Swipeless in Seattle, A Dating Podcast

So we talked about the masses not always being great at picking date ideas, and we felt we couldn't end that conversation without offering some solutions of our own. Due to the above, this episode focuses on good slash great date ideas you may not have thought of before. We go way too local for some ideas, and keep it nice and general for others so that our non-seattle listeners can feel included and warm inside. The space needle might be mentioned, but we promise it'll be brief and mostly painless. 

Is it a thing? Are you doomed to never meet anyone again because you live in this area? In this episode, we talk about the dreaded "Seattle Freeze". Not so much about whether it's real (it is), but more about what you can do about it and where the silver linings can be found. 

In this episode, we go over a list of common phrases found in dating profiles along with humorous translations for each. This is mostly comedic, your actual mileage may vary.

In this episode, we kvetch about how some people can't seem to come up with good date ideas. We go over the importance of effort, enthusiasm, and taking turns at the wheel when it comes to picking and planning dates. 

In this episode, "Lilly" and "Julio" channel their inner thespian to re-enact some questionable text conversations. They also critique profile pics for your amusement, because what better way to get a visual sense of something than to have someone else describe it to you with words. Let us be your eyes and ears as we delve into this adventure! 

We continue to painstakingly go down the list of popular dating advice quotes and voice our opinions for your amusement. This week: "stop trying to find the right person and instead try to be the right person", "just because it could have been different, doesn't mean it would have been better" and "you accept the love you think you deserve", among others. 

In this episode, we read pithy one-liners from the world of dating advice and discuss them. Is it right on the money, or far from the point? Examples include "be honest about what you want" (duh) and "no reply IS a reply", among others

Nothing ever dies on the internet. With that said, should I send naked pictures to someone? If so, when? why? how? In this episode, we talk about this from many angles. How fun! 

My BF cancelled my birthday because it lands on Christmas. How long should I wait before moving in with my new GF and her kids? I'm not mentally stimulated by my partner. We give some surprising answers in this one. 

So I'm out in the real world, how do I like start talking to people and stuff? In this episode, we'll give out tips for starting conversations, assessing mutual interest, and generating a fun interaction for everyone involved! 

Another round of quick and dirty dating advice! We talk about whether dating is mostly luck, what to do in those moments when you miss being with someone, but most importantly: My BF keeps stealing my food after insisting he's not hungry, wat do? Not Lilly and Not Julio go deep on this last one, mentioning healthy boundaries and the importance of a balanced diet. 

Some say meeting people at bars is no longer a thing, while others are meeting people at bars. In this episode, we give some tips on which bars to pick, how to get to know people and start conversations, and the unexpected benefits of becoming a part of the community. 

Adult sports leagues are a great place to meet people in real life. And don't worry, they don't have to be traditional competitive sports (for example: did you know there are mini golf leagues? we sure didn't). It's all about the drinks before and after anyway, so in this episode we'll give you some good suggestions for finding a sports league that is in-line with your interests as well as for enjoying yourself along the way. 

Now that you've started attending meetup events, you may have noticed that some lead to socialization more than others. With so many groups and events out there, it's hard to know what to pick given your interests and desire to meet like minds. In this episode, we talk about how to browse for meetups, picking events that will lead to interesting conversation, and we even go over some of the groups and events we've liked so far. 

In this episode, we insist on continuing to talk about how to meet people out in the real world. In this case, by attending meetups using meetup.com! (not a sponsor btw). This episode focuses less on finding the right meetups (future episode btw) and more on getting started. We'll talk about living with the pre-event jitters, not talking yourself out of going, and wtf to do once you're actually there, among other things.

Sometimes it's much easier to assess chemistry in real life instead of through dating apps, so we are kicking off a new episode series that'll walk you through how to meet people in the real world.  But before we get into specifics, let's go over some ground rules to keep in mind whenever you go out into the world (whether it's bars, meetups, etc.) Things like being assertive, the importance of surrendering expectations, having fun with the process, and more.

Lilly is wondering if some of the dating advice aimed at women is actually valid or just another dead end. She asks Julio to give his thumbs up (or thumbs down) on specific advice about how to effectively attract men (spoiler: some of it is solid, some of it is way off). 

Instead of going deep on one or two questions, we're giving some very quick-and-dirty advice on as many questions as we can fit in a 20 minute episode. Is it ok for someone to have multiple pics with the same person? I like him but he's in a frat what do I do? I'm taller than her but she says I'm not tall enough? We solve these and other world problems. 

Boundaries are the new black, everyone. They're sexy, they're useful, you need them and you can wear them past labor day! In this episode, we discuss the obvious as well as the less evident benefits of boundaries when out in the dating scene. Emotional health, increased attraction, better compatibility matching, and more...

After being married and losing their spouse, this person found what they feel was a deeper love with someone new. Their new relationship is over, however, and this person wonders if they will ever find such a deep connection again, while also wrestling with guilt over not having felt as deep a love for their former spouse or other people in their past. Lots of advice on this one. 

Is it ok to keep an ex in your life? How does that impact dating and new relationships? In this episode, we explore different flavors of this and discuss the implications for your potential partner. Shared dog custody is also discussed. 

In this dating advice episode, someone asks why it's important to love yourself before you can love someone else. We give many reasons for that, including being able to see beyond your feelings to support your partner and the feelings that can come up for a partner who is mainly in a supporting role without receiving support of their own. 

You've done the work, you've been on countless first dates, and finally you've found someone with whom you share chemistry, butterflies, etc. Now what? In this episode, we talk about the early stages of dating when compatibility is present. Maybe spending every single moment together is not the best idea. Maybe you shouldn't show up with a U-Haul to the 5th date. We'll go over some healthy things to keep in mind as you begin to get to know this new person. 

In this episode, we're not going to judge you for wanting to date a crazy person. It's appealing, we've been there, we get it. After some quick disclaimers to let you know what a f#cking horrible idea that is, we're going to talk about how to minimize the inevitable damage of engaging with crazy. It won't end well, but here's how you can walk through it if you insist on learning through experience. 

Netflix and Chill, baby! In this episode, we talk about the finer details of visiting someone's place for the first time, OR having them over to your place for the first time. Did you clean your bathroom? Do the hangings on their walls make you rethink your entire trajectory? We go over these and other important things to keep in mind. 

Enough about red flags, what are some green flags you can notice while on the early stages of dating someone? In this episode, we go over different signs that show relationship potential with another person. 

In this episode, we discuss the pros and cons of dating someone you work with. We also get personal with our own stories of dating people in the workplace, and discuss different dating scenarios we've seen in the workplace over the span of our careers. 

In this episode, we talk about dating one person versus dating multiple people during the EARLY stages of hitting the dating scene. Is it more efficient to talk to multiple people? Am I not getting the most out of online dating by talking to only one person at a time? What do I do once I find someone I want to date seriously? We offer different perspectives for different mindsets and dating goals. 

"Julio" and "Lily" open up their hearts, as well as the deepest recesses of their repressed memories, to bring you some of their bad date stories! 

More dating advice! Someone asks: Is it better to ask a woman if I can give her my number, instead of asking for theirs? We dive into actual advice, after Julio misinterprets the question.  Also, how important are common interests? We talk about commonalities, the importance of friendship in a relationship, and balancing that with the need for personal space. 

We recently ran into a surprisingly contentious issue: Who pays for the first date? The person who asked out the other? Should you split the bill? Perhaps the company responsible for the app that got you there in the first place should pick up the tab? There are no right answers on this one, so we explore different perspectives and preconceptions while laughing along the way. 

In this unusually lengthy episode, we talk about how to transition from messaging/texting to actual irl dating. We go over the importance of meaningful interactions through messaging, not spending too long in texting limbo (unless you are looking for a pen pal), and coming from a place of self-worth when dealing with occasional rejection. Not-Lilly also shares some specific ways to make someone comfortable enough to ask you out, which led us to discuss the importance of communicating interest. 

This dating advice episode is about desperation. This person is self aware enough to ask: "How do I stop being desperate?" We talk about common causes for desperation, how it can keep you from seeing the true personality of anyone you meet, and ways to shift your perspective towards contentment with your current place in life. We also talk about the similarities between it and addiction, and how continuously longing for a partner can be detrimental for your personal growth. 

The dating scene can be a rollercoaster, and it's sometimes tempting to lose sight of vulnerable optimism and instead lean towards the fleeting comfort of cynicism. In this episode, we talk about common causes for cynicism, and ways to not lose sight of the good things. 

One of our listeners asks: why so many pictures with sunglasses? Are they trying to hide something? And also, not-lilly gets an unexpected text from a long-forgotten person that leads to hilarious analysis and advice. 

The dating world can be exhausting to traverse at times, leading to feelings of hopelessness, cynicism or worse. In this episode, we talk about what it means to feel burnt out from dating, the importance of taking breaks and taking care of yourself, and things you can do before jumping back onto the dating scene.

In this dating advice episode, We give some perspective to a woman that felt a bit intimidated by her date's rugged good looks. Also, some quick advice to a man complaining about sleep problems with his newfound love interest. The sleep problems are not what we thought, they will not be what you think, and the advice we give is both hilarious and timely. 

Sometimes, you need more than two perspectives on things. So, get ready for our very first group dating discussion! With seven participants in total, we go around the table and discuss different dating-related topics such as "How long does it take to know if you have chemistry with someone", "What are some green flags you look for during a first date", and more! It's fun, it's funny, it's gluten-free, and we hope you like it! 

A silver lining of this past year has been an increased tolerance for virtual dates before a real date. In this episode, we talk about why it might be a good idea to meet over video first, what things you can watch out for, and how to bring your best self forward by choosing your environment wisely. 

We all have our list of must-haves, but are you being too picky? In this episode, we discuss the difference between preferences and deal-breakers (yes, there is a difference). We will go over some ways to distinguish between the two, and urge our listeners to remember that in some cases "perfect" is the enemy of "good". 

In this episode, we discuss the impact of existing for-profit models on online dating in general and online dating users specifically. These apps are a business, and they use many different ways to keep users on their platform and have them spend as much money as possible before finding lasting matches. It's not good, it's not bad, but it is a reality so we may as well discuss it.

This week, more dating advice! This question was a doozy so it took up its own episode: We talk about the importance of taking time to heal before going back in the dating pool, and the difficulties in assessing compatibility with a new partner if you still haven't dealt with lingering feelings for previous relationships (with some tough love in between). 

We already talked about the dont's for profile pictures. In this episode, we are all about the do's! Do post flattering pictures, Do post pictures that show your interests (but are flattering first), Do post pictures in different outfits (that are flattering), Do post SOME pictures with friends (if it's only a fraction of your total pictures, and flattering), Do post pictures of you smiling (in a flattering way). Think you get the gist? You don't, so listen to this one. 

There are some things you may NOT want to include in your profile bio. So many, that we covered the things you SHOULD include in a previous episode. In this episode, we'll go over things you might not want to include, things you definitely should not include, and things that may or may not be relevant to different aspects of your life but might not be worth mentioning right out of the gate. We hope you like it. 

In this episode, we talk about engaging in the dating process while maintaining respect for yourself. You deserve to be treated as a person, on the first date as much as on the last date. And while it is tempting to let your standards slack after one-too-many first dates, it is important to remember that embodying what you want from someone is one of the best ways to find it. Enjoy. 

There are many things you should include in your profile bio. So many, that we'll have to leave the things you should NOT include for another episode. In this episode, we'll go over things you should include, things you could include, and things that may or may not be relevant to different aspects of your life but might be worth mentioning. We hope you like it. 

Late 20's, friends getting married, I'm not getting married, I'm never getting married, my life is over, i'll be alone forever. In this episode, we talk about how life and love don't end at 30, the importance of single friends, and the illusory nature of certain milestones set by our culture. 

Are common interests important? Am I too tall for any guy to want to date me? Will I die alone surrounded only by my cats? We answer these and more questions. 

Everyone is great and mentally stable and has never had any clinical issues on dating profiles. Everyone is lying. In this episode, we talk about reading between the lines to hopefully get a better idea of who you're messaging and save yourself the drudgery of a terrible first date. 

Which pics make the best pics for a dating profile? You probably know better than to upload pics with your ex (hopefully) but what about everything else? In this episode, we go into why giving the camera the middle finger or holding up dead fish may not be the best idea. 

Which dating apps are best for dating? Which apps are best for getting your heart broken and ending up living under a bridge hugging an old couch cushion someone threw away? We dive deep on this one.