Podcasts about Celebrate Recovery

We love that this ministry puts us on a path and trajectory with other fellow strugglers in life that we call forever family. Sitting down and having heart-to-heart conversations is such a gift and, in this episode, that gift was so appreciated. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of Celebrate Recovery, sits down with Noah Whitaker, celebrate recovery representative of North Dakota, to have a conversation around recovery and specifically step 10 and how we can serve in a healthy posture and not out of codependency. They also discuss why and how celebrate recovery is so vital for the entire family and the impact on Noah's life growing up in recovery.

WHAT IS SPIRITUALITY REALLY? This episode of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast explores the true meaning of spirituality, its misconceptions, and how it relates to faith, religion, and personal growth. Hosts Monty Meyer and Tom Williams delve into the differences between biblical spirituality and popular interpretations, emphasizing the importance of clarity and relationship with God. Also, we answer your email. Closing Song: Good by Matthew West. Key Topics ·         The broad definition of spirituality and its many interpretations·         The difference between biblical spirituality and New Age concepts·         How feelings influence perceptions of spirituality·         The importance of defining what spirituality means to each person·         The role of relationship with God in true spirituality #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

Listen as the Celebrate Recovery team leads us in worship!

This week, we heard powerful testimonies from our Celebrate Recovery ministry!

THE FOUR ABSOLUTES. In this episode, Monty and Roger look at the extremely ridiculous new laws that govern our water sports, play True or False and then on to the main topic. They explore the four absolutes—honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love—and their vital role in moral and spiritual growth. They discuss how these principles guide behavior, foster personal transformation, and are rooted in Christian teachings and early recovery movements. Closing Song: The Four Absolutes by Monty D. Meyer performed by Samual Artian. Key Topics ·         The origins of the four absolutes in Christian and recovery history·         The practical application of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love·         The role of these principles in personal and spiritual development·         The challenge of living by these absolutes in a modern world·         The connection between the four absolutes and the 12-step program·         The importance of continuous self-inventory and moral standards·         The biblical basis for the four absolutes, especially Philippians 4:8·         The impact of these principles on relationships and community·         The concept of spiritual progress versus perfection·         The relevance of the four absolutes for everyone, not just addicts or alcoholics #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

As God's children who are serving in ministry, sometimes the first thing to go in our walk is learning how to rest in Christ. Busyness can be one of the greatest enemies to sustainability and longevity in ministry. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of Celebrate Recovery, sits down with West Regional Director Jeff Redmond to discuss what it looks like practically to rest in Christ and some things that he's learned in his walk as a believer and recovery.

For most guys, the porn recovery journey does not represent a straight line but is more like a series of plateaus and tipping points. In this episode Vern explores why we hit plateaus (resistant points) and how new tipping points can further the sucess we are finding in our recovery.To download a copy of the diagram Vern refers to in this episode signp for the free circle learning app below.  If you are already on Vern's circle learning app - you can find it under Free Resources.https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404Here is a link to the 25 minute talk that Vern gives for Celebrate Recovery groups - feel free to use it for your group.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH55InJyan8Are you struggling with porn and wondering how to break free? Finding Traction: Freedom from Porn is a  porn recovery podcast designed to help men and women who feel stuck in addiction. Whether you're saying, “I hate porn,” “I want to quit watching porn,” or “I have a porn problem,” this show gives you real hope and practical steps. Each episode explores how to quit porn, how to stop a porn addiction, and how to live porn free. You'll discover methods to quit porn, no-fap strategies, steps to quit porn, and the tools to stop watching porn for good. Together, we'll talk about overcoming porn addiction, beating the porn habit, and finding life after porn. Porn addiction recovery is possible. Through personal stories, and proven strategies, you'll learn how to be porn free, build a new life of freedom from porn, and experience real change. If you've been searching for a porn recovery program, help stopping porn, or just answers to “Why quit porn?”, you're in the right place. It's time to find power over porn, break free from porn, and start living porn free. Subscribe now and begin your journey to freedom.

LETTING PEOPLE BE PEOPLE. This episode of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast explores the importance of letting people be themselves, managing expectations, and practicing patience and compassion in recovery and everyday life. Hosted by Monty Meyer and Tom Williams, it offers practical insights on handling difficult behaviors, setting healthy boundaries, and extending grace to others. We also answer listener email. Closing Song: No Longer a Slave to Fear by Jonathan Helsen. Key Topics ·         The importance of letting people be themselves·         Handling difficult behaviors and setting boundaries·         The role of patience, tolerance, and grace in recovery #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

In recent years, the celebrate recovery global ministry has expanded the way churches can become a celebrate recovery ministry by hosting open share group only within their church. God is doing remarkable things through this function of the ministry and lives are being changed & pointed to Christ. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field, Director of Celebrate Recovery, sits down with Todd Harris, a CR representative in California to hear his heart and how he believes that a revival is spreading through the nation through this new approach to reaching more people through the church and open share group only. Listen to Todd's passion and heart for Jesus and the ministry of celebrate recovery and be inspired.

Carol grew up in a home where church and service to others was paramount. This was a wonderful thing as it prompted her to pursue social work, but it also had its detriments - which Carol didn't recognize for many decades. She didn't know she had a savior complex. Or codependency issues. Or a desire to control people and situations. But then a series of heavy circumstances hit Carol and her family, and she could no longer ignore the truth. One, she had work to do, and two, she needed help. Carol joined Al Anon and Celebrate Recovery, and in finding the support of others in recovery, she began her own journey to hope and true strength. Now it's her mission to share that hope with others.Join Sanghoon and Michelle as they talk with Carol, a social worker, consultant, and advocate for quality family support and training. Working across the non-profit sector and state government, she works to prevent child abuse through family resource centers, home visitation, and child development and parenting programs. Carol is also the co-dependent spouse of a recovering opioid and alcohol addict, a part of her story she honestly shares on this episode. Listen in and be encouraged.To connect with Carol: carollopinski@gmail.comTo learn about Carol's consulting services: https://lopinskiandassociates.com/

FINDING FREEDOM IN DISCIPLINE. This episode of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast we feature a deep discussion on discipline, spiritual growth, and overcoming life's challenges. Hosted by Monty Meyer and Tom Williams, they explore the importance of routines, faith, and practical steps to achieve freedom and stability. We also answer your email. Closing Song: Alive & Free by Monty D. Meyer Key Topics ·         The role of discipline in recovery and personal growth·         How routines and habits lead to freedom and stability·         Biblical perspectives on authority, headship, and spiritual gifts·         The significance of emotional sobriety and managing stress·         Practical advice on developing discipline and overcoming laziness

Connect with me here in text… tell me where you are listening. Chains, uncertainty, and pressure are guaranteed in life, so the real question is what keeps you moving when the cost gets real. We sit with Acts 20:22–24 and Paul's fierce clarity: he walks forward knowing suffering awaits, yet he's determined to finish his race with joy. That kind of joy is not hype and it is not denial. It is what happens when the gospel of the grace of God becomes more precious than our own comfort, control, or safety.From there, we get painfully practical about vision and calling. I share my own pattern of getting excited about “new and doable” ideas, then watching motivation fizzle out, and why that reveals the difference between personal preference and true conviction. Then Malawi puts a face on the word “need.” Clean water wells stop being an abstract project and become a daily line of buckets, a village searching for water, and a ministry we cannot casually walk away from. Love does that. It makes the mission stick.That's where the phrase “a bleedable vision” comes in: a God formed burden you refuse to stop, even when it costs time, predictability, approval, and comfort. We connect that to long haul ministry like Celebrate Recovery, where endurance is proven in staying when it is hard, unclear, and unrewarded. We close with questions you can use to test what drives your decisions and a simple prayer for surrender.If this challenges you, share it with a friend who feels stuck, then subscribe and leave a review so more people can find the conversation. What would you be willing to stay with when it gets difficult?Support the showwww.Turning180.com

TIRED OF WAITING ON GOD AND OTHERS? This episode explores the importance of patience, trust in God's timing, and how waiting can lead to spiritual growth and better relationships. Hosted by Monty Meyer and Roger McDiarmid, it offers practical insights and personal stories about overcoming impatience and embracing divine timing. Key Topics ·         The meaning of waiting and patience in spiritual life·         How waiting develops trust and character·         Practical steps to practice patience in daily life·         The role of God's timing in recovery and relationships#recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

Connect with me here in text… tell me where you are listening. A vision can feel inspiring right up until it asks something from you. We start with Paul in Acts 20:22–24, heading toward Jerusalem with no promises of comfort, only a steady warning of chains and tribulation and still he says, “none of these things move me”, because he wants to finish his race with joy. That tension sets the stage for a deeper question: how do we follow Jesus with endurance when the path is costly and unclear?We tell a real story of how abstract problems become personal when you see faces and names. Malawi is no longer “needs somewhere overseas” but people we've eaten with, prayed with, and grown to love. One well becomes a lifeline for thousands, and then the request comes for a second well, forcing an honest confession: we can't easily say yes with limited resources and we also can't say no. That is where purpose and mission stop being theory and start reshaping priorities, giving, and leadership.From there we define what we call a “bleedable vision” and we draw a hard line between preference and conviction. Preference fades when it gets inconvenient; a surrendered calling stays when it gets resisted, when it costs more than expected, and when nobody claps. We share the long-haul cost of ministry through Celebrate Recovery and ask the questions that matter: What drives your decisions? What have you walked away from too easily? What matters to God that needs to matter to you?If you're hungry for Christian purpose, discipleship, leadership, and a faith that holds under pressure, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs courage, and leave a review with your answer: what is one “yes” you know you need to give?Support the showwww.Turning180.com

In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, global field director of celebrate recovery, will continue the conversation of understanding how our childhood can play into our present day today. What are some other things that we need to be aware of and how our present behavior might be connected with a root from our past, that needs our attention. Listen in and explore some thoughts and reflective questions to think about as we lean into the greater part of our story to take to the One who heals the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

LET'S TALK MAKING AMENDS. From The Best of The Came to Believe Recovery Podcast . The hosts discuss the concept of making amends in recovery. They explore the difference between an apology and an amends, emphasizing that an amends involves taking action to repair the harm caused. They also discuss the importance of sincerity and genuine change in making amends. The hosts share personal examples and address the challenges of making amends when the other person may not be emotionally mature or receptive. They also touch on the idea that making amends is not about seeking forgiveness, but about taking responsibility and changing one's behavior. In this conversation, Tom, Monty, and Alicia discuss the importance of making amends in recovery. They also touch on the concept of forgiving oneself and the importance of being emotionally sober. The conversation concludes with personal stories of amends that went well and one that went badly. Closing Song: I'm Not Who I was by Brandon Heath. #aa #na #alcoholicsanonymous #recovery #recovered #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #narcoticsanonymous #traditions #addiction #bigbook  

The Slow Fade Nobody Talks About (Ep. 191) What happens when addiction slowly rewires your identity, relationships, thinking, and sense of self — and grace still finds you anyway?  In this powerful episode of Genuine Life Recovery, author, speaker, and ministry leader Nikole Thompson shares her raw testimony of surviving methamphetamine addiction, pornography, destructive relationships, sexual brokenness, shame, and emotional chaos before discovering lasting healing through faith, recovery, and transformation. Nikole and her husband have spent years serving in ministry across the country — from church planting in New Orleans to Celebrate Recovery leadership, prison outreach, and helping people rebuild their lives after addiction and trauma. In 2021, she released her book 50 Shades of Truth, a deeply honest account of her journey from darkness to freedom. Now celebrating nearly 20 years free from methamphetamine and the destructive lifestyle surrounding addiction, Nikole speaks openly about mental wellness, identity, recovery, spiritual healing, toxic influences, and the slow compromises that can quietly pull people away from themselves and those they love. This episode is honest, emotional, hopeful, and deeply encouraging for anyone struggling with addiction, shame, anxiety, codependency, pornography, identity confusion, or hopelessness. No matter how far gone you feel, healing is possible. Find out more here!  Talking Points / Episode Highlights The “slow fade” into addiction and destructive thinking How trauma and culture shape identity Meth addiction and the chaos that followed Pornography, shame, and mental health struggles Recovery, healing, and rebuilding a marriage The connection between media, mindset, and emotional wellness What true freedom and restoration look like Celebrate Recovery and ministry after addiction How faith transformed her life and family Her book 50 Shades of Truth and why she wrote it Hope for anyone battling addiction or identity struggles Learning to rebuild your life one healthy decision at a time

If you want to give through Grace Church you can do so here: https://pushpay.com/g/grace-alone?src=hpp&r=monthlyConnected: Where Life and Relationships Begin is a 7-week journey designed to help you experience the life God created you for—rooted in Him and lived out in authentic relationships. This series will challenge and encourage you to stay connected daily and live with purposeTo Learn more about Grace Church go to https://gracechurchco.com/In this message, Pastor Rick Long discusses the biblical principles of healthy love and relationships, drawing from the Book of Ruth to illustrate how God orchestrates connections for those who put Him first (8:05, 15:55).Core Principles for Healthy Relationships:Put God at the Center (21:35): Rather than seeking a partner to complete you—a notion the pastor identifies as a cultural lie—individuals should first prioritize their relationship with God, as only He can fulfill that role (29:38, 30:01).Pursue Commitment Over Chemistry (31:28): While attraction is real, long-term healthy love is built on character, loyalty, and dedication to God's plan, not just physical chemistry (33:14, 35:13).Honor Boundaries (39:18): Boundaries are presented as tools to protect love and integrity rather than restrictions. The pastor encourages maintaining purity and avoiding sexual compromise before marriage (40:03, 44:41).Invite Wise Counsel (49:43): Relying on godly, experienced voices is essential for avoiding isolation and navigating life's challenges. The pastor emphasizes the value of community and resources like Celebrate Recovery (50:13, 51:28).Trust God Beyond Your Control (52:39): Regardless of circumstances, trusting in God's sovereignty allows for peace and eventual restoration, as seen in the lineage of Ruth and Boaz (53:19).The Ultimate Example:Pastor Long concludes that the story of Ruth and Boaz points to the greater love story of Jesus Christ, the ultimate Kinsman-Redeemer, who died to buy humanity back from sin (56:00).Additional Notes:The message opens with a celebration of the Forge Christian High School girls' soccer team state championship win and highlights the church's ongoing community and educational initiatives (0:51, 1:01:17).0:00 Welcome to Grace Church0:41 Introduction to the Connect Series0:51 Celebrating Forge Christian High School Girls Soccer State Title8:05 Healthy Love Starts Here12:35 Worldly views vs. God's view of relationships15:55 The Book of Ruth: A model for love21:35 Principle 1: Put God at the center31:28 Principle 2: Pursue commitment over chemistry39:18 Principle 3: Honor boundaries49:43 Principle 4: Invite wise counsel52:39 Principle 5: Trust God beyond your control56:00 The ultimate Kinsman-Redeemer: Jesus57:30 Invitation to trust in Jesus1:01:17 Final announcements and closing worship

Celebrate Recovery leader, Jeremy Carnahan shares a special message with the church today.

ALCOHOL IN THE CHURCH. From The Best of Take 12 Radio. Do intoxicating beverages have any place within the faith community? What about Christians who claim it's OK to consume alcohol? Some strong words coming your way. Take a listen, I dare ya! #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

In the recovery journey, we are lifelong learners. Sometimes things can show up and give us information that is so important that we lean into so that we can understand our greater story. The goal is not to keep us stuck there or even shame or blame our family system, but understand it so that we can ultimately grow toward healing. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, global field director of celebrate recovery will unpack this important topic and help us consider some things to think about so that we can continue the growth process.

We all have a deep longing for belonging, but fear or past hurts often keep us from engaging in true community. This week, Pastor Daniel Lee introduces the "Johari Window" framework to show how the Holy Spirit uses faith communities—like Rooted, Life Groups, or Celebrate Recovery—to move us out of hiding and into transformation.By bringing our hidden sins, blind spots, and unknown fears into the open "arena" of supportive relationships, we invite God's healing light. Discover why the phrase "come as you are" is an invitation to bring your authentic self to church so that, step by step, you can become exactly who God created you to be.

ADDICTION IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS. From The Best of Take 12 Radio. Monty interviews Mark Ibanez, former Sports Director for FOX KTVU Channel 2. Mark is the longest tenured Bay Area sportscaster in history with 4 Emmys and 16 Emmy nominations. Mark shares his experience as it relates to addiction in the world of sports. Closing Song: Petaluma by Norman Greenbaum. #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

Grief is one of the most complex aspects of the recovery journey that we will all walk through. There is an element of grief in all of our stories that we may not even be aware of. Some grief has a funeral that follows, and some grief doesn't. In this episode, RodneyHolmstrom, global field, director of Celebrate recovery, will unpack and help us understand how some of the losses of what never was or shattered dreams are just as important to grieve and organize toward healing as any other aspect of grief. Healing happens when we organize and name the grief with God and safe community.

Wesley Farnsworth grew up in a pastor's home with a deep faith, a desire to fit in, and a set of expectations he placed entirely on himself. A chance online search as a teenager opened a door to addiction that he would quietly battle for the next 20 years, all while building an impressive career as a US Air Force photographer, capturing everything from war zones to presidential inaugurations. In this honest and moving conversation, Wesley shares how shame kept him locked in silence, what finally pushed him to walk through the doors of a Celebrate Recovery meeting, and the extraordinary moment when telling the truth set him free.   Now an author, speaker, and Celebrate Recovery leader, Wesley Farnsworth is on a mission to help others take off their masks and step into the life God has for them. He talks about his book The Blueprint of Becoming, which uses the metaphor of stars and navigation to explore how our choices shape our lives and why God needs to be our North Star. He also gives a glimpse into his upcoming book When Faith Meets Fire, a deeply personal reflection on maintaining faith through unemployment, illness, and loss. This is a warm, candid, and deeply encouraging episode for anyone who's ever felt too broken or too ashamed to ask for help.   Wesley Farnsworth's Website

With Ricky Smith—Founder & Managing Partner, Inspired Wealth Planning Overview Jason Diamond speaks with Ricky Smith of Inspired Wealth Planning about leaving Edward Jones after 30 years, evaluating 12 firms, and building an independent business that grew to $1.25B in assets under care in less than three years. Listen in… > Download a transcript of this episode… NOTE: The views and opinions expressed by the guests on this podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Diamond Consultants. Neither Diamond Consultants nor the guests on this podcast are compensated in any way for their participation. Watch… https://youtu.be/cobAfEl0_To About this episode… What happens when you stop thinking like a renter and start thinking like an owner? Not just in theory, but in how you run your business, make decisions, and show up for clients. For Ricky Smith, that question didn't come at the beginning of his career. It came 30 years later, after building a highly successful practice at Edward Jones and beginning to see the business through a different lens. Today, Ricky is the founder and managing partner of Inspired Wealth Planning, the independent firm he built with Kestra Private Wealth Services. Since launching in March 2023, the firm has grown to over $1.25B in assets under its care across seven locations. What makes this story interesting isn't just the move—it's how intentional it was. Ricky didn't rush into independence. He spent a year evaluating 12 different firms and paths, clarifying what mattered most, and ultimately making a decision based on people and alignment, not just economics. Ricky shares his journey with Jason Diamond, including: His approach to due diligence—and why he dove deeper into the weeds before he was satisfied with his next steps. Reconsidering the wirehouse model—and why he felt independence was the best path forward. The “ownership mindset”—and how that drives his values and processes. The early phase of independence—and why it's less about growth and more about getting the structure right. Growing by 50%—and what “breakthroughs” he had in less than three years. Ricky offers the perspective that making the leap to independence may be “short-term hard,” but you're working toward building a business that's designed to be “long-term easy.” And there's another broader idea worth paying attention to: Most advisors don't lack options; they hesitate to act on them. Listen in for sage advice from an advisor who has lived in the wirehouse world and is now independent—and has realized the value of ownership. Want to learn more about where, why, and how advisors like you are moving? Click to contact us or call 908-879-1002. Related Resources Diamond Consultants Edward Jones Advisor Transition Report 2025This “firm-focused report” seeks to look under the hood at movement to and from Edward Jones from January to June of 2025. The Cost of Clarity: What Advisors Stand to Gain and Lose When Their Firm Shows Its HandWhen firms become explicit about who and what they value, it's time for advisors to read those signals and respond. The Advisor Transition Playbook: The Latest on Due Diligence, the Move, and Everything In Between – Part 2Jason and Mindy Diamond revisit the transition playbook, this time focused on how advisor priorities are shifting. From AI and enterprise value to stability and flexibility, they unpack what's changing in due diligence and what it means for advisors evaluating their next move. Ricky SmithManaging Partner Ricky Smith is the founder and Managing Partner of Inspired Wealth Planning. Inspired Wealth Planning is group of like minded veteran financial advisors who serve their clients and local communities across Georgia and now even Ohio. Before founding Inspired, Ricky worked as a financial advisor for 39 years. Primarily as an employee of a nationwide financial firm. Wanting to have more control over the outcomes for clients, his team and his own career, he left the employee model to join an independent firm – Kestra Private Wealth Services. After opening the Kestra based office, other advisors inquired about joining Inspired. Within the first 36 months, Inspired grew to 7 locations, 10 advisors, 14 support staff and over $1.2 billion in assets under care. In February 2026, Inspired was selected as the Outstanding Business of the Year for Kestra Financial (the parent company of Kestra Private Wealth). This was the first time that any firm from Kestra Private Wealth had ever been selected for that award. In early April the firm was on the cover of Advisor Hub magazine and in mid-April, Ricky was selected for the Forbes/Shook Best in State Wealth Advisors for the state of Georgia. An Honor that he has received 3 times in the past 5 years. Ricky lives in Cordele Georgia with his wife, Patti and their tuxedo cat Oreo. They have a daughter, Brooke, who lives in Maryland. Ricky has been a loyal member and participant with the local Chamber of Commerce for 42 years, serving as chairman in 1999. He and Patti are long-time members of Cordele First Church and supporters of the local chapter of Celebrate Recovery.

POWERLESSNESS & UNMANAGEABILITY.  From The Best of The Came to Believe Recovery Podcast.When did we realize we were powerless over our addictions and when did we come to admit our lives were unmanageable? Join Tom, Alicea and your host the Montyman for this important discussion on Episode #2 of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast. #aa #na #alcoholicsanonymous #recovery #recovered #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #narcoticsanonymous #traditions #addiction #bigbook  

12 STEP MEETING ADDICTION. From The Best of Take 12 Radio. Many have said that meeting makers are the ones who succeed in recovery, but can one become so meeting dependent that they switch from their drug or alcohol addiction to meeting addiction, allowing the meetings to take priority over every aspect of their lives? Should our emphasis be on the meetings we make or the Steps we take? Join the Monty'man as he brings back this show from September 2010 with cohosts Mason C., Brad H., and special guest Devon. Closing Song: Road to Recovery by Leah Martinsen. #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

One of the schemes from the enemy is to convince us to keep those past stories and the scary parts of our heart in hiding and in that dark cave. But there is a high cost to hiding and staying in a place of secrecy. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, global field director of celebrate recovery, will unpack the importance of our story and understanding how naming all parts of our story leads to healing so that we can walk in healing and a new beautiful story that God has painted for us.

WHEN YOU FEEL LIKLE GIVING UP (Surrender vs Submission). In this episode of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast, Monty and Tom explore the differences between surrender and submission, especially in the context of recovery when we feel like giving up on ourselves. They discuss how these concepts impact our spiritual journey, the importance of active choice, and practical ways to embrace these principles daily. Answer and responding to our listeners is also featured along with some whining about things we have no power over. Closing Song: I Keep Going by Anonymous. Key Topics ·         Difference between surrender and submission·         The active nature of submission·         How surrender leads to freedom·         Practical steps to surrender and submit daily #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

If you're typing “Celebrate Recovery near me” into Google because you’re desperate for help after discovering that your husband has been lying to you about his infidelity or his use of inappropriate material, you're not alone. BEFORE GOING TO CELEBRATE RECOVERY NEAR ME, CONSIDER THIS: 1. Recovery Programs Only work If He's Honest A recovery environment only works if your husband is completely honest about his behavior. Even in cases where he’s willing to attend a program, some women discover their husband takes “chips,” confesses slips, or shares breakthroughs in group without ever telling her. Not because he's changing, but because he's using the system to make it look like he's changing. 2. celebrate recovery near me Can't Fix Emotional Abuse When women search “Celebrate Recovery near me,” they often think the program will help heal their marriage by helping their husbands understand the root causes of their addiction and behaviors, especially if he seems willing to go meetings. But the root issue isn't addiction, it's entitlement, control, and dishonesty. Most recovery programs aren't designed to assess or confront coercive control. So instead of getting safer, some women end up feeling more confused. Before you invest your hope in any program, you deserve to understand the full picture. To discover if your husband is emotionally abusive, take this free emotional abuse quiz. 3. Some Men Use Recovery or Language as a Shield Many women report that once their husband joined a recovery group like Celebrate Recovery near me, he just learned to speak the language of recovery without actually changing. Instead of becoming more honest, some men become more skilled at hiding, using the right words, sharing at the right times, and appearing accountable…while the underlying patterns stay the same. This isn't necessarily the program's fault. Recovery culture tends to take disclosures at face value. But for some men, it becomes a stage rather than a mirror. 4. If He Gets Praise in Group but You Get Hurt at Home, Pay Attention The applause of a group like Celebrate Recovery near me can unintentionally reward performance. Your lived experience matters more than his report. If his recovery looks great publicly, but privately you feel scared, confused, dismissed, or blamed, that's a sign to step back and observe what’s happening. You don’t have to announce this to anyone 5. RECOVERY Programs Don't Replace Betrayal Trauma Support A program like Celebrate Recovery near me often uses a model that focuses on his trauma from childhood or his triggers. They may encourage couples to build routines that reduce his stress or triggers, sometimes placing more responsibility on her to monitor or support his progress. These might be good tools for people who genuinely want to heal. But they don't address lying, manipulation and entitlement. A woman in an emotionally abusive marriage needs support that centers her emotional safety, not his recovery timeline. 6. If You Feel Worse After the Program Starts, That Matters Many women assume feeling worse is a sign that they're a part of “the problem,” or they need to be “more supportive.” When his patterns of behavior become a shared problem…something you're both expected to manage…it often creates more emotional chaos for her. Her emotional safety needs to be addressed separately, not tied to how well he's doing or how much effort he appears to be making. Feeling confused, blamed, responsible for his recovery, or pressured to forgive and move forward…is a sign something else is happening. 7. Your EMOTIONAL SAFETY COMES BEFORE HIS RECOVERY STORY If you’re searching “Celebrate Recovery near me” to save your marriage, here's the most important thing: his recovery is not the foundation of your emotional safety. Your clarity is. It’s important to have your own support community in place that is educated in the dynamics of emotional and psychological abuse and can help you decide what you need for emotional safety. If you need support in addressing what's really happening, and whether a recovery program can help, you can start with the Living Free Workshop or BTR Group Sessions. They're designed to give you immediate clarity. Transcript: What Happened When I Googled “Celebrate Recovery Near Me” Anne: I’ve talked to hundreds of women who have typed things like “Celebrate Recovery near me”, or “addiction recovery program” into Google. Especially when their husband said he was an addict and he is willing to go to a program. So if he’s willing and goes to this program, it’s totally normal for a woman to think that things are gonna get better. But over the years, I’ve interviewed countless women who tell me things actually got worse. And I’m interviewing one of those women today. We’re gonna call her. Nancy. Here’s part of her story. Nancy: His coworker called me. She told me she was out with some friends. And he flirted with her and tried to pick her up. We were Going to Celebrate Recovery. He supposedly had been sober for months. Anne: We’re gonna get to her whole story, but before we do, I wanna stress that it’s important to understand that a manipulative man can use anything, a recovery program, therapy, even meeting with clergy to manipulate a woman further, and that causes a lot more harm and trauma. So before you start searching for a recovery program for your husband, it is important to consider what his recovery would be for and how abusers manipulate their victims. Most of the time, the therapist will say something like childhood wounds or addiction recovery. When really what you’re actually experiencing is emotional and psychological abuse. And I’ve even interviewed women who have tried to find an abuse program for their husband, and they still tell me the same things. So as you listen to Nancy’s story, I think it will help put into perspective what’s really going on and what steps you wanna take next. When I met him I thought he was a good guy Anne: That’s why I created the Living Free Workshop. It helps women know what’s going on, if he’s really abusive or not. Some women find out he’s not. And then what steps to take to create emotional safety in your life. It’s much faster to figure that out first, before spending tons of time and money in therapy or a recovery or Celebrate Recovery near me program. Living Free total run time is about two hours and 50 minutes, which is much shorter than three or four years to find out it’s not working. So Nancy, thank you so much for sharing your story today. Welcome, can you tell us how you met? Nancy: When I met him, he went to church. He served on the worship team, and he could talk like a preacher. So I thought he was a good guy. It was confusing, because we were play wrestling, and I wouldn’t have remembered this except I had written in a journal and I read it after everything fell apart. He held me down and said some things like, did you think you were stronger than me? Did you think I would let you go? It really scared me. I was very close to breaking up with him, but he actually cried and apologized. So I thought, he’s sorry. It’s not gonna happen again, and that sort of thing never happened again. He realized he had to be more subtle. He did tell me about his past sexual history. Mirroring my desire to serve missions Nancy: He was in the Navy and with several prostitutes. And he was honest, it felt like to me at the time. That he struggled with porn. I thought after we married, that wouldn’t be an issue. And honestly, I don’t know that anyone would’ve told me anything different. I wanted to serve in medical missions. He didn’t seem interested in this, so I prayed and left the relationship in God’s hands. I told him about how I prayed. And the next time we got together, he said, “He had been thinking and praying, and he really felt God moving his heart to missions. That everyone always thought he should be a missionary. It really blew me away, because I thought God had answered my prayer really fast. He knew that he was not only lying to me, he was also lying about God, and he chose it. Which makes him a really evil person. In pre-marital counseling, I was clear that I didn’t see myself as a housewife. I wanted things to be equal, and I didn’t plan to stop working. He acted like he was on the same page and that he was fine with this. So we married. Things were not good. In less than a year, he turned me down for sexual intimacy. Which was surprising and incredibly hurtful. Especially when I realized he was looking at porn. We went to see the movie Fireproof, and afterwards he admitted he was taking off his ring to flirt with people. I was trying to be very understanding, but I did feel hurt, and he got angry at me. He said this was the thanks he gets for staying away from porn for a couple weeks, which is not funny, but I’m laughing at the audacity. He Pushed Me to Quit Working While Avoiding Any Real Recovery or Celebrate Recovery Near Me Programs Nancy: I think I blocked a lot of it out, because somehow things were good enough back and forth between nice, the Christian thing, and when he would be not so nice. I didn’t recognize abuse. The only thing I could put my finger on was the sexual things. We never could solve how things were to be run. And now that we had children, he could step away and I would be forced to do more house duties, cooking, cleaning, et cetera. Because someone had to do all the things for the children. I would tell him what we had agreed before marriage, and he said, “Yeah, but I thought you would change after we had kids.” Anne: I said the same thing. I said, I’m not gonna cook. And he was like, no problem. Then later told me, I thought you would change. And I’m like, I was so clear. Nancy: Exactly, we’re both honest and open. It’s like, that doesn’t mean I have to change, just ’cause you thought I would change. Well, it did because we had children now that needed to be taken care of. Anne: Right. Nancy: The same thing I said, I didn’t wanna stop working.” And he would constantly try to get me to stop working. I was only working part-time. He wanted me to not have an escape route. We separated, but I was so exhausted and overwhelmed with a baby, 2-year-old, and a 5-year-old. We got back together pretty quickly. Discovering he was flirting with coworker Nancy: A year later, we separated again and went to couples counseling, ’cause I still had not seen how that was harmful. I was really hopeful, which seems funny after just like a week or two of separation. But his coworker called me and told me she had been out with some friends, and he was flirting with her and trying to pick her up. I thought this would be his rock bottom, because he’s almost lost his family. Anyway, we got back together and things were up and down. I was dealing with a lot of anger and depression, social anxiety. At the time, I thought I needed counseling to deal with my issues. We were going to Celebrate Recovery near me. His stated problems in Celebrate Recovery were sex addiction and anger. It’s so crazy knowing that, how could everybody there not believe anything I was saying? He supposedly had been sober for months because of all the addiction model stuff. We agreed that he would tell me if he ever had a slip within a certain amount of time. So at Celebrate Recovery, he went forward for a one-day chip, and that really shocked me because he wasn’t ever gonna tell me. When we agreed that he would. After that we had sex that was definitely, obviously coercive. I don’t think I had the words at the time, but I definitely felt that way because we had an agreement and he didn’t follow it. That was the last time we ever were together. He said he would throw me a 30th birthday party Nancy: I took a step back, and I was observing him because I felt like we were at the best place, and I’m actually an okay person. That means there’s nothing I’ve done wrong, literally. And there’s nothing I can do to change this. It just became increasingly clear to me. So I started looking for more information and came across BTR, but I didn’t listen to the episodes because I saw the word abuse. And thought that doesn’t apply to me. And I found a couple other podcasts. They didn’t fully explain everything, and then a really bad incident happened when I turned 30, a big birthday. Anne: They always do it on birthdays and holidays. Nancy: I know, I had always thrown him birthday parties. He’s an extrovert and that was something that he enjoyed and I didn’t mind, he didn’t throw me anything because I’m more of an introvert. So when I was going to turn 30, I told him that I’d like a birthday party and would like him to throw it for me. I said if he didn’t want to, let me know. ‘Cause it was important enough to me that I would throw it for myself. He said he would throw me the birthday party. But when I wasn’t seeing any preparations, I checked in with him. And the motions he made came across like he was planning a surprise birthday party. Anne: Like, let’s not talk about it. Or you might ruin your surprise. Nancy: Exactly, I had said, “I will throw it for myself.” I repeated that again, that time. He knew. He Claimed He ‘Forgot' My Birthday While Pretending Recovery Through SAA and Celebrate Recovery Near Me Groups Nancy: So my birthday comes up. I expect a surprise party around any corner. I come to the end of the day and nothing happened, nothing. And his excuse was forgetfulness. Anne: I never gave you the impression I was gonna throw you a party. Nancy: Yeah, It was always that gaslighting and blame shifting. I feel like I dissociated a little bit around that time. ‘Cause it was really hurtful, because I would have thrown it for myself. Anne: And he knew that and he gave you the impression that he was throwing you a party on purpose to ensure that you didn’t have a party. Nancy: Exactly, I actually believed him that it was on accident, but that was just as hurtful. Now, I believe it was fully on purpose. At the time I was going to COSA and he was going to an SAA group. Anne: When she says COSA or SAA, she’s talking about 12-Step recovery for pornography addicts or sexual addicts. There are other programs like Celebrate Recovery near me. And the COSA is a co sex addict’s 12-Step for a wife of an addict, where she basically does the same program he does and tries to fix her character defects. Nancy: Yeah, I’d been talking about giving him another chance to throw me a party, and they said if he already didn’t do it, you should not do that. So I ended up throwing myself a party. After that 30th birthday, I would get down around my birthday every year. I ended up telling him that, not in a way to blame him, because like I said, I didn’t think he had done it on purpose. I just thought I should let him know I wasn’t myself. Recognizing Gaslighting in real time Nancy: And it was the first time I recognized what he was doing in the moment, he started to say. “That had not happened. That didn’t sound like something he would’ve done, that my memory must be a little off.” So many different ways he was trying to convince me that it hadn’t happened, and he couldn’t convince me because I knew it had happened. So he switched tactics and said that maybe he should get counseling for being abused. Anne: He’s claiming that you’re abusing him. Nancy: Exactly, I was so confused. I asked him, “Abuse, what are you talking about? Am I being abusive right now?” And he goes, “No, the abuse I’ve had to endure for the last how many years.” And then I realized oh, that was gaslighting. That’s blame shifting, and I ended up leaving the room and cried on my own. It shook me up that he could take something very vulnerable and turn it on me like that. I was talking about that incident and how he was saying I was abusive and I heard myself saying, “It was surprising he would call me abusive when he’s been so much worse.” And that was the first time I thought maybe he is abusive, and that reminded me about BTR. I thought, let me listen to that, ’cause maybe I can get some insight. That brought me back to listening to the BTR podcast. And I vividly remember I was binging all these episodes, hearing women’s stories. It felt like my life. And it just blew my mind to realize I’ve been abused this whole time. Anne: I’m so sorry. You were experiencing Betrayal Trauma and were not aware that recovery or Celebrate Recovery near me programs wouldn’t help you. Addict model says he’s struggling, he’s not in control Nancy: It made sense. It felt like everything clicked into place. Everything else I was told didn’t make sense. I always talked about stuff. I was always looking for answers. And I never felt like I was codependent or that I needed codependents anonymous. None of that stuff seemed to fit. In fact, the advice I was given, “Don’t pay attention to what he’s doing. Only work on yourself.” While they’re also saying, “Don’t be codependent, ignore what he’s doing,” which just doesn’t work. The addict model, like he’s struggling, he’s trying, he’s not in control. I mean, that’s like step one. You’re powerless to control your behavior. He accepted the addiction model early on, and we were in and out of groups the whole time. But I don’t believe now that he’s an addict, and I don’t think he even thinks he’s an addict. It’s a great excuse to keep doing what you’re doing. Because there’s no accountability, and everyone applauds your efforts. Even if you’re not reaching the goal, you actually have a choice. He would say to me that he could not promise that he would never do any of the sexual stuff again. So it was like basically just saying, I’m gonna be doing this my whole life. Anne: My ex wouldn’t promise either. He said if I promised, “I wouldn’t be on my toes. Like I don’t want to think I couldn’t do that, because then maybe I would be in danger of doing it.” Which doesn’t even make sense. Like I can legit say, I will never have an affair. finding BTR helped me wrap my head around the abuse, Celebrate Recovery near me didn’t Nancy: Right, yeah. I found BTR. And the abuse model is they have a choice, and they’re choosing to be harmful and abusive. All these years he had been a liar. I stepped back and observed behavior for me to fully wrap my head around it. I believe he feels entitled to do what he wants. He doesn’t see people as people. Or maybe it’s just women as women. Objectification is a huge thing. I don’t think he ever saw me as an equal partner or a person. And I don’t believe he ever loved me. I was a desirable object he acquired, and that was it. When I started listening to BTR, it helped me understand abuse and the subtleties of it. Because before, I had only been thinking physical abuse or yelling insults, which my ex did not do. Listening to the stories helped me see how this plays out in marriage, even in a Christian marriage. It was helpful to see the ways men could twist faith things, because many of these men and my ex are very manipulative. Like it has to slowly play out over time to see what they’re doing. And a lot of it goes back to intent, and it’s hard to see intent. It was hard for me to imagine my husband is lying to me. So that was a shift too, to start looking at actions instead of words. BTR gave me a lot of insight into what I was living through and what was helpful, especially getting into the BTR groups. Celebrate Recovery near me didn’t do that. It helps build you up so that you can go through the hard stuff. We were going to counseling around the time I started going to BTR group. Going to couple counseling Nancy: Because of BTR, I had the words for it. I was able to express better what was happening. The counselor didn’t help my situation, of course. Individual counseling and couple counseling are unhelpful, because an abuser’s goal, my ex’s goal, was not to get better. His goal is to get whatever he wants. He’ll say whatever he needs to say to get what he needs from the counselor. We’ve gone to quite a few couple counselors. We would go into a new counselor, and he would bring up a new issue. He had never told me about me. Anne: Suddenly you’re a kleptomaniac or something. Nancy: Yeah, things that he thought I did that were hurtful to him, that I had never heard of before. But I felt so bad that I was hurting him without knowing it. What a callous person I am. Anne: Not knowing he was bearing false witness and that he literally made it up. Nancy: Yeah, completely distracted from why we went to counseling in the first place is sexual issues. Like I would have to be a safe person so he could be honest with me. Because I’m an actual caring person, I would feel like this was an actual issue that I needed to fix. And that is the part about the psychological abuse that is hard to describe. Because a lot of it could sound valid, and I thought these things were valid. But later realizing they were lies. They were lies, because he would’ve said them before. Anne: Exactly. creepy experience with new counselor Nancy: We did an in-home separation, At first. His abuse escalated the freer that I was getting. I never completely stopped working. I got a job and started after the in-home separation. He actually shut off the internet. Luckily, I prepared ahead of time. I had my own phone plan with the hotspot, So I could just switch over and just didn’t even engage with him. It has been a process of combing through my life, and I have wondered that how many lies I won’t even know about or remember. Because, I believed him and he was so good at lying. One of the new things he said was I wasn’t being vocal enough in bed. It felt so humiliating for him to say that to the new counselor. When he had never said that before. This male counselor wanted us to do an exercise right then on the sofa in front of him. He wanted my ex to touch like my foot or my leg, and then slowly move closer to my private areas. And as he moved closer. I was supposed to make more and more noise. Anne: No. Nancy: Isn’t that crazy? Anne: That’s so creepy. Nancy: I did feel incredibly creeped out, and I refused to do it. Anne: Good for you. He said there would be no equality in our marriage – Celebrate Recovery near me didn’t help with that Nancy: I wish I had just walked out, But after we left, I said, “I will never go back to that counselor again.” And we never did. I said, “What I would need to continue in the marriage was for him to be seeing his own personal counselor, to have a full disclosure with a lie detector test.” Which he said no to. And I know now it wouldn’t have been helpful. Just like Celebrate Recovery near me wasn’t helpful. Anne: I know, thank goodness. Nancy: Right. Anne: Mine never did that either. And I think I would’ve just been in the abuse for so much longer had he said yes. Nancy: Right, and then the second thing I said is that, “I wanted equality in our marriage.” And he said no. Anne: He said no, he didn’t want equality? Nancy: Correct. Anne: Wow. Nancy: So I was like, then literally that’s the end of it. And I was going to BTR group. I remember one of the coaches said to me, “It was a blessing that he actually had been honest.” At the time, I didn’t understand, now I do. And I’m so glad I asked those questions. I don’t know why he was honest. There are two possibilities. He didn’t think I would leave, because I hadn’t yet. We’d been married for almost 14 years, and he was only saying what was already true. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved Nancy: I just didn’t realize it was true. Or maybe he did want me to leave. I had some conversations with his mom. Because I found BTR, and surprisingly, she said it made her realize she was in an abusive relationship with my ex’s dad. However, she still felt like I should stay. Because she felt like the Lord had taught her so much and she had grown through all these trials. I have sympathy for her, but it’s so wrong. All of a sudden it just became very clear to me that if I stayed for the kids, it was actually putting them more at risk. And honestly, that conversation solidified that I had to leave for the kids. If you’re not sure yet if your partner is abusive, Just listen to some BTR stories and see what jumps out at you. You are a worthy human being that does not have to be perfect to be loved and treated with respect. Reconciliation is not necessary for forgiveness, and you don’t have to forgive anyone. It’s more of a process that can happen on its own time, and no one should force it. Pay much closer attention to someone’s actions over time than the words they say. And it’s never too late to make different choices when you learn or understand new information. I feel like having to make a choice that is wildly unpopular with people around you. Church, that I had to learn in a new way. Maybe for the first time, to not let what people thought about me affect the decisions that I make that part has been really hard because a church we were going to was not supportive at first. Call from somebody in Celebrate Recovery near me group Nancy: Some of them seemed supportive, and even the ones I thought were supportive, in the end weren’t. I actually got a phone call from somebody in my Celebrate Recovery near me group. She called me up to ask me if I was seeing a counselor. Because I still seemed angry. I was speechless, of course I’m angry. Anne: Yeah Nancy: I didn’t even know how to respond to her. I just told her yes, I’m in BTR group and got off the phone. There’s nothing wrong with being angry about the situation. I feel like church tells women they shouldn’t be angry. But Jesus was angry. There’s nothing wrong with being angry. Anne: Yeah, I feel like if you’re not angry, something’s wrong. Nancy: Right. Anne: I mean, nothing is wrong with you. You might be numb, you might be sad. I went through periods where I wasn’t super angry. I was just really depressed, but on the whole oppressed, abused, exploited people, their anger is from God to help liberate themselves from the oppression. But of course, the abuser does not want you to liberate yourself. He said flat out he didn’t want you to be equal. That is infuriating. Nancy: And now he wanted 50/50 custody. It was very upsetting, because my ex had been very non-helpful around the house and with the kids. It was hard to think that he would want 50/50. Anne: But of course he did. Nancy: I didn’t see that coming, and I wish I had been more prepared and could have been more strategic. Listening to him lie in the courtroom Nancy: I could not wrap my mind around that at the time. I had seen more and more abuse as my eyes were open. So I couldn’t wrap my mind around 50/50 custody. I was under the delusion that justice was in the court system. I found out, even though I know he lies, it was a big shock to listen to him lying in the Courtroom. It’s hard to witness. It’s something I wish I had processed before, because I’m sure that was pointed out to me. But I couldn’t process that as a reality back then. The Living Free Workshop was so helpful. And going to group and getting help constantly. The Living Free Workshop is so different than anything you’ve ever been taught. I don’t know how I would’ve made it through this, honestly. That was another thing that was really helpful. There were some scripts in Living Free to get him on Our Family Wizard, and he actually got on it easily. I was surprised. I didn’t think he would get on as easily as he did, and just not responding in any other way. Anne: That’s the thing, they’re desperate to talk to you. With the workshop, everybody says, how am I gonna make him go on OFW? And if you do the script and stick to it and do not deviate. Legit, don’t deviate. Once you’re on Our Family Wizard, literally block him on your phone, so he has no other way of contacting you. He is desperate to get your attention and your belief, like Living Free says, yeah, they’re so transactional. And if you respond through Our Family Wizard, he will find a way to do it. he performs for others in groups like Celebrate Recovery near me and in court Anne: They’re like, well, this is what I gotta do to talk to her, because I’m blocked otherwise. They will move. It might take a month. I’ve had it take the longest six weeks with one woman that I was working with. Every single time he texted, she said, “Hey, I’ve responded on Our Family Wizard.” Nancy: Right. It felt overwhelming, because he kept sending me long, manipulative messages, but I responded on Our Family Wizard. It only took me once for him to switch. Being on OFW was better. Oh, one of the books BTR recommends, The Woman They Could Not Silence. I read it and that was awesome. It helped open up my mind to spiritual abuse. It’s been inspiring to me this whole time. What she went through being separated from her children. That book has been really inspiring. The thought of leaving them with him, terrifying to me. We went through two rounds of court. He would make it sound like I was controlling and not letting him do things. Like why wouldn’t I let him take the kids to half of the doctor’s appointments when he never came to a pregnancy appointment? And same with field trips. He’ll go on field trips now, and I feel like it’s just to keep me from going. It. He never wanted to before. Anne: If he was actually a good dad, he would’ve been doing it before, but since he’s only doing it now, he is just performing. Nancy: Yes, it’s a performance because he’s getting something out of it from other people, like in in celebrate recovery near me, and it’s punishment for me because he knows how much I like being there for the kids. Reluctance to support anything he can’t control Nancy: When we married, he didn’t want us to do extracurricular activities. He didn’t even want free after school activities, much less anything you would have to pay for. He was only okay with youth group attached to his job, not the free after school activities. But since we’ve been divorced, he has them interested in hockey, which is one of the most expensive and time consuming sports there is. It’s very strange from my entire experience with him. He never talked about hockey, and he never wanted them involved. At the same time, he is not wanting to pay half of necessary expenses, like medical or orchestra uniforms. For a long time, I was not asking for half of necessary expenses. Because I didn’t wanna have to deal with him because he makes it such a struggle. Anne: My ex is exactly like that, exactly. When my book comes out, I’m anxious for you to read it, because it was all about control. Like, if I’m paying you anything or if I’m involved in any way, I have to control it. Nancy: Yeah, like my youngest wanted to do karate. His dad would not participate even when I offered to pay the whole thing. Other son was invited to concert band, and his dad said no. Anne: Think about the power trip that gives him that he’s able to manipulate them away from their natural interests. And maybe hockey is something that he wants to do. Like he thinks karate’s dumb, but he thinks hockey’s interesting. Draining my bank account and controlling my time Nancy: It is a huge expense that is very draining. When he won’t even pay half of an AP test. Anne: And that might be part of it. He’s, let’s pick the most expensive thing to drain her bank account. Nancy: Yeah, it was a double bind to drain my bank account and control my time. And at the same time, if I have to back out of it. He’ll say, sorry, kids, Mom won’t let us go to hockey. Anne: He’s calculating ways to set you up to be the bad guy. Nancy: Yes, he is an expert at setting up situations, so my bank account is being drained, and I cover a hundred percent of their insurance. Anne: With a lot of these post-separation abuse situations. They get the benefits, but they don’t have any of the responsibilities, and they can use it against you, but it never works for you. They can bend the rules in order to benefit them, but you can’t bend the rules. Nancy: In the Living Free Workshop. It was helpful to see how to deal with narcissistic abuse in marriage and how it plays out in separation, to find a way out of it. There was one thing you said, and this is when you’re moving away from his harm. You said, “If he escalates, remember that protecting yourself from the harm is not the cause of the harm. Just like evacuating a building was not the cause of the exploding gas lines.” He still wants to get together Nancy: That really hit me. One of the things that keeps haunting me is did I do the right thing? He still tries to get together personally with me. It constantly comes up that he wants to get together for coffee, or would I go to counseling with him, co-parenting counseling. I mostly ignore it at this point because he’s asked so many times. I don’t even answer him. Then if something goes wrong with the money situations or if there’s a point of disagreement, he will say, if you would’ve only met with me like I’ve asked, then this would’ve already been stopped. Anne: Yeah, we could’ve worked it out somehow, no. He would still lie. Nancy: It’s a trap. There’s that little 2% of me left that feels like, well, maybe I should meet with him, but no, it’s a trap. Anne: Yeah, no. Nancy: Because he never intends to do a nice thing. He just wants to get me in front of him again. I don’t think any good would come of it. Anne: A hundred percent, no. It might seem good, ’cause once you get there, it might seem good. He might like to turn on the manipulative lies to make you feel like he cares. I think one of the most abusive things people can say is, I love you or that I care. So manipulating you in that way is actually dangerous, and that’s probably what would happen. Nancy: I don’t think I could keep a straight face. It would skive me out so bad to be around him and hear stuff like that. Everything he says is the opposite of the truth Anne: Well, it’s just further evidence of his controlling nature, because he desperately wants to hang on to control. And so he’s increasing his lies because it’s getting away from him. That’s definitely a sign that he’s been lying the whole time. Nancy: I completely agree. I know that this is better for them in the long run, but in the short run, that sentence helps me right now. That was probably one of the hardest things for me to come to terms with, is that he never loved me. He doesn’t love the children. None of it’s real. It’s all lies, and he still does it. It’s mind-boggling. Everything he says is the opposite of what the truth is. He continues lying as he did in programs like Celebrate Recovery near me. As we were moving through the separation process, the boys did not want to leave and crying and like holding onto the car seats. It was horrible. I knew if I said anything to him, he wouldn’t care. Any altercation would be scary for the kids. So I started getting third party exchange people through a new church. I actually found a church with a woman pastor, which is quite lovely. The new church was helpful and supportive, and there were several people that would help me with exchanges. And things changed, like taking the Living Free Workshop, and suddenly I felt a lot stronger. I had a new understanding and confidence, so I stopped doing the third party exchanges. He actually met with the principal to try to get the principal to agree with him that I’m not allowed to go into the school on his parenting weeks. like in celebrate recovery near me, A clear example of him lying, controlling and abusing Nancy: Which isn’t true. You’re allowed to visit your kid in the school. Anne: Absolutely. Nancy: Unless there’s a restraining order, which there’s not. We have shared custody, but he made it sound like the principal agreed with him. I didn’t think it was the truth, but it scared me at the time. And we were about to have a party, and I signed up to bring food, so I worried I would be kicked out. But the principal didn’t say anything. Isn’t that a clear example of parental alienation? Anne: It’s a clear way of him undermining your relationship with your kids, lying, controlling, and abusing you. This is how he’s literally abusing you and your children. Nancy: Everybody heard about this incident, and it didn’t matter. He made it sound like he had just been concerned for the children’s wellbeing. Anne: Yeah, no. Nancy: My being around them upset them. Anne: Lies. That’s the issue they lie in programs like Celebrate Recovery near me and fool the leaders. Nancy: It’s lies at times it is possible that they might be upset, but it’s not because they’re scared of me. It’s more that they’re sad about the situation. My one son, he told me, it makes him sad to see me when he knows he has to go back to his dad’s. My daughter had a phone before we separated, but he wouldn’t allow communication between the boys and me ever. Once, my son called me using his sister’s phone. He was crying. I was only on the phone for about two or three minutes, and then the phone cut off. And they told me when they came back that he had been mad at them for calling me. Even if there is a court order they will find away around it Nancy: He wouldn’t allow them to have a watch phones either. That’s one of the reasons we went back to court. Anne: That’s the problem with court. You think if we get it in writing, then he’ll do it, but it doesn’t matter. He is not gonna do it no matter what. Nancy: This is what I have learned. I don’t ever wanna go back to court again, because it doesn’t help. No matter what you do, they’ll find a new way to cause harm. So there’s no point in any kind of new order. ‘Cause then they’ll find a new way around it. Anne: Exactly. Nancy: I’m still glad I went, because before I had been worried I had to do everything exactly perfectly or something would go wrong. And then I realized he’s doing wrong things on purpose. He just says stuff to get what he wants and nobody cares. So that has relieved a lot of fear. Anne: What would you share with listeners about what you’ve learned so far about finding help, maybe from Celebrate Recovery near me or elsewhere? Nancy: You know, hearing other people’s stories have meant so much to me, Living Free and the BTR coaches set me up for success. They told me to transfer half of our money to a separate bank account before I even told him that I might be leaving. That was incredibly helpful because I’m not sure if it would’ve been easy for me to get the money. I never used the word abuse or narcissism to him. That played out well, because he would’ve twisted it against me. Anne: A hundred percent. Kids need to know what a safe place feels like Nancy: Getting on the parenting app, super helpful, third parties for switches. Finding people to help with the things you need is just a lifesaver. I do feel like it will be better for the kids in the future, because they can be in a peaceful setting that’s not manipulative. So when they’re making decisions. About how they want to live and their future partners, that they know what it feels like to be in a safe place and being able to have discussions with them about men’s and women’s roles. Anne: Nancy, thank you so much for sharing your story today. And helping others who are searching, to find something truly helpful. Nancy: Thank you.

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? This episode explores the profound questions of identity and purpose in recovery, featuring personal stories and biblical insights. Discover how understanding who you are in God's eyes can transform your life and recovery journey. Monty opens the mail bag to clear some things up and as always controversy is a major element of this week's topic. Closing Song: Hello My Name Is… by Matthew West. Key Topics ·         The biblical view of identity and being created in God's image·         Personal stories of discovering purpose and self-awareness·         The role of faith and belief in recovery and self-acceptance #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

One of the richest parts of celebrate recovery is understanding that it's not a behavioral management process but a transformational heart process. It's so important to understand how we find ourselves in these unhealthy spaces of habits. One of the ways that we combat the addictions and habits begin to lose their power is by addressing the lies that live beneath them. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, global field, director of celebrate recovery, will unpack how lies form and how the hurts and trauma from our past create unhealthy tracks to become our unhealthy lies and how we ultimately lead to God's truth toward healing and new healthy practices.

SO YOU RELAPSED, NOW WHAT? This episode of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast explores the complex topic of relapse in recovery, addressing questions about recovery, relapse, and the spiritual and practical tools needed to navigate setbacks. Hosted by Monty Meyer and Tom Williams, it offers insights into maintaining sobriety, understanding relapse, and the importance of grace and community support.Can we recover or are we always in recovery? Can a recovered person relapse? Closing Song: God of Second Chances by Leroy Stoltzfus. Key Points ·         Relapse in Recovery: When It Happens and How to Respond·         Understanding Recovery and Relapse: A Spiritual Perspective #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

In the recovery process, it can be painful to acknowledge and admit some things from our past, and present that are causing havoc on our life and relationships. The retraining and redeeming process is not always easy and can become an obstacle to continuing the road to recovery. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field, Director of celebrate recovery, will unpack some of the ways things seem to get harder on our journey and confuse us toward possibly giving up on the healing journey. What are some things that we can be aware of to be encourage in the hard struggle that can be indicators toward healing, change, and growth?

In the last episode, we unpacked, at a high-level what addictions are and hopefully grow our curiosity and empathy toward the reasons why addictions might show up in our life. But what is the path toward freedom look like? In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of celebrate recovery, will help us continue the conversation around addictions and how the path toward freedom through CR can help us work toward lasting recovery.

In Episode 148 of Recovery On-Air, Jared Blaine shares how he rebuilt his life by turning pain into purpose through music and the freedom of the open road. What began as a struggle with sobriety became a powerful journey of healing, where writing music and riding motorcycles gave him a new way to cope, connect, and stay grounded. Now involved in Celebrate Recovery and riding with the AZ Misfits motorcycle group, Jared has found brotherhood, structure, and a deeper sense of meaning. His story is a raw reminder that recovery isn't one path—it's about finding what keeps you alive, inspired, and moving forward. #RecoveryOnAir #RecoveryIsPossible #HopeDealer #Sobriety #Testimony #TeamGod #CommunityStrong #RecoveryJourney #TogtherAZ #MusicTherapy

Today's Show: A NEW IDENTITY. This episode of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast the Montyman goes solo and brings to the mic the topic of a new identity found in the process of recovery and standing firm as a recovered alcoholic. Closing Song: The Ya-But Habit by Michael Purington. Key Topics ·         Recovered vs Recovery·         Alcoholic Definition·         The New Man·         The Old Man·         Our Identification and Others #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction

1 in 3 people that come to Celebrate Recovery deal with some kind of substance abuse addiction. Everyone else is dealing with the things underneath the surface that lead to addictions. However, addictions are a part of what CR helps people face in their life. It's important to understand in general what addictions are and what the healing path might look like. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of Celebrate Recovery, unpacks this important topic to give us a little bit of clarity around addictions, and maybe a deeper curiosity of how to face it as we walk through it with other people.

It doesn't seem possible, but we are living in a world where we have more tools and forms of communication then we've ever had in our lifetime. And yet, we are probably the loneliest we've ever been as a culture. Why? How is that possible? What are the things that we need to be aware of that could be barriers to moving from loneliness to healthy community and connection? What are the things that we can do as next steps to move from hiding to healing? In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, global field director of celebrate recovery will help unpack this important topic to help us combat the loneliness that becomes our choice in what we do with it. How does celebrate recovery help us in this process?

The longer we are on the road to recovery the more tempting it is to make the resource our idol instead of the Source who is worthy to be worshipped. How do we work the program and not make the program an idol. One of our sayings at Celebrate Recovery is "keep coming back because it works if you work it and it won't if you don't". Does that mean we take control back or release control? What does that mean to work the program? Understanding the heart behind this is essential to keeping things balanced, and keeping our perspective and eyes on God.In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field, Director of Celebrate Recovery, will discuss and help us understand the difference between 'working' it to check a box versus 'surrendering' control, and walking in healthy recovery.

CHOOSE YOUR HARD. On this episode of the Came to Believe Recovery Podcast Alicea and the Montyman discuss practical strategies for making hard choices. Before we lose the power in choice can we make the wise ones? Nothing changes if nothing changes, what choice will we make to change our direction from down to up? Life is hard, will you live it? Closing Song: In Spite of Me by Colton Dixon.  Key  Topics·         Heart posture and its impact on recovery·         Choosing between hard paths: addiction vs growth·         The role of discipline and accountability in recovery·         The importance of honesty and vulnerability·         Practical strategies for making hard choices#recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

You don't have to look very far to see the broken world around us. Circumstances happen left, and right, and they can consume us if we aren't aware, creating great fear inside our thinking and our heart. Is it possible to have peace even when our circumstances don't change around us? What does peace in the midst of our circumstances look like? In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of Celebrate Recovery, will share a story of lessons he learned from his mom in her last months of her life, lying in a hospital bed. Listen in and find the nuggets that you might be able to apply to your own life & circumstances.

Today's Show: DROPPING THE POTTY MOUTH. In this short Montyman's Meditorial, Monty challenges us lose the profanity and speak with clarity rather than rudeness. There may be something to this that will help us communicate with maturity. A mature discourse is always met with respect. Take a listen, I dare ya.

LIFE IS LIFEY. What Happens When Life Hits You in The Face? This episode of The Came to Believe Recovery Podcast explores the importance of emotional sobriety, dependency, and spiritual growth in recovery. Hosted by The Montyman and Alicea Martinez, it offers practical tools and insights for navigating life's challenges with faith and gratitude. How do we react to life when “Life Happens”, when the unexpected shows up or when people act out? Closing Song: Good by Matthew West.  Key Topics ·         Emotional sobriety as the next frontier in recovery·         Dependence on external tools versus God dependence·         The role of gratitude and love in healing·         Handling life's interruptions with faith and patience·         The importance of spiritual contact through prayer and meditation #recovery #alcoholic #twelvesteps #wedorecover #addiction 

In this episode, we will continue the conversation in understanding how facing our past trauma, abandonment, and rejection can ultimately bring healing. How does facing it bring clarity in God's purpose for our lives so that the past pain does not go wasted. In this part 2 episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of celebrate recovery continues the important conversation of how leaning into our pain, although difficult, will always be worth it for God's greater purpose. 

Unfortunately, in this world, we will have trouble that brings up a lot of trauma, abandonment, and rejection. In celebrate recovery we are about facing those past traumatic wounds. But what happens when we avoid all of that and how does it shape our present in future when left unresolved? How does facing the pain of our past impact our present and our future? In this part 1 episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of Celebrate Recovery, will lean into some things to be aware of and how it shapes our belief system, our choices, and how we interact with the world, ourselves, and God. What are the healing benefits of facing the pain of our past?

In this ministry, we can find that it doesn't always have a pretty ending and can be heart wrenching to walk-through. Thankfully, this doesn't happen the majority of the time, but it does happen from time to time and we need to prepare hearts for if it does. In this episode Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of celebrate recovery, will walk us through some important reminders to equip us in handling the deepest pain of losing someone that we walked along side and shepherded, maybe in death or relapse, etc. How do we heal and take our hearts to the Lord? How can we possibly keep going and what God has called us to in our ultimate purpose and mission? Listen to some important points to equip us in these rare but important possibilities.IMPORTANT: If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal ideation or self-harm please seek help and consider professional attention if needed. Dial 988 to talk to a professional to be a bridge toward the help that you deserve.

A question that might come up in the Recovery journey is "why should I deal with my past? Doesn't Paul say we should forget the past and strain forward?" Understanding the difference between getting stuck in our past and honoring our past with the whole goal of moving forward with a new purpose is essential to walking in freedom or staying stuck in our past trauma and pain. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, global field Director of Celebrate Recovery, will walk us through a conversation on what it looks like to understand the difference between staying stuck in our past and honoring our past so that God can bring redemption and restoration so that we can walk in Freedom.

In celebrate recovery, we all have our own experiences and the way the Holy Spirit grows and changes us through the principles and steps of celebrate recovery. In this episode, Rodney Holmstrom, Global Field Director of Celebrate Recovery, sits down with North Central regional Director, Scott Kemp to talk about his favorite step & principle of CR. He shares his heart and why it means so much to him even 30+ years later in his recovery journey.