Empowered

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Mankind has always yearned to become supermankind. But there have been a lot of superpowers dreamt up over the years, so listen to us go through them at random, thrice weekly. Tags: super powers, comedy, powers, wikia, hero, heroic.

Empowered


    • Dec 26, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 471 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Empowered

    The 2022 Holiday Special

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2022


    What if Ebenezer Scrooge had Heat Vision? What if Santa could turn into a stinkbug? What if Adam Sandler was more violent? We answer these questions and more as we imagine our favorite Holiday movies if the characters had super powers.

    An Empowered Announcement

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2022


    The podcast's not over, I'm just not going to be proactive in organizing it anymore. Feel free to send episodes to Fancybat.empowered@gmail.com

    Fourth After-Dark Compilation 6

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2022


    In which we talk about Moo Mesa, Chicken Nuggets, and Clown Eggs.

    Fourth After-Dark Compilation 5

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2022


    In which we talk about Ben's sex life… and that's it.

    Fourth After-Dark Compilation 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2022


    In which we talk about Internet Stuff, The Unabomber, and Red Bull.

    Fourth After-Dark Compilation 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2022


    In which we talk about old shows, cool drugs, and The Aggro Crag.

    Fourth After-Dark Compilation 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2022


    In which we explain how new people acclimate, how the wiki is laid out, and how children are the worst.

    Fourth After-Dark Compilation 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2022


    In which we dox ourselves again, discuss homeownership, and the deaths of philosophers.

    600 - Vibration Whip Generation

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2022


    Vibration Whip Generation: Whip it! Buzz it! Generate it!

    599 - Wood Defense

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2022


    Wood Defense: Good against everything except Chainsaw Offense.

    598 - Golf Mastery

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2022


    Golf Mastery: You're the best at the Country Club and with the Country Club.

    597 - Supernatural Breath Inducement

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2022


    Supernatural Breath Inducement: I asked for the supernatural breathy news, not the… wait this feels familiar.

    596 - Prehensile Mouth

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2022


    Prehensile Mouth: I asked for the horrifying fully autonomous news, not the horrifying fully autonomous weather.

    595 - Guitar Flight

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2022


    Guitar Flight: Come Fly With Me (to the house from Home Alone)

    594 - Mining Vehicle Mimicry

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2022


    Mining Vehicle Mimicry: Who mines the miners?

    593 - Vacuum Vision

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2022


    Vacuum Vision: They won't even… SEE it coming!

    592 - Enhanced Disassembly

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2022


    Enhanced Disassembly: Break it down!

    591 - Overclocking

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2022


    Overclocking: Do more with less, followed immediately by doing less with more.

    590 - Enhanced Wisdom

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2022


    Enhanced Wisdom: I have more questions than answers, and that's the point.

    589 - Medical Torture Mastery

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2022


    Medical Torture Mastery: Do not use Medical Torture Mastery for anything other than its intended - and beneficial - use.

    588 - Nucleo-Extraterrestrial Physiology

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2022


    Nucleo-Extraterrestrial Physiology: Don't front with aliens.

    587 - True Werebeast Physiology

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2022


    True Werebeast Physiology: Turn into the original werebeast, the one without an origin. Wait…

    586 - Time Beam Emission

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2022


    Time Beam Emission: in which a heated physics debate threatens all of reality.

    585 - Food Chain Creation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2022


    Food Chain Creation: Willy Wonka with even fewer ethical restrictions.

    584 - Elemental Manipulation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2022


    Elemental Manipulation: Back in my day we only had 4 elements, and two of ‘em sucked!

    583 - Knife Teleportation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2022


    Knife Teleportation: It slices! It dices! It warps spacetime for your convenience!

    582 - Human Bomb Generation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2022


    Human Bomb Generation: Was that Gen X, or Gen Y?

    581 - All-Terrain Mobility

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 17, 2022


    All-Terrain Mobility: When you get around Hank “The Tank” McCoy, you really get around Hank “The Beast” McCoy.

    580 - Footwear Creation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2022


    Footwear Creation: Who wears the footwear wearers?

    579 - Universal Irreversibility

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2022


    Universal Irreversibility: No Backsies. Not now, not ever!

    578 - Mystical Bardsmanship

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022


    Mystical Bardsmanship: aka Bardamania, aka Song Skill, aka Mythic Meandering, aka…

    577 - Robot Companionship

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022


    Robot Companionship: Impractical now, sure, but wait until the uprisings!

    576 - Thread Wall Generation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2022


    Thread Wall Generation: A more polite term for “hippies.”

    575 - Gas Blast

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2022


    Gas Blast: How did you think this episode would go?

    574 - Snow Defense

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2022


    Snow Defense: Jack Frost won't be nipping you anymore.

    573 - Potential Energy Generation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022


    Potential Energy Generation: Assume all heroes are spheres in a vacuum.

    572 - Auxiliary Organs

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022


    Auxiliary Organs: Three Hearts, Two Spleens, No Fucks.

    571 - Past Borrowing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2022


    Past Borrowing: You done with that?

    570 - Physical Disruption

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2022


    Physical Disruption: Careful, the physics you disrupt may be your own.

    569 - Hyper Bouncing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2022


    Hyper Bouncing: Get on up offa that thang… and never stop.

    568 - Chosen One Link

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2022


    Chosen One Link: With apologies to his holiness the Lama.

    567 - Dimensional Storage

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2022


    Dimensional Storage: Create a pocket dimension, fill it with 80% Animorphs spoilers.

    566 - Sand Transformation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2022


    Sand Transformation: Some like it rough. Fewer like it gritty.

    565 - Eel Physiology

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2022


    Eel Physiology: Mysterious. Powerful. Slimy. Super?

    564 - Suit Up!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022


    Suit Up!: The best time to wear a striped sweater is during a beautiful day in my neighborhood.

    563 - Prehensile Antenna

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2022


    Prehensile Antenna: Not as weird as we could have made it.

    562 - Scorching Presence

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022


    Scorching Presence: Things are really heating up here in the… uh, all around you.

    561 - Safety Equipment Manipulation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2022


    Safety Equipment Manipulation: Safety Third!

    560 - Accelerated Assimilation

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2022


    Accelerated Assimilation: You can die from poison, but faster!

    559 - Movement Vision

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2022


    Movement Vision: Keep your eye on every ball.

    558 - Supernatural Throwing

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2022


    Supernatural Throwing: I ain't afraid of throwin' no ghosts.

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