Fat Attack Features

We are back! Fair warning, chaos follows. On this episode Kate drops by and joins us as we talk about the Croydon Cat Killer and the insanity that is Stephen King's 1992 horror/drama Sleepwalkers!

We are back! On this episode we continue with another chapter of JCVD's filmography. This time, I fall down a Corey Feldman rabbit hole, we talk about famous escaped prisoners, and we discuss the 1993 Action/Crime Thriller Nowhere to Run!

We are back! JCVDember returns on this episode as we talk about recent viewings, the early life and career of Dolph Lundgren, and the 1992 action movie Universal Soldier. Does this movie deserve to be decorated, or does it need to be dishonorably discharged? Tune in and find out!

We are back! On this episode, I am rolling solo. Accompany me as I talk about the life and death of the Grizzly Man, the Sankebetsu bear attacks in Japan, and the 1990 horror action film they inspired Yellow Fangs!

We are back! On this episode of the podcast Tarvares returns and we discuss an AITA bathroom situation, the Lurongyu 2682 mutiny and massacre, and the 2012 Korean animated horror musical Padak. Is this one a keeper? Or does it need to be tossed back to the depths from which it came? Tune in and find out!

We are back! On this episode, Elaine takes over the podcast and tries her hand at hosting and picked our movie. This week, I eat an edible again, we talk about women's rights, and we discuss the 2007 Romance/Comedy Lars and the Real Girl

We are back! On this episode we talk about replacement buttholes, couples who murder, and the 2021 Norwegian black comedy The Trip!

We are back! Schedule got a bit out of wack but we are finally ending the second arc of Jean Claude Vandember. This week, we talk about a murder spurred by crumbs left in the bed, we share some memories, and I do the deepest dive on a production so far. This week's movie is the 1991 action film Double Impact. Are two JCVDs better than one? Tune in and find out!

We are back! It's been a rough last few months but we are kicking off 2024 with a new episode. This week, we talk about robot dicks, Christmas murderers, and the 2023 horror comedy There's Something In The Barn!

What's up everybody? We are back! Our schedules have been hellacious, but that didn't stop Elaine and I from celebrating our favorite time of year Halloween! On this episode, we briefly discuss the infamous Enfield Haunting and the notorious 1992 TV mockumentary that shocked an entire nation, Ghostwatch. Does this infamous broadcast live up to it's reputation? Tune in and find out!

We are back! Jean Claude VanDember continues this week as I discover a new personal fear, we discuss the black market organ trade, and we begrudgingly review the 1990 action movie Death Warrant. We also give a rundown on recent viewings and update our JCVD villain and movie lists!

We are back! On this episode, Jean Claude Vandember returns! We kick off the second arc with the 1990 action/martial arts movie Lionheart. We also rank our JCVD films and villains so far. Does this film take the top spot? Or will it become the new bottom dweller? Tune in and find out!

We are back! Big Ken came to town and joined Tarvares and I for this week's episode. Join us as we talk about child trafficking, cruise ship carnage, and the 1998 action/horror film Deep Rising. Does this week's movie manage to sink or swim? Tune it to find out!

We are back! On this episode, Elaine is hungry, we discuss ThunderCats porn, and we take a look at the 1993 horror movie Ticks!

We are back! On this episode I relive our horrendous recent move, we read some interesting love letters, and talk about the 2007 horror/thriller Bug!

We are back! On this episode, Elaine and I talk about Wojtek, the bear that fought in WW2, the Finnish getting screwed by the Soviets, and the action packed Finnish war film Sisu! Is this movie worthy of decoration? Tune in and find out!

We are back! What happens when a grieving son returns to his childhood home only to find a mysterious camera that can record the past? Not much really. This week on the show, Elaine and I sit down to talk about the 2022 sort of horror/thriller-ish movie Landlocked. Does this film leave a fond memory or it best forgotten? Tune in to find out!

We are back! Apologies for the brief hiatus but we have been beyond busy. This week we talk about normalizing a new catchphrase, teaching animals sign language and discuss the action thriller from 1995 Congo!

We are back! On this episode, Tarvares returns to join Elaine and I as we wrap the first leg of Jean Claude Van Dember with the 1989 martial arts action film Kickboxer!

We are back! Jean Claude Van Dember keeps rolling as this week on the show we talk about Cocaine Bear (SPOILERS), our recent movie theater experience and the ever so interesting production of the 1989 action film Cyborg!

We are back! The time is finally here. On this episode, Elaine and I are joined by returning guest Tarvares and we are kicking off Jean Claude Van Dember! Yeah its March, don't ask questions. We talk about JCVD coming into the business, the real life Frank Dux, and give a preview of what's coming next!

We are back! On this episode I run in to a hairy situation, we talk about the Green Bay Packers draft pick turned serial killer Randall Woodfield, and we discuss the 2021 "horror" comedy All My Friends Hate Me. Check it out!

What is up everybody?!?!? Apologies for missing our last upload, but we are back! On this episode, Elaine talks about Steve Irwin, I share a traumatic experience, and we talk about the 2020 horror comedy Bloody Hell. Does this go off like a frog in a sock? Or is bodgie? Tune in and find out!

Hoe Hoe Hoe!!! We are back with our 2nd Christmas episode, just a little late. On this episode, we talk about scary fish, serial killer Henry Lee Lucas, and the 2022 horror movie Christmas Bloody Christmas! Is this a stocking stuffer or a lump of coal? Tune in to find out!

Gobble gobble! In typical FAF fashion, we are a bit late, but better late than never. This week we talk about sexy turkeys, why sweet potatoes are trash, and the 1987 Thanksgiving slasher Blood Rage!

We are back everyone! Apologies for being late but ya know....shit happens. Anyway, on this episode, we continue to churn along in Year 2 while discussing my limited French vocabulary, vampire literary works, and the 2016 hidden gem The Transfiguration! Check it out!

Happy belated Halloween everyone! The show returns with something no one asked for, another solo episode! Speaking of things no one asked for, this week I am discussing the 2022 horror anthology V/H/S 99, the latest installment in the VHS franchise. It was Halloween night, I was all alone, and I had a movie with zero expectations. Let's see how it turned out!

Year 2 continues on and this week, shit got weird. Fair warning, I tried a new setup and there is a background sound issue for part of the episode but it seems to clear out by the end. Elaine is on vacation, so for this episode James and Tarvares make their return to discuss the 1987 comedy/horror/drama live action anime splice up Twilight of the Cockroaches! Politics, love, war, A TALKING PILE OF SHIT??? This movie has it all.

We are back with Year 2 of the podcast! On this episode we talk about pie, Elaine tries to teach me about nuclear power, and we discuss the borefest Ariana

Today is the 1 year anniversary of the show! We planned on a award show but.....shit happens. So we had to call an audible. Today, we are talking about danishes, my one and only traumatic experience at Starbucks, and the 2021 Finnish film Hatching!

We are back with a new episode! This week on the show we do a brief rundown on the history of the Predator, talk about Indians and basket weaving, the upcoming anniversary of the show and we discuss the brand new 2022 movie Prey!

We are back with a new episode! On this episode we talk about Quentin Tarantino, Elaine leaving me, and frankly, the 2nd worst movie we have done on the podcast. Tune in to hear about how I paid money to have a shorter version of this dog shit movie and hear our plans for future episodes!

On this episode, we pay homage to Cartel Monkey's death and talk about the 1988 film Monkey Shines. We discuss it's iconic cover, boy scouts, old man politics, the female anatomy, and making babies. Admittedly, this one was a wild one, so let's see if this movie truly shines or is as dull as....well.....something. I'm no dullologist

On this episode, our friend Kate drops by and we talk about the 2016 film Raw

We are back! Schedules have been hectic but we are slowly getting back in to the groove. On this week's episode we talk about....much to our chagrin, Spiral: Book of Saw. This one was rough guys, but soon we will be back on schedule! Stay tuned!

WE ARE BACK! After an amazingly hectic schedule we have finally had time to get back on track. Well, not really. Today we have a very special guest who helps us navigate The Sadness, the Tebows, and brain juice. Does this podcast have a happy ending? Tune in to find out!

Well, Meat Loaf Mania is over and honestly....I ain't mad about it. On this episode, Tarvares makes his return to the show, we discuss Jaws knockoffs, Italian copyright laws, and the 1977 film Orca!

Well we have reached the end of Meat Loaf Mania and.......thank God. On this episode we talk about the 2006 Masters of Horror episode Pelts. Also, Elaine takes over and we briefly touch on me pooping myself when I die, are meatballs tiny meatloaf, and future episodes. Does MLM end on a high note? Or once again will this movie fall flat? Tune in and find out!

Greetings and salutations all! MLM continues to roll on and.........oh boy. Things have taken a turn for the worse and Elaine was the closest she has been to leaving me while watching this movie. MLM is proving to be a disaster but through it all, we persevere. So, get settled and get ready. Here is Stage Fright.

We are back! Apologies for missing our last episode but shit happens. However, we are bouncing back this week with the 1998 movie Black Dog starring Patrick Swayze, Randy Travis and Meat Loaf. due to Meat Loaf's passing I decided to kick off a 3 week Meat Loaf Mania and......we will see how this goes. We always have a very heated debate about whether meatloaf is a delicious food or not. So does Black Dog deliver? tune in to find out!

Better late than never. After a very tumultuous and very busy couple weeks we managed to squeeze this episode out. On this week's episode we are discussing the 2018 South Korean film Monstrum!

Hoe hoe hoe and Merry belated Christmas! X Mas is that special time that comes once a year and.....we missed it. But that's okay because today we are still in the spirit and watching the 2021 horror movie The Advent Calendar. We also discuss the age old question, could 100 naked men win a deathmatch against a Silverback gorilla? Tune in and find out!

HO HO HO AND MERRY CHRISTMAS! In typical FAF fashion, our Christmas episode is going to be late. However, this week we do have......something. This week, we cover the Japanese live action film Terra Formars. if you have ever wanted to see human bug hybrids engage in hand to hand combat with giant Brock Lesnar roach men well this is the movie for you. Elaine sat this one out but returning guest Tarvares and newcomer Kate help tackle this film and provide valuable insight.

Apologies for being a day late, a power outage and my terrible habit of putting things off proved to be a nasty combination. On this episode, Elaine goes in on musical genius Meat Loaf, we talk Uwe Boll, and we discuss the 2005 live action video game movie BloodRayne!

This week we are discussing the 2012 horror/animation film Gyo: Tokyo Fish Attack. As the title suggests, it is a bit......strange. Elaine sat this one out so I have my anime expert Tarvares weighing in on this odd film. Things are gonna get fishy when we tackle this week's movie. Will it be a catch of the day? Or does this one need to be tossed back? Let's fine out!

On this episode, we talk about John Woo and conclude our Lance Henriksen marathon with the 1993 action/martial arts film Hard Target. Who doesn't love some fuckin Jean-Claude Van Damme? And........Wilfred Brimley?

Unfortunately, we had to have a change of schedule. So here is a random episode we recorded that doesn't fall on the schedule. On this episode, we talk about the 2020 horror/comedy Slaxx. It's Canadian and about a sentient pair of killer blue jeans...that's...that's about it. Enjoy!

On this episode, I make some retractions, Elaine bashes Sean Connery, we discuss if Antonio Banderas is sexy, and the 1994 action movie No Escape.

On this episode of Fat Attack Features, our homie Lawyer James comes by to talk about the star packed action western The Quick and the Dead. Did it hit the mark? Or was it a misfire? Tune in and find out!

On this episode we talk about the 1987 Near Dark as the Lance Henriksen marathon kicks off! Fair warning, I uhhhhhh, was a bit too lit this go around. Enjoy!

On today's episode we talk about the 2020 film Swallow. A touching film about some bitch who eats random stuff. Was it delectable? Or was it hard to stomach? Tune in to find out!