Diary of a Christian Woman

Do you know it means to date and express your emotions, you have to be vulnerable just so things can ‘work out'no work out a lot.

Where have I been...am I back for good

Surprise! Ok I'm back for good guys and this time I'm serious! I teamed up with my favourite girls and screamed fire on the mountain! I just want to have SEX !

While society and popular stereotypes often associate people of faith with a squeaky clean, sin-free life, this is hardly the case. Christians are just as prone to temptation and sin as anyone else. And even for people who are religious, addiction can be a threat. Addiction is not confined to any particular group of people, race, class or gender. Anyone can be an addict—even Christians.

Lets talk about all things sex, but make it personal. A topic that everyone is to speak about, so, let's talk it but first let's be transparent. In this episode I take you on a journey of my Sexual Healing, from being addicted to Porn, Sex & Masturbation.

We are back and we are getting straight into the topic of marriage. I sat down with my mentor Nadine, who has been married for 10+ years and discussed Godly marriage and the misconceptions surrounding societies definition.

When I don't know what to do, putting words on paper feels tangible. It's black and white. When I don't feel like talking, writing allows me to speak in a solitary way. The page is a never-ending space for depositing my concerns and fears and hopes. Writing has helped me let go and accept that I may never find answers. Exploring my emotions via writing keeps all my questions and possible answers accessible. I review and rework and eventually move beyond whatever im trying to process. Last year in the peak of my pain I wrote three letters…. Website: www.deborahmoba.com Instagram: @deborahmoba @_diaryofachristianwoman

When the people whom we trust manipulate, shame, reject, or use others for selfish gain, the effects are extremely painful and confusing. It hits us where we are most tender. Experiencing church hurt caused me to question my faith, “If church can hurt me so deeply, then what does that say about God? Who is God anyway? Can He really be trusted?” and I know someone will say Man isn't God. Yeah you are right man isn't God but if God has given man an instruction to be a Shepard and then he fails should I not be upset? Website: www.deborahmoba.com Instagram: @deborahmoba @_diaryofachristianwoman --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Honestly it's getting better, maybe this healing thing isn't so bad. I'm definitely in a space where I'm learning to fall in love with myself again. I've gone through the rollercoaster side of it and now I'm on steady mode everything is looking... how do you say it...easy Website: www.deborahmoba.com Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Forgiveness is known as the internal process of letting go feelings and thoughts.  What is forgiveness seriously? How long does it take to forgive? If I hurt someone and they say 'I forgive you', do they really forgive me or are they just saying that because that's what we have to say. The Bible talks about forgiveness everywhere Ephesians 4:32 , Matthew 6:14, Colossians 3:13 and they say the same thing forgive others so that the father may forgive you. Website: www.deborahmoba.com Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Correct me if I'me wrong but I don't think I'm the perfect Christian, to be honest I don't think there's such a thing as being the ‘perfect' Christian. I've come to realise that there's this pressure that because you are a Christian you have to be perfect. Well that's wrong! I'm a Christian and I'm NOT perfect the same issues and pain people feel I also feel, the only difference is I'm learning to walk through it with God! Website: www.deborahmoba.com Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

I'm struggling to have faith, struggling to have hope, to hold on all because I decided to be disobedient. This isn't God punishing me this is me punishing myslef. This is me making it difficult. I cry not because I'm sad or angry, I cry because I'm ashamed embarrassed... mainly disappointed. This isn't where you're meant to be this isn't what you're supposed to be doing, you're not supposed to be here, why are you here? Website: www.deborahmoba.com Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Hello beautiful people, its your girl Deborah Moba, and wow its great to be back again recording with you. Welcome to Season 3 of DCW - Dear Diary. This season, its about to get raw and personal. This season is all about my diary entires. That's right, I'll be telling you my real life diary entries, my conversations with God and of-course an update on my healing journey. Here at #DCW its all about being Intimate, Vulnerable & Transparent so lets get to it. Tune in every Friday at 7pm on Google Podcast, Spotify, Apply Podcast and many more platforms to listen in. Love Deborah x --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

DISCLAIMER - Due to the current regulations surrounding COVID19, this episode was recorded via Zoom. Sorry for any sound issues. What are the myths surrounding feminism? I sat down with Pamela Simwanza founder of The Vision, to discuss feminism in marriage and the myths surrounding it. While this is a sensitive topic to some, we both agreed that there are some myths surrounding the feminism debate. Please note, this conversation is not aimed to change tour views. Website: www.deborahmoba.com www.the-vision.co.uk Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @the_visn @deborahmoba @pamsimwanza --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

DISCLAIMER - Due to the current regulations surrounding COVID19, this episode was recorded via Zoom. Sorry for any sound issues. There's too many men (literally). I decided to bring the lads in on this one. Men vs Feminism take 1, it was time to finally understand whether men understand the issues we face as women, from being in the church to our everyday life. Website: www.deborahmoba.com www.inpursuitofcharacter.org www.optimizevisuals.com Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba @optimizevisuals @ipocharacter @_manlikemike @four12men --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

DISCLAIMER - Due to the current regulations surrounding COVID19, this episode was recorded via Zoom. Sorry for any sound issues. There's too many men (literally). I decided to bring the lads in on this one. Men vs Feminism take 1, it was time to finally understand whether men understand the issues we face as women, from being in the church to our everyday life. Website: www.deborahmoba.com www.inpursuitofcharacter.org www.optimizevisuals.com Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba @optimizevisuals @ipocharacter @_manlikemike @four12men --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

DISCLAIMER - Due to the current regulations surrounding COVID19, this episode was recorded via Zoom. Sorry for any sound issues. Your faviroute trio is back with another conversation. Contuntiuing with the topic on Feminism & just in time for valentines day. We though it would be best to dive into the unspoken conversation of Feminism in relationships & knowing your worth. Website: www.deborahmoba.com www.my-vie.com mhta-ldn.org Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba @angelaawuah @serenamushigo @vie.today @mhta_ldn Twitter @Vietoday @mhta_ldn --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

DISCLAIMER - Due to the current regulations surrounding COVID19, this episode was recorded via Zoom. Sorry for any sound issues. Calling all the ladies, let's talk about feminism! I sat down with Angela & Serena to discuss the true meaning of feminism and if it should exist in the Christian community. We understand that this topic is very sensitive this to others. I would like to reassure you that these are based on our own views and life experiences and in no way are we imposing our views and beliefs on others. Website: www.deborahmoba.com www.my-vie.com mhta-ldn.org Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba @angelaawuah @serenamushigo @vie.today @mhta_ldn Twitter @Vietoday @mhta_ldn --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

DISCLAIMER - Due to the current regulations surrounding COVID19, this episode was recorded via Zoom. Sorry for any sound issues Let's talk about Mental Health! I sat down with Angela founder and CEO of Mental Health the Arts ( MHTA). MHTA is a social that has been running for 5 years. Mental Health in the Christian Community...lets talks about it! Why don't we speak about it, is it the lack of understanding or are we letting religion and culture form our options on this. Angela broke down ways the church/ the Christian community can support Mental health. Instagram : @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba @angelaawuah @mhta_ldn Twitter : @mhta_ldn Website : www.deborahmoba.com www.mhta-ldn.org --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

DISCLAIMER - Due to the current regulations surrounding COVID19, this episode was recorded via Zoom. Sorry for any sound issues Let's talk about Mental Health! I sat down with Angela founder and CEO of Mental Health the Arts ( MHTA). MHTA is a social that has been running for 5 years. Mental Health in the Christian Community...lets talks about it! Why don't we speak about it, is it the lack of understanding or are we letting religion and culture form our options on this. Angela broke down the issues surrounding Mental health when it comes to religion and culture. Instagram : @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba @angelaawuah @mhta_ldn Twitter : @mhta_ldn Website : www.deborahmoba.com www.mhta-ldn.org --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

2021 it's a new year and I'm back with a bang. I went missing for a bit, not on purpose but it was on purpose. I had many entries that I wanted to release but there was a little bit of fear in putting them out. I had a bit of an Impostors Syndrome. For those who doesn't know what I'm talking about to go back to the beginning Imposture Syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed. The Imposture Syndrome is real, and I don't say it to speak it over myself or I don't say it to speak it over you. I say it so you are aware. I say it so you can sit back and analyse where is my mindset at. I want you to ask yourself the question Am I ok? It's ok to ask that and it's actually ok so say no you're not. As I'm speaking to you I'm speaking to myself, not evrything has to be perfect the first time it doesn't need to be perfect but it needs to be in line with the will of God. Instagram @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba Website : www.deborahmoba.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Reflecting on 2020 I believe everything happens for a reason its up to you to learn from it or not. Never make man your idol, I'm 26 years old and I would say for the majority of my entire life man was my idol. I looked up to God (so I thought) but I looked up to man. Rather than seeking Gods approval I sought mans approval in everything. I looked for acceptance, I looked for love, accountability, protection you name it. I didn't go to my heavily father that in claimed to adore I went to man. And each time man would fail me. Well I don't want that. I don't want to make man my Idol. I'm tired of being disappointed by humans, tired of being let down, I'm tired of feeling empty and discouraged. I'd rather fall in love with someone that has shown up constantly that has never disappointed me. The Bible clearly states (Matthew 6:33) Seek ye first the kingdom and everything else will be added... now take it as you please but, why am I seeking man and getting nothing return? Why am I seeking the world and still being disappointed? No one has time for that I don't and you don't either. This is 2021 we are move if differently. Remove whatever you have put above God and make him your main focus. Instagram: @_diaryofachristianwoman @deborahmoba Website: www.deborahmoba.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

I tried as much as possible to hold back my tears when recording this diary entry, in fact I didn't want to release it. Why me? The one question I have been asking myself since April 2020.  Who would've thought the man I fell in love with would have broke my heart just before we were about to start out future together. You think you know someone but the you find out that you don't. I can't begin to explain how I felt that day, the emotions that I was experiencing .... Anger, Pain, Embarrassment, Empty the list goes on. Imagine the love of your life waking up one day and saying they dont want to be with you anymore. No warning what so ever..... Finally taking off my engagement ring and leaving it in the box was the biggest thing of my life. You battle between whether you're doing the right thing or not but at the end of the day the one question that I will go to bed asking is Why me? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Hello People dem

I recently turned 26. I don't 26 on November the 20th.  So I was in a place of self evaluation, but not of an evaluation where OK, what could I do better but self evaluation where I'm not good enough, I haven't done anything.  It was like, oh, I'm now this new age. I'm now on the other side of twenty five, how do I feel? And I went back to self reflection again. But this time I wasn't self reflective. I put myself down. It was like God reminded me, regardless of everything that's happened this year, look at everything I've also done for you. The wounds in my heart was opening up again to a point where I was becoming offended with God for no entire reason. I took a breath and I just started crying. I wasn't crying out of sadness. I wasn't crying out of anger but I was actually crying tears of joy. It made me realise that it's not about me anymore, it's not about what I want, or when I want things, but it's about what He wants! Im finally saying YES it what you want me to do, i'm saying YES with my heart open and eyes focused on him! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

I had my first therapy session last week and I really enjoyed it. It was good to speak to someone who didn't know me from Adam. I was really hard at first to open to her but after some time you girl was crying like a baby. From that one therapy session i was able to establish that your girl is Frustrated, Pissed, Annoyed, & Hurt, with many other emotions. It was difficult for me to accept that this is what I was feeling. I really thought I was over it but I guess i'm not... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

2020, we can all agree that it came for us, the infamous saying 'it came for our necks' or 'it came for our edges' but let's not lie...it did. I don't know about you but 2020 came for everything I had and the one question I've been asking myself, is how do I heal from this. It's easy to heal when you have the common flu, but when you are dealing with something you can't see or you can't control, that's when it gets harder. I am a Christin woman and I don't know how to heal. Do I want to heal? How am I meant to heal? I'm more or less angry about everything that has happened this year, not angry because it happened but angry because I had no control. It's weird right, not having control over something, you are practically powerless. I couldn't control being dumped. I couldn't control the death of my Dad but for some reason, I have the power to control how I heal...but I don't know how to. Do your possible best and let God do the impossible rest. I look in the mirror and I say It's ok to mourn, It's ok to cry, It's ok to be angry, It's compulsory to heal. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

I sat down with Vie to discuss all things Sexual Healing. We dove straight in with the question on Why did you write the book? The unspoken conversation about Sex, Abuse & Relationships has become something that we are now afraid to speak about. A lot of these experiences can have some effect and alter behaviours in ones day to day life. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app