Things You Should Know But Probably Don't

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Friends and former radio breakfast show hosts(until they were canned,) Ivan and Emma continue to entertain you with their no holds barred humour and mind blowing facts that will guarantee to make you cleverer, popular and more attractive.... probably.

Ivan & Emma


    • Feb 28, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 29m AVG DURATION
    • 37 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Things You Should Know But Probably Don't

    WOODEN TIT

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2022 31:29


    Recorded during storm Eunice, and before nuclear war. Ivan and Emma find themselves contemplating and exploring the facts of superficial enhancements such as MAKE UP and TATTOOS. Is this self aware journey embarked on too late at the dawn of world destruction? Sorry, have I made this heavy? heavy like a boob made out of wood.

    SEX AND RUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2022 28:08


    Every decision YOU have ever made in YOUR life, has led you to THIS Episode Description... You are here for a reason my friend....Why is Ringo Star edgy when walking past Cher?Did Paul McCartney really fancy the Queen?Do Horses have boobs?Can confidently answer any of these questions? What If you scroll past, never download this episode, and go to your grave, never knowing? UNTHINKABLE

    HOW DO YOU ORGANISE A PARTY IN SPACE? YOU PLANET!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2022 32:05


    Back for 2022 and ropier than ever!  Facts today are about SPACE and BIRTHDAYS. Did you know theres a cloud of Raspberry Rum in space? No? Well step right in to Emma's NEW house where this episode was recorded! Yes this episode features THE famous Poo-jug. sorry. not sorry.

    BALLBAGS AND SEMEN IS A LITTLE BIT RUDE....OLF

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2021 29:15


    We end the year in a proverbial Cul-de-sac , what that sack is made out of will blow your mind. This episode is highly offensive to people of Canada, Australia, some of the middle east and definitely not China. 

    CHRISTMAS BONUS CONTENT - BOILING AN EGG IN A VAGINA

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2021 7:24


    You've heard of a Tagine to cook food. Well, how about a Vagine....a. Here is a OUTTAKE from last weeks episode, so slightly rude and puerile, we decided to make it a stand alone episode. Not for the faint hearted, or those wanting a boiled egg from a saucepan.

    1 JUMP, 1 WHISTLE AND 1 FART FEATURING BONO

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2021 24:49


    In this episode find out which country eating magic mushrooms in a graveyard is a GOOD idea annnnd Forget TikTok, back in medieval times, you could get PAID by farting at the king. ShitTok I'd call it if it were around today (Zuckerberg, call me)

    IF UR A PLUMBER AT THANKSGIVING - URINE TROUBLE

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2021 24:24


    We return from a short hiatus while Emma moved house!We're back and better than ever with RIVETING facts about "Buildings" and..... WAIT, really? We bounce back with building facts? FFS! This is the worst comeback since Michael Jackson did that comeback concert ( Yeah, that one) THIS IS IT! *Correction* THIS IS IT??

    SIR ISAAC NEWTONS PUSSY FLAPS

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2021 31:50


    Yes, you found this in the "Educational" section.Yes it's rated 18+THIS is how school should have been!Facts this week include dreaming about strangers and feeding cats sweets.REMEMBER- If a stranger cat offers you sweets. Just say Ne-ow.

    THE FISH PRINCE OF BEL HAIR

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2021 28:00


    Now, this is a Podcast all about howYou attract sharks and turn your hair from brownAnd we'd like to take 28 minutesJust sit right thereI'll tell you how I became the FISH of a town called Bel HAIRROLL CREDITS (Will Smith, Call me)

    DON'T BE SO CUMDESCENDING

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2021 28:19


    If you, or someone you know has ever fallen down the stairs, this podcast is a MUST! (QVC call me) 

    SCARE LINGUS FLIGHT POEING 747

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2021 27:28


    Be honest, how many other podcasts do you know, start with a queef and end with a queef?I'd like to see The One Show copy THAT!

    OMG EMMAS HUSBAND WIPES HIS ARSE WITH HIS BARE HAND

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2021 35:19


    Why you shouldn't have sex in a hot tub, swim in the Ganges, or have a cup of  tea at Emma's house. 

    THE TRIVIAL PURSUIT OF HAPPY MEALS

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2021 24:16


    This episode starts with Emma Rubbing her boobs. Ratings winner right there.

    MORE-CUM FREEMAN

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2021 27:36


    In this ep Ivan details how to bring on labor, tooth decay & lawsuits. Emma, meanwhile, solves that pesky "world peace" issue with a cheeky strum. Geldof, call me. 

    BEAUTY AND THE BEAST-IALITY

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2021 24:07


    This week Emma stumbles out of a Covid-hell-hole, while Ivan tries to climb into a dolphins blowhole.  Along the way Nazis eat carrots and Disney princesses will be punched.  Tarantino, call me.

    YOU ARE GOING STRAIGHT TO HELLVETICA!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2021 28:23


    This week Ivan returns in general AND has returned from a wedding with THE grimmest fact you never knew. Emma is celebrating her mates double donor baby, not to be confused with a double doner with salad and garlic mayo (I mean, the product looks  similar if you really think about it ) 

    DON'T WORRY - WE'VE GOT YOUR BACTERIA

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2021 28:49


    A trip to the dentist inspires Emmas facts this week as she gets into the nitty gritty of oral bacteria whilst Ivan takes a deep dive down the toilet!

    JIMINY CRICKET! THESE ARE SOME GREAT FACTS

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2021 29:39


    This week Ivan shares some mind bending facts about octopus sex after watching a documentary on the 8 armed sea creatures and Emma gets very British and decides to talk about the weather.

    MIGHT AS WELL HUMP

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2021 33:21


    Emma has Eurovision fever this week and brings us 3 insane facts about the country Iceland,  (they should've won!). Whilst Ivan has sex on the brain and looks into type of contraceptions that were available back in the day! (and by day he means.... a long long time ago)

    INCEST, INSECTS AND SPAM (HAM IN A CAN)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2021 32:26


    After her children discover the 90s pop smash Barbie girl Emma decides to see what insane facts there are about the iconic child's doll. Ivan on the other hand decides that insects deserve his attention on this weeks episode.

    CHEEKY ONE BEHIND THE BINS

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2021 29:11


    As lock down eases and pubs re open Ivan decides to take a deep dive into the world of booze this week whilst Emma gets hands on with her facts. 

    DON'T TEACH YOU GRAN HOW TO SUCK EGGS... (SHE DEAD)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2021 32:53


    This week Emma explores some incredible facts about fire after nearly burning down her mother in laws kitchen whilst Ivan takes a look at some of the world's most outrageous food traditions.

    SOMETHING TO TICKLE YOUR TESTES

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2021 30:17


    Ivan keeps it classy this week and gives you some incredible facts about the internet and Haagen Dazs ice cream  whilst Emma stoops low and tells you things you definitely didn't know about the male anatomy.

    IF YOU CAN THINK OF A BETTER FISH PUN...LET MINNOW

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2021 31:47


    Its Easter and Emma is about to discover, courtesy of Ivans facts this week, there is alot more to bunnies than just hopping and floppy ears. Meanwhile Emma ruins Finding Nemo for EVERYONE!

    LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DINOSAURS

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2021 31:50


    Ivan spends this epside explaining to Emma why she should be in prison due to celebrating birthdays whilst  Emma goes full on random with her facts. All this plus dinosaurs!

    WE HAD SEX

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2021 34:21


    Ivan and Emma finally discuss the elephant in the room!

    JAILHOUSE CROC

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2021 32:42


    This week Ivan starts a bidding war with Russell Crowe and Emma tells us all about a relationship between one man and his pet crocodile.

    P...P...PROBABLY THE WORST P...P...PODCAST THAT INVOLVES P...P...PENGUINS

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2021 32:28


    Penguin Poking, why you don't want to be a married woman in Bolivia and why Japanese nightclubs have to turn their light o after midnight. Where else can you find this kid of random shit?!

    BIRD SHIT

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2021 30:50


    In the words of the great Roy Walker, this week Ivan and Emma "say what they see".  Episode 9 is simply bird shit!

    A SORRY PROSTATE OF AFFAIRS (A BUM NOTE)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2021 34:13


    Probably should have called this episode TMI. It includes things you really don't need to know about Emma's kooky fetish, plus some mind blowing facts related to doctors and water.

    A LOBSTAR IS BORN

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2021 30:12


    This week we celebrate the news that 2020 is no more with an incredible story about a very very old Clam plus Emma shocks Ivan with some historical facts on the lowly potato masher!

    YOU WONT BRIE LIEVE THE FACTS IN THIS EPISODE

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 3, 2021 34:11


    Emma discusses the disgusting wonders of illegal cheese whilst Ivan explores the most insane borders crossing around the world! 

    THE SCHLONG AND WINDING CHODE

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2020 33:47


    In probably the dirtiest episode so far, Emma brings a phallic filled fact fest and Ivan reveals how a rabbit cocktail can guarantee your baby's gender.....(Probably)

    SON OF A BEECH

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2020 28:26


    This week Emma shares news on a special tree that could cure you of your Eczema but also pop a cap in you! and Ivan lovingly compares a prehistoric reptile to James Corden.

    QUEEN LAQUEEFAH

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2020 27:44


    This week we cover which animal queefs to scare off predators and what revolting old dating tradition sounds like a Bushtucker Trial.

    IF YOU LIKE IT PUT A STING ON IT

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2020 26:28


    This week Emma shares her appreciation of the massive Dorking cock, (spoiler alert. It's not Ivan.) There's accidental incest in the royal family, bee sex and some crazy football facts thrown in too. Enjoy

    BAD MOTHER PUTTER

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2020 31:33


    In the very first  episode,   Emma challenges Ivan to tell the difference between an  orgasm and labour pains, and Ivan  attempts to guess exactly what hospitalised the cast and crew of the 1997 Oscar winner Titanic. All this and much much more.

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