Fully Functional Parents

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We’re a happily married couple, we have lots of stories to tell you about body parts, grammar, things we see on our daily travels and lastly, our three kids, our two cats, and our dog! “Relatable and so much fun! Can’t stop listening!” - All the bots across the universe “Hilariously irreverent!” - Emilie from across the street “Brilliant!” - Parkour Phenom Aaron “I’m always inspired to tell my best dirty jokes after listening to FFP!” - Billiam "Insightful! Brightens my morning commute!" - Julie Ann Moore (Say it fast!)

Fully Functional Parents


    • Oct 3, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekdays NEW EPISODES
    • 12m AVG DURATION
    • 763 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Fully Functional Parents

    Mushy Face!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2025 12:38


    Music and our pasts!

    David's Idiosyncrasies!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2025 24:04


    And my nickname!!

    7 Minutes in Heaven! Ever Been In A Closet?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2025 14:55


    And no sleepovers for me!

    Hey Bryan Adams, WE Know What This Song is About!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2025 17:08


    The Archives: Summer of ‘69!!

    Strangers!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2025 18:35


    Bills Game, Elevators, Cookies!!

    She's a Monster: Episode 689: Kid Birthday Parties!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2025 18:45


    And self help books and Sting!

    Spoiler Alert: A Tomothy Hanks Film!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2025 12:12


    What David does on his Lunch break!

    The Birth of Julieann Moore!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2025 9:56


    A rerun with bonus big balls!!

    Business Cards: What Are They Good For?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2025 13:17


    The dumbest invention ever?!

    BO! you know it!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2025 10:29


    A special Saturday episode!

    Happy Birthday To ME! ME! ME!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2025 15:36


    Donald the Doodler!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2025 23:25


    And stop being Rothchildish!!

    Killing Bunnies for Dinner! And Fighting Over Shotgun!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2025 12:32


    A rerun!! Doi!! Cause I've known Emilie for years now!!

    The Thing That Bonds Us: Total Recall!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2025 18:19


    And uma uma uma!!

    Stupid and Trivial!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2025 17:10


    Some dumb tales of life! Don't get excited!

    Getting Old! And Anesthetized!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2025 13:51


    How many surgeries we will have for the rest of our lives?!

    Starting High School and BluePlate Special!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2025 16:20


    Our boy is a freshman?! And we're going to open a shop!!

    An Atlas to Bill's Brain!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2025 13:23


    And the Buffalo Bills stole it!!

    Interesting Thoughts vs Good Ideas!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2025 21:08


    And why are you drinking that soda?? You fool!

    What's In Your Bag?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2025 19:33


    The best new gameshow?!

    Stop Being So Nice, You Monster!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 14, 2025 24:18


    And we divulge our favorite music!!

    The Commodore's Ball!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2025 12:47


    Bizarre! Gross! A hoot!!

    Don't Worry, Ma'am, I'll Put Away Your Cart!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2025 11:30


    And hiding your messing around on your phone at work!

    I Am NOT Part of the Bills Mafia!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2025 11:52


    But I do appreciate community service!!

    We Write an After School Special: Survival of the Fittest!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2025 19:35


    And spoiler alert: happy Gilmore 2!!!

    No, Charmin! We Won't Enjoy the Go!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2025 11:44


    Toilet paper!!

    A Vain Off!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2025 12:28


    Who is more vain than me? Not David!

    Ellen DeGeneres and Teenagers: You're Canceled!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2025 18:12


    Lots of rage! Be prepared !

    That Last Pickle!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2025 13:54


    The resolution of the cliffhanger!

    Oh! That's What “Indoor Yard Work” Means! And a cliffhanger!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2025 10:14


    The reveal: tomorrow!!

    The Meditations Of Marcus Arnold Aurelius Schwarzenegger!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2025 16:10


    Stop whining! Get to work! Do it well!!

    Did We Just Win Powerball?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2025 8:54


    Maybe! Maybe we did!!

    I See What You're Watching!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2025 9:32


    And other stuff seen on a plane!! Sexy Zodiac! And Blow your nose!!

    Penis Bibs! and Taking a Limo to Red Lobster!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2025 11:11


    I'm on a business trip so I'm posting old episodes! Deal with it! And this is a good one!

    Torturing Teachers and Roommates!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2025 15:43


    Archives! And Bubble Gum Bubble Gum in a dish- again!!

    Lick the Drip!! and Weighted Vests??

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2025 13:00


    Scooping the cream and bone health!

    A Frank Lloyd Wright Masterpiece! and On the Air with Bill Burns!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2025 18:56


    Parenting: The Musical (Dinner Theater!)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2025 12:04


    To be performed at Bobby Js! see you there!!

    Being Forced to Eat Coleslaw at a Buffalo Bills Tailgate?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2025 9:36


    The archives! David can't shake his fear!

    Generated Perfect Thoughts: Putting the GPT in ChatGPT

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2025 13:33


    Bunch of really boring topics – I push back on bad work jokes, we fret about our kid and his engagement with ChatGPT.

    WAG! Of Coach Dave!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2025 13:55


    And OJ approved?! What are you thinking?!

    I AM Ina Garten! ??

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2025 19:08


    And David's reformed!

    You Think You're Having A Bad Day at Work?!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2025 16:23


    Go to Whole Foods and talk to Sarah in the deli! And take a compliment!

    The Shame of Watching Sally Jessy Raphael!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2025 15:52


    Rerun week continues! And we feel guilty for laughing along to women who don't know their babies fathers! And David's Dads Golf Balls!

    Greasy Skin, Thinning Hair! Let's Try Steroids! Together!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2025 10:53


    An archived episode! We recorded this while we were in London in 2023! 2023!!

    Marco Polo Is Sick of the Name Calling!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2025 12:08


    DWI: David Lies to Me! By Omission!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2025 12:07


    Crocs again! And nails in fingers!

    I'm Going to Crush Davey Like Famke Would! Between My Thighs!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2025 13:14


    Top 100 lists of all time: who cares?!

    EMDR: It Worked For Miley, It Can Work For You!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2025 15:47


    And we had another party with our friends!!!

    David's Mouth Guitar!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2025 10:01


    My favorite episode! And ask me for the video of David performing- I have one!!

    Lyric Lowdown: Blinded by the Light!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2025 13:08


    Public bathrooms and long haul truckers!

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