chosen this spot because it was semi-hidden, due to a convenient pillar. More importantly, Norman the churchwarden would soon be standing here, just a few feet away, ready to direct people when it was time to take communion. For Remembrance Sunday, Jenna had chosen a smart, but conservative black dress and a silk scarf featuring a poppy pattern. She was wearing two paper poppy badges, and one of them was in a very intimate place."I hope this isn't disrespectful to the war dead," she thought to herself as she crossed her legs. "But it's necessary. This is for the good of the church's reputation. Very helpful that these self-adhesive poppy badges exist now. I just hope it doesn't drop off, "Before long, Norman Winstanley appeared and Jenna recognized him at once. Her husband's Frank Carson description had been spot on. The guy looked just like him. A full head of white hair, glasses and bushy eyebrows. A stocky build, with a beer gut. Norman looked very smart. He was wearing a dark grey suit with white shirt and maroon tie. He had big hairy hands. Jenna wondered if other parts of his body were hairy."Ah, that's him. Mr. Wandering Hands Winstanley," she said to herself. She should've been repulsed by this randy old boomer, like most women her age would be, but as usual, she found herself lusting after him and getting wet."I wonder if he wears y-fronts like Gordon? He looks the type." Of all the different types of underwear she'd seen men of this church wearing, y-fronts and boxer shorts were her favorite.Norman stood in his usual place, ready to direct the lost sheep, as he termed the congregation, to the pews, and then out again, when called for communion. St. Michael's had an efficient system whereby the congregation, one pew at a time, went up for communion, walked in a circle round the church and back to their seat. This system had been introduced during the pandemic, but had proved so successful, it had been kept on.Suddenly, the strains of the organ interrupted the quietness of the church, as Gordon began playing the opening hymn, O God Our Help in Ages Past.Everyone dutifully stood up, and it was then that Jenna caught Norman's eye. She noticed him staring and winked at him. He winked back at her. Immediately, she knew she had his full, undivided attention.Who's that tasty little filly? Norman thought. I haven't seen her before. Mind you, I've only been helping out here a week. Not many young lasses in this church. She's a pretty one. Mmm, I'd like to goose her!Look at him, undressing me with his eyes, Jenna smirked. Oh he's horny all right. I think he needs a lot more than a butt cheek to pinch. I bet his balls are as blue as a Smurf's arse.The hymn finished, and everyone sat down, as Reverend Morris began the usual start of the morning Eucharist."A very blessed welcome to all who have joined us today, for this, our special Remembrance Sunday service. We are gathered here today to reflect on those who gave their lives in the service of this country. At the same time, we reflect on those who are currently enduring the horrors of war. The people of Ukraine, Syria and Afghanistan. Let us pray, "Jenna bowed her head. At the same time, she crossed her legs and slid her dress up, exposing some creamy white thigh. Norman's eyes almost popped out of his head. She was sure she heard him utter a noise, rather like the whinny of a horse. At the same time, Gordon peered over the top of the organ, waiting for his cue to start playing the Gloria in Excelsis. His elevated position afforded him a perfect view of Jenna, when he spotted her sitting right at the front. He assumed she'd chosen to sit there for his benefit."Venus herself," he muttered, gazing at her flawless legs and remembering the last time they'd been wrapped round his body at the vicarage social. He felt his cock starting to throb. "God she makes me feel glad that I was born a man!"A cough brought him to his senses. Josh the curate was desperately trying to attract his attention as discreetly as possible."Oh, sorry!" Gordon whispered, fumbling with his music sheets. He started playing the Gloria.Jenna was getting excited just thinking about flashing her white panties. Her nipples were already erect and hard and she could feel that familiar warm, moist sensation between her legs. Slowly, she slid her dress up higher and uncrossed her legs, doing so in such a way that it was impossible to avoid a panty flash. She looked at Norman and raised an eyebrow. He let out an audible gasp and his face flushed a shade of red that looked as if his blood pressure had reached stroke-inducing levels. Fumbling in his pocket, he grabbed a handkerchief and wiped his face. Jenna noticed how his forehead and upper lip were glistening with sweat.No-Nut November might be a thing, but not in my world, Jenna thought. At this rate, poor Norman will have collapsed before I even get to unzip him. He was looking at her again and she noticed his bulge in his trousers that he tried covering with crossed hands. Communion was rapidly approaching, and in the middle of the offertory hymn, Norman suddenly rushed off to the gents. When he returned a few minutes later, Jenna noticed his flies were unzipped. She wondered whether he'd done this deliberately or forgotten to zip up after having a pee or a wank."So you want to play do you?" Jenna whispered and winked at him.Norman was holding an order of service booklet, and deliberately dropped it. As he squatted down to pick it up, the gap in his unzipped trousers widened, allowing Jenna a glimpse of his underwear. She was thrilled to have a peek at his pale blue y-fronts and the bulge contained within."Very nice!" She mouthed to him and blew a discreet kiss.It was time to take communion, and being sat at the front, Jenna had to go first. Calmly, she rose from the pew and walked past the organ. As she did, the poppy pinned to her dress fell out."Oh dear, she said, and bent down to pick it up. As she did, she ensured her dress rose up, revealing a flash of her panties. However it was Gordon who got the full eyeful. He leant over for a better look, and clumsily knocked a load of music books off the shelf at the side of the organ."Damn and blast it," he muttered, scrambling to pick them up.Jenna took communion and walked round the church and down the side aisle. As she approached her pew, Norman "helpfully" held out his hand to direct her, and she took the opportunity to squeeze past him. As she did, she felt a hand cup her right buttock and give a little pinch."You're a dirty old man, Mr. Winstanley," she said. "Luckily for you, I happen to be a dirty young woman." Quick as a whip, she slid her hand to his crotch and groped his bulge through his unzipped trousers."Ah, oh!" Norman jolted in surprise. Jenna sat down and smiled at him."I want to see more. Do you?"His nostrils flared, and he quickly backed off, squirming with arousal and bewilderment. Jenna wondered if she'd scared him off, but as the organ music resumed and communion ended, she saw him grab the order of service booklet again and hold it sideways against his crotch. Wondering where this would lead, she was ready to play. It was much more fun than her doing all the flashing. She raised her leg and slid a finger across her panties, pulling the material to the side, giving him a peek at her pubic hair.Norman felt like he was going to cum in his underpants, if this continued. His face was red and his breathing was shallow. He wondered just how much longer he could hold on, but hold on he did. This cheeky little filly was unlike any other woman he'd ever encountered. A wiser, less lecherous man would've backed off long ago, in this age of Me Too, mindful that he could be being led into a trap. But Norman was a shameless, seasoned groper and letch, and he wasn't going to back down now. Using the booklet to shield his crotch from other members of the congregation, a swift movement of his left hand freed his cock, and the top of it poked out from his blue underpants.Not looking down at himself, not acknowledging that his erect dick was visible, the churchwarden acted as if everything was normal. Jenna couldn't stop staring at his cock. It was more ram rod than sham rod. She licked her lips and made a gesture to him with a clenched fist moving up and down.What a delicious-looking cock he has! She was practically drooling like a dog in heat, in the same way he was drooling at the sight of her pubic bush. And speaking of which, she hiked up her dress and revealed the front of her panties. Attached to them was another paper poppy.Norman's jaw dropped.At the same time, Gordon craned his neck to peer over the top of the organ again and got a grandstand view of Jenna's poppy."Holy shit!" He spluttered. He quickly sat down on the stool, but not before knocking his books over a second time.Further along the front pew, sat four old ladies all in their nineties, notorious gossips of the church."I say Margaret, I think the organist is drunk. He's not quite himself. He was dreadfully out of time when he played the Gloria!""Well really. It's disgraceful. On Remembrance Sunday of all days. Oh my good gracious, Mavis! Look at that! The churchwarden's flies are undone!"Immediately, the four of them leant forward in unison to get a better look."Heaven's above, you can see his, concern! How shocking! Somebody should tell him!""Maud, it's times like this that I really envy the youth. They have those fancy telephones that take instant photos.""The last time I saw a man in such a state was in 1943, and I'd just turned eighteen. Those American G I blokes, such good times!"Jenna couldn't wait any longer. The service wouldn't end for another ten minutes. Removing the poppy from her panties, she adjusted her dress and rose from the pew. "Join me in the gents," she whispered, and pressed the poppy into Norman's hand. "Lest we forget!"Norman just nodded, stunned. He glanced down at the poppy. My God, what a precious object. He would treasure it forever. Carefully placing it in his shirt pocket, he zipped up his trousers and discreetly made his way to the toilets at the front of the church.The gents toilets were empty, and Jenna made her way past the row of urinals and into the end cubicle. Moments later, she heard the door open and Norman entered. He nervously glanced round."Pist, in here!" Jenna said, ushering him inside. She locked the cubicle door and closed the toilet lid."Who are you?" Norman spluttered. "You're a cunning little vixen! I want to take handfuls of you, you're amazing! You've got me well and truly foxed!""My name is Jenna," she replied. "And you're Norman, yes? Our new churchwarden?"He nodded."If you don't mind," she said looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, "I'd love to suck that hard cock of yours."Norman looked like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once. "Oh Jenna, I'd love for you to suck me," he sighed. "I'd love to cum in your mouth. I'd love to watch you swallow all of my thick cum!"Jenna sat down on the toilet and unzipped his trousers, then unbuckled his belt. Wanting full, unobstructed access to the churchwarden's member, she pulled his trousers and y-fronts down to his ankles. Norman said nothing, he simply stood there, watching her work her magic. He never once wondered why such a young and attractive woman would want to suck his cock so willingly. It had been years, decades even, since a woman had wanted to pleasure him! He was actually getting a blowjob from a stunning redhead, for free!""What a lovely cock you've got, Norman. I could see how big it was when you gave me that cheeky little glimpse of it in the church service earlier!" She wasn't lying. He did indeed have a nice plump shaft, with big balls, and wiry white pubes."Some men are like fine wine, they get better with age!"Without hesitation, she impaled her mouth on his shaft. Taking him deep while stroking him, licking him, and sucking him. Norman put his hand on the back of Jenna's head.Jenna cupped his balls, feeling them throb and pulsate, she knew precisely when he was about to cum. At the same time, she ran her other hand up under his shirt, feeling his hairy paunch."That tickles!" Norman murmured, sighing and groaning.Back in the church, the service had nearly ended, much to Gordon's relief. He really needed a pee. Thanks to Jenna, he needed a wank too, but there wasn't time. Whilst the vicar was reading out a lot of notices, he had just enough time to pop to the gents, relieve himself and head back to the organ to play the recessional hymn."Mmm," Jenna murmured, her mouth full of cock. Suddenly, Norman heard someone else enter the toilets."Jenna, someone's come in!" He whispered."Mmm," was all she could reply, and continued sucking him.Gordon hurried to a urinal and unzipped his trousers. As he began to pee, a loud groan came from the end cubicle. He ignored it and continued relieving himself. The mystery bloke in the cubicle made several loud grunts. Gordon glanced round. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "That poor sod's got a bad case of constipation."He finished, zipped up, washed his hands and hurried out of the toilets, wondering who the unfortunate man was."Oh, Oh fuck!" Norman groaned, as his climax neared. "Jenna! I'm going to give you a lovely, big creamy surprise!""Give it to me, Norman!" She felt his cock quiver and his balls tightened in her hand and she got her first taste of his cum. Jet after jet of his thick seed squirted from his cock into Jenna's eager mouth. He took out his cock to allow her to swallow his load and, as she was doing so, he stroked it and managed to squirt a few more sticky blasts all over her face."Ah," Norman panted. "That was wonderful Jenna, I enjoyed that more than anything. I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me! Did you like all my cum in that sweet mouth of yours?""Oh I loved that! Your cum tastes so good, Norman!" Jenna lowered her head and planted a kiss on his cock and then on his sweaty, hairy balls. Doing a dreadful attempt at a Northern Irish accent, she added, "It's the way you tell 'em!""Eh?" Norman said."My poor attempt at a Frank Carson impression," she replied. "My husband said you resemble him.""You, you're married?""Yes," Jenna said, standing up. "I'm the vicar's wife."A look of horror appeared on Norman's face. "Oh my God, ""Don't look so worried, Norman." She put her finger to his lips. "Our little secret, yes? Of course, you need to behave yourself from now on. A little birdy told me that you are quite liberal with those wandering hands of yours. No more bum pinching and goosing of any other ladies whilst you're in St. Michael's, is that understood?"He nodded, panic in his eyes."Say it out loud, in God's name. Because God knows everything.""In the name of God, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself," Norman said."That's my Norm," she replied, planting a kiss on his lips. "We'd better get out of here. Other chaps will be coming in. You go first.""R-right. Okay." Norman zipped up his trousers, fastened his belt, composed himself and hurried out of the cubicle. He opened the door and glanced round."There's no-one here. Quick, you dash into the ladies."Jenna ran past him. As she did, she pinched his arse. "Until next time then," she giggled.Norman breathed a sigh of relief and opened the main door that led back into the church. The service had ended and people were starting to file out of the pews. Norman wiped his forehead. His mind was spinning. Not looking where he was going, he almost walked into Gordon, who'd seen him leaving the toilets."Sorry," he muttered."No worries," Gordon replied. "Listen, there's a first aid kit and other medicine in the vestry. I can get you some Dulcolax tablets."Norman looked confused. "What?""No need to be embarrassed. All us older blokes get constipated from time to time. I couldn't help but overhear you in the gents earlier, and you seemed to be in bloody agony with your bowels!"To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Heh, usually Jen is told she's a fan of too many things, but she's been outdone in this episode! Sorry this episode is so late. Jen had a family emergency that took priority. You can read "It's a date, Rocker Boy" by Rough Hooves here: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/294245/its-a-date-rocker-boy You can find FanOfMostEverything here: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/1400/FanOfMostEverything

A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church"A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  More fun with the ever-horny Jenna and the good chaps of St. Michael's church and beyond!At the Vicarage Social, Jenna meets an ordained Catholic Priest.A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians. In her new role as a vicar's wife, she finds there are still many other men of the church in need of guidance,Reverend Simon Morris and his wife Jenna were holding their annual November social at the vicarage. November always seemed such a depressing month, when, after the initial excitement of Guy Fawkes Night, nothing much happened. Christmas was still a little too far away, although the shops had been selling festive stuff since September. It got earlier every year.The usual members of St. Michaels church were in attendance, Gordon Leesmith the church organist and choirmaster, Josh the curate, Bishop George, Yulia et al, plus a few new faces from other churches that Jenna hadn't seen before.Jenna was wearing a low-cut, black velvet dress and a diamond encrusted cross necklace. A couple of times, she caught a tall, serious-looking man in the corner of the room staring at her. He quickly averted his eyes when she looked at him."Wonder who he is?" The chap was clad in black and wearing a clerical collar, so evidently a vicar or priest of some kind. She knew most of the clergy at the local churches, but had never seen this guy before.Gordon was circulating, and on the hunt for a toilet. Beer always went straight to his bladder."Great atmosphere Jenna," he said, winking at her. "You look lovely by the way.""Why thank you," she winked back. "You look rather fine yourself. That navy blue suit, Umm. We need more men in suits. Down with casual dress I say!" The organist still turned her on, despite her offloading him onto Yulia's willing friend Martika. "A shame Martika couldn't attend tonight.""Yes, she's been struck down with flu. Been in bed all week.""Aww." They looked at each other. Gordon's face bore an expression that was pretty much screaming, "I am unbearably horny and really need a fuck right now, I know you're the vicar's wife now but I still fancy you like crazy and miss your lips on my cock, ""Er is there a downstairs loo here?" He said. "There's a queue for the upstairs one and I'm bursting for a pee.""Afraid not. Hard to believe in a house this size I know. There's always the back garden. Plenty of bushes and it's dark." Jenna replied, and tossing him a crumb of hope, added. "I might join you out there later."Gordon's face lit up. "Okay. Thanks!"Jenna scanned the living room. Presently, her husband appeared. "Nice to see so many guests. I didn't think so many would turn up!""I know, It's great!" Jenna couldn't help but notice that there were way more male guests than female ones. "I wonder why that is?" She grinned to herself. "By the way, who's that guy in the corner over there? He looks like he's at a funeral rather than a vicarage social. His face could turn milk sour."Reverend Morris looked. "Oh. That's Father Aiden. He's a Catholic priest. Only been in this neck of the woods for a few weeks. He's taken over at St Gregory's. Prior to that he was based in Liverpool. Huge Irish community there of course, and I believe he was born in Dublin.""Can't get more stereotypically Irish, can he?" The name, the look: Father Aiden had black hair, pale blue eyes and a bone-white complexion. His hairstyle struck Jenna as being somewhat old-fashioned, with sideburns."He'd be good at playing a vampire. Why's he looking so miserable? Is it because he's in a Church of England vicarage?"Reverend Morris laughed. "Ha! No, my love. All denominations are welcome at this vicarage, we've got the Oakwood Road Methodist guys here too and the Living Earth Free Church. From what I've heard, Father Aiden is just a very serious man. It's just how he is. He's probably enjoying himself, even though he looks miserable.""If he's a Catholic priest does that mean, ""Oh yes. Vow of celibacy.""That's the real reason he's miserable then!" Jenna replied."Indeed. Whilst I respect his vows, personally it's something I could never adhere to!""Nope. You like pussy too much, Rev.""Jenna, shush! You're making me blush!""I'm right though.""You know I can never get enough of your pussy," the vicar whispered in her ear. "I must go and mingle, before I get another hard-on."Jenna sensed the moment was right to get to know the mysterious Father Aiden a bit better. The priest was currently being bored to death by an elderly woman from St. Michael's who was lamenting the state of modern Britain.", And like I keep saying, this country went to the dogs long ago. Useless, lying politicians, rising crime, rising cost of living. Unbridled filth peddled on every street corner. I imagine, Father, coming from a big city like Liverpool, this small town must seem like paradise to you. Don't be fooled! County lines are a big problem! And the local park. Would you believe it? It's become a dogging hotspot, "Father Aiden said nothing and just nodded patiently at her. Sensing he needed rescuing, Jenna cut in."Sorry Mrs. Grimes, can I just interrupt and borrow Father Aiden for a minute? I need to discuss something.""Oh be my guest," the pensioner replied. "He's not got a lot to say.""Probably because he couldn't get a word in," Jenna muttered under her breath as Mrs. Grimes shuffled off. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jenna, Reverend Morris' wife. Nice to meet you, Father Aiden." She held out her hand, and he reluctantly shook it."Hello." The priest spoke at last, in a thick Irish accent, his dour expression unchanging."You look rather trapped. Too many people here for your liking?""A little." Father Aiden replied. He looked extremely uncomfortable in Jenna's presence. "I'm still, finding my feet around this area.""I'm sure you'll settle in just fine, Father. Have you tried any of the buffet? My husband's a great cook; he's made some great cakes and, ""Maybe later. I, I would appreciate a cup of tea if possible.""Oh no problem. Why don't you take a seat in the snug? You'll find it more relaxing in there. Less chatter.""Thanks." He skulked off. Jenna took a deep breath. "Blimey, what a cold fish. I'd get better conversation out of a statue. Still, early days. With a little bit of help, he's bound to open up sooner or later." Far from putting her off, Father Aiden's stern exterior only served to fascinate Jenna further. And the fact he was a celibate priest, .hmm. That couldn't possibly be good for him, could it?Moments later, she brought him a cup of tea. "Here you go," she said, putting it on the side table by his chair and taking a seat opposite him."Thanks, Mrs. Morris.""Jenna, please."He twitched. "Jenna.""I've never met a Catholic priest before," Jenna said, and Father Aiden straightened in the chair and braced himself for the usual questions he was always asked, usually concerning vows of celibacy. He swallowed as he noticed how close Jenna was to him.Damn. She looks so much like Róisín, but even prettier. I can't believe this."Well, we're not that rare," he mumbled, sipping his tea."I know very little about the Catholic church," Jenna continued. Nobody in my family is Catholic. Mostly Church of England, and a few Methodists, ""I'm sure your husband can help you with any questions you might have," Father Aiden said, and Jenna wondered if this was his polite way of saying "please leave me in peace."Pretending to be upset, Jenna stood up. "I, I'm sure you're right, Father. I'm sorry for bothering you." She hurried out of the snug.Alone at last, Father Aiden smacked his forehead. "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I always end up saying the wrong thing?""Definitely a lot of issues with that one," Jenna smirked to herself. A couple of chips on both shoulders methinks. I'm not giving up on the good Father though. Maybe in time, he'll soften a little."Gordon had successfully relieved himself on the rose bushes in the vicarage's back garden. "Ah, that's better. I'm sure those plants needed a good watering," he muttered, zipping up his trousers. Hearing the back door opening, he spun round."Hi there," Jenna smiled. "It's a bit cold out here, Gordon. You'll be getting a chill in your organ pipe.""Umm. I was hoping you might be able to warm it up."Jenna glanced round and took him by the hand. "In that case, come with me, "In the garage, Gordon's face flushed red with lust as Jenna leaned against a car, hiked up her dress and slipped her hand inside her drenched black panties. Her aroused smell met his nose and made his stiff cock throb more than ever. Already his pre-cum was leaking out. The fact that she was now the vicar's wife, was turning him on even more."Oh God, Jenna. You always know what buttons to press," Gordon groaned, as she ran her hand down his crotch, cupping his bulge."Don't you mean which stops to pull out?" She teased, unzipping his trousers. "Your cock is like the Wurlitzer organ in Blackpool Tower. It's always rising.""Ha-ha. That's why it needs you to play it," he chuckled. Jenna ran her hand down the front of his y-fronts. "Ooh, I'm not the only one here who's got damp undies!"Gordon groaned again. Jenna pulled out his cock and squeezed his balls. As she groped his manhood, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was."Nice and sticky, just how I like it." She knelt down and teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth."Umm yes!" Gordon hissed as the vicar's wife began giving him a good blow. He'd remembered just how brilliantly Jenna was at giving blowjobs. Back during that day in church, she'd given him some superb head.Jenna withdrew and reclined on the bonnet of the car. She rubbed her neatly-trimmed bush of pubic hair and Gordon knew what she wanted him to do. With just one finger at first, the organist began tracing circles around the outside of her wet pussy. Jenna moaned, enjoying the attention, but wanting more. Sensing this, Gordon spread her pussy lips with his finger and pushed inside her, spreading her walls and began to fuck her with it. Then he lowered his head. Very slowly at first, teasing her into a state of desperate pleasure, he tongued her, savoring her juices."Oh Gordon!" Jenna screamed. She began moving her body in time to his motions, trying to get his tongue to go even deeper. Then without warning, Gordon stopped his treatment, as he felt her hand brush against the head of his prick. "Slide your organ pipe in," she purred, knowing he got such a kick from these corny phrases."With pleasure!"Positioning the tip of his dick right up against her wet opening, he slid inside her and was soon thrusting with vigor."Umm, more Gordon! Yes!"He continued pumping her hard and fast, pulling almost all the way out and then slamming his dick all the way back in. He grabbed her hips to steady himself, still fucking her rapidly. Then their coupled bodies convulsed ferociously, and Gordon's pulsating member filled Jenna's snatch with his cum."Here endeth the organ lesson," Jenna said, planting a kiss on his lips.Gordon kissed her back. "Oh thanks Jenna. I enjoyed that immensely.""And you really needed that!" She replied, adjusting her clothing. "It's not good for an organist to have so much cum building up like that, there might be a risk of a ruptured bellows."Gordon zipped up his trousers. "Far worse than trapped wind!"They both laughed. "We'd better get back to the party. I'll go first, okay?"Jenna headed out of the garage. As she walked round the side of the house, she almost walked straight into Father Aiden."Oh!" He recoiled in shock. "Mrs, er, Jenna.""Father Aiden! You made me jump! Don't tell me you're looking for a downstairs toilet too?"He blinked. "Um no. I was, er, I wanted to apologies for earlier. I was very rude. Whatever must you think of me? You being the vicar's wife and all.""I'd say you're a chap who's just finding his way in a new place," Jenna smiled. Even in the dark, his watery blue eyes seemed to be staring right into her soul. "Anyways, apology accepted!" Before he could say another word, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Would you like another cup of tea, Father?"Father Aiden clutched his chest as though he'd glimpsed Satan himself. A look of horror on his face."What's the matter?" Jenna said, glancing back at him. "My tea isn't that bad is it?"The Priest is caught masturbating"Holy Spirit, come into my heart and show me my sins. Give me a proper spirit of repentance and the grace to make a good confession. Give me your peace that I might not be anxious but rather trust in your abundant mercies."Father Aiden said a prayer to himself. He was anxiously sitting in his confessional, awaiting the arrival of any lost sheep who were in need of his guidance. Here of all places, he needed to be focused on his job as a priest, yet his mind was on other things. Last night, he'd attended a gathering at St. Michael's vicarage. He hadn't really wanted to go, as social events made him uncomfortable, but had gone along to show willing. It had been his first social since he'd left Liverpool.It had all been going well until he'd met the vicar's wife, Jenna. The woman had shocked him to the core. She reminded him so much of Róisín, a twentysomething woman whom he'd developed feelings for back in Liverpool. He'd come perilously close to breaking his celibacy vows with her, they'd kissed passionately a couple of times in the confessional booth, until Father Aiden's nerves and guilt finally got the better of him and he'd pushed her away. Feeling it best to move on before things developed into something more serious, he quit his post and requested to be moved elsewhere. He'd narrowly avoided a scandal.Father Aiden was thirty-five, and had been a priest for eight years now. He recalled his early years, growing up in a small village near Dublin. As rigidly as he'd stuck to his celibacy vows since joining the priesthood, Father Aiden was no virgin. As an eighteen year old, he'd been an altar boy at his local church, and lost his virginity to Sara, a much older married woman who was a member of the congregation. They'd enjoyed passionate romps in the confessional booths, in the vestry, just about everywhere. Sara had a very high sex drive and didn't get any from her dull husband. Then a nightmare situation. Sara had fallen pregnant. Aiden's world had been rocked.In their strict Catholic community, even the thought of getting an abortion was out of the question. Aiden had resigned himself to becoming a young dad, but then just as he was starting to like the idea, fate intervened and Sara suffered a miscarriage. He didn't think it would have affected him so badly, but it did, and he blamed himself. It had been a punishment from God. From that day on, Father Aiden made up his mind to become a priest, much to the delight of his parents.However, much as he tried to bury any sinful urges, Father Aiden struggled. After Róisín, he hoped he wouldn't be attracted to another woman, but now he'd seen Jenna Morris, and been immediately smitten."Dear God, help me not to be so weak in body and mind. I must cast out these sinful thoughts."He was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the confessional."Bless me Father, for I have sinned." A middle-aged man said. "It's been a week since my last confession."Father Aiden composed himself and did his duty as a priest.Jenna grinned as an Amazon delivery van pulled up outside the vicarage."Oh good. It's arrived. That was quick."Reverend Morris was coming down the stairs as she was eagerly opening a parcel."What do you think?" Jenna said, holding up a nun costume."Ooh sexy. That'll turn heads at the church hall's fancy dress party next month! How very naughty and sinful. Better hope that Father Aiden doesn't turn up to that, eh? Might prove a bit too much for him! Talking of which, would you mind calling at St. Gregory's and dropping off that book he wanted to borrow?""No problem," Jenna replied. She picked up the paperback. "The Seeker by S G Maclean. Oh, he's into historical fiction is he? Well good to know he has other interests."Reverend Morris started laughing. "Heh, I don't know how I coped when the curate made that joke to him at the social. I know Josh had had way too much to drink but, dear God, I could've died when he started going on about Catholic priests lusting after choirboys.""What? I must've missed that! It must've been when I was f, er, talking to Gordon.""Yes. Father Aiden didn't see the funny side at all. I don't think Josh will even remember what he said to him. Anyways, I had to apologies!"Jenna couldn't help but snigger. "By the way, who are you going to dress up as for the party?""Haven't decided yet. You once said I looked like Prince Edward, perhaps I should dress as up in Royal robes and get a crown? Anyways, I must get going. I've got a meeting with Bishop George. What a busy week. Christopher's coming round tomorrow.""It's be lovely to see him. If the weather's nice, we can have a day out somewhere. I know how much he loves dinosaurs, why don't we take him to the museum?""Sounds great! Okay, I'll be back around four. Take care my love. Do give Father Aiden my best wishes." The vicar embraced her and they shared a lingering kiss, before he reluctantly tore himself away.Alone in the house, Jenna turned to the nun costume. Just how would Father Aiden react? "That would be a risk worth taking," she said out loud.Father Aiden had retired to his study. Saturdays were always quiet, and he relished this calm period. Reclining in a chair, he closed his eyes,Slowly, he unbuttoned his cassock. Before long he'd unzipped his trousers too. He was alone in the privacy of his study. His dick was now standing fully at attention. With mental images of Jenna Morris filling his head, Father Aiden took it in his hand and stroked it. He started talking out loud, as though reading out an erotic story where Jenna was pleasuring him."She settles to her knees between my thighs, opens my cassock and reaches up to open my trousers."He stopped and moaned."My willing lamb Jenna starts by licking the tip, tasting my precum. It is like silk. She then takes the head into her mouth and sucks it, darting her tongue into the slit. By now, I am rock hard, but still silent. She then takes my entire shaft into her mouth and keeps it there, running her tongue along the bottom. My cock shivers in her mouth; my only reaction. For what she is about to receive, I know she is truly thankful."Father Aiden was furiously pumping his cock up and down. "I gently place my hand on her head, and utter another prayer. My eyes are closed. I am about to come. I can't explain how glorious a moment this is. My lamb is so skilled, and now her sins shall be absolved."He was panting as he felt his orgasm building.Jenna parked the car in the street opposite St. Gregory's. The church was a grand old building, double the size of St. Michael's. The plaque on the railings described the church in eloquent fashion: ", an edifice in the Early English style, consisting of a basidial chancel, nave, transepts, north porch, lady chapel, and an embattled western tower, added in 1894 and containing 8 bells.""Never been in this church before. Oh well, first time for everything." with her usual bold as brass demeanor, she entered the church. "Wow, this is pretty ornate," she remarked. The place appeared deserted. No churchwardens or other staff anywhere. There was no sign of the priest. Jenna walked around the church, nosey-parkering here and there. She waited for a while, wondering if someone might come out of the confessional, but evidently that was empty too. Then she heard a muffled voice coming from a door at the back of the church."She knows I am ready and expects me to moan or yell, but all I do is tense slightly, for there are still other members of the congregation in the church. Then she feels my load in her mouth. She swallows everything, letting the last bit rest on her tongue so she can savor it." Father Aiden continued muttering to himself, in between moans.Jenna put her ear to the door. It was Father Aiden's voice alright, and he sounded like he was talking to someone on the phone. Then a load groan made her take a step back.."What the hell is he doing in there?" She wondered. She was about to knock, but what he said next made her gasp."She continues to suck my cock, a soft and gentle motion, caressing me with her lips and tongue, the feeling of this is indescribable. When she removes her mouth, she kisses the tip of my cock, and I moan, oh dear God, yes, yes!"Jenna squinted and peered through the keyhole. Her eye widened as she witnessed the priest reclined in a chair, masturbating furiously. He had that same miserable expression on his face, but his pale complexion was tinged with a blush, and he was grunting, seconds later he climaxed, shooting his seed into his free hand."Oh wow!" Jenna couldn't believe what she was seeing. "No wonder he was so miserable. Just look how horny the poor man is!" She licked her lips. The priest had an attractive uncut cock and to say it was large was an understatement. Though tempted to walk in and suck it right there, Jenna decided against it. "No. Not yet. I must wait for the right moment. And then I'll finally put a smile on this face."As he recovered from his orgasm, Father Aiden finished with a prayer."God, I thank you for your abundant mercies. No sin of mine is beyond your power to forgive, and your forgiveness has restored my soul to friendship with you. Thank you for never ceasing to love me even when my actions show that I do not love you fully. Thank you for seeking me out as the shepherd seeks the lost sheep."A dull thud outside the door brought him to his senses. Quickly, he wiped the cum of his hand with a tissue and zipped up his trousers. Cautiously opening the door, he looked around. The church was deserted, but there was a vague scent of a familiar perfume in the air, where had he smelt that before? He glanced down. And saw the book. He bent down to pick it up."Holy Mother of God, "Jenna had been here!Beauty and the PriestFriday night presented a perfect opportunity. Jenna's heart was pounding as she made her way to the clergy house where Father Aiden resided. The nun costume was proving to be quite itchy and uncomfortable, seeing as she wasn't wearing anything underneath it. To be expected of cheap Chinese tat purchased on Amazon. Still, the costume would serve its purpose, she hoped.Father Aiden reclined in an armchair as he read a chapter of the book that had been left in the church. Normally, he would be immediately engrossed in the story, but his mind was elsewhere."Did she hear what I was saying? She must've heard something."The thought that the vicar's wife might have overheard what he'd been saying was mortifying. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, jolting him back to reality."Who could that be at this late hour?" The priest mused as he got up. Usually the odd lost sheep called round, mostly Eileen Hattersley, a lonely old widow always in desperate need of a chat and reassurance. Then there was Bernard, a troubled fifty-something man whom Father Aiden suspected was closeted.He opened the front door. What he saw was almost sufficient to make him faint."Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""Uh, Jenna? What, the, what are you doing here?""Well Father, I would've thought my intentions were rather obvious. Please may I come in?"His stern expression remained the same. He took a deep breath as he ushered her inside. "I know why you've come," he said at last. "You left the book the other day, didn't you? You obviously heard me, in my study.""I did," Jenna replied. "And yes, I heard."His ice-cold calmness slipped a little. "Celibacy, is hard," he murmured, staring at the floor. "I can only apologies for the disgraceful things you heard."Jenna raised her hand and touched his cheek. "But you have nothing to apologies for, Father. "Hearing you saying your erotic thoughts out loud was a huge turn-on. And a relief as well. Nice to know that priests have lustful urges like the rest of us.""Oh dear God Jenna, that's just the problem. I'm having too many of these lustful urges. I'm a poor servant of God. I can't stick to my vows. I'm sinning whilst in church, what is God to do with me?"Jenna thought for a moment. "Your opinion of God is different from mine. I was always taught that because he sent Jesus, who died for us, we do not need to fear eternal punishment for sin. You seem such an unhappy man, Father. Why not be truly honest, as God knows your thoughts anyway. Tell me, what do you truly want?"The sight of her dressed as a nun and giggling in a coquettish manner was sufficient to send blood surging to his manhood. He didn't reply, just put his hands to her face and planted a soft kiss on her lips."Oh Father!" Jenna whispered.The priest recoiled at once. "I-I'm sorry. Please forgive me.""You are forgiven. Now please kiss me again."He gazed at Jenna, moving his head in closer to kiss her on the lips. She pressed up against his body, feeling his hands on the small of her back. He broke it off. Jenna used the opportunity to gently bite the side of his ear, running over his inner ear with her tongue. He stiffened as she moved across his ear, going down until she got to the lobe.Father Aiden moaned, his breath warm on her cheek. His open mouth pressing into it. He didn't respond further. Jenna dislodged herself from his ear, causing him to look up as he moved his head."Come," he said, taking her by the hand and leading her into the sitting room. Jenna liked the way he was taking control like this."Yes, Father."In the middle of the room, he stood facing her."Kneel."She did as he asked. Father Aiden unbuttoned his cassock, revealing a straining bulge in his black trousers."Please, heal me," he whispered.Jenna needed no further encouragement. Putting her hands together in a prayer, she smiled up at him. "For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful." Slowly, she unbuckled his belt and started on his trousers. Father Aiden's huge cock sprang free the moment she unzipped them, and Jenna was surprised that he was commando under there."Are all Catholic priests as well-endowed as you?" She commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his erection.Father Aiden simply shrugged.Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his entire holy tool in her mouth and she was nuzzling his pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. The priest could not believe his eyes as Jenna took him into her mouth. Never would he have dreamt that his dull evening would have ended like this. And yet here this beautiful young woman was sucking on his hardened member. He groaned with pleasure at the sensations of her warm mouth on him. He was afraid to move at first, so he stood still, giving her free reign.Jenna continued to suck and was amazed to see Father Aiden's erection become even thicker and harder under her ministrations. She had never seen anyone so well-endowed, putting even her husband to shame. Her hands pumped the bottom of his shaft up and down as she continued to suck.Without saying anything, Father Aiden beckoned Jenna to stand up. He led her to the armchair and raised the nun costume, above her waist. He let out a sigh as Jenna's unclothed pussy was revealed to him. He liked the fact she was unshaved down there, unlike so many of the women he'd seen in porn videos, waxed and plucked so much that their pubic areas reminded him of supermarket chickens. Father Aiden slid down and began to slowly lick, nibble and suck her clitoris."Oh my God Father, " Jenna exclaimed.Hearing her utter his title like that, emboldened him. He licked and fingered her some more, and could feel her impending climax building, her hips rose up, she arched her back and started to yell."Oh Father; oh, yes!Father Aiden worked his tongue up inside her womanhood, swirling it around. His upper lip brushed her clit and moments later she exploded, squirting on his tongue and face. With a single finger, Father Aiden took some of the juice and marked the sign of the cross on his forehead. Still, he said nothing! After she'd recovered, he stood up and gently helped Jenna to her feet. He looked deeply into her eyes, and brought her lips to his.They kissed passionately, Jenna tasting her own juices on the priest's tongue. Finally, Father Aiden withdrew, and removed his clothes. Jenna did the same, glad to be free of the itchy nun costume."Oh," she smiled, noticing his dark chest hair. She ran a finger through it. Father Aiden took her hands in his and pulled her down to the floor. He reclined on the sheepskin rug. The warmth and light from the wood burning stove played across her body as Jenna straddled the priest and slowly lowered herself onto his erect pole. His thick head slid into her, stretching her to the limit. She paused to get adjusted to the mass of flesh inside of her, then continued to push down, filling herself.Father Aiden groaned with pleasure as he felt himself enter Jenna's tight opening. She kept moving up and down his shaft, each time lowering herself further and further until he was completely buried inside of her. The feeling of his erection deep inside her tight wet opening was incredible. He reached up and caressed her breasts as Jenna rode up and down his throbbing rod.Pressure began to build in Father Aiden's groin as Jenna continued to slide up and down his erection, slick with her juices. Her hot tunnel gripped him like a vice and seeing this beautiful redhead riding him, eyes closed, mouth open gasping with pleasure as he kneaded her breasts was too much for him. He felt the pressure continue to build, then a tightening at the base of his balls until he felt like he was about to explode.The waves of pleasure built to a peak until the continuous pummeling pushed Jenna over the edge and her body convulsed as she climaxed a second time. As she writhed in pleasure above him, Father Aiden felt himself explode as he released his load deep into her womb. His cock seemed to spasm forever as he shot spurt after spurt of cum, filling her until he was completely drained. Jenna collapsed on top of him, also completely spent.When Jenna opened her eyes, Father Aiden was staring right back at her, and he was smiling. A truly lovely smile.To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

The Curate loses his virginity.A series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. At this Sunday's service, there was much talk of the upcoming harvest festival. Members of the congregation were encouraged to donate fruit and vegetables, along with non-perishable items for the local food bank.Jenna had made an effort and brought along a bag of apples. She placed the bag on the side table in the church hall."I don't know how a brazen hussy like you has the cheek to set foot in a church."Jenna remained calm, as she turned to face Mrs. Norris. "Well I'm a Christian, the same as you.""Huh! Christian my foot. I saw what you and the organist were getting up to and I think it's disgusting! In the church of all places! And he's old enough to be your father!""Well if you clutch those pearls of yours any tighter they'll crumble to dust. And Gordon and I happen to be consenting adults. Single consenting adults. So there.""Why you, you, .horrid little slag!" Mrs. Norris fumed, lip quivering. She stormed off.Jenna exhaled and rolled her eyes."Coffee or tea?" a friendlier voice asked. It was Debbie, the Sunday school teacher, who was volunteering to do today's hot drinks rota in the hall."Tea please," Jenna replied."You ok?""Yeah. I don't think I'll be on her Christmas card list.""Don't let that old bag get to you. She's a nasty one. She's horribly ageist. Not to mention xenophobic too. I overheard her mocking Yulia's English skills last week. I can't stand her. Her husband's not that bad, he's a tedious fusspot, but there's no malice in him. But her, she's poison.""I heard her hubby spreads gossip on Facebook." Jenna said."More likely that's her doing." Debbie replied. "I'd be surprised if John Norris even knows how to switch on a laptop."A brief chill ran through Jenna. What if Mrs. Norris were to post some bile about her online? "I don't use social media anymore," she said. "Briefly poked my nose into Twitter as a teen, but didn't like the pile-ons.""Wise. I'm on Facebook, but only to keep up with church stuff. I never post anything about my private life. I imagine Mrs. Norris would have a stroke if she knew I was dating a woman. A married woman at that. Keep it to yourself. I'm not ready to come out yet.""Don't worry, I won't say a word."Jenna sipped her tea quietly as she observed the other members of the congregation file into the hall. She was hoping Reverend Morris would soon arrive, but after fifteen minutes, there was still no sign of him. Then there was Gordon; he never came into the hall after a service, and he'd sent her that amusing text message on Friday, about Charles Wesley and his "bulging hymn book."She headed out of the hall, in search of Gordon, when Josh the curate came staggering in, carrying a massive pile of hymn books. He almost collided with Jenna and dropped a couple of books."Oh! I'm so sorry!" Josh stammered. "How clumsy of me."Jenna bent down and picked up the books. "You're loaded up like a pack horse. Let me give you a hand. Where are you taking all these?""Um. So kind!" His pale cheeks went pink. "The storeroom at the far end of the hall. These are spare hymn books.""Ok. Lead the way. By the way, you haven't seen the vicar have you?"""Oh, he and the organist are in a meeting. One of the organ pipes has just been repaired.""Damn," Jenna muttered under her breath. "Oh dear. How sad. I guess he'll miss his tea and biscuits."She followed Josh down to the storeroom. She'd never paid much attention to the curate before, but looking at him now, she realized that he was rather cute. Mid-twenties, tall and stocky with fair hair and a chubby face. There was an endearing innocence about him. Reverend Morris had said he was hoping to complete his ordination next year and become a fully-fledged vicar. He'd been impressed by his devotion to the church - but he needed to come out of his shell a bit and interact more with worshippers. Josh was a shy man and lacking in self-confidence. Remembering this information made Jenna smile.I think this innocent curate needs some other kind of help,The storeroom was vast, and crammed from floor to ceiling with box files, books, old furniture and plastic crates."Holy sh,, I didn't know this room existed. And what a lot of stuff for one small church!" Jenna exclaimed."Heh, yeah." Josh said, putting the books down. "It's not just for St Michael's. We share it with St John's and the Methodist church on Oakwood Road."Jenna began putting the books on the shelf."Um you don't need to do that,”"Jenna."Josh blushed again. "Jenna. It's kind of you to do that but,”"Oh I don't mind. Why should you have to do all the donkey work? This room is a tip. Besides, a good Christian should help others, right? Especially the vicar's right-hand man. That's what a curate is, yes?"Josh relaxed a bit. "Pretty much, yeah. Like Batman and Robin.""Have you always wanted to be a curate?"Josh sat down on a stool. "In truth, no way. I wasn't religious at all when I was a kid. I suffered from crippling shyness. I used to dread being asked to read in front of the class. When I was ten, my dad walked out, and that affected me a lot. Haven't seen him since. Mum turned to drink, I relied on my grandad for support. He became a father figure to me. He used to be a vicar. Thanks to him I survived my teens and passed my exams. I was eighteen when he died. That's when I decided I wanted to follow in his footsteps. Without him - and God, I fear, well I may have gone down a dark path. Got in with a bad crowd. Taken drugs, self-harmed, maybe ended up in jail.""Wow." Jenna replied, realizing how cosseted and safe her upbringing had been. "Well I'm so glad your grandad was there for you.""There are still days when I doubt myself and I'm in a bad place. I feel useless.""Don't put yourself down," Jenna said, walking towards him. "You're an amazing role model, especially for younger people."Josh blinked. "You, think so?""I do. Plus, you're really cute. Has a girl ever told you that before?"Josh blushed. "Err, no-one except my Nan. I don't think she counts.""Women round here must be blind," Jenna added, making him squirm with embarrassment. She leant forward and planted a kiss on his lips. He trembled, cheeks turning redder."J-Jenna, don't,”"It's alright Josh. You're not committing a sin or anything. We're not inside the church, if that's you're worried about.""N-no, it's not that. I, um,” The curate sighed. "I, I'm just scared of, I don't know if I can, do this."She already knew he was single and straight, but decided to question him. "Do you have a girlfriend?""No, but, um, that's the problem really. I'd like one, but I wouldn't know how to tell her,”Jenna stroked his arm. "Tell her what?""I worry she'd laugh at me.""Josh. Whatever it is, I promise I would never laugh at you. And I will understand."He looked down. "Shit. I'm twenty-five. And I'm still a virgin! I've never gone beyond kissing a girl."She kissed his cheek again. "Oh Josh. That's nothing to feel awkward about. In fact I admire you. In this age when we're bombarded with over-sexualized imagery 24/7 both online and offline, finding someone who's chosen to wait is pretty awesome in my opinion. I lost mine just days after reaching the age of consent. I couldn't wait to lose it. But that's just me,”"Yeah but, I, um,”She pulled him to his feet and gently coaxed the truth out of him. "You want to lose your virginity, yes?""More than anything. But, dating today is scary. It's a minefield. Especially after Me Too. I'm afraid. I don't want to say the wrong thing and come across as some horny creep,”Jenna held back a chuckle. Mrs. Norris probably thinks of me as a horny creep. She thought."I get that. But trust me. I don't think a sweet, kind-hearted man of God like you could ever be a creep. Horny yes, nothing wrong with that of course." She winked at him and he gulped. "How about it? I think you're ready right now."His eyes widened. "W-what? Here?""Why not? It's nice and private, And you're a really sexy curate!" Her face was just inches from his own, hovering there. Then her lips were on his, dancing there softly for a moment before pulling away."Jenna,” He was already rock hard, and hoped his cassock had disguised this fact."Shush. You're very special." She whispered, barely audible. "You're warm, caring, You're strong. You deserve to be experience the joys of the flesh." She kissed him again. It's okay to feel nervous. First time is always a bit nerve-racking. But just relax. You'll be just fine,”What an adorable lamb to the slaughter, Jenna thought to herself. He's so scared and unsure. I've never seduced a virgin before, so I'd better not go too hard on him. I do love a challenge. With a bit of encouragement, this sweet guy could have real potential.The touch of her lips sent a fire through his body, a jolt that brought a tingle to every micron of his skin. "Oh, Jenna!""Shhh." Her lips caressed his own, then his nose, his ear. "Don't talk just now, okay?""Mmm?"She kissed him again, gently caressing his upper lip between her own. At last, he responded."Josh." Jenna smiled cheekily. "You're a pretty good kisser, you know that?""Really?"Just relax. I'm not going anywhere, there's no rush. All we have to do is discover each other. There's no hurry. No-one's going to come in here. I imagine the vicar will be busy for ages."Jenna ran her hand down the front of his black cassock. "Oh my, you're more than ready. "Let's get these buttons unfastened." She knelt before him, opening the cassock and revealing the black trousers underneath. And another straining crotch bulge."I'm going to worship you," she whispered, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers. Josh was wearing plain black briefs underneath. It was fun seeing the different types of undies men wore. First there was Reverend Morris with his "holy boxers," then Gordon and his sensible white y-fronts, now Josh with smart black tight-fitting briefs."Everything will be fine. I promise. Close your eyes if it makes you feel better, okay?"The curate hesitated still, but Jenna's smile was reassuring and gentle. "I promise you'll like it." With a shudder, Josh squeezed his eyes tight as his trousers and underwear were lowered, and he could feel the cool air of the room, then Jenna's warm breath on his manhood."There we are."He couldn't resist a peek, through half-closed eyes. He was painfully stiff, of course, harder than he'd ever been in his life, but he didn't need his eyes to tell him that. He shivered as Jenna ran her hand through his pubes and stooped to kiss him there. He gasped as her smooth palm encircled him."Oh my God!""Mmm. So beautiful. Truly God's gift to women. Just relax, don't fight the feeling. Isn't it nice?" Jenna kissed the very tip of his member, and he gasped and moaned, his muscles tensing. "Don't fight it now Josh, just let the feelings come. Relax and let it take you. You don't have to hold it back, just let it come." With that, she closed her lips around his head, tasted him with her tongue."Uh! Oh Jesus!" The curate groaned. The crescendo was boiling in him now, wonderful and frightening and exhilarating. Nothing could have prepared him for the warm embrace of a woman's mouth, the slight roughness of her tongue as she rolled it up and down his length. No porn, no fantasy could have approached the sensation of her lips gently drawing on his cock, coaxing him towards a peak of indescribable pleasure. The fire was in him and around him, consuming him and his thoughts until all that he was became the connection with her, his flesh and her mouth. Her hands cradled his cock gently as he built towards climax, his breathing becoming rapid and shallow."Oh,”"Let it come."Josh sighed deeply in relief as Jenna enveloped him again, shuddered as he felt himself swell between her lips, as he released himself to her, surrendered to her, spurting his cum. She lingered over his manhood, slowly coaxing him down from the heights of his ecstasy. She gently licked his shaft and kissed a drop of his essence from the tip, and smiled up at him."That wasn't so bad, was it?" She said, standing up. "Did you enjoy your first blowjob?""Jenna. Fucking hell!""I'll take that as a yes?""Yes!" he gasped."Oh good. Because we're not done yet. You don't get off that easily you know!" Jenna began unfastening her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. Josh's eyes widened. She wasn't wearing any panties.An old, battered table was in the middle of the storeroom. Jenna cleared it and reclined on it, spreading her legs and unfastening her blouse. No bra!"Your turn."Josh crossed himself."Just trust your instincts." She whispered, lowering herself onto her back. Josh stared at her for a second, dumbstruck by her beauty and timid as a deer. Her gently smiling face and the flowing red hair that framed it, the round fullness of her breasts, her long legs, and the tantalizing lure of her wet womanhood between,Finding his courage at last, Josh moved close. With a shaky hand he reached out and tentatively cupped her left breast. Tracing the nipple with his thumb, ever so gently."Mmm nice, Josh. Keep going!"Encouraged, Josh lowered his mouth to her other breast, the memory of the delightful sensations she'd given him earlier fresh in his mind. He felt her run her fingers through his short blonde hair as he tasted her with his tongue, heard her sigh as he closed his lips around her nipple."Gently now.""Sorry!"The curate feasted on her breasts for a bit longer, before moving down to her abdomen, planting more kisses, then he paused for a moment. Jenna said nothing, silently urging him to carry on, and he did. Tentatively, he kissed the inside of her thighs, tracing a finger through the trimmed hair above her slit.Josh continued to lovingly kiss her thighs, his nerves beginning to fade. The heady scent of her was overpowering, emboldening him to trail a finger between her cunt lips. The wetness he felt there surprised him, and he glanced up."You're doing great, Josh." Jenna answered in a throaty whisper. "Please don't stop."He ran a finger over her clit, causing her to let out a moan. Lowering his head, he caressed her softly with his mouth, tasting her."Oh Josh,” He suckled gently on her clit and she let out a scream."Jenna?" He pulled away from her, his fear returning. "Did I hurt you?""No Josh. It was incredible, that's all. When you licked me down there, wow. You sure know how to thrill a woman. You learn quick! But don't make me cum just yet. Because I want you inside me when it happens."Josh's heart leapt into his throat. "Oh,”"Are you ready?""Um, but protection, I-I don't have a condom,”"It's okay, you don't need to worry. I'm on the Pill.""Oh, right. Good,”"Think of this as doing God's work," Jenna purred, urging him to get on with it. She was eager to feel that virgin cock inside her.Slowly he positioned himself above her on the creaking table. Jenna took his cock in her hand, guiding him. He felt the head of his organ nestle inside her."Lord in Heaven!" It was such exquisite torture, fighting the urge to cum as fast as he could. The feel of her cunt as it sheathed him was beyond even the joys he'd felt already.At first, he slipped in and out of her slowly. He buried his face in her neck."Umm, oh God Josh. Yes! Go harder!"Jenna slowly relaxed her control, allowing him to work his cock in and out of her more forcefully. He thrust in deep, as far as he could, and gasped, savoring the sensation."Oh Josh, that's so good!"He speeded up, as she wrapped her legs round him. Soon he was pounding her like a pro."Jenna!" He could feel his climax coming now, a mighty force of almost Biblical proportions. Just as Jesus drove out many devils, Josh drove out his virginity, casting it aside forever. He'd been freed."Ugh!" With a roar of release the curate came, filling Jenna's womanhood with his seed. Josh wasn't sure how long his orgasm lasted. But he knew that it was wonderful, an epiphany of sensation, and that Jenna writhed and gasped in the throes of her own climax in perfect harmony with his.When they'd both calmed down, Jenna held him close and kissed him. "Are you okay? You were amazing, Josh, do you know that? How are you feeling?""Just fantastic, absolutely fantastic! I, wow. That was, incredible. Um, do you mind if I say a quick prayer for both of us?""Not at all. You go ahead."When he'd finished, he opened his eyes and looked at Jenna, who was smiling broadly. "You are going to become a bloody amazing vicar!" She said.An Erotic Dream & an organ lesson.T'was the Year of Our Lord 1739, and on a road bound for London, weary preacher and hymn writer Charles Wesley had just arrived at a tavern."Innkeeper! I hath been riding all day and my poor horse be in the great need of water and rest. As am I." Charles said."Fear thee not, good fellow, I'll tend to thine horse!" The innkeeper replied. "If it's a room for the night you're looking for, then ye hath come to the right place. Here at the Lamb Inn, there's always a warm greeting for a weary traveler. I'll leave ye in the capable hands of my fine wench Jen, who is adept at making gentlemen feel welcome,”"Greetings to you sir!" Jen said, and Charles was a little taken aback by this stunning redheaded wench. "If you'd like to follow me, I'll lead you to your bedchamber." She picked up a candle and gave him a seductive smirk."Gladly, Miss!" Charles replied, following her up the creaking wooden staircase. In the main room, sounds of merriment filled the air as many men supped ale and enjoyed the company of willing wenches."I see you're a man of faith, sir," said Jen as she reached the top of the stairs. "Have you travelled far?""Aye, all the way from Bristol. I write many hymns. I'm going to visit my older brother John, who's in London. He's a preacher too. In fact he,”"Oh gosh, of course! Your brother must be John Wesley, founder of that Methodist movement I keep hearin' about!""That's right! I'm Charles Wesley."Jen entered the bedchamber. "Here we are, Mr. Wesley. I trust the room is to your liking? This happens to be a new room - never been used before. Bed never slept in, chair never sat on, chamber pot never,”"Ah, glorious!" Charles interrupted her. "It looks most excellent. I am indeed blessed to have been afforded such kindness. God is good!""Mmm, thanks be to God," Jen replied, eyeing up Charles. He was young and rather attractive for a man of the cloth. Most of the clergy she'd encountered in her life had been very old men."There be a fresh jug of water on the table for you, Mr. Wesley. We're lucky here. The Lamb has a deep well which provides safe, clean water to drink. That's why we get so many visitors desperate to quench their thirst without worry of getting the flux."Charles nodded as he put his bag down on the chair and removed his black robe. That four poster bed looked so inviting."Why don't you sit on the bed, Mr. Wesley? I cannot help but wonder, after all that riding, do you not grow a little stiff?""Um, I am a little stiff, yes.""Then come over here and sit beside me." Jen said, patting the bed. "I'd be interested to hear about your hymn writing."Charles bashfully did as she asked. "Well right now, I am working on a "Hymn for Christmas Day." But I confess I have only written the first verse."Perchance could I hear this first verse?" Jen replied.Charles nodded."Hark how all the Welkin ringsGlory to the King of Kings,Peace on Earth, and Mercy mild,God and Sinners reconciled!""I'd say that's a marvelous first verse," said Jen. "Very stirring, very uplifting. It makes one, rise to the occasion." Her hand had somehow ended up on his thigh."Oh do you think so? That pleases me greatly, Miss! Now if only I could complete it."Jen removed her mobcap, revealing long, tumbling red locks. Charles gazed, mesmerized. "By all the saints, you're a pretty woman, Miss,”"Jen, Mr. Wesley, perhaps I can be of some help to you." She blew out the candle. "Oh my! Now we're in the dark. How careless of me! We'll just have to,”"Oh Miss Jen!" Charles gasped as her hand groped him in an intimate place."I think you've risen to the occasion Mr. Wesley!"A few moments later and the good wench had relieved the dear Mr. Wesley of his breeches and cast off the rest of his apparel, including a periwig. The preacher produced naked, stiff, and erect, a wonderful maypole. Jen put her hands to this fine example of maleness and her actions had the desired effect."Ah! I think my inspiration is returning!""I'm filled with joy, Mr. Wesley! Tis an honor to help you!""Joyful all ye Nations rise,Join the Triumph of the Skies,Universal Nature say"Christ the Lord is born to Day!""That's a wonderful second verse!" Jen ran her tongue round the preacher's erect member, before taking his entire length into her mouth."Oh Lord in Heaven, I have given in to sin, but if the sin results in a completed hymn, will thou look upon me with mercy?" Charles gasped, as the pleasure overwhelmed him.Jen withdrew. "The Lord will indeed pardon you, Mr. Wesley. Now please relax and enjoy my help!""Ah, oh my God, thine tongue is divine, it feels so good!"Jen sucked, licked and teased Charles' cock until he could take no more."Miss Jen! I'm going to spend! Oh, yes!""Ahh, I have been anointed by your holy essence, Mr. Wesley!" Jen giggled as she eagerly gobbled up his seed.Charles' face bore an expression of utter bliss and satisfaction. "Oh Miss Jen. I am so grateful God delivered me to this inn. What sweet pleasures you have afforded me this evening!"A furious knocking on the bedchamber door disturbed the blissful ambience."Jen! Jen! You need to get up!" a woman shouted."Is that, the innkeeper's wife?" Charles wondered, still dazed after his powerful orgasm.Jen licked the remaining cum off the preacher's softening cock. "Mm, sounds like Mother. But wait, Mother died of smallpox ten years ago, so how, ?"Everything seemed to fade away in a strange haze."Jen! You're going to be late for work! Wake up!"Jenna finally awoke. "Huh? What?""Are you alright?" Her mum shouted. "Answer me or I'm coming in.""Um yeah. I'm fine Mum!" She rolled over and reached for her smartphone. Squinting, she looked at the clock."Shit! I overslept!"Breakfast was a rushed affair, with Jenna barely able to drink half a cup of coffee and a piece of toast."For goodness cake, slow down before you choke on that," her mum said."Can't believe I overslept. I set my phone. I've never done that before." Jenna said."Hey, we all do it sometimes. Though your exertions at church no doubt kept you up late. Your dad and I noticed how much time you've been spending at St. Michael's. Now feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but what's with the sudden obsession with church? You've never been interested before. You used to laugh at Gran for being in the Mother's Union.""I guess the pandemic made me think about things differently," Jenna lied, trying to think up a good excuse. "I know I never attended church much before, but I never stopped being a believer.""That's great, Jen. I'm glad it makes you happy. I just hope you're not spending all your time with old people, though. It's good to mix with people your own age.""Oh there's a good mix of different ages at St Michael's. They're not all boomers, Mum. The curate, Yulia and Debbie aren't much different to me. And Reverend Morris, .he's amazing.""I'm sure he is," her mum replied, with a wry grin. "You out tonight?""Yes. Choir practice." Jenna grabbed her bag and car keys."By the way, who's Charles Wesley?""Um, what?""You were yelling his name over and over in your sleep. You must've been dreaming.""Oh. Well he's a guy who wrote a lot of great hymns. He lived in the 18th century. He wrote that famous carol "Hark the Herald Angels Sing", although the original words were different. Gotta go. Love you. Bye!"Jenna's mum shook her head. "Charles Wesley? When I was growing up, I used to dream about Brad Pitt.""I have got to get a place of my own," Jenna muttered to herself as she headed to the car. "That was cringe."Jenna had prepared herself for her evening "choir practice" with Gordon, by wearing her best lingerie and a sexy dress that perfectly highlighted her curves and cleavage. The organist himself had also made an effort, by wearing his best suit and tie. With his black robe unfastened, he resembled an old-fashioned headmaster."Hello there!" Gordon said, grinning from ear to ear. Whoa, she looked drop-dead gorgeous. He was practically drooling like a dog in heat."Not so bad yourself, Gordon!" Jenna replied. "Love the suit. Now all you need is a cane.""A cane?""To punish me with. You see, I've been a naughty girl. I forgot to practice that piece of music you mentioned.""Oh dearie me," Gordon said, walking over to her. "Whatever am I to do with such a naughty girl? Never mind. I'm sure you can make it up to me some way,”He sat down on the organ stool. "Come sit in my lap, Jenna. We're going to play a little tune together. I'm sure you can do it.""Why Gordon, I'm not sure I can play this. It's a bit of a step up from the piano.""Just give it a try. I'm sure you'll learn quick!" He winked. "Try the third manual," he added, indicating one of the keyboards.Jenna bit her lip and slid onto Gordon's lap. She deliberated wiggled about a bit, causing him to let out a groan. "This seat is a little, hard!"Jenna began playing the first few notes. "You're right, Kings and Queens does sound fantastic on a pipe organ. I'd have never guessed you were an Ava Max fan, Gordon.""Hah, I'm not. Can't stand modern pop music. But the younger members of the choir are always begging for this song. You're great at this!"As Jenna continued to play, Gordon began massaging her breasts and kissing her exposed neck."Oh Gordon," Jenna sighed."There's a part-time job available,” he continued, between kisses. "An assistant choirmaster and pianist at the Sunday school. Three days a week. The school isn't just open on Sundays anymore. There's a crèche and breakfast club on Wednesdays. They do after-school sessions for kids who have special needs. It's not bad money. I know you've got all the relevant qualifications. If you're interested, I could easily pull a few strings and get you in."Jenna suddenly halted her playing. "Wow, are you serious?""Of course I am. Look, the young 'uns think I'm some kind of ogre. And they're probably right. But you, you'd be such an asset to the school. And tell me honestly, do you truly enjoy working in a call center?""I hate it. The pay is shit and I hate my boss. Now she's a real-life ogre.""Exactly. Your talents are wasted in a dead-end job like that, Jenna. It's up to you of course, but please give it some thought."She turned round to face him. Kissing him hard the lips, she slipped her arms round his shoulders. "I've given it thought. I accept! Now why don't you let me thank you properly, Gordon?"Jenna hiked up her dress, and unfastened Gordon's belt. She unzipped his trousers, pushed down his underpants, and his rock hard erection sprang free from its encumbrance. Unable to contain himself any longer, Gordon pulled aside the crotch of her damp panties, positioned himself to her entrance, and pushed himself into her. The soft lips between her legs parted, and she threw her head back in sudden ecstasy as the organist began thrusting himself in and out of her warm body, slowly at first, then building in speed.Outside, a black 4 by 4 had just pulled up in the church car park. John Norris got out of the driver's side and furiously slammed the door shut."John please, don't do this!" his wife pleaded. "Not in the church!""Look Patricia, I want to get to the bottom of this. First Gordon angrily accuses me of spreading lies on Facebook. He called me "the biggest shit-stirrer in this church" to my face! Now the chaps at the Rotary Club have frozen me out. They said I've been making sexist jokes and racist comments about Ukrainians! I ask you, when have I ever made a racist comment? I haven't a racist bone in my body! And I've never signed up to Facebook either. Someone is trying to smear my name. If you ask me, Gordon's the one behind it all! Well, we'll see what he has to say, man-to-man."A look of horror swept Mrs. Norris' face. "You can't go in there! I can hear the organ - the choir are in there!""I don't care if the whole bloody town is in there!" John yelled, a display of anger that was most unlike him. "This has gone too far. I can't believe Gordon could be so vindictive. He'd a bad-tempered sod, but I never thought he'd do this. Libel is a serious offence."He stormed into the church and marched down the aisle, his panicking wife rushing after him."Alright alright, it wasn't Gordon. It was me!" She grabbed his arm. He halted."What?""I did it."John shook his head. "Why are you trying to protect him? Do you fancy him or something? Is there more to this?""No! No of course I don't! Look, I signed up to Facebook so I could access the church page but I used your name. I know I shouldn't have but, well surely you must know how members of this church treat me? I'd have been blocked immediately!"John's face had gone through several shades of red and was now the color of raw steak."You, Did what? You've been spreading lies and racist comments using an account with my name? What the hell am I married to?" He walked round the side of the organ. "Bloody hell!"Mrs. Norris shoved him aside, wondering what had shocked him. "That's her! She's the one who's caused all this! The little tart! She's bringing filth and depravity to this church!"John glared at his wife. "I'd say your own venom has done that already, Patricia." He turned and stormed off. "I'm going home. To pack a few things. I'm going to stay at my brother's for a bit. And you, well you can go to Hell.""Gordon, do you hear somebody shouting?" Jenna sighed as she felt his warm cum fill her."Probably just a bit of rowdy teen behavior outside," Gordon replied with a smirk.To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Room and Bored: Part 3 Deep in the maze. Based on a post by Krosis, in 5 parts. Listen to the ►  Podcast at Steamy Stories.   Dale clipped an errant branch from the hedge, dropped it into the wheelbarrow, and continued further into the maze. With the 8-foot-high hedges, it was difficult to tell where he was on Trish's property, but he figured he'd be able to find his way out, how big could it actually be? He swiped his arm across his forehead. The afternoon sun was beating down, the last gasp of a tenacious Summer as they moved into October. He turned a corner and stopped. There was a clearing there, with a teeny cottage, not much bigger than the tool shed. The door to the cottage was open, and he could see a slim hand dipping between toned legs as their owner lay upon a bed within. "About time! Get in here, Dale!" Trish called as she raised her head to regard him, the older blonde's eyes half-lidded from pleasure. He dropped the branch cutter and strode forward. As he got closer, he could see that she was laying upon a twin bed which barely fit the space available. Her bikini bottoms were off, and the fingers pushing into her vaginal folds were soaked. "Come get your cock wet," she ordered him, keeping an eye on it as it pushed out his shorts. In a flash, his shorts and underwear were off and he dove between her legs. "Ooh!" she grunted as he fell upon her. "Eager beaver! Oh, I guess that's more me, mmm, " She reached forward and stroked his thick 8 incher before directing the head to her wanton pussy. "Umm, " he ummed, and paused. She paused as well. "Hm? What's up?" "I, uh, I've never, " Her face lit up. "You're a virgin? Oh, honey, every boy should have their first with an experienced woman. C'mon, " She slotted the head of his cock between her spread, wet vulva. He had actually thought that he might lose his v-card to another experienced woman, Nancy, but he knew now that that wouldn't happen. As she pulled an inch of his cock inside her he asked, "Is this okay without a condom?" "Oh, bless you, Dale, thinking of the possible consequences, but I'm clean. A boy's first time shouldn't be with one of those nasty prophylactics on his Johnson." With that, she pushed her hips toward him and another inch of his member went inside her. "Oh, damn, that's big," she moaned. "Glad I prepared myself." Trish hadn't mentioned pregnancy. She only had one child, after all, and it seemed that she loved sex, so Dale assumed that she was on the pill or some other method of birth control. He pushed, and another inch went in. "Yes, " she moaned. "C'mon, give me that cock, " She wrapped her long legs around him and pulled him in further. Soon, he was all the way inside her. "Oh wow, I feel so full, I think you're touching my cervix." Dale's cock felt fantastic. He was finally all the way inside a sexy woman, and he was making her feel good! Elated, he pulled back a bit and thrust in again. "Ooh, " Trish cooed. He pulled back a bit more and slowly pushed back in. "Heh, you're making love to me, Dale," she whispered into his ear, "but I need you to fuck me, hmm?" Dale pushed himself up and looked at Trish beneath him, beautiful, sexy, and wanton. He reached down and pulled her bikini top up to her neck, freeing her teardrop tits. Her areolae were wide and pink, with substantial nipples, and he moved to take one into his mouth, making her moan again. Then he pulled his hips back and rammed himself deep into her. "Fuck! Yes, like that, " Trish had definitely felt the tip of his cock smack her cervix that time. It had been slightly uncomfortable, but mixed with the sensation of his pleasurable thickness sliding through her wet pussy, it was pushing her buttons. He withdrew and slammed in again. She was so wet that there was nothing keeping him from moving into a steady rhythm, pummeling her insides as he lost his virginity. Trish was glad that she had sucked him off earlier, or the poor virgin would probably have cum already, she figured. She had chosen correctly with Dale. Her last lover had been just over 6 inches in length, and not quite as thick. Both of them had been larger than her husband, the poor man simply unable to keep up with her demanding libido. Dale had swapped to sucking her other boob. Trish normally kept her bra or bikini top on during sex with her lovers, as she was a bit embarrassed about how her tits had started drooping after giving birth to Helena, but Dale didn't seem to care. Some movement to the side caught her eye, and she saw her 18-year-old daughter peeping in through one of the little cottage's small windows. Helena saw that her mother had noticed, but defiantly stayed put. Trish had a delicious thought. Making sure her voice was loud enough to be heard outside, she said, "Ooh, Dale, you're hammering away at the entrance to my womb, where my daughter Helena came from. You gonna fill me with a nice hot load of your sperm? See if you get lucky and knock me up?" Dale slowed down, shocked. She wasn't on the pill? She moved forward and whispered into his ear, "Don't worry, I got fixed years ago; I just like pretending." Then she lay back and called out again, "C'mon, stud, put your cum deep inside me. See if you got what it takes to make me a momma again." Emboldened, Dale increased his speed, ramming into her even harder than before. "Yeah? You think I can't?" he responded. "I'm gonna, um, make your stomach swell, N--Trish!" His mind was awhirl, had he almost said Nancy's name? She didn't notice. "Yeah! Fucking do it, you sexy young thing! I can feel that sperm rocket of yours knocking at the entrance to my baby chamber." She wrapped her arms around him and tightened her legs. She was actually getting into this, imagining Dale's potent sperm roiling in his testicles, getting ready to rush up and invade her forbidden depths. "Oh God, " he moaned, moving into long strokes, slamming himself deep inside the older woman. He could feel the telltale tingling along his cock as his balls pulled themselves up toward his body. "Yes, yes, sperm me, " Trish moaned. She was so close, Dale slammed into her one last time, hard. "Uh!" "Yes! Fuck!" She felt his cock throb as he held it as deeply as possible inside her, and then felt a warm, wet pressure there. In her mind's eye she could see Dale's semen splashing against her cervix, insistently pushing against the entrance to her womb, and then came herself. "Ah! Oh!" Her cervix, she knew, was now opening to him, sucking some of his sperm into her uterus. "Uh huh huh uh, " she moaned wordlessly. She heard soft gasping from outside the cottage, and knew that her daughter was cumming as well. She could no longer see Helena's face in the window. Dale hadn't noticed, and started to thrust again, instinctively extending his orgasm and spurting more cum deep inside the older woman. "Huh, uh, " Finally, he fell upon her, spent. "You sure you've never done that before?" she asked after a few minutes while she played with his hair. He looked up at her pretty face. "Yeah, first time." "Well, that was really good. I'm looking forward to more of that." She gave him a peck on the lips. "But now you have to get back to work, handyman. However, you've done a great job so far, so you can head home after that load." He gave her a quizzical look. She pointed out the door. "The load of branches in your wheelbarrow." "Oh!" After Dale headed back the way he came, Trish called out. "Come here, Helena." After a few seconds, her sheepish daughter shuffled into the cottage. Trish could see the wet spot in the girl's sweatpants between her legs, and she opened her own legs wide. "Get down here and clean me out, cumslut." "Mom!" "Now!" Whimpering, Helena knelt down on the small bed between her mother's legs. "How do I, ?" "Use that fucking tongue, bitch." "Umm, " The cute strawberry blonde moved her head down between her mother's toned thighs. This close, she could smell the combined scent of Dale's semen and her mother's musky pussy juice. She gave a tentative lick at a dollop of whiteness that was escaping her mother's vagina. She had only had a brief taste of Dale's cum when her mother had shoved it into her mouth after blowing the young man earlier, but it was salty and not bad. She swallowed the cum and started to lick in earnest. "That's it," her mother moaned, "that's a good little cumslut." Helena had already masturbated outside as she heard her mother tell Dale to do his best to impregnate her. That had been so hot! She figured that licking all of his cum out would help keep her from having a brand new sibling. She moved one hand under her sweatpants and back to her own prominent clit, rubbing it as she licked and sucked at her mother's pussy, extracting more of Dale's cum. Finally, she slipped two fingers inside her own vagina and finger banged herself until she came again, gulping down the last of the cum she could find. "Very good, Helena," her mother said as she got to her feet. "You're welcome to watch in the future, but you can't let Dale know. I think you might blow his little mind, knowing the bitch princess is just as much of a cumslut as her mother." Then she pulled her bikini back on and left her daughter there, shaking in pleasure. Day two of Dale's new job. Dale spent the rest of the afternoon in a mushy haze. He'd finally lost his virginity! Not to Nancy, as he'd hoped, but Trish was a sexy Milf as well. He looked forward to his next 'job' with her. That night, he and Nancy played more Dragon Era in the living room. "So, how was your first day helping Trish?" she asked him as their character ran through an abandoned town. "It was fun," Dale said, and winced. He shouldn't have said that, work wasn't supposed to be fun! She sat up. "Fun? What'd you do?" "Err, I mean, have you seen their hedge maze? That was fun. Obviously the work is work," he quickly covered. "Hm."   Sunday, Dale woke up to a text from Trish: *Hey how fast can you get over here?* He looked at the time: 10 AM. His muscles were sore from yesterday's exertions, not only from the hedge trimming, but from hammering his cock into the leggy blonde's hot pussy as he gave her his v-card. He replied back, *Pretty quick, give me a few* *Ok text when you're coming over* "Coffee?" Nancy made her usual offer as she heard him emerge from his basement cave. "Sorry, Trish needs me right now." He typed on his phone and headed to the front door. Nancy watched him leave, suddenly feeling protective, and she wondered if she might also be jealous. Had Trish already jumped him? Had he lost his virginity to her? Was he going over there to pump that deliciously large cock into her skanky cunt? She caught herself and shook her head. She hadn't felt sexy since her period started Thursday night, but it was calming down, and with it, her libido was ramping back up. She had no legitimate claim on Dale, though, if Trish was boffing him, that had nothing to do with her. She sighed and ate her breakfast. Dale got another text message as he left Nancy's house: *Head upstairs second door on the left* Helena let him in, as usual. Today the strawberry blonde was wearing a tank top and short-shorts, showing how she had inherited her long legs from her mother. "Mom's upstairs, I think," she advised him. "Thanks." Dale headed up the dark oak staircase. Once he was out of sight, the young woman pulled out her mother's phone and sent another text: *Undress, put on the blindfold, and turn away from the door* *Ok* She quietly mounted the stairs, following in the attractive young man's wake. Slightly opening the spare bedroom's door to peek in, she saw that he had followed her instructions; he was kneeling on the room's double bed, naked, with his back to her. She stepped in and placed her hand on his shoulder, making him jump a little. Then she made a V with her fingers and swung them around to quickly stab at his eyes, stopping short an inch away. If he hadn't secured the dark blindfold, he would have recoiled from the visible danger to his eyesight, but he hadn't reacted at all. "So, um, " he began. "Shush!" She reached around and grasped his cock, amazed at how long and thick it was. She had seen it while her mother was blowing him the previous day, but now that she was close and it was in her hand, it seemed even bigger. A bit of drool slipped from between her lips and she swept it up with her tongue. She directed him by his shoulders to turn around, and then pushed him back onto the bed before grabbing his cock again to stroke it. She had to taste it. She moved down and licked at the head, her pussy thrilling at this illicit act. She took it into her mouth and gave it a strong suck, making him moan, and then engulfed several inches. Soon, she was bobbing her head and tasting his pre-cum, but she couldn't take all of his cock like her mother had. She worried that he might figure out that she wasn't her mother from her inexperience, so she got up, pulled off her clothes, and then got onto the bed naked. She climbed astride him and rubbed her soaking pussy along the underside of his shaft as Dale just lay there, his mouth slightly open. When she saw his hands move toward her chest, she quickly reacted and pushed them back to the bed, above his head. Her B-cup tits were definitely smaller than her mother's, so he had to keep his hands to himself! By leaning forward to do that, though, the shorter girl had moved her hips forward, and when Dale felt the tip of his cock nestle itself between what he thought were Trish's pussy lips, he thrust his hips up, popping the head inside. "Huh!" she moaned as she felt an insistent, pleasurable pressure inside her. She'd busted her own cherry with a dildo a while back, but had never actually had a real cock inside her. She froze, not knowing what to do, which gave Dale the opportunity to shift his body up the bed a little, causing another inch of him to push further inside her virgin hole. Helena hadn't planned this. She was originally just going to whack him off, or suck him off, to get a fresh load of that delicious cum. Rubbing her pussy on his cock until she came and then making him cum in her mouth had been the revised plan, but now the college student's lengthy member was inside her pussy, if only by a couple of inches. She was desperately trying to make her brain work, to take back control of the situation, when gravity caused her body to slide down his cock another inch, at least, she thought it was gravity, had she done that herself? she wondered. Dale moved his hips down a little and thrust up into her again. This time most of him went in, and Helena moaned, keeping her mouth shut so he wouldn't be able to tell anything from her voice. Her pussy was so full! Her dildo was definitely not as big as him. Her vagina was throbbing as it struggled to accommodate his size, her insides producing additional lubrication to assist. Well, she figured, her revised plan was going to be to use his cock to make her cum, so it was only a slight adjustment to have it inside her when it did that. She just had to make sure to pull off before he came. Her pussy twitched at that thought. This was very dangerous, Dale was breathing heavily. 'Trish's' pussy was tighter than yesterday, maybe due to the change in position, he figured, and it felt incredible. He hoped he'd be able to hold off until she orgasmed at least once. Helena pulled up a bit and then pushed back down, feeling even more of Dale's wonderful cock slipping inside her. She would never be as satisfied with her dildo again, she realized. She did it again, and again, and finally she took him all the way inside. She was practically hyperventilating, feeling the tip of his large cock pressing deeper inside her than anything had ever been before. Dale waited. 'Trish' had taken all of him and seemed to be breathing funny. As her breathing calmed, he began to thrust his hips up at her, causing her to make cute mewling sounds. Helena began to match his movements and felt sparks flare from her clit and G-spot as both were stimulated. She knew at this rate that she wouldn't take long to reach her orgasm, and then she'd pull off and swallow his creamy load. Her mouth was salivating at the thought. Yes, she could feel her orgasm building, like electricity deep inside, powering up as his dynamo speared into her again and again. Her B-cup tits bounced, her nipples shaking up and down, "Umm!" she grunted, and shoved her pussy down on him. With the tip of his cock pressing dangerously against her cervix, she came. "Uh! Nuh!" She shook upon him, her pussy grasping at his glorious member as the orgasm blew through her body. Dale was holding as still as possible, wanting to make sure that 'Trish' had at least one full orgasm before he came himself, he hoped that maybe they could cum together for her second. It had been a close thing, though, and a drop of his sperm-filled semen dribbled from the tip of his cock, smearing itself onto the entrance of the teen girl's vulnerable womb. "Huh, huh, " Still shaking, Helena tried to calm her body down. She had never experienced an orgasm like that before! She'd catch her breath, and then, She hadn't noticed when she'd let go of Dale's arms, and he suddenly wrapped them around her body and shifted his weight so he could flip them over. He was now on top, his turgid member still inside her, and he began to thrust into her hard. No! she screamed in her head. She couldn't call out or he'd know it was her and not her mother, and with her smaller body, she elbowed his arms from around her, and when his hands went for her tits again, she quickly covered them with her own hands. Confused by what 'Trish' was doing, Dale just laid his full weight upon her as he thrust into her again and again, trapping her hands between their bodies and crushing them into her tits. "Uh! Uh!" Helena moaned. At this angle, Dale was smacking her clitoris with every stroke. He was taking her, owning her, but this was supposed to be her taking advantage of him! She could feel another orgasm approaching as the impact of Dale's sizable cock reverberated throughout her pussy. She told herself that she'd have just one more orgasm and then she'd somehow get him off of her. Her mind flashed back to the previous day, when she had watched Dale thrusting between her mother's shapely legs, just as he was now doing to her, as her mother moaned for him to try to impregnate her. That had been so hot, and when Dale had groaned and filled the older woman up with his sperm, Helena had cum hard on her own fingers, her knees giving out and dropping her to the ground, imagining her mother getting knocked up by the handsome teen. She felt Dale speed up, his cock somehow feeling even bigger inside her, she was so close, Dale was fast approaching his own release, and knew 'Trish' liked when he pretended to knock her up, so he leaned in and whispered into Helena's ear, "Here's a baby for you, you hot slut. Uh!" Then he thrust deep inside her and stopped, feeling his orgasm rise from his loins. Upon hearing this, Helena's body went into orgasmic overdrive. "Huh!" Her legs instinctively wrapped around Dale's hips, her body trying to pull him as deep as possible as his orgasm rushed up his shaft and spattered her spasming cervix with baby making sperm. Her primed insides undulated around his throbbing shaft, urging it to fill her teen body with life. "Un uh!" she cried out and bit her lower lip while his sperm assaulted her vulnerable womb. After shooting a good ten spurts of dangerous seed inside 'Trish', Dale pulled out and rolled to the side. He reached for the blindfold, but, even as she shook with after orgasms, Helena had the wherewithal to grab his hand. On tottering legs, she grabbed her clothes and slipped from the room. A minute later, Dale heard his phone chime. He removed the blindfold to read it: *Amazing, lover. Gotta go out, so you head home* He shook his head. Trish was using him for sex, he knew, but he had no complaints. As he got his clothes on, another message came in from her: *Both of us should pretend this never happened okay? Hotter that way* He didn't know why it was hotter that way, but he shrugged, sent back, *Ok* and headed home. In the bathroom, Helena sat on the toilet to let Dale's sizable load drip out of her pussy.   After deleting the texts from her mother's phone and leaving it in the entryway, Helena lay on her bed, still naked. Her period was a little unpredictable, but she knew that this had not been a safe day to take a load of hot sperm, hmm, inside her wet, umm, pussy, Her hand went to her clit and found that it was still engorged, so she started playing with it. Well, that happened, she mused, and it had been the hottest thing she had ever experienced. She grabbed her dildo and easily pushed it inside her well-lubricated pussy. She realized that Dale had stretched her out a bit. Soon she was able to bring herself to another orgasm, remembering Dale grunting and filling her up with his baby batter. She heard the front door open and close, and her mother's voice called out, "Helena! Have you seen my phone--? Oh, never mind, here it is. Forget my head if it wasn't attached." Helena extracted the dildo from her pussy. Seeing all the sperm sticking to it that had somehow remained after she had tried to drip it out earlier, she brought it to her mouth and sucked it clean. She Was a cumslut, she realized, as her mother had said: like mother, like daughter. Later that evening. Sunday evening, Dale was going to play more Dragon Era with Nancy, but then he got another text from Trish asking him to come over. "This late?" Nancy asked, looking at the sun as it started to set outside. "You won't be able to do any yard work." "She might need some indoor work done." Dale much preferred having sex to playing video games, and hanging out with Nancy felt kinda weird now that they weren't being all touchy-friendly. "Hmm." Nancy frowned.   Helena let Dale into the house again. That seemed to be her job in the household. "Oh! Hi, Dale!" He saw her blush. What was with her, all of a sudden? he wondered. She looked uncomfortable. "Mom's upstairs, um, again." "Thanks." Dale mounted the steps and found Trish at the top, wearing a short, sheer robe that showed off her glorious gams. "Hey, Trish." "Dale, thank you for coming so quickly, hm." The curvy blonde frowned at the double entendre. "Come with me." As she went past the room he thought he had fucked her in earlier that day, he paused, pointing with a questioning look. She turned back. "No, that's the guest bedroom, mine's this way." Confused, he continued following. As they entered the master bedroom, Dale looked about. It was grand, with 12-foot ceilings that had carved wood paneling, and a four-poster bed. She noticed him staring. "Work hard in life, and you can earn nice things like this. What were you taking in college, Dale?" "Going for my degree in English," he replied. Her lips turned down. "Oh, well, renting's a thing too. Now, come over here." She let the robe slip off of her shoulders, revealing her gorgeous naked Milf body, and then she lay back on the bed, her legs opening wide. Right to it, Dale thought bemusedly, and removed his own clothes. As he clambered onto the bed, she said, "There will be times when you'll have 'shot your wad' and I won't yet be fully satisfied. Today I'm going to teach you how to pleasure a woman without using your admittedly above average member." She couldn't help but admire that stiff prong as it pointed toward its goal: her rapidly moistening pussy. "Okay, so my tongue?" He moved forward and bent down between her thighs. "Hm, yes, and your fingers. Ah, " Dale had watched enough porn to know what to do, and he started licking between her wet pussy lips. "Yes, a good start, Dale." He moved a bit higher. "Ah, no, that's where I pee from. My clit's higher, though it's probably difficult to find right now, wait until I get going. Yes, dip your tongue right in, mmm, " "Hon, have you seen my cufflinks? Oh." Dale snapped his head up. A tall, slim, brown-haired man in a white dress shirt and dark slacks had just walked into the bedroom from a side door, an unfastened bow tie around his neck. He paused as he regarded the naked couple. "Check the side table," Trish pointed, seemingly unconcerned. "Hey, Dale, right?" The man strode forward, his hand out. Dale scrambled back to his feet, very conscious of how vulnerable he was while unclothed. His penis was dwindling rapidly. "Oh, shit! I forgot to tell him!" Trish put one hand to her mouth. "He thinks he's gonna get the shit beaten out of him." "Oh, Trish." The man looked at his wife, disappointed. She stopped laughing. "I'm sorry, Dale, Stephen is fine with what we're doing. He can't keep up with my sex drive, and he's not a jealous man. Really, you're helping both of us out by keeping me full of your cum." Dale was just standing there, his hands over his junk, processing this new information. "Oh." Stephen stepped forward again, his hand out. "So, " Dale kept one hand over his junk and gamely shook the man's hand with the other. Stephen's grip was strong, and he pulled the young man in close. "Just don't knock her up, okay?" he whispered in Dale's ear. "She's already got frequent flyer miles at the clinic, and one of these days she might just decide to keep one. I'm so done with diapers." He gave Dale a wink and then headed over to the side table's drawer. "Yep, here they are. What would I do without ya, hon?" "Probably get prostate cancer and die horribly," she replied, giving him a pleasant grin. "Ha! Yeah, without you helping me clean it out regularly. Okay, carry on, Dale! Love ya, honey." Then he strode out of the room and closed the door behind him. Dale stared at the door. "Well?" He turned back to Trish, still lying there, her legs wide. He didn't quite know how to feel about both the revelation that her husband approved of what they were doing, and that Trish could actually get pregnant. "Ugh, get over here, Dale, and lay down," she directed him. He did, and she twisted around and climbed astride him in a sixty-nine position, their faces in each other's crotches. "Get licking," she commanded him, and took his half-hard cock into her mouth. Soon, he was back to full size, and was doing a fairly good job of pleasuring her as well, she felt. She pulled her hips forward, slotted the head between her very wet pussy lips, and sank down upon it in the reverse cowgirl position. "Uh, umm, Trish, you said you couldn't get pregnant, right?" Dale asked. "Hmm? Yes, Dale. Ahh, " She had been so wet from the cunnilingus that she was able to take all of his big dong inside her with only minimal trouble. She ground her pelvis into his, stimulating her clit, and that, combined with the insistent pressure on her cervix and how well Dale had pleasured her with his tongue earlier, caused her to cum. "Uh! Oh! Yes, " She calmed down from her orgasm and pulled off. "Uff, why so hesitant, Dale? Do you need me to order you around, like yesterday? Oh shit, do I not turn you on?" She looked stricken. "No! Uh, I mean yes, you turn me on! What we did earlier was totally hot!" She frowned. Oh, right, she didn't want me to mention this morning, he realized. "I mean yesterday, in the maze." "So, ?" She reached forward and stroked his cock. "Err, your husband, Stephen, he said to make sure I didn't knock you up, but you said you couldn't get pregnant, " She laughed and looked toward the door. "Oh, that fucker!" She climbed astride Dale again, this time in the cowgirl position, and rubbed the head of his cock on her clit. "He's just fucking with you." "Is he?" "He is." With that, she lined Dale's cock up again and sank down on it hard, making him gasp. She then leaned forward to whisper into his ear as she started moving upon him. "Either he's telling the truth or I am, so either I can get pregnant or I can't." She felt Dale's cock give a twitch at that conundrum as she rode him. "Either way, Dale, you're gonna put your fucking sperm deep inside this body that I work very hard to keep tight and toned, where they'll either find an egg and fertilize it, or die unfulfilled. Either way, it's not your concern, as I don't want another kid; one self-absorbed child is enough." She was moving faster upon him now. "So, are you gonna give me what I want?" Dale was breathing heavily. "Uhh, yeah, I don't know what I was thinking, " His cock was feeling fantastic now, sliding easily into Trish's depths. "Good boy, now tell me what I wanna hear, " She licked his ear lobe as she moved upon him faster. "Unh, I'm gonna, fill you up with my cum soon." Trish's breathing was faster now too. "Ooh, and then what'll happen, you naughty boy?" "I'm, uhh, gonna knock you up, you sexy mama." "Yes, " she hissed, and took him all the way inside her before rolling her hips. The change in movement caused his pubic hair to rasp along her pussy. "Aww yes, " she moaned as she came again. When Dale felt Trish's possibly fertile pussy grip his cock, he came as well. "Oh! Here comes my baby, slut!" He grabbed her hips and pulled her all the way down upon him. "Oh fuck!" she cried out as she felt Dale's hot cum burst inside her spasming pussy, causing another orgasm to rush through her wanton body. "Ugh! Umm hmm!" In her own room, Helena speared her dildo into her recently de-virginized pussy and grunted as another orgasm washed over her. The house had great ventilation, which allowed her to hear every time her mom had sex in the master bedroom. This time she welcomed the intrusive sounds. Trish lay upon Dale, finally sated. "Very nice, you wanna stay over tonight? Stephen's out until tomorrow afternoon." Dale lay there in a daze, his cock shrinking within the older woman's pussy. "Oh, sure, " He had class the next day, but his stuff was just across the street. Nancy waited for hours for Dale to come back. Once it hit 11 PM, though, she went to bed and cried herself to sleep. Nancy continues the game with Dale. Dale woke to the feeling of something soft rubbing his hard cock. He opened his eyes to find Trish's back to him, with her hand directing his erection between her round ass cheeks. Smiling, he angled himself down, and she moaned as she was able to then stuff the head of his cock inside her very wet pussy. "Aw, I was hoping to get you all the way inside before you woke." She looked back at him over her shoulder with a smile. "Ooh!" Dale had thrust halfway inside the hot older blonde. He pulled back a bit and tried again. On the fourth try, his 8 incher was all the way inside her. "Oh, Jesus, " she moaned, feeling her cervix stretch as the tip of his cock pressed insistently at it. As he started to thrust inside the older woman, he reached around to palm one of her large teardrop tits. His fingers found a prominent nipple and lightly pinched it. "Ah!" she moaned. "Do you like my tits, Dale? They were so amazing before I got pregnant. After I stopped being a fucking milk factory, they got all droopy." "I love 'em," Dale told her as he hefted that prodigious tit. "Maybe after I put a baby in you they'll fill up again." After the confusion last night about Trish's fertility status, no thanks to her husband, he was pretty sure that he couldn't knock her up, but it was a hot fantasy. "MM!" she moaned, and pulled his face around to hers for a kiss. "Yes! Do your best to pump your swimmers deep, fuckboy!" "Yes ma'am!" He thrust up into her faster, spying from the alarm clock that he didn't have a lot of time. "Get up on your hands and knees." She complied, and gasped as she thrust back into her hard. "Oh, you're taking me, Dale, like a bitch in heat! Huhh!" Dale felt Trish's insides grip him as she orgasmed, but he wasn't quite there yet. Hmm, he thought, if I'm taking you,  He wound up and gave her a swat on one asscheek. "Ow! Fuck! Guhh, " she moaned as the pain/pleasure confusion extended her cum. Dale swatted her ass again, and her pussy's constant suckling on his cock finally pushed him over the edge. He reached forward, grabbed her swinging tits, and sunk his teeth lightly into her neck, growling. "Ur! Yes, " she cried out as she felt his member swell inside her, relishing the feel of his young cock plundering her treasures. Then the dam burst, and her cervix was awash with potent teenage cum. She continued to orgasm, shaking as her wanton body accepted his manly tribute. Outside the bedroom door, peeping in through the keyhole, Trish's daughter Helena did her best to hold back her own cries as she came on her fingers.   Dale rushed home, ran downstairs to wash up and grab his textbooks, and then ran back upstairs. "Dale?" He stopped, halfway to the front door. Nancy was sitting at the kitchen bar with a cup of coffee before her. He thought that she looked tired. "Nancy? You okay?" "You didn't come home last night." She looked at him with dark-rimmed eyes. "Oh! Did you wait up? I, it got late and I was tired, so they let me sleep over." "I see, " He put his backpack down and went over to her. "Nancy, I'm really sorry that I didn't let you know ahead of time. I will next time, okay?" He was beside her now, but she was still turned away from him. He put his arms around her and she stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed into him. She calmed her breathing, smelling Dale's scent as he held her. "Okay, thank you, Dale. I worry." He stood back up. "I appreciate that. Okay, gotta catch my bus!" He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, grabbed his backpack, and ran out. She touched her cheek and felt it flush. Dumping Loads at Trish's. The next week went much like the last, with Dale filling Trish up with cum whenever she called him over. He didn't sleep over at her house again, so Nancy was happy to have him home in the evenings, and they continued to play Dragon Era, though still at opposite ends of the couch. Monday, "Okay, Dale, I'm just gonna come out with it, do you want to go see a movie with me this weekend?" Dale glanced up at Melanie as they sat together in the college lunchroom. The platinum blonde was wearing a knee-length skirt and a blouse that showed off her C-cup tits. "Oh! Uhh, sure?" She quirked her mouth. "Wow, you sure know how to make a girl feel wanted." He shrugged. "I'm sorry, this was kinda unexpected. Do you have a movie in mind?" "That new Marvel one? I like superheroes." "Oh, really? Yeah, me too," Dale told her, surprised. "Okay, here's my number, err, do you drive? I don't have a car."   After dinner, Nancy suggested that she and Dale play more Dragon Era. He was enjoying spending time with her, even with their new, safe relationship. She started at the far end of the couch, but then moved closer as they played. "I'm a bit tired," she told him. "Is it okay if I lay down? Just stop playing if I start snoring." "Heh, sure." Then she moved closer and lay her head in his lap. The keyboard was across his knees, so it didn't block her view of the TV. "This okay?" she asked. "Yep," he responded, confused about her sudden change of demeanor. As they played, he felt the heat from her head radiate through his lap and, consequently, his crotch. Slowly, his penis filled with blood. "Oh, so now that we've helped Alain with his personal quest, we can sleep with him?" she asked. "Yeah, let's just head back to camp, " Nancy lifted her head to watch the on-screen seduction, keeping one hand on Dale's upper thigh, dangerously close to his erection. As the computer-generated characters got it on, somewhat comically due to the height difference between the human prince and their Dwarf princess character, he felt her hand squeeze his thigh. "Well, at least someone's getting' laid, " she mumbled. "What was that?" Nancy started, surprised that she had said that out loud. "Um, nothing." She sat up, noticed Dale's erection tenting out his jeans, and became very aware of her situation. "We, uh, should get to bed. School day tomorrow." As she got up, Dale's eyes immediately went to her rounded ass, accentuated by the material of her dark tights. His cock gave a twitch of encouragement. With all the sex he'd been having with Trish, his hormones were often bubbling near the surface. Auburn-haired Nancy was more voluptuous than her neighbor across the street, and Dale had seen her naked when she gave him a blowjob and let him cum in her panties almost a couple weeks previous. She had said that they couldn't do anything like that anymore, though. He really needed to whack off. "Good nite." "Sweet dreams," she called back as she headed upstairs. He shut down his laptop, turned off the lights, and headed downstairs. Once he had his privacy, he dropped his jeans and started to stroke his cock. Pretty soon he was approaching orgasm, and he grabbed the tissue box. Thump, Thump Thump Thump! "Ow!" Dale turned. Nancy was sprawled at the bottom of the basement stairs, holding one ankle and grimacing. To be continued in part 4, by Krosis, for Literotica.

Why, hello there. And welcome back to the exciting conclusion to the Apocalypse Video Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy. I'm your host, Dave Davey, and oooh boy, have I got a third act for you! It seems old Michael had accidently left a window open when the boys recorded the last Jack Frost episode–err, that is, the one with the killer mutant snowman. And ooooh, wouldn't ya know it…he came down with the dreaded Captain Trips. With Mike gone and Nick unavailable, how the heck were Dave and Ryan gonna save the Christmas Special?! Heh heh heh, don't worry, listeners. After all, this is a Christmas Special, and Christmas specials always have a little secret ingredient…a happy ending. Topics of discussion in this episode include a film with a ton of credited writers (which is always a good sign); Ryan reveals when he officially became a man and left childhood behind (...by walking out of Jack Frost and into a showing of Stepmom); and finally, we wonder exactly how popular snowman jazz can possibly be. Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at apocalypsevideopod@gmail.com What was your favorite visage of Jack Frost? Was it the non moving mutant snowman from ‘97 or the black eyed, computer generated nightmare from ‘98? Let us know, we wanna hear from ya! That'll do it for the Apocalypse Video Jack Frost Christmas Special Trilogy. Thanks for joining us, folks. We hope you had a good Christmas! Until next time, I've been Dave Davey, and it's time for me to sign off from my remote cottage in the frozen secluded wilderness of the northern wasteland. Happy New Year!

Santa & His Team Makes Up For A North Pole Screw-Up. By Demi Urging. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It's the wee hours of December 26th. Rick is finally shoving the last of his teetering friends through their front door, He volunteered to be designated driver again, for about half a dozen friends & co-workers. Another Christmas gathering passed as the clock ticked into the next day and it seemed he'd be single again into the new year. He thought he would have gotten over it by age thirty.He did have a pity date from last year  for New Year's Eve. It hadn't been a nice date, either; she stayed for a single kiss at midnight and left without another word. The same woman has a boyfriend this year, so Rick couldn't ask again even if his pride would allow it. Now he'll get plenty of sleep. The only sign of the holidays in his life was the box of fudge sitting on his counter, Which his elderly neighbor gave him the night before Christmas. He wouldn't even eat it tonight. Sleep had to come first, then he had a week off, since the boss knew most of the team would be useless if he had them come in that week. Climbing the stairs, he smelled something delectable, coming out of the 4th floor stairwell. He thought one of his neighbors must have made actual food instead of subsisting on beer and crackers like his friends had. Maybe he would eat some of that fudge after all, since a glass of water and a handful of crackers in the face of a home-cooked meal seemed inadequate. It had to be Miss Thompson. Rick thought that the old gal had gone off to the country for the day to visit with her kids, but the smell of his mom's ham with orange & clove seasoning didn't lie, and it was absolutely coming from somewhere on this floor, getting stronger as he approached his own apartment. Taking a final pleasant sniff before entering his lonely apartment, Rick turned, halfway opened his front door, and was smacked in the face with a bouquet of aromas that sent his mind back to Christmas dinner with mom and dad. Rick stepped back. Wrong apartment, he thought. But when he checked the address, expecting to be on the wrong floor somehow, he was met with the very same number he saw every day. He considered calling the cops, but wanted to know the actual situation before making that decision. So, flicked-open pocket knife in hand, he very slowly pushed the door open again. “Aren't you coming in?” A slender, bright-eyed young woman in an apron and a horribly ugly holiday sweater three sizes too large, only bare leg showing underneath its hem, was standing in the entryway. She giggled, fluffy blonde locks bouncing around peaked ears, and took Rick by the hand, gently tugging him inside. “Come on, silly, it's nice and warm. I have a fire going that's the perfect size for snuggling and supper just came out of the oven.” Ah, so a crazy person broke in. At least they… “A Fire!?” Rick asked as he pulled himself out of her grasp and ran further inside, desperately trying to remember where he kept the extinguisher. But he stopped when he saw what she really meant: his television was showing a video of a fireplace and putting out the smooth jazz version of Christmas favorites, & also a heater stationed below it provided heat along with what looked like a genuine polar bear skin rug. Jittering followed as the girl joined him. “I am sorry I couldn't have a real one tonight, but there was no fireplace so this is the best I could do. Now, let's get you fed while it's nice and piping hot, and then we can open presents.” A glance around the room revealed a small pine tree, dazzling with ornaments and laden with expertly-wrapped boxes underneath. Rick's dining room table held more food than it ever had before and glimmered with candlelight that danced gleefully as the girl dimmed the lights and retrieved the last item from the oven, coming around with a ceramic dish of bubbling, hot food to finish off the spread. She pulled a chair out for him to sit, pouting when he declined her service. “What is this and who are you?” Rick discreetly tucked his knife away. “This is Christmas dinner for my sweetie, of course. It'll start getting cold soon, so why don't I make you a plate? While she scooped Rick's plate with food, He considered his plan of action. The way she bounced to a beat, humming along with the television, the points of her ears were over-worldly? Rick reached out and tugged on one of the girl's ears. She yelped, tightening up so as not to drop the plate, and begged him with a tremble in her voice, "Sweetie, please don't.” When he released her, she set his place at the table and did the same for herself. He took his seat. “Merry Christmas, my sweet one. While you were away, Santa came along and dropped off a bunch of presents for you. I thought you would like the surprise and we could eat first before talking, but I guess I crossed a line, haven't I?” Rick put a bite of ham in his mouth, the girl brightening up as he started to eat. It had to be one of the most delicious things he'd had the pleasure to shove in his face. Mom's cooking, with its nostalgic advantage was still blown out of the water, and Rick felt sorry that he would never get to taste this for the first time again. Too soon it was all gone and the girl was carrying out a plate of apple and chocolate pie with ice cream on the side. This too didn't last and something about her constant giggling warmed him inside in a way he couldn't very well describe. As he finished the last bite of chocolate pie, she came over to his chair & wrapped herself around his neck from behind, softness and warmth pressing into his back and fluffy, blonde hair tickling his cheek. “Oh, Messy boy” she said, and leaned forward to smooch a crumb off his cheek. Before Rick could object, as little as he was inclined to, she had already slipped away to put dishes in the sink and his back felt uncomfortably cold with her absence. “That was pretty good; amazing actually.” Rick said, “But seriously, who are you? Did one of my friends hire you or something?” He dismissed the idea. “No, my mother? She's one of the only people with a key to my place. Unless; it was the landlady?” The girl stretched in the warm air with a luxurious moan escaping peachy lips, the neck of her XXL sweater spilling over a shoulder, exposing so much skin underneath that it was impossible for her to be wearing anything underneath. “I'm an elf!” she proclaimed. She curtsied, at least there were denim cutoff shorts underneath the sweater.  Rick just stared. “Didn't you hear me? Santa came by, because you were such a good boy, and we set all this up for you. Well, not to toot my own horn, but I did all the cooking and decorating, Santa brought presents. Oh, and I'm Sugarbell. I'm here to make your Christmas wish come true!” She'd taken a pose as if she was popping out of a giant layer cake; like there should be celebratory confetti shooting out. But she just stood there in awkward silence. Rick sighed, so she was a crazy chick after all. “Okay, miss elf, why don't you get out of here before I have to call the police. And how did you get in here anyway?” “Magic,” Sugarbell said, looking crestfallen, her ears drooping. “You're not giving me a good argument not to call the police. Can you at least take off the fake ears so we can really talk about this?” “Fake? Sweetie? She skipped over to a green sack by the door and plucked out a wrinkled, yellowed piece of paper. "Ahem, ‘Dear Santa, I've been a good boy all year if you don't count that stuff that my sister says and all I really want is a girlfriend.' and then there's a colored pencil drawing of a girl with black pigtails who I think is your crush. 'It's okay if I don't get one, I know that's asking for a lot, but it doesn't look like mom and Dave are going to be able to give out lots of toys this year, so don't worry about it if you can't. Merry Christmas. BTW I'm making snickerdoodles this year, so make sure you grab your share before Dave can steal them all again.' and there's your signature.” She handed the letter over for inspection. It was definitely his handwriting, his drawing skills from almost two decades ago… “So you were sent by my mother. You could have just said that and we'd have been fine. I'm sorry, she's pushy but I know she means well… should have told me I'd have company and I would have skipped that party. Anyway, what's your actual name?” “I'm Sugarbell. And I wasn't sent by her, Santa brought me. Here, look.” She tugged on her ear, leaning up so Rick could look closely. It was either real or the seam of the rubber was so well hidden that it might as well be. “I suppose this would be a little hard to believe for an adult. Sorry, I haven't actually spoken with a human for a few years.” Rick shook his head. “Your makeup's good, I'll give you that.” Rick angled his hips so the elf wouldn't notice a certain reflex to her melding to his shape. She was incredibly soft in his arms, just short of purring, the smell of peppermint coming off as she rubbed against him. Sugarbell stared up at him, her wide, green eyes shining with reflected candlelight. “But I'm not a crazy. I…” She went to the polar bearskin rug in front of the television, so big for the room that it bunched up against the walls in that corner, took a seat and patted the place beside her for him to take. Rick was not so troubled as he was amused, so he sat next to her on the rug in front of the sofa, facing the fake fire. She rested her head against his shoulder and twined her fingers in his with no resistance. “Um…” he said, “You got me, I guess, but what is all this?” “It's a little embarrassing for all of us who screwed up,” she said, “You see, back when we got that letter, we were using a new kind of mail bag and, as we would soon find out, letters would sometimes get caught in the seams. And the elf in charge of distributing letters wasn't especially conscientious. Rather than going through the trouble of digging out the trapped ones as he knew there would be, they instead ended up stuck inside, in a pile in the corner of the sorting room. It wouldn't have been that much of a problem, aside from that one elf's termination we would have just sorted through when we found the pile and spread out what good will we could. But then we arrived at your letter.” “I mean, I was a dumb 10 year old kid. It's not something I would ask for these days.” Sugarbell airily giggled, her cheek burned against his arm. “Sweetie, that wasn't the problem. We get so many requests for things like that; puppies, little brothers or sisters, a bunch-a edgy. Usually, we'd plan on whatever we could. Are the parents getting a pet? Is someone pregnant or likely to be? If not, a stuffed animal or baby doll would do the trick, and plastic weapons are wholesome enough as it is. The trouble came in an unfortunate fact: you were in the top hundred of the nice list that year.” “First of all, I don't believe you, but why would it be an issue?” “Top hundred and a random assortment on top of that get their wish, period. According to our records, you didn't submit one… had we known what you wanted, we couldn't very well kidnap someone and brainwash them, but we absolutely could have an elf facilitate a meeting, and stick around to help out a burgeoning romance. Of course, we didn't find your letter in the pile until this year. It wouldn't do for us to get off with as light as a card and a toy anymore, so here I am.” Sugarbell hugged his arm tightly to her chest and kissed his cheek. “I'm your present this year. Sorry it took so long for your wish to come true.” It doesn't make up for the twenty years you've lost, but We can only fix today. Rick reeled from the stream of revelations, not the least of which being that Santa was a real guy. And here was an eager, adorable, blonde lovely thing clinging to him, unwittingly giving him quite the show as her sweater's wide neck dipped down with her promised land hiding behind a tantalizing, flickering shadow. He averted his eyes, hoping she couldn't feel his heart going crazy through his palm, but her puckish smile said that she knew very well the effect her supple, inviting cuddliness was having. He paused. “So Santa just gave me one of his elves? What, did you draw the short stick?” “We're not slaves, you know. It's a career.” As he leaned back, supported by the sofa seat; Sugarbell straddled into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. There was no way she couldn't feel the ‘wooden soldier' poking her thighs from below. “Upon discovery of your letter, several of us thought that we could still make your wish come true, so Santa put out a call for volunteers. I won.” Before he could respond, she leaned into him, rocking him onto his back while she straddled; her warm, green eyes glittering in the false firelight on the tv as she came in for a transient peck on the lips. Then she teased him by hopping up and padding over to the kitchen. From where he lay, Rick watched her pull a tray from the oven and came back to the fire to kneel beside him. He asked, “People volunteered to be with me?” It was hard to imagine even two women fighting over him. Sugarbell frowned like she knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later and could no longer be postponed. “Fifty of us young lady elves entered the pool. We played rock paper scissors for the position, and I won the tournament. Of course; if you don't want me, I'm sure we can drop someone else off for you. Any one of them would love to take my place.” “I just can't believe it.” Rick sat up and drew her into his arms, sitting her on one leg so the soldier couldn't get in the way. It seemed that she prepared to be rejected at this point, and he'd said so much to make her think he would, threatened to have her removed by the authorities after all. “It's a lot to take in, you know? How the heck was I in the top hundred? I don't remember doing anything especially great. Why not give my place to one of those prodigies out saving the rainforest or whatever?” She'd relaxed in his arms, nestled into the crook of his shoulder and curled in her slender legs. “We take lots of factors into consideration. The kindest people don't pay attention to how kind they are. They just do the right thing. "And I thought you were a home invader.” “Nuh-uh.” She wiggled herself up until her lips touched his earlobe and whispered, “It's only home invasion when the owner doesn't want you there. Tell me who laid out milk and cookies all those years? Wasn't that you?” Her nuzzling and shimmying had tugged the overlarge neck of her sweater so far down across one shoulder that she was in danger of revealing herself from just the swell of her curvaceous breast with every breath, not that it seemed she would mind. Sugarbell wagged her pert butt in his lap, her fingers wandered underneath his sweatshirt and sweetly tugged at the t-shirt underneath when she found it was tucked in. The same breath which raised her chest came to him as a cool breeze on his neck. She said, “Tell me, what's the one thing you've always wanted to do, that you couldn't without a girlfriend?” One corner of his undershirt came free from his jeans. It was too fast, Rick hugged her tighter, trapping her hands to squirm uselessly against his belly. He grabbed her sweater and pulled the neck back off her shoulder, saving her from the risk of exposure. Giggling wildly, she plunged her hands under his plain gray sweatshirt and tickled his armpits without mercy until it was just too much to bear and Rick fell sideways, holding in suppressed laughter, landing onto his back. But it didn't end, Sugarbell seized the moment of his weakness and took hold of the sweatshirt's hem, pulling the whole thing up above his head in a smooth motion and trapping his arms in a cottony prison. She laid herself over his chest and at last succeeded in untucking his shirt. Meanwhile his bulge rested between the two cheeks of her very toned ass, and she rubbed against it with her subtle motions. Eagerness burned in her rosy cheeks. Her downy, golden hair fell around their faces, dividing them from the world, but a few deep breaths later, her giggling petered out and she rolled off, spending the last of her laughter beside him on the floor. “Sorry, sorry, we haven't even eaten dessert yet.” she said breathlessly, jumping up and scurrying back to the kitchen. Rick discarded his sweatshirt; it was already getting too warm for him. Watching on as Sugarbell's perky rear bounced away did nothing for dissipating his erection, begging him as it was, to just get on with it already. It didn't have long to calm down before she returned with a plate of tiny, pink cookies. “No, don't get up,” she said as she set the plate down on the rug, “Go ahead and try one, I'll pick a present for both of us, from the North Pole team.” The first bite of the little cookie exploded with crispy flakiness and a sophisticated undertone of strawberry. Rick snuck a second cookie before Sugarbell had time to return from the tree, with a couple gifts. “These are incredible!” he blurted through a cheekful of crumbs. She took one for herself and examined it between pinched fingers. “I wish I had more time to make them. It's the little touches that make the difference, but I wasn't able to let the egg whites get to room temperature before I beat them. And I know they say you can use a hand mixer to get the same results, but I think merenge needs the personal touch of a handheld whisk, even if it takes longer.” “What are you talking about? They're delicious.” Sugarbell sat next to him, leaning against the sofa, and kissed his cheek. Then sliding a present into his lap to open. “They're called sugarbells. My mom's version is so much better than mine.” Rick looked at the gift tag, but the sender's name was in Cyrillic so it was hopeless to try reading it. “Where did all these come from anyway?” “Let's see… that one's from the workshop, most of them are. The sender is an elf named Tart. Technically it's actually Tort, but that's what he prefers.” Rather than carefully preserve the beauty of the wrapping on her gift, Sugarbell plunged her fingertip under a flap and ripped the paper off in a single ragged chunk. She tipped the lid up to see inside, yelped, and put the package out of reach. “What was it?” Rick asked. The box was on her other side and she leaned in the way of his arm when he started reaching around to get at it. “Well, it was, uh,” she stammered, eyes darting back and forth until she realized there wasn't a way out of telling him the truth. “It's something of a gift to both of us, from the workshop's confectioner.” She waved him close and whispered with a warm breath against his ear, “Edible underwear.” Before he could respond with his own bewilderment, Sugarbell crawled away to fetch another pair of presents from the pile. She wouldn't look him in the eye when she thrust the next one into his hands. Did she think she hadn't already crossed the line from adorable into suggestive, or was it just too much to be hit smack in the face with the implications? This self-conscious side of her was adorable in its own way too. He decided to prod her. “Alright,” he said, “New rule: no hiding anything, and presents have to be tried out right away. Okay?” Sugarbell nodded solemnly and began drawing the hem of her sweater up, laying bare her tight, smooth belly, and was saved at the last moment when it crested her ribs and Rick caught her wrist. His bluff overwhelmingly called, Rick let her off easy and kissed her forehead. “Sorry, I just meant we should show off what we got. No need to strip right here and now.” “So,” Rick said, uneasy in his seat, “Are there going to be any of these that aren't… romantic?” At least Sugarbell looked ruffled too, swaying on her knees after pulling out another couple gifts. “Most of these are from elves who really wanted to be with you tonight instead of me.” She stuffed a cookie in her face rather than continue explaining. They opened the next wave of gifts in one fell swoop of torn paper and ribbon to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Out came a matching set of horrendously ugly sweaters in their respective sizes and a book titled 'guide to faeries' which Sugarbell suspiciously slid underneath the pile without mentioning in any way. Rick said, “Well, at least we haven't found any dildos…” There was a pregnant pause as Sugarbell's eyes flicked toward a long, slim present leaned up against the wall. Sugarbell reverently set each box before them and for the first time went to the trouble of finding an edge to peel back instead of ripping the thing to shreds in a festive feeding frenzy. “These two,” she said, “Are from Santa himself.” In the first box, addressed to Rick, there was a wooden doll in the shape of a tiny, flaxen-haired elf complete with a red dress and curly-toed shoes festooned with actual, minuscule bells. The other package, Sugarbell's, opened to reveal a group photo with dozens of short people trying to get their heads in frame all at once, almost crowding out the wizened man in the center. She held it close to her chest for a long moment and set it aside. “Good thing that's the last of them, garbage bag is near to bursting.” Rick said. “That wasn't the last one.” She tugged on his shirt to keep him in place before he could retreat to take out the trash. “What do you mean, did I miss one under the tree?” Sugarbell crawled behind him and when he tried to look, she gently turned his face away. Moments later, the muffled sound of wool dropping on the carpet came amid the soft jazz Christmas carols and the crackle of fire. Pale arms enveloped his neck and naked softness pressed against his nape. “You still have one more present to unwrap.” she whispered. He took her hands in his and pushed down his feelings; this was too good to be true. “It's okay, I understand everything now. I had a lot of fun tonight and I appreciate the gesture, but you don't have to go that far for someone like me.” She slid down his back like dripping cream and he felt her lips lay a line of pecks up from his neck to his ear. She whispered; “There's such a thing as being too nice, you know. A girl might get her feelings hurt like that.” Her tongue ran the length of his earlobe and she nibbled at it as a penalty. Her voice was sultry and inviting; “I'm not wearing a bra, can't you feel that?” She rubbed herself against him to ensure he would feel her firm nipples tickling across his back. “Does it feel like I'm coerced? Or do I seem like the kind of girl who would act this way for just anyone? We found that letter six months ago… I've been watching you, falling in love with you, for so long.” Each passing day my desire for you has grown. “There's no way…” “No way someone like me could fall for someone like you?” Sugarbell bit his neck. If only the really big things counted toward being good, there would be so few good people, wouldn't there?“ "I mean, as long as you're okay with it.” There was some rustling behind his back as Sugarbell wriggled and reached back, producing her little, denim shorts so he could see and dropping them in his lap. The girl hugging herself so tightly to his back was wearing nothing but panties and moaned into his ear, “Carry me to the bed, please?” Libido won out; Rick turned and scooped her up to a giddy squeal, as her legs locked around his waist, Rick was blessed with handfuls of bouncy ass and hurriedly carried her to the his room to set her down in bed. She'd done her magic in there as well, ceiling hung with red and gold garlands, mistletoe above each doorway. The bedspread was made with a quilted comforter patterned with reindeer frolicking across the tundra. It was obvious that she wanted to end up in there from the start. Sugarbell pulled his head down for a kiss, prodding between his lips with the tip of her tongue, eagerly melding herself to his body, mingling her tongue with his. They came apart with a heavy breath, forgetting how long they had been under. She covertly undid the buckle of his belt and tugged his pants down into a heap at his feet, then delved underneath his t-shirt again, spread her delicate fingers across his chest, and pressed herself into him as he drew it over his head. Abruptly, she tweaked his nipples and retreated before he could retaliate, plopping herself on his bedspread and, calming herself a pinch, spread her knees apart. The one article of clothing between them was a pair of red, lacy panties with a cotton sprig of mistletoe hung by a little bow. As Rick gawked at the dainty outline. The panties were tied at both hips, with stretch lace straps. Sugarbell squirmed, her own gaze flitting to and from his growing erection, but she kept her legs open. “It's mistletoe…” she said quietly. “Um, yeah.” “You know what that means, don't you?” In answer, Rick crawled down and kissed her thigh. Her fingers twined in his hair and an unrestricted murmur of pleasure came from above, encouraging him to advance toward her heat, laying kisses all the way up her creamy thigh until he was inches away from her warm aroma. The fabric was in the way, but he could feel her silkiness on his lips, against his tongue. Her fingers left their comfortable place in his hair to pull on the knots at her hips, let her panties fall away and revealed bare, pink skin. Rick wasted no time, pushed forward to kiss her again, running his tongue along her lips, pausing to pin in his mind the spots where she moaned or her leg twitched against his head. Already he could feel wetness on his tongue, heat spreading throughout her body. A chorus of gasps and moans fell from above and quick peeks down below showed that Sugarbell's toes were curling. Pride swelled in his chest as he smooched and licked her most sensitive spots. “Okay, stop,” Sugarbell pushed his head away and sighed, falling back for a second before rolling backwards onto her knees on the bed. “Come here,” she said, patting the space beside her, “Lie down right here, on you back.” He obeyed and had a shock. He would have said something, but a lingering lick up his shaft to the tip stole his words with a moan. Delicate fingers wrapped around it and gently stroked as she nestled against his thigh and lapped at his balls, merrily humming as she took pleasure in the situation. Popping a testicle in her mouth and swirling it around with her tongue, Sugarbell's pert ass swayed in the air, her other hand wandering up her leg so she could rub herself against her palm. Rick could only reach down to pet her head as she suckled. Sugarbell slowly ran her tongue around the rim of his glans, so sensitive that Rick almost lost himself in the pleasure, but he relished every moment of those bright, green eyes bobbing down on him. She took him deeper into her mouth, rubbing the tip of his cock against the inside, bulging her rosy cheek like a chipmunk. Her hips bucked against her hand and mewls of pleasure escaped from her glistening lips, bringing Rick to the just before the point of no return where his whole body clenched to keep the amazing feeling from ending. And she flopped limp between his legs, tenderly lapping at his balls as his cock twitched for release in her hand. "Come on, sweetie pie,” she said, “Isn't there somewhere else you'd like to do that?” Rick sat up and pulled her into his lap facing him; where her soft slit straddled his throbbing erection. “Do you have any protection?” he asked. Sugarbell bent her head into his chest and sputtered laughter. “Like I said, there's such a thing as being too nice.” She guided the tip of his cock to her entrance and started putting weight on it, softly grunting with the effort of fitting him inside, squealed when it pushed in the first inch. “Does it hurt?” “Shut up.” she moaned, hugging herself close so he couldn't see the pain in her eyes and insist they stop. “I j-just need to get used to it, okay?” Over the next minute her warm tightness enveloped his cock inch by inch until Sugarbell's butt rested comfortably in his lap and she breathed a sigh of relief. Rick turned up her chin for a kiss, hoping their intertwined tongues would distract from the pain, stroking her creamy, pale skin with special attention paid to her ticklish spots, taking a breast in hand and fiddling with a nipple like a hard pebble. Her sighs of pleasure washed against his chest and she closed her eyes to enjoy each touch to its fullest, savoring the feeling of fullness in her loins. She snaked her arms around him, linking her fingers behind his back, and began swirling her hips, gently moving his cock inside her, sliding her bouncy ass across his thighs. He felt like he could burst at any minute, couldn't resist taking a handful of ass, causing a refreshing whimper against his chest as he squeezed. Rick buried his face in her fluffy, golden hair to keep his senses, taking in the invigorating scent of peppermint and sweat. Little tickles made moaned giggles fall on his ears and Sugarbell slowly became more comfortable with his size, increasing her motion's intensity until she was almost thrusting against his last inch. Her bright, green eyes appeared again as Rick surprised Sugarbell by slowly flipping her down onto her back. He kept the last pace she was comfortable with, guided by her tiny, urging moans to start going faster and deeper. She splayed her arms above her head and gripped the pillow she found there, handing over control to him with her legs wrapped around his waist. Free to go wild, Rick slowly pulled out and pushed himself back in to the hilt, leering at the way Sugarbell squirmed underneath, her breast rippling with sharp breaths. Then again, a bit faster, and again until he was properly thrusting, and he joined the chorus of moans. Sugarbell pulled his head down into a kiss and shakily whispered, “Harder~” He grabbed her waist, ramming himself inside her pussy as she wriggled in ecstasy, bright eyes rolled back and she bit his shoulder in anticipation of the finale. It came on like a wave, forcing him as deep as he could go, balls slapping against wet ass cheeks as he flooded her tight pussy and she tightened in gratification, overwhelmed by sensation as Rick pounded inside her. When the moment of passion had passed, Rick laid at her side as she relaxed into quiet contentment. But it didn't last long before she crawled atop him, laying her head on his chest humming a festive tune. “That was amazing.” he said, absentmindedly stroking her hair. Sugarbell kissed his chest. “Lots better than your hand, isn't it? Heh, you're pretty big. Human girls don't know what they're missing out on.” Her fingertips traced the way down between his legs, wrapped around his shrinking dick and said, “Good job, mister, wanna take me for another spin?” Rick laughed and she rubbed herself against his chest as she joined in, bright eyes merrily twinkling. “Can't fault a girl for trying, can you? It is two in the morning I suppose. Christmas night's almost over and done.” She tugged up the blanket they'd displaced and snuggled herself against him, pointy ear tickling his neck, and hummed a lullaby as the day's exhaustion made sleep less and less voluntary. The morning sun muddled through snow-filled clouds to gently wake Rick. He'd slept clean through the usual time, had a transient shock before remembering the office would be closed for the week. And he was alone. Last night had to have happened. Peppermint lingered in the air and a hickey stung on his neck, but she wasn't there. Of course, he thought, it was a monkey's paw. She'd said she was a Christmas present, and the day had passed… He forced himself out of bed and dressed, then headed for the kitchen. Where a woman in a red turtleneck and costume antlers was using the stove. “Morning, sleepy-head~” Sugarbell cooed, “I'm almost done with brunch so go ahead and take a seat.” “You're still here.” “Of course I am, why? Oh, there's nowhere I need to be.” “I thought I was only going to get the one night.” Sugarbell turned off the stove and set the table with leftover ham omelets and freshly-baked cinnamon rolls. “That's not a girlfriend, that's a one-night stand.” she said, standing on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, “And we still have to continue where we left off after all.” By Demi urging for Literotica

She's had the organist. Now she wants the Vicar.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mia weakly raised her hand and switched off the shower."That was amazing, Gordy-pie. Organists really are good with their hands!""Not so bad yourself," he panted. "Wow. I enjoyed that immensely! You're quite a lass, Mia.""I'd like to see you play the organ," she said, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel."I need to get my breath back first!" He laughed, as Mia began playfully drying him off. "God, you're an eager little beaver aren't you?""Hee hee. Yes, but what I meant was, I'd like to see you play the church organ. I've not been inside a church for years. Jenna said that St Michael's is cool.""It's a nice church." I wonder what else she's told her? Gordon thought. "Why not come along to the Sunday service? You can see me in action there, so to speak. After the service, you can have a go on the organ if you'd like. Do you play any musical instruments?""Guitar and violin, but I've not practiced for ages.""Ah, so strings are your thing? That's good. It'd be nice to have a violinist in the choir. One of the choristers plays the trumpet. Which keeps him from singing and I'm glad of it as his voice is bloody awful."Mia sniggered. "You're funny, Gordy-pie. I really like you. Are all organists as fun as you?""Nay lass. I'm one of a kind. He pulled her close and kissed her neck and lips. He was an incredible kisser, and she was curious to know more about him."Are you married?""Long divorced," came his reply. "I'm married to the pipe organ, as they say." He wondered if Jenna had mentioned anything about their various liaisons over the past year, and was about to say something, when the bathroom door suddenly opened."Jen! Ever thought of knocking before entering?" Mia gasped, covering herself with a towel."I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" She turned to Gordon, who grinned sheepishly at her."Um, hello!""Funny place to have organ lessons, Gordon," Jenna said, as she watched him squirm."Gordy-pie was just showing me how good an organist is with his hands, weren't you?" Mia said, kissing him. "And you know what, he's amazing!""Oh I'm well aware of how good he is," Jenna replied, folding her arms.Sensing disapproval, Gordon attempted to explain. "It just happened. I didn't know your cousin was here," he prattled. "I put the plant pots in the yard, went into the kitchen and she was just there, wearing nothing but a towel!""You don't need to explain yourself, Gordy-pie. We've not done anything wrong," Mia said. "We're both single. Why are you so uptight, Jenna? Is it because we're in the vicarage? Is that like, a sin or something?"Jenna was in no position to claim the moral high ground. "No, no of course not. I was, just a bit surprised, that's all. It's fine. Just, try to be a bit more discreet, Mia. What if Simon had walked in?""Oh I'm sure the good reverend would approve," Gordon smiled, winking at her.The perceptive Mia noticed his gesture and wondered what he was hinting at."Jenna took a deep breath. "Okay, well I'm going to have a coffee. I'll leave you to get dressed. Do you want a drink, Gordon?""A tea would be lovely. I'm parched. Thanks!""I'll have tea as well, please." Mia added.Jenna left the bathroom."She's acting weird," Mia said. "There's something she's not telling me."Oh boy, wait until you find out, Gordon thought. Your mind will be blown."Maybe she's a bit envious!" Gordon said as he picked up his clothes, and wondered where his underpants had gone."Can I keep these, Gordy-pie?" Mia giggled, holding up his white briefs."Think they're too big for you!""I don't want to wear them. I want to keep them under my pillow and sniff them at night.""In that case, they're all yours! But I want your knickers in return!""Fair's fair!" She tossed him her pale pink cotton undies to him."Thanks!""I loved our shower time," Mia said, kissing him again. "And I loved your big cock. You're a sexy man, Gordy-pie.""Gordy-pie hopes Mia-pie can play with his organ again very soon!" the organist replied as they got dressed and headed downstairs.Jenna brought them both a cup of tea as they sat down in the lounge."Gordon, you're not going to put up with her calling you that cringey nickname are you?" she said, handing him the cup."I like it. It's cute," he said, as Mia rested her head on his shoulder."It's childish. If someone had called you that a year ago, you'd have bitten their head off. You used to have a terrible temper.""Ah well that was before I saw the light," he said, sipping his tea. "When you, showed me the way." He smiled at Jenna as she sat opposite them. "For that, you know I am forever grateful," he added."Did you become a born again Christian like Jenna, Gordy-pie?" Mia asked."I've always been a Christian," Gordon replied. "I just sin a lot, that's all. As we all do, right?" He raised an eyebrow at the vicar's wife. "But we keep praying for forgiveness every week, and luckily for us, God is the forgiving sort, eh?"The front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Good lord, I need a large brandy!" He gasped, tossing the car keys on the table."What I have seen, can't be unseen, and what I've heard, can't be unheard!""Whatever's the matter Simon?" Jenna said, standing up."You were right, Jen. Gladys Wilcox and the churchwarden. They're, at it!""Told you so," Jenna said. "Actual sex? I'm not being ageist but can Gladys manage that at her age?""No. Regular vanilla sex would've been easier to deal with. Actually, I think gerbilling would be easier to deal with. But seeing Norman, naked in her backyard, wearing a pinny and being struck on his arse with a riding crop,”Jenna cleared her throat, trying to silence him, given that they had company." She treats him like a slave and he enjoys it!" The vicar continued, unaware there was an audience. "And there's more. She knows about the storeroom threesome, and you won't believe this, she proudly told me, that sometime during Lent, she performed oral sex on Gordon.""Ahem. Simon, shush, we've got," Jenna cringed. "Wait, what? She gave Gordon oral?"Mia's jaw dropped."Sucked him off whilst he was sat at the church organ! She'd wanted him to be her slave, but he declined. So she set her sights on Norman instead. Well we both know Gordon prefers a younger woman, right?" He turned round, and noticed Gordon sat on the settee, and Mia sat next to him."Oh, good afternoon Gordon!""I brought those plant pots you wanted," the organist meekly uttered.Later,Jenna and Reverend Morris sat on the settee watching an episode of Father Brown, although neither were really paying attention to it."I can't get that image out of my head. Gladys giving Gordon a blowjob and whipping Norman's bare buttocks. I know we've, engaged in some naughtiness, but I never imagined one of the oldest members of the church was into that sort of thing!""Good for her," Jenna replied. "Kinkiness aside, it's nice for her to have Norman as a lodger. I mean, she lives alone and in this day and age, older people can feel vulnerable. I know Gladys misses her hubby a lot.""Oh Bert. Yes. He was dead long before I came to St Michaels. Bishop George told me more about him. He was the organist before Gordon took over. Apparently he was quite a character.""I'm sure he was. And the current organist seems to be going the same way.""Jen, you seem a bit unhappy about Gordon having intercourse with your cousin today. Is that because you're protective of her or because of, well, I know how close you are to him?"Jenna sighed. "Oh Simon. I'm ashamed of myself. I actually felt jealous when I saw the two of them together. How selfish is that? After everything you did for me last year when it was my birthday, and you gladly accepted my dalliances with the other male members of the church. Can you forgive me? I wish to say a prayer of forgiveness."The vicar took his wife's hands in his. "Of course I can, my love. And I understand how you feel. You see, with Mia here, I think you've got something you've never had to deal with before.""What's that?""A rival!"Mia was eavesdropping from the staircase. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she listened."Holy shit, Jenna's had more men than Elton John's had wigs. She had the nerve to have a go at me for seducing Tom. And she's slept with Gordon too? No wonder she looked so tense. Ha! And sweet, Reverend Simon is okay with that? That's not what it teaches in the Bible, surely?"She slipped back to her bedroom."Let us pray together," Reverend Morris said."Father, I return to You with my sins before me. Nowadays, I lack compassion for my brother and sisters, my eyes are clouded with wrongdoings my heart is against. Opposing Your Words, I sinned and done evil in Your eyes. I drained myself off Your kindness and followed my worldly desires. Father, guide me as You are right in Your verdict and justified in Your judgment. Do not leave me astray as I pray for a blissful life with You and a life free of evil. In Your Mercy, I pray.Amen."-(Luke 15:18, Psalm 51:3-4)"I feel better," Jenna said, opening her eyes. She ran a finger down her husband's cheek. "Simon, let's go to bed. Mia's asleep. The guest bedroom is right at the other end of the landing. She won't hear us. Tonight I need my Vicar's touch,”"What a good idea! All this talk of Gladys Wilcox getting her hands on men's dicks, I'd quite like some hands on mine!"A Girl With FantasiesMia lay back on the bed in the darkness, her mind buzzing with the events of the day. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out the pair of Gordon's briefs."Enjoyed you, Gordy-pie! You were a total sweetie."She sighed, pressing the crotch of the underwear against her nose and inhaling deeply, whilst fingering herself with her other hand. Gordon's undies bore a pleasant, musky, manly scent, a faint mark which she assumed was pre-cum, and a couple of wiry grey pubic hairs. Perfect. Knowing that the organist's thick cock had been snugly contained within was enough to make her climax again. She wondered if he was wanking off and sniffing her knickers."Hope he likes mine too." She wanted to see the organist again, as sex with him had been amazing, but Mia had her sights set on a bigger prize - and this one wore a clerical collar.InsomniaGordon was in bed, but having difficulty sleeping. His mind was a complete whirl. He reflected how in the past year, he'd gone from being completely sex-starved, to having more sex than he'd ever had during a whole fifteen years of marriage, and during his late teens, when he'd been a horny youth, desperate to sleep with any woman. In the Eighties, those halcyon pre-Internet days, just stumbling across a discarded porn magazine in the bushes was more valuable than gold. He remembered his time at university, when he used to spy on the nurses undressing at a nearby hospital.He chuckled as he remembered losing his virginity to his piano teacher - whilst she was giving him a tour of Blackpool Tower ballroom. He credited her with starting his interest in wanting to play organs,"Look at me now," he said out loud. "I got seduced by a woman young enough to be my daughter. Who is now the vicar's wife. I fucked a Ukrainian woman in the church. I've been fucking the vicar's wife every week in the church. I took part in a threesome with her and the vicar. I and several other men gave her a facial in the church. I got my dick sucked by an eighty-six year old pensioner too. Now I'm fucking the eighteen-year old cousin of the vicar's wife, and exchanging underwear with her."He reached for the pair of pink knickers and gave them a good sniff, stroking his cock at the same time. The crotch had dried, but earlier it had been wet and sticky with Mia's pussy juices. A heavenly scent."The world is a bloody mess right now, but I'd say my life is pretty good," he smiled. "I hope Mia wants to see me again. She's a lovely, horny little thing. I hope she comes to church this Sunday."He wanked himself off happily, before slipping into a blissful slumber. For the first time in a year, he dreamt of a woman other than Jenna.

Jenna's teenage cousin turns up at the vicarage.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It was the second Sunday after Trinity. Over at St Michael's vicarage, the morning eucharist had finished and Reverend Morris and his wife Jenna were discussing the upcoming events in the church calendar."Josh gets ordained next month, so that'll be a fun occasion. Big party over at his place. He's so excited for that day to come. It's been remarkable how he's come out of his shell. When he joined our church as curate a year ago, he was so nervous and shy. Now look at him." Reverend Morris said."He's a real asset to the church," Jenna replied, sipping a coffee, as she read through the church newsletter. "I like to think that I, helped build up his confidence a bit.""Oh you certainly did, I'm sure," the vicar said, oblivious to what his wife was referring to. "Now, apart from that big event, there's not much happening in July. I'm adding the study of the Book of Exodus in the services. Last year's summer study of Genesis went down a treat,”The sound of the doorbell interrupted him."I wonder who that can be?" Reverend Morris said, hurrying out of the living room. "If it's Gordon, he's early. He said he would call round at 2."He opened the front door. A slim young woman around eighteen or nineteen, stood on the doorstep. Brunette hair that was in pigtails. Huge brown eyes like Bambi. She was dressed in a low cut pink peasant top, tight cow-print shorts and ballet shoes. By her side was a suitcase and hold-all."Hello. Can I help you?" Reverend Morris said."Um," the woman began, in a nervous voice. "Mr., um, Reverend Morris. Is, Jenna in? I'm Mia, her cousin.""Oh really? Gosh, well do come in, you're very welcome! You look loaded up there, let me give you a hand." He ushered her inside and carried her luggage."Jen! You've got a visitor!"Jenna looked up and her eyes widened. "Mia?""Hello CJ," Mia said, with a sheepish grin.Reverend Morris blinked."Cousin Jenna," Jenna replied."Ah," He understood."What are you doing here? Last I heard you were at Salford uni.""It's a long story," Mia sighed, as Reverend Morris gestured for her to sit on the settee. "Um, I quit.""Oh no," Jenna said. "What happened?""Oh Jen, it was awful. I just couldn't settle into university life at all. I made a mistake choosing that Art and Design course. It wasn't for me. The lectures stressed me out, but worst of all was the bullying." She dabbed at imaginary tears in her eyes with a tissue. "Nine months and I just couldn't cope with it any longer, so I jacked it in."Jenna was about to say something, but her husband cut in."You poor thing. God, if there's one thing I hate, it's bullying. Sad that it occurs in all walks of life. A nasty part of human nature."Noticing the reverend had been completely taken in by Mia's story, Jenna cleared her throat. "What did your parents say?"There was an awkward pause."You haven't told them, have you?""Are you serious Jen? Mum will go nuclear if she finds out. I'm just not ready to deal with that, yet. She was so proud when I got in that place. Dad will be more understanding but, look, I have a favor to ask. Can I stay with you for, a bit? I used up my last bit of cash on the train fare. I'm broke and I have nowhere to stay. I can't face going back to my parents. They'll treat me like a kid. Please? I won't be any bother. I'll do housework for you, I'll,”"Of course you can stay!" Reverend Morris smiled. "Our vicarage is always available to those who need it. We have a spare bedroom." He turned to Jenna. "We had Bishop George staying with us during Lent, remember? I'm sure your cousin can't be a worse lodger than him. She looks like she's gone through a tough few months."Powerless to refuse, Jenna reluctantly agreed. Oh Simon, you sweet, naive man. You have no idea what you're letting yourself in for! She thought."Oh you mean it? I can stay? Oh; thank you so much, Reverend!""Simon. You can call me Simon!" Reverend Morris replied. "It's nice to finally get to meet you, Mia. I know you and Jenna drifted apart a bit when your parents moved, but it's so nice when relatives reunite, isn't it?" the reverend said as he went to pick up the luggage."If only everyone could be as nice as you and Jenna!" Mia gushed.Jenna pulled a face at her cousin and whispered to her. "You are so dead, cousin!""Right, well, I'll introduce you to your new room!” Simon said as he returned holding all the bags. “This way! I'll carry your stuff for you." Reverend Morris carried up the suitcase and hold-all."Your hubby is a total gent," Mia whispered to Jenna."Oh, you might be able to fool him, but you're not fooling me," Jenna replied. "As soon as he's gone out later, you are going to tell me everything."Reverend Morris led Mia upstairs and down the long landing. Mia walked right by his side looking something between an infatuated schoolgirl gazing at her crush and a timid little lamb sticking close to the shepherd. At eighteen, Mia was very aware of the effect she had on men. Her Bambi eyes, teamed with the brunette hair, gave her an innocent look that convinced boys and men alike that she couldn't possibly know what effect she was having on them. But she knew quite well, and she loved the things she could get by putting her skills to good use."Here we are," Reverend Morris said, opening the bedroom door at the end. "It's not massive, but it's got a pleasant view overlooking the garden."Mia walked in. The room was nicely decorated. Instead of the usual neutral color scheme of magnolia, the walls were painted in very pale blue, with white ceiling and a sandy colored carpet. Instead of curtains, a white window blind, as was the current trend. A single bed, chest of drawers and ladder desk and chair made up the furniture."I don't know why I painted this room blue, it always looks so cold, and it doesn't really match the carpet. No wardrobe, but there's a full chest of drawers and the bed is a divan, with two storage compartments you can put your bits and bobs in. There's a hook on the back of the door if you need to hang some clothes up.""Oh I love it!" Mia said, smiling at him. "It's like being at the beach. The floor is sand and the walls are the sea. It's so restful and appealing. Really brings out my creative side. I think I could do lots of painting and drawing in here.""I'm glad you like it. Jenna and I want you to feel comfortable and safe here. Charity is so important to Christians like us.""Oh yes, I understand Rev, um, Simon. And I am so grateful. Um, do I have to start going to church? I mean I was raised in a Christian home but I sort of drifted,” Mia said, giving him a coquettish look.""Ha, no worries! We're not going to force you to attend a Sunday service or anything so relax. Whether you're a believer or not, everyone is catered for in our vicarage. We don't judge.""Jenna told me that your church is a nice one," Mia said, gazing at the reverend. He's rather average in looks but this guy is a total sweetie I can tell. Not an ounce of malice in him. Jenna's really landed on her feet with this one."She's right! St Michael's is a lovely place of worship. I'm very honored to be its vicar. Of course it wasn't always like that, but I like to think that I've really turned things round and made a difference. I credit Jenna for helping me in, many ways," he continued, and Mia noted the pause.Wonder what he means by that? She thought.He continued. "I took over in 2019 after the sudden death of the previous vicar, Reverend Smith. Talk about being thrown in at the deep end. Only a few months later, the pandemic happened. What a stressful time that was."Mia nodded patiently."Sorry, I'm prattling on! I'll leave you to get sorted out. I talk too much. Always in sermon mode,”"That's alright, Simon. I'm sure your sermons are really interesting." Mia said, flattering him some more."Ah well, haven't heard too many snores in the aisles of late.""I really appreciate you helping me like this," Mia said, sitting on the bed. "I just don't know how I was going to cope. And I want to pay my way. I suppose I'll have to apply for Universal Credit. What with the cost of living crisis and everything. Not sure if there are any jobs going in this town? I don't know this area at all and I can't drive,”"One step at a time, Mia. let's get you settled in first.""I really do want to work. Is there anything I could do at your church?"Reverend Morris scratched the back of his head and sat down next to her."Well, it's mostly volunteer work there, which is no good when you need an income, oh wait a minute, Norman the churchwarden mentioned that the church hall needs a cleaner, 10 hours a week. It's only a five minute walk from here. We had one of the Sunday school teacher's lads doing it, but I confess he rarely turned up and was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. I was disappointed in Jordan, as the pay was pretty good for an entry-level job.""I'll do that job! I'd love to do that!" Mia said. "Oh please say yes!""Hmm, well let me talk it over with Jenna first, and Norman. Cleaning is a bit boring. You'd be required to put out chairs and tables too. They're only lightweight folding ones, so no dangerous lifting of heavy stuff or anything. But Norman will be able to tell you more about what's involved. We have a lot of functions held in the hall, not just church stuff. Monday is badminton class. Tuesday it's the over-60s hot yoga. Wednesday is the midweek eucharist, so it's tea and coffee morning. Thursday and Friday you get two days off as nothing happens then. Saturday is the local amateur dramatics group. Oh and Sunday, the most important day of all, is the main service at church, and a social gathering afterwards.""Oh I just love cleaning up," Mia said. "Tidiness is good for mental health you know. It keeps your mind occupied." She slid a bit closer to him."You're really enthusiastic aren't you?" Well If your heart's set on it, I'm sure I can pull a few strings and get you in. Don't want you to feel like your talents are being wasted in what I consider to be just a casual job though.""To be honest, I never had any idea what I wanted to do when I left school," Mia continued. "I never wanted to go to uni. I feel like such a failure for quitting.""Don't put yourself down," he said, reassuring her. "Sometimes God has a different path for us. And you can't stay somewhere that's making you unhappy. It takes guts to break away from a path that someone else has set for you. I can tell you have a great attitude. Your talents obviously lie elsewhere. In time, I'm sure you'll find something you truly excel at.""I do hope so," Mia said, pouting at him. She leaned in closer, but the moment was broken by the sound of the landline phone ringing downstairs."Oh that reminds me, I need to call on one of the flock." He stood up. "I'll leave you to unpack Mia. If you need anything, I'm sure Jenna can assist you. I have to go out. I'll see you later. Take care!"He hurried out of the bedroom."I think I'm gonna love it here," Mia giggled to herself. "I think I need to, repair my relationship with God." She gave the most mischievous of grins as she flopped back in bed."But I also plan on sinning, a lot!"Reverend Morris rushed down the stairs."That was the garage on the phone," Jenna said, putting down the receiver. "My car's passed its MOT and ready to be collected.""Great. I'll drop you off there as I just remembered I promised Gladys Wilcox I'd take her a copy of that paperback I recommended at last week's service. Hills of the North by Jenny Talwartz." He rummaged around on the coffee table and held up the book in question. "A thrilling tale set in rural England, about passion, blackmail and a woman's fulfilling journey to find romance and regain her faith.""Sounds a good one.""It got rave reviews on Amazon. I was worried it might be a bit too racy for some of the older members of the congregation. I haven't had chance to read it yet but apparently it contains violence and several sex scenes.""Right up Gladys Wilcox's alley I'd say," Jenna replied, grinning. "I keep telling you, there's something kinky going on between her and the churchwarden. Okay, give me five minutes, and I'll be ready. Need to have a quick word with our non-paying guest.""You're alright with her staying, aren't you? Sorry, I tend to just dive in and say yes to everything. Your cousin seems like such a lovely person.""I don't mind, but she's not the innocent little thing you think she is," Jenna said. "Oh she's not a criminal or anything, but she can be a bit, indiscreet at times.""Aren't we all a bit like that at eighteen? Not much life experience to fall back on.""Hmm, I suppose. I will phone Aunt Kathleen later and let her know that Mia's staying here. I'd better prepare to gently break the bad news that her daughter won't be getting those letters after her name."Mia was admiring herself in the wall mirror when Jenna came in, and closed the bedroom door."Alright you. Now how about giving me the whole truth about why you quit uni? You're good, but your acting skills need work. Better make it quick as Simon's waiting to give me a lift to the garage, so spill."The brunette took a deep breath. "Alright. Look, don't give me too much grief. I did something wrong and that's why I had to quit.""What happened?""I seduced my lecturer and slept with him."She gasped. "You did what?" After the initial shock, Jenna couldn't help but admire her cousin's brazen attitude. Seeing as she herself had seduced several men from the church, plus a former Catholic priest, and most recently, the town mayor. Not to mention there were her weekly "organ lessons" with Gordon,"So he was old enough to be my dad. Maybe grandad. He was like, late fifties or something. But he was so hot. Older men really turn me on. You must know how that feels. I mean, your husband is way older than you, right?""Yeah. I'm twenty-one and he's forty." Jenna admitted. "Eighteen and late fifties is one hell of an age gap though.""I know. Oh but Jen. Tom was such a sexy man. Just the type I like. He was a smoker, but not a heavy one. Kind of used to turn me on, smelling smoke on his breath. It added to the attraction, as weird as that sounds. The sex was amazing. Older men are just sexier,”Jenna gave a dreamy sigh. "Yep they are. Can't disagree with you there. Realizing she suddenly had a lot more in common with her cousin, she sat down next to her. "Tell me more about Tom."And so Mia gave her chapter and verse on her spicy adventures at Salford.

 Easter at St. Michael's: Part 2Gordon is reunited with an old crush.Based on a post by Blacksheep, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. The monthly Mother's Union meeting was taking place at Gladys Wilcox's bungalow. There was much to discuss, mainly tomorrow's Easter Sunday service. However the main topic of conversation was the vicar's phallus."He was just standing there, starkers! Swinging, I tell you, swinging. It was like a boa constrictor poking out of a tree. I didn't know where to look!" Mrs. Harris exclaimed."Wish I could've been there," Mrs. Wilcox replied."Really, Gladys!""Well at our age there's not much opportunity for those sorts of thrills is there?" She grinned and glanced at Norman the churchwarden, who said nothing and awkwardly sipped his coffee. Being the only man there, he felt uncomfortable sitting through this, but Mrs. Wilcox had insisted he attend."How come he was naked?" Another woman asked."Said he'd been having a shower, but I know a lie when I see one. If you ask me, him and his wife had been; you know;""Having a quickie?" Mrs. Wilcox replied. Norman almost choked on his coffee, remembering that 21st birthday surprise the vicar had arranged for Jenna in the church, sixteen months ago."Yes, exactly!""You know something, Maureen, I was chatting to Maud Finch, on the bus the other day. Now she lives on Haddock Street, in one of those council houses that overlook the railway line. She tells me that groups of drunk young men are forever going up on that opposite embankment and mooning at passing trains.""Has she made a complaint?""Why on earth would she want to do that?" Mrs. Wilcox spluttered. "I said to her, I'll call round later this week and I'll bring a pair of binoculars!"Over on the other side of town, at 64 Stovepipe Avenue, Gordon Leesmith yawned and sat up in bed. He squinted at the alarm clock. It was ten thirty."Oh Gord, you lazy bugger," he said to himself, stretching his arms. He hadn't intended on having such a long lie-in. Myah had gone to work hours ago. She'd been working Saturdays the past few weeks, covering for Kate, a work colleague who was recovering from major abdominal surgery.Gordon staggered out of bed and scratched his belly as he peered out of the window. The weather seemed reasonable today. The past week had seen some very unsettled conditions, with sunny spells and frequent heavy showers, so typical of British springtime."I'd better get a move on. I promised Myah I'd cook tonight and there's not a bite of food in the house." Gordon didn't relish the prospect of going to the supermarket during the Easter weekend. Every shop was crammed. Besides, he wanted to head to the church and spend an hour practicing on the organ ready for tomorrow's special service. He'd have the church all to himself for once. He relished this temporary period of calm. Easter was always busy for the organist. As well as his full-time job repairing organs, he'd had to play the Wednesday Eucharist, the Maundy Thursday service, yesterday's Good Friday evening service and on Sunday, it was the big one. At least he could rest his fingers on Monday's bank holiday."Can't wait to jet off next month," he muttered, as he hurriedly dressed himself and brewed a cup of tea. He'd booked a week's holiday in Tenerife for himself and Myah. Their first holiday together and they were really looking forward to it. Gordon wasn't one for culture, eco-tourism or trailing round ancient ruins. Sun, sea and all-inclusive hotels were his idea of paradise. Myah had never been to the Canary Islands. He hoped she wouldn't be too bored just lounging on the beach or by the pool all day. He'd booked an adults-only hotel, the four star Golden Vista in Playa de las Americas. It had excellent reviews on TripAdvisor.Meanwhile, at the vicarage;Reverend Morris was in turmoil. "Maureen Harris has got a right mouth on her. Who needs social media when you've got a pensioner who's Britain's answer to Hedda Hopper?""Simon, you're worrying unnecessarily," Jenna said. "You've not done anything wrong. You were in your own home and you didn't know she was there.""Oh, I don't know. I'm the parish vicar and I just accidentally exposed myself in front of an elderly member of my congregation. Can't say I'm too thrilled about that.""Maureen shouldn't have walked in. She was in the wrong. Said she knocked, but when nobody answered, she should've given up and gone.""And I should've locked the front door! I bet she's told everyone at the Mother's Union that she saw me nude!"Jenna shrugged. "So, she saw your cock. I bet many other ladies wish they could've been so lucky!"Gordon parked up on the Tesco Express car park. As expected, the place was heaving with people rushing to get last-minute groceries. Tubs of cut-price garden fence paint were piled up outside the store. As he was looking at these, he heard someone call his name."Gordon? Gordon Leesmith. Is it you?"He spun round in surprise. A tall, slim woman, late sixties at a guess, and with silvery hair cut into a sleek bob, was stood next to him. She was dressed in a long, pale grey coat with fur-lined collar. Underneath, a skirt or dress of some sort, black tights and ankle boots."Uh, hello? Yes, I'm Gordon Leesmith. Who are you?"The woman chuckled. "Oh dear. I really have changed haven't I? You don't remember me, do you?"Gordon blinked as he studied her face carefully, then he let out a gasp."Harriet; Harriet Fairfax?""Guilty!"Gordon was too stunned to speak at first, but he quickly composed himself. After so many years, here was the woman he'd lost his virginity to, way back one summer night in 1985, when he was just eighteen. His former piano teacher!"Oh God! I can't believe it! I; I, it's so wonderful to see you again! I always wondered what happened to you, Harriet. The last time we met was in 1988, when I'd just got my ARCO diploma. After that, you; well, vanished.""That's a long story. Come, let's go and have a coffee. We've both got a lot to catch up on. I'm only here until Tuesday, then I'm flying back home.""You live abroad?""I emigrated to Australia when I got married.""Blimey. I think I need more than a coffee. I know a good place." He took her arm in his and they headed across the road."You certainly have grown in confidence," Harriet smiled. "I always knew you would."At a small pub in the town center, Gordon sipped an overpriced beer and listened intently as Harriet filled him in on her life story. He felt a lump in his throat as she told him of her marriage to Graham, an Australian musician she'd met shortly after Gordon's fateful night in Blackpool Tower."I suppose my head was well and truly turned. I was blinded by love. You have to remember back then in the Eighties, a single woman, mid-thirties and childless, well I was seen as being left on the shelf. Graham seemed the perfect man; and as I was never close to my parents, I figured here was my one chance to have a new start. New country, new job. So we settled in Perth. I started work as a music teacher. Loved it. Work was bliss. Unfortunately, marriage to Graham was anything but.""Was he unfaithful?" Gordon asked."No. I would've preferred it if he was. He was abusive. It's because of him that I have partial hearing in my right ear. The beatings got so bad; he beat me black and blue. Even when I was pregnant."Tears pricked Gordon's eyes. "Bastard. Oh God, Harriet. I'm so sorry. Tell me you managed to leave him?""Didn't need to. He took it upon himself to commit suicide one evening. I came back from work and found him swinging in the garage. August 11th, 1997. What a day to remember, eh? He'd always been a heavy drinker. I found out he'd run up massive debts, got himself fired.""Dear God. How did you cope?""Well friends and neighbors rallied round. I'm lucky. I'm one of those people who makes friends easily. I had a good support network. Besides, I had to stay strong, for the sake of my boys, Daniel and Ryan; only got Ryan now."She paused and Gordon wondered whether he should press her further."Daniel; died. He was twelve. A total sweetheart. You see, he was born with Down's Syndrome. Graham never coped with it. He was the loveliest, most gentle boy. Everyone who met him just adored his sunny nature. He loved animals and music. But Graham ignored him. Ryan came along three years later. He's able-bodied. Actually that's why I'm over here. I've been visiting Ryan. He's thirty now. Works as a concert pianist. I'm so proud of him. He's fiercely independent. Doesn't need me fussing over him, but we're still close. This is the last time I'll be flying here. I can't handle these long haul flights any more, now that I'm almost seventy-four. Never did like flying. He'll be the one flying over to see me next time.""You look amazing," Gordon quickly blurted out, wiping his eyes."Heh, thanks.""I'm so sorry you've had to endure all that, Harriet," Gordon sniffed, placing his hand on hers."Thanks for being a good listener. Hey and I'm a survivor. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?""So; you didn't re-marry?""Nah. After Graham died, I focused on being a mum. I got used to being single. Although ten years ago, I met Ray. He's widowed like me and a few years older. He's a total gentleman, bless him. I can't say he excites me sexually. I hope this doesn't sound too mean; he's a bit boring, but at my age, I'm past all that. It's just nice to have someone who's dependable and kind."Gordon nodded. Looking at Harriet, he thought she still looked very attractive. She'd aged well, despite the heartache she'd gone through. A surge of excitement rushed through him."Anyways Gordon, I've prattled on about myself for too long! Tell me what you've been up to all these years!"Without wanting to bore her, Gordon gave a rundown of his life. From his marriage to Marjorie, to her cheating on him and then divorcing him, to becoming organist and choirmaster at St Michael's church, to meeting Myah. He chose to omit any mention of Jenna, the stunning vicar's wife who he'd bedded countless times before Myah arrived on the scene."She's very attractive," Harriet said as Gordon showed her a photo on his smartphone. "You look so happy together. Do you'll think you'll have children in future?""It's a possibility, given that she's much younger than me. Marjorie was adamant she never wanted children. I respected that. I confess I've never given much thought to becoming a dad. But if Myah does want to become a mum, then I'll be up for it.""About the age gap. It's a large one. Has that presented any problems?""It did at first. Her parents were furious. Some hurtful things were said, but her mother and I eventually came to an understanding. Most people at church have been okay but there were a couple of exceptions. It upset me when my cousin Barry called me a "borderline nonce." He was only joking, but it hurt. She'll be twenty in July. Myah was the one who pursued me, not the other way round;""Perhaps Barry was jealous of you. But yes, that was a crass thing to say. Well Gordon, there's one thing I want to experience before I head back Down Under."His eyes widened. "Really? What's that?""I want to see and hear you play a pipe organ! You showed such skill and talent way back in 1985;" she winked at him and he felt that surge of excitement again."Funnily enough, I was planning to have a practice at church today. Tomorrow's a big day, being Easter Sunday. We've got two choirs singing. Care to join me on a trip to St Michael's? It's only a five minute walk from here."The Mother's Union meeting was drawing to a close, but poor Norman could bear it no longer. Mrs. Wilcox was still questioning Mrs. Harris on a certain part of the vicar's anatomy."Ladies, please excuse me; I really need to; er, relieve myself. Thank you for your company and I'll see you at church tomorrow!""Oh yes, take care Norman!" they replied, oblivious to his embarrassment."That's a fine lodger you've got yourself, Gladys. Now I tend to view men as nothing more than useless articles, but he is a true Christian.""Oh he truly is, Maureen. We have such wonderful times together. He was very easy to train!"At St Michael's church, Gordon gave Harriet a quick tour, before leading her to the organ."This is a beautiful church," she said. "That's one thing I miss about living in Australia. All of the churches there are recent by comparison. There isn't the history. Oh there are some lovely ones, but it's not the same. This one goes back to medieval times. I love old buildings.""Yes, it's a nice church. Good community here too. I get on so well with the vicar. Reverend Morris is a good egg. His sermons are rather tedious, but nobody's perfect, eh?" He sat on the organ stool. "Here she is! What do you think?""She's a beauty, Gordon. Three manuals, and the pipework is incredible. A large organ for such a small church.""Aye, she's a grand old lass. I gave her a complete overhaul in January. Replaced some of the big flue pipes. Now she sounds better than ever." He switched on the lamp above the manuals."Very handy having an organist who can fix organs as well as play them. That's a very specialized job, isn't it?""Pretty much. Right; what would you like me to play?"Harriet removed her thick coat and slid onto the stool next to him."Hmm. It's an overplayed piece of music, but I've always liked The Entertainer. You played that for me when you used to come for lessons, remember?""Ah yes. I remember!"As he began to play, Harriet glanced at her former student, no longer a gauche, skinny teenager but a stocky, fifty-six year old man, with silver hair. He had a paunch, but it suited him. He'd grown into his looks and actually looked better now than when he was eighteen. She ran a finger across her chin, and carefully considered her next move. He truly had become a very gifted organist.Gordon was halfway through playing, when a hand on his thigh made him play a wrong note. He stopped and looked down."Umm;""No-one must find out about this." Harriet whispered."Well Myah's at work; and I don't think Ray can see what we're up to from the other side of the world;" Gordon stammered. He couldn't believe history was repeating itself."An old girl like me can still get all hot and bothered seeing an attractive younger man," she teased. Her thigh was pressing against his and his cock was starting to respond."Uh; Harriet," Gordon mumbled, and once again he was transported back to 1985, and was that shy, awkward teenager again. "I; just want you to know. You were my first major crush. Well; I'd fancied other girls, but you; well you just; did it for me.""I'm so glad to hear you say that, Gordon. You were the only student I ever felt attracted to. Truth is, at the time, I was feeling rather sorry for myself and unattractive. When I found out you had a crush on me, it was an incredible turn-on. To be desired by a much-younger man. I knew the whole time.""Guess I wasn't that good at being discreet," Gordon replied.

Goddesses line up to enjoy Dan's bed.Based on a post by DustinMidnight, in 9 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.In front of him were three beautiful women, each of them gorgeous in their own way. Annabelle went to give each of the girls a hug.She started with the blonde, who was wearing a pink tank top and a baseball cap, Plus a pair of short shorts that barely covered her ass. The woman smiled and hugged back.“Annabelle! It's so great to see you!” cooed the blonde “It's been what, 50 years?” After Annabelle broke the hug, the blonde gave her a kiss on the cheek.“Come on, Aphrodite. It's only been a few years. How had Hephaestus been?”“Oh, the usual. Working nonstop and hanging out in his forge. Though Aries always manages to take care of my needs. Right, honey buns?” She giggled, looking back at the man. He grunted and nodded with a thumbs-up.Annabelle moved on to hug the dark-skinned, dark-haired woman in the center who was wearing traditional-looking Indian garb.“Kali, how's it going?” she asked. “Been destroying anything?”“Not for a while. No one has given me a reason to truly destroy. Though I suppose it's good for the world. You know, I've heard you were married.” The woman looked past Annabelle, towards Dan, who gave a wave. It was then he noticed the woman who went by the name Kali had six arms, no, maybe it was ten. All he could tell was that she was very handy. He thought she was quite beautiful, although then he noticed she was wearing a necklace of small skulls. He gulped at that.The woman sneered. “He doesn't seem like much. Too skinny. And Shiva is more handsome.” She shrugged shoulders and patted Annabelle's back with one of her lower arms.The third woman looked Japanese and wore a pink silk robe with red trim.Annabelle moved to hug her and said, “Amaterasu, you're looking good. How's raising the sun going?”The woman kept her eyes down. “It has been fine. Though it's been quite a trip here today. Can we please begin our meeting? The day is young, just as I am.” She bowed her head.“Sure, come in,” said Annabelle, waving them in from the hallway. “We have a lot to talk about. Oh, and let me formally introduce my husband. His name is Dan.” Annabelle smiled as she gestured toward him, showing him off like he was a brand-new pet. Dan wondered if any of the visitors were going to pat him on the head.“He seems nice,” said Aphrodite, “But why go all the way and get married instead of just having a fling? I remember the last time I was married to a mortal.” The beautiful woman shuddered as she looked off into the distance.Dan couldn't help but ask,“What happened?”“It was horrible! I had to cook, I had to clean, no one paid attention to me, I was treated like a wench. He wasn't even great in bed!”Dan might have felt bad for her if she hadn't been sounding like a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. He assumed she was overexaggerating.“So what did you do?” he asked.“Oh, I started the Trojan War and had him killed as soon as he went out into battle. Just like that, I was free, and I could get back with my handsome lug of a boyfriend.” Although she was wearing wedge sandals with tall platforms, she still had to get up on tiptoes to give the man behind her a kiss. He didn't show much expression, just nodded and grunted again.“Well, that's… nice.” Dan felt his head drop. He wasn't sure how to react to that. This was really a situation of utter weirdness, but he figured he'd just go with the flow.“Aphrodite, please don't scare my husband. I don't want him to run away from me just ‘cause you put crazy thoughts in his head.” Annabelle leaned over and kissed his neck. Dan's cheeks turned to a deep red in utter surprise as he smiled at his wife/goddess.Aphrodite smirked. “Oh, fine, heh. Besides, I'm just teasing the cutie. Hey, we better get down to business. I have a manicure appointment in Thessaloniki around six, and I don't want to be late. Then me and Aries-baby are gonna go out to get a drink. He wants to get in a bar fight tonight. He has to let out his anger since wars aren't happening as much as they used to.”Aries nodded as a small smirk crossed his stoic face, as though he couldn't wait to bust heads.“Well, okay,” said Annabelle, raising one eyebrow. “Yes, let's get started. Dan, can I ask you to head to another room? Not that I don't want you here, but this is a discussion between gods. And I don't think you'd enjoy hearing us speak in Celestial.” Annabelle smiled and lightly kissed his forehead. Dan was briefly annoyed, but thinking it over for a second, he decided going elsewhere would be the best option.He nodded and said, “Sure I'll just hang out with Gizzy or something, if I can find her.” He rubbed the back of his head. He was curious about what the Celestial language was, but he had a feeling if he heard it, something bad might happen. He imagined being driven to the point of madness, like maybe no mortal was supposed to truly hear the voice of gods.But then it made him wonder… Did Annabelle actually look like this, or was it just that his mind perceived her as a beautiful woman who looked very much human?. He sighed.“Thanks, sweetheart. I'll call you when we're finished.” Annabelle leaned over and kissed his cheek, and he nodded, heading off down the hallway toward the bedroom.Vanessa stumbled into her room. Her body was hurting. She wasn't sure what was going on. She felt as though she was dying. She couldn't eat and had barely slept. She felt like she was being dragged through a pasture filled with cow shit, and hitting every stinking load those cattle made. She was regretting life. She hated that she had ever met Joe Liesmith. She wished she could just flat-out die.But she was sure that if she tried killing herself, Liesmith would just bring her back. He wasn't human, he was a being, more like a demon in human flesh. But he was strange. He forced her to save people's lives, preventing their deaths, keeping them among the living. She was doing all sorts of good. Yet at the same time, it felt as though she was actually doing harm, like she wasn't supposed to be doing this. Every instinct told her to run, to hide, to get away from that man. But she couldn't, no matter where she went. No matter where Vanessa hid, Liesmith would find her. It was like they were bonded.Vanessa got down on her knees next to her bed. She hadn't done this for a long time, not since her mother died. She cried and began praying to God.“Please, God, help me, I'm in danger, I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I'm being attacked by a demon… or an angel. I don't know, but I feel like he's killing me. Please protect me. I'm begging you. H-He's scaring me, but I don't know why. Send help. Protect me. Just get this monster out of my life. I beg you, I'm begging you! I'll follow you. I'll go to church for you. Fuck, I'll become a nun if I have to! But please save me from this demon, this Joe Liesmith!”“Oh, come on now, I'm not that much of a demon, now, am I, darling?” Joe Liesmith purred. He was suddenly lying on the bed, an apple in one hand and a knife in the other. He slowly began peeling the skin off the fruit.Vanessa recoiled and weakly sank closer to the floor. “What are you?” she asked.“Hmm, I'm me. I'm Joe Liesmith. But if you must know what I am, well, it's clear you're not the sharpest tool in the shed. But how about this. I'll tell you, I'm not some insignificant demon, I'm not a monster, But I am a god.” He stood up on the bed as his body glowed. Vanessa felt herself stumbling backward, scooting a couple feet across the floor, coughing hard as she looked up to him, her body trembling in utter fear.“You're not a god. Gods are supposed to be good, not hurt people. Protectors.” She trembled even more. She wanted to run away, try and get away from this beast. But Liesmith smirked as he looked down at her. Oh, how he loved looking down at mortals; how small, how insignificant they are, only ready to be used when he wanted to use them.“But I am what I am,” he said. “The fact is, you're in my world. I'm just letting you live here.” He chuckled as he leaned down and reached to Cares her chin with his fingers.Vanessa backed away again. “What is it you want?”“Oh, nothing much, just to get your former boyfriend to leave his wife, my ex-wife. He took something that belongs to me, and as I've said once, and I'll say again, I don't like to share.”He growled as though something was pulsing in his head. It was almost as if anything that went wrong would drive this creature, this god off the rails, and nothing would sate him until he felt everything was restored.“Then why are you hurting me? Why am I in pain?” Her breathing was getting heavy as she felt her legs trembling underneath her.Liesmith chuckled more as he leaned down.“Because life is pain, it's chaos, it's unruly madness. My alignment is for creating and building, but at the same time, letting that creation destroy and run around like a pure monster.” He gave a sinister smile, his crooked smirk growing wider.“So I have something I need you to do, nothing too crazy. Just go to a bar. Drink till you throw up for all I care, but be there. Maybe seduce your old boyfriend. Dan Fremont, seriously, who names their kid that? It sounds like a name for a parody anchorman. Whatever. Just be there, and try to do what you can to get him to leave Annabelle.” He chuckled as he reached to cares her cheeks with the backs of his hands.“If you do this, I'll reward you. You can live forever and retain eternal youth. I can do that, let you live forever.” He reached down, kissing her forehead. Vanessa looked up at him and felt nothing but fear. Fear that If she didn't do this, he'd keep her alive anyway, live and suffering till the end of days, if that would ever arrive.“O-okay.” She reached to take the god's hand. She felt as if she was shaking the hand of the very devil himself. It made her sick to her stomach that she was even doing something like this, but what choice did she have?“Kick him in the balls! Kick him!” Gizzy the gremlin screamed as she raised her fist in the air, watching the television in one of the new rooms Annabelle had created in the apartment, this one done up like a man cave, complete with a bar and a pinball machine.“Gizzy, this is boxing. They don't do that. You're thinking of MMA fighting,” Dan explained as he sipped a beer. Aries was in the room, too, quietly sitting and nodding as he drank his own beer.The war god finally spoke up. “I miss the old fighting the Greeks did. No rules, no holding back. A fight till you were either knocked out or dead. Sometimes both. I remember watching Drákos báles fight the champion. The man lost an eye but won the battle. I mean, you should have seen it! The man's eye was hanging out of his skull!” Aries raised his beer in excitement. The two opponents on TV were beating the hell out of each other in the ring, with such power behind each of them. Dan and the others didn't know who was fighting, or where the fight was taking place. It had just appeared with the TV turned on.Mercifully, a bell rang and the boxers stopped and returned to their corners. While he had a chance, Dan asked, “So, since you are having an affair with Aphrodite. any advice I should have about being married to a goddess of lust?”“You need advice from me on being married to a goddess?” Aries grunted and took a swig of his beer. “Okay, one piece of advice I can give you is very important, ever stick it in the wrong hole. Did that once by accident with Pumpkin in there, and next thing, I knew she clawed my eyes out. I had to ask Hephaestus to replace them. The motherfucker started laughing his ass off. I ended up blind for a week while that fucker built new eyes for me. Though I will admit, they look cool as fuck.” As if Aries knew what Dan was about to ask, he pulled his sunglasses down, revealing two balls of flame that glowed like a pair of red suns, appearing to stare down deep into Dan's soul.“Well, that's something I never expected to deal with,” Dan muttered, taking another drink.Aries nodded and agreed,“Yep, though, hey, shit like being able to get new eyes is one of the few benefits of being a god But, fuck, it can suck at times. You mortals think it's so easy being a god. Going, ‘Oh, how I wish to be a god, how much fun It would be to have all that power doing so much, nothing could stop me.' Trust me, being a god is the most annoying thing out there. Gotta follow all the rules. And when we help out mortals, you get all pissy when one of your fellow humans fucks up our plans. I mean, yeesh. Then you run after the next new god who comes along. Take Jesus, for example. The guy walks on water and makes water into wine, and next thing I know, my temples and everyone else's get toppled by his nutty followers. I swear, if the wine the guy makes wasn't the best I've ever had, I'd kick his ass.”“Wait, so Jesus was real? Sorry, I was an atheist before all this.” Dan responded.Aries nodded and said, “Oh, yeah, he's basically a demigod, and he's still around. The guy's not as impressive as you think. I used to raise armies of the dead to fight my enemies. Aphrodite could make thousands fall under her spell. But a man from the Middle East just makes water into wine, walks on water, and heals the sick a few times, and suddenly he's super-hot. It's insane! I mean, I wasn't Mr. Popular, but come on!”Dan looked over towards Gizzy, who didn't seem to be paying any attention to the conversation. She was just watching the boxing match, throwing the old one-two with her little arms. Dan chuckled in spite of himself at the sight of the small female figure imitating the fighters. Aries continued, “Well, anyway, I'm still able to get some worshippers. Just some clever work needs to be done. But I'm more relaxed than some of the newer gods. Those guys can be assholes.”“How so?” Dan asked. He had his eyes on the fight, but his ears on the war god.“Well, basically, a bunch of them are like teenagers. Take this one guy I know. He's basically a god of the Internet. Super douchebag. Feels like he needs to be in control. Super control issues with wanting to bring on madness. It's like the worst aspects of Loki and Zeus rolled into one.”“Really? Any examples?”“Well, I can't get into too much detail, but the guy had a thing for a goddess, and she rejected him at first, before he went ahead and pulled a Zeus and tricked her into marrying him. Though unlike Zeus, this guy isn't even top shit. Just a side god. So they ended up separated, and the fucker has been bitter ever since. Hell, he was humiliated and laughed at.”“Damn. Well, guess the guy deserves it.”“Oh, yeah, but fuck, can the newer gods be a pain in the ass, especially the ones that don't need prayers. Honestly, you're lucky with Annabelle. She's the type that has a level head on her shoulders. Even Aphrodite wasn't as calm. She's really mellowed out over the years. But trust me, on a good Saturday night, the girl can be wild. I can put money on that.” He chuckled.“Yeah, yeah. Though it's been an interesting time. I mean, if anyone told me a month ago, I'd be married to a goddess today, I'd have called them crazy, or something like that.”Aries lowered his sunglasses. “Yeah, I guess so. Though, hey, it's a crazy world out there, even for us gods.”“Yep,” Dan agreed. “Hey, are you ready for another beer?” He realized his bottle was nearly finished.“Sure, sounds good. I can use a few before going off on my date with Aphrodite.” Dan got up to cross the room to the bar, and realized Gizzy was building something. He could see she had an assortment of scrap metal on the floor in front of her.“Gizzy, what are you doing?” he asked.Gizzy looked up as she tightened a screw.“Dilzooka…” was her response. Dan raised an eyebrow and said, “Okay, I have to ask. What's a dilzooka?” Aries crossed his arms and leaned forward, a scowl on his face. Gizzy rolled her eyes, rummaged briefly through the scrap metal and came up with a suction-cup-backed dildo in one hand, a long metal tube in the other. She put the dildo in one end of the tube and quickly counted down: “1; 2; 3; Fire!”A loud blast came from the dilzooka. Dan jumped for cover. The long rubber object bounced all over the place until it finally stopped. Dan raised his head to try to assess the damage. There didn't seem to be any major holes in the wall or ceiling. Gizzy looked triumphant, as if it had been a successful test of her device. Aries, though, was standing in the middle of the room with the dildo's suction cup attached right in the center of his forehead.Dan fought off the urge to laugh. The war god looked almost like a dick-headed unicorn, or maybe the word should be dildicorn. Aries just groaned as he reached up and ripped the dildo off. Gizzy was now giggling up a storm.“I'm going to see if they're done talking,” Aries muttered, stomping out of the room.Eventually, Aries came back to give Dan the all-clear. He went back to the living room to see the women sitting on the couches and smiling. Kali looked a bit bedraggled, her colorful garb torn in a few places. Dan couldn't help but ask,“Okay, what happened?”The Hindu goddess crossed her arms and looked away, clearly annoyed.Annabelle answered, “Oh, nothing much. She and Bast got into a disagreement. One thing led to another, and… well, Kali owes us a new dining room.”“I do not! It was the Egyptian pussy who was running in there while I was trying to destroy her!” Kali screamed in anger, her face turning darker, as if she was about to lose her temper.“Kali, you were throwing the fireballs. You don't want to be hit with karma, now, do you? Should I tell Shiva exactly what happened?” Annabelle lowered her glasses as she glared at the other goddess. Kali growled in annoyance, then just sighed and shook her head.“Fine, I'll have Shiva transfer the rubies and have them converted into American dollars to have your dining room repaired.”The gods soon began leaving. On their way out, Aphrodite couldn't help but ask Aries,“Sweetie pie, why is there a red circle on your head?”Aries responded with only a quiet grunt and groan. The goddess of love nodded as they began walking out the door. From the hallway, she turned around and smiled at Annabelle and Dan.“It was nice to meet you, Dan,” she said. “From what Annabelle says, you're pretty nice for a mortal. I'm sure she won't start a war and get you killed.” She giggled, and Dan wasn't sure whether or not she was joking.The front door shut, and Annabelle said, “I think Aphrodite likes you, Dan. Maybe I should keep a special eye on you.” She giggled and rested her head on his shoulder.“Heh, no need to worry. Aries can keep her. One goddess is enough for me.” Dan chuckled, but then a hand grabbed his shoulder.“Don't you mean two goddesses, boy? This kitty needs attention also.” He turned to see Bast, in her mostly-human form. She wore clothes that were in tatters, and she looked as though she had a black eye. Dan gulped.

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Dan Discovers That Goddesses can share; him!Based on a post by DustinMidnight, in 9 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.He leaned down kissing the back of her neck. His body pressed against hers as she moaned with such delight.“Hmm naughty boy. Though I want to let you know, I'll be having a few friends over. I hope you don't mind.” She giggled as she turned around. Her ass pressing against the bed as she reached over her finger rolling on his chest. Admiring him while biting her lip.“Who are they?” Dan asked curiously as he raised an eyebrow.“Oh no one special just a few gods I haven't met in a while, Aphrodite, Kali, Hel. Bast will also be there. They heard about our marriage and wanted to meet you. Trust me it'll be a good time.” She giggled as she pulled herself up nibbling his neck. Her legs wrapping around him. Pressing their hips together. Dan groaned as he pushed in closer.That was when there was a knocking on the door. Dan sighed in annoyance as he was about to pull away, though Annabelle refused to let him go. Her legs were like vices. She lifted a finger up and suddenly the door opened and Annabelle called out.“Yes?” she said as she looked over Dans shoulder. Standing in the door way. It was none other than Bast. She walked into the room looking more human. No it was more than that. Instead of having her cat-head it was more human like. Except for the eyes. Her eyes were a glowing Emerald Cat ears on top of her head. While she walked in. Annabelle saw her cat like tail swaying back and forth as she moved her hips.“Bast what are you doing here?” Annabelle said a slight smile as she seemed to hold onto her hubby for dear life.“I can't take it; I'm going through this fucking heat; and I smell you two fucking, I mean seriously This room stinks of Sex. Then that Gremlin is masturbating in the closet moaning out your name Annabelle. I don't know where it got the dildo, but it has one even saying your husband's name. I haven't had a good worship in months. Beside the crazy cat people. And I feel like I'm about to jump on the next man I see, and the only man I've seen is your god damn husband with his big fat dick!” She grabbed her long silk black hair like she was close to ripping it out. Dan; Dan wasn't sure what to say. He felt his mouth drop as he shuddered more. Especially when Annabelle had a wide smirk on her face.“Hmm is that true, you're going through a really bad heat huh?” It was clear that she was having an idea, a sexy idea as she looked back at Dan with a chuckle.“Dan maybe we should help Them. It's not fair that I have you all to myself.” She leaned down giving him a soft kiss. Dan returned it as he caressed his arm. Bast Raised an eyebrow at that though suddenly groaned bending over. A fire growing in her body. This damn heat. Every instinct in her body demanding that she craws over there. And mark that mortal fuck his brains out. Though she tried fighting it.“Maybe we should.” Dan groaned slightly feeling Annabelle grind against her. He wasn't a stupid man and Annabelle was offering.“Heh we should though why should the three of us have all the fun.” She snapped her finger and suddenly landing on the bed was the Gremlin. Completely naked with her dark skin exposed her perky breast bouncing as she was simply going at her cunt with the dildo. She hadn't realized she was there as she pushed the rubber cock deeper into her pussy with a moan.“Gizzy pay attention.” Annabelle said suddenly causing the little monster to realized what was going on she squealed trying to cover herself but simply blushed letting the rubber cock roll away.“Goddess!” Gizzy suddenly stood right up. Saluting her as she was ready for whatever her goddess had commanded of her.“Please relax, enjoy yourself,” Annabelle giggled though admittedly rolled her eyes. While Dan groaned. He wasn't sure what was about to happen the next thing he knew Annabelle had freed him from her iron gripped and he was sitting on the best.His clothes vanished as he watched her strutting over towards the cat goddess. Bast stood there as her dark cheeks turned slightly red.“Annabelle I really don't.” Bast said as she stepped back trying to walk out though the door suddenly clicked locking behind her. Bast looked over for a moment. Annabelle reached over cupping the other woman's breast gently.“Annabelle I should be able to handle, Gahh!” suddenly Bast moaned the feeling of the other womans breast caressing caused her to moan even louder. Dan couldn't help but watch them for a second. Gizzy licking her lips clearly watching her goddess playing with Bast. Dan felt his cock stiffening at the time. His wife kissing another woman. Her fingers moving down caressing her body. He could feel her arousal. The way Bast moaned. Dropping down as she shuddered.Suddenly Dan felt small bites on his neck. It felt like pin pricks as he turned around suddenly seeing Gizzy bitting his neck her small hands wrapping around his arm rubbing it as she moved down.“What are you doing?”“Making you feel good, still sorry for biting you.” Gizzy said as she kissed and sucked his neck a light groan as her small hands began moving down more caressing his chest. He was somewhat distracted as the two goddess moved in closer. Annabelle chuckling.“Hmm now normally I would save something like this for your birthday. But really cause we're helping Bast out I think I can make an exception.” She moaned with that heavy accent. Dan shuddered more as he realized he was living every mans dream. Being with multiple woman at the same time. He only hoped he'll survive such a thing. Though Dan knew with Annabelle's help he might just do that.Moving over Annabelle raised her finger causing Dan to be pulled into the air. His body falling down onto the ground as Bast was placed on the bed. Her clothes dissolving away turning into sand and scurried away. Her breast looked a bit bigger. As she took deep breaths. She seemed to exposed. Her eyes widened more as she was clearly use to being in control and not being so opened around everyone else. Annabelle moved next to her laying by as one hand caressed her breast. Nibbling on her kitty ear as she blew into it.“Hmm do you want Dan to eat you out? Darling I know you like licking down there yourself, but a lover can do so much more.” She bit her ear as Bast moaned more. Gizzy was over watching more. The giddy look on her face getting her more excited. That smile swirled even wider as she was ready for the real fun as Dan realized what was happening.Bast looked over, giving a light moan as she mouthed out the word ‘please'. It was there Dan climbed on the bed. Gizzy giving him a smack on the ass as he bounced a little forward/ Crawling over. Annabelle smirked as she winked at her husband. She winked while reaching down her fingers caressing Bast's pussy she used her first two index fingers spreading them apart. Dan watched this as he grunted his dick was as hard as a rock. While watching it. Her pussy looked particularly puffy at this time.Dan moved in closer as he reached over caressing her thighs. The light moan as the feline purred with anticipation Annabelle reached over sucking on her right breast as she bucked in closer. Dan soon moved in giving Annabelle's fingers a light kiss. Annabelles fingers flicked as she moved them Bast moaned more, it was that throaty moan as she bit on her lips. Dan chuckled leaning in and began licking her labia. It was wet against his tongue as he started penetrated in deeply. Her pussy was tight around his tongue as he began moving it around.Bast Purred as she covered her mouth as Dan closed his eyes licking. He let his tongue take over moving around back and forth. Feeling her pussy out as he moved it through the slick wet hold. Though he grunted suddenly feeling a nibble as his genitals a light biting as he suddenly called out.“Don't bite.” But it only came out as grunts as he mouth was preoccupied so what he said didn't come out particularly right. Annabelle glared at the gremlin who nodded. As she quit her nibbling and sucked on his ball sacks a bit more gently. Dan groaned as he returned to licking the pussy-cat's pussy“Gahh, Annabelle your husbands mouth!” Bast moaned as she bucked her hips more. Dan felt his noise pushed against her hot flesh. Her pussy felt as though it was tightened around his tongue.“Hmm, oh yes. My Precious Danny here is great with his tongue. Though I wonder Bast how are you with your tongue.” Annabelle whispered, as she licked her earlobe. Bast responded.“I think I could be able to handle myself with my tongue.” With a confused look but that was when Annabelle moved around suddenly pushing her pussy deep in Bast's face.“Now be a good kitty and eat my cunt.” Annabelle giggled as she rubbed her cunt against Bast lips. Her eyes widened more not expecting this. Her mouth opened trying to say something though all she got in response was a pussy pressed against her lips as she rolled her eyes. If you can't fight them, join them. As she moaned more feeling Dan roll his tongue a bit more to the right. Fuck she was loving every second of this.Gizzy moved in more as she adjusted herself pushing her head right between Dan's legs as the cock pushed against her nose. A smile rolling on her face as she leaned in pushing Dan's cock head into her mouth as she gave it an experimental kiss, before pushing the fat mushroom head in there with a light pop. As she began sucking on it like a sucker.Dan groaned the Gremlins mouth was small but warm as it began going up his shaft as she sucked him off. Dan licking faster. Annabelle off moaning as she was getting eaten by Bast who's breathing was growing rapid. Her breast bounding up as she reached over her fingers going over Dans head pushing him deeper as she lapped up Annabelle's juices.Bast couldn't help thinking,“Oh sweet me, this feeling my insides they're on fire.” Her hips bucked more as she took long deep breaths her hips moving more as she bucked against Dans face. Dan groaned as he thrust his hips down in Gizzy mouth as he licked more enthusiastic. That was when Annabelle smirked as she licked her lips with a shudder.“Hmm I think it's time to switch things up Dan quit eating our pussy cat.” Dan did as he told though Bast cried in protest. As he slipped away. He grunted as Gizzy was sucking more her head pushing down against him. As her tongue lapped his cock head. Annabelle reached over licking her lips. Her fingers adjusting her glasses at that moment getting a better look.“Now Dan, Pull Gizzy mouth from your cock. I think she got you lubed up enough and give this pussy a real good fuck.” She giggled more, wishing she could think of more cat puns but found she couldn't think of any. Dan nodded as he reached over. Though grunted as Gizmo, really wasn't wanting to let go. Her arms and legs wrapped around him slightly as he tried tugging her off.Gizzy grunted in protest trying to suck harder wanting to taste his spunk.“Mine!” she growled though it came out as noise as her mouth was full of cock. It's greedy nature wanting more as Dan groaned hard his cock pulsing as the Gremlin was really getting him off as he pushed his hips back. HIs eyes closed as he grunted.“Fuck! I'm about to!” That was when he suddenly let his load out unleashing it all in Gizzy's mouth. It seemed to overflow in her mouth as some of his cum managed to escape from her noise as she gagged more. Finally letting go of him.“Hot damn.” Dan muttered, it had been a long time since he let out such a large load.“Oh my, you made such a large load Danny, should I be jealous of a gremlin?” Annabelle teased as she reached over rubbing his cum covered cock as Dan shook his head.“I don't think so but fuck. I think little me might not be able to go for a round two this time.” He muttered watching his dick flop around after shooting off such a large load. Though Annabelle gave a smirk, as she was clearly cocky about the whole situation.“Oh is that so, well I guess you forget, I am a Goddess, and I've got some tricks up my sleeves.” She kissed him gently her hand grabbing his cock with a hard squeeze. It was sensitive, and it hurt. But in a good way, such a good feeling as his dick was tingling. Sparks running through his member as his eyes widened his cock was rock hard and ready for another round.“Heh, if you're erection last longer than four hours, let me know we'll soft that baby up.” Annabelle winked as she nibbled his lips.“Fuck, who needs Viagra.” Dan joked. As he groaned his cock bouncing in excitement. At this point his cock was doing all the talking. Though he looked back to Bast. Her face was flustered, her breathing getting heavy. She felt so horny. She needed cock. She wanted to fuck like there was no tomorrow. Praise the sun. Outside there was a cawing. A loud screech, then tapping against the window Dan looked over seeing a hawk watching them. Bast seemed to notice this also as she grabbed a pillow throwing it at the window.“Fuck off Horus!” The Hawk cried out before flying off. Dan just stood there not sure what to say but shrugged it off. Dan stood on his knees for a second, as he said,“How should we do this me on top or…” but before he could finish that sentence Bast pounced on him like a cougar. Pushing him on his back. His head smacked against the boards at the other end of the bed as he cursed under his breath.“Mine! Less talk more fucking!” Bast growled her lets squeezing her thighs when she slipped his cock in. Fuck. Dan couldn't help but imagine how tight it was as his third leg penitrated her pussy. The way it consumed it. With such a heat. Dan was sure she could melt his cock off from sure will. Her hips pushing down as he felt his meat pushed deeper in her before pulling back out all but the head.The process seemed to repeat itself over and over again as the bed moved back and forth. Annabelle watched, biting her pinkie. Clearly turned on by such a display. Her Husband fucking another woman right in front of her. She felt herself beyond turned on as she reached down, playing with her pussy. She looked over seeing the sad look on Gizzy face as she looked over,“Something wrong Gizmo?”“Wanted to have a turn with Goddess Husband. Wanted to feel what make you feel good my goddess.” She said with a light sadness.“Hmm well don't worry you'll have your turn but how about I do something for you.” She leaned down kissing the Gremlin. They kissed for a short time. Tongues pressing against each other as they swirled sharing saliva. Listening to Dan and Bastet, fuck each others' brains out.Annabelle snapped her finger as suddenly a strap-on forming around her thighs as it was long and hard the purple rubber dong. Gizzy watched it in surprised and smile as she felt herself fall on her back practically next to the other two.Dan groaned as Bast bounced on him. Harder and faster. As he pushed deeper. His hand grabbing her small breast sensitive in his hands as he twisted and pinched her brown nipples. Caused Bast to moan harder her tongue hanging out as she began scratching his chest. Blood slowly leaking as she bounced harder. As she scratched all over him leaving her mark. Though Dan didn't care as he thrusted even more as he moaned more.“Sweet christ! This fucking feels amazing!” Dan moaned as his balls slapped against her ass.“Oh yes fuck me, fuck me harder! Worship me obey me follow me!” Bast screamed her eyes widened as she moved down faster. It had been so long since she felt this so alive. The way Dan help her as he pulled himself up. His hips moving faster, in a blind blur. Her gasps getting louder as she bit her lips.“Oh yes worship me! Worship me!” Bast screamed as her body was beginning to glow. Dan leaned in going with the flow she wanted worship he would do that. It wouldn't hurt anyone as he whisper.“I'll worship you, fuck you as long as Annabelle wants, my cock fucks your sacred pussy.” He moaned more in that husky voice as he pushed faster, with a long moan.“Yes! Sweet me yes like that! I'm gonna cum!” Bast moaned as she felt herself rejuvenated with energy. As she rode faster her claws sinking into Dans back as she held him closer. The unfathomable desire between Dan and the Cat goddess grew larger.Annabelle watched with a smirk as she fucked her Gremlin harder as Gizzy groaned in sweet orgasmic release as she rode the rubber cock. With a shudder. As Dan smiled more side glancing his wife.Though like most things it didn't last long as Bast pussy tightened around him milking his cock for everything it had. A hungry feline wanting its special ‘milk.' It sucked him more as Dan suddenly began unleashing loads into her as they screamed in passion.Even though Bast sounded like she was screaming bloody murder as Dan did so they heaved heavily as they would soon begin moving in a light slow thrust.“Fuck… I needed that.” Bast mustered out with a light purr. Rubbing her head against him for the moment as Dan took heavy deep breaths.“That was, fuck I don't know, it was great.” He groaned as his cock felt sensitive and his balls felt completely empty.“Heh, well I am the purr; fect lover.” Bast teased as she whipped him with her tail. As she kissed his cheek. Never on the mouth, Bast knew this. She felt the heat rolling off her as she felt so relaxed.“Annabelle Thank you.” She muttered more her tail swishing and ears twitching. Bast looked like a brand new kitten.“Anytime, if you need help I'm sure we can give you a hand but ask first.” She winked as she pounded into the Gremlin.“Heh well This will be a night I won't forget.” Dan muttered resting his head back. His cock still inside of Bast as she hadn't pulled away.“Oh Danny- Baby, the night has only just began.” Annabelle giggled as She winked. Dan could feel the tingling around his cock as his groaned hard. His cock pulsing once more ready for another round.Dan groaned hard as he realized that he was in for a long— Long night.Dan didn't know the half of it. He had fucked for what seemed like hours. His body covered in bruises. Scratch marks. Bites, (Thanks to the Gremlin who had a habit of sinking her teeth in his shoulder.) But by the end of it. He laid there in the middle. Annabelle under the covers curled up on his right arms wrapped around him. Bast on the other side. She hadn't returned to her Feline form as she laid on her side away from him. As for Gizzy. She was laying on his chest moaning hard as her ass was right at his face. Her legs rubbing his arm slightly. Rather uncomfortable. As she rested her head on his thigh.If Dan had the strength he might've pushed her off. But he could barely move. As he laid there ready to close his eyes as he took a glance at Annabelle and muttered,“I think I'm falling in love with her.”“I love you two,” Annabelle mumbled though it was clear she was still asleep. As she barely reacted. Dan would eventually fall asleep, though when he did a name popped into his head. Joe Liesmith.The next morning, Dan groaned. It was clear he needed an aspirin. His whole body ached. He groaned and noticed he was alone in his bed.“Last night was; whoa” he muttered as he pulled the covers off. His bruises were nearly healed up. The dark marks on him were fading to a dull yellow. His scratches seemed to be almost gone. However, he felt like he could barely move, and he wouldn't be any good at his job like this. He reached over to his phone and quickly made a call to his job's attendance line.After he hung up from that brief call, he called Ash.“Yo, Dan, what's up?” Ash said when he answered the phone. Dan could tell from the background noise that his friend was working a little early.“Wanted to let you know I called in. Something came up, so I'm not going to make it in today.” Dan kept his voice calm as he sat on the edge of the bed.“Got some stomach issues or something?” Ash asked with a small chuckle, guessing Dan must have a hangover. “No, just slipped and fell. Back's hurting like hell, and I don't need to fuck something up,” Dan said with a chuckle, then groaned.“Hey, no problem. Maybe get your wife to rub some cream in to get you feeling better. How is she doing, anyway?” Ash asked with a chuckle.Dan snorted.“She's doing well. Maybe worn out from last night, though She probably headed off to work already. But she's do

Dan's place becomes an abode of the Sex Gods. His mother asks questions.Based on a post by DustinMidnight, in 9 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dan eventually clocked out and drove home. He didn't feel tired at all. Hell, he felt as though he could run a marathon. He had a feeling it had something to do with Annabelle.He carefully parked his car in the parking garage, then he headed off towards his apartment building. He shuffled along and watched some of the neighborhood kids running around, even with it being so cold. They ran around like madmen, jackets covering them as they had fun. Dan smiled as he remembered himself as a young boy, not a care in the world, catching fireflies.He shook his head as he enjoyed this moment of near-silence. Working around loud machines made him appreciate silence just a bit more, even with kids laughing in the background.He turned and walked inside the building, going up the stairs and into his apartment He walked in and immediately noticed that it seemed bigger. He happened to look up towards the ceiling first, realizing that it was so high he could barely see it.“What the…? Annabelle!” he called out, his voice echoing off into the distance. There was no answer. He let out a long sigh as he began walking in. He'd question her about the situation laterAside from the ceiling height, the apartment itself seemed bigger. It felt as though he was standing in a mansion that contained most of his old stuff. A few things had been replaced, though, like his lumpy old couch that was nowhere to be seen; a new leather sofa sat in its place. The carpet was gone, apparently replaced with oak wood flooring.“This is just weird,” he muttered. He looked over towards the kitchen and saw it was much bigger, with brand-new appliances. He shook his head and decided to just head to bed. For all Dan knew, this was all still just a dream. He turned around, and that was when he saw it.It was that cat. The same cat that seemed to own the sidewalk this morning. That cat was looking at him, and he shook his head.“No, it can't be the same cat. That one was black. You're grayer.” It reminded him of Tom from Tom and Jerry.“How did you get in here?” he asked, as he started leaning down to pick it up. It actually answered him, responding, “I walked through the door, boy, or are you just that stupid?” in the voice of a female with an exotic accent. “Holy shit, a talking cat!” He stopped himself just before he kicked the cat away from the shock of it. The cat just laughed,“Why, of course I can talk. How else are we having a conversation Oh, wait, no, we're reading each other's minds, right? Heh, you poor humans.” The cat seemed to smirk as Dan eyed her. He was far annoyed by this now. The cat might be a cat, but it was acting like an ass.“OK, smart ass, what are you and where did you come from?”“Nowhere special! I'm just your friendly, lovably pur; fect kittycat.” The cat let out a little meow, swishing her tail slightly as she rolled on her back to reveal her furry belly. Dan wasn't sure if it was trying to tease him or something else, but it clearly failed.“OK, cat, well, have you seen Annabelle?” With her R's rolling into purrs, the cat replied, “Hmm, she's somewhere around here. She could be going off to the strip club. The girl needs to hear her prayers. Though why don't you relax?” It kept smirking.“Oh, Dan, it's good to see you,” came Annabelle's voice. Suddenly, walking out of a wall as if it were nothing, Annabelle appeared with a smile. She was wearing one of Dan's T-shirts and a pair of pants that fit very snugly around her hips.“It's good to see you… OK, what did you do to my apartment, and who's the talking cat?” He pointed toward the feline, and Annabelle smirked.“Oh, that's Bast, and as for the apartment, I figured we'd need a little extra room. I made the space bigger overall and added an extra room or two for us. Had to call in a favor from the god of houses, but he really came through.” She giggled. Dan was a bit dumbfounded. There was a god of houses?He turned over and looked at the cat. He knew he'd heard the name Bast before, but he just couldn't remember where“You're Bast, Bast the cat?” he asked. The cat had rolled back over and looked annoyed at being interrupted while licking a paw.“I am Bastet the cat goddess,” she said icily. It was then she began morphing, a soft shimmering light wrapping around her as she began growing bigger. Dan was imagining that she was going to turn into a lion, yet suddenly up on all fours was a woman — no, she was more than that. She had the body of a woman with brownish skin, but the head of a cat, including a muzzle and ears. She brought herself up to stand on her two feet, staring at him with the same green eyes and that confident smile.“But my friends do call me Bast. Now, where's the milk?”Chapter 3Bast got her milk after Dan raced to the kitchen to get some. When he returned, the cat-headed goddess smirked again.“Finally. It took you long enough.” She took the glass Dan offered and began by taking a long hearty drink of the white liquid, swallowing until it was halfway gone. She pulled back, licking her maw with her cat's tongue and put the glass on a nearby table.“Well, since that's taken care of, I have a question for you, Bast,” Dan said, taking a deep breath. Bast nodded at him, signaling him to go on, though Dan thought she wasn't giving him her full attention.“What are you doing at my apartment?” Not that it seemed like “my apartment” at this point. The interior was nearly unrecognizable, to the point that it seemed like a maze.“I wanted to check up on Annabelle. I heard she had gotten married, but she didn't invite me to the wedding. So I wanted to see who she was hitched to. Then I find out it's a mortal.” She looked over to Annabelle, who blushed slightly, maybe even having a twinge of guilt.“I'm sorry, Bastet. It just happened. I'm so sorry, and, Bast, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Annabelle suddenly ran towards the cat goddess, giving her a great big hug. Bast looked shocked, her tail straightening, her ears popping forward, and a wild expression on her face.“It's fine, but please stop! You're overloading me with lust magic!” She gasped hard, her tongue sticking out as she moaned and groaned. Annabelle pulled back suddenly from that as she cupped her hands to her face.“Oh, dear, again, so sorry, Bast, just got a little excited, and you know how lust magic is. It's unpredictable.” She laughed at that, while Dan looked confused. He shook his head. He didn't bother asking. His head was already hurting slightly from the whole situation.“It's fine, Annabelle, relax,” said Bast. “I just wanted to make sure you're all right. You know how goddesses can end up when they marry a mortal.” She patted her friend's head. It was clear that Bast's mood had changed from “confident queen” to “relaxed friend.”“It's fine. It's not like what's happened with those other gods. I agreed of my own free will.” She smiled. Dan raised an eyebrow again. This just raised more questions.“Well, good, I can get home. I have to get back to my host family. Those children, I swear, if I'm not around, would somehow set a lake on fire.” With that, Bast transformed back into her full cat form before walking over towards Dan.“Listen here, boy, just because you managed to seduce and get married to my friend, it means nothing. If you hurt her, I will play with you like a ball of string. If you make her cry, I will turn you into that ball.” With that, the front door opened, and the cat goddess strutted out, her tail swishing as she rubbed onto the door for a second. Then she vanished without a trace.“Well, that was something,” Dan grunted. A cat goddess had just threatened him. That would be in the top ten of weirdness for his life. He'd have to give it another twenty minutes to see what happens, though.“Yeah, Bast can be a little… much, but she means well. She has been a great friend, but sadly she's not one of the lucky gods.”“Lucky gods? What does that mean.”“Gods need worship, It's how we sustain our powers. You mortals might not realize we need you as much as you need us. Bast was the goddess of cats and guardian of the children, though when they stopped worshipping her, she had to improvise in a way that people give her attention to remember her. It's easier for a death god or even a lust goddess to gain worshippers or followers. But for others like her, it can be troublesome.” Annabelle looked sad for a minute, and Dan felt a small pang in his heart.“I guess it's difficult to be a god.”“It can be, but as I said, I'm one of the more lucky ones. My duality lets me be worshipped without them realizing it. Just performing an action, and being admired by those who watch me, can give me strength.” She smiled as she leaned against the wall.“Well, that's something. Though how does Bast get her worshippers?”“From what she's told me, and I quote, ‘By the gods, I'm surviving ‘cause of them damn furries jacking off to pictures of big-boobed anthro cats! I've fallen so far! In….

Fellatio Rites for the Ghost of John Wesley By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna took a deep breath as she approached Oakwood Road Methodist Church. "Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Reverend Morris asked. She patted his shoulder. "I'll be fine Simon. You don't need to worry. It's the ghost of John Wesley, not Jack the Ripper. This is exciting! I hope he'll appear!" "Right, well, I'll be sat in the car then. I hope you won't be too long. Remember, just turn and run the moment you feel in any way uncomfortable." "Reverend Morris, I think you're scared!""No I'm not! I can't help being concerned for the safety of the woman I love can I? Aren't you a tiny bit nervous?" "I'm as cool as spring water," Jenna replied. "I was reading all about John Wesley last night. He was a true gentleman. I'm sure this won't take long." Reverend Morris nodded as he watched his wife enter the church. "Well if anyone can fix this, Jenna can. I don't know what she said to the Archbishop of Canterbury last week, but he changed his mind about the wall plaque faster than the Government does U-turns. I wonder what she said to him? Whatever it was, Justin Welby was impressed!" He reclined in his car seat. "I was so lucky to meet Jenna. Of course, it was God who delivered her to me. That fateful Sunday morning in the vestry, oh." Father Aiden was walking along the street. Many things were on his mind. He had some important decisions to make about his future in the priesthood. Briefly glancing up from his smartphone, his heart jumped as he spotted Jenna entering the Methodist church across the road. "Holy Mother, " he muttered. A rush of excitement swept over him as he recalled the intimate encounter he'd enjoyed a few weeks ago. It was that which had spurred him to think about his future. He quickly crossed the road. "Hello Father!" The priest almost dropped his phone. Someone was shouting at him from a parked car. "Oh, Reverend Morris. Hello there." Damn, no chance of a repeat encounter, he thought. "I've just seen your wife going into the Methodist church." "Yes, I hope she won't be long. I'm just waiting for her." "Are you alright? You look a bit anxious, if you don't mind me saying." "It's a long story, Father. I think you'd better sit down in the passenger seat and I'll tell you. You've not heard about what's been going on in Oakwood Road church have you?" The priest looked confused. "Nope. Tell me more!" He opened the car door and sat down. I could do to unburden myself too." "Okay, well, this might sound a bit weird." "I can handle anything weird," Father Aiden replied. "It's about ghosts. As a Catholic, what are your thoughts on them and have you ever seen one?" Father Aiden thought about his answer very carefully. "Hmm. In theory, billions of ghosts potentially exist because billions of human beings have "lost" their bodies through death. Strictly speaking, these disembodied souls are not ghosts because they have never become discernible to any living people. Only those few souls whose presence is seen or felt by others are truly ghosts. And their existence is real." "So you've seen one?" "Yes. Two actually. Once in Ireland when I was a child and another when I was based in Liverpool. I was called upon to rid a family's home of a troubled spirit." Reverend Morris looked relieved. "That's good to know." "The Old Testament also has a few ghost stories. The most famous one is in 1 Samuel 28:8 thru 20. Here the inspired writer tells how King Saul met with the ghost of the prophet Samuel." Father Aiden replied. "Have you seen a ghost?" "Yes. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of John Wesley! He's haunting the Methodist church. That's why I'm here. Jenna's gone in there to try and help him return to, the other side." "Oh I see, then she must, wait, what?" Father Aiden did a double take. "Thanks for coming' along Mrs. Morris," Reverend Ewing said, shaking Jenna's hand. "I know you probably think this whole thing is crazy." "Not at all! And call me Jenna. I'm a true believer. If my husband says that you and he saw John Wesley, then I know it's true. But why does John want to see me of all people?" "Your hubby mentioned that your grandma is a Methodist?" "Uh yeah. Bit of a tenuous link. Like Sir Henry Barrington-Smythe's horse." "Huh?" "Oh, never mind. Figure of speech." "You Brits and your little quirks!" Reverend Ewing laughed. "I'm still getting used to 'em!" "You said John usually appears in the vestry?" "Uh-huh. Can be anywhere in the church, but he seems to like the vestry best." "Right, well go and wait in there and say a few prayers, and see if he appears. I'm not sure I can do anything, but I'll try my best." Jenna entered the vestry. Everything looked perfectly normal in there. She closed the door and looked around. "It always comes back to the vestry," she smiled to herself as she recalled when she first got to know Reverend Morris. Suddenly, the row of gowns on the rail began to swing on their hangers. The temperature dropped, and Jenna rubbed her arms. "Are you there, John?" She called out. "Yes." She spun round. There was no sign of the spirit. "Hey, come on, show yourself at least. It's no fun talking to the invisible man." "My sincere apologies," John replied, and slowly faded into view. For the first time, Jenna was taken aback. "My God, you really are John Wesley, " He nodded and bowed. "Bless ye, for am so honored you hath come here. If I may be so bold to say, you be a lady of great beauty my dear." "Very kind of you to say, Mr. Wesley." Jenna said. "Why are you back in the land of the living? Aren't you happy in Heaven?" "Ah yes," he began. "Happier than mortals can ever imagine. But you see, I feel compelled to return to this realm every All Hallow's Eve. I like to re-visit the places where I worshipped back when I was alive. And it was in this very place where this church now stands that I preached to crowds back in the autumn of 1778." "You've got a lot of places to visit in just one night," Jenna said. "I read all about you. You traveled all over England spreading the Word of the Lord. Plus you went to America, the colonies, when you were younger." "Indeed I did, yes. To my regret, I lingered a little too long here, for I found myself unable to return to the afterlife. The sun had started to rise, heralding All Saint's Day. Thus, I am trapped here in this church until next All Hallow's Eve. Only a tremendous release of positive energy could allow me to return before then." "Oh dear. May I ask why out of all the people in the world, you wanted to see me? What can I do? My gran is a Methodist. Is that the reason?" "No Miss Jenna. It was your aura that attracted me. It's very strong. I believe God himself must've embodied you with some sort of innate goodness that allows you to help people." "You're making me sound like some kind of saint! I assure you I'm just a regular human being. I'm not particularly gifted in anything, although I do try to be a good person, " John had a rather dreamy expression on his face. "You remind me so much of Grace Murray, a lady I loved and lost, only you be far prettier than her." It was then that Jenna had an idea. A huge grin spread across her face. She'd read all about John Wesley's life and how unlucky he'd been in love. "A tremendous release of positive energy, you say? I think I know something which may cause that!" John put his hands together. "You do? Pray, do tell, my dear." "You need to experience an orgasm. What could be more positive than that?" He blinked. "I beg your pardon?" "Oh you know, " She tried to think of a period-appropriate phrase so he'd understand. "The end act of carnal relations?" He blushed. "Oh. Miss Jenna I be a man of God. I don't see how, " Jenna sank to her knees. "Only one way to find out, John!" She paused. So he's a ghost. I've never pleasured a ghost before. Isn't he composed of just gas? He's quite cute, for someone who died in 1791! I wonder if, She reached out to touch him, and expected her hand to pass right through his body, but it didn't. He jolted at her touch. "Don't worry John. I've done this before, many times in fact. It's a great honor to be able to do it to you. I'm sure this will help you." The moment of first contact had arrived. Jenna let one hand gently glide ever so slightly over John's thigh, encased in tight black breeches. Reaching out with the other hand, she ran it over his crotch, feeling an impressive bulge. "Oh my! I feel strangely warmed yet again!" John sighed. Jenna fumbled with the buttons on his breeches, being more used to zippers. Something large and splendid lurked within. Either that or he had a Bible stuffed down there. "My God!" she gasped, as the Methodist's member was revealed. The short, slightly-built John Wesley was hung like a horse! "How on earth were you so unlucky in love?" Jenna exclaimed. "Mostly the ladies deserted me long before I even reached the bedchamber," he mumbled. "Well I'm not deserting you." She pledged.Outside the vestry, Reverend Ewing paced back and forth, wondering what the strange groaning noises were all about. "The hell is going' on in there?" She said out loud. "Ah!" John sighed, his eyes closed in ecstasy. Thoroughly satisfied, he cried out in joy. "Thank you! Thank you so much!""Ah! I'm free once more! You've freed me Jenna! I can't thank you enough! I can return and be at peace!" He began to rise up into the air. "I hope we shall meet again sometime! Farewell and God bless!" Jenna stood up and wiped her lips. "Godspeed, John! Oh! Just one more thing, next time you visit, can you bring your brother Charles along?" Reverend Ewing was about to knock on the vestry door, when it suddenly opened. "Oh! Is everything alright?" "Everything's fine. You can reopen your church. John's spirit is at peace once more." "For sure? He's really gone? But how?" "I just said a prayer for him. Told him how much his teaching continues to inspire people to this day. That seemed to satisfy him and he just faded away." "Well thank you so much, Jenna," the reverend said, shaking her hand. "I'm so glad it's all over. It was really stressing me out! and I'm so happy that John is at peace in the Lord's kingdom again. Oh, what's that on your clothing?" Jenna looked down and was mortified at the huge globs of cum. "Oh dear. It's, candle wax. I didn't realize it had spilled. I must get going now, Reverend Ewing. Simon is waiting in the car and he'll be getting worried." "Of course. Thank you again, and give my regards to Simon!" When she'd gone, Reverend Ewing looked round the vestry. "Hmm, strange. There are no candles in here." The lecherous church warden meets his match. After peace was restored to Oakwood Road Methodist Church, and the spirit of John Wesley successfully liberated, Jenna and Reverend Morris turned their attentions to this weekend's Remembrance Sunday service. This was always a major event, and the people would be crammed into St. Michael's like sardines. "I've finally completed this special sermon," Reverend Morris said, handing Jenna his iPad. "Have a read and tell me what you think. I included your suggestions about the importance of teaching the younger generation about those who died in wars. Also the bit about Winston Churchill being a flawed figure. Good suggestion, that. As human beings we are all flawed in some way." "It looks fantastic. Let me grab a coffee and settle down to enjoy this!" "I hope it won't come across as too boring. You know I always get paranoid about my sermons. So many churchgoers dread a long sermon!" "Your sermons are always fun and relevant, Simon, You're too hard on yourself." The mild-mannered vicar smiled. "Aww, thanks! Oh and I hope Norman Winstanley behaves himself this weekend. I had to have a quiet word with him during the Wednesday morning service." "The new churchwarden? What's he done wrong?" "Well, as you know, he took over from dear old Albert who died last month. He'd previously been at St. John's, but sadly, that church has closed for good and is being demolished. Such a shame. It was a great church back in the day." "Very sad when a church dies. What are they building in its place?" Jenna asked. "An Aldi supermarket. Anyways, about Norman. He's sixty-five and a terrible lecher, to put it plainly. Some say he's Sid James and Benny Hill cranked up to eleven. He didn't get nicknamed Carry On Norm for nothing." Jenna was immediately intrigued. How come I've never noticed this guy before? She thought. "Ooh. So he likes to ogle young women does he?" "Yes, but not just young! I've seen him staring at the legs of older women too. Last Sunday, I caught him perving at Mrs. Wilcox when she was doing the flower arranging. And she's about eighty! Though I admit, she does have nice legs, for someone er, so mature." "Naughty boy. At least he's not ageist." Jenna said. "He needs to get on OnlyFans." Reverend Morris couldn't help but laugh. "You always try to see the best in everyone! Well just looking is one thing, but Norman has built up a bit of a reputation for being a qualified pincher of bottoms. I won't tolerate that sort of behavior. It's completely unacceptable. I'm surprised he's avoided getting into more trouble, to be honest." "Is he married?" "No, widowed. Took early retirement too. Has far too much time on his hands. And we all know that the Devil makes work for idle hands, " "So true," Jenna nodded. "He makes bottoms for idle hands to pinch. "I don't think I've seen Norman. What does he look like?" "Well he wears glasses and he's the spitting image of Frank Carson." Jenna blinked. "Who?" "Heh, I keep forgetting the age gap between us. Frank was a Northern Irish comedian. He's dead now. My dad was and still is a massive fan of him. He used to go and see him on stage at Blackpool in the 1990s." Reverend Morris looked up a picture of the comedian on his phone and showed it to her. "Ok. I'll keep an eye out for Norman this Sunday!" "If he tries anything with you, tell me at once!" "Oh don't worry. He wouldn't dare," Jenna replied, smirking to herself, an idea already forming in her mind. Naughty Norman. I can't have a churchwarden with wandering hands threatening Simon's church. I'd better get my hands on him before he causes any more trouble! As expected, the Sunday service was very well-attended. Jenna had arrived early, as she wanted to sit in a specific place right in the front pew. She chose to sit on the left side, in front of the organ. She'd chosen this spot because it was semi-hidden, due to a convenient pillar. More importantly, Norman the churchwarden would soon be standing here, just a few feet away, ready to direct people when it was time to take communion. For Remembrance Sunday, Jenna had chosen a smart, but conservative black dress and a silk scarf featuring a poppy pattern. She was wearing two paper poppy badges, and one of them was in a very intimate place. "I hope this isn't disrespectful to the war dead," she thought to herself as she crossed her legs. "But it's necessary. This is for the good of the church's reputation. Very helpful that these self-adhesive poppy badges exist now. I just hope it doesn't drop off, " Before long, Norman Winstanley appeared and Jenna recognized him at once. Her husband's Frank Carson description had been spot on. The guy looked just like him. A full head of white hair, glasses and bushy eyebrows. A stocky build, with a beer gut. Norman looked very smart. He was wearing a dark grey suit with white shirt and maroon tie. He had big hairy hands. Jenna wondered if other parts of his body were hairy. "Ah, that's him. Mr. Wandering Hands Winstanley," she said to herself. She should've been repulsed by this randy old boomer, like most women her age would be, but as usual, she found herself lusting after him and getting wet. "I wonder if he wears y-fronts like Gordon? He looks the type." Of all the different types of underwear she'd seen men of this church wearing, y-fronts and boxer shorts were her favorite. Norman stood in his usual place, ready to direct the lost sheep, as he termed the congregation, to the pews, and then out again, when called for communion. St. Michael's had an efficient system whereby the congregation, one pew at a time, went up for communion, walked in a circle round the church and back to their seat. This system had been introduced during the pandemic, but had proved so successful, it had been kept on. Suddenly, the strains of the organ interrupted the quietness of the church, as Gordon began playing the opening hymn, O God Our Help in Ages Past. Everyone dutifully stood up, and it was then that Jenna caught Norman's eye. She noticed him staring and winked at him. He winked back at her. Immediately, she knew she had his full, undivided attention. Who's that tasty little filly? Norman thought. I haven't seen her before. Mind you, I've only been helping out here a week. Not many young lasses in this church. She's a pretty one. Mmm, I'd like to goose her! Look at him, undressing me with his eyes, Jenna smirked. Oh he's horny all right. I think he needs a lot more than a butt cheek to pinch. I bet his balls are as blue as a Smurf's arse. The hymn finished, and everyone sat down, as Reverend Morris began the usual start of the morning Eucharist. "A very blessed welcome to all who have joined us today, for this, our special Remembrance Sunday service. We are gathered here today to reflect on those who gave their lives in the service of this country. At the same time, we reflect on those who are currently enduring the horrors of war. The people of Ukraine, Syria and Afghanistan. Let us pray, " Jenna bowed her head. At the same time, she crossed her legs and slid her dress up, exposing some creamy white thigh. Norman's eyes almost popped out of his head. She was sure she heard him utter a noise, rather like the whinny of a horse. At the same time, Gordon peered over the top of the organ, waiting for his cue to start playing the Gloria in Excelsis. His elevated position afforded him a perfect view of Jenna, when he spotted her sitting right at the front. He assumed she'd chosen to sit there for his benefit. "Venus herself," he muttered, gazing at her flawless legs and remembering the last time they'd been wrapped round his body at the vicarage social. He felt his cock starting to throb. "God she makes me feel glad that I was born a man!" A cough brought him to his senses. Josh the curate was desperately trying to attract his attention as discreetly as possible. "Oh, sorry!" Gordon whispered, fumbling with his music sheets. He started playing the Gloria. Jenna was getting excited just thinking about flashing her white panties. Her nipples were already erect and hard and she could feel that familiar warm, moist sensation between her legs. Slowly, she slid her dress up higher and uncrossed her legs, doing so in such a way that it was impossible to avoid a panty flash. She looked at Norman and raised an eyebrow. He let out an audible gasp and his face flushed a shade of red that looked as if his blood pressure had reached stroke-inducing levels. Fumbling in his pocket, he grabbed a handkerchief and wiped his face. Jenna noticed how his forehead and upper lip were glistening with sweat. No-Nut November might be a thing, but not in my world, Jenna thought. At this rate, poor Norman will have collapsed before I even get to unzip him. He was looking at her again and she noticed his bulge in his trousers that he tried covering with crossed hands. Communion was rapidly approaching, and in the middle of the offertory hymn, Norman suddenly rushed off to the gents. When he returned a few minutes later, Jenna noticed his flies were unzipped. She wondered whether he'd done this deliberately or forgotten to zip up after having a pee or a wank. "So you want to play do you?" Jenna whispered and winked at him. Norman was holding an order of service booklet, and deliberately dropped it. As he squatted down to pick it up, the gap in his unzipped trousers widened, allowing Jenna a glimpse of his underwear. She was thrilled to have a peek at his pale blue y-fronts and the bulge contained within. "Very nice!" She mouthed to him and blew a discreet kiss. It was time to take communion, and being sat at the front, Jenna had to go first. Calmly, she rose from the pew and walked past the organ. As she did, the poppy pinned to her dress fell out. "Oh dear, she said, and bent down to pick it up. As she did, she ensured her dress rose up, revealing a flash of her panties. However it was Gordon who got the full eyeful. He leant over for a better look, and clumsily knocked a load of music books off the shelf at the side of the organ. "Damn and blast it," he muttered, scrambling to pick them up. Jenna took communion and walked round the church and down the side aisle. As she approached her pew, Norman "helpfully" held out his hand to direct her, and she took the opportunity to squeeze past him. As she did, she felt a hand cup her right buttock and give a little pinch. "You're a dirty old man, Mr. Winstanley," she said. "Luckily for you, I happen to be a dirty young woman." Quick as a whip, she slid her hand to his crotch and groped his bulge through his unzipped trousers. "Ah, oh!" Norman jolted in surprise. Jenna sat down and smiled at him. "I want to see more. Do you?" His nostrils flared, and he quickly backed off, squirming with arousal and bewilderment. Jenna wondered if she'd scared him off, but as the organ music resumed and communion ended, she saw him grab the order of service booklet again and hold it sideways against his crotch. Wondering where this would lead, she was ready to play. It was much more fun than her doing all the flashing. She raised her leg and slid a finger across her panties, pulling the material to the side, giving him a peek at her pubic hair. Norman felt like he was going to cum in his underpants, if this continued. His face was red and his breathing was shallow. He wondered just how much longer he could hold on, but hold on he did. This cheeky little filly was unlike any other woman he'd ever encountered. A wiser, less lecherous man would've backed off long ago, in this age of Me Too, mindful that he could be being led into a trap. But Norman was a shameless, seasoned groper and letch, and he wasn't going to back down now. Using the booklet to shield his crotch from other members of the congregation, a swift movement of his left hand freed his cock, and the top of it poked out from his blue underpants. Not looking down at himself, not acknowledging that his erect dick was visible, the churchwarden acted as if everything was normal. Jenna couldn't stop staring at his cock. It was more ram rod than sham rod. She licked her lips and made a gesture to him with a clenched fist moving up and down. What a delicious-looking cock he has! She was practically drooling like a dog in heat, in the same way he was drooling at the sight of her pubic bush. And speaking of which, she hiked up her dress and revealed the front of her panties. Attached to them was another paper poppy. Norman's jaw dropped. At the same time, Gordon craned his neck to peer over the top of the organ again and got a grandstand view of Jenna's poppy. "Holy shit!" He spluttered. He quickly sat down on the stool, but not before knocking his books over a second time. Further along the front pew, sat four old ladies all in their nineties, notorious gossips of the church. "I say Margaret, I think the organist is drunk. He's not quite himself. He was dreadfully out of time when he played the Gloria!" "Well really. It's disgraceful. On Remembrance Sunday of all days. Oh my good gracious, Mavis! Look at that! The churchwarden's flies are undone!" Immediately, the four of them leant forward in unison to get a better look. "Heaven's above, you can see his, concern! How shocking! Somebody should tell him!" "Maud, it's times like this that I really envy the youth. They have those fancy telephones that take instant photos." "The last time I saw a man in such a state was in 1943, and I'd just turned eighteen. Those American G I blokes, such good times!" Jenna couldn't wait any longer. The service wouldn't end for another ten minutes. Removing the poppy from her panties, she adjusted her dress and rose from the pew. "Join me in the gents," she whispered, and pressed the poppy into Norman's hand. "Lest we forget!" Norman just nodded, stunned. He glanced down at the poppy. My God, what a precious object. He would treasure it forever. Carefully placing it in his shirt pocket, he zipped up his trousers and discreetly made his way to the toilets at the front of the church. The gents toilets were empty, and Jenna made her way past the row of urinals and into the end cubicle. Moments later, she heard the door open and Norman entered. He nervously glanced round. "Pist, in here!" Jenna said, ushering him inside. She locked the cubicle door and closed the toilet lid. "Who are you?" Norman spluttered. "You're a cunning little vixen! I want to take handfuls of you, you're amazing! You've got me well and truly foxed!" "My name is Jenna," she replied. "And you're Norman, yes? Our new churchwarden?" He nodded. "If you don't mind," she said looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, "I'd love to suck that hard cock of yours." Norman looked like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once. "Oh Jenna, I'd love for you to suck me," he sighed. "I'd love to cum in your mouth. I'd love to watch you swallow all of my thick cum!" Jenna sat down on the toilet and unzipped his trousers, then unbuckled his belt. Wanting full, unobstructed access to the churchwarden's member, she pulled his trousers and y-fronts down to his ankles. Norman said nothing, he simply stood there, watching her work her magic. He never once wondered why such a young and attractive woman would want to suck his cock so willingly. It had been years, decades even, since a woman had wanted to pleasure him! He was actually getting a blowjob from a stunning redhead, for free!" "What a lovely cock you've got, Norman. I could see how big it was when you gave me that cheeky little glimpse of it in the church service earlier!" She wasn't lying. He did indeed have a nice plump shaft, with big balls, and wiry white pubes. "Some men are like fine wine, they get better with age!" Without hesitation, she impaled her mouth on his shaft. Taking him deep while stroking him, licking him, and sucking him. Norman put his hand on the back of Jenna's head. Jenna cupped his balls, feeling them throb and pulsate, she knew precisely when he was about to cum. At the same time, she ran her other hand up under his shirt, feeling his hairy paunch. "That tickles!" Norman murmured, sighing and groaning. Back in the church, the service had nearly ended, much to Gordon's relief. He really needed a pee. Thanks to Jenna, he needed a wank too, but there wasn't time. Whilst the vicar was reading out a lot of notices, he had just enough time to pop to the gents, relieve himself and head back to the organ to play the recessional hymn. "Mmm," Jenna murmured, her mouth full of cock. Suddenly, Norman heard someone else enter the toilets. "Jenna, someone's come in!" He whispered. "Mmm," was all she could reply, and continued sucking him. Gordon hurried to a urinal and unzipped his trousers. As he began to pee, a loud groan came from the end cubicle. He ignored it and continued relieving himself. The mystery bloke in the cubicle made several loud grunts. Gordon glanced round. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "That poor sod's got a bad case of constipation." He finished, zipped up, washed his hands and hurried out of the toilets, wondering who the unfortunate man was. "Oh, Oh fuck!" Norman groaned, as his climax neared. "Jenna! I'm going to give you a lovely, big creamy surprise!" "Give it to me, Norman!" She felt his cock quiver and his balls tightened in her hand and she got her first taste of his cum. Jet after jet of his thick seed squirted from his cock into Jenna's eager mouth. He took out his cock to allow her to swallow his load and, as she was doing so, he stroked it and managed to squirt a few more sticky blasts all over her face. "Ah," Norman panted. "That was wonderful Jenna, I enjoyed that more than anything. I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me! Did you like all my cum in that sweet mouth of yours?" "Oh I loved that! Your cum tastes so good, Norman!" Jenna lowered her head and planted a kiss on his cock and then on his sweaty, hairy balls. Doing a dreadful attempt at a Northern Irish accent, she added, "It's the way you tell 'em!" "Eh?" Norman said. "My poor attempt at a Frank Carson impression," she replied. "My husband said you resemble him." "You, you're married?" "Yes," Jenna said, standing up. "I'm the vicar's wife." A look of horror appeared on Norman's face. "Oh my God, " "Don't look so worried, Norman." She put her finger to his lips. "Our little secret, yes? Of course, you need to behave yourself from now on. A little birdy told me that you are quite liberal with those wandering hands of yours. No more bum pinching and goosing of any other ladies whilst you're in St. Michael's, is that understood?" He nodded, panic in his eyes. "Say it out loud, in God's name. Because God knows everything." "In the name of God, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself," Norman said. "That's my Norm," she replied, planting a kiss on his lips. "We'd better get out of here. Other chaps will be coming in. You go first." "R-right. Okay." Norman zipped up his trousers, fastened his belt, composed himself and hurried out of the cubicle. He opened the door and glanced round. "There's no-one here. Quick, you dash into the ladies." Jenna ran past him. As she did, she pinched his arse. "Until next time then," she giggled. Norman breathed a sigh of relief and opened the main door that led back into the church. The service had ended and people were starting to file out of the pews. Norman wiped his forehead. His mind was spinning. Not looking where he was going, he almost walked into Gordon, who'd seen him leaving the toilets. "Sorry," he muttered. "No worries," Gordon replied. "Listen, there's a first aid kit and other medicine in the vestry. I can get you some Dulcolax tablets." Norman looked confused. "What?" "No need to be embarrassed. All us older blokes get constipated from time to time. I couldn't help but overhear you in the gents earlier, and you seemed to be in bloody agony with your bowels!" To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church" By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church. More fun with the ever-horny Jenna and the good chaps of St. Michael's church and beyond! At the Vicarage Social, Jenna meets an ordained Priest. A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians. In her new role as a vicar's wife, she finds there are still many other men of the church in need of guidance,Reverend Simon Morris and his wife Jenna were holding their annual November social at the vicarage. November always seemed such a depressing month, when, after the initial excitement of Guy Fawkes Night, nothing much happened. Christmas was still a little too far away, although the shops had been selling festive stuff since September. It got earlier every year. The usual members of St. Michaels church were in attendance, Gordon Leesmith the church organist and choirmaster, Josh the curate, Bishop George, Yulia et al, plus a few new faces from other churches that Jenna hadn't seen before. Jenna was wearing a low-cut, black velvet dress and a diamond encrusted cross necklace. A couple of times, she caught a tall, serious-looking man in the corner of the room staring at her. He quickly averted his eyes when she looked at him. "Wonder who he is?" The chap was clad in black and wearing a clerical collar, so evidently a vicar or priest of some kind. She knew most of the clergy at the local churches, but had never seen this guy before. Gordon was circulating, and on the hunt for a toilet. Beer always went straight to his bladder. "Great atmosphere Jenna," he said, winking at her. "You look lovely by the way." "Why thank you," she winked back. "You look rather fine yourself. That navy blue suit, Umm. We need more men in suits. Down with casual dress I say!" The organist still turned her on, despite her offloading him onto Yulia's willing friend Martika. "A shame Martika couldn't attend tonight." "Yes, she's been struck down with flu. Been in bed all week." "Aww." They looked at each other. Gordon's face bore an expression that was pretty much screaming, "I am unbearably horny and really need a fuck right now, I know you're the vicar's wife now but I still fancy you like crazy and miss your lips on my cock, " "Er is there a downstairs loo here?" He said. "There's a queue for the upstairs one and I'm bursting for a pee." "Afraid not. Hard to believe in a house this size I know. There's always the back garden. Plenty of bushes and it's dark." Jenna replied, and tossing him a crumb of hope, added. "I might join you out there later." Gordon's face lit up. "Okay. Thanks!" Jenna scanned the living room. Presently, her husband appeared. "Nice to see so many guests. I didn't think so many would turn up!" "I know, It's great!" Jenna couldn't help but notice that there were way more male guests than female ones. "I wonder why that is?" She grinned to herself. "By the way, who's that guy in the corner over there? He looks like he's at a funeral rather than a vicarage social. His face could turn milk sour." Reverend Morris looked. "Oh. That's Father Aiden. He's a Catholic priest. Only been in this neck of the woods for a few weeks. He's taken over at St Gregory's. Prior to that he was based in Liverpool. Huge Irish community there of course, and I believe he was born in Dublin." "Can't get more stereotypically Irish, can he?" The name, the look: Father Aiden had black hair, pale blue eyes and a bone-white complexion. His hairstyle struck Jenna as being somewhat old-fashioned, with sideburns. "He'd be good at playing a vampire. Why's he looking so miserable? Is it because he's in a Church of England vicarage?" Reverend Morris laughed. "Ha! No, my love. All denominations are welcome at this vicarage, we've got the Oakwood Road Methodist guys here too and the Living Earth Free Church. From what I've heard, Father Aiden is just a very serious man. It's just how he is. He's probably enjoying himself, even though he looks miserable." "If he's a Catholic priest does that mean, " "Oh yes. Vow of celibacy." "That's the real reason he's miserable then!" Jenna replied. "Indeed. Whilst I respect his vows, personally it's something I could never adhere to!" "Nope. You like pussy too much, Rev." "Jenna, shush! You're making me blush!" "I'm right though." "You know I can never get enough of your pussy," the vicar whispered in her ear. "I must go and mingle, before I get another hard-on." Jenna sensed the moment was right to get to know the mysterious Father Aiden a bit better. The priest was currently being bored to death by an elderly woman from St. Michael's who was lamenting the state of modern Britain. ", And like I keep saying, this country went to the dogs long ago. Useless, lying politicians, rising crime, rising cost of living. Unbridled filth peddled on every street corner. I imagine, Father, coming from a big city like Liverpool, this small town must seem like paradise to you. Don't be fooled! County lines are a big problem! And the local park. Would you believe it? It's become a dogging hotspot, " Father Aiden said nothing and just nodded patiently at her. Sensing he needed rescuing, Jenna cut in. "Sorry Mrs. Grimes, can I just interrupt and borrow Father Aiden for a minute? I need to discuss something." "Oh be my guest," the pensioner replied. "He's not got a lot to say." "Probably because he couldn't get a word in," Jenna muttered under her breath as Mrs. Grimes shuffled off. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jenna, Reverend Morris' wife. Nice to meet you, Father Aiden." She held out her hand, and he reluctantly shook it. "Hello." The priest spoke at last, in a thick Irish accent, his dour expression unchanging. "You look rather trapped. Too many people here for your liking?" "A little." Father Aiden replied. He looked extremely uncomfortable in Jenna's presence. "I'm still, finding my feet around this area." "I'm sure you'll settle in just fine, Father. Have you tried any of the buffet? My husband's a great cook; he's made some great cakes and, " "Maybe later. I, I would appreciate a cup of tea if possible." "Oh no problem. Why don't you take a seat in the snug? You'll find it more relaxing in there. Less chatter." "Thanks." He skulked off. Jenna took a deep breath. "Blimey, what a cold fish. I'd get better conversation out of a statue. Still, early days. With a little bit of help, he's bound to open up sooner or later." Far from putting her off, Father Aiden's stern exterior only served to fascinate Jenna further. And the fact he was a celibate priest, .hmm. That couldn't possibly be good for him, could it? Moments later, she brought him a cup of tea. "Here you go," she said, putting it on the side table by his chair and taking a seat opposite him. "Thanks, Mrs. Morris." "Jenna, please." He twitched. "Jenna." "I've never met a Catholic priest before," Jenna said, and Father Aiden straightened in the chair and braced himself for the usual questions he was always asked, usually concerning vows of celibacy. He swallowed as he noticed how close Jenna was to him. Damn. She looks so much like Róisín, but even prettier. I can't believe this. "Well, we're not that rare," he mumbled, sipping his tea. "I know very little about the Catholic church," Jenna continued. Nobody in my family is Catholic. Mostly Church of England, and a few Methodists, " "I'm sure your husband can help you with any questions you might have," Father Aiden said, and Jenna wondered if this was his polite way of saying "please leave me in peace." Pretending to be upset, Jenna stood up. "I, I'm sure you're right, Father. I'm sorry for bothering you." She hurried out of the snug. Alone at last, Father Aiden smacked his forehead. "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I always end up saying the wrong thing?" "Definitely a lot of issues with that one," Jenna smirked to herself. A couple of chips on both shoulders methinks. I'm not giving up on the good Father though. Maybe in time, he'll soften a little." Gordon had successfully relieved himself on the rose bushes in the vicarage's back garden. "Ah, that's better. I'm sure those plants needed a good watering," he muttered, zipping up his trousers. Hearing the back door opening, he spun round. "Hi there," Jenna smiled. "It's a bit cold out here, Gordon. You'll be getting a chill in your organ pipe." "Umm. I was hoping you might be able to warm it up." Jenna glanced round and took him by the hand. "In that case, come with me, " In the garage, Gordon's face flushed red with lust as Jenna leaned against a car, hiked up her dress and slipped her hand inside her drenched black panties. Her aroused smell met his nose and made his stiff cock throb more than ever. Already his pre-cum was leaking out. The fact that she was now the vicar's wife, was turning him on even more. "Oh God, Jenna. You always know what buttons to press," Gordon groaned, as she ran her hand down his crotch, cupping his bulge. "Don't you mean which stops to pull out?" She teased, unzipping his trousers. "Your cock is like the Wurlitzer organ in Blackpool Tower. It's always rising." "Ha-ha. That's why it needs you to play it," he chuckled. Jenna ran her hand down the front of his y-fronts. "Ooh, I'm not the only one here who's got damp undies!" Gordon groaned again. Jenna pulled out his cock and squeezed his balls. As she groped his manhood, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was. "Nice and sticky, just how I like it." She knelt down and teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. "Umm yes!" Gordon hissed as the vicar's wife began giving him a good blow. He'd remembered just how brilliantly Jenna was at giving blowjobs. Back during that day in church, she'd given him some superb head. Jenna withdrew and reclined on the bonnet of the car. She rubbed her neatly-trimmed bush of pubic hair and Gordon knew what she wanted him to do. With just one finger at first, the organist began tracing circles around the outside of her wet pussy. Jenna moaned, enjoying the attention, but wanting more. Sensing this, Gordon spread her pussy lips with his finger and pushed inside her, spreading her walls and began to fuck her with it. Then he lowered his head. Very slowly at first, teasing her into a state of desperate pleasure, he tongued her, savoring her juices. "Oh Gordon!" Jenna screamed. She began moving her body in time to his motions, trying to get his tongue to go even deeper. Then without warning, Gordon stopped his treatment, as he felt her hand brush against the head of his prick. "Slide your organ pipe in," she purred, knowing he got such a kick from these corny phrases. "With pleasure!" Positioning the tip of his dick right up against her wet opening, he slid inside her and was soon thrusting with vigor. "Umm, more Gordon! Yes!" He continued pumping her hard and fast, pulling almost all the way out and then slamming his dick all the way back in. He grabbed her hips to steady himself, still fucking her rapidly. Then their coupled bodies convulsed ferociously, and Gordon's pulsating member filled Jenna's snatch with his cum. "Here endeth the organ lesson," Jenna said, planting a kiss on his lips. Gordon kissed her back. "Oh thanks Jenna. I enjoyed that immensely." "And you really needed that!" She replied, adjusting her clothing. "It's not good for an organist to have so much cum building up like that, there might be a risk of a ruptured bellows." Gordon zipped up his trousers. "Far worse than trapped wind!" They both laughed. "We'd better get back to the party. I'll go first, okay?" Jenna headed out of the garage. As she walked round the side of the house, she almost walked straight into Father Aiden. "Oh!" He recoiled in shock. "Mrs, er, Jenna." "Father Aiden! You made me jump! Don't tell me you're looking for a downstairs toilet too?" He blinked. "Um no. I was, er, I wanted to apologies for earlier. I was very rude. Whatever must you think of me? You being the vicar's wife and all." "I'd say you're a chap who's just finding his way in a new place," Jenna smiled. Even in the dark, his watery blue eyes seemed to be staring right into her soul. "Anyways, apology accepted!" Before he could say another word, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Would you like another cup of tea, Father?" Father Aiden clutched his chest as though he'd glimpsed Satan himself. A look of horror on his face. "What's the matter?" Jenna said, glancing back at him. "My tea isn't that bad is it?" The Priest is caught masturbating "Holy Spirit, come into my heart and show me my sins. Give me a proper spirit of repentance and the grace to make a good confession. Give me your peace that I might not be anxious but rather trust in your abundant mercies." Father Aiden said a prayer to himself. He was anxiously sitting in his confessional, awaiting the arrival of any lost sheep who were in need of his guidance. Here of all places, he needed to be focused on his job as a priest, yet his mind was on other things. Last night, he'd attended a gathering at St. Michael's vicarage. He hadn't really wanted to go, as social events made him uncomfortable, but had gone along to show willing. It had been his first social since he'd left Liverpool. It had all been going well until he'd met the vicar's wife, Jenna. The woman had shocked him to the core. She reminded him so much of Róisín, a twentysomething woman whom he'd developed feelings for back in Liverpool. He'd come perilously close to breaking his celibacy vows with her, they'd kissed passionately a couple of times in the confessional booth, until Father Aiden's nerves and guilt finally got the better of him and he'd pushed her away. Feeling it best to move on before things developed into something more serious, he quit his post and requested to be moved elsewhere. He'd narrowly avoided a scandal. Father Aiden was thirty-five, and had been a priest for eight years now. He recalled his early years, growing up in a small village near Dublin. As rigidly as he'd stuck to his celibacy vows since joining the priesthood, Father Aiden was no virgin. As an eighteen year old, he'd been an altar boy at his local church, and lost his virginity to Sara, a much older married woman who was a member of the congregation. They'd enjoyed passionate romps in the confessional booths, in the vestry, just about everywhere. Sara had a very high sex drive and didn't get any from her dull husband. Then a nightmare situation. Sara had fallen pregnant. Aiden's world had been rocked. In their strict Catholic community, even the thought of getting an abortion was out of the question. Aiden had resigned himself to becoming a young dad, but then just as he was starting to like the idea, fate intervened and Sara suffered a miscarriage. He didn't think it would have affected him so badly, but it did, and he blamed himself. It had been a punishment from God. From that day on, Father Aiden made up his mind to become a priest, much to the delight of his parents. However, much as he tried to bury any sinful urges, Father Aiden struggled. After Róisín, he hoped he wouldn't be attracted to another woman, but now he'd seen Jenna Morris, and been immediately smitten. "Dear God, help me not to be so weak in body and mind. I must cast out these sinful thoughts." He was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the confessional. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned." A middle-aged man said. "It's been a week since my last confession." Father Aiden composed himself and did his duty as a priest. Jenna grinned as an Amazon delivery van pulled up outside the vicarage. "Oh good. It's arrived. That was quick." Reverend Morris was coming down the stairs as she was eagerly opening a parcel. "What do you think?" Jenna said, holding up a nun costume. "Ooh sexy. That'll turn heads at the church hall's fancy dress party next month! How very naughty and sinful. Better hope that Father Aiden doesn't turn up to that, eh? Might prove a bit too much for him! Talking of which, would you mind calling at St. Gregory's and dropping off that book he wanted to borrow?" "No problem," Jenna replied. She picked up the paperback. "The Seeker by S G Maclean. Oh, he's into historical fiction is he? Well good to know he has other interests." Reverend Morris started laughing. "Heh, I don't know how I coped when the curate made that joke to him at the social. I know Josh had had way too much to drink but, dear God, I could've died when he started going on about Catholic priests lusting after choirboys." "What? I must've missed that! It must've been when I was f, er, talking to Gordon." "Yes. Father Aiden didn't see the funny side at all. I don't think Josh will even remember what he said to him. Anyways, I had to apologies!" Jenna couldn't help but snigger. "By the way, who are you going to dress up as for the party?" "Haven't decided yet. You once said I looked like Prince Edward, perhaps I should dress as up in Royal robes and get a crown? Anyways, I must get going. I've got a meeting with Bishop George. What a busy week. Christopher's coming round tomorrow." "It's be lovely to see him. If the weather's nice, we can have a day out somewhere. I know how much he loves dinosaurs, why don't we take him to the museum?" "Sounds great! Okay, I'll be back around four. Take care my love. Do give Father Aiden my best wishes." The vicar embraced her and they shared a lingering kiss, before he reluctantly tore himself away. Alone in the house, Jenna turned to the nun costume. Just how would Father Aiden react? "That would be a risk worth taking," she said out loud. Father Aiden had retired to his study. Saturdays were always quiet, and he relished this calm period. Reclining in a chair, he closed his eyes, Slowly, he unbuttoned his cassock. Before long he'd unzipped his trousers too. He was alone in the privacy of his study. His dick was now standing fully at attention. With mental images of Jenna Morris filling his head, Father Aiden took it in his hand and stroked it. He started talking out loud, as though reading out an erotic story where Jenna was pleasuring him. "She settles to her knees between my thighs, opens my cassock and reaches up to open my trousers." He stopped and moaned. "My willing lamb Jenna starts by licking the tip, tasting my precum. It is like silk. She then takes the head into her mouth and sucks it, darting her tongue into the slit. By now, I am rock hard, but still silent. She then takes my entire shaft into her mouth and keeps it there, running her tongue along the bottom. My cock shivers in her mouth; my only reaction. For what she is about to receive, I know she is truly thankful." Father Aiden was furiously pumping his cock up and down. "I gently place my hand on her head, and utter another prayer. My eyes are closed. I am about to come. I can't explain how glorious a moment this is. My lamb is so skilled, and now her sins shall be absolved." He was panting as he felt his orgasm building. Jenna parked the car in the street opposite St. Gregory's. The church was a grand old building, double the size of St. Michael's. The plaque on the railings described the church in eloquent fashion: ", an edifice in the Early English style, consisting of a basidial chancel, nave, transepts, north porch, lady chapel, and an embattled western tower, added in 1894 and containing 8 bells." "Never been in this church before. Oh well, first time for everything." with her usual bold as brass demeanor, she entered the church. "Wow, this is pretty ornate," she remarked. The place appeared deserted. No churchwardens or other staff anywhere. There was no sign of the priest. Jenna walked around the church, nosey-parkering here and there. She waited for a while, wondering if someone might come out of the confessional, but evidently that was empty too. Then she heard a muffled voice coming from a door at the back of the church. "She knows I am ready and expects me to moan or yell, but all I do is tense slightly, for there are still other members of the congregation in the church. Then she feels my load in her mouth. She swallows everything, letting the last bit rest on her tongue so she can savor it." Father Aiden continued muttering to himself, in between moans. Jenna put her ear to the door. It was Father Aiden's voice alright, and he sounded like he was talking to someone on the phone. Then a load groan made her take a step back.. "What the hell is he doing in there?" She wondered. She was about to knock, but what he said next made her gasp. "She continues to suck my cock, a soft and gentle motion, caressing me with her lips and tongue, the feeling of this is indescribable. When she removes her mouth, she kisses the tip of my cock, and I moan, oh dear God, yes, yes!" Jenna squinted and peered through the keyhole. Her eye widened as she witnessed the priest reclined in a chair, masturbating furiously. He had that same miserable expression on his face, but his pale complexion was tinged with a blush, and he was grunting, seconds later he climaxed, shooting his seed into his free hand. "Oh wow!" Jenna couldn't believe what she was seeing. "No wonder he was so miserable. Just look how horny the poor man is!" She licked her lips. The priest had an attractive uncut cock and to say it was large was an understatement. Though tempted to walk in and suck it right there, Jenna decided against it. "No. Not yet. I must wait for the right moment. And then I'll finally put a smile on this face." As he recovered from his orgasm, Father Aiden finished with a prayer. "God, I thank you for your abundant mercies. No sin of mine is beyond your power to forgive, and your forgiveness has restored my soul to friendship with you. Thank you for never ceasing to love me even when my actions show that I do not love you fully. Thank you for seeking me out as the shepherd seeks the lost sheep." A dull thud outside the door brought him to his senses. Quickly, he wiped the cum of his hand with a tissue and zipped up his trousers. Cautiously opening the door, he looked around. The church was deserted, but there was a vague scent of a familiar perfume in the air, where had he smelt that before? He glanced down. And saw the book. He bent down to pick it up. "Holy Mother of God, " Jenna had been here! Beauty and the Priest Friday night presented a perfect opportunity. Jenna's heart was pounding as she made her way to the clergy house where Father Aiden resided. The nun costume was proving to be quite itchy and uncomfortable, seeing as she wasn't wearing anything underneath it. To be expected of cheap Chinese tat purchased on Amazon. Still, the costume would serve its purpose, she hoped. Father Aiden reclined in an armchair as he read a chapter of the book that had been left in the church. Normally, he would be immediately engrossed in the story, but his mind was elsewhere. "Did she hear what I was saying? She must've heard something." The thought that the vicar's wife might have overheard what he'd been saying was mortifying. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, jolting him back to reality. "Who could that be at this late hour?" The priest mused as he got up. Usually the odd lost sheep called round, mostly Eileen Hattersley, a lonely old widow always in desperate need of a chat and reassurance. Then there was Bernard, a troubled fifty-something man whom Father Aiden suspected was closeted. He opened the front door. What he saw was almost sufficient to make him faint. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "Uh, Jenna? What, the, what are you doing here?" "Well Father, I would've thought my intentions were rather obvious. Please may I come in?" His stern expression remained the same. He took a deep breath as he ushered her inside. "I know why you've come," he said at last. "You left the book the other day, didn't you? You obviously heard me, in my study." "I did," Jenna replied. "And yes, I heard." His ice-cold calmness slipped a little. "Celibacy, is hard," he murmured, staring at the floor. "I can only apologies for the disgraceful things you heard." Jenna raised her hand and touched his cheek. "But you have nothing to apologies for, Father. "Hearing you saying your erotic thoughts out loud was a huge turn-on. And a relief as well. Nice to know that priests have lustful urges like the rest of us." "Oh dear God Jenna, that's just the problem. I'm having too many of these lustful urges. I'm a poor servant of God. I can't stick to my vows. I'm sinning whilst in church, what is God to do with me?" Jenna thought for a moment. "Your opinion of God is different from mine. I was always taught that because he sent Jesus, who died for us, we do not need to fear eternal punishment for sin. You seem such an unhappy man, Father. Why not be truly honest, as God knows your thoughts anyway. Tell me, what do you truly want?" The sight of her dressed as a nun and giggling in a coquettish manner was sufficient to send blood surging to his manhood. He didn't reply, just put his hands to her face and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Oh Father!" Jenna whispered. The priest recoiled at once. "I-I'm sorry. Please forgive me." "You are forgiven. Now please kiss me again." He gazed at Jenna, moving his head in closer to kiss her on the lips. She pressed up against his body, feeling his hands on the small of her back. He broke it off. Jenna used the opportunity to gently bite the side of his ear, running over his inner ear with her tongue. He stiffened as she moved across his ear, going down until she got to the lobe. Father Aiden moaned, his breath warm on her cheek. His open mouth pressing into it. He didn't respond further. Jenna dislodged herself from his ear, causing him to look up as he moved his head. "Come," he said, taking her by the hand and leading her into the sitting room. Jenna liked the way he was taking control like this. "Yes, Father." In the middle of the room, he stood facing her. "Kneel." She did as he asked. Father Aiden unbuttoned his cassock, revealing a straining bulge in his black trousers. "Please, heal me," he whispered. Jenna needed no further encouragement. Putting her hands together in a prayer, she smiled up at him. "For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful." Slowly, she unbuckled his belt and started on his trousers. Father Aiden's huge cock sprang free the moment she unzipped them, and Jenna was surprised that he was commando under there. "Are all Catholic priests as well-endowed as you?" She commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his erection. Father Aiden simply shrugged. Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his entire holy tool in her mouth and she was nuzzling his pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. The priest could not believe his eyes as Jenna took him into her mouth. Never would he have dreamt that his dull evening would have ended like this. And yet here this beautiful young woman was sucking on his hardened member. He groaned with pleasure at the sensations of her warm mouth on him. He was afraid to move at first, so he stood still, giving her free reign. Jenna continued to suck and was amazed to see Father Aiden's erection become even thicker and harder under her ministrations. She had never seen anyone so well-endowed, putting even her husband to shame. Her hands pumped the bottom of his shaft up and down as she continued to suck. Without saying anything, Father Aiden beckoned Jenna to stand up. He led her to the armchair and raised the nun costume, above her waist. He let out a sigh as Jenna's unclothed pussy was revealed to him. He liked the fact she was unshaved down there, unlike so many of the women he'd seen in porn videos, waxed and plucked so much that their pubic areas reminded him of supermarket chickens. Father Aiden slid down and began to slowly lick, nibble and suck her clitoris. "Oh my God Father, " Jenna exclaimed. Hearing her utter his title like that, emboldened him. He licked and fingered her some more, and could feel her impending climax building, her hips rose up, she arched her back and started to yell. "Oh Father; oh, yes! Father Aiden worked his tongue up inside her womanhood, swirling it around. His upper lip brushed her clit and moments later she exploded, squirting on his tongue and face. With a single finger, Father Aiden took some of the juice and marked the sign of the cross on his forehead. Still, he said nothing! After she'd recovered, he stood up and gently helped Jenna to her feet. He looked deeply into her eyes, and brought her lips to his. They kissed passionately, Jenna tasting her own juices on the priest's tongue. Finally, Father Aiden withdrew, and removed his clothes. Jenna did the same, glad to be free of the itchy nun costume. "Oh," she smiled, noticing his dark chest hair. She ran a finger through it. Father Aiden took her hands in his and pulled her down to the floor. He reclined on the sheepskin rug. The warmth and light from the wood burning stove played across her body as Jenna straddled the priest and slowly lowered herself onto his erect pole. His thick head slid into her, stretching her to the limit. She paused to get adjusted to the mass of flesh inside of her, then continued to push down, filling herself. Father Aiden groaned with pleasure as he felt himself enter Jenna's tight opening. She kept moving up and down his shaft, each time lowering herself further and further until he was completely buried inside of her. The feeling of his erection deep inside her tight wet opening was incredible. He reached up and caressed her breasts as Jenna rode up and down his throbbing rod. Pressure began to build in Father Aiden's groin as Jenna continued to slide up and down his erection, slick with her juices. Her hot tunnel gripped him like a vice and seeing this beautiful redhead riding him, eyes closed, mouth open gasping with pleasure as he kneaded her breasts was too much for him. He felt the pressure continue to build, then a tightening at the base of his balls until he felt like he was about to explode. The waves of pleasure built to a peak until the continuous pummeling pushed Jenna over the edge and her body convulsed as she climaxed a second time. As she writhed in pleasure above him, Father Aiden felt himself explode as he released his load deep into her womb. His cock seemed to spasm forever as he shot spurt after spurt of cum, filling her until he was completely drained. Jenna collapsed on top of him, also completely spent. When Jenna opened her eyes, Father Aiden was staring right back at her, and he was smiling. A truly lovely smile. To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

 The Curate loses his virginity. By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. At this Sunday's service, there was much talk of the upcoming harvest festival. Members of the congregation were encouraged to donate fruit and vegetables, along with non-perishable items for the local food bank. Jenna had made an effort and brought along a bag of apples. She placed the bag on the side table in the church hall. "I don't know how a brazen hussy like you has the cheek to set foot in a church."Jenna remained calm, as she turned to face Mrs. Norris. "Well I'm a Christian, the same as you." "Huh! Christian my foot. I saw what you and the organist were getting up to and I think it's disgusting! In the church of all places! And he's old enough to be your father!" "Well if you clutch those pearls of yours any tighter they'll crumble to dust. And Gordon and I happen to be consenting adults. Single consenting adults. So there." "Why you, you, .horrid little slag!" Mrs. Norris fumed, lip quivering. She stormed off. Jenna exhaled and rolled her eyes. "Coffee or tea?" a friendlier voice asked. It was Debbie, the Sunday school teacher, who was volunteering to do today's hot drinks rota in the hall. "Tea please," Jenna replied. "You okay?" "Yeah. I don't think I'll be on her Christmas card list." "Don't let that old bag get to you. She's a nasty one. She's horribly ageist. Not to mention xenophobic too. I overheard her mocking Yulia's English skills last week. I can't stand her. Her husband's not that bad, he's a tedious fusspot, but there's no malice in him. But her, she's poison." "I heard her hubby spreads gossip on Facebook." Jenna said. "More likely that's her doing." Debbie replied. "I'd be surprised if John Norris even knows how to switch on a laptop." A brief chill ran through Jenna. What if Mrs. Norris were to post some bile about her online? "I don't use social media anymore," she said. "Briefly poked my nose into Twitter as a teen, but didn't like the pile-ons." "Wise. I'm on Facebook, but only to keep up with church stuff. I never post anything about my private life. I imagine Mrs. Norris would have a stroke if she knew I was dating a woman. A married woman at that. Keep it to yourself. I'm not ready to come out yet." "Don't worry, I won't say a word." Jenna sipped her tea quietly as she observed the other members of the congregation file into the hall. She was hoping Reverend Morris would soon arrive, but after fifteen minutes, there was still no sign of him. Then there was Gordon; he never came into the hall after a service, and he'd sent her that amusing text message on Friday, about Charles Wesley and his "bulging hymn book." She headed out of the hall, in search of Gordon, when Josh the curate came staggering in, carrying a massive pile of hymn books. He almost collided with Jenna and dropped a couple of books. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" Josh stammered. "How clumsy of me." Jenna bent down and picked up the books. "You're loaded up like a pack horse. Let me give you a hand. Where are you taking all these?" "Um. So kind!" His pale cheeks went pink. "The storeroom at the far end of the hall. These are spare hymn books." "Ok. Lead the way. By the way, you haven't seen the vicar have you?"" "Oh, he and the organist are in a meeting. One of the organ pipes has just been repaired." "Damn," Jenna muttered under her breath. "Oh dear. How sad. I guess he'll miss his tea and biscuits." She followed Josh down to the storeroom. She'd never paid much attention to the curate before, but looking at him now, she realized that he was rather cute. Mid-twenties, tall and stocky with fair hair and a chubby face. There was an endearing innocence about him. Reverend Morris had said he was hoping to complete his ordination next year and become a fully-fledged vicar. He'd been impressed by his devotion to the church - but he needed to come out of his shell a bit and interact more with worshippers. Josh was a shy man and lacking in self-confidence. Remembering this information made Jenna smile. I think this innocent curate needs some other kind of help, The storeroom was vast, and crammed from floor to ceiling with box files, books, old furniture and plastic crates. "Holy sh,, I didn't know this room existed. And what a lot of stuff for one small church!" Jenna exclaimed. "Heh, yeah." Josh said, putting the books down. "It's not just for St Michael's. We share it with St John's and the Methodist church on Oakwood Road." Jenna began putting the books on the shelf. "Um you don't need to do that,” "Jenna." Josh blushed again. "Jenna. It's kind of you to do that but,” "Oh I don't mind. Why should you have to do all the donkey work? This room is a tip. Besides, a good Christian should help others, right? Especially the vicar's right-hand man. That's what a curate is, yes?" Josh relaxed a bit. "Pretty much, yeah. Like Batman and Robin." "Have you always wanted to be a curate?" Josh sat down on a stool. "In truth, no way. I wasn't religious at all when I was a kid. I suffered from crippling shyness. I used to dread being asked to read in front of the class. When I was ten, my dad walked out, and that affected me a lot. Haven't seen him since. Mum turned to drink, I relied on my grandad for support. He became a father figure to me. He used to be a vicar. Thanks to him I survived my teens and passed my exams. I was eighteen when he died. That's when I decided I wanted to follow in his footsteps. Without him - and God, I fear, well I may have gone down a dark path. Got in with a bad crowd. Taken drugs, self-harmed, maybe ended up in jail." "Wow." Jenna replied, realizing how cosseted and safe her upbringing had been. "Well I'm so glad your grandad was there for you." "There are still days when I doubt myself and I'm in a bad place. I feel useless." "Don't put yourself down," Jenna said, walking towards him. "You're an amazing role model, especially for younger people." Josh blinked. "You, think so?" "I do. Plus, you're really cute. Has a girl ever told you that before?" Josh blushed. "Err, no-one except my Nan. I don't think she counts." "Women round here must be blind," Jenna added, making him squirm with embarrassment. She leant forward and planted a kiss on his lips. He trembled, cheeks turning redder. "J-Jenna, don't,” "It's alright Josh. You're not committing a sin or anything. We're not inside the church, if that's you're worried about." "N-no, it's not that. I, um,” The curate sighed. "I,  I'm just scared of, I don't know if I can, do this." She already knew he was single and straight, but decided to question him. "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No, but, um, that's the problem really. I'd like one, but I wouldn't know how to tell her,” Jenna stroked his arm. "Tell her what?" "I worry she'd laugh at me." "Josh. Whatever it is, I promise I would never laugh at you. And I will understand." He looked down. "Shit. I'm twenty-five. And I'm still a virgin! I've never gone beyond kissing a girl." She kissed his cheek again. "Oh Josh. That's nothing to feel awkward about. In fact I admire you. In this age when we're bombarded with over-sexualized imagery 24/7 both online and offline, finding someone who's chosen to wait is pretty awesome in my opinion. I lost mine just days after reaching the age of consent. I couldn't wait to lose it. But that's just me,” "Yeah but, I, um,” She pulled him to his feet and gently coaxed the truth out of him. "You want to lose your virginity, yes?" "More than anything. But, dating today is scary. It's a minefield. Especially after Me Too. I'm afraid. I don't want to say the wrong thing and come across as some horny creep,” Jenna held back a chuckle. Mrs. Norris probably thinks of me as a horny creep. She thought. "I get that. But trust me. I don't think a sweet, kind-hearted man of God like you could ever be a creep. Horny yes, nothing wrong with that of course." She winked at him and he gulped. "How about it? I think you're ready right now." His eyes widened. "W-what? Here?" "Why not? It's nice and private, And you're a really sexy curate!" Her face was just inches from his own, hovering there. Then her lips were on his, dancing there softly for a moment before pulling away. "Jenna,” He was already rock hard, and hoped his cassock had disguised this fact. "Shush. You're very special." She whispered, barely audible. "You're warm, caring,  You're strong. You deserve to be experience the joys of the flesh." She kissed him again. It's okay to feel nervous. First time is always a bit nerve-racking. But just relax. You'll be just fine,” What an adorable lamb to the slaughter, Jenna thought to herself. He's so scared and unsure. I've never seduced a virgin before, so I'd better not go too hard on him. I do love a challenge. With a bit of encouragement, this sweet guy could have real potential. The touch of her lips sent a fire through his body, a jolt that brought a tingle to every micron of his skin. "Oh, Jenna!" "Shhh." Her lips caressed his own, then his nose, his ear. "Don't talk just now, okay?" "Mmm?" She kissed him again, gently caressing his upper lip between her own. At last, he responded. "Josh." Jenna smiled cheekily. "You're a pretty good kisser, you know that?" "Really?" Just relax. I'm not going anywhere, there's no rush. All we have to do is discover each other. There's no hurry. No-one's going to come in here. I imagine the vicar will be busy for ages." Jenna ran her hand down the front of his black cassock. "Oh my, you're more than ready. "Let's get these buttons unfastened." She knelt before him, opening the cassock and revealing the black trousers underneath. And another straining crotch bulge. "I'm going to worship you," she whispered, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers. Josh was wearing plain black briefs underneath. It was fun seeing the different types of undies men wore. First there was Reverend Morris with his "holy boxers," then Gordon and his sensible white y-fronts, now Josh with smart black tight-fitting briefs. "Everything will be fine. I promise. Close your eyes if it makes you feel better, okay?" The curate hesitated still, but Jenna's smile was reassuring and gentle. "I promise you'll like it." With a shudder, Josh squeezed his eyes tight as his trousers and underwear were lowered, and he could feel the cool air of the room, then Jenna's warm breath on his manhood. "There we are." He couldn't resist a peek, through half-closed eyes. He was painfully stiff, of course, harder than he'd ever been in his life, but he didn't need his eyes to tell him that. He shivered as Jenna ran her hand through his pubes and stooped to kiss him there. He gasped as her smooth palm encircled him. "Oh my God!" "Mmm. So beautiful. Truly God's gift to women. Just relax, don't fight the feeling. Isn't it nice?" Jenna kissed the very tip of his member, and he gasped and moaned, his muscles tensing. "Don't fight it now Josh, just let the feelings come. Relax and let it take you. You don't have to hold it back, just let it come." With that, she closed her lips around his head, tasted him with her tongue. "Uh! Oh Jesus!" The curate groaned. The crescendo was boiling in him now, wonderful and frightening and exhilarating. Nothing could have prepared him for the warm embrace of a woman's mouth, the slight roughness of her tongue as she rolled it up and down his length. No porn, no fantasy could have approached the sensation of her lips gently drawing on his cock, coaxing him towards a peak of indescribable pleasure. The fire was in him and around him, consuming him and his thoughts until all that he was became the connection with her, his flesh and her mouth. Her hands cradled his cock gently as he built towards climax, his breathing becoming rapid and shallow. "Oh,” "Let it come." Josh sighed deeply in relief as Jenna enveloped him again, shuddered as he felt himself swell between her lips, as he released himself to her, surrendered to her, spurting his cum. She lingered over his manhood, slowly coaxing him down from the heights of his ecstasy. She gently licked his shaft and kissed a drop of his essence from the tip, and smiled up at him. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" She said, standing up. "Did you enjoy your first blowjob?" "Jenna. Fucking hell!" "I'll take that as a yes?" "Yes!" he gasped. "Oh good. Because we're not done yet. You don't get off that easily you know!" Jenna began unfastening her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. Josh's eyes widened. She wasn't wearing any panties. An old, battered table was in the middle of the storeroom. Jenna cleared it and reclined on it, spreading her legs and unfastening her blouse. No bra! "Your turn." Josh crossed himself. "Just trust your instincts." She whispered, lowering herself onto her back. Josh stared at her for a second, dumbstruck by her beauty and timid as a deer. Her gently smiling face and the flowing red hair that framed it, the round fullness of her breasts, her long legs, and the tantalizing lure of her wet womanhood between, Finding his courage at last, Josh moved close. With a shaky hand he reached out and tentatively cupped her left breast. Tracing the nipple with his thumb, ever so gently. "Mmm nice, Josh. Keep going!" Encouraged, Josh lowered his mouth to her other breast, the memory of the delightful sensations she'd given him earlier fresh in his mind. He felt her run her fingers through his short blonde hair as he tasted her with his tongue, heard her sigh as he closed his lips around her nipple. "Gently now." "Sorry!" The curate feasted on her breasts for a bit longer, before moving down to her abdomen, planting more kisses, then he paused for a moment. Jenna said nothing, silently urging him to carry on, and he did. Tentatively, he kissed the inside of her thighs, tracing a finger through the trimmed hair above her slit. Josh continued to lovingly kiss her thighs, his nerves beginning to fade. The heady scent of her was overpowering, emboldening him to trail a finger between her cunt lips. The wetness he felt there surprised him, and he glanced up. "You're doing great, Josh." Jenna answered in a throaty whisper. "Please don't stop." He ran a finger over her clit, causing her to let out a moan. Lowering his head, he caressed her softly with his mouth, tasting her. "Oh Josh,” He suckled gently on her clit and she let out a scream. "Jenna?" He pulled away from her, his fear returning. "Did I hurt you?" "No Josh. It was incredible, that's all. When you licked me down there, wow. You sure know how to thrill a woman. You learn quick! But don't make me cum just yet. Because I want you inside me when it happens." Josh's heart leapt into his throat. "Oh,” "Are you ready?" "Um, but protection, I-I don't have a condom,” "It's okay, you don't need to worry. I'm on the Pill." "Oh, right. Good,” "Think of this as doing God's work," Jenna purred, urging him to get on with it. She was eager to feel that virgin cock inside her. Slowly he positioned himself above her on the creaking table. Jenna took his cock in her hand, guiding him. He felt the head of his organ nestle inside her. "Lord in Heaven!" It was such exquisite torture, fighting the urge to cum as fast as he could. The feel of her cunt as it sheathed him was beyond even the joys he'd felt already. At first, he slipped in and out of her slowly. He buried his face in her neck. "Umm, oh God Josh. Yes! Go harder!" Jenna slowly relaxed her control, allowing him to work his cock in and out of her more forcefully. He thrust in deep, as far as he could, and gasped, savoring the sensation. "Oh Josh, that's so good!" He speeded up, as she wrapped her legs round him. Soon he was pounding her like a pro. "Jenna!" He could feel his climax coming now, a mighty force of almost Biblical proportions. Just as Jesus drove out many devils, Josh drove out his virginity, casting it aside forever. He'd been freed. "Ugh!" With a roar of release the curate came, filling Jenna's womanhood with his seed. Josh wasn't sure how long his orgasm lasted. But he knew that it was wonderful, an epiphany of sensation, and that Jenna writhed and gasped in the throes of her own climax in perfect harmony with his. When they'd both calmed down, Jenna held him close and kissed him. "Are you okay? You were amazing, Josh, do you know that? How are you feeling?" "Just fantastic, absolutely fantastic! I, wow. That was, incredible. Um, do you mind if I say a quick prayer for both of us?" "Not at all. You go ahead." When he'd finished, he opened his eyes and looked at Jenna, who was smiling broadly. "You are going to become a bloody amazing vicar!" She said. An Erotic Dream & an organ lesson. T'was the Year of Our Lord 1739, and on a road bound for London, weary preacher and hymn writer Charles Wesley had just arrived at a tavern. "Innkeeper! I hath been riding all day and my poor horse be in the great need of water and rest. As am I." Charles said. "Fear thee not, good fellow, I'll tend to thine horse!" The innkeeper replied. "If it's a room for the night you're looking for, then ye hath come to the right place. Here at the Lamb Inn, there's always a warm greeting for a weary traveler. I'll leave ye in the capable hands of my fine wench Jen, who is adept at making gentlemen feel welcome,” "Greetings to you sir!" Jen said, and Charles was a little taken aback by this stunning redheaded wench. "If you'd like to follow me, I'll lead you to your bedchamber." She picked up a candle and gave him a seductive smirk. "Gladly, Miss!" Charles replied, following her up the creaking wooden staircase. In the main room, sounds of merriment filled the air as many men supped ale and enjoyed the company of willing wenches. "I see you're a man of faith, sir," said Jen as she reached the top of the stairs. "Have you travelled far?" "Aye, all the way from Bristol. I write many hymns. I'm going to visit my older brother John, who's in London. He's a preacher too. In fact he,” "Oh gosh, of course! Your brother must be John Wesley, founder of that Methodist movement I keep hearin' about!" "That's right! I'm Charles Wesley." Jen entered the bedchamber. "Here we are, Mr. Wesley. I trust the room is to your liking? This happens to be a new room - never been used before. Bed never slept in, chair never sat on, chamber pot never,” "Ah, glorious!" Charles interrupted her. "It looks most excellent. I am indeed blessed to have been afforded such kindness. God is good!" "Mmm, thanks be to God," Jen replied, eyeing up Charles. He was young and rather attractive for a man of the cloth. Most of the clergy she'd encountered in her life had been very old men. "There be a fresh jug of water on the table for you, Mr. Wesley. We're lucky here. The Lamb has a deep well which provides safe, clean water to drink. That's why we get so many visitors desperate to quench their thirst without worry of getting the flux." Charles nodded as he put his bag down on the chair and removed his black robe. That four poster bed looked so inviting. "Why don't you sit on the bed, Mr. Wesley? I cannot help but wonder, after all that riding, do you not grow a little stiff?" "Um, I am a little stiff, yes." "Then come over here and sit beside me." Jen said, patting the bed. "I'd be interested to hear about your hymn writing." Charles bashfully did as she asked. "Well right now, I am working on a "Hymn for Christmas Day." But I confess I have only written the first verse. "Perchance could I hear this first verse?" Jen replied. Charles nodded. "Hark how all the Welkin rings Glory to the King of Kings, Peace on Earth, and Mercy mild, God and Sinners reconciled!" "I'd say that's a marvelous first verse," said Jen. "Very stirring, very uplifting. It makes one, rise to the occasion." Her hand had somehow ended up on his thigh. "Oh do you think so? That pleases me greatly, Miss! Now if only I could complete it." Jen removed her mobcap, revealing long, tumbling red locks. Charles gazed, mesmerized. "By all the saints, you're a pretty woman, Miss,” "Jen, Mr. Wesley, perhaps I can be of some help to you." She blew out the candle. "Oh my! Now we're in the dark. How careless of me! We'll just have to,” "Oh Miss Jen!" Charles gasped as her hand groped him in an intimate place. "I think you've risen to the occasion Mr. Wesley!" A few moments later and the good wench had relieved the dear Mr. Wesley of his breeches and cast off the rest of his apparel, including a periwig. The preacher produced naked, stiff, and erect, a wonderful maypole. Jen put her hands to this fine example of maleness and her actions had the desired effect. "Ah! I think my inspiration is returning!" "I'm filled with joy, Mr. Wesley! Tis an honor to help you!" "Joyful all ye Nations rise, Join the Triumph of the Skies, Universal Nature say "Christ the Lord is born to Day!" "That's a wonderful second verse!" Jen ran her tongue round the preacher's erect member, before taking his entire length into her mouth. "Oh Lord in Heaven, I have given in to sin, but if the sin results in a completed hymn, will thou look upon me with mercy?" Charles gasped, as the pleasure overwhelmed him. Jen withdrew. "The Lord will indeed pardon you, Mr. Wesley. Now please relax and enjoy my help!" "Ah, oh my God, thine tongue is divine, it feels so good!" Jen sucked, licked and teased Charles' cock until he could take no more. "Miss Jen! I'm going to spend! Oh, yes!" "Ahh, I have been anointed by your holy essence, Mr. Wesley!" Jen giggled as she eagerly gobbled up his seed. Charles' face bore an expression of utter bliss and satisfaction. "Oh Miss Jen. I am so grateful God delivered me to this inn. What sweet pleasures you have afforded me this evening!" A furious knocking on the bedchamber door disturbed the blissful ambience. "Jen! Jen! You need to get up!" a woman shouted. "Is that, the innkeeper's wife?" Charles wondered, still dazed after his powerful orgasm. Jen licked the remaining cum off the preacher's softening cock. "Mm, sounds like Mother. But wait, Mother died of smallpox ten years ago, so how, ?" Everything seemed to fade away in a strange haze. "Jen! You're going to be late for work! Wake up!" Jenna finally awoke. "Huh? What?" "Are you alright?" Her mum shouted. "Answer me or I'm coming in." "Um yeah. I'm fine Mum!" She rolled over and reached for her smartphone. Squinting, she looked at the clock. "Shit! I overslept!" Breakfast was a rushed affair, with Jenna barely able to drink half a cup of coffee and a piece of toast. "For goodness cake, slow down before you choke on that," her mum said. "Can't believe I overslept. I set my phone. I've never done that before." Jenna said. "Hey, we all do it sometimes. Though your exertions at church no doubt kept you up late. Your dad and I noticed how much time you've been spending at St. Michael's. Now feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but what's with the sudden obsession with church? You've never been interested before. You used to laugh at Gran for being in the Mother's Union." "I guess the pandemic made me think about things differently," Jenna lied, trying to think up a good excuse. "I know I never attended church much before, but I never stopped being a believer." "That's great, Jen. I'm glad it makes you happy. I just hope you're not spending all your time with old people, though. It's good to mix with people your own age." "Oh there's a good mix of different ages at St Michael's. They're not all boomers, Mum. The curate, Yulia and Debbie aren't much different to me. And Reverend Morris, .he's amazing." "I'm sure he is," her mum replied, with a wry grin. "You out tonight?" "Yes. Choir practice." Jenna grabbed her bag and car keys. "By the way, who's Charles Wesley?" "Um, what?" "You were yelling his name over and over in your sleep. You must've been dreaming." "Oh. Well he's a guy who wrote a lot of great hymns. He lived in the 18th century. He wrote that famous carol "Hark the Herald Angels Sing", although the original words were different. Gotta go. Love you. Bye!" Jenna's mum shook her head. "Charles Wesley? When I was growing up, I used to dream about Brad Pitt." "I have got to get a place of my own," Jenna muttered to herself as she headed to the car. "That was cringe." Jenna had prepared herself for her evening "choir practice" with Gordon, by wearing her best lingerie and a sexy dress that perfectly highlighted her curves and cleavage. The organist himself had also made an effort, by wearing his best suit and tie. With his black robe unfastened, he resembled an old-fashioned headmaster. "Hello there!" Gordon said, grinning from ear to ear. Whoa, she looked drop-dead gorgeous. He was practically drooling like a dog in heat. "Not so bad yourself, Gordon!" Jenna replied. "Love the suit. Now all you need is a cane." "A cane?" "To punish me with. You see, I've been a naughty girl. I forgot to practice that piece of music you mentioned." "Oh dearie me," Gordon said, walking over to her. "Whatever am I to do with such a naughty girl? Never mind. I'm sure you can make it up to me some way,” He sat down on the organ stool. "Come sit in my lap, Jenna. We're going to play a little tune together. I'm sure you can do it." "Why Gordon, I'm not sure I can play this. It's a bit of a step up from the piano." "Just give it a try. I'm sure you'll learn quick!" He winked. "Try the third manual," he added, indicating one of the keyboards. Jenna bit her lip and slid onto Gordon's lap. She deliberated wiggled about a bit, causing him to let out a groan. "This seat is a little, hard!" Jenna began playing the first few notes. "You're right, Kings and Queens does sound fantastic on a pipe organ. I'd have never guessed you were an Ava Max fan, Gordon." "Hah, I'm not. Can't stand modern pop music. But the younger members of the choir are always begging for this song. You're great at this!" As Jenna continued to play, Gordon began massaging her breasts and kissing her exposed neck. "Oh Gordon," Jenna sighed. "There's a part-time job available,” he continued, between kisses. "An assistant choirmaster and pianist at the Sunday school. Three days a week. The school isn't just open on Sundays anymore. There's a crèche and breakfast club on Wednesdays. They do after-school sessions for kids who have special needs. It's not bad money. I know you've got all the relevant qualifications. If you're interested, I could easily pull a few strings and get you in." Jenna suddenly halted her playing. "Wow, are you serious?" "Of course I am. Look, the young 'uns think I'm some kind of ogre. And they're probably right. But you, you'd be such an asset to the school. And tell me honestly, do you truly enjoy working in a call center?" "I hate it. The pay is shit and I hate my boss. Now she's a real-life ogre." "Exactly. Your talents are wasted in a dead-end job like that, Jenna. It's up to you of course, but please give it some thought." She turned round to face him. Kissing him hard the lips, she slipped her arms round his shoulders. "I've given it thought. I accept! Now why don't you let me thank you properly, Gordon?" Jenna hiked up her dress, and unfastened Gordon's belt. She unzipped his trousers, pushed down his underpants, and his rock hard erection sprang free from its encumbrance. Unable to contain himself any longer, Gordon pulled aside the crotch of her damp panties, positioned himself to her entrance, and pushed himself into her. The soft lips between her legs parted, and she threw her head back in sudden ecstasy as the organist began thrusting himself in and out of her warm body, slowly at first, then building in speed. Outside, a black 4 by 4 had just pulled up in the church car park. John Norris got out of the driver's side and furiously slammed the door shut. "John please, don't do this!" his wife pleaded. "Not in the church!" "Look Patricia, I want to get to the bottom of this. First Gordon angrily accuses me of spreading lies on Facebook. He called me "the biggest shit-stirrer in this church" to my face! Now the chaps at the Rotary Club have frozen me out. They said I've been making sexist jokes and racist comments about Ukrainians! I ask you, when have I ever made a racist comment? I haven't a racist bone in my body! And I've never signed up to Facebook either. Someone is trying to smear my name. If you ask me, Gordon's the one behind it all! Well, we'll see what he has to say, man-to-man." A look of horror swept Mrs. Norris' face. "You can't go in there! I can hear the organ - the choir are in there!" "I don't care if the whole bloody town is in there!" John yelled, a display of anger that was most unlike him. "This has gone too far. I can't believe Gordon could be so vindictive. He'd a bad-tempered sod, but I never thought he'd do this. Libel is a serious offence." He stormed into the church and marched down the aisle, his panicking wife rushing after him. "Alright alright, it wasn't Gordon. It was me!" She grabbed his arm. He halted. "What?" "I did it." John shook his head. "Why are you trying to protect him? Do you fancy him or something? Is there more to this?" "No! No of course I don't! Look, I signed up to Facebook so I could access the church page but I used your name. I know I shouldn't have but, well surely you must know how members of this church treat me? I'd have been blocked immediately!" John's face had gone through several shades of red and was now the color of raw steak. "You, Did what? You've been spreading lies and racist comments using an account with my name? What the hell am I married to?" He walked round the side of the organ. "Bloody hell!" Mrs. Norris shoved him aside, wondering what had shocked him. "That's her! She's the one who's caused all this! The little tart! She's bringing filth and depravity to this church!" John glared at his wife. "I'd say your own venom has done that already, Patricia." He turned and stormed off. "I'm going home. To pack a few things. I'm going to stay at my brother's for a bit. And you, well you can go to Hell." "Gordon, do you hear somebody shouting?" Jenna sighed as she felt his warm cum fill her. "Probably just a bit of rowdy teen behavior outside," Gordon replied with a smirk. To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

We're on BlueSky!  bluegal, driftglass, proleftpodcast.  Join us! Five stages of grief?  How about five stages of MAGA victory, including bargaining, denial, and anger?  Because FAFO isn't just a cute acronym, it's their way of life. Also, Bluegal finds out that Artificial Intelligence can save a life, but may be programmed NOT to save a democracy. And Driftglass remembers when Archie Bunker joined a group with white hoods.  Heh. More at proleftpod.comYou can help us pay for DG's eye doctor expenses athttps://www.gofundme.com/f/help-ease-dgs-medical-financial-burdenBlue Gal's knitting podcast!  https://www.youtube.com/@flangumOur podcast YouTube Channel:  https://www.youtube.com/@ProfessionalLeftSupport the show:PayPal |  https://paypal.me/proleftpodcastPatreon | https://patreon.com/proleftpodSupport the show

Mom and the Neighbor.by Krosis. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the way to school, Ed asked Perry, "So where are you from, originally?"*Long way from here, Ed...not even sure you'd have a proper frame of reference.*"How am I hearing you in my head?"*I told you before, dude, we are one. If you work at it, you won't even have to vocalize for me to 'hear' you.*"Really? Cool." He continued walking. "Hey, Perry?"There was no response. "Perry?""Knock knock!" Eve Doughtry called out, looking in through her neighbor Darla's screen door. Her friend's pretty face poked out from the kitchen."Eve! C'mon in!"She did so, and rounded the corner to find Darla's wide ass pointing right at her as the woman pushed a tray of muffins into the oven. Eve suddenly had a strong urge to flip the woman's skirt up and...She shook her head. And what? Where had that come from? she wondered.Darla stood up and turned around, a vision of brunette beauty, 5'3" and voluptuous. "Lemonade?" she asked.Eve nodded, and they sat at the kitchen table to chat. After shooting the shit about the usual subjects, Eve asked her, "So how's the sex life?"Darla spluttered around a mouthful of lemonade. "Cripes, Eve, that's forward, even for you. Umm...I guess things could be better. We'd been trying for a baby, but no luck. We're kinda losing hope, so there hasn't been much action lately. Oh, why am I telling you all this?" She took in her friend Eve, looking as gorgeous as ever, especially with those huge boobs that had only grown larger after having a child. She sighed, jealous.Eve's eyes bored into hers. "Well, we were a lot closer at one point."Darla blushed. "That was when we were younger. We're both married now.""Hm."Beeeep!"Oh, my muffins..." Darla got up and headed back to the oven.Eve got to her feet as well, unzipped her slacks, and pulled down her panties as she came up behind her friend. After Darla placed the hot muffin tin on the stove top and closed the oven door, Eve grabbed her from behind, one hand moving to Darla's breast while the other went under her skirt."Eek! Eve, what are you...ohh..."Eve's hand slipped into Darla's panties and expertly manipulated her clit. "Lean forward," Eve instructed her, and she did.As she had imagined when she first walked in, Eve flipped Darla's skirt up onto her back and moved her hips forward, nudging aside the woman's panties and slotting the head of her new 3" blue cock between her friend's vaginal lips."Oh my God, Eve, what is that? Oh..." Darla felt what seemed to be a small penis pushing into her wet pussy. "Are you wearing a strap-on? That's so naughty...umm..."Eve's small penis was soon buried inside her friend's pussy, and she pulled back to slam it into her again, making Darla cry out in pleasure. "Take off your blouse," Eve urged her."Ugh...ugh...ugh..." Darla groaned as her friend thrust that hard alien cock inside her. She tried to unbutton her top, but then just gave up and pulled it up and over her head.With her quick fingers, Eve quickly unfastened Darla's bra, freeing her B-cup breasts, and moved her hands to them, squeezing those mounds and lightly pinching her nipples. "Hmm...maybe I'll fill you up with a baby..." Eve whispered into Darla's ear."Oh God!" Darla moaned. "You always know what to say to make me hot, Evie! Fuck me!"She did, pounding her new cock inside her friend's pussy. Soon, Eve felt the stirrings of an orgasm, one much like the squirting ones from the previous night with her husband. She thrust faster, feeling her new cock throbbing as her release approached.All through the previous day and night, Perry's blue sperm had been at work inside Ed's mother. Unable to find an egg to inseminate, they swam on, eventually finding one of her ovaries. Sensing the similarities between that organ and Ed's testicles, and with their need to propagate all-encompassing, they transformed that female gonad, while also increasing the mass of her clitoris and connecting that organ up to her new, blue testicle."Huh!" Eve cried out and thrust hard into Darla's pussy. Her new testicle produced a burst of blue sperm, which shot down through her pelvis and rushed up the shaft of her cock. Her new blue penis ejaculated hot alien seed into Darla's overheated vagina."Oh God...!" Darla cried out in orgasm as she felt the hot liquid shoot inside her. "What is...?! Oh!""Perry!?"*Oh, sorry, Ed, got distracted by something. What's up?*"I was gonna ask what your plans were here on Earth. You just want to be my penis forever?"*Sure, Ed! What more do I need?*Darla lay on the kitchen floor, her body intertwined with Eve's, breathing heavily. She stared at her friend's now 4" blue penis, wondering how that came to be, but strangely not worried about it.Deep inside her, Eve's blue sperm swam, searching...Ed and the Librarian. "So, when can we go fuck Charisma?" Ed whisper-asked Perry in a stall in the boy's bathroom at school. The senior student had tried to telepathically talk to the alien, but it hadn't worked. Perry insisted that he'd get it eventually, but for now he had to at least whisper.*You have to get her alone somewhere...where can we do that?* Perry asked him in his head."I...I dunno...I didn't really think about this very well, did I? If she's not in class, she's always surrounded by her friends. It's not like I can just pull you out and you'll hypnotize all of them...er, can you?"*Let's just stick to one at a time, okay, Ed? Rome wasn't built in a day.*Ed paused. "Rome? What do you know about Rome?"*I know what you know, Ed, now that we're joined.*"So...you know what I'm thinking, at all times?"*Ehh...I try not to listen in too much, but I need to know more about your world, bud. You're my Encyclopaedia Eddica.*The bell rang and Ed headed to class. A couple rows over sat Charisma, the bubble-bodied blonde cheerleader, in a tight top and short skirt, neither of which were appropriate for the school dress code, but her mostly male teachers never complained. Ed sighed and tried to think of a way to get her alone. Eventually, the teacher asked him a question, and Ed looked like an idiot when he had to ask him to repeat it. After that, he concentrated on his work.When the bell rang for lunch, Ed grabbed his stuff and followed Charisma. She would be heading to meet her friends, but in the meantime, maybe he'd have a chance to get her alone! As he entered the busy hallway, he was buffeted by the cross-channels of hangry teenagers, unconcerned about his paltry needs. He hopped up into the air for a better vantage point, spied Charisma heading down one hall, and rushed after her.He was always just a little too slow, getting blocked by people who were crossing in front of him, or stopping outright when they encountered one of their friends. He didn't want to start shoving people...that could get you a bloody nose! Finally, he rounded a corner and she was gone.He heard the library door close and followed, though he didn't know why Charisma would be in there...reading hardly seemed like one of her pastimes.*Now, now, Ed!* Perry admonished him, *Are you making assumptions based on someone's looks?*He could see Mrs. Parker at her desk. The slightly overweight, thirtysomething brunette woman, with her glasses perched on her hawkish nose, would be the epitome of a dour old librarian after another 20 years or so, Ed thought. He stepped up to her. "Um, Mrs. Parker? Did Charisma come through here?"She looked up. "The cheerleader? Heh...she wouldn't come in here by choice, Ed.""See?" Ed subvocalized to Perry."See what?" Mrs. Parker asked him.*Hmm...I think we have something she can see, Ed...* Perry suggested.Suddenly, Ed felt desire surge through him, and his eyes roamed Mrs. Parker's stacked form. Her breasts might actually be larger than his mom's, he thought. He took a quick look around and, seeing no one else in the library, unzipped his jeans. "Have a look at this, Mrs. Parker."She couldn't help but stare as Perry slithered out from Ed's zipper hole. "Umm...oh wow..." she moaned, her eyes going glassy."Is there somewhere we can go to be alone, Mrs. P?"Soon, in the library office, the curvy librarian was sucking Perry into her mouth. Ed groaned, enjoying the feeling of his new cock being fellated. Once again, he marvelled that he could feel the alien appendage as if it was his own penis."Let me see your boobs, Mrs. P." She quickly unfastened her sweater and blouse, and let those bra-covered EE-cups out to play. "Oh damn..." Ed moaned as she unfastened the bra and those massive mammaries sprang out."Let me..." she moved back and surrounded Perry with her boobs, moving them up and down the alien penis' shaft."Holy shit..." Ed had never felt anything like it, and Perry was long enough that she could continue to suck him on the downstrokes.After a few minutes of this, she got up, pulled down her skirt, hose, and panties, and bent over her desk. "Please..." she urged him.Ed was super hard now, and moved up behind her. Perry, eager as always, contorted and adjusted himself so that he could insinuate himself into the woman's wet pussy."Oh..." she moaned, "you're so big, Ed..."Once Perry was inside her, Ed started to thrust, making them moan. Ed realized that Perry had done something to him to get him into the mood to fuck her, as he hadn't really thought of the older woman as sexy before. There was no stopping him now, though! He continued to thrust his blue 10 inches into the wanton woman."Ugh! Ugh! Oh, so deep..." she moaned and orgasmed. "O-h! Oh, Ed, I may never be able to have sex with my husband again after you..."Ed felt proud at hearing that, though it was all Perry, not him, he realized. Well, he reconsidered, he was the one moving his hips, so maybe he could take a little credit? He continued to thrust, and reached around to fondle her massive boobs."Mmm..." she moaned as he pawed at her mammaries. They had grown during each of her two pregnancies. They caused her chronic back discomfort, but nobody could beat her in the breasts department. It seemed that Ed liked them, so she was happy.Then she frowned. There was something bothering her...pregnancy? Why was she thinking about that? She shook her head...she'd come back to that thought later, after this hot sex.Ed's fingers finally found Mrs. P's nipples and pinched them lightly. She gave a little squeak and came again, and this time it pushed Ed over the edge into his own orgasm. He thrust into her hard and fast, feeling his balls boil up a load of cum, which pleasurably rushed up his shaft and splashed deep inside the woman's unprotected reproductive system."Oh...!" she cried out, her waning orgasm ramping back up upon feeling Ed's hot cum fill her depths. Her spasming cervix was deluged by potent alien cum.Finally, Ed collapsed upon the woman's back, gasping. He could feel Mrs. P's pussy, still cumming as it sucked the last few drops from Perry. When she stopped vibrating, Ed pulled out, and blue-tinged semen splashed onto the office floor. "Oops! Sorry..." he offered."It's...okay, Ed..." she breathed, slowly coming back to reality. Then she stood up. "Oh! I...we...oh no! What did we do, Ed?!"Ed had re-zipped and was heading out the door. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, Mrs. P; our secret." He gave her a wink and then went to go grab some lunch. Darla watched Eve's back as her old friend and neighbor walked back home. She couldn't believe what they had done together, Eve taking what seemed to be an actual blue penis and fucking Darla right there in the kitchen! It had been incredibly hot, especially when Eve suggested that she might even impregnate Darla, as bizarre a statement that was.Her clit itched a little, and she gave it a scratch through her skirt. She shuddered at how pleasurably sensitive it was.Deep inside the woman, Eve's blue sperm had already found Darla's waiting egg and quickly laid claim to it, one alien spermatozoa piercing the cellular membrane and injecting its genetic payload inside. Under The Bleachers. The next day, Ed once again tried to get Charisma alone during lunch, but she managed to find her friends first. The clique of cheerleaders giggled at each other over some stupid thing.*C'mon, Ed! Let's find someone else.* Perry suggested."Mrs. Parker again?" Ed considered, heading toward the library.*Naw...someone new, guy. Don't you want to 'play the field'?*Inspired, Ed headed out to the playing field, but everyone there seemed to be in groups. Then he had an idea and went under the bleachers, where he found a couple of seniors: Cora...something, and another girl he didn't know."Ugh...our secret spot isn't so secret anymore...seeya, Cora," the other girl said as she tossed the remains of her cigarette and trudged off the other way.Cora, an elfin, auburn-haired retro grunge chick, with the requisite flannel overshirt and oversized jeans, regarded Ed as he approached. "Ed, right? You smoke?" She took a puff from her cig."Umm...no," Ed responded. She knew his name?"Then what'cha doin' here? This is the unofficial smoke pit." The school had closed the official one the previous year. She held out her half-finished cancer stick to him.Ed paused only a moment before he took it and pulled a drag off of it. Then he started hacking up a lung.Cora grabbed it back with a smirk. "Poser." Then she paused, looking at his crotch. "What the hell is that?"Ed looked where her eyes were pointing. Perry was writhing within his pants. "Perry?""Who's Perry?" Cora asked, unable to tear her eyes away from Ed's undulating crotch. "Jeez! What's going on in there?"*Woo! What was that? I feel good...lemme out to play, Ed!*"The nicotine, maybe?" Ed could feel Perry straining at the confines of his jeans. "Okay, just a sec..." He unfastened his pants and Perry sprang out, hard and pointing at Cora."Holy shiuh..." The grunge girl's mouth hung open as Perry gave her his alien whammy. "I gotta...gotta have that in me, Ed..." She said and pulled off her overshirt, showing off her braless, undershirt-covered A-cup breasts, her poky nipples quite visible through the thin fabric. Then she was pulling her oversized jeans off, revealing surprisingly small hips and slim legs. Why had she been hiding her cute, sexy body with those bulky clothes? Ed wondered.She pulled down her undies and bent over, grabbing onto one of the bars that held up the bleachers. "Get that huge thing in me..." she commanded him breathily, and he stepped forward to grab her hips.Perry dipped down and slithered between her legs, making her gasp. "Oh, wow, that's...uh...oh shit..." She bent over more as Perry's head slipped between her vaginal lips, and Ed thrust in, his passage aided by her suddenly wet pussy. "Ahh fuck..." she moaned, "you're so fucking big..."As Ed thrust into the mesmerized teen, he pulled her shirt up and reached under to massage her small breasts. He felt her pussy grip him tightly, and she moaned as he stimulated her boobies.Perry noticed mucus around Cora's cervix, and remembered the lady doctor from the other day, as well as their neighbor Darla when Eve, Ed's mom, had fucked her with her new blue cock. Darla had mentioned that she was trying to get pregnant, and Eve's blue sperm had found an egg waiting inside her...that was it! He was figuring these humans out, bit by bit.Ed had found Cora's nipples and pinched them between his fingers. "Uh! Uh!" she cried out, and came again."Oh shit..." Cora's grasping pussy pushed Ed over the edge, and he thrust hard inside the slight girl. Pleasure rushed up his oversized cock, and then he blasted blue alien seed deep inside her.As she felt her fertile insides inundated by hot sperm, her nipple-induced orgasm was supplemented by a full vaginal one, and she moaned in pleasure, her needy pussy urging Ed's cum deeper inside her unprotected reproductive system. Finally, she slumped forward, barely able to hold herself up."I...I gotcha...you're in trouble!"Ed turned and saw the girl that had left earlier, now pointing her phone at them, clearly recording. He pulled out of Cora, making her gasp at the sudden evacuation, and turned to the newcomer."You...you keep away with that...thah..." The girl dropped her arms to her side, her jaw dropping open as her mind was ensorcelled by Perry's writhing form.*I got her...your turn, Ed.*My turn? Ed wondered, and then he stepped forward. "Gimme your phone." She handed it over, and he quickly stopped the recording and deleted it. When he turned back to the girl, she was on her knees and reaching for Perry.Unlike Cora, this girl had larger breasts, probably a C-cup, he figured. She wore a t-shirt and shorts, and he thought that he recognized her from the soccer team. She was pretty, not beautiful, but she had nice curly brown hair and an athletic figure. She took the first few inches of Perry into her mouth, and Ed moaned at the feeling of her warm mouth around his cock. Despite having just cum inside of Cora, he was soon ready to go again.There was no way to lay down under the bleachers without getting dirty, so he had this new girl do as Cora had, grabbing hold of a supporting bar and bending over after shucking her shorts. As with Cora, her juicy pussy allowed Perry easy access to her sodden depths.Ed was amazed that two women's vaginas could be so different. Cora's had been tight but slick, but this girl's pussy was looser, but also somehow less slippery, her vaginal walls pulling at the skin of his cock as he thrust and withdrew. Both were amazing...Perry had been right to suggest fucking a variety of women, Ed realized. He pulled up her shirt to get at her boobs, though he had to unfasten her bra first, and then his hands were mashing her more substantial breasts between his fingers, making her gasp in pleasure.Cora...he looked around. She was laying on the ground, unconscious, near the supporting bar he had fucked her against. "Did you knock Cora out?" he asked Perry subvocally.*Yeah...controlling more than one at a time's a strain, Ed. I brain-blitzed her so you can do this one...what's her name?*Ed considered. "You know what? I don't even care." And he thrust faster into the athletic girl.*Good for you, man! You'll be a player in no time!*"Oh God..." the girl moaned, "...oh God..." Then as Ed thrust one last time and buried his cock as deep as possible inside her, she cried out, "Oh God!" as she felt Ed's hot sperm bathe the walls of her vulnerable pussy, the sensation causing her own orgasm to wash over her. "Uh! Uh! Uh!"Then the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. Ed's empty stomach growled, but his cock felt damn good, and that was what mattered, he figured. He pulled out, causing the girl to gasp and sink to her knees, Ed's white semen splashing out and soaking the ground between them. Then he zipped up and headed back to class. In the afternoon, a census taker arrived at Ed's house. Eve invited the woman in before seducing her and filling her up with a load of blue sperm. The woman left on unsteady legs, her body inundated with alien seed, swimming deeper into her vulnerable insides...Spring Break, and a visit from extended family.For the rest of the week, Ed was unable to get the primary object of his lust, the cheerleader Charisma, alone. He made do with any other senior students or teachers that he could find, though, filling them up with his alien sperm, unmindful of the danger. Then Spring Break started."Okay, when Erin's family gets here, we're going to have you..." Ed's mother Eve pointed at her husband Bob, "in Ed's room with Dave. I'll be sleeping with my sister in our room, since I haven't done that in forever, and then the kids will take the living room, like normal."Ed scratched his head. Normally Aunt Erin and Uncle Dave would take his room. This changeup was odd."I don't wanna sleep on the floor, Eve," Dave told her.She gave him the look that told him that she was done arguing. "Just blow up the air mattress, Bob; it's only one night.""Humph." When his aunt's family arrived, Ed was surprised to see that his strawberry blonde cousin Julie had grown even taller in the last year, about 5'10" now, though the 18-year-old's willowy figure had filled out as well, becoming more substantial in the hips and bust. He waited for Perry to say something about the gorgeous young woman, but he had been strangely silent for most of the day. Ed hoped that the alien parasite was finally realizing that his family was off limits. Next door, Eve's neighbor Darla had invited another neighbor, Mrs. Chen, over for tea. Darla's new 5" blue cock, overstimulated by the other woman's orgasming pussy, ejaculated alien seed deep inside her. Across town, the curvy librarian Mrs. Parker was sawing her new 5" blue cock into the juicy pussy of Mrs. Abed, the co-owner of the local convenience store. Bags of chips rained down from the shelves from their frenzied coupling. After a sumptuous dinner, the extended family sat down to play some board games. Ed and Julie's team stomped the parents at Pictionary, but then the brother-in-laws Bob and Dave destroyed everyone with their ability to remember useless facts in Trivial Pursuit. Finally, it was time for bed.The taller Julie took the couch, of course. Ed had mixed feelings when he found that he had grown just enough that he could no longer fully stretch out on the love seat. After some uncomfortable adjustments, he finally fell asleep. Erin, Ed's Aunt, woke up to find what she thought was her husband sidling up to her, his hard cock poking into her thigh. "Oh, Dave..." she moaned, and raised her leg to allow his penis to slip between her thighs. Her bedmate slipped lower, and she could feel that hard cock start to press between her vaginal folds.Then she remembered that she wasn't at home, and had gone to bed with her sister. "Wait, wha?"Then Eve thrust, burying her now 6" blue penis deep inside her sister's pussy.Erin gasped, feeling pleasure blossoming from within her. She moved a hand to her partner's chest and found her sister's substantial breasts. "Wha? Evie? How?""Shush!" Eve responded as she started to thrust in and out of her sister's well-lubricated pussy.Erin moved her hand down, between her sister's thighs, and felt the impossible cock there. It wasn't a strap-on dildo; there was no belt or harness. Everything felt unreal...was she dreaming? she wondered. She felt Eve's fingers move her hand aside so that she could thrum her sister's clit. "Oh..." Her nipples were so hard under the fabric of her nightie...she lay back and enjoyed what her sister was doing to her, the craziness of it not fully registering in her conscious mind.Soon, she felt her orgasm rise from her clitoris and where that wonderful cock slid along her most private of places. "Oh, Evie...Evie...Unh!""Yes.." Eve hissed, and thrust deep. Her own orgasm rushed up through her cock and injected blue sperm inside her orgasming sister's pussy.Erin's eyes flew open as she felt that amazing cock throb, and then hot cum splashed deep inside her. That sensation took her orgasm and rebounded it through her body. Her back arched in pleasure as her cervix spasmed open, allowing her sister's alien sperm to seep through into her fertile, forbidden depths. "Uh! Uh! Uh..." "Perry?" Ed couldn't sleep. Julie's breathing was regular now, so he figured it was safe to talk.*Oh! Hey, Ed!*"You didn't answer me all evening. Were you sleeping?"*Naw...I gotta make sure things are progressing well, y'know?*"Progressing?""Who are you talking to? Are you on the phone?" Julie asked. A light shone at him from the couch."Ack!" Ed cried out, covering his eyes against the sudden glare."What...is that?"Oh no! Ed realized that Perry was moving. "Don't look, Julie! I'm not decent!" He moved his hands down to try to cover up, but Perry slipped out of Ed's underwear and thrashed his blanket off."Oh my god! Is that your penis..." The light flipped up to illuminate the ceiling as her phone fell to the carpeted floor.Ed froze. "Julie?" He couldn't see, as the beam had been right in his eyes and now it wasn't. He blinked, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the gloom, and then he felt her grab his cock."Julie, no! I mean, Perry, no!" Ed hissed. "She's my cousin!"*Mother this, cousin that! You know what, Ed? I think you need to expand your horizons!* With that, Ed felt his cock get harder as a rush of desire roared through him."Oh no..." Ed moaned as Julie took Perry into his mouth. "Julie..." She grasped his shaft and stroked, making him feel tremendously good as he lay back. Then she took her mouth off of him and he felt her climbing on top of him. "No..." Then Perry was slithering up inside her.*Mmm! Some yummy blood up in here! Munch munch munch!*Ed raised his head. "Oh shit! Was she a virgin?"*Nope! I had no problem getting in. The blood seems to be coming from further inside.*Julie was on her period, Ed realized. Well, at least there was no way that he was going to get her pregnant...He paused. He had been fucking women every day since Perry had arrived, without a condom...why hadn't he even considered that he could get those women pregnant? Was this Perry's doing, or was he just that dense?*Fuck fuck fuck!* Perry urged him.Julie was grinding herself down on him now, having finally been able to take all 10 inches of him inside herself. Ed raised his knees, grabbed his cousin's rounded hips, and lifted her up and down upon his cock."Huh! Uh! Oh..." she moaned, feeling Ed's huge member filling her, unlike her boyfriend with his mere six incher. She pulled her t-shirt off, setting her B-cup breasts free, and now that Ed's eyes had adjusted to the scant light from her phone flashlight reflecting off of the ceiling, he saw that they were amazing, pale and round, with small, dark areolas. He leaned forward to take one into his mouth."A-ahh!" Julie cried out as he greedily sucked. "Careful! They're really sensitive at this time of the month, Ed."He switched to licking at her nipples instead. She rode him harder."It's...so deep..." Julie moaned. Then she stopped moving. "Oh my god...it's...pushing...ow...!"Ed stopped moving as well. "Perry? What're you doing?"*I'm peckish for period, Ed! Yummy!*Ed didn't know enough about female anatomy to realize that Perry had forced his way through Julie's cervical opening and was now in her womb, consuming all the excess uterine lining that was sloughing off. All Ed knew was that Julie was in pain. He reached down and flicked at her clitoris while he continued to lick at her nipple.After a minute she relaxed. "It's...better now..." she whispered, and then she began riding him again. "That felt so strange, almost like losing my virginity again, but it's feeling...good...oh..."Ed could feel her pussy gripping him tighter and knew that he wasn't going to be able to last much longer. "Can we be...kissing cousins?" he asked her."Mmm..." she moaned, and moved forward to kiss him passionately. As her tongue speared into his mouth, he felt his balls give up their contents. His cum rushed up his lengthy shaft and was injected directly into her uterus."Umm!" Julie screamed into his mouth as she came hard, her body shaking in extreme pleasure as Perry spewed hot alien seed into the deepest recesses of her body. They found one of her ovaries within minutes and began the transformation process, just as their compatriots had done with several other women over the past couple of weeks.In the morning, Julie woke Ed up, excited. "My period's all gone! I should come visit you every month, Ed!"Ed looked around worriedly and then laughed, glad that nobody had overheard that.After breakfast, both families gave each other hugs and Aunt Erin and her brood headed home. What a crazy night, she thought as her husband drove them home.Deep inside her womb, her sister's blue sperm penetrated her vulnerable egg. The fertilized ovum would implant itself into the lining of her uterus the next day.To be continued in part 3, by Krosis for Literotica

The dorks dive into the horror tropes of Duskmourn! You know the drill by now - mechanics first then we dive into the card image gallery. And Chewie finds a new word that makes him happy. Heh, boilerbilges. Mechanics: https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/feature/duskmourn-house-of-horror-mechanics Gallery: https://magic.wizards.com/en/products/duskmourn-house-of-horror/card-image-gallery Come join us in the future! The show is live on Thursdays around 8pm(ish) Eastern time on Twitch Become a Lifeguard on Patreon! – www.patreon.com/themanapool Podcast RSS Feed: https://themanapool.libsyn.com/rss YouTube: www.youtube.com/TheManaPool The Deep End: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDeepEndTMP Twitch: www.twitch.tv/themanapool Discord: discord.gg/7da7T6s Twitter: @TheManaPool BlueSky: themanapool.bsky.social Threads: @TheManaPool Email: dorks@themanapool.com Support TMP on Humble Bundle! – www.humblebundle.com/store?partner=themanapool Intro & Outro Music: Diamond by Swift – https://open.spotify.com/artist/0vAs5HIBkUPbuoN5b5GWTE

How late is too late for checking out after checkout time? Missy feels this one in the gut. In male news, Nut Talk reaches new heights as we "take to the Internet" for bathing advice. Missy works through the final days of renting the beachhouse. And Amy starts a September Reset. All this on more. Heh heh heh.

Eugenio Suarez goes deep for the second time in three games to key the D'Backs to a sweep of Boston. Correspondent Gethin Coolbaugh reports. ((NOTE pronunciation of Eugenio is ay-oo-HEH'-nee-oh))

Setting off to find the mysterious child predators, the gang are surprised to be accosted by actual child predators. Still, if Moog or Klaudia even have kid gloves, they definitely already killed them, so let's do this.Dicey Bastards is a hilarious actual play comedy adventure where comedy writers go head-to-head in D&D 5e. How hilarious? Hoo boy. Heh. You wouldn't believe me if i told you. So hilarious. Come hang out with us and watch us bend the rules of Dungeons and Dragons to breaking point. Featuring MK Gibson, Drew Hayes, Rick Gualtieri, Robert Bevan, EM Kaplan and Steve Wetherell. Check us out at www.authorsanddragons.com or follow us on https://www.facebook.com/groups/authorsanddragons. You can even support us on www.patreon.com/authorsanddragons and get access to our Discord features and bonus content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/authors-dragons-comedy-dnd-podcast--5624719/support.

Time's a funny thing…here I am waiting to eat some dinner. But hours from now, perhaps even years, you might find yourself sitting down to listen to this episode and awaiting a different meal of your own. Breakfast, perhaps; or even lunch. And yet both of us, wherever we are – WHENever we are – know that we likey to eat some yummy food. Heh. Sometimes this big blue marble we call home just makes me smile. On today's episode we've got a heap of tech that don't make much sense at all, some real religious goofball stuff, and a bonus baby project. Hey thanks DB! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium - You ain't seen nothin yet! Ohhh baby you just ain't seen nothin yet! Grab video episodes and more at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks.Follow us on Instagram: @YKSPod and TikTok: YourKickstarterSucksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

(Heh. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.) Night Vale has come up with this amazing “ride share” program, and it even has driverless cars! Of course, the ride doesn't take you anywhere near where you wanted to go, and the cars are only “driverless” because ghosts don't count. Or do they? Doors are locked for... The post Binary System Podcast #420 – WTNV #251 “Detours”, plus Logan (finally!) first appeared on Pixelated Geek.

We're not gonna sugarcoat this one, folks. Jess and Felicia found some corny (and horny?) fun in this one, but Nirav spiritually died while watching this film. Stick around, in a few weeks he will be reborn when we watch DOA! I guess you could say these vampires... suck. Heh. Welcome to Video Game Movie Hell! Nirav, Jess, and Felicia are watching every video game movie ever made in chronological order (really). Watch on YouTube (censored), or on Spotify or our website (not censored) for free. Check out all the ways to watch along at https://gamebusterspod.com !

On our latest podcast, we chat about the episodes of Coronation Street that were shown between the 1st and the 5th July 2024 (Episodes #11,301 - 11,306). Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... We thought that putting Nick and Toyah together as part of what up to that point had been a really engaging cult story was a bad move, but it turns out that was nothing compared to what Corrie had up its sleeves for poor Toyah this week. Seriously, why does everything have to get so depressing? Definitely not fans of this week's developments! At least there were moments of levity in some of the other stories. Shona wagging off work in an attempt draw Roy out from his self-imposed prison was great fun, and we loved Steve, Cassie and Tim's capers with Tommy Orpington's bust too. (Heh heh... "Bust") And at least it seems like the Shuttleworths at war story is over for now too and the pair can go back to being nice to each other again. Every cloud, eh? Not a whole lot in the way of Corrie news this week, but we do have a bit of a chat about the news that Thelma Barlow has come out of retirement for a role in in a 20-minute short film. Now can we just get a 20-minute return to Weatherfield for Mavis, please? We'd take 15..! We round off the podcast with more of your feedback. Street Talk - 00:10:51 The Kabin - 02:32:25 Feedback - 02:40:32

Episode 191: Not So Blurry Creatures Show NotesSummary: Photographic evidence of cryptids often looks taken with shaky hands or poor cameras. In this day and age, with iPhones and improved cameras around us all the time, you'd think clear photographic evidence would be everywhere. In a nod to our fellow podcasters Luke and Nate, many of these photos of Bigfoot and even UFOs remain “blurry creatures.” However, the Bible paints an unmistakably clear picture of creatures and entities in the spiritual realm. We can see them through the lens of Scripture, a more reliable source due to its divine inspiration and historical accuracy. Despite the skepticism surrounding these creatures and entities, let's look at some not-so-blurry creatures!This episode Is brought to you by the following Bible Mysteries Podcast Premium Subscribers or Seekers:Jessica Thompson, John Knox, Robert McDonald, Heather Meeks, and Chanda FiskNotes:Serpent: נָחָשׁ nāḥāš (naw-khawsh') - serpent, snakeNun, Chet, Shin (Seed, Fence, Destroy)וְהַנָּחָשׁ “and the snake” - Vav, Heh, Nun, Chet, Shin (Nail, Breath, Seed, Fence, Destroy)The very name of the serpent foreshadows him being destroyed by Christ on the cross. Though he is the accuser of the brethren, he is fenced from harming the saints.Lionlike men: אֲרִיאֵל 'ărî'ēl (ar-ee-ale') - meaning uncertain(CLBL) possibly lion-like(BDB) possibly two sons of Ariel of Moabsatyr: שָׂעִיר śāʿîr (saw-eer') - he-goat, buckas sacrificial animal satyr, may refer to a demon possessed goat like the swine of Gadara (Mt. 8:30-32)Scriptures:All Scripture references are from the King James Version of the Bible. 2 Corinthians 5:6-8, 2 Peter 1:16-21, Genesis 3:1, Revelation 12:7-9, Revelation 20:1-3, Genesis 6:4, Genesis 6:7-12, 2 Samuel 23:20-22, Psalm 22:11-18, Job 39:9-12, Isaiah 34:13-14, Leviticus 17:7, Job 40:15-24, Job 41:1-7, Psalm 74:12-14, Revelation 13:1-7, Takeaway:Creatures may appear “blurry” in photographs, but the Bible is clear that there are things in the natural and spiritual realm that we either don't understand or cannot see. Could some creatures be genetically manipulated hybrids that can step in and out of the spiritual realm? Is that why we have never been able to capture them? Perhaps they can step through portals at their will. One day, God will reveal the answers to His saints, but until then, we walk by faith and believe the Scriptures. God will make all things beautiful in His time!Links:https://www.blueletterbible.org/index.cfmInteractive church locator for those looking for a fellowship that teaches certain truths - https://rockharborchurch.net/grow-connect/church-locator/Bible Mysteries Podcast Visit our Websites: https://biblemysteriespodcast.com & https://utbnow.comListen to our Podcast: https://biblemysteriespodcast.comBe a Premium Podcast Subscriber: https://biblemysteries.supercast.comSupport the Ministry: https://secure.subsplash.com/ui/access/BDJH89Contact Us: unlockthebiblenow@gmail.comFollow Us: https://www.youtube.com/c/BibleMysteriesFollow Us: https://www.facebook.com/utbnowFollow Us: https://www.instagram.com/biblemysteries/Follow Us: https://twitter.com/biblemyspodcastFollow Us: https://truthsocial.com/@biblemysteries

Nothing But Trouble is so bizarre that it's hard to believe it exists. The brain child of Dan Aykroyd, it is a menagerie of his wildest ideas and characters. And, since he wrote, directed, and produced it, there was nobody on set with enough clout to have him rein it in a little. Ghostbusters this is not. Despite that, Aykroyd should be commended for going all in on his ideas. When your film involves a prosthetic nose shaped like the tip of a penis and two ghastly looking grown men covered in crud and oil and wearing diapers, it's clear you've committed to the bit. Nothing But Trouble is a singular vision. Whether you think it works or not—more than likely not—is up to you. Critics, for their part, hated it, sentencing it to 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Audiences were apparently also baffled by it. Nothing But Trouble is one of the largest box office flops of all time. It grossed less than $9 million on a budget of $45 million. Hey, hey, ha! Ho ha! Heh heh heh heh! Hoola, Hoola, Hoola! The Boola Boola Boola! Look who's got the front seats to the Mexican hat dance now! Now, sit back, tour Judge Alvin "JP" Valkenheiser's house of horrors with a King Crispy Pilsner from Deschutes Brewing, and get yourself up a couple of dogs! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Bling Blake, and Chumpzilla are riding the harrowing rails of Mr. Bone Stripper! This Week's Segments: Introduction/Plot Breakdown – All they wanted was a little getaway. All they got was nothing but trouble! (0:00) Lingering Questions – Is this the oddest movie we've ever done? (35:14) The "Mr. Bone Stripper" Trivia Challenge – I challenge the field to trivia about the movie. (43:32) Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We finish Objection! Flops with the worst gift the 90s ever gave us Pauly Shore in Jury Duty! (50:36) And, as always, hit us up on Threads, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week's episode! You can find this episode of Hops and Box Office Flops on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Podbean, Spotify, Acast, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Vurbl, Amazon Music, and more!

Intuit's Dave Raggio shares why SMB MediaLabs doesn't own inventory, how it prioritizes privacy for its customers, and the reason consumer and CPG brands are turning to Intuit's data.  Episode TranscriptPlease note, this transcript  may contain minor inconsistencies compared to the episode audio.[00:00:00] Damian: I'm Damian Fowler.[00:00:01] Ilyse: and I'm Ilyse Liffreing[00:00:02] Damian: and welcome to this edition of the current podcast.[00:00:05] Ilyse: This week, we're delighted to bring Dave Raggio to the podcast. Dave is the vice president of S& B Media Labs, a B2B media network owned by Intuit, which is of course known for business products like TurboTax, QuickBooks, Credit Karma, and MailChimp.[00:00:22] Damian: Now Dave developed the idea of SMB Media Lab, which leans on the first party data from the millions of people who use QuickBooks, and it provides small businesses with the intelligence they need to reach their customers across channels like audio and CTV.[00:00:38] Ilyse: We start out by asking Dave about the origins of S& D Media Labs.[00:00:42] : It really came from honestly my personal frustration, in trying to reach SMBs for my, what I'm calling my day job. So, I was hired four years ago, at Intuit to lead QuickBooks acquisition marketing. And I actually still hold that position today. Um, my entire career has [00:01:00] been consumer brand. So I was with North Face before this.[00:01:02] Um, spent a lot of time agency side, working on a variety of clients across CPG and e comm retail. And when I got to, into it, um, I tried to essentially apply the same data sources and tactics that worked very well for me in the, in the consumer world. And it was met very quickly with the reality that SMB data is very hard to find, and when you do find it, the accuracy is just not great.[00:01:28] So, you know, I have a friend, um, that works in the agency that me that at the top you have enterprise level data, which is pretty high quality at the bottom. You have your consumer data, which is abundant and high quality, but between there's a big void and that's pretty much where all S and B data lives.[00:01:49] Um, so it started off. Kind of, it's just a joke internally that I really wish there was a company like QuickBooks that I could partner with and [00:02:00] buy media through that would allow me to find not only the scale of audiences that Intuit has, but also the depth of knowledge about how those, how those businesses are operated and run.[00:02:10] And then that joke kind of became a realization that it is a need for other advertisers that Intuit could very much fill and very uniquely fill as well. Just considering kind of. The breadth and depth of information that we have, um, on, on our small business owners. Um, so that was the start of it. Um, but of course, you know, we wanted to make sure that we were doing it in a way that was beneficial to our customers, um, and done in a privacy safe way.[00:02:38] So that was kind of the start of the journey was just the realization that we had something that advertisers would be interested in, but we also wanted to make sure that it was something that benefited our customers as well.[00:02:47] Damian: That void that you talk about in the middle between enterprise level data and consumer data is quite surprising, isn't it? That there wasn't anything there for those small businesses. I know that 99 percent of all businesses are [00:03:00] SMBs. So that's a huge, uh, yeah, that's a, that's a huge amount of, uh, data that's not being used.[00:03:09] So was it a surprising moment when, when, when you go, when you saw that and you thought, Oh, this is an opportunity.[00:03:15] Dave: Yeah, I, you know, there are small pockets of data where you can get very narrow in, it's just not scalable. So that was the sort of challenge. So you can go to a lot of individual professional sites. But the reality is the world of media is not built around the business that you run, it's built around you as a person.[00:03:31] So stitching those two parameters together, because, you know, as QuickBooks growth, We're looking for specific types of business problems. And, you know, a lot of these small business owners are not active on professional networks. Um, if they have profiles there, they're not looking at them on a regular basis or updating them.[00:03:51] Um, so they, they kind of become. In the shadows, like the S and B part of the data and the targeting capabilities and the need state from the business that they [00:04:00] run sits behind their sort of consumer profiles. So I think it was a surprise when I first joined, but. Logically, after a little while, I was like, okay, that makes sense of why we're not able to find the business traits and qualities that we are able to.[00:04:18] Damian: Yeah, that makes sense. The[00:04:20] Ilyse: Now, how would you go about like describing the value of these small businesses and the data that their advertisers are trying to use to reach this audience?[00:04:31] Dave: Yeah, um, so great question. And there's, there's a couple of different layers of sort of knowledge that we have on our, on our customer base, and we're not unlocking all of those just yet. So we want to, again, going back to the want to do what's right by our customers, we want to make sure that. All the information that we're collecting is something that they would expect us to collect, that they have full control over their ability to participate in this, and that we're only partnering with advertisers that, um, you know, have the best [00:05:00] intent for, for our customers.[00:05:02] With that, uh, we are layering on top of ad buys, data that seems to already exist in the market, but is much more accurate. So that was one of the sort of uphill battles that we've had in the early stages of this. So things like industry, age, revenue, employee count, these are things that on the surface appear to exist in other third party data sources, but You know, again, being on the other side of the buying of this one, I see how wildly off some of those data sources can be and the assumptions that they have about a small business.[00:05:34] So what we're adding on to that is just a very, very, um, deterministic one to one knowledge and accuracy that didn't exist. So we eliminate a lot of waste that comes with using some of the other data providers or even just kind of doing broad market advertising. So that's kind of the main value prop.[00:05:54] That said, we are working with our legal and privacy team. And our [00:06:00] executive sponsor is actually the head of privacy. So that should tell everyone a little bit about how serious we're taking this. But we're also thinking about with our customers, what value can we add to them if we continue to go into what we're calling transactional type data, if we're able to go the next step deeper.[00:06:16] And the reason for that is every business. on the surface may look the same in an industry size employee count, but how they run their business could be very different. So if you're a construction company, that's in the same region as another construction company, roughly same revenue, roughly same employee count doesn't mean that you invest completely different in marketing.[00:06:37] And you may be, Think about your supply chain very differently. What that allows us to do is actually find need states for our customers and be able to pair them with the advertisers that might be able to serve, um, solutions for them in those needs states. And so that's kind of the next wave that we're working on.[00:06:52] It's something that we haven't done yet, but we're hoping to unlock for our advertisers.[00:06:57] Ilyse: Yeah, that's definitely a good example. [00:07:00] Um, I feel like, In a, such a new kind of company like this, and I know you refer to you guys as like a retail media network, although you're not exactly a retail media, um, so it's, it's, it's definitely hard to kind of describe, I would assume, to other B2B businesses exactly what to do and how your like first party data And you essentially use QuickBooks, um, primarily, right?[00:07:27] Um, how they can use that data to their advantage. Is there, like, another example that you can give how, um, advertiser would use your, your media network in order to, like, reach their audience? Heh[00:07:43] Dave: you mentioned that, that, you know, we've, we've been using the term retail media network, but we're, we're very much not a retail media network. So we do not have owned and operated inventory and that's by design. Um, you don't start a business because you're passionate about bookkeeping in most cases.[00:07:55] Um, so we're leaning into as a company, AI and, and, [00:08:00] um, automation to make sure that we're trying to reduce the amount of time that That a customer has to spend in our platforms in order to, um, to get their work done. So throwing ads in there will slow that down. It's not something that, you know, someone that's already paying for subscription would, would want to have that said, there are potentially ways that we've been looking at that. Provide additional value to that. That said by not having owned and operated, I think that we accidentally fell into what I'm calling kind of the next wave of retail media network. So we are more of an audience network that can be layered on to any part of your ad buy that's programmatic. So we have partnerships with the trade desk, with physio, with DV360, with meta, and we We are agnostic to inventory source.[00:08:44] We just allow the advertiser, whatever their KPIs are across the board to just get more efficient and more focused on just the right people. And that's been, um, again, slightly different than what most retail media networks are going, but attending a bunch of [00:09:00] conferences, that seems to be really the hot topic of your own and operated inventory is great.[00:09:04] It is the last. bottom, bottom, bottom of the funnel that you're able to, um, that you're able to really leverage. We are able to address full funnel campaigns with that audience targeting.[00:09:18] Damian: That's very interesting. What kind of advertisers in this space are keen to take advantage of this opportunity to reach these millions of small businesses?[00:09:29] Dave: Yeah, it's so that's been one of the larger surprising things when we started this up. So we built this assuming insurance, banking, credit cards, those would be the The sort of the very close in some of the software SAS providers. Um, that has been very true for us that that's where we're seeing a lot of interest, but we've had a lot of consumer brands coming to us.[00:09:48] There seems to be a wave of interest in small business as a segment for a lot of advertisers. So we've had one of the largest CPG brands approach us. I worked at Method for [00:10:00] a while, so I know firsthand that shipping a bottle of hand soap is very expensive, and it's only a 3 bottle of hand soap, but it's mostly water and fragile, so you're upside down in your e comm costs.[00:10:12] So the area where e comm works really well for CPG brands is concentrates in large formats, and the normal consumer do not want that. It is very profitable to go that direction. Um, so they reached out to us, same thing with one of the largest beverage companies reached out to us cause they want to be in more restaurants, more independent restaurants than the chain restaurants.[00:10:30] So it's been a little surprising across the board of, you know, who's really approached us. Um, and, and some of these non traditional sort of B2B, as you would think about it are really the ones that have a ton of interest.[00:10:42] Ilyse: yeah I must say. It seems like B2B is on like some kind of upward trending line right now. Um, we are seeing like a, an increase across like all channels, I feel like, maybe. Like, um, maybe that's due to like, I don't know, the rise of like [00:11:00] LinkedIn or like, um, just more businesses coming forward. And being created in general, maybe the pandemic even, I don't know, it's, it's curious because I do feel like even like channels like CTV, for instance, there's a lot more like B2B kind of marketing happening.[00:11:16] Is[00:11:16] Dave: Yeah. We're seeing the same thing and we're excited that we're kind of showing up at the right time for that. You know, I think our hypothesis on that is, um, very much correct. There was a small business boom during the pandemic, but a lot of advertisers I think have, have started to kind of run out of scale and saturation that they can have amongst the sort of consumer.[00:11:36] And this is an entirely new audience with tremendous spending power that you can talk about different products that you wouldn't want to put, you know, on a Super Bowl spot. You know, the CPG brand is not going to run a large format concentrate ad in the Super Bowl, but there's now a new path and a new audience that is kind of untapped.[00:11:54] And we're also seeing that also in the marketing space. So a lot of the major social networks and ad providers. [00:12:00] Their next target is all the S and B's because they've got so much share of wallet amongst the enterprise level brands that their, their next growth area is going to have to come from the long tail of S and B's.[00:12:10] Um, so we're happy because we truly feel like we are the most accurate and best way to reach those S and B's. Um, so we're, we're hoping that, that, you know, everything kind of comes together.[00:12:20] Damian: Is there a, is there some kind of nuance in terms of the channels that advertisers trying to reach businesses use versus, you know, more traditional, you might say consumer channels? I mean, they're obviously consumers. are also business owners and business owners are consumers. But is there a different sort of way that you're thinking or the advertisers are thinking about leveraging, um, the data that you're providing?[00:12:48] Dave: We've not seen that. So kind of going back to the challenge that brought this whole thing to life is that The the line between them as a small business owner and them is just a person [00:13:00] is almost indistinguishable between the two of those. So The nice thing is because it's programmatic wherever they happen to be We're able to find them and able to serve them relevant advertising at that point I think that Um, it really the, the majority of channel selection will come down to the objective of the campaign.[00:13:22] So we had a major global logistics company that was very focused on brand advertising and we were running them on connected TV with Vizio. We were running them on some digital video formats. We had another SaaS provider that was very focused on cost per leads. And we. Much heavier on the social and programmatic, uh, display side of things.[00:13:41] So it's really more of what's the objective dictates kind of the channel mix itself. But, um, in terms of are there subtle nuances or specific places we go? Not really. We kind of just follow, follow the sort of, um, friends that we're seeing with the, with those small business [00:14:00] owners.[00:14:00] Damian: Totally makes sense.[00:14:01] Ilyse: Now, you've described SMB MediaLabs as the next wave of retail networks, which is very interesting. I like that kind of quote right there. Um, you've also said it's like a more open network than some others. Can you describe why that is?[00:14:20] Dave: Yeah, so I would say we're not the next wave. I think that we are ahead and riding the next wave. So I don't say that we are defining it by any means, but, um, we were open in the fact that we're not relying on our own inventory. So we can go. Pretty much anywhere. Um, and if an advertiser comes to us and they have a specific DSP that they really want to work with, we can onboard those DSPs if they're not already in our network.[00:14:44] So a big part of our, of our product is really making sure that we have the largest breadth of inventory sources and partnerships available, that we can develop campaigns in partnership with the advertiser and the agencies that actually, um, can [00:15:00] span wherever they believe that their customers are, whatever their objectives are.[00:15:03] So that's, that's the open part. Of what we're doing. Um, and because of that also, like there's just easier capabilities for them to, to measure it because they're already using a lot of the DSPs and platforms that they're, they're using for their normal campaign. So we're not any sort of walled garden that has hidden metrics behind the scene, which I know is also, you know, a challenge for a lot of retail media networks as well.[00:15:26] Ilyse: That's awesome. How do you, going about your own advertising for this network, how are you basically scaling it?[00:15:34] Dave: Getting the word out and, uh, getting people to, uh, to, to try it. So we have had, um, I think we're, we're in, in month eight now, and we've had a number of large advertisers come in the data's, the data and the audience targeting is performing extremely well, that is something that, um, was a concern of mine going in that, you know, a, is there enough people that are interested in S and B's and we already [00:16:00] talked about how that, you know, You know, has been something that we've been able to check that box and say, yes, there is a ton of interest from advertisers across the board.[00:16:07] The second one was, have I convinced myself that our audience quality is as good as it is. Um, and the data that's come in as, as shown that it's, it's performing extremely well, both on brand metrics and on cost per action. So, uh, our goal right now is to just have as many conversations and just do as many tests as possible.[00:16:26] And let the advertiser see how well it performs comparatively to other things.[00:16:31] Damian: I guess the next question would be how well does it perform? You know, what kind of data insights are you getting back to provide to advertisers?[00:16:39] Dave: Yeah, so, uh, we are seeing so we've done some disco studies on brand ones, and we're seeing on average 30 to 40 percent increase in brand metrics, which is huge. That was not that's actually outside of what we anticipated and hoped for on that one. And I think probably the big one was when we've run some cost per lead campaigns for SAS [00:17:00] cloud service.[00:17:01] We cut their CPLs by 75%. So just eliminating the inaccuracy and focusing your spin on deterministic direct connections with those advertisers or with those, with those customers as has worked extremely well.[00:17:18] Damian: Yeah, that's a high fidelity audience. I, I, I like that phrase.[00:17:23] Damian: I guess we have to have a question about ai, right? We have to talk about ai.[00:17:44] Um, you know. In April, Intuit introduced an AI assistant to its core product. Products, I should say, um, in TurboTax. It's going to shorten the time to file taxes, credit karma, users [00:18:00] get personalized financial information advice, I should say, and users can generate marketing content in MailChimp. You know, how are you and SMB Media Labs using AI?[00:18:09] Yeah,[00:18:13] Dave: we built, we are a managed service. So we are doing the buys and executing for the time being. That is something that is very difficult to scale because for us it is kind of core to Google. Make sure that the, that the media that we're buying, not only is targeted, but it's performing.[00:18:29] So there's a lot of optimizations that we want to be able to make recommendations on and act on. Uh, it's hard to do that. You know, our goal is to have hundreds of advertisers. You can't optimize hundreds of advertisers. So there are tools that we are bringing on board that actually use AI to understand how the various campaigns are performing, are able to serve up some sort of triggered recommendations based off of that.[00:18:51] Um, and that allows our team to scale and really make sure that everything that we're doing is. hitting the benchmarks and exceeding the benchmarks that we want them to do [00:19:00] across all of our advertisers.[00:22:09] Damian: One question I guess from that is, you know, the actual marketing of the SMB, uh, the actual marketing of SMB MediaLabs, how do you think about that?[00:22:21] Dave: Uh, well, the marketing of SMB Media Labs is a lot of. Conversations like this. Um, so I'm a little bit on a podcast tour. I am, I'm going to be at Cannes. So we do have a space in the media link to a can where we're going to be having a number of meetings, speaking engagements. Um, it's, it is different enough that it does require a little bit of explanation and, you know, in full transparency, there's an added hurdle that as it stands now, we are a managed service.[00:22:45] So, um, it is. It adds complexity to what a traditional we are not doing the model where we just park our data and anyone can go and pull it like through a marketplace. We still have to control. And that's that's because we want to have the highest bar possible for how we [00:23:00] control our data. So it just takes more conversations.[00:23:03] But, uh, You know, we are doing some programmatic media buying and we're doing some digital out of home in the elevators of a lot of the major agencies in New York City. So we're, we're trying to really focus in on, on both the agencies and the advertisers that would be interested in something like this.[00:23:19] Damian: And that's it for this edition of The Current Podcast. We'll be back next week, so stay tuned.[00:23:24] Ilyse: The current podcast theme is by Love and Caliber. The current team includes Cat Vessey and Sydney Cairns.[00:23:30] Damian: And[00:23:30] remember I'm Damian.[00:23:32] Ilyse: I'm Elise.[00:23:33] Damian: And we'll see you next time. And if you like what you hear, please subscribe and leave us a review.[00:23:38] Also, tune in to our other podcast, The Current Report.

Have you ever done a diet, say restricting carbs or something? I don't know if it's your experience as well, but the moment I decide to cut out carbs the only food I ever think about is full of carbs. “Just don't think about it, Rob.” – Heh….for me, the moment I'm told not to think about something the only thing I can think about is whatever I'm not supposed to think about. Can I get an “amen”?I wonder about that forbidden tree in the Garden of Eden – the one tree the first humans were told not to eat from and I wonder if they had that experience too: “All these fruits are great! They're the BEST!….I wonder what the fruit tastes like on the one we shouldn't eat?” They were in an idyllic environment, so it's hard to say if that was a thing, but it didn't take a very hard push to get them to that tree.This Sunday we'll be reading about when everything got ruined – Gen 3:1-7.How well does a talking snake sit with you intellectually? Is that a hard one for you, and is that easy to accept? I know it's different for different people. We'll discuss the nachash, the snake, on Sunday and consider some possibilities.The text describes the snake as “crafty” – some translations say “cunning” or “subtle”. We usually assign a negative spin on that description, however, a quick word search indicates that it is often used in a positive context, especially in Proverbs. A negative or positive connotation comes down to how that ability is used. What might that tell us about the nature of sin, since the origin of sin is the theme of the text?In the dialogue that follows, the snake asks a question which the woman answers and the snake concludes the dialogue. Read that exchange very carefully. What jumps out to you, if anything? Read the divine command in Gen 2:16-17 – how does the snake's quotation match up with God's words? How do Eve's corrective quotation match up to the original wording? What do you observe about this – what can it teach us about how we view or interact with God's words?The snake suggests that God has been holding out on the humans. He tells them they will achieve something if they take matters into their own hands – what does he say they'll become? How does Gen 1:26-27 reflect on what the snake was offering? What could that tell us about the nature of temptation?Read Gen 3:6 with 1 John 2:16 – what parrallels can you find between Eve's consideration of the fruit and John's warning about what the world offers?I'm really looking forward to this study – I hope you can join us. We'll be observing the communion ceremony after the teaching!Click here for a pdf of the teaching slideshow.

Al and Kev talk about Homestead Arcana Timings 00:00:00: Theme Tune 00:00:30: Intro 00:02:41: Feedback 00:05:56: What Have We Been Up To 00:22:36: News 00:49:30: New Games 00:57:20: Homestead Arcana 01:18:39: Outro Links Fabledom 1.0 Fields of Mistra EA Date Research Story 0.8 Update My Time at SAndrock 1.3 Update Moonlight Peaks Publisher Travellers Rest Switch Version Garden Witch Life Coming to Consoles Southfield Multiplayer Info ConcernedApe Interview Phoenix Labs Statement Little Known Galaxy Overthrown Contact Al on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheScotBot Al on Mastodon: https://mastodon.scot/@TheScotBot Email Us: https://harvestseason.club/contact/ Transcript (0:00:30) Al: Hello farmers and welcome to another episode of The Harvest Season. My name is Al (0:00:39) Al: and we’re here today to talk about cottage core games. (0:00:43) Kev: woooooo (0:00:44) Al: Kevin’s not distracted by writing something in the show notes at all. (0:00:47) Kev: Yes (0:00:50) Kev: Look look, okay, you know, I you see the foghorn leghorn trend on twitter. Oh (0:00:55) Al: No I have not. (0:00:56) Kev: Oh my gosh, I thought about doing it for this show (0:00:59) Kev: but I I I lost uh some of the energy for this weekend, but um, uh, basically (0:01:04) Kev: People have just been putting foghorn leghorn into anime scenes (0:01:08) Kev: Or just like images and just a whole rant of him that he would say and it’s been hilarious (0:01:13) Kev: Like so much (0:01:14) Al: I think, yeah, I think didn’t is the best option there. (0:01:15) Kev: um (0:01:16) Kev: Anyways, I was thought about introing like that, but I didn’t so you’re welcome people (0:01:28) Al: Transcripts for this episode are available in the show notes and on the website and hopefully (0:01:33) Al: they’ll be quicker generating from now on because I have a new iPad which is much faster (0:01:37) Al: than my six-year-old iPad. (0:01:41) Al: I think I ran Transcriber. (0:01:44) Al: That’s what that’s what happens when you spend six years between between iPads is you get an insane (0:01:49) Kev: yep (0:01:53) Kev: oh wow wow okay that’s that’s good that’s faster (0:02:03) Al: insane speed increase so this episode we are probably going to talk about homestead arcana (0:02:06) Kev: we have the technology (0:02:13) Al: It depends on how you do it. (0:02:14) Kev: That’s a game. (0:02:14) Al: It depends on how much kevin has played it. (0:02:18) Al: I have played it, I have opened the game and I have done stuff in it. (0:02:23) Al: I have a save file with a character and I have some opinions. (0:02:24) Kev: Okay. Alright. (0:02:26) Kev: Good opening, Salvo. (0:02:28) Kev: Salvo (0:02:30) Al: So we’re going to talk about that. (0:02:33) Al: Before that we’ve got a bunch of news including a couple of new games and some exciting news. (0:02:43) Al: before all of that, and before what we’ve… (0:02:44) Al: been up to. I want to respond to Johnny. So, was it two episodes ago? Johnny ranted about… (0:02:51) Al: Yeah, it was in the Rusty’s retirement episode. Johnny ranted about Coral Island. He ranted (0:02:54) Kev: Uh, yeah, I’m in the middle of it, okay (0:02:57) Al: about Coral Island, and he said that it’s ridiculous that I’m suggesting that Coral (0:03:02) Al: Island is the standard for farming games. And what I would like to say is Johnny is (0:03:07) Al: right in everything that he says, except… except that’s not what I s… (0:03:09) Kev: He’s right, because wildflowers should be. (0:03:14) Al: said. I did not say that it’s the standard for farming games, or if I did, I didn’t mean (0:03:20) Al: it. What I mean is that Coral Island, the farming part of Coral Island, should be the (0:03:27) Al: standard for farming games going forward. The features that it adds to the genre, that (0:03:35) Al: is how things should be. That is what I’m trying to say. He’s absolutely right about (0:03:39) Al: everything else he says about Coral Island. It is definitely unfinished. I have complained (0:03:43) Al: about this before. (0:03:44) Kev: Hahaha! (0:03:44) Al: . I still think it is the best, if not the second best farming game, personally. (0:03:47) Kev: Well. (0:03:51) Kev: Well. (0:03:52) Kev: Hey, good news, though. (0:03:54) Kev: Being unfinished already IS the standard for ghost games! (0:03:59) Kev: Hahaha! (0:04:00) Al: Fair fair. And it is still to see whether 1.1 will finish Coral Island or not. We will (0:04:01) Kev: Hahaha! (0:04:08) Al: see the betas coming out in a week, I think. (0:04:09) Kev: Okay, okay (0:04:13) Kev: Wait, they’re doing a beta for the 1.1. Oh (0:04:15) Al: They are, yeah. Yeah. (0:04:17) Kev: My good. Oh, wow, nothing evokes confidence like saying we’re (0:04:19) Al: I refuse to play that, though. (0:04:24) Kev: Beta, we’re doing a beta post launch (0:04:26) Kev: a (0:04:28) Al: And obviously, nothing will ever live up to Stardew in its longevity, I don’t think, so. (0:04:36) Kev: Oh, concern date refuses it for anything else to do. So I know that’s foreshadowing. (0:04:41) Al: Well, we’re gonna talk about that later. We’ve got we’ve got stuff. We’ve got news on (0:04:44) Al: stardew. Well, news on stardew who’d have thought it. So that’s, that’s why I wanted (0:04:50) Al: to wanted to point out, I’ve talked to Johnny about this on slack. Anyway, and he thinks (0:04:56) Al: that he, I believe he said what I said is fair now that he understands that it’s about (0:05:01) Al: the farming aspect of things. But I felt it was important to talk about on the podcast (0:05:02) Kev: We don’t want fair. We want reactionary content. (0:05:05) Al: as well. Because I don’t think I’ve been on the podcast for like four episodes now. More (0:05:12) Al: More than that, oh my word, the last episode I was on (0:05:15) Al: was over a month ago. (0:05:17) Al: Wild. (0:05:18) Kev: Wait, was it the one I was on? Was EPUF on last time? (0:05:21) Al: It was. (0:05:26) Al: Wow. (0:05:27) Al: It’s a Cody show now. (0:05:29) Kev: There, well, you know. (0:05:30) Al: Cody was on the last four episodes. (0:05:32) Kev: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh… (0:05:34) Kev: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh… (0:05:36) Al: No, oh wait, yes. (0:05:37) Kev: Aww… Yes? (0:05:39) Al: Wait, have I? (0:05:39) Kev: Have you? Oh… (0:05:40) Al: No. (0:05:41) Kev: Yeah, I was about to make a reference. (0:05:43) Al: I think it’s on my list to watch. (0:05:43) Kev: Okay, well you should. (0:05:44) Al: I can’t remember what… (0:05:45) Kev: I was just gonna say the fans have voted. (0:05:47) Kev: Just like Smormu. (0:05:49) Kev: Um, but, alright. (0:05:50) Al: No, I’ve not seen it. (0:05:51) Kev: Heh, I’ll get to watch it. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh… (0:05:52) Al: That confirms it. (0:05:53) Al: I don’t understand the reference, therefore no. (0:05:55) Al: Right, okay, cool. (0:05:56) Al: So, blah blah blah, a lot of stuff to talk about. (0:05:59) Al: Kevin, what have you been up to? (0:06:02) Kev: Um… (0:06:04) Kev: Non-video… (0:06:06) Kev: It’s been a chaotic week for me. (0:06:08) Kev: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh… (0:06:10) Kev: Um, alright. (0:06:12) Kev: I caught up and finished X-Men 97. (0:06:14) Kev: Hey, guess what? That game is good. (0:06:16) Kev: You know what? We should talk about it sometime. (0:06:17) Al: laughs Imagine that. Foreshadowing! laughs (0:06:18) Kev: Heh, heh, heh, heh… (0:06:20) Kev: Just the thought. (0:06:22) Kev: Heh, heh, heh, heh… (0:06:24) Kev: X-Men 97, very good. (0:06:26) Kev: Heh, heh, heh, heh… (0:06:28) Kev: Let’s all say all that for now. (0:06:30) Kev: I caught up on (0:06:32) Kev: Uhh, well yeah, Smiling Friends. It’s very short so probably since the last time I watched it I binged that. (0:06:39) Kev: Very very funny, very enjoyable. I suggest you go watch it out. It’s Adult Swim, so they’re like 10 minute episodes (0:06:44) Kev: So you can knock it out real quick (0:06:45) Al: Yeah, I haven’t seen this one but it was on my list to watch at some point (0:06:48) Kev: All right, we’ll go do it. Season 2 is ongoing (0:06:52) Kev: They’re releasing new episodes and very excited for that. Like, one should be this weekend, I think? I don’t know. (0:07:00) Kev: Outside of that I’ve been doing a lot of (0:07:02) Kev: my daily grinds because that’s comfort gaming for me, Pokemon Unite. (0:07:06) Kev: Falinks came out and he’s funny and adorable and as great as I’d hoped. (0:07:11) Kev: Umm… (0:07:12) Kev: The game in general is… (0:07:12) Al: Does he split up and beat people up? (0:07:15) Kev: Yes! He can! (0:07:17) Kev: He has two, he has two, uhh… (0:07:20) Kev: So every Pokemon basically has two, like, branches for their attacks that you can pick. (0:07:24) Kev: Falinks has either they all stick together and form a big shield, or they all separate and beat up people. (0:07:29) Kev: And his is united his ultimate move (0:07:32) Kev: The little guys just start spinning around him just just carouseling around him and beating up anyone. It touches. It’s great (0:07:40) Kev: Yeah, I love falling sees fantastic little dude or dudes, let’s see Disney speedstorm (0:07:40) Al: Love it (0:07:49) Kev: The the Disney racing game the (0:07:52) Kev: Wreck-it Ralph season is ongoing (0:07:56) Kev: Boy they’re they’re just getting more (0:07:58) Kev: Money they want money (0:08:01) Kev: because (0:08:02) Kev: They actually split the season into two parts, so you have to buy two passes if you want the premium characters or whatever (0:08:10) Kev: Heart one was Vanellope. She was like the premium character and I bought it because I like Vanellope. Heart two was Sergeant Calhoun the that lady (0:08:19) Kev: The from the hero’s duty game or whatever (0:08:21) Kev: I’m not buying because I don’t care about her that much but the the racetrack from the game and sugar rush is there (0:08:27) Kev: It’s very fun. I like to beat storm still very fun game (0:08:32) Kev: Marvel snap continues to be Marvel snap (0:08:36) Kev: The game’s really big there’s a lot of cards I keep up with it (0:08:41) Kev: I think for I don’t know for better or for worse, but I still play it (0:08:42) Al: I think I’ve given up on it. (0:08:47) Kev: That’s good for you, you know what you’re smart man, yep (0:08:49) Al: It was a period of time for me, I enjoyed it while it was a period of time, but I think (0:08:53) Kev: Yep (0:08:54) Kev: That’s that’s fine. I salute you for that. So those are my daily stuff. Um Ori and the Blind Forest I have (0:09:02) Kev: I’ve gone through that. Are you familiar with that one now? (0:09:04) Al: I’m I’m familiar with it, but I’ve not played it and that’s a metroidvania, right? (0:09:08) Kev: Okay, what yep it is and it (0:09:11) Al: Yeah, I think I heard you talk about it. I think I heard you talk about it on Rainbow Road radio (0:09:15) Kev: Yeah, yeah (0:09:17) Kev: Yeah, you can hear me talk about it there. Well, yeah, I’m just gonna repeat what I said there (0:09:20) Kev: It’s it is a metroidvania, but unlike say Metroid (0:09:24) Kev: Dread or other metroids. It’s not so much combat focused. It’s much more (0:09:29) Kev: Like platforming obstacle focused which (0:09:32) Al: Yeah. (0:09:32) Kev: I think I might have a harder time with. (0:09:33) Al: Oh, interesting. (0:09:35) Kev: Some of them can feel very challenging because you have to (0:09:39) Kev: time your jumps, you have to extend jumps, turn in mid-air, you have to bounce off (0:09:43) Kev: enemies or projectiles. Wild, wild nonsense that they come up with. (0:09:47) Kev: The game is very pretty and enjoyable. I’m still going through it. (0:09:51) Kev: There’s that. (0:09:52) Kev: Speaking of Rainbow Road Radio, the podcast I do with our mutual friend Alex, (0:09:57) Kev: I have, I think like since the last time I’ve been on, (0:10:00) Kev: I played through a lot of the classic (0:10:02) Kev: We’ve been doing good the spring time for jump man. That’s what Alex calls it (0:10:06) Kev: We the original Super Mario Bros. We did the lost level Super Mario Bros 2 and 3 and a world is upcoming (0:10:13) Kev: So I’ve been going through that getting my fresh course in Mario history. I guess what Mario platformers are good shocker. I know (0:10:20) Al: Yeah, I really know (0:10:21) Kev: Lost levels - yeah, go ahead. Oh (0:10:24) Kev: I was just say lost levels is good, but it’s also really hard to mean (0:10:30) Al: yeah I really like lost levels um I found too very funny because it’s it’s (0:10:32) Kev: » Yeah, yeah. (0:10:42) Al: sure it’s a mario game but it’s not a mario game it’s it’s like a skinner a skinner on top of (0:10:44) Kev: That is correct (0:10:48) Al: another game and and it makes it makes it so weird in so many ways right because it’s like (0:10:49) Kev: That is literally what it is, yes, uh, yes you are right it is (0:10:56) Kev: Right (0:10:57) Al: so different to the first one but also so… (0:11:00) Kev: Yep (0:11:00) Al: different to everyone since. There’s so much stuff in this game that never happens again. (0:11:03) Kev: Absolutely (0:11:08) Kev: Yeah (0:11:09) Kev: And it’s and what’s really weird is they some things did stick around maybe not like mechanics or whatever (0:11:14) Kev: But like turnips and shy guys and you know different things like the elements and features floating and all that stuff, right? (0:11:22) Kev: Like I still kept some of that. So I guess they were happy with what came out, but it is (0:11:28) Kev: It’s wild like I can’t think of another example where they you know (0:11:32) Kev: Reskinned a game and they kind of claimed ownership to that and it still stayed but not really (0:11:38) Kev: wild wild nonsense (0:11:38) Al: Well the funny thing is as well, it’s a skinner on top of a game, but it’s also the 5th best selling game on the NES ever. (0:11:45) Al: Like, I don’t think any other skinner box game has ever done that. (0:11:52) Al: Like, that’s wild. (0:11:54) Kev: Yeah, it is. (0:11:55) Kev: I didn’t know that. (0:11:56) Kev: That’s what, that is wild. (0:11:57) Kev: Holy moly. (0:11:58) Al: It’s just so weird. (0:11:59) Al: “It was critically well received for its design aspects and for differentiating the Super Mario series.” (0:12:04) Al: That’s because it wasn’t a Mario game! (0:12:08) Al: It’s a different game! (0:12:12) Al: I mean, I really like it. It’s fun, but it’s really funny. (0:12:15) Kev: Maybe, yeah it is. (0:12:18) Kev: Maybe other things should start doing that more. (0:12:21) Kev: This is how we’ll save the MCU. (0:12:22) Al: I put Spider-Man in every film that he has referenced in the MCU. You know that old film’s (0:12:22) Kev: We’re just gonna copy other movie- (0:12:24) Kev: -put Spider-Man in it. (0:12:29) Kev: Oh yeah. (0:12:30) Kev: Um… (0:12:32) Kev: Wow, that’s great. (0:12:42) Kev: Yeah. YEAH. AHHH. He’s been there. That’s why he knows it. He’s been there. Ah, okay. (0:12:43) Al: alien? That old film’s Star Wars! (0:12:52) Al: And then just make it self-referential so he has to refer to the fact that he’s in this thing that (0:12:56) Al: is like a film that he he knows of. Good fun. (0:13:03) Kev: So that’s all the fun stuff. The unfun stuff. I got laid off this week. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Oh, (0:13:08) Al: Just remember, this is the family friendly episode, no swearing. (0:13:12) Kev: man. So, I mean, you know. Yes, okay. I will not. But it came out of left field. It was, (0:13:27) Kev: and I asked them, because of course when you find out you’re losing your job, you know, (0:13:32) Kev: you’re like, “Is it anything I did?” And they’re very adamant. It was nothing personal about (0:13:37) Kev: me or my performance or whatever, but they just had to get some jobs. (0:13:42) Kev: mine happened to be on that list I was laid off last year as well but that (0:13:57) Kev: was a different scenario because that company was a small startup and basically it collapsed (0:14:03) Kev: it just failed so the whole company died all employees were laid off at the same time right (0:14:12) Kev: so it was very sad because I really liked we all really liked that company we liked (0:14:16) Kev: each other our co-workers and whatnot and at least we were in it together more or less (0:14:21) Kev: right like we all went out to lunch and just drank our sadness away or whatever (0:14:25) Kev: um we’re like this is a massive so the company I worked for directly was a large company (0:14:36) Kev: that’s like headquartered in pencil in pittsburgh different state from where I am and they’re (0:14:40) Kev: owned by an even bigger company, Amor. (0:14:42) Kev: The biggest stinger is just, you know, why me over other people who might be working in similar positions to me, right? (0:14:59) Kev: So like, I can’t help but feel like there is probably some weight of performance issues, but yeah, I mean, I could get into the whole thing. (0:15:07) Kev: like I don’t think it was my performance but like light work was light and ultimately it all just (0:15:12) Kev: money right like they felt like they weren’t getting enough money so i’m they’re just gonna (0:15:16) Kev: get rid of me um (0:15:19) Al: Yeah it’s one of these things where you need to not overthink these things because it could be (0:15:23) Al: for any number of reasons. It could just be first in, last first in, first out sort of thing. You (0:15:24) Kev: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re right you’re right (0:15:27) Al: just never know and it’s not fun, not fun but sometimes stuff like that. (0:15:31) Kev: Yeah, but c’est la vie, um (0:15:34) Kev: But the the silver lining bits one (0:15:36) Kev: I have already been actually I picked up uber as a side hustle just a few weeks ago (0:15:40) Kev: So I can double down on that now. It’s not the obviously not the same level of salary (0:15:46) Kev: I was making right but it’s more than unemployment (0:15:48) Al: Keeps you going. (0:15:49) Kev: Yep, and and because this company is big they I actually got some severance (0:15:54) Kev: pay and stuff like that so I have at least a little to keep me going (0:16:00) Kev: obviously there’s a lot of pressure to find a proper job to get a steady (0:16:04) Kev: paycheck and whatnot but but yeah that’s that’s just how it is sale of me all (0:16:10) Kev: right what about you I hope you haven’t been laid off what it what else have (0:16:12) Al: No, thankfully I’ve not been laid off, I’m still at my terrible job. I’ve not done a (0:16:14) Kev: you been up to (0:16:20) Kev: that’s correct (0:16:23) Al: huge amount of games, I feel like I’ve been procrastinating with gaming in general because (0:16:29) Al: I didn’t want to play Homestead Arcana and the problem is if I’m procrastinating playing (0:16:37) Al: a game for the podcast because I’m not enjoying it, the problem then is that I don’t play (0:16:42) Al: it because I feel guilty when I play different games so I just end up not playing games which (0:16:44) Kev: I built! (0:16:46) Kev: Yea! (0:16:48) Al: is really bad but we’ll get into that we’ll get into that later but what I have done is (0:16:50) Kev: Yea! (0:16:52) Kev: Blang! (0:16:54) Al: I did before I picked up Homestead Arcana because I think we only decided to do this (0:16:58) Al: two weeks ago, I played Let’s Go Eevee because I hadn’t finished that game so I have now (0:17:06) Al: played and finished that game, caught a shiny seal in it, oh boy that was a long slog. (0:17:08) Kev: Okay, yeah (0:17:13) Al: The game I still really like Let’s Go and I think it is one of the best Pokemon games (0:17:17) Al: full stop. I understand why some people don’t like certain aspects of it but personally (0:17:18) Kev: Okay (0:17:21) Kev: Yeah (0:17:23) Al: I think it is one of the best in so many ways. (0:17:26) Kev: Sure sure like I get that like there’s like visually it’s it’s a beautiful beautiful game right absolutely one of the best and (0:17:35) Kev: There’s it’s very cute (0:17:38) Kev: It does a lot of things, right? (0:17:40) Kev: My problem with me is I don’t like the go-catchy (0:17:42) Kev: So, if that’s the core mechanic, yup (0:17:44) Al: Yeah. No, I know. That’s and that’s and that’s what I’m saying. And that’s what I’m saying. (0:17:48) Al: That’s why I think I think that that’s I know that’s why people don’t like it. And I understand (0:17:52) Kev: Yeah, and to be fair, that’s like a completely subjective thing, right? (0:17:53) Al: that. (0:17:56) Kev: Like, I know, like, I think you would maybe fall into this category where a lot of people don’t care much for the battling (0:18:04) Kev: or just grinding endlessly in the other games, right? (0:18:04) Al: Yeah, absolutely. (0:18:08) Kev: So, yeah, that’s completely to taste, but I will say, like, what I see, I think, it is a well-done game. (0:18:16) Kev: It is very competent, technically, it looks very good, and I didn’t–any discourse on it, I didn’t hear about, like, let’s say Scarlet Violet, any technical issues, glitches, or crap. (0:18:26) Al: No, no, I think, I think the most of it, so it’s definitely going through a resurgence (0:18:31) Al: of rose-tinted glasses with people, you know, people who didn’t like it at the time now (0:18:33) Kev: Okay. (0:18:35) Al: like it because that’s just the cycle with Pokemon games, right? (0:18:38) Al: People don’t like it and then they like it because the newer thing is something else (0:18:41) Al: they don’t like, so they have to compare it to just, oh my word, so it’s just the classic (0:18:42) Kev: If you thought that was bad, just wait till we drop NOW! (0:18:48) Al: cycle of Pokemon games but yeah, I think the main thing that people didn’t like was the (0:18:52) Al: catching and I understand that I it’s not like (0:18:56) Al: I think it’s amazing but I like that it’s different I did I don’t like catching in (0:19:01) Al: pokemon games in general I don’t think it’s fun and so doing something different I think is (0:19:06) Al: exciting and fun in being different in and of itself right the whole yeah and I actually think (0:19:10) Kev: I am glad they did something different, I will say that. (0:19:15) Al: that what they did with the legendaries in that game was the best where you have to battle it to (0:19:19) Al: whittle it down and then once you’ve defeated it then you can catch it I think that’s actually (0:19:24) Kev: And that is fun. (0:19:26) Al: and then they ended up doing that later on with raid battles right so now we have the (0:19:31) Al: raid battles where it’s essentially that is you have to defeat it and then once you’ve (0:19:34) Al: defeated it you get guaranteed catch that for me is actually the perfect thing defeat a pokemon (0:19:39) Al: then catch it i’ve never understood oh if you knock the pokemon out you can’t catch it i’m like (0:19:43) Al: why not it’s just lying there just let me throw a ball at it surely this would be the easiest time (0:19:44) Kev: You know what? Well said. Well said. I don’t even need a Pokeball, I can just drag it! (0:19:50) Al: to catch it (0:19:56) Al: yeah yeah yeah um (0:19:58) Kev: The clip looks right there! You know, that is an excellent point. Yeah, no, I can see (0:20:10) Kev: cassette piece you can hear about that on that greenhouse I did (0:20:14) Kev: it has the mechanic where when you say you’re going to catch on a turn the the (0:20:25) Kev: target monster will not die right otherwise it can die normally but if (0:20:30) Kev: you’re saying I’m going to catch you this turn it will not die which I think (0:20:33) Kev: is a clever way of solving that problem (0:20:34) Al: Fine, I’ll play cassette beasts already. My word. I just need to find some time to do (0:20:38) Kev: it’s (0:20:42) Al: that. I will do it. All right. Goodness me. We need to have like a bunch of episodes in (0:20:48) Al: a row that are not game specific game based so I can just play a game without feeling (0:20:53) Al: guilty about not playing a farming game. So I’ve also done there was a bunch of Pokemon (0:20:54) Kev: Heh heh heh heh heh heh (0:21:01) Al: violent events that I’ve done which I’m still enjoying lots of sh- (0:21:04) Al: is in the outbreaks and the I like the raids blah blah it’s fine you don’t need to comment on it (0:21:10) Kev: I’m not, I’m not. (0:21:11) Al: um and um I’ve also picked (0:21:14) Kev: I will say I salute them for keeping the game going. (0:21:19) Al: yeah yeah and they’ve not recycled anything other than like one one seven star raid they’ve recycled (0:21:25) Al: they keep bringing out new ones which is pretty impressive we’re you know we’re what 18 months out (0:21:25) Kev: So yeah that is impressive, I salute them for that. (0:21:30) Kev: Yeah that is impressive, almost two years, yeah. (0:21:31) Al: So, uh, almost. (0:21:35) Al: Stretching it a lot there almost two years. Yeah. That’s why I said 18 months. That’s why I said 18 months Kevin. Oh (0:21:36) Kev: A year and a half! (0:21:38) Kev: Year and a half. (0:21:40) Kev: Look, the next six months will fly by, just you wait. (0:21:45) Al: Sure sure and then in six months, I will say it’s been two years, but I won’t say it’s almost two and a half years (0:21:49) Kev: Okay. (0:21:50) Kev: Now mathematically, if you round, if you’re… (0:21:51) Al: Will I? (0:21:55) Kev: Five, you round up to the nearest ten. (0:21:58) Kev: Alright. (0:21:58) Al: And I’ve just recently picked up Farm RPG which I don’t want to say too much about it (0:22:04) Kev: What is Farm RPGA? (0:22:05) Kev: Tell me, I don’t remember. (0:22:08) Kev: Oh, oh, is there another time you’d like to talk about it? (0:22:08) Al: just now but basically it’s a text-based farming game on mobile so I don’t want to talk much (0:22:15) Kev: Oh, okay. (0:22:21) Al: more about it but it’s a thing that may well be mentioned in the future. (0:22:26) Kev: Yeah, okay. (0:22:28) Al: He says looking at the list of upcoming episodes right next to the show notes all right cool (0:22:38) Al: should we talk about some news because apparently we’re 25 minutes in and we’ve already done (0:22:41) Kev: Already, wow, okay. (0:22:41) Al: an over an over an hour long greenhouse so the first few bits of news are pretty quick (0:22:48) Al: so first of all we got fabled them 1.0 is out now there we go done it is it is still (0:22:52) Kev: Yes! And it was on sale. I don’t know if it still is, but I bought it. It was on sale. Yes! (0:22:57) Al: on sale. (0:22:59) Kev: Uh, yes, for 1.0. Yes, I bought it, I installed it, I haven’t played it, (0:23:03) Kev: but it’s there ready for me to fire. Uh, yeah, I did. Yes. (0:23:12) Kev: James! This is the village builder. Alright, well. (0:23:14) Al: if no one else has covered it by the time i’m done with stars drop vagabond I will do that (0:23:20) Al: but that’s a month away uh next we have fields of mistra um their early access is coming out on the (0:23:28) Al: 5th of august I i this so this this was the one that when it was first announced it was like all (0:23:30) Kev: Okay, let me see. (0:23:31) Kev: Hold on. (0:23:33) Kev: I don’t remember this one. (0:23:37) Al: these high quality graphics and then the the first game they showed they showed it was like pixel art (0:23:43) Al: and were like “I was not expecting pix- (0:23:44) Al: al art” based on all of the images you’ve already put out. It says it’s RPG so presumably there’s (0:23:55) Al: more of a story to it but other than that it just looks like it’s just another Stardew type thing. (0:24:02) Kev: I’m looking at it. It’s Stardew-y. Their aesthetic is different. Like, even from the base art, (0:24:02) Al: so yeah I don’t know maybe I’ll play (0:24:14) Kev: like they’re trying to invoke 90s-ish anime Sailor Moon-looking stuff. I think it’s coming (0:24:20) Kev: across pretty well in pixel art. It is cute. I think it might have a little more personality (0:24:28) Kev: than Stardew, just art-wise. (0:24:32) Kev: I like how there’s 12 marriage candidates and two of them are in shadow. (0:24:40) Al: Yeah, I mean, nothing about it looks bad. (0:24:42) Al: It’s just, nothing makes me go, “I need to play this.” (0:24:44) Kev: Yeah, I get that for sure. (0:24:48) Kev: It does feel like a lot of inspiration from 90s RPGs, like Final Fantasy and stuff like that. (0:24:56) Kev: Just a lot of the animations and things like that. (0:24:58) Kev: the like when they pick up the end of an item that. (0:25:02) Kev: do a little V with their fingers and it’s cute I will say the game looks cute (0:25:07) Kev: all right I don’t see any huge mechanics that make it’s screams that stand out (0:25:13) Kev: from Stardew but it’s a looks like a pretty nice stardew-esque a stardew (0:25:19) Kev: light you can’t we’re gonna coin that sir what is the difference between a (0:25:24) Al: called farming game stop it i’ll ban you from the podcast research story have their 0.8 update which (0:25:24) Kev: stardew light and a stardew light (0:25:36) Al: i’m pretty sure is out now they’ve not actually said it’s out now but i’m pretty sure it’s out now (0:25:42) Al: let’s go with this out now um uh they’ve added more farm buildings um and the ability to build (0:25:51) Al: to move and demolish them. (0:25:54) Al: Barns, sheds, fun times, and lots of other small stuff. Lots of quality of life features, (0:26:02) Al: lots of new content, new creatures, blah, blah, blah. Looks like they’re getting close to 1.0 (0:26:08) Al: if they’re at 0.8. It’s about a year it’s been in early access so far, I think. Yeah, February 20th. (0:26:22) Al: what do I look like someone who plays a game pre 1.0 come on (0:26:30) Al: uh speaking of updates my time at sandrock the 1.3 update is coming 28th of may (0:26:36) Al: and they’re also releasing a monster whisperer dlc which includes new pets (0:26:42) Kev: - Okay. (0:26:45) Al: with a new pet training and battle related content so you’re gonna get your pet (0:26:51) Kev: Oh, sick! A game where animal creatures fight each other? I, I, I, okay. (0:26:56) Al: It’s the ‘Might I’m a Sandrock’ Pokemon update! (0:27:01) Kev: This has, this idea has potential. (0:27:05) Kev: It’s like a lizard with a pumpkin on its back. Oh my goodness. Okay. (0:27:09) Kev: Um, these, some of these animals are really cute. I can’t wait. Literal dog fighting in this one. (0:27:16) Kev: Um… Oh! I was just shooting, Chris. (0:27:16) Al: Yeah I’m still not gonna play it. Moonlight Peaks have announced that they are going to be published (0:27:24) Al: by Exceed which is a part of Marvelous so that’s cool that’s all that’s that’s all the news about (0:27:28) Kev: Yep, that’s (0:27:32) Kev: What is this one I know I don’t remember this one is the vampire life (0:27:34) Al: that one uh yeah the vampire one you’re a vampire or there are vampires I can’t remember yeah no (0:27:42) Kev: Okay (0:27:44) Kev: Says you are a vampire just live the vampire life in a magical town (0:27:44) Al: I know you’re the vampire. (0:27:46) Al: Yeah, it’s got that chibi art style. (0:27:52) Kev: The supernatural dating are you excited boy that that’s that’s an Animal Crossing (0:27:58) Kev: Style that’s what that is (0:28:02) Al: Werewolves, witches, and mermaids (0:28:03) Kev: It feels (0:28:05) Kev: Yeah, it looks cute for somebody who’s big fan of lean a little horror (0:28:16) Al: I’ll probably I’ll probably play it at some point look it’s not about how skated they (0:28:20) Kev: How scary are the werewolves? (0:28:27) Al: are is it for you it’s about how good-looking they are and are they voiced by Ray Chase? (0:28:29) Kev: Well, you… you… what do you think about that? Well, you got me there. You got me there. (0:28:36) Kev: Well, you got me there. You got me there. (0:28:43) Al: If you want Kevin to like something, put Reaching (0:28:46) Al: in it. Traveller’s Rest have announced that they are going to work on a Switch version (0:28:55) Al: after their roadmap is finished. So I think that means probably in many years to come. (0:29:00) Kev: Oh my goodness, that sounds correct! (0:29:07) Al: Like there is no way that they get their roadmap done before next year and if they’re not even (0:29:16) Al: the Switch version until after their whole roadmap is finished, it’s going to be 2027 (0:29:20) Kev: Oh, Switch 2 will be out. (0:29:22) Al: before that comes out. Oh for years! Switch 2 will be two years old by then! (0:29:23) Kev: Switch… (0:29:24) Kev: Switch 3! (0:29:28) Kev: Oh yeah… (0:29:30) Kev: When was the last time a game finished a road match? (0:29:33) Al: Oh well that’s the thing yeah. Stardew maybe? Maybe not. (0:29:42) Al: speaking of switch coming to switch is gardenwood (0:29:46) Al: have announced that they’ll be releasing on switch and xbox and playstation (0:29:51) Al: they didn’t say when but the way that it’s worded makes it sound like (0:29:56) Al: probably the same time as the steam version comes out (0:29:58) Kev: You’d hope so, but it’s vague enough, maybe not. (0:30:03) Al: yeah yeah don’t hold me to that don’t hold them to that (0:30:07) Al: but it’s coming out at the end of this year so I feel like at this point in time saying that (0:30:13) Al: makes the there’s the implicate (0:30:16) Al: the implication is there I think and hopefully they’ve thought that through (0:30:20) Al: and they’ve realized that that would be the implication so therefore that’s what (0:30:23) Al: they’re saying rather than not realizing that would be the implication (0:30:27) Al: I feel like if you’re if you’re if you’re at this point where you’re six (0:30:30) Al: months away from releasing and you don’t and you say oh we’re also coming to (0:30:34) Al: console and you don’t say after the switch steam release I feel like you’re (0:30:40) Al: just asking for people to be a no (0:30:42) Kev: That is correct (0:30:43) Kev: cuz gamers man, I’m looking through the pictures here because I can remember what the game is first like (0:30:49) Kev: First of all, there’s some very cute animals in here. Look at this bunny. It’s just like a dust cloud with ears (0:30:55) Kev: And bees and there’s like little rocks with eyes. It’s very cute. I just feel so bad about this name (0:30:59) Al: The bees are very fat. (0:31:01) Kev: garden which life like it’s (0:31:02) Al: I know. (0:31:04) Al: It’s so generic. (0:31:04) Kev: Madlibs (0:31:05) Kev: Madlibs of generic cottage (0:31:08) Al: That’s a good point. (0:31:09) Al: It’s totally like they’ve just taken genres and shoved them together to make the name. (0:31:12) Kev: - Yup, yup. (0:31:14) Al: Let’s see, it’s a life sim but it’s growing things in your garden and you’re a witch. (0:31:20) Kev: Uh… laughs You can build friendships with the townsfolk. laughs You know what I would like to imagine? I’d like to imagine myself playing south. (0:31:20) Al: There you go, name sorted. (0:31:31) Al: Imagine that. Southfield. This might be the game I’m most excited for. (0:31:43) Kev: It feels like the most unique thing in this space of gaming in a while (0:31:49) Al: I don’t play many early access games but I feel like I might need to play (0:31:54) Kev: They had a demo which felt like it could have been an early access game because it was so big you couldn’t save (0:32:01) Al: - Well, that’s the thing. (0:32:02) Al: Well, that’s the thing. (0:32:03) Al: ‘Cause I listened to you and Johnny (0:32:04) Al: talking about “Southfield”. (0:32:06) Al: Was it you that played it or was it Johnny that played it? (0:32:06) Kev: I played it. (0:32:08) Al: You played it. (0:32:09) Al: I heard you talking about it on that demos episode. (0:32:11) Kev: Yeah. Yeah. (0:32:12) Al: And based on that, yeah, (0:32:14) Al: I just feel like this early access feels like (0:32:18) Kev: I- I can easily see that I- I feel strongly that will be. (0:32:23) Kev: Um, well, o- (0:32:24) Al: which is, and I feel like this piece of news actually encourages me more about that, that (0:32:30) Al: they actually care about how it works, is they’ve said that the multiplayer is not coming to early (0:32:34) Al: access at launch. I’ll just read out their quote. “Southfield was originally conceived as a single (0:32:40) Al: player experience, but as soon as we started playtesting the game, people told us they would (0:32:44) Al: love to share this island with friends. We agree, and that’s why multiplayer has become part of our (0:32:48) Al: roadmap for a while. However, multiplayer engineering is one of the most complex things (0:32:53) Al: things to pull off at a relative rate. (0:32:54) Al: small development team meaning we’ve had to make some pretty tough decisions and one of those is to (0:32:58) Al: not include multiplayer early access launch so I feel like the fact that they realize that (0:33:04) Al: means that well one I suspect they’re probably pretty close to early access (0:33:08) Kev: Yup. Well I mean heck, I agree. I mean like for a game to release a pre-early access demo like that (0:33:10) Al: and two it means that they want they want the early access to be (0:33:19) Kev: and to be that solid like I think they care a lot. Not only that, they say they want to leave early (0:33:25) Kev: access in 2025 right? Which is pretty close. So yeah the early access should be dropping pretty (0:33:32) Kev: soon I imagine. You know what? Like I think it’s cool they want to do multiplayer, I get that. (0:33:38) Kev: I’d be uh… I’d be okay if they dropped the 1.0 without multiplayer because I just… (0:33:45) Al: - Yeah, I think I understand that. (0:33:47) Al: I think I also understand why they would want (0:33:49) Al: to get it in for 1.0, but yeah, honestly, (0:33:53) Al: I would say make that the last thing you add. (0:33:56) Al: If you want it to be in 1.0, make it the 1.0, (0:33:59) Al: like add it in right at the end, like make it, (0:34:01) Al: this is the, like, ‘cause that I think becomes (0:34:04) Al: a really big thing to bring people back. (0:34:06) Al: ‘Cause like we’ve talked about this before (0:34:07) Al: where the problem with early access (0:34:10) Al: is you’re splitting out your release into multiple releases. (0:34:14) Kev: Right. (0:34:14) Al: So there’s less like. (0:34:15) Al: The reason for people to come back, but I think I think if you if you have something (0:34:22) Al: like multiplayer, I think multiplayer is big enough that if you have that as the 1.0 feet, (0:34:27) Al: the big 1.0 feature that brings people back who have previously played it. (0:34:32) Kev: Yep, okay (0:34:34) Al: But we’ll see, but they’ve also said there’s going to be a few features that were coming (0:34:38) Al: later in early access that they’ve moved to the early access launch. (0:34:43) Al: They say to compensate, but I’m like, I don’t think. (0:34:45) Al: You need to compensate for that. (0:34:46) Kev: No, they really don’t (0:34:46) Al: I don’t think anybody care. (0:34:48) Al: Like some people, some people care, but like it’s early access. (0:34:50) Al: What are you going to do? (0:34:51) Kev: Yeah, and like I can’t stress how much of a game it feels like there is plenty in there (0:35:00) Al: every time they post something about this game I’m more excited for it like the different crops like (0:35:06) Kev: I mean, that’s the core concept of the game, absolutely ridiculous and it’s great. (0:35:06) Al: there’s one that you can eat that makes you go on fire and stuff like that it’s just absolutely. (0:35:20) Kev: I love being a gun drop guy. (0:35:24) Kev: Stay wibbly, flop in the Southfield team, that’s how they sign off, I like that. (0:35:26) Al: Yeah well that’s the thing they’re doing everything right right they’re doing things well they’re (0:35:32) Kev: They are doing it. (0:35:34) Al: doing some different things while still adding to like the stuff that we like so I am I’m (0:35:42) Al: all for in for this. Speaking of doing everything right Stardew Valley we have an article with (0:35:54) Al: an interview with… (0:35:56) Al: concerned ape about stardew valley and I just want to pick out (0:35:59) Kev: We learned where the CONCERNED comes from! (0:36:04) Al: I want to pick out just a couple things couple quotes from this article to talk about (0:36:09) Al: so the first one is they say barone that’s concerned ape it’s called eric barone barone (0:36:15) Al: now works with the team on stardew valley’s more technical aspects and he wanted 1.6 to focus on (0:36:20) Al: technical tweets and tweaks and nothing more side note I remember him saying about that when he (0:36:26) Al: was coming he was like it’s mostly going to be stuff for mods and that’s how that turned out (0:36:31) Kev: Uh-huh. Thank you! (0:36:33) Al: the quote continues but then he began to dread what fans might think if he didn’t go all out on (0:36:38) Al: yet another update i’m a little bit sad about this I have like mixed feelings on this I think (0:36:43) Al: the way that this is worded makes it sound like he felt he couldn’t do an update that (0:36:47) Al: didn’t include a bunch of new content and I think that’s sad (0:36:50) Kev: - Yeah. I mean, I just think like, (0:36:53) Kev: so I think that’s pretty much the case (0:36:56) Kev: and I’m starting to get the feeling concerned ape (0:36:58) Kev: is like very, well, I mean, not just starting, (0:37:01) Kev: like I think it’s been apparent. (0:37:02) Kev: He’s a very perfectionist-esque person, right? (0:37:07) Kev: Where he’s, or he puts a lot of pressure on himself, (0:37:10) Kev: let’s say, right? (0:37:11) Kev: He’s very demanding of himself and his work, right? (0:37:14) Kev: Like I think the other example I can point to (0:37:17) Kev: is Sakurai in Smash Bros, right? (0:37:21) Kev: You went to insane levels to make those games amazing. (0:37:24) Kev: And they’re incredible, don’t get me wrong. (0:37:25) Kev: But like, I don’t know if you heard, (0:37:27) Kev: at one point Sakurai went into the office (0:37:31) Kev: with an IV drip because he was feeling sick, (0:37:33) Al: yeah I yeah I suspect that concern date probably has a healthier work-life balance (0:37:33) Kev: but he still wanted to work. (0:37:39) Al: is is what I would say (0:37:39) Kev: Hopefully, hopefully, right? (0:37:42) Kev: That’s, I just don’t want to go to that, of course. (0:37:43) Kev: Right? Like that’s the extreme. (0:37:45) Kev: I hope he doesn’t get to that point. (0:37:45) Al: yeah yeah nobody should ever get to that point if you if you find yourself on an ivy drip in work (0:37:53) Al: that’s the point to say you’ve gone too far right you probably should have you’ve probably gone too (0:37:58) Al: far a couple years earlier right this isn’t the point where you’ve gone too far but this is the (0:38:03) Al: point to realize that you’ve gone too far because that’s ridiculous so I think then there’s another (0:38:08) Al: quote later on from concerned ape and he says once I open once I reopen the book on stardew (0:38:15) Al: I always have a hard time closing it again because I always want to add more things make it better (0:38:21) Al: make it cooler make people happy it’s exciting every single thing i’m adding i’m thinking about (0:38:26) Al: how people are going to play this and talk about it and love it it’s going to be part of their (0:38:31) Al: expedience. It could make a memory that they might… (0:38:34) Al: That’s a special thing. It’s hard for me to not want to do that. (0:38:38) Al: So when I read the first bit, I was like, “Oh, I really hope he’s not doing this because he feels he has to.” (0:38:43) Al: Then I read the second bit and went, “No, he does have to. His brain won’t let him stop.” (0:38:47) Kev: Yep (0:38:51) Kev: Yep, right and like again our Sakurai the thing that Sakurai example is an extreme example (0:38:57) Kev: But I think it’s the same sort of like mental route right where it has to be (0:39:03) Kev: Exactly how they want it to be or whatever (0:39:06) Kev: And that can be a dangerous road. So, you know, I just hope he’s taking care of himself. That’s the main thing, right? (0:39:12) Kev: Like clearly he’s finding success. He’s making money. So, you know, I’m not worried about that (0:39:20) Al: yeah there’s there’s another there’s other bits in the article which i’ll post um you know because (0:39:26) Al: people might find it interesting um but uh one other thing just quickly is that he there’s a (0:39:33) Al: hint that maybe there could be another update coming um that would have input from the team (0:39:40) Al: that he’s created around uh around stardew because it’s it’s now not just him working on it he’s got (0:39:46) Al: more people doing it, but he kind of debates, he (0:39:50) Al: basically debates whether he could actually do that or not because like could he actually (0:39:56) Al: let people do it without then getting involved himself and he’s you know trying to you know be (0:40:02) Kev: I’m going to say, “No, he can’t.” (0:40:03) Al: like oh yeah there is there is there was one point i’d remember this at the time nearly two years ago (0:40:12) Al: now there was a tweet from him replying to someone so much of his news is just like posting random (0:40:18) Kev: three word tweets (0:40:18) Al: replies to people on Twitter. (0:40:20) Al: So someone asked him two years ago, June 2022, “Will Stars You Get Future Updates?” (0:40:28) Al: And he replies and says “1.6, yes, but it’s mostly a modding focused update, (0:40:33) Al: makes modders lives easier. There will be some new content but it won’t be huge.” (0:40:36) Kev: Things that aged poorly (0:40:39) Al: And then he says “1.6, who knows? 1.7, who knows?” (0:40:46) Al: So yeah, I think that I really hope. (0:40:50) Al: he does it because he likes it and because he wants to not because he feels like he needs to and (0:40:54) Kev: Like, I’m sure he likes it, like, these aren’t mutually exclusive, right? (0:41:00) Al: you’re you’re you’re right I just I don’t I want him I yeah I know I that’s just my point (0:41:06) Kev: Yeah, I know I get it, right? (0:41:06) Al: I i don’t want him to feel like he has to because he has given us enough I don’t care what other (0:41:11) Al: people say he has given us enough in this game right like if he wants to do more do it absolutely (0:41:14) Kev: Absolutely, like, well, here’s the thing, I don’t think anyone will ever say that he hasn’t given us enough in Stardew. (0:41:20) Al: because people require it oh no there will be some people because some people (0:41:24) Kev: Well, okay, well, yeah, you’re right. Okay, well, okay, the vast majority of people, right, the general, like, of course, there’s always exceptions and outliers, but I think the general discourse, I’ve never heard anyone say otherwise about Stardew. (0:41:27) Al: there’s always some stupid people (0:41:40) Kev: But, I think the bigger problem is going to be his own inner voice. (0:41:44) Al: Let’s see if Haunted Chocolates of the Year ever actually releases. (0:41:44) Kev: That’s my concern. (0:41:46) Kev: But, we’ll see. (0:41:46) Kev: Just don’t… (0:41:48) Kev: Stay tuned for our “Concerned About Concern Day” segments. (0:41:58) Al: So our last piece of news before, we’ve got a couple of new games, but the last piece (0:42:01) Al: of news before that is some news about Phoenix Labs, which is the developer of Faefarm and (0:42:08) Al: Dauntless. (0:42:09) Al: They’ve announced that they’ve cancelled all of their projects, except… (0:42:14) Al: I don’t think we have… over a hundred people is the kind of number I’ve seen from sources (0:42:19) Kev: How many are we talking? (0:42:22) Kev: Ooooh, that’s a lot. (0:42:29) Al: but I don’t think we have any concrete numbers. (0:42:34) Al: But yeah this is interesting on multiple levels. (0:42:36) Al: So one, interesting that they’re like “oh the only two things that we’re going to continue (0:42:41) Al: doing our Dauntless and Fae Farm. (0:42:44) Al: Right, okay, I didn’t realize Fae Farm was successful. (0:42:49) Al: Two, their statement talks about them being live service games. (0:42:54) Al: I don’t think Fae Farm’s a live service game. (0:42:58) Al: Like they have updates that they’re doing but that’s not what live service is, right? (0:43:09) Al: And obviously it’s really sad that a bunch of people have been laid off. (0:43:12) Al: Obviously it goes with. (0:43:14) Al: I don’t know what to say but I need to say it anyway. (0:43:15) Kev: yeah so uh clearly right like should I say my piece okay this yeah I mean like obviously i (0:43:21) Al: Yeah, go for it. (0:43:25) Kev: feel bad for them right and like yeah yeah like I i of course I get it get into all that like it’s (0:43:26) Al: Anti-Capitalism rant. (0:43:28) Al: Anti-Capitalism rant. (0:43:33) Kev: I just want to share the like I forgot to mention earlier so when I got laid off this earlier this (0:43:39) Kev: week um first of all it came out of left field I didn’t get a two weeks notice just then in there (0:43:45) Kev: you an extra two weeks of pay but working out right now and obviously like that sucked in like (0:43:51) Kev: even just trying to process that that moment right um but the really sucky part came uh (0:43:58) Kev: came just a bit later so it was around lunch time when they called me in and they they let me know (0:44:03) Kev: or whatever and gave me paperwork yada yada and so I went the first thing I did was just go out (0:44:07) Kev: because I hadn’t had lunch yet I went to go out grab a sandwich and kind of process my own thoughts (0:44:12) Kev: at that moment, right? So then I went back in… (0:44:15) Kev: to the office and started going around talking to some of the people I was (0:44:20) Kev: friends with and such and just letting people know and getting phone contact (0:44:24) Kev: numbers and things like that, right? But then this is what killed me, like as I (0:44:31) Kev: was sitting at my desk after sitting down getting ready to pack up my stuff (0:44:35) Kev: the guy who fired me who was in charge that he comes up to me and he says okay (0:44:41) Kev: I need you to leave the building like right now like my god (0:44:45) Kev: Goodness like I didn’t respond at that moment. I was just I was still such in shock, but I think I just like okay (0:44:50) Kev: Wow the the (0:44:53) Kev: insensitivity of that right and just (0:44:56) Kev: Well, it feels so bad and this this again (0:44:59) Kev: This is a very big company so clearly Phoenix Games or whatever this thing is called (0:45:04) Kev: fairly large for having being able a Phoenix Labs being able to fire hundreds of people right like I’m sure they weren’t very (0:45:13) Kev: sensitive about those layoffs either. (0:45:15) Kev: I’m guessing they aren’t, but… (0:45:15) Al: No, you can’t you can’t be when there’s that many people you’re laying off like not not (0:45:19) Kev: Exactly, right? (0:45:21) Al: if you’re going to do it like that right like it’s just not possible. And apparently some (0:45:22) Kev: Right, exactly, right. (0:45:24) Kev: And so that’s just… (0:45:26) Al: some people were laid off like apparently according to one of insider they were planning (0:45:32) Al: on announcing one of their games in three weeks and so there’s a bunch of people who (0:45:37) Al: have been for the last couple of months

  The Show Notes   SGU! Eclipse! Texas! Woah! Intro How much should pain cost? Interesting Fauna      - Indonesian macaques and their tools. Heh. Now What's Ted Cruz Done?      - iHeartRadio's Shady Super PAC Contributions Ask George      - Bar Music in Nashville? from Chris in VA Religious Moron of the Week      - Julie Green Tell Me Something Good      - 40-year promise kept to see the eclipse Live in the Garden & Musikfest Show close .........................   Terpsichore is Here   https://georgehrab.hearnow.com https://georgehrab.bandcamp.com ...................................  SUBSCRIBE! You can sign up at the Geologic Podcast page or at Subscriber.GeorgeHrab.com where you can learn more about the perks of being a Geologist or a Geographer. If you've already subscribed, stop by Subscriber.GeorgeHrab.com to check out the archived content that we at the Geologic Universe are rolling out in phases. As always, thank you so much for your support! You make the ship go. ................................... Sign up for the mailing list: Write to Geo! A reminder that the portal to the Geologic Universe is at GeorgeHrab.com. Thanks to Joseph Kolasinski. Check out Geo's wiki page, thanks to Tim Farley. Have a comment on the show, a Religious Moron tip, or a question for Ask George? Drop George a line and write to Geo's Mom, too!

Mary Moran (@hailmaryfoodofgrace) went to Le Cordon Bleu and did “food stylist” and now loves a walk up food truck or taco cart. We talk old food, making pasta all the ways and going to a Ramen Con. She has her first children's book - VITA GANG MYSTERIES and it's available everywhere. You will love this ep. Heh. Andy Bonus at the end. Fun.  Donate to The Dork Forest if you like the show. The paypal is my email jackie@jackiekashian.com and venmo is jackiekashian. Links to everything is at www.dorkforest.com or www.jackiekashian.com THERE IS NEW MERCH: BEES TSHIRT and BEANIES. I'm Made of BEES. Are you? www.JackieKashianStore.com is the direct. www.jackiekashian.com and www.dorkforest.com have so many other things.  Extra TDF / standup and a storytelling album are available here: https://thedorkforest.bandcamp.com/   Lots of stuff here: https://www.youtube.com/@JackieKashianInc And it's @jackiekashian on all the social mediaz. Audio and Video by Patrick Brady Music is by Mike Ruekberg #applepodcasts #spotify #amazon #youtube #tiktok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bec Charlwood (@charlbecwood is a comic from Sydney AU and has a new special! “Bi-Polar Baby”) likes ALL THE CRIMES. Murder, romance, cons, and a long talk about “catfishing.” Heh. I know what I don't know. Andy explains US Southern catfishing at the end. Donate to The Dork Forest if you like the show. The paypal is my email jackie@jackiekashian.com and venmo is jackiekashian. Links to everything is at www.dorkforest.com or www.jackiekashian.com THERE IS NEW MERCH: BEES TSHIRT and BEANIES. I'm Made of BEES. Are you? www.JackieKashianStore.com is the direct. www.jackiekashian.com and www.dorkforest.com have so many other things.  Extra TDF / standup and a storytelling album are available here: https://thedorkforest.bandcamp.com/   Lots of stuff here: https://www.youtube.com/@JackieKashianInc And it's @jackiekashian on all the social mediaz. Audio and Video by Patrick Brady Music is by Mike Ruekberg #applepodcasts #spotify #amazon #youtube #tiktok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices