Uniquely Common

This is a guest episode where I was interviewed by Derrick Hamilton on his podcast, Unfiltered.I've met with more than a few people recently who seem unhappy in their relationships and can't seem to understand why they can't fix things.There's all kinds of reasons we haven't fixed the relationship yet, and in some cases, we don't even know why we stay...we just do.See my original article that prompted this interview at https://kevinbergen.com/what-keeps-us-going-back/

Hear Kevin interviewed by one of his former students, and grad student in psychology training to be a therapist. She asks him all about communication: Is business communication different from personal communication? Can communication be broken down into components so you can learn it and get better at it? Why would you want to understand someone you don't agree with? When Kevin talks about dysfunction, what does he mean about a relationship not being a relationship? Sepi and Erin host their podcast, PsychedAbout at https://anchor.fm/psychedabout The podcast that Kevin mentions at the end of the interview is ALL IN #189 with Melaney Tagg --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/support

How would you like it if your partner listened to you? What if you had the power to feel heard? Listen to learn about this little-known tool that, once you master it, will help you to never feel ignored or shut out again. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/support

I've seen so many men who grew up believing that they have to push through life doing everything on their own so they end up feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, and living a life they never expected. Improvement takes courage. It requires decision making. Commit to Courageous Decsions now! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/support

Lookin' to make some changes? Then order this book now! Personality Isn't Permanent is a new release from Benjamin P. Hardy, and in this episode I tell why you need it. Order it here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/607021/personality-isnt-permanent-by-benjamin-hardy-phd/ Or get the first chapter here: https://benjaminhardy88-gmail-com.ck.page/cfb71d6ac8 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/support

What if we infected everyone . . . with a better outlook?  . . . with kindness and hope and optimism? This blog post by Scott Barker struck me deeply, so I'm sharing with you here. See Scott's blog at www.bakadesuyo.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

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Kevin’s Instagram account: @kb_photoart • Some who are down want to wallow in their misery. Not much you can do for them. But for you, if you want to improve how you feel, here’s a proven approach that works. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Here’s how I have stayed calm during the scare of the virus who must not be named. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Your self image is based on these two theories: we believe ANY message that we hear enough times, and once we are adults, those messages have to come from inside. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

This method came to me when a client had intrusive thoughts that were negative and upsetting. It has since helped many people from their worries or cravings. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin hasn't created a podcast episode for a few weeks. This one is a sampling of some posts he's recorded recently. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Ron McKinnon is the mandolin master who provided the bumper music by Bach in my last piece, The Written Word. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

[CbyK] Curation by Kevin • Get the weekly email by visiting realkev.in/cbyk8021 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Author, Wilson Rawls, gave this speech in the early '70s. Sit back and listen to one of the most enjoyable speeches you'll ever hear. • Jim Trelease's Intro • Grammar Remarks to Teachers • Growing Up With Sisters • Wading the River to School • A Country Boy's First Books • "Call of the Wild" • A Writer Awakens • The Great Depression Dawns • Begging for Help and Food • Finally—A Job! • Writing and Roaming • A Wife (and editor) • Burning Manuscripts • Quit Working and Start Writing • Keep Writing • Saved by 5,000 Teachers • One Regret • Bonus Track --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin gets a book about poetry for Christmas, and it started THIS whole commentary and dialogue with Paul O’Mahony in Cork, Ireland——I want to share my thrill! • I want YOU to feel this, too! • Paul Requests Permission • You have Carte Blanche! • Poetry is an Awkward Thing (Paul) • A blessing from Paul • When Paul Heard My Poetry Sequence • An Irishman's Response About Poetry • An Irishman's Response About Poetry (2) • Poetry wrap up --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

How often have you said you can’t when in reality you’re simply unwilling? Join Kevin in this discussion about achievement, perseverance, and giving up. Can’t or Won’t? • Ray on Can’t/Won’t • Applying “can’t” to the self versus others • Ray on Impossibility • YES! If you CAN’T, then practice • When “can’t” does and doesn’t apply • Ray on "Best They Can" • Ray on Short Sightedness • Ray on Perseverance • Wrapping up Can’t/Won’t --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin wants to make sure it’s understood this is not a rant. He says it’s a commentary. It’s simply how he feels about cussing in public, in private, and on air. Then Jenafer Elan chimes in with her wisdom and experience. Kevin on swearing • I don’t effing like expletives • Jenafer on Cursing --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin reflects on New Year’s and goalsetting. He takes to the street and asks random people whether they make resolutions or set goals anymore. NYs: A time to reflect? • NYs man on the street • More man on the street • Still more man on the street • Last man on the street • Planet Call & Kudos • Man on the street wrap up --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Pulled in different directions in his attitude toward animals, Kevin discusses his conflict and the soft place in his heart. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin explains why gratitude is so important. Originally aired on Thanksgiving Day 2017 • Link here: realkev.in/cbyk7113 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

There’re two kinds of people: those who see their birthday as a number and those who see it as a day to celebrate. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin offers guidance to someone in a relationship crisis • Lulu’s feedback • Kevin’s Response --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

“I love you, lady!” • THE EXCHANGE • Could you? Would you? • Debbie, your thoughts? • Debbie's Thoughts • Happening TO us • Debbie's Story • From Debbie to Ray • Ray’s Thoughts • Make a Difference --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin uses an email he received to illustrate the wonderful impact we have on others, often without knowing it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

First things to attend to when your primary relationship hits a bump (or crashes!). --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin shares an example of WHY we need to speak up. (hint: it’s for ourselves) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Anchor personality Kevin Touch interviews Kevin Bergen about broadcasting, his book, his help with couples, and something listeners don’t know about him. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

If I embrace a mistake . . . • Made ya laugh!! • Andy Proctor & Automaticity --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin fields a question: it’s more about the resulting connection than the tension. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin reads an essay by Shira Lichtman about weakness, fear, overcoming, and growth. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin tackles grief and loss, and he shows us how to meet it in a positive way—a way that’s much more pleasant. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Go To Church • Agnostics & Church • The Benefits • Helps Kids • Prevents Narrowness • More Freethinking • Promotes Service • Greater Health • Is This Bunk? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin solves the riddle of a non-communicative spouse. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin reports briefly from the Labor Day street fair in Hermosa Beach, CA • featuring artist Joe Vickers http://instagram.com/joevickersart --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

"Things" I appreciate • Entertainment vs Information • Not beating myself up… over and over • Just a complaint --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

A produced segment in which Kevin muses about whether people want to learn or be entertained. He shares his own tastes that likely influence his style of broadcasting. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

What do you collect? Things or experiences? Is one better than the other? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Weekend Best of • Jessie's Very Wonderful Music • 'sWonderful • CbyK • Mental Illness • Station ID • 7th Sense? • Catfished? • Cherise's Theme Song Cover --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Faith Angelina • Others are going through things • What Matters in 20 Years • Don't Listen, Dog Lovers! • Intro to The Best Response • The Best Response (to a bad review) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Touch is Killing Men • Helping Cherise • Helping Our Sister •

Kevin shares an article from Medium.com about an inside view of mental illness. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

This episode announces the release of something very special. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Who knew?? Men and women are different. Google doesn't seem to know it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Short fiction by Kevin Bergen. Originally written for a Toastmasters speech contest, but it was disqualified for being too long. The Setting • The Ascent • The Revelation • The Descent --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Kevin shares an article by Marc & Angel of "Marc and Angel Hack Life" at www.marcandangel.com This article focuses on what will matter a lot less in 20 years. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Prediction: "Brendan Milburn" will soon be a well-known name. https://www.patreon.com/BrendanMilburn --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

Cherise Taylor made a plea from her station. I remixed it and did my best to help. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

How I destress with spiders . . . um, in spite of spiders. Pt 1 Spider

Kevin reads a very important article by Mark Greene that first appeared on the Good Men Project. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message

I read a perfect response by a hotel manager to a bad review on tripadvisor.com Intro to The Best Response • The Best Response (to a bad review) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kevinbergen/message