Mankind has always yearned to become supermankind. But there have been a lot of superpowers dreamt up over the years, so listen to us go through them at random, thrice weekly. Tags: super powers, comedy, powers, wikia, hero, heroic.
What if Ebenezer Scrooge had Heat Vision? What if Santa could turn into a stinkbug? What if Adam Sandler was more violent? We answer these questions and more as we imagine our favorite Holiday movies if the characters had super powers.
The podcast's not over, I'm just not going to be proactive in organizing it anymore. Feel free to send episodes to Fancybat.empowered@gmail.com
In which we talk about Moo Mesa, Chicken Nuggets, and Clown Eggs.
In which we talk about Ben's sex life… and that's it.
In which we talk about Internet Stuff, The Unabomber, and Red Bull.
In which we talk about old shows, cool drugs, and The Aggro Crag.
In which we explain how new people acclimate, how the wiki is laid out, and how children are the worst.
In which we dox ourselves again, discuss homeownership, and the deaths of philosophers.
Vibration Whip Generation: Whip it! Buzz it! Generate it!
Wood Defense: Good against everything except Chainsaw Offense.
Golf Mastery: You're the best at the Country Club and with the Country Club.
Supernatural Breath Inducement: I asked for the supernatural breathy news, not the… wait this feels familiar.
Prehensile Mouth: I asked for the horrifying fully autonomous news, not the horrifying fully autonomous weather.
Guitar Flight: Come Fly With Me (to the house from Home Alone)
Mining Vehicle Mimicry: Who mines the miners?
Overclocking: Do more with less, followed immediately by doing less with more.
Enhanced Wisdom: I have more questions than answers, and that's the point.
Medical Torture Mastery: Do not use Medical Torture Mastery for anything other than its intended - and beneficial - use.
Nucleo-Extraterrestrial Physiology: Don't front with aliens.
True Werebeast Physiology: Turn into the original werebeast, the one without an origin. Wait…
Time Beam Emission: in which a heated physics debate threatens all of reality.
Food Chain Creation: Willy Wonka with even fewer ethical restrictions.
Elemental Manipulation: Back in my day we only had 4 elements, and two of ‘em sucked!
Knife Teleportation: It slices! It dices! It warps spacetime for your convenience!
Human Bomb Generation: Was that Gen X, or Gen Y?
All-Terrain Mobility: When you get around Hank “The Tank” McCoy, you really get around Hank “The Beast” McCoy.
Footwear Creation: Who wears the footwear wearers?
Universal Irreversibility: No Backsies. Not now, not ever!
Mystical Bardsmanship: aka Bardamania, aka Song Skill, aka Mythic Meandering, aka…
Robot Companionship: Impractical now, sure, but wait until the uprisings!
Thread Wall Generation: A more polite term for “hippies.”
Potential Energy Generation: Assume all heroes are spheres in a vacuum.
Auxiliary Organs: Three Hearts, Two Spleens, No Fucks.
Physical Disruption: Careful, the physics you disrupt may be your own.
Hyper Bouncing: Get on up offa that thang… and never stop.
Chosen One Link: With apologies to his holiness the Lama.
Dimensional Storage: Create a pocket dimension, fill it with 80% Animorphs spoilers.
Sand Transformation: Some like it rough. Fewer like it gritty.
Suit Up!: The best time to wear a striped sweater is during a beautiful day in my neighborhood.
Prehensile Antenna: Not as weird as we could have made it.
Scorching Presence: Things are really heating up here in the… uh, all around you.
Safety Equipment Manipulation: Safety Third!
Accelerated Assimilation: You can die from poison, but faster!
Supernatural Throwing: I ain't afraid of throwin' no ghosts.
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