Practically Joyful Mom

When we are tempted to "I told you so" our kids, it can be so powerful to instead take a step a back and give them our sympathy. I recently had an exchange with one of my kids where giving them my sympathy had such a deeper impact than any lecture or "I told you so" could have. 

We've all had those days where it seems like everything is going downhill, including our own attitudes. But whether it's 7:00am and it's already been a long day or it's almost bedtime and you're counting the minutes, it's not too late to turn the day around. Today's episode is full of perspective shifts and practical ideas for redeeming a difficult day. 

We all face rainstorms in life, both physical rain and just challenging seasons. How we approach these rainstorms matters deeply. Are you embracing your rainstorms and choosing to see them as times to adventure and splash in the puddles, to grow in character and endurance? Or are you just miserably waiting for the rain to stop? 

One of the common struggles of parenthood is those phases when our kids seem to really be struggling with listening to what we ask them to do. There are often many factors at play in these situations but today we will be discussing one powerful tool for helping out kids actually WANT to listen to us. 

Fun is like currency with our kids. When we invest in fun times with them they feel closer to us and are more likely to listen to what we have to say about important issues. It can seem overwhelming to plan fun with our kids if we feel pressured to make it elaborate or Pinterest perfect. But having fun with our little can be much simpler and easier than we think and at the same time incredibly rewarding. 

How often do we tell our kids to “have fun” when we drop them off to school or anywhere else? While fun is a wonderful part of life, it's not necessarily our highest goal in life. In today's episode we'll discuss some simple tweaks in how we talk to our kids to communicate our family's values and help them view their days through a different lens.

Have you ever felt like you just don't know what to do? Maybe it's about a big decision like a move or maybe it's in the middle of a challenging situation like the oh-so-fun moment when your child has a meltdown in the grocery store. Press play for a perspective shift and practical tips about these moments when we feel unsure of how to move forward. 

Olympic athletes don't just train once, but over and over to reach a high level of excellence. Expecting our kids to change after we talk to them one time about an issue isn't realistic either. Nor is it realistic to expect ourselves to grow by leaps and bounds in any area without consistent practice over time. Excellence takes time. Training takes time. But the good news is that we aren't alone in our efforts to grow and help our children to do the same.

What if someone wrote a biography of your life? How would the story of this time in your life read? Would it be full of grumpiness and complaining or would it be a story of how you brought light and joy even in the midst of a difficult season? 

It can be easy to let the month of Thanksgiving become all about doing and not about gratitude. Today we're talking about why it matters to create or strengthen a habit of gratitude and how we can do it. 

We live in a time when parenting advice is everywhere. There are many valuable tricks and tips out there and learning from other parents is a great way to build up our own parenting skills. But we all have those moments in parenting when we find ourselves thinking, “I don't know what to do!”. In those moments (and all the time) one of our most powerful parenting tools is to pray for wisdom.

In a world of social media and lots of comparison it can be so easy to feel as though we aren't doing a good enough job at anything or as though our work isn't important. Today we are talking about how determining what your own work is and sinking yourself into it can be much more satisfying and fulfilling than constantly comparing your life and work with others. 

We would all like our kids to know how to apologize and to do it when needed but it doesn't always seems so easy. Today's episode is all about why knowing how to apologize matters and how to help our kids learn. 

As the weather gets colder and cloudier, it can be easy to retreat from the outdoors into more time inside. It's normal to spend less time outside when it's not warm and sunny but there are still great benefits to getting outside most days - for us and our kids. Today's episode is all about the wonderful benefits of time outside and practical ideas to make it happen.

We all have a choice in the stories we tell ourselves about our days. We can choose to tell a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" sort of story or we can choose to tell ourselves a story of beauty and goodness. We can narrate to ourselves the same day in two radically different ways. And our choice in how we tell the story affects how we feel, how we act towards others and even the trajectory of our day. 

Bad habits are hard to break. Whether it's nail biting, being glued to your phone or yelling at your kids, it's incredibly difficult to just try to stop a bad habit. We will have much more success when we think about replacing the negative habit with something more beneficial and intentional. This applies not only to our own lives but to our kids as well. 

Car time can often feel like wasted time but we can choose to reclaim these moments to prepare our kids for wherever we're going. Conversations about appropriate behavior and about loving the people we will be around are a great way to make this time worthwhile instead of wasted. 

We all go through seasons in life, some are easy and some are challenging. Part of being a practically joyful mom is choosing to adapt to the season we are in rather than trying to live like it's summer when we are in the midst of a winter season. 

It can be  so easy to run through our days without really looking at our kids, really pausing and giving them our eyes and our attention, seeing them clearly and letting them know that they are important to us. Eye contact is a powerful tool to connect with our kids, strengthen our relationships and increase cooperation. 

What's in our hearts matters because it is what will come out in our words and actions. It can be easy to focus on our children's behavior because it's what we can see but what's in their hearts is where that behavior comes from. The same is true for us as moms, what's in our hearts is what comes out.

Moms are busy. Our days are often very full but there are also little pockets of time sandwiched between diaper changes and school drop offs, between messy meals and trips to the park. We often end up turning to time wasters during these little moments because we think we can't accomplish much in 5 or 10 minutes. But what if we chose to use those little time pockets to invest little by little in the things that matter most to us? 

The little things we do regularly have a much greater impact than the things we do once in a while. If we want to grow in an area, consistently making small investments can have huge effects. But it's not always easy to consistently do the things we want to do and it can be easy to get caught up in an all-or-nothing mentality rather than choosing imperfect, but consistent action. Listen in to today's episode for encouragement about building consistency in your life in the areas that matter most to you.

 I'm so happy to be back with you after taking July off to rest and recharge! We are all designed to have people walking beside us to encourage us, to help us grow and learn. Today we are talking about ways we can support each other and how to walk together even in the messes of life.

We all have a nemesis. A thing we spend more time dreading than doing. Maybe it's dishes or laundry or clipping your child's nails. But we don't have to stay stuck in a place of letting dread of these tasks drain our energy and drag us down. We can make some simple shifts in our perspectives and practices to choose joy even in the mundane tasks of everyday life.

We all have a nemesis. A thing we spend more time dreading than doing. Maybe it's dishes or laundry or clipping your child's nails. But we don't have to stay stuck in a place of letting dread of these tasks drain our energy and drag us down. We can make some simple shifts in our perspectives and practices to choose joy even in the mundane tasks of everyday life.

As moms we have the power to affect the mood of everyone in our home: “If Momma's not happy, nobody's happy.” But instead of focusing on our ability to sabotage the mood of our entire family, we can flip this negative saying on it's head and dare to say, “If Momma chooses joy, everyone's happier.” When we start and end our days with these two simple practices, we shift our focus away from the frustrating, negative and disappointing parts of our day and choose to focus on the good, the lovely and the wonderful parts of motherhood.  Starting our days by waking up grateful and ending our days by looking back on the happiest moments helps us to train our brains to focus on what was right in our day, instead of what was wrong. This doesn't mean that we ignore the hard, sad or difficult moments of our day, but that we choose not to focus on them and give them power over our whole outlook on our days and our motherhood. The stories we tell ourselves about our days and our lives matter and have powerful effects. The good news is that we can CHOOSE which stories we tell!

Self care is good. But we can sometimes get the wrong idea about what will really fill us up.  We can end up thinking that if we could just get a massage, just go get a pedicure, just eat chocolate,  or just watch a movie, it would fix what's wrong in our lives. Massages and chocolate are good. But these things won't necessarily nurture our souls.   We can do all sorts of skin-deep self care for our bodies, but end up neglecting soul care. Sometimes when we are soul deep weary what we need is to invest energy in an activity that will refresh and refocus our souls. Something that will not just numb our feelings, but that will bring us deeper peace.

Are you feeling weary? This year has been full of things that make us weary, worried and weighed down: a global pandemic, social isolation, political division, racial injustice, natural disasters. Add all of those things to the day to day burdens of motherhood - sleepless nights, never ending diapers, laundry and dishes, financial concerns, work stress, worries about our children and their futures, the list goes on and on. Is it any wonder that we feel weary? That life feels heavy? The good news is that we're not left alone to try to bear all of this weight on our own shoulders. 

Being interrupted is hard. And as moms, we're interrupted all the time. I talked last week about how Jesus was willing to be interrupted and showed compassion even to those who interrupted him. This week, I'm talking about what this practically looks like in our daily lives and how it can bring wonderful and unexpected blessings.

It can be so easy in the tension of everyday life to view our kids as just a list of tasks that we need to complete to take care of them - changing diapers, packing lunches, buying food, scheduling doctor's appointments. When we take time to remember that our kids are little human souls we can connect more with them and see the work we do to care for them as deeply meaningful ministry rather than a never ending to-do list. 

There are a lot of things we find ourselves hoping for in motherhood. I hope the baby sleeps through the night. I hope my kids eat the dinner I'm cooking. I hope they don't fight with each other in the car today. And while it's not bad to hope for these things, we need a hope that is more secure than just hoping our current challenge is resolved. Because the thing is that there will always be new challenges in motherhood. So putting our hope in our changing circumstances can actually leave us feeling hopeless. Today's episode is all about remembering where our hope comes from and how we can remind ourselves of that hope, day by day and moment by moment.

Today, my 7 year-old son is joining me on the podcast to talk about summer and about the things that bring joy to our family. It can be so easy to get caught up in trying to give our kids the most exciting experiences and the best activities that we forget what they most want is our attention and our love. Listening to this perspective from a seven year-old helped remind me that we can choose joy for our families in very simple ways.

Summer! It can be so easy to try to cram so many activities into the summer months and have the "perfect" summer. This usually leads to lots of disappointment and frustration when things go differently. On the other hand, we can find ourselves in September wondering where summer went and why we didn't do any of the things we wanted to. Today we're talking through some practical ideas and perspective shifts for a more practically joyful summer. 

It can be so easy to feel unseen and unappreciated in motherhood and this past year has made many of us feel especially isolated. You matter and what you are doing matters. You are loved. 

We all have a finite amount of time energy and attention to invest in things around us. So often we are pulled towards giving our time and attention to distractions or things that will not matter in the long term. But we can choose instead to consistently invest in the things that really do matter. And when we do, our investments will matter and build the things we actually want to grow in our lives. 

We all have times where we get stuck in "serious mom mode". Where we aren't having much fun and we're not fun to be around. Today we're talking about why fun matters and some easy ways to incorporate fun into our lives. 

Last week we talked about the importance of taking time to rest and today we're talking about the importance of working hard for the things that matter. There are things in each of our lives that require hard work to build and invest in and are absolutely worth it. In a world of "easy buttons" and "life hacks" we can forget that many of the most rewarding and valuable things in life are worth working hard for. 

We all need rest but it can be so hard to let go of all of the things we feel like we need to be doing. This episode is full of encouragement to take time to rest and ideas for ways to make it happen. 

We all have those moments or days or weeks, when we just don’t feel like it.  We just don’t feel like praying, like cracking open our bibles.  We just don’t feel like reading another board book, like talking about Thomas the train characters for hours.  We just don’t feel like listening to our husbands talk about their stressful days when we’ve had a long day ourselves. But we don't have to let not feeling like it stop us from acting lovingly towards those we care about. Today's episode is all about perspective shifts and practical ideas for how to show love even when we don't FEEL like it. 

We all have those days. Where things go differently than expected. Where everything seems to go wrong. Today's episode is all about shifting our perspectives and our practices on those days where nothing seems to go as planned. 

We can feel a lot of pressure to make holidays memorable and exciting for our families. It is a wonderful thing to celebrate and enjoy Easter together but we can let go of the pressure for perfect crafts and activities. One of the ways we can make Easter deeply meaningful for our children is to deeply connect with the story of redemption and salvation and to let our children see how much joy we take in the fact that Jesus gave himself to rescue us. Our excitement and delight in the Easter story will affect our children's hearts much more than and activity or craft. 

As moms we can face a lot of pressure from society to follow the latest trends, to do what everyone around us is doing. But it’s ok to be different. Like snowflakes, we are each unique and distinct and have different paths in life. Let’s dive into why it’s ok to be different and how we can focus on our own journey.

As moms we can often feel alone even when surrounded by our children. Today, I encourage us all to remember that we are not alone, that God is with us wherever we go, even if that is just in our own homes. The reality of Jesus walking with us through our days helps us to remember that we are not alone and our everyday lives really do matter.

This week, we are going back to lessons from Moana. The theme of identity and knowing who you are is woven throughout the movie and is a topic that can really benefit our families. When you have a strong family culture and identity, your children are more likely to be excited about family activities and have a solid place to come back to when they inevitably get off track. 

In our modern world full of marketing, social media and comparison, it can be all too easy to live in a mindset of “I’ll be happy when . . .”. But this outlook on life leaves us feeling disappointed and discouraged and causes us to miss out on all the beauty around us in the moment. Listen today for some perspective shifts and practical ideas to find happiness right where you are.

We all have a nemesis. A thing we spend more time dreading than doing. Maybe it’s dishes or laundry or clipping your child’s nails. But we don’t have to stay stuck in a place of letting dread of these tasks drain our energy and drag us down. We can make some simple shifts in our perspectives and practices to choose joy even in the mundane tasks of everyday life.

Disappointment can feel like a crushing weight and it’s all too easy to let it rob us of our joy. But even in the midst of disappointment, we can CHOOSE to see the beauty and goodness around us. This leads us to realizing that we don’t have to let disappointment steal our joy.

Listen in to this last episode in our series about relationships over rules. Today, we're talking about our relationships with the "stuff" in our lives and how we can change our perspective and practices to find more joy in the way we relate to the physical blessings in our lives. 

In this episode we’re continuing our discussion about relationships over rules by looking at our relationships with our friends. The world throws a lot of motherhood rules at us and it can be easy to let these rules divide us instead of focusing on how we can love and encourage the other moms around us.

Some kids are rule followers. Some kids are boundary pushers. A focus on relationships can help both.  In this episode we’ll discuss the ways we can help our children to see the “why” behind the rules and how showing love should be the focus.

This week we’re continuing our "relationships over rules" series, specifically looking at our relationships with our husbands. Becoming parents drastically changes our relationships. Sleep deprivation. A whole new set of responsibilities, new stresses. Keeping alive another human who is completely and utterly dependent on the two of you. New roles to navigate. Now he’s not just your husband but also your child’s Daddy and that adds a whole new dimension of complexity. In the midst of parenthood, it can be all too easy to let our marriages get pushed to the back burner. Join me today for 6 relationship-based ways to bring some new life and joy to your marriage.