Theme Time Radio Hour Archive » Theme Time Radio Hour

(The sounds of rain falling) It's night time in the big city Rain is falling, fog rolls in from the waterfront A night shift nurse smokes the last cigarette in a pack "Curious about what the weather looks like? Just look out your window, take a walk outside."

(Sounds of sirens in city) It's night time in the big city The moon goes behind a cloud   A truck drops off tomorrow's newspapers

(restaurant noises) It's night time in the big city A styrofoam coffee cup rolls across the street Two sailors get out of a cab "The world of liquid libation, booze, sauce, hooch, white lightning, fire water, hard stuff, pick me up ,gin and juice, moonshine, canned heat."

(car noises) It's NIGHT in the big city somewhere a car alarm goes off a woman walks barefoot, her high heels in her handbag “Tonight we're going to head out to the field of dreams, schemes and themes.”

(diner noises) It's night time in the Big City pizza parlor is locking up a drunken security guard drops his flashlight "Full of caffeinated dreams, schemes, and themes"

(prison noises) It's night time in the big city A truck driver runs a red light A strange quiet man practices tae chi in a park "The Big House, the brig, the clink, the coop, the gray bar hotel, the hoosegow, the joint , the jug, the pen, the pokie, the slammer, the stir"

(subway noises) It's night time in the Big City a nightshift nurse smokes the last cigarette in her pack a married couple has a late night snack

(talking at a wedding) It's night time in the Big City a man buys a pack of gum, steals a nail clipper 2 pairs of sneakers are strung over a phone line It's the month of June and that means church bells are ringing all over this great land of ours. Strap yourself in and get me to the church on time!

(shouting - boxing match) It's night time in the Big City a woman watches her neighbor through binoculars a cat knocks over a lamp

It's night time in the Big City angry prostitutes fight over a street corner a man gets drunk and shaves off his moustache Time to open up the fire hydrants and have a party in the streets, because it's summertime

It's night time in the Big City outside the dogs are barking a woman walks barefoot, her high heels in her handbag The most beautiful things on earth

(rain) It's night time in the Big City the wind picks up from over the bay a delivery boy makes a wrong turn "Today we're gonna talk about the endless gray ribbons of asphalt that crisscross this country. So strap yourself in, put the peddle to the metal, and listen."

(coins) It's night time in the Big City a guilty man goes home to his wife it's time to make the doughnuts "Get rich quick themes, dreams, and schemes"

(fire) It's night time in the Big City an ambulance races though downtown an off duty cops parks in front of his ex-wife's house This is Theme Time Radio Hour, and there's Hell to pay

(sirens in city) It's night time in the Big City a trail of perfume follows a girl leaving a cheap hotel a man wakes up in an alleyway Welcome once again to Theme Time Radio Hour. This week the eyes/I's have it. Whether they're blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes, ya got pink eye or red eye. If you're an eyesore, or if you're walleyed, we got the song for you.

(barking dogs) It's night time in the Big City newlyweds make love on the roof a ringing phone goes unanswered Get off the couch, get yourself a bowl of water, and heel.

It's night time in the Big City a light drizzle starts to fall an anxious lover waits by the phone They say that good fences make good neighbors (Frost) and good friends make good music

It's night time in the Big City a woman in a red gown throws out her cell phone a man sleeps with a gun under his pillow (Mr. announcer who are you?) howdy everybody this is Bob Dylan tell me the station I'm listening to the xm network, satellite radio how about telling a time to meet it's time for theme time radio hour and what's the weather gonna be? it's cold and fatty and it's raining. It's going down to 30 degrees tonight. I don't know what it's like where you are but that's what it's like here. "What would the radio be without a disc jockey?"

It's night time in the Big City a girl goes through the medicine cabinet of the man who brought her home a ringing phone goes unanswered For the next hour we're gonna be playin' music about Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, The Wisdom of Solomon, First Maccabees and Second Maccabees, First Samuel and Second Samuel, First Kings, Second Kings. We're gonna be playing stuff that comes out of the Psalms and the Proverbs. You know all of these. Jonah and Malachi - how come nobody's named Malachi any more? We're gonna be playing music that has something to do with Nehemia, Esther, Job, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. And of course, The Book of Revelations. So gather the family around the radio and hear the good news. Seek and you shall find.

It's night time in the Big City a cab driver curses under his breath roasted chickens hang in the window of a Chinese restaurant

(school room noises) It's night time in the Big City a writer stares at a blank sheet of paper a pet poodle scratches at a window Your school for dreams, schemes and themes. Your university of perversity.  School's now in session.

It's night time in the Big City The air is thick with a chemical a woman takes a shower before going home to her husband Hello...This is Bob Dylan (Bob's Anwsering Machine) On the way to the studio I almost hit a telephone operator with my car. It was a close call.

It's night time in the Big City A night watchman rinses out his thermos clouds cover the top of the Abernathy building. A giraffe can go a very long time without water. But he wants to see a menu right away.

(As Time Goes By) It's night time in the Big City a student faces down a deadline a man with gin on his breath is pulled over America's favorite radio program

It's night time in the Big City an elderly man looks at his wife's empty pillow a nervous thief stands in a doorway Welcome to Theme Time Radio Hour. Leave your iron at the door, 'cause tonight we're gonna be playing music of the highest caliber. We're gonna shoot from the hip and put another notch on our barrel.

(Male voice speaking) a female announcer dresses like me a skeleton puts on a fat suit I gotta put some gas in my car but I don't wanna put it in the tank I don't want to conform to what everyone else is doing I know I won't smoke that night though Below the crypt lies theme time radio hour.

It's night time in the big city A stray dog's eyes glow in a dark alleyway Tex Carbone unlocks studio B

(Santo and Johnny-sleepwalk) It's night time in the Big City A man regrets using a gas station restroom birds are still a couple hours away from getting the worm Your queen size home for themes, dreams and schemes. Please do not remove tag under penalty of law.

(ewww, we're gonna have fun....OOOO Yes!) It's night time in the Big City A woman steps carefully over a broken wine bottle the television is still on (it's a cozy table isn't it? I like it too, yes I do like it. Mmmmmm....delicious.) “Welcome once again to Theme Time Radio Hour, and I hope you brought an appetite. Because tonight we're gonna peruse the musical menu. We got a bill of fare that is truly appetizing. So I hope you're eager to dig in.”

It's night time in the big city Uncle Jim dozes in front of the television A woman puts extra stuffing into a zip-lock bag “I'll let you in on a little secret. We plan the shows pretty carefully, but sometimes I get to yappin' and we don't have room for all the records I pick out.”

It's night time in the big city. A husband plots his escape route. The last train from Overbrook pulls into the station “Welcome to Theme Time Radio Hour – themes, dreams and schemes – where the future influences the present with no regard to the past.”

(Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata) It's night time in the big city A pet poodle scratches at a window The last piece of pie is gone “This is your man in the moon welcoming you to 60 minutes of lunar melodies. In the background, Charlie Parker playing Ornithology. Based on the chord structure of How High The Moon, which tells ya that the moon is far away and love is far away too…Wow, that one sure knocked some heads together!”

It's night time in the big city. A bus driver talks to his only passenger. A sailor on shore leave plays Egyptian Ratscrew with a fallen priest… “It's our first annual Theme Time Radio countdown show. Where we count down the top ten songs as determined by you, the listener.”

(Santa Claus Is Coming To Town – instrumental in background) It's nightime in the Big City A department store Santa sneaks a sip of gin Mistletoe makes an old man sad Eight reindeer land on the roof of the Abernathy building “Well it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And for the next couple of hours, it's going to sound like Christmas too. This is the special yuletide extravaganza edition of TTRH, chock full of Christmas themes, holiday dreams, and jingle bell schemes.

It's night time in the Big City Foghorns bellow in the gloom along the wharf A crying woman in a nightgown can't flag down a cab. "Tonight we're gonna talk about a subject close to my heart, women's names. That which we call are nearest and dearest, those who we love and want to love. Let me quote William Shakespeare to ya: 'What's in a name that which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet' .”

It's night time in the Big City A fat man spits cherry pits into a cuspidor Freshly fallen snow turns gray in the gutter “We got quite a show for you tonight. it's about a subject that everyone's familiar with, and I can talk about it off the top of my head…Gonna be playin songs about hairdos and hair don'ts.”

It's night time in the big city A writer stares at a blank sheet of paper A writer stares at a blank sheet paper

It's night time in the big city Foghorns bellow in the gloom along the wharf Milk in the coffee only turns it gray. “As Albert Einstein once said: I will never believe that God plays dice with the universe. Well, I'm not usually one to disagree with someone as smart as Albert Einstein, but today going to look at the idea of playing dice with the universe, as we examine the world of luck. Good luck and bad luck. Luck of the draw. Dumb luck. The luck of the lady and the luck of the Irish. Lucky ducky and pressin' your luck. We're talking about being lucky in love and tough luck. We're gonna be talking about hard luck and down on your luck. And as luck would have it we're gonna be talkin' about shit outta luck.”

It’s night time in the big city Three homeless men share a bottle around a trash can inferno A rock goes through a window on 12th St.

It's night time in the Big City Freshly fallen snow turns grey in the gutter A waitress returns home, happy to take her shoes off "For the next hour we are going to examine the involuntary, unconscious activity known as laughter. We can consciously inhibit it, but we can't consciously produce it. It's impossible to laugh on command. You can fake an orgasm, but you can't fake laughter."

It’s night time in the big city The last train from Overbrook pulls into the station A man runs out of excuses. “Here we are smack-dab in the middle of February, so we’re gonna talk about that fist sized muscle that lies in your chest, right behind and slightly to the left of the breast bone. Just sittin there between your lungs. It’s a remarkable organ; it works hard for you 24 hours a day.”

It’s night time in the big city Bananas ripen on the dock A number 5 bus breaks down. “Get out your shoe horns, because today we’re going to trumpet those things at the end of your legs.”

It’s night time in the big city A truck driver runs a red light A ringing phone goes unanswered. (Somewhere Over The Rainbow) (Background during intro)

It's night time in the big city The people upstairs are making noise A coyote cowers in the bushes on Observatory Hill

It’s night time in the big city A night watchman rinses out his thermos The last train from Overbrook pulls into the station. “Today we’re gonna hit the road, we’re gonna ride the blinds, and dodge the yard bulls. We’re gonna take a ride on the Redding, transfer over to the B & O, and if we have time, pick up our tickets for the Orient Express. So all you box car tourists, get yourselves out of the roundhouse and hop aboard, as we spend the next hour contemplating the iron horse. It’s not a crazy idea, but we got a ‘loco motive’ and it’s all about trains. In the background, Meade Anderson Lewis; perhaps you know him better as Mead Lux Lewis. He was one of the kings of the honky tonk piano and, like a lot of the great piano players, he used his rockin’ left hand to imitate the rhythm of the trains on the tracks.”

It’s night time in the big city Fog horns bellow in the gloom along the wharf A spinster finishes a jigsaw puzzle “This is Theme Time Radio Hour and last week we played a bunch of train songs. We had so many that this week we’re gonna do it again this week. We’re gonna buckle the rubbers, grease the pig and hook her up and pull her tail because it’s railroad time.” (background intro music is Blue Train/Coltrane)

It’s night time in the big city A businessman kisses his secretary under a street light A drunken security guard drops his flashlight “James Thurber once said, ’you can fool too many of the people too much of the time’ and for the next hour we’re gonna try and do just that…for the next hour we‘re gonna play the greatest records about our favorite half-wits, the fools.”

It’s night time in the big city The rain soaked streets reflect the glare of passing headlights A cab driver tosses a fifty cent tip out the window A woman with a torch stands in the harbor. “Tonight we’re gonna be goin’ from the Bowery to the Bronx, from the East Village to Harlem, from Hudson Heights to Lenox Hill and from Korea Town to Little Italy, from Hell’s Kitchen to Greenwich Village, from Manhattan Valley to Marble Hill, from Midtown South to Midtown itself, from Murray Hill to NoHo, from Roosevelt Island to SoHo, from Spanish Harlem to Sugar Hill, from Sutton Place to Tribeka, from Tudor City to Turtle Bay, from the upper Eastside to the upper Westside, from the West Village to Washington Heights, from West Harlem to Yorkville…”

It’s night time in the big city A woman pulls out a 1099 form A man lies about his deductions “Well it’s the middle of April, and if you’re like me you were up all night last night finishing your tax returns. As Benjamin Franklin once put it, in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. One other thing is certain, for the next hour we’re going to be covering both those subjects with our usual musical abandon so call all the deductions into the room, gather around the radio and enjoy the next 58 minutes. It would 60 minutes, but the government wants its taste…”

It’s night time in the big city You can smell rain in the air I really gotta get those boxes out of the basement

It’s night time in the big city. Something isn’t quite right. Nobody will answer the phone. “Every place I go, and I go a lot of places, people say hello.”