Vanessa Zuisei Goddard

December 8 was Bodhi Day, the celebration of Buddha's Enlightenment. In this talk, which brings a weekend sesshin to a close, Zuisei speaks of the Buddha's life of practice and realization, focusing specifically on the aspiration, courage and determination that supported his vow to awaken. Most importantly, she links his aspiration to our own, stressing the point that we have everything that the Buddha had, which means that we too can awaken; we too can reach “the Unbinding.” The Buddha may have had to walk the path on his own, but we have his inimitable example, which can always be a source of inspiration.

Where do you go to be seen and to be seen through? Facing reality, facing yourself, that is what's needed here and now. From the spacious and bare zazen practice of the Zen Sōtō priest Kosho Uchiyama and the new movement of Secular Buddhism to Yuval Noah Harari's 21st Lesson for the 21st Century, his book on pressing global issues like the consequences of rapid changes in pervasive technology, Zuisei takes up various paths that lead to the realization that to liberate ourselves and each other, we must understand our minds.

This talk, part of the study session series on Thich Nhat Hanh's Understanding Our Mind, deals with perception and experience. “What conditions do we need to be truly happy?” Thich Nhat Hanh asks. It's another way of asking, Do we understand how the seeds of our experiences shape the way we perceive our lives? This text on the Fifty Verses shows us that it's not what happens to us that determines whether we're happy or unhappy, but how we respond to it.

Without you, I cannot be me. Who am I? In this talk Zuisei reflects on how we see ourselves and one another verses the reality of what is, who is. How could you be one unchanging self? Why do we often hold each other and ourselves to a familiar idea of who we are, and what happens when individuals and communities do not?

I can't. I won't. This is the sound of fear in the lead. And a sign to look closer. In this talk Zuisei returns to the three steps or ways to enter our zazen—failing, falling, and feeling—and studies the fear that often holds us back from fully realizing them. How does practice enable us to stay with our fear—to be both fearful and fearless? Zuisei reminds us that when we realize that we're like the sky, vast and boundless, there's no thought or feeling we cannot face or hold. This talk includes a short guided meditation.

Acknowledging that practice does not always come easily, in this talk Zuisei skillfully guides us back to the art of shikantaza, “the gate of ease and joy,” as Dogen called it. But what is shikantaza? How do we practice it, when we have to let go of doing and striving? Zuisei describes three steps: failing, falling, and feeling—ways to enter our zazen and also our day-to-day lives.

Why prostrate yourself, when Buddhism doesn't include belief in God or a higher power? With insights from Eihei Dogen, Judy Lief, and Reggie Ray, Zuisei looks at the power of the sacred and of bowing, as well as the importance of prostration in the cultivation of devotion—an attitude of respect and reverence so needed in this world today.

“When we practice mindfulness we are not practicing for ourselves alone, but also for the countless generations to follow.” –Thich Nhat Hanh In this session, Zuisei and the sangha take up this teaching as they continue their study of Thich Nhat Hanh's Understanding Our Mind. The session opens with a “student entering ceremony,” recognizing sangha members Marguerite Battaglia, Adam Green, Brian Pontillo and Jess Angelson, as Zuisei's formal students.

When our path seems unclear and reality precarious, where do we turn? In this talk Zuisei and the sangha take this question to heart. Zuisei reminds us, as the famous Machado song says, that “the path is made by walking.” Whether it seems laid bare for miles ahead or the view appears obscured, we can ever only take one step at a time.

In this talk Zuisei dives into the center of the eighth realization—the awareness that the fire of birth and death is raging, causing endless suffering everywhere. Even in difficult moments there is a soft spaciousness, perfect and complete, where we are whole and things are as they are. How do we remember this in the very real and present stress of our day to day lives?

The Seventh Realization of Great Beings teaches us to live simply, follow the precepts, and treat all beings equally and with compassion. Through the poetry of Hafiz and the stories of the Zen teacher and Sixth Ancestor Huineng, Zuisei cuts to the heart of living simply so that we might apply this sense of simplicity and openness to our lives outside of the monastery, in the reality of our everyday lives. Sangha member Norm Christian also offers a short talk on sincerity of intent.

In this mondo Zuisei introduces the Sixth Realization of Great Beings through the sangha's reflections on their lived experiences of the past year. This realization turns to equanimity and generosity in the midst of poverty—poverty of mind and spirit that creates our sense of lack During the pandemic, have you experienced a feeling of listlessness, Zuisei asks. Or something else? What have you turned to for comfort, stability, relief?

What happens when you deeply listen? The commentary to the fifth of the Eight Realizations of Great Beings says that bodhisattvas listen deeply to others in order to ease their suffering and bring them joy. Delving into the practice of listening and the parallel tracks of growing up and waking up, Zuisei inspires us to listen deeply so that we can become fully human buddhas.

Bring back that lovin' feelin'Whoa that lovin feelin'When your enthusiasm for practice slows or seems to come to halt, does it “still count?” And anyways, how do you spark it up again? In this threaded talk, Zuisei introduces the fourth realization, indolence, aka find your enthusiasm. The sangha takes this up, each sharing their personal experiences of “failure” and “laziness,” and the awesome realization that in practice, nothing is left out.

Are you aware of a mind that searches outside of itself and never feels fulfilled? In this talk Zuisei and Brian each explore different aspects of this awareness—the Third Realization. Drawing on different sources from the experience of addiction to the Vimalakurti Sutra, this talk asks us to reflect on how this searching mind show up in our own lives and how might we might work with it.

In this talk, drawing from Dogen's teachings, the Lojong slogans and more, Zuisei dives into the very human experience of desire. How do the teachings on desire relate to satisfaction and sensuousness? How can we hold that desire is the root of suffering and still realize its affirming and joyful side?

“I want to be like water. I want to slip through fingers but hold up a ship.” In this talk Zuisei returns to the reality of impermanence, from the Buddha's last talk just before his death—the Nirvana Sutra, to the wish above taken from an interview with Michelle Williams. How might impermanence inspire you?

How do you experience impermanence? In this first threaded talk, Zuisei introduces the realization of impermanence and asks the group gathered to take it from there. As each person speaks up and follows the thread, we explore how we can and do work with this awareness.

In this talk Zuisei delves into what it is to experience the vast spaciousness of our ordinary, day-to-day lives. From engaging with our ancestors—whether mythical, spiritual, or flesh and blood—to reflecting on our present and ever-changing paths, how many ways are there to acknowledge the infinite stream of space and time in which we flow? How might this nurture our practice, our kindness, our clarity?

Do you ever pause in the midst of your life and ask yourself, what is my role in all of this? What is my agency? In this talk Zuisei addresses the need to train the body, mind, spirit and heart, the need to learn endurance, flexibility, and kindness, the need to be here now. In the spiritual path, all action is rooted in the clarity and wisdom that arise out of stillness and silence. And out of this wisdom comes hope—or possibility.

The world is on fire. What do each of us have to offer to meet that fire? Reflecting on the teachings of Dogen's Mountains and River Sutra, Zuisei looks into what it means to take care and the urgent need for that care. From practicing zazen to the learning about and dismantling the worlds we've co-created around racism and climate change, how do we show up for ourselves and one another?

Do you find yourself silently commenting on and critiquing this life as it happens? There's a Buddhist term for the seemingly endless chatter in our minds—papañca or proliferation. Zuisei brings to life the teachings on papañca contained in the sutra “The Ball of Honey,” exploring how this proliferation comes to be and how we might relate to it skillfully.

We don't always know we're perfect, we don't always feel complete, yet fundamentally, both are true of who we are. In this talk Zuisei highlights Zen as a path of transformation. She shares her personal journey with sadness and leads an intimate exploration of how practice can change the ways in which we relate to ourselves and to each other. In this way, darkness becomes light, and sadness, joy.

Using a passage from the 14th century mystical text, The Cloud of Unknowing, Zuisei speaks of the bridge between the relative and absolute worlds. She refers to the center of the present moment as the place where there is nothing and we are nowhere—the place where we “just sit"” “just walk,” “just eat,” as we refer to it in Zen. It's the place where doing and doer disappear and we are free to respond to the world spontaneously and “magnificently.”

Anchoring her talk on the teachings on loving-kindness contained in the Karaniya Metta Sutta, Zuisei speaks on the importance of applying these teachings to oneself, as well as others. For the longer we practice, the more we understand that the lines we draw: inside and outside, self and other, exist nowhere else but in our minds. “The only thing that stops you is your mind,” Zuisei says, quoting the late Burmese teacher Dipa Ma. But, as Zuisei points out, mind too is vast and without boundaries, which means that the very thing that stops us is unstoppable in itself.

Zuisei Goddard

Zuisei Goddard draws on the life of the Buddha to illustrate the six stages of pilgrimage—the call, homeleaving, the journey, contemplation, encounter, return. Pilgrimage is both an inner and outer journey; it is travel into the unknown for the purpose of knowing ourselves intimately and drawing closer to our understanding of the divine. It is realizing that at the end of a long sojourn, we return to the home that we never actually left.

In this interview Zuisei shares a glimpse into her history around the monastic life and introduces her book Still Running—the Art of Meditation in Motion. Pilgrimage is both an inner and outer journey; it is travel into the unknown for the purpose of knowing ourselves intimately and drawing closer to our understanding of the divine. It is realizing that at the end of a long sojourn, we return to the home that we never actually left.

What does it mean to open into, trust reality, instead of trying to force things into being? How do we reconcile accepting the things we cannot change with changing the things we cannot accept? Zuisei explores the possibility of seeing things as they are, learning to work with this truth instead of against it, and basing this work on the realization of our interbeing.

The term mindfulness is ubiquitous these days. But its origins can be traced back to the teachings of the Buddha, whose main practice was anapanasati, “mindfulness of breathing.” In this interview, Zuisei Godddard discusses some of the misunderstandings of mindfulness, as well as its true potential to help us cultivate awareness, wisdom, and compassion.

“What I saw or heard or felt came not but from myself—and there I found myself more truly and more strange.” —Wallace Stevens Zuisei Sensei speaks from the heart about her own spiritual journey and her ongoing commitment to practice as she steps further into lay life.

Zuisei Goddard draws on the life of the Buddha to illustrate the six stages of pilgrimage—the call, homeleaving, the journey, contemplation, encounter, return. Pilgrimage is both an inner and outer journey; it is travel into the unknown for the purpose of knowing ourselves intimately and drawing closer to our understanding of the divine. It is realizing that at the end of a long sojourn, we return to the home that we never actually left.

We have to be willing to take a risk in order to see clearly. In this talk on case 31 of the Gateless Gate: Zhaozhou Saw Through the Old Woman, Zuisei speaks of the spiritual life as a perilous journey. “Every time we ask,” she says, “we expose ourselves. But when we don't ask, we also expose ourselves. So we might as well take a risk—be wild and daring—and see what comes of it.”

For this Fusatsu (Renewal of Vows ceremony) Zuisei speaks of sacred space as the ground in which atonement and vow become possible. It is, to borrow Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel's words, “A sanctuary in time”—a place and period which is both distinct from and equal to the everyday. A space full of possibility. Correction: The opening quote, attributed to Charles Chu, is actually by Margaret Gibson.

We are never practicing alone—not in the darkest pit of hell, not in the brightest state of bliss. When we know this, the natural response is to bring forth our buddha ancestors and look at them in veneration. We formally bow and meet them, which is none other than meeting ourselves. Zuisei and Hojin Sensei speak about the importance of honoring and connecting to our ancestors in spiritual practice. This talk was given at Zen Mountain Monastery's Annual Women's Sesshin, Wild Grasses.

Zuisei speaks of that which is beyond ordinary knowing and must be known intimately. As she puts it, devoting our full attention to the breath or a koan can be an act of love. Zazen itself is that act of love, an act rewarded in ways we cannot predict.

In part two of this talk on Gateless Gate 41, Zuisei speaks on the five overarching disturbing emotions: attachment, pride, envy, anger, and ignorance, and the collective journey we are on to wake up to these patterns and remember our innate goodness. As the Buddha said, all of his teachings were for the purpose of seeing the truth of suffering and its cessation. The way to put at end to suffering is to realize ourselves, but we cannot do it while caught in the storm of strong emotions. So we need to have a way to recognize and deal with them, and this is what so much of practice is about.

“We look out at the world and we see nothing but conflict, nothing but clamor and strife and forces that seem to feed on our discontent. And we think, how can I be at ease in the midst of all this?” In this talk on Gateless Gate 41, Zuisei speaks on waking up to the state of our minds and the ongoing journey of cultivating ease and peace in the midst of all that life brings us.

In the third talk in a series on the Three Essentials of Zen, Zuisei speaks on the third essential: Great Determination. Zuisei explains that Determination is not an obsessive nor heroic quality, but rather, it is our humble, steadfast commitment to waking up— through the good, bad, and mundane. “[Great Determination] knows what it is capable of. It knows— without even knowing how we know— that this path is not only walkable, but that we will do it, that we are doing it.”

Great Doubt is one of the Three Essentials of Zen practice — wherein doubt is not flaky nor pessimistic, but rather a commitment to an ongoing investigation of: what's really going on here? In this dharma talk, Zuisei explores doubt and how the cultivation of this quality leads us to a deeper understanding of the way things are.

In this first talk in a series on the Three Essentials of Zen, Zuisei speaks on the first essential: great faith, discussing the four stages of faith and the role that they play as we commit to the dharma. To have faith is to trust, and to let that trust guide us along our path as it unfolds. It is believing in our goodness, in the teachings, and in our communities—trusting that they will support us in the process of awakening.

When we practice working with our minds, we quickly discover the immense impacts our thoughts have on our lived reality. And when we look at this using the framework of the Buddhist perspective, we come to understand the relationship between mind and reality even more profoundly: that reality itself is really just the minds' projection. In this talk, Zuisei reflects on Gateless Gate, 26: Two Monks Roll Up the Blinds. Zuisei draws on the power that the classical Buddhist teachings have to help us understand the depths and paradoxes of our experiences.

In this talk, Zuisei shares teachings on contemplating and feeling into the body's experience of aliveness as practices of awareness and dharma. Through understanding our experiences through the five aggregates, (form, sensation, conception, discrimination, and awareness) we practice opening ourselves to the fundamental interconnectedness of this body, to all.

“If you meet a person of the Way on the way, greet them with neither words nor with silence. Now tell me, how will you greet them?” In this talk, Zuisei speaks on a koan that helps us to reflect on how we regard and interact with others on the path. She asks: If we do not greet one another with words nor with silence, what is the ground that we meet each other on?

Through the practice of zazen, we come to see the unruliness of our minds more intimately. In this talk, Zuisei speaks on the arising of “no”— the “not this” aspect of our practice that allows for discernment and the continual practice of turning towards a more ultimate truth. And after all the “nos”, Zuisei says, there comes a “yes”— an opening to infinite possibility and freedom. “All of these ‘nos' are so we can get to ‘yes.' ‘Yes' on which not just the future, but this world and every world depends. This is what we're doing in seshin, nodding our yes's, so we can get to that final, that incontrovertible yes.”

Zuisei speaks on the Buddha's Eight Conditions for Wisdom: studying, asking, withdrawal, ethical conduct, learning and reflecting on the teachings, energy, right speech, and understanding the rise and fall of the five aggregates. These eight conditions give us the ability to see things more clearly and allow us to cultivate the space to hold the knowing of our inherent goodness. Through cultivating wisdom, we are able to accept where we are with more grace and love.