These United States Stories

A professional picnic planner tells Professor Pringle how free-flowing beer, dull knives, an adults-only bounce house and a snake pit can tip the scales from good old fashioned fun to post-apocalyptic orgiastic hellscape in the blink of an eye.

In this holiday special Professor Pringle revisits his interviews with a fireworks manufacturer with a surprisingly popular "Death To America" display, and the owner of a water park with the laziest river ever and a rash that just won't go away.

Professor Pringle visits with the mayor of a surprisingly costly New England Beach resort, who shows him the community's unique 9/11 memorial, explains the town's generous open-door policy for all refugees, and warns of the dangers of using any product not purchased on the island.

As the state fair season heats up, Professor Pringle interviews the country's foremost creator of deep fat fried novelty foods, who explains why frying makes almost anything edible, the challenges of finding new things to fry, and the growing business of crisping cadavers.

Professor Pringle visits a day care center for dogs and learns why you should always check your dog's mouth for duck blood, discovers the secret lives of terriers, and the benefits of herding the elderly.

The owner of a network of AM radio stations tells Professor Pringle about the money to be made from telling a story with "news," the benefits of selling "End of Days" survival kits, and what you should do when someone asks you to put your ear in their mouth.

Professor Pringle learns about the surprisingly violent world of street characters from a man who makes his living by posing for photos in costume as "Iron Guy," "Superperson," and Charles Manson.

A specialist in Genealogy tells Professor Pringle about the many fascinating and troublesome things you can discover when you delve into your family history.

A world class assassin explains to Professor Pringle how improvements in auto safety have made his work more difficult, the benefits of using the the internet to select targets, and the joy of rigorous preparation for each job.

Professor Pringle journeys to the bayous of Louisiana and speaks with a sharp eyed Cajun who explains the somewhat disgusting secret to becoming one of the world's greatest trackers.

Professor Pringle meets a performer who explains how he is able to  swallow -- and bring back up relatively clean-- almost anything, including wallets, purses, spare change, a whole grapefruit and the occasional small animal.

An expert in Angelology tells Professor Pringle about the many angels among us, and explains the difference between guardian, avenging and messenger angels, as well as why it is important to have a no nonsense archangel keeping everyone in line.

Professor Pringle learns about the "science" of using a Y-shaped stick to discover water, urine and pregnant women, when he interviews a man who douses with a divining rod.

Professor Pringle visits an old fashioned ice cream parlor and learns that Vermont is the coca plant capital of the country, the perils of having urine that glows in the dark, and the horrifying invention of mix-ins for ice cream.

Professor Pringle discovers that doves and rabbits can be squeezed into very tiny spaces, the benefits of incorporating a toilet into a card trick, and the logistical problems of encasing someone in Jello, when he speaks with a man who creates magic tricks.

Professor Pringle is entertained and then alarmed, when he discovers the secrets behind a successful wax museum.

Professor Pringle interviews a sewer worker who explains the importance of corpse proof storm drain grates, carefully prodding possum carcasses, and why the temperature of the sewer is always 68 degrees.

A man who designs and builds amusement park rides tells Professor Pringle how he makes mucus fun, explains why sheer terror is the secret to a good thrill ride and how a merry-go-round can teach children the facts of life.

Professor Pringle visits a cookie company where he discovers the link between infants and cookie craving, the strict hand of the International Cookie Federation, and why a cookie is sometimes the best medicine.

Professor Pringle learns about the world of online gaming, the excitement of flying an airliner while sitting at his desk, and the fun of doing hard time in solitary confinement, when he interviews a video game designer.

A professional treasure hunter tells Professor Pringle about the joys of discovering riches in your own backyard, the secret maps lurking in coffee shop menus, and his quest for the one ring to rule them all.

Professor Pringle feels the chills, thrills and out right terror of watching antique films that could burst into flames any second, when he interviews a collector of very early movies.

The owner of a soap company explains to Professor Pringle the benefits of wringing oil from cat fur to polish floors, why dog saliva is the ultimate cleaning substance, and the joys of being wiped with a towel that mimics a dog's tongue.

The world champion of hide and seek pops up out of nowhere to tell Professor Pringle how to hide in a drawer, under a foot stool, or behind a cat, and why missing a limb, having squishy bones, and rubbery joints can give you a step up on the competition.

An expert in homeopathic ("natural") medicine tells Professor Pringle about treating tumors with Jello and the benefits of having ants eat their way to your health in this week's interview.

Professor Pringle speaks with a man who drops the ball on New Year's Eve and discovers the perils of trial and error in coming up with a holiday tradition, why America is falling behind in the international ball dropping race, and just how much fun it is to lower a ball at the stroke of midnight.

Professor Pringle learns about deer goo, smoked cheese and bough mites, when he interviews a man who makes Christmas decorations, a sausage slinger in a mall kiosk, and a Christmas tree salesman, in this holiday special.

An actor who has played the role of Scrooge in a local production of A Christmas Carol for 67 years, enlightens Professor Pringle about the cuckolding subtext of the tale, the difficulty of finding a Tiny Tim who can survive the show's run, and the trick to doing the play nude.

A professional gift wrapper gives Professor Pringle insight on how to wrap cars, swords, puppies and genitalia.

Professor Pringle interviews a professional snow artist who shares the secret of making perfect snowmen, snow women, and, disturbingly, snow children.

Professor Pringle learns why Thanksgiving was originally called "the meal before the great die off," the perils of having a blacksmith dig out your tooth with a pair of pliers, and the trauma of alternating crippling constipation with blazing diarrhea as a result of a diet of pork fat and boiled corn mush, when he speaks with a living history reenactor at a re-created Pilgrim village.

Professor Pringle finds out that a cycle path is very different from a psychopath, which should not be confused with a sociopath, when he interviews a man who explains the benefits of living a life without empathy, remorse, or a conscience of any kind.

Professor Pringle discovers the thin line between collecting and hoarding, the true meaning of the "C" word, and that there is a place for everything, so long as you are willing to put everything into sealed plastic boxes, when he interviews the owner of a store that sells containers. (Nope, not THAT store....)

Just in time for Halloween, Professor Pringle learns the fine art of stacking bones, fighting off rats and drying out corpses, when he speaks with the operator of the only catacombs in the United States.

Professor Pringle speaks with a manufacturer of playground equipment and learns the ins and outs of importing children in shipping containers, the measures taken to protect the soft bones and weak lungs of today's kids, and the vigorous workout you get trying to escape the quicksand like grasp of a playground mat.

Professor Pringle discovers that linoleum, rotted barn wood, a center island and a staple gun can transform any home for immediate sale, as well as trigger homicidal impulses, when he interviews a contractor who "flips" houses.

Professor Pringle learns that bears do indeed defecate in the woods --and almost anywhere else they choose --when he interviews a man who wrestles bears.

Professor Pringle speaks with the owner of a rare book store and learns the surprising (and disturbing) things that make an antique book collectible.

Professor Pringle learns how to slay someone with words, discovers the power of dried dog noses, and finds out why quantum mechanics is proof of real magic, when he interviews a practitioner of chaos, ritual, and every other kind of magick. (That's right --magic, but with a "K.")

Professor Pringle visits an old fashioned hardware store and learns about nuts, bolts, tools, glue, gas chambers, electric chairs and gallows.

Professor Pringle learns the secrets of the Illuminati, why certain aliens are seemingly preoccupied with the digestive system, and the many uses of aluminum foil to ward off unwelcome surveillance, when he speaks with a man who exposes the truth behind the many conspiracies that make up our world.

In this week's interview a traveler who wanders the globe in search of memorable experiences regales Professor Pringle with stories of exotic locales, unknowing hosts and explosive diarrhea.

Professor Pringle learns about the wonders of extruded rice millet and non-nutritive fiber, when he interviews the owner of a company that makes breakfast cereal.

Professor Pringle narrowly escapes being splashed with blood, burned alive and getting shot during a home invasion, when he visits with the director of an experimental theater company.

Professor Pringle encounters an extremely lazy river, a town flattening wave pool, and a nasty rash, when he interviews the owner of a homemade water park.

Professor Pringle discovers the unique flavors of craft brewed beers, as well as the appalling names for the brews when he interviews the maker of artisan brewed beers.

Slit wrists, ripped nails and emergency tracheostomies as Professor Pringle discovers the surprisingly violent world of professional jigsaw puzzling.

An elevator repairman assures Professor Pringle that it is almost impossible to suffocate in a stalled elevator, that they almost never plunge uncontrollably to the basement of a building, and explains that pretty much all safety features are useless.

A gourmet grocer explains to Professor Pringle why the best lettuce is grown in caves and harvested by blind people, as well as the benefits of strapping down hogs and massaging cows.

Professor Pringle learns why almost everyone who believes in reincarnation thinks they were someone famous in a prior life, when he interviews a hypnotist who puts people under to show them their past lives.

Professor Pringle discovers the delights and dangers of coating almost anything with chocolate, when he interviews the owner of a candy factory.