For those who are looking to gain traction and momentum as they move away from the destructive effects of porn and porn behaviors and pursue the life and relationships they dream of.
Back in Episode 73 I introduced the idea of the Acting Out Cycle using the picture of a Stopwatch. In looking back I felt I could give a more robust explanation of how to actually stop ourselves from just repeating the same cycle over and over. To do this I add a new step - PREEMPT - and share from some of my recent examples how to put this into practice.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
It is not uncommon in our early recovery to feel anxious that a next relapse is just around the corner. Is there a way to grow in our confidence as we start out on this journey?If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
One of the reasons we are unsuccessful long term in porn recovery is because of some of the ways of thinking we practice. One problematic thing that guys tell themselves is that "they are good" or 'they are strong" which is experientially true at the time. The probem is that we are good (until we are not!)If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
What is the difference between real sex and our porn binges? The differences might explain why some people confess that real sex is hard and less exciting than our porn world. In this episode Vern explores that uncomfortable question and how we can grow towards real intimacy with a real person.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
What if positive feelings toward your wife were a powerful motivator to move away from porn. In this episode Vern builds on a recent book he read called "Cherish" by Gary Thomas.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
Country songs are known for their - "if only I knew then what I know now" regret songs.In this episode we ask a sobering question - is the door to your marriage closing and share a principle that Vern has practiced and taught for 40 years.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
Have you ever wondered what set you up for your struggle with porn? In this interview Vern talks with Tim Fletcher who is an extremely popular Youtube expert on the subject all things trauma and attachement.In addition to Tim Fletchers Youtube Channel you can find some of his helpful information on his website https://www.timfletcher.ca/If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
When porn use is disclosed (or found out) in a relationships it often comes with a thudding crash. In this episode expert Barbara Steffens talks through the impact this can have on a woman and steps that both men and women can take in their navigating a path forward.What can we learn from a relapse? In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent relapse in the hopes that it can also be instructive to other listeners. The song at the end can be downloaded in the circle learning platform below...If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. If you want to reach out to Vern with recovery questions, to have a free zoom call with him or find out how you can move towards your porn recovery goals then reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
What can we learn from a relapse? In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent relapse in the hopes that it can also be instructive to other listeners. The song at the end can be downloaded in the circle learning platform below...If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404
In this episode Vern goes back to the topic of dealing with a wave of temptation and craving. In this episode he argues that we need to strengthen our understanding of connection and also introduces a couple of "Go To's" that he uses when he is in the middle of experience a Wave.The first reading is based on the Bible App (Psalm 119 - the Message)The second reading can be found here:A Liturgy for One Battling a Destructive Desire (read by Doug McKelvey)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ_o_sMBuCoIf you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404
Do you ever feel that craving hits you like a big wave? In this episode Vern provides hope that the next big wave doesn't need to overwhelm you!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404
Most of us are tempted to think that our porn use is free. Sure we may not be "paying" for porn but you are paying in ways you many not even realize it. Today we talk about the "hidden costs" of our porn use.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2If you are looking to connect with Vern for a free zoom call or to discuss your recovery needs you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
Did you ever start a day feeling "off". Today's podcast is all about "dialling your day" in to maximize the chance of the day going well.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2If you are looking to connect with Vern for a free zoom call or to discuss your recovery needs you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
This episode is a bit different. One of the benefits of recovery from constantly battling with porn is that you can now start to think more clearly about how you want your life to go. In this episode Vern shares 10 principles he has landed on to guide his thoughts and actions.A summary of these principles is found on the circle learning platform under Free Resources.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2If you are looking to connect with Vern for a free zoom call or to discuss your recovery needs you can reach out to him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
One of the biggest challenges that is new in the porn recovery area is the new pattern of staying away from porn but engaging in all sorts of porn adjacent behaviors. Sure its not porn but it is just a perpetuation of the same sort of addictive behavior with the same sort of negative results. In this episode Vern challenges us to change the way we look at some of our online behaviors.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my free circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2We are starting a brand new group for 2025! This group will consist of 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting January 2025 on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. To access my website - go to https://bandofbrothers.care
We spend a lot of time trying to block ourselves from external threats using content filters, removing problematic apps etc. The peskier problem, however, has to do with our emotions. Wherever we go there we are. In this episode Vern unpackages what those problematic emotions are, the way porn promises to meet those emotions and how we can transtion to meeting those real emotional needs in healthier ways.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my free circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2We are starting a brand new group for 2025! This group will consist of 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting January 2025 on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. To access my website - go to https://bandofbrothers.care
What is the actual problems that porn causes men? Wtihout needing to take on the porn industry - I walk through as succintly as I can some of the common side effects that are proving so problematic with porn. So here's to avoiding a punch in the face!A summary of this article is found on my free circle platform.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my free circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2We are starting a brand new group for 2025! This group will consist of 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting January 2025 on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. To access my website - go to https://bandofbrothers.care
We are starting a brand new group for 2025! This group will consist of 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting January 2025 on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. To access my website - go to https://bandofbrothers.careIf you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my free circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
Today It is my priviledge to introduce a fellow recovery coach. Sathiya Sam has an inspiring story of how to walk free from porn and move towards a larger vision for one's life.Sathiya Sam's podcast is called "Man Within" and his recovery resources can be accessed at https://www.sathiyasam.com/We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. To access my website - go to https://bandofbrothers.careIf you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my free circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
As we get ready for Christmas - I thought I'd fill our stockings with some random recovery ideas. Yes they are random - but in them hopefully you can find something to avoid being nice (not naughty) this holiday season!We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
Last weeks' episode felt unfinished to me. I thought it would be great to have to have my fellow coach Matt Dobscheutz come on and add his thoughts to the topic of why some guys fail to achieve the recovery success they say they desire. We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
I have coached guys in porn recovery groups for many years. Over the years I have seen various guys try various things that have proven to be unhelpful in overcoming porn. In today's episode I explore 6 ways that I think that guys (even guys in groups) set themselves up to be unsuccessful in recovery.We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
When I meet new guys I like to ask them this question "How did porn get embedded in your life?" Over and over again I hear some version of the same story. Today I want to talk about the process about how porn became a problem for you because it provides clues for how we can begin to journey out of it.We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
Vern has been down in Brazil working with couples around marriage and men in the area of recovery. Take a listen to some of his thoughts and screwups direct from the land down under (the other land down under)We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions and discuss your recovery needs further.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
November 5th is a big day - its Guy Fawkes Day, Vern's Birthday and yes - the American election. How deal with the big feelings that will follow the election can make us truly vulnerable to relapse. Vern walks through how we navigate these strong emotions.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions and discuss your recovery needs further.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
There are two types of pathways we can walk in recovery - Plan A is the one we prefer and we have all tried it - unsuccessfully. This episode is about Plan B - and why we end up having to follow this route.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions and discuss your recovery needs further.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
A big step of recovery is when you turn around and help guys who are not as far along the journey as you are. Mac is one of the guys I coach and he has created a great podcast that he shares with younger guys - it's called porn free millenial and you can access it here. https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/porn-free-millennial-podcast/id1688517945On the episode Mac and I discuss how you can combat temptation by asking 3 questions:Then What?, So What? and Now What?We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
What is the Primal Need which drives your behaviors, informs your fears and causes you to reach for your medicine jar? (porn) In this episode Vern asks the question "If porn is our favorite solution, then what is the primal question we are seeking to answer or problem we are seeking to solve?If you are interested in reading the book, 7 Primal Questions, the author has the first three chapters available on his website: https://www.mikefoster.tv/downloadsYou can do a quick online survey to get a quick idea as to what your primal need is by going to the following link.https://primalquestion.typeform.com/to/DmcABGY6?typeform-source=www.primalquestion.comWe are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
We all know the things that we want to leave behind - do we have a clear sense of what we want to see grow in our life? In this episode Vern shares the result of a brainstorming session he did with a group of guys around the things they wanted to move toward. Funny thing - they all start with "C".We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a group for older guys in or near retirement and a few guys waiting to start a "Married with Children" group. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
When it comes to living in sustained recovery two of the most problematic words we can utter are the words "What If". Today I unpackage why those two words get us in trouble more often than we realize.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name and last initial (like Vern T.) Your email will remain hidden from other users. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
I've heard a number of pretty dumb things in coaching guys. I've even thought and said a few of them myself - the following are six of the dumbest things that I have come across.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. We can also arrange a free zoom call if you want to ask further questions.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage you to sign up for my circle learning platform. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your initials or an alibi. The following link will get you started (although if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app - white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=5388d93418377c032a4cc121558868401484a4f3-39382185-b376-4e67-8d18-183f81064cc2
frEver been in a bad recovery group? Ever felt nervous about joining a group because of the many ways it could go wrong? In this episode Vern explores how to tell when a group is toxic and when it is healthy.We are starting up new Finding Traction groups in September 2024. Normally groups are $149/month but if you sign up by August 31 - Vern is offering them at the old price of $99/month. The cost includes all 52 videos plus handouts to guide our time together. To get more information about these groups email Vern at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com before the cutoff.Vern also has a brand new free circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to this platform join up using the following link - if privacy is a concern use your initials or an alibi for your name... (I have my regular name and I have another called Tom Landry - so you can find me!)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=8d825f78fb7ab7799afecc60b14da24d5e99e2d7-092f3c5c-5d0d-4d29-b0d8-4b019811ddeb
Have you ever heard of the saying "Eat Your Frogs" I hadn't! But today we talk about an issue that many porn strugglers have embedded in their lives - their propensity to procastinate!Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to this platform join up using the following link - if privacy is a concern use your initials or an alibi for your name... (I have my regular name and I have another called Tom Landry - so you can find me!)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=8d825f78fb7ab7799afecc60b14da24d5e99e2d7-092f3c5c-5d0d-4d29-b0d8-4b019811ddebIf you are looking for some further support you may want to take advantage of our monthly community group (last Sunday of the month at 6 p.m. Pacific time on zoom) or you may be interested in our weekly Finding Traction groups which journey through the finding traction course together in groups of 5-7 guys.If you want more informtion on these (or for any other reason - like football advice) you can contact me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
What if we have a relapse after a long period of sobriety? In this episode Vern shares from his life about how demoralizing this can be but also how to get back up on our feet with the proper perspective.Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to this platform join up using the following link - if privacy is a concern use your initials or an alibi for your name... (I have my regular name and I have another called Tom Landry - so you can find me!)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=8d825f78fb7ab7799afecc60b14da24d5e99e2d7-092f3c5c-5d0d-4d29-b0d8-4b019811ddebIf you are looking for some further support you may want to take advantage of our monthly community group (last Sunday of the month at 6 p.m. Pacific time in zoom) or you may be interested in our weekly Finding Traction groups which journey through the finding traction course together in groups of 5-7 guys.If you want more informtion on these (or for any other reason - like football advice) you can contact me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
Ever seen that Snickers Ad - "I'm not myself when I'm hungry"? Today we introduce a marriage tip called Filters that has been of immense benefit to myself. To add a living example I introduce one of my coaching clients, Jim, who has applied this to his marriage.I love to help guys walk away from porn toward a fuller richer live.If you are looking for some free resources go to the website bandofbrothers.care and click on the Free stuff tab.To contact me, Vern, you can email me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
What if you could write a letter to the younger version of yourself? What would you say? In this episode Vern introduces the idea of writng a letter to the future you - towards a specific recovery application.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as information on the 52 week video course "Finding Traction" you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
Remember what it's like to walk out of the final exam of your degree or finish a project you have been working on for years? Today Vern shares is sense of accomplishment regarding a recovery project he has been laboring over for the last few years.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as information on the 52 week video course "Finding Traction" you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
Many guys express that they have noticed that their acting out tends to be cyclical and regular. They often feel that they come up to a wall that they cannot get over in terms of days clean. in this episode Vern talks about how to ovecome these embedded walls that have tripped us up.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as information on the 52 week video course "Finding Traction" you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
Most peoople who struggle with porn actually believe some version of the mistaken belief "I'll die without sex" In this episode Vern explores how that belief may be closer to home than you care to admit.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as information on the 52 week video course "Finding Traction" you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
In this episode Vern shares a useful tool to be more strategic in how you handle this coming summer. If you want a copy of this weekly planning tool email him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com and put the word weekly tool in the subject line.Another way to get the tool is to go to the website https://bandofbrothers.care and click the free stuff tab. You can sign up for this resource as well as a number of other tools to help you grow in your recovery.
One of the biggest strategic challenges in our recovery is dealing with the many transitions we face. In this episode I look at the challenges of these transitions - both big and small.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as informatin on the finding traction podcast you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
Do you ever feel like the enemy is seeking to push past your borders and take ground that should be rightfully yours. Today we use the example of the war in Ukraine as an example of the steps we need to take to regain lost territory in our life.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as informatin on the finding traction podcast you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
When most of us started recovery we thought we needed to just tweak a few things so that stopped our problematic porn patterns. What we soon find, however, is that recovery is a window into the disfynctional way we have been doing our lives and a springboard into a whole new set into new life patterns!If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as informatin on the finding traction podcast you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
Is our porn drive the same as our sex drive? In this episode Vern explores the differences between the two and how returning to our normal sex drive is the goal of our porn recovery.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comWe offer both weekly finding traction groups using our 52 week video course as well as a monthly connection meeting where you can join with other guys committed to walking away from porn and moving toward a much much better life!If you are looking for some free resources as well as informatin on the finding traction podcast you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
Most of us would like to reverse engineer our last relapse so it doesn't happen again. In this episode Vern looks at the idea of 3 different dimensions of a relapse and how to reverse anticipate what will take place when we are drawn to porn the next time.In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who subscribe for $10/month. On the last Sunday night of each month we will be offering our subscribers an opportunity to connect with other like minded guys around the topic of porn recovery. I'll be sharing a short lesson and there will be an opportunity to ask question and hear from other guys as to what has worked for them. For our subscribers we will also send out a link to the first 13 weeks of the video course Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn. Each quarter you are in the group I will be sending out the next quarter for you.To receive your zoom link for our monthly meetings as well as the link to Quarter 1 of the Finding Traction course send me (Vern) an email with the word "Community" in the subject line to bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
What happens when life feels "Meh..." Today we talk about the term recovery doldrums - the feeling that you could use a pick me up to compensate for feeling "off".In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who subscribe for $10/month. On the last Sunday night of each month we will be offering our subscribers an opportunity to connect with other like minded guys around the topic of porn recovery. I'll be sharing a short lesson and there will be an opportunity to ask question and hear from other guys as to what has worked for them. For our subscribers we will also send out a link to the first 13 weeks of the video course Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn. Each quarter you are in the group I will be sending out the next quarter for you.To receive your zoom link for our monthly meetings as well as the link to Quarter 1 of the Finding Traction course send me (Vern) an email with the word "Community" in the subject line to bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com
Is there as way to look at our recovery in a series of stages. In this episode Vern looks at some of the stages common to recovery, how we can get stuck at any one stage, and how we can proceed to truly walking a life of freedom and blessing.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you are looking for some free resources as well as informatin on the finding traction podcast you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
There is a funny super bowl ad that says to remember something you need to forget something. In this podcast Vern talks about the role that forgetting plays in our relapses and the need to bring specific things to mind.If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you are looking for some free resources as well as informatin on the finding traction podcast you can check out the websitehttps://bandofbrothers.care
When I tell guys about what caused a tipping point in my recovery - I often forget to include an event that helped cement some of the recovery changes that were happening. In this episode I explore the value of that experience by inviting Daugherty of Be Broken Ministry to discuss what can be an invaluable recovery experience - the Intensive.If you want to connect with Vern (and he loves to hear from guys) you can contact him atbandofbrothers.care@gmail.comIf you want to find some free resources as well as information on the Finding Traction course you can check him out on his website https://www.bandofbrothers.care/If you want to connect with Jonathan Daugherty you can connect with him and the Be Broken Ministry at https://www.bebroken.org
© 2020-2025 Ivy Podcast Discovery LLC
