Useless Opinions

We’re back! Now on Fridays! Blair can’t handle her liquor. Dan’s grandma is worried about his socks. At a certain point one of us sings Roundabout. This was supposed to be a podcast about beanies.

BLAIR AND DAN ARE BACK IN THE SAME ROOM! And we celebrate that by, like usual, being all over the place. Everyone is hungry and a little silly. I can’t believe we’ve done this 30 times! 

Two episodes where Dan simply talks too much! An extraordinarily long intro with a lot of talk about an American third party bridges to a very long discussion about the most cruel and brilliant invention in the history of reality television. Names will be dropped, segments will be done, and hopefully Blair will get to talk about something that she’s obsessed with one day.

Full disclosure, we no longer believe this opinion that we wrote almost a year ago. Phoebe can take care of herself! But if you give a listen, after a few bits about one of the more serious Jewish holidays, we present to you a pretty earnest and passionate discussion of an artist we admire and her work! Dan quotes a lot of lyrics, Blair makes excellent points about the creative process, and we discuss our opposite experiences seeing Fall Out Boy in our adolescence.

Our longest intro ever! We celebrate the birthday week of one of our hosts, and then pivot briefly into discussing the theme of the episode before various tangents. We read a LISTENER opinion!!!! We discuss our complicated feelings about jam bands and Ben & Jerrys! It’s a good time! 

Be warned guys this one is a little THIRSTY!!! Blair and Dan talk about the people and things they find hot, Mamma Mia 2, Pancakes, Dan being sick, and we see a triumphant double dose of Why Am I Like This, our great new segment. We hope you enjoy!

WELCOME TO THE BRAIN CHASM. Blair loses her shit about ricotta, Dan’s reality TV addiction might have gone too far, and what was the point of this episode? We don’t remember. Chaos encapsulated. No, no, YOU’RE welcome.

It’s a heady opinion, but don’t worry, we don’t stay there for long. We talk about this complicated concept for a second and then, as per usual, break into a bunch of different nonsense, including a brand new, Dan led segment, that may or may not be a winner. Will you listen to this one more than the Twilight one? We’ll see!

THE PROPHESIED DAY HAS ARRIVED! After 22 grueling episodes, Dan is rewarded with an opportunity to talk about Twilight, only for his wifi to go down. After Blair brilliantly stalls for time, this episode gives you a long monologue about Stephanie Meyer’s deeply strange, committed, and arresting fantasy world, as well as, somehow, the state of the Adult Musical. It’s a wild one!

Welcome back! After a week off, Blair regales us with a tale of their digital LSAT experience! We then dig into Britain’s second best blonde tenor-lead rock band, Coldplay! We then end up talking about a lot of stuff including our respective favorite Pokemon, and Dan tells Blair how many canonical Pokemon exist (it’s a lot). All and all, this is everything you should expect from us if you listened to the last 21 episodes.

Happy 21st to the podcast!!! To celebrate, we do what a lot of people do when they turn 21 and then proceed to shout about movies for the better part of 50 minutes! Are there shenanigans? You bet there are shenanigans. Do we talk about the Ratatouille TikTok Musical? You bet we talk about the Ratatouille TikTok Musical. Our best episode, unquestionably.

This episode is… unhinged. Blair has a gender announcement (no, not a baby), we get ASMR of a cat eating, and also a surprise visit from Dan’s sister, Casey! We made 20 episodes in the year 2020, which is pretty neat. Thank you for supporting, for listening, and here’s to a 2021 with a touch more shenanigans.

CW: addiction and rehabHo ho ho! Santa makes an appearance at the beginning of this historic holiday spectacular. We briefly discuss the incredibly silly titular opinion, and then launch for a long time into a dark and sobering conversation encompassing bleak current events, the state of the American education system, and a number of other things. But don’t worry, Santa comes back!

This week, we take a turn for the pedantic and discuss our distaste for the way people sometimes pronounce the name of Justin Vernon’s good band! After that, there’s a long discussion of our history with his music, a new segment (!!!!), a LOT of chaos, and we express two deeply cancelable opinions! At this point, we’re never gonna talk about Twilight :(

Okay so Blair left this audio on her other computer and disappeared for three weeks, but now you get an episode from the archives! Recorded shortly after that election, Dan and Blair revel in Guy Fieri again, Blair’s desire to age faster, and much to Dan’s dismay, they do not discuss Twilight.

We’re back! After an unintentional hiatus we give you an episode with some deeply passionate arguments on the state of citation in academia and the force for good that is Wikipedia. In the middle we go on to discuss family names and expectations, our pasts, and how messed up it is that Taylor was SEVENTEEN when the VMA incident happened. NOTE: This episode aired before Elliot Page had come out with her brave and incredible post, and we want to give you all a content warning, because we do unintentionally deadname him a few times this episode.

Well, I feel like we lost your trust on this one. We got a topic we didn’t want to do yet, and we redid the number generator to get a new one. If you can get past that, enjoy the strange combination of relief and fear of us recording post-election, an extended bit about Jon Ossoff, and a bunch of other stuff that has nothing to do with the title of the episode

Okay, buckle up folks. We start with a saga about the lack of vitamin D in offices and then take a quick turn to Dan promising Blair a TV, Blair learning about the Canadian government, and then a read through a diary all about smoked whitefish. Weird. As per usual!

We’re back in Dan’s bedroom and this episode has everything: our God Guy Fieri*, a deep dive into philosophy bros, Ohio voting, eggplant parm, and a healthy dose of Blair’s cynicism. *Guy Fieri is not a guest on this episode we just honor him

Our longest title! Join Dan and Blair from different states as we discuss our histories with pizza, and then just some general sources of sadness, interest, and hope. Maybe eat a pizza while you listen to this one!

It’s an actor-attractiveness double feature! Again, Dan and Blair are recording in the same room, but this time, we are not questioning whether or not Brian Cox is erotic, we are affirming that the septugenarian Scott is. Also we talk politics for a bit, and if you didn’t know what we were about in that regard, you know now!

WE MADE IT TO EPISODE TEN! In this very special episode, Blair and Dan are in the same room! After some technical difficulties, we discuss, among other things, whether or not we find Timothee Chalamet attractive, and, more importantly, in what contexts. Thank you for helping us get to this milestone!

Listeners rejoice! This is the episode in which Dan realizes that his good mic has been off for eight episodes and you’ve been listening to computer audio. While you enjoy the sudden jump in audio quality, also enjoy Blair and Dan struggling to articulate a complex opinion, and discussing the strangeness of Game of Thrones! But it’s the mic that’s the important one.

The thing is, we can barely speak English. Kermit the Frog makes an appearance here, James Bond (the cat) provides some ASMR, and Blair probably missed the portion where she should’ve added a ham horn somewhere in this edit. C’est la vie!

This is Blair’s vanity episode and the hill she will die on (but if you do spell Blaire with an e we are accepting and understanding). Dan introduces a new segment. Blair does a really bad British accent. Dan also expresses his worries about every child star ever.

In this episode, Blair realizes she is the last Nodelman and has a slight mental breakdown on air. We also talk about the weirdest scene in Jerry Maguire and the origins of “Here Comes the Bride”. We also shit on the college application process because it is truly an awful system.

We go back to Blair’s hometown of Albuquerque, Dan’s home state of Connecticut, and decide what kitchen appliance we think we are. But mostly, we talk about food so make sure you have a snack nearby. We also want to mention a content warning for disordered eating. We’ve included some resources if you are struggling below.https://anad.org/https://www.medainc.org/https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

This one goes deep into the teenage psyche, which is an unfortunate romp perhaps. Prom disappointments, coming to terms with the fact that there is no such thing as happily ever after, and how our rebellions were not really that rebellious. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, which was each of going to arts camp. Ya, we were those kids.

We said we definitely would talk about something else. Not this time, folks! This is the episode where all we talk about is Avatar: The Last Airbender. That’s it. It’s perfect television. There is no debate. Listen and learn.

It’s episode two, electric boogaloo! This week, Blair and Dan discuss why Star Wars is considered a “space opera,” the feelings Heath Ledger brings out in us, and Dan’s unfortunate childhood dog experience.

Welcome to the first episode of Useless Opinions! In this episode, we talk about watching Wet Hot American Summer for the first time, discover the beginnings of the ASMR corner, and how to give the worst and/or best birthday presents to your loved ones.