The podcast tells often-silly, sometimes-sweet, and occasionally-traumatic tales of modern love.
It's time to say goodbye. JP has moved to Peterborough, Elah to New York, but months ago, we got together in Toronto one last time to record this. Thank you to all the listeners who have stuck with us for four years, and the many kind words you've sent our way. We like you. (Visit ilikeyoupodcast.com for past episodes)
Wired called Chris McKinlay a math genius who hacked OkCupid to find love. We talk to him about how he did it - including the eerie byproducts of his experiment - and to his love, Christine Wang, about her side of the equation. Based on his experiments, Chris explains how to win at online dating in a way that doesn't involve lying and isn't totally bullshit. Music this week: Chris Zabriskie - Cylinder Four (from Free Music Archive) Saharan Gazelle Boy - Amy Needs a Vacation (from the former IODA Promonet) Photo: "Girl sits in lap of mechanical man" by Leslie Jones, courtesy of the Boston Public Library
Doug Block has over two decades of experience filming weddings, and he's always been curious what happens in the years that follow that big day. In his new documentary, 112 Weddings, Doug revisits some of the couples that he's followed down the aisle (along with the no-longer-coupled). The movie flashes from the fantasy of the wedding day to the reality of married life in an instant (it's really something to see). In this episode, Doug shares what he's learned about marriage, as well as some of the challenges he faced in making the film. You can see 112 Weddings yourself on HBO, in June 2014.
This week, we learn about circumcision and find out what it's like to work in a sex lab. What's the room like? Does it get awkward or does the lab coat give you magical protections from social unease? Two sex researchers take us behind the curtain. Jenn Bossio talks to us specifically about her research on circumcision. She's trying to find out what, if anything, circumcision does to penises. Does it affect their arousal patterns? Do they become super sensitive penises? Or does all that neonatal pain make them numb to the world? Important questions for anyone interested in the ethics of circumcision. Music in this episode: Lillix - Dance Alone Star & Micey - So Much Pain Jill Barber - Chances Israel Singers - Hava Nagila Hora Medley
Samantha Joel studies the psychology of relationship decisions: those frustratingly complex choices that can have lifetime consequences. She tells us what the research has to say about decisions like asking someone out, or moving in with your partner. She tells us how we can harness the power of science to make better decisions, and how she's putting her money where her mouth is by using research-based wedding vows for her upcoming nuptials. Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Additional music this week by DanSternofBeyer.
17 years ago, doctors found a benign tumour in John Killacky's spine. They told him he would be out of the hospital in a few days and have a sore neck for a month, but when he woke up he was paralyzed from the neck down. We speak to John, as well as Andrew Morrison-Gurza, about sex, disability, and feeling wanted. I interviewed Andrew and John originally for this piece in Xtra. The beautiful picture of Andrew was the work of photographer N Maxwell Lander, commissioned by Xtra. As for the article, I wasn't totally happy with the way it turned out. I was trying so hard to be a “good ally” that it ended up angry and ranty in a way that my interviewees themselves were not – which is why it's nice to give them a chance to speak for themselves. Music: Sean Jones – No Need For Words This Will Destroy You – Quiet Joan Chamorro & Andrea Motis – Feeling Good Marie-Andree Ostiguy – Valse in D Flat Major – Minute, Op. 64 #1 en Re bemol majeur Joan Chamorro & Andrea Motis – Moon River
Dr. James Cantor studies the brains of pedophiles. He's found statistical similarities among them, things like low IQ and left-handedness - and these similarities seem to indicate that pedophilia is already in the brain at birth. Based on these findings and those of other researchers, he advocates for a shift away from the current punishment-based way of dealing with pedophiles towards a model of prevention and psychological treatment. JP talked to him about his MRI research, "gold-star pedophiles", and new ways of keeping our kids safe. Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Other music this week: Skits So Frantic and DanByerofStern.
Carol Dweck is a professor of psychology at Stanford University, and the author of Mindset. The book aims to help overcome the mental blocks that can stand in the way when it comes to dating, relationships, and more. She provides a lot of valuable advice - and even shares how an imaginary man named Maurice helped her achieve a more harmonious marriage. Theme music as always by Drew Danburry. Other music this week by Skits So Frantic and DanSternofBeyer.
Much to our disappointment, lobsters don't really mate for life - just a week or two of procreation, and then they move on - but one of the greatest* love stories is happening in grasslands all over the American Midwest and the Canadian Prairies. We talk to Professor Mohamed Kabbaj about his research, and to each other about science's quest to demystify love. Music this week: Heather Mac Rae - I Choose Love Joan Chamorro and Andrea Motis - Feeling Good Ella Fitzgerald - Night and Day *if defined by the relationship lasting a lifetime, a monogamish lifestyle, and an abundance of snuggling
This week JP talks with Chiara Atik, the dating expert at HowAboutWe, and the author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide. Chiara shares some great common sense dating tips and provides advice on navigating things like sexting, taking naked pics, and one night stands. Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Additional music this week by DanSternofBeyer.
Description and music credits coming soon!
This week we talk religion with Ralph Carl Wushke, the Ecumenical Chaplain at the University of Toronto. We aren't religious ourselves, but we figured Ralph could pass along some dating and relationship wisdom that anyone can apply. We also asked him about marriage, being gay in the church, and um... what "ecumenical" means... Theme music as always by Drew Danburry. Other music this week by Szai, pocketjawa, jhampton, DJ Junks, and eugenkiss.
Carol's boyfriend chose a very bad day to break up with her. We discuss whether it's okay to be a little bit cruel when you end a relationship. Local girlfriend Sonal weighs in. Music this week: "Hang on Little Tomato" by Pink Martini "Jungle Love" by Matt Hirt "Baby Baby I Should Have Known" by Jimmy & The Rackets Image by Photochiel, creative commons, on Flickr.
Lauren went on a first date, and her date hated everything. Hip-hop, friendly people, her own grandma... everything. This week's show is a cautionary tale for those who can't quite seem to put their best foot forward. Thanks to Andrew Norton for doing this interview for us. Theme music as always by Drew Danburry. Additional music by eugenkiss, Dan Semotan, and Steve Rabulan.
Megan and Frank tell us how bipolar II disorder and depression have affected their relationship. JP and Elah come out about their own mental health stuff. It feels scary to even write that. More info, including music notes, at ilikeyoupodcast.com
Ayla Newhouse is a Toronto-based designer who's looking at dating and relationships through the lens of design – and working to solve relationship problems using the tools of design. She tells us how ethnographic research helped land her a boyfriend, and about how she's helping others tackle their dating woes. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2013/01/84-dating-by-design/
Marissa had been with her partner for two years when the proposal came. She had two options: say yes to a marriage she wasn't ready for, or say no, and likely break up. We talked to her about what happened. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/11/82-runaway-train/
Konstantine and Salina met in Grade 1 at Faywood Elementary School in Toronto. By grade 4 Konstantine had developed feelings for Salina, and maintained that crush right through to grade 8. They parted ways and went to different high schools, and different universities – but that's not where the story ends. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/10/81-the-return-of-the-childhood-crush/
Lindsay Miller says she wasn't born gay – she chose it. Why is that a problem for so many people? To learn more about what “queer by choice” means to Lindsay, you can read her article in the Atlantic and a more recent article where she explains why “bisexual” doesn't cover it for her. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/10/80-born-like-a-baby/
Michelle hates being single, despite the many benefits. We investigate why. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/08/78-party-of-one/
Kat Angus was the cool ex: she got over her breakup with Brandon quickly, and they stayed friends. Then things went bad. An email was sent to Brandon's new girlfriend – it was filled with lovey words from Kat – and pictures… Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/08/77-junk-mail/
Elah's mom spent most of her life feeling unattractive, but in some ways, it was the best thing that ever happened to her – and in other, more obvious ways, it was the worst. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/08/76-unpretty/
This week we have four short stories from fantastic contributors. They all have to do with the beginning, middle, and/or end of a relationship. Huge thanks to Dave Pickering, Jonathan Harris, Whitney Jones, and Dave Huth for letting us use their stories on the show. Also thanks to Cowbird – a great storytelling site where three of this week's stories were originally published. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/07/75-start-to-finish/
This week JP and Elah play matchmaker and send real people on real dates! The catch? Our volunteer Nicole has to pick the gentlemen using smell alone. Will her favorite smell also be her favorite date? We'll reveal all at the end of the show. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2012/09/79-the-set-up/
I asked four elders in my family what they wish they'd know about love and relationships when they were younger. Mostly they ignored my questions and freestyled it, but their answers were insightful nonetheless. And sweet and blunt. Read more: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2013/02/85-seniors-on-love/
#2: Our Profiles – The Naked Truth by JP & Elah
#11: Love and Marriage… and Racism by JP & Elah
Bonus content for this episode available here: https://soundcloud.com/ilikeyoupodcast/episode-15-bonus-content
#17: Dating Under the Influence by JP & Elah
#20: Ryan and the Mechanical Bull by JP & Elah
#23: 25 Ways to Avoid Touching by JP & Elah
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