Lift & Shift

Kendra Clark is here today to talk about how to thrive because of our challenges. She reminds us that we must ask ourselves, “Is this challenge happening to me or for me?” Kendra says that when you take the high road you experience gratitude, self love and compassion. Kendra was raised in a family that didn’t practice religion much although her mother was Mormon. She went on to go to college at Brigham Young University in Utah. It was there that she was introduced to Mormonism and she remembers this as being a time in her life when religion became more defined. She was raised with a “worldly” family that didn’t necessarily attend church or actively teach Christian principles in the home but she always considered herself a spiritual person, even as a young girl. She says that Mormonism gave her a framework for her spirituality and has spent forty years as a Mormon, was married in a Mormon temple and raised four children. Moments That Shape You There are defining moments in all of our lives that become an integral part of who we are as we grow up. For Kendra that event was when her older brother Guy was hit by a truck while flying a kite outside. He suffered a traumatic brain injury and was on life support and was not expected to live. Kendra states that she was conceived because her parents didn’t want her other baby brother at the time to be alone. Guy was taken off life support and ended up living even though his brain did not develop much past the age of five. Kendra took him under her wing knowing that she would later be responsible for him as they grew up. It was during that time that she developed a deep appreciation for the special needs community and attributes the community with shaping her into who she is today. When her parents eventually passed she had the privilege of caring for her brother the rest of his adult life. Your mom struggled with depression throughout your childhood. How did you gain the tools to be able to support your mom?         Kendra states, “That was my first exposure to real challenges. As a young girl, my mother felt so much guilt over the accident with my brother. Because of that difficult loss she made the decision to disconnect with me because she was scared that something might happen to me. Having a mother with that guard around herself growing up was extremely difficult. I wanted my mother to be someone that I could count on and unfortunately that wasn’t an option. I had struggles trying to interpret what the mother role looked like. During that time my dad was my rock and it was difficult trying to figure out how to navigate that relationship with my mother. I had to create tools so that I could learn to accept her and love her without having her be that consistent role in my life. I tried to excel in school and other areas of my life in the hopes of having my mom notice me. That wasn’t the case. I realized at a young age that if I would become a mother, I wouldn’t continue that script in my own life.”         “It’s very hard to not personalize those moments with people who are struggling. It isn’t about you. She tried to take her life several times while I was growing up and later was successful when I was an adult. This was her decision to make and I look at the silver lining in this relationship that I have with her. She was better able to mother me once she passed than she was in the flesh. She was there to be my mother and my angel afterwards.” How did your close relationship with your father affect your outlook on life and the types of men you felt drawn towards? “He was and is my rock. With my upbringing he was both my mother and father. I could go to him and he would love me unconditionally. We were incredibly close and inseparable. When I went to college I missed him desperately and he actually wrote me a letter every day during my freshman year at university. I consulted him about every decision I made. The relationships that I’ve had romantically have come from having a solid and healthy relationship with my father. When I lost my father suddenly and unexpectedly it was the hardest loss I’ve ever had. I’ve had manifestations in my life since he’s passed away that show how he has shown up in my life. An example would be when my brother was passing away in hospice I had put my phone on the other side of the room and I remember my phone ringing and thinking it was one of my sons. When I went to check my phone it was my father’s number calling me. That has happened four times where I wasn’t around my phone and he has called me. The moments it happened were profound moments for me to show that he was there with me.” How do you find the faith and courage to move on during difficult periods in your life?         “For whatever reason my life has been very colorful. It has had unique challenges with painful losses and betrayals. I’ve had one setback after another. When your spirit is broken it forces you to get to an inner part of your spirit that is just yourself and the Lord. I would say to myself, ‘Kendra, I am with you. I have your back. I will protect and love you. Nothing can hurt you. Proceed through this difficult time knowing that I’ve got you.’ I was able to separate my mind from my heart. That’s how I got through the initial sadness and hurt of loss. I decided to have grace and mercy throughout those challenges. I was protective of the inner sanctuary of my spirit. I also realized there would be a time where I couldn’t protect myself from everything and I knew I would have to process my pain in a healthy and efficient way. I allowed myself to feel pain and not shrink because of it. The pain allows me to be more compassionate to the people God brings into my life. We need to minister to broken people from a place of having been there ourselves.” “A fundamental mindset that I have is that I understand that the words that I attach to my experience become my experience.” “When people talk about going through something and they attach a negative script to it, it makes things even more painful than it needs to be. When people get stuck, a core ingredient to that is that they continue to beat their heads against reality. They ask, “Why is this happening?” When they keep arguing with the reality that they’re stuck, they’ll never move forward. There are things that are against our control that we can’t allow to thwart our progress. It’s one thing to become a better and stronger person from setbacks, but you can take what you’ve learned and make people’s lives better because of it.” “Make this day better because you’re in it.” “A job I gave my kids when they were younger was to find a way to serve. I always asked them each day after school so that they would tell me how they made their day better by being in it. Service is my thing and my thing with my children. It was time consuming but I knew there was an investment in these kids and I knew I had to cultivate a sense of good will and compassion in these kids that would eventually be adults.” Where do you find the tenacity to keep fighting in your life? “I’m not willing to accept the alternative. I know that when I’m engulfed in hardships and go down a rabbit hole of self pity, it will take over me. I can’t let that happen. In June of 2020 I went to Texas to help a physician colleague train staff. I was in a hotel room by myself and at midnight I was awoken from two painful grand mal seizures. I wasn’t able to understand what was happening with my body. My limbs wouldn’t work and I couldn't speak properly. I fell off of the bed while I was thrashing back and forth. I did know that I was passing away and that my last breath was imminent. I knew it was happening but I didn’t know why I was dying. I kept telling myself, ‘If I take one more breath, I’m still alive.’ That allowed me to say a prayer to God asking Him to keep me alive. I was woken because of another seizure and was met with a strange amount of energy so I decided to get up and see patients before I’d figure out what happened to my brain. At lunchtime I was nauseated and went to the emergency room. An emergency CT scan revealed a large brain tumor. It was incredible how I was able to be flown back to the Mayo clinic but God was incredible and blessed me to get in contact with a neurosurgeon partner back home. He convinced the team in Texas that he’d take over my care and got me to Mayo Clinic. I was flown to Mayo and was operated on the next day. That was the first day of the rest of my life. It has been an ongoing healing process for me.” What are some of your goals for 2021? “With all of the surgeries and physical setbacks I’ve had, I’m still in a receiving mode. I still need to receive what I need to learn from all of this. I need to stand down a little more and not be so zero to ninety all of the time. I’m doing more meditation and spending more time with stillness. I’m trying to learn lessons as I’m healing. I don’t know what that looks like yet.” What is something that you can’t live without? “I love to be physically active with my body. I always appreciate being in motion and using my body to become stronger. I’m a competitive cyclist so that’s a sport I really appreciate in my life and it feeds my soul. Not necessarily that I can’t live without my bike, but I can’t live without being physically active. When we stop moving our body, that’s the beginning of our demise.” Sunrise or sunset? “Both are so different yet so powerful. Sunrises invite a new day with new opportunities and sunset because it gives us an opportunity to be thankful for that day. They’re both equal- I can’t say one or the other.” What book changed your life? “The Holy Bible is the first book that comes to mind. Another book is “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle. They have profoundly put a definition to how I always saw life. Tolle is a beautiful author and a spiritual being. It was like reading a book that described how I saw the world.” Where to find Kendra: Instagram: @kendraclarkaz Facebook: Kendra Clark Arizona

If there were ever a buzzword to escape 2020 and climb on over to 2021, it would burnout. The pandemic has caused people of all different walks, ages, and professions—especially healthcare to experience extreme levels of stress, depression, and anxiety. There is no doubt that the majority of us never expected anything like the COVID-19 pandemic to become a reality – at least not in our lifetimes. So, what do we do with this new, ever-present burnout that we are dealing with on a near-daily basis? Burnout typically refers to how we feel towards our jobs and our careers, but has it taken on a whole new meaning now that most of us are working from home? And those who aren’t now having to worry about what they may be bringing home from their job.   This is what we are going to be discussing in today’s episode. We are going to cover what burnout is, its signs, and how it is becoming an all-encompassing state of being. We are also going to touch on tough love and how we can fight this COVID-19 burnout with a healthy dose of it. So, settle in and buckle up as we get ready to tackle these two, unfortunately, very relevant topics. What is burnout?   Believe it or not, the term burnout is relatively modern. It was coined in a book from 1974 titled Burnout: The High Cost Of High Achievement, authored by Herbert Freudenberg. He applied the term to a professional setting describing burnout as “the extinction of motivation or incentive, especially where one's devotion to a cause or relationship fails to produce the desired results.”  Essentially, burnout is a reaction to prolonged or chronic job stress that is characterized by three main dimensions: exhaustion, cynicism, and feelings of reduced professional ability.   Again, we see this as a term that is used in a professional setting. However, it is very clear that burnout is now something that presents itself in nearly every aspect of our lives. This is likely because we are, in some ways, in survival mode. We are living day to day and putting in the work to complete the tasks that will keep things going. We have lost sight of our long-term goals and desires because we have absolutely no idea as to what is going to happen and what we can expect.   Though burnout typically refers to our jobs or career, it is easy to see how this state of being could easily translate into other areas of our lives. The first dimension of burnout, exhaustion – do I even have to explain this one? We are all so clearly exhausted, which is to be expected from the constant and ever-present stress. Don’t forget, we are all going through something that has no definitive end and has impacted our lives immeasurably. It is nearly impossible to feel energized during the current state of everything.

I think that it is safe to say that we have all had moments in our lives when we have practiced a fair amount of self-pity, or a why me attitude. Which, to be honest, is somewhat understandable – especially if you are going through a tough time. I think that when we have a few challenging situations occur within close proximity to each other, and it is often pretty easy to look at all of these things causing us stress and go, “why is this happening to me?”, “what did I do to deserve this?” “must be nice for other people who have it easier!”.

Jenny Melrose is a teacher turned blogger turned business coach and recent author from Charlotte, North Carolina. She has created an extremely successful lifestyle and food blog as well as multiple business courses online. Get To Know Jenny She started off as a former inner city school district teacher. She welcomes any and all questions because she’s used to working in high intensity situation like dodging chairs thrown at her! While she was a reading specialist from ages five to eleven, she started her lifestyle site The Melrose Family that was heavy on the food side of things. The blog advertised quick and easy food recipes and ideas for busy parents. This stemmed from her having her first daughter and feeling like she had lost herself in her journey as a new mother. Jenny felt like she was consumed with taking care of her baby and that she didn’t have time for herself. As she dove in and connected more with bloggers and influencers she started to understand how to monetize her blog. SheI had the background as a writer as her double major in college dealt with Creative Writing and it let her have a passion and get excited about something. She kept up with the blog while she taught but was able to retire from teaching at 35 when her blog income surpassed her teaching income two times over.

Letitia was dubbed by client friend Alice Cooper as “The Auctiontainer” which is now a common phrase and the method of auctiontainment is now taught. She is a published author and public speaker. Her new book “No Reserve” is about living a limitless life as an auctiontainer. Reserve is when you go all in on buying something without setting a reserve price. The idea is “are you going all in with your life?” Letitia says, “Through a series of adversities and tragedies over nine years of my life my friends started to ask me, “How do you keep getting up?” I realized there was a set way that I did it, so I wrote it down. Everyone has a book in them. Getting it from thought to paper to publishing isn’t an easy task. It evolved in the time that it should have. I got forty different airport stores in the midst of a pandemic which was interesting for me. What was humbling for me was when I was able to record my own voice for the audiobook which has been fantastic. The timing for right now feels like a handbook for covid. I wanted to make a book that anyone could read. Accessible, not intimidating and have it be a roadmap for people going through struggles. We create “ifs” in our mind that we’ll tell ourselves which is really something created out of fear to hold us back. This book is about overcoming that fear and living a limitless life and go for what you want. “This is not a dress rehearsal.” What we learn is that if there’s ever been a giant reset button for the world, it’s right now. This is a giant opportunity to be living the life that you want. These life lessons are things that they don’t teach at Harvard. It is a book with nitty gritty personal experience that will help you move forward and come out better than you are.”

Independence looks different for everyone, but the one thing that is for sure is that you can tell when someone is lacking. Whether we feel trapped, bogged down or too dependent on others, feeling like we lack this quality can be frustrating.  Independence carries different meanings for everyone, but there are some things all of us can do to help become more independent versions of ourselves. These are the pillars of independence. You ultimately need to come up with the specifics but these five things will help start a foundation Read More on the Website

If you are one of the people struggling right now during the holidays to improve your quality of life or just to keep your life on track you are not alone. There are many people trying to improve themselves or take baby steps to improve some area of their life. There are no perfect people. Look at the person next to you. Looks like they have it all together, don’t they? Maybe not! What many of us forget in our lives often is that person has said, done things and thought things that would probably shock you. Yet we pretend we are perfect. Society has taught us what the blueprint is to fit into today and if we don’t fit that mold we run and hide. We pretend everything is perfect and that we aren’t stressed out.   Read more on the website!

Zara House was formed six years ago in West Virginia and it is a house and rehabilitation center for sex trafficking victims. Co founder Ariel is a leader, pioneer and making a difference in the world of sex trafficking. Read more HERE:

This year many people have found themselves overwhelmed with self doubt and some will even stay paralyzed with doubt, unable to get through it. It’s not uncommon to have self doubt and everyone goes through it in some stage of their life. What’s important to keep in mind is that sharing your own experiences can lead to helping others. Read More HERE:

I met Mary five years ago through church in my hometown of Elkhart, Indiana. We had great conversation and I was instantly intrigued by her passion and purehearted approach to the world. Many people are searching for hope and direction right now and Mary offers this in for other in many different forms.  Read More Here:

I met Tim at a birthday party in Cabo San Lucas and from the get go I knew how creative and articulate he was. He is a captivating photographer and a great conversationalist. His business started with nightlife photography and red carpets, where he says, “Any celebrity that has been to Vegas, I’ve shot. I would shoot for other media outlets. It was a great start to my career but then I moved forward to publish my magazine, Deluxe Version Magazine.    Read More Here:

What Are the Hair Trends for 2020/2021? Kyra Kloepping Kyra works for Prima Salon in Scottsdale, Arizona where she has been trying to look at this year’s unexpectedness through a positive lens and accept new opportunities that come her way. Her salon shut down in February where they stayed closed for a month but she used the time to work with her clients and take the extra time she found herself with to travel to them in order to meet their needs. Background with Kyra  She is 24 years old and was born and raised near Madison, Wisconsin. She moved to Arizona a few years ago and has been in the hair industry for about five years. She attended a technical college specifically for hair called Madison College which she says was extremely fast-paced and intense. When she wasn’t in hair school she was working part time as a receptionist at a salon to get her foot in the door and to learn the ins and outs of salon life. Kyra knew she wanted to be a stylist for about ten years. She states that she thinks her interest came from being a dancer as a kid and having to do their hair and makeup in various ways for different dances. She knew a four year university wasn’t for her and wanted to try hair school to see how she would fare- she’s loved it ever since. She mentions plenty of people assuming that hair is more simple than what it is and how so much more work goes into being a hairstylist. Hair styling is definitely all about continuing education with things changing each year and with every season. Kyra says,“You can never be the best, you can always keep growing.” Kyra’s short term goal was to rent her own chair at a salon and she was given the opportunity sooner rather than later when her previous salon went out of business. It’s intimidating, but it gives her something to work towards, like looking for new clients to keep business coming in. In the future she’d love to have her own space in a studio or suite and potentially have her own salon.         Her goals mean more work and come with more responsibility but she is focused on growth and seeing where her path takes her. Marketing techniques for getting new clients? Referrals - your clients tend to be a lot like you because you attract people you can talk to and get along with and have things in common with. Asking your clients to send you their family or friends is a huge way to get more business. Instagram- Looking into using the right hashtags, having the right timing of posts, knowing what to caption your post, and taking more time to finish colors and styles so they look photo ready. Yelp - getting good reviews so people can look up your name and see previous positive experiences. What are popular colors and trends on clients right now?         Kyra says that a lot of blonde is popular with both guys and girls right now, and it also could be because of the season. Silver hair and pastels are also extremely popular because people don’t have to go to work in person or as normally right now so people are doing fun things with their hair. Even kids who aren’t going to school can try new styles or colors. A popular trend that has been consistent are beachy wave curls, which lots of people can’t achieve on their own and want help at learning how to do it. Lots of Kyra’s clients either ask her to style their hair with beach curls or ask for advice on how to achieve the look on their own. With the right curling wand, you can get the same look! She recommends the Hot Tools 1 inch curling wand and reminds us that you don’t always have to spend the most money to get the best product. Dyson hair dryer - pros and cons vs other products? “Ultimately, it is the best dryer that is on the market for hair right now. Dyson tested a new technology for the way that it filters. Normal hair dryers have the filter on the back of the dryer and it could catch your hair. The Dyson has the filter on the bottom of the dryer, so you won’t get your hair caught and it’s supposed to dry the hair faster. Salons need time and the better dryers take less time. It also has a 2 year warranty which is amazing. Spending more money on something like that and that will last a little longer is totally worth it.” What fashion and beauty magazine is your favorite and why? In-Style Magazine has a good selection of trends. There’s hair, nails, and beauty all in one. We carry it in the salon and I like flipping through it to see the trends. It’s fun to step back, sit down and relax to read something that’s easy to digest. Advice to your younger self: Set goals and achieve them. Take time to make them (short or long term) and don’t lose sight of them. Try your best to achieve them. Hair Stylist Misconceptions Kyra says a huge misconception would most likely be her age. People tend to wonder if she’ll know what she’s doing or if she can only do hair on younger people. Kyra focuses on being well-rounded to be able to work on every type of hair and to see what each client needs. Favorite Retail Store? “Sephora has a great selection and everyone there is helpful. It would probably be my favorite to visit. I also love Ulta and it’s closer to me and I don’t have to deal with the mall traffic. Both stores are great places to get whatever you need and get any help with products.” Who knows you best? Kyra’s immediate response is her sister who recently moved in with her. She said they’ve always been close but Kyra went to college and moved away and then her sister did the same so they haven’t had an opportunity to be around each other like this since high school. She says even apart they had a close relationship and talked every day. They both love to help each other emotionally and they can read each other easily. Where can we find you? Instagram @kyrakloeppinghair

I’m talking today with Jeffrey Lazos Ferns - Gallery Director at C Gallery Art in Scottsdale, Arizona. The gallery opened a coffee shop inside and I introduced myself to him and we could’ve talked all day! Jeffrey is a native Arizonan. He’s worked with DC Ranch Art in administration over 25 years. He mentions working under the “whole umbrella” of the arts. His passion is arts and culture with a focus at looking at art in the community and using art as a catalyst for positive change. There are many variations of art where you can use it to build bridges in society and within communities.         Jeffrey’s current position as Gallery Director for C Gallery Art came to him while he was working in Administration and Communications for Arizona American Indian Tourism Association. The pandemic hit and he knew that it would take a while for the industry to fully recover. Charlene Falk, owner of the gallery had a very specific vision for the director position and he was chosen based on his past experience and the collective vision they had for the gallery. The space used to be a realty office but the gallery has been in that space for a year. They closed for a month during the pandemic and then put together a plan and vision for the gallery in May and June. The idea as they move into their art season is to do public programs and build on the vision of being an arts and culture hub that features female artists. Who inspired you to show women’s artwork? Jeffrey was raised by single mother who had eight kids, four of them being sisters. He describes her as a very feminist and strong woman that encompassed the values of a mother - love, family and caring. Jeffrey notes that throughout his many roles in his career in the arts that there’s always been a big presence of the patriarchy and even in the sub roles in museums a lot of women were running leadership roles but their art wasn’t being showcased. They would be really talented as artists but would take a position as an administrator because their work wasn’t valued; maybe not intentionally but old institutions weren’t able to look past those blocks for so long. Jeffrey states, “Being connected to strong women my entire life I knew that this wasn’t what I should do, this is what I have to do. My mother, being a native woman of color, didn't let anyone tell her she couldn’t do anything. That mentality is what I see in so many extraordinary women artists."

I thought I knew what “Me Time” was from reading books and asking questions. But what I’m finding out as I continue with my life is that it doesn’t have to be a ‘selfish’ activity like taking a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. It also doesn’t have to be with just yourself. You can do something with a friend that you both enjoy Living in Arizona, ‘me time’ involves a lot of hiking trails and visiting the great spas and resorts in the area. I know that it’s important to take time out of my day to fill my cup up and recharge by doing something I like. Whether it’s aqua aerobics, spinning classes or walking on the treadmill, physical exercise and the chance to quiet my mind allows me to nurture my spirit. This helps me to be more present in my life and my relationships and to center my heart and channel my passions towards things that I enjoy. When I’m able to do this, I can focus on being more creative when I’m serving others. Working at half capacity doesn’t serve anyone. You can be a physical body in a room during a meeting but if you aren’t contributing to the conversation because you’re worn down, then who are you really serving? Is Me Time Selfish? Many people ask themselves this and you really have to stop and think about what you’re doing each day. It can be more beneficial in the long run to take five minutes out of your day to simply read or look at photographs. It will help fuel your spirit and recharge your brain.

What does this phrase mean? Many of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. We tell ourselves we’re well. We surround ourselves with people that make us feel safe but also don’t stretch us past our comfort zones.               Read more HERE.

I’m talking with Shannon Quagliata who has been a real estate agent for the past fifteen years. In the most recent two she has created a new app for phones called Pre Open House which is an open house directory with some amazing features.         Real Estate Beginnings Shannon got her first taste with the housing market when she relocated to China with her now ex husband. A girlfriend of hers was involved with a relocation company and she came on as a relocation consultant in order to help people transition to China. It felt great being able to be the familiar face to people who needed guidance in a new country. Read more Here.

Today I’m talking with Summer Bronson, a personal trainer here in Arizona. She owns her own personal training business, Summertime Fitness. She’s originally from South Dakota but has lived here for two years and has had her personal business for over a year now. Summer is a dream chaser and in the prime of her life. She knows how to make her own fun and doesn’t rely on anyone else for her happiness. Starting a Business From Scratch Summer says, “Women need to empower women and we do that for each other. We’re both in the middle of our lives and we’re more inspired than ever.” It’s crucial that people realize that things don’t have to slow down for you as you get older. Read more HERE

Today I am talking with Jolene Conway who is a licensed therapist and counselor living in Denver, Colorado. She works part time through her private practice with clients who have anxiety and digestive issues. On top of her counseling work she also has a degree in Functional Nutrition. Jolene says it’s important to think about the whole person instead of just parts when looking at connections between the mind, body and soul. She is now the Director of Clinical Programs at Sondermind where she supports therapists and their own private practices in order to help them thrive. Sondermind allows people to better serve their community by helping individuals get matched with the right therapist. Check out more HERE

This week’s episode The Benefits of Being An Independent Woman covers the upside of being independent. Obviously, there’s drawbacks to but we thought that during the pandemic it was important to highlight the positive things. Especially, since so many people have just lost their jobs or been laid off. For me the flexibility alone is worth the hard work and effort it takes to be independent.    Read more HERE

What does it mean to you to love your life at any age? Sherrod says, “Loving my life comes from the center of my being. I have to love myself before I can love others. Doing for other people allows me to share the love that I have within my own heart.” In the past years, this has looked different for Sherrod. She retired ten years ago. She says she has gotten wiser throughout that time period. It’s important to continue to learn through all stages of your life and the more that you learn the wiser you get, especially when it comes to human behavior. Read more HERE.

Today I am talking with Kimberly Lichty: painter, wife, mom and entrepreneur. We went to grade school together in Indiana and we’ve managed to stay friends throughout the years. She’s the type of friend that’s easy to talk to and can always find the right words for the emotions I’m feeling during the hardest or most wonderful times in my life. She is a talented acrylic painter and sells her paintings at Uptown Kitchen near the University of Notre Dame.  Being authentic is popular right now in all forms- social media, on television and with celebrities. The time has come where it is good to be close to your emotions and to talk about your real feelings.  Read more HERE

What Does Lift and Shift Mean and How Can it Serve You? My name is Jennifer Deputy and I am currently living in Phoenix Arizona. I grew up around a boat manufacturing business, so I like to say that I grew up in entrepreneurship thanks to my dad. I learned how to promote, sell, and eventually launch products. I did this by coming up with original ideas and following my idea to fruition in order to sell it to the public. Read more Here