Faking Lit

I'm sorry this is late, things have been crazy Please continue to stay safe and well.

Happy 420. Stay indoors.

IT'S A TOTAL LOCKDOWN We try to make the best of a bad situation and continue to broadcast to whoever's left outside in the Wasteland. With Special Guest Experts Eva Steenberg, Zaran Hex and Enya.

Don't go outside. Stay at home. Wash your hands and listen as we discuss Albert Camus' existentialist tale of disease "The Plague" and play "Nazi or Not-zi". Featuring Special Guest Expert Gin Gee, a clone.

Well, well, well, look who decided to post a new episode... This week the Idiots discuss Virginia Woolf's classic tale of gender bending "Orlando" - catch-up with London's Premier Beefeater Lenny London - catch-up with reclusive fifth Beatle Ebenezer Skrewge - quiz them on the failures of their respective marriages.

We return for the first episode of the new decade and also make our first attempt to discuss poetry with TS Eliot's beloved book of feline related doggerel "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" - re-litigate an old family psychodrama - pitch a musical about crisp packets - make cat goop. Featuring Special Guest Experts take-no-prisoners comedian Chris P Bitz, Chin's brother Cheek Coffee and David Simon (the guy who wrote The Wire).

Oh, gather your ears and come sit a spell, And hark to the tale that I have to tell! A mystery! A murder! A villainous deed! And four possible culprits on your podcast feed! They'll cover various topics (some of them scary) Including some of the films of Jim Carrey! And a bit of the book (we all tried our best) It's a Faking Lit Christmas, so it's a bit of a mess. Featuring Special Guest Experts Terry Sauce and Tim Trout-PI, Private Detective.

In which the Idiots get stuck into Herman Melville's symbolic magnum opus "Moby Dick" - learn the in-and-outs of navel law - discuss whether people in the past knew what a whale even was - talk about sperm.

Episode 106 - Halloweeeeen by

WE ARE BACK After a short break the Idiots return to discuss the sentimental, existential (sentistential) story of canine reincarnation, "A Dog's Purpose" - talk about the value of our four legged friends and the joy they bring into our lives - delve into the history of beloved nudity aggregation website "Mr Skin" - celebrate a birthday - introduce a new section of the show: "What Gets You Off?" Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger, the Ambassador (an ambassador) and Bobby Crumbles (some... person?)

In which the Idiots celebrate of absent co-host Haran X by discussing his choice of book, Patrick Hamilton's tale of obsession, manipulation and mental illness "Hangover Square" - take a journey through Rock and Venereal Disease - uncover the secrets of Bill Gates's house - welcome Dan back to the land of the living. Featuring Special Guest Experts Rock-Dad and Rock-Son. (Apologies for the sound quality in places, where for some reason we experienced some mic problems.)

In which the Idiots discuss Kazuo Ishiguro's Booker Prize winning novel of repression and unrequited love "The Remains of the Day" - discuss the Butler's place in the cultural consciousness - find out about the Butler World Championship - debate which Butlers fuck - call NASA. Featuring Special Guest Experts Billy Butler, Chin's Court Appointed Butler and returning divorced Yogi, Clive Rudolph.

In which the Idiots take apart William S Burroughs's obscene, influential magnum opus "Naked Lunch" - discover that diamonds and crystals are actually the same - Haran opens up to us emotionally - we briefly retool to become a gameshow. Featuring Special Guest Experts Terry Sauce, edgelord and DeviantArtist and the South African Diamond Man.

In which we discuss Ayn Rand's notorious objectivist magnum opus "Atlas Shrugged" - learn about exciting developments in the world of AI - a pop star performs an exclusive new track for us live in the studio - have not one, but two interventions. Featuring Special Guest Experts Limes (the Artist Formerly Known as Regyna McCracken) and Technomologist Eddie Stank.

PART 2 CHAOS REIGNS

PART 1 ONE BIG HOT MESS

We discuss all manner of bodily fluids and bizarre family rituals as we delve into Iain Banks's classic warped coming-of-age novel "The Wasp Factory" - we find out that the super-rich are really just like us when all is said and done - learn what the Chinese ET would sound like. With Special Guest Experts Horni and Chayst Mostenice, heirs to the Moistenice Plunger Fortune.

In this special episode, we put two of the most showbiz insider people I know in a room together to craft what the ending of Game of Thrones should have been and along the way share stories of what it was actually like working behind the scenes of the show and to be a confidant of George RR Martin himself. With Special Guest Experts Adrian Tauss and Trey Birkenstock, accent coach to the star.

Continuing the never-ending, eternal Dystopia series, the Idiots delve into Kurt Vonnegut's pitch black apocalypse comedy "Cat's Cradle" - Alice returns and relates her harrowing tale of survival after being trapped for months in her local decommissioned library - Our favourite Beefeater Sir Lenny London OBE returns and tells us of the people we will meet in Heaven, and the chain restaurants that exist in Heaven and in Hell - we delve into the history of various Ians.

The Idiots discuss Stephen King's epic tale of Good and Evil and the fight for humanity's very soul at the end of the world, "The Stand"! - Fitz returns to the show with more tales of the future and attempts to start up a new business, possibly involving dogs - we get a terrifying glimpse of the world to come if we don't change our ways - we get some advice to reduce our carbon footprint to zero. Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger and Eva Steenberg, a super space child with a message of doom from the future.

HAPPY EASTER 420 It's been a long weekend so all I'll say about this one is that we have guests that come in the form of the purest rastafarian Gideon Ponyboy and C.S Lewis drops in to critique his own work and share deeply personal stories about his sex life with a familiar secret agent.

The Dystopia season continues with our discussion of David Mitchell's genre colliding work of literary ventriloquism "Cloud Atlas" and we reveal the secrets of Chin's hot bod, Josh's past life, reveal that Freddie Mercury was an ant and create a haunting work of art. #AllMenAreCool Featuring Special Guest Experts returning edgelord DeviantArtist Terry Sauce and super hacker supreme B.L.U.E.S.T.E.E.L.T.H.U.N.D.E.R.M.A.C.A.B.R.E.

Sorry this one is so late. We continue our Unofficial Dystopia Season with a chat about about Philip K Dick's nightmare alternate universe in which the Nazis won the Second World War, taking in diverse topics such as the "Bildenberg" Group, how to adopt a cunning pseudonym and why Nazis are bad. With Special Guest Experts Adam Riley, Jonny Gillam and The Captain. You can buy "Tomorrow's World" by Guy Portman here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07JMKVWD1/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

The Idiots talk about PD James's vision of a childless future, "The Children of Men" and also discuss related matters such as sperm counts, Fortnite and various substances that are stored in the balls. Featuring Special Guest Experts Emily McQuade and Fortnite champion T3st1cul4r C4nc3r.

The Idiots grapple with Aldous Huxley's vision of a world where humanity has been pacified and controlled by sex and drugs and we ask whether it is more relevant now than it has ever been. Along the way we discuss artificial insemination, who in the room is an Alpha and who is a Gamma and play a couple of games of "3,2,1 Break!" Featuring Special Guest Experts... you know what, it's late and this is my third attempt to upload this and type out a description because Soundcloud was having a meltdown, and I can't even spell one of the names, so I'll leave it with you.

MWAH I KISS YOU Remember that guy with that website? This week the Idiots get all sentimental and romantic with George Orwell's terrifying vision of an inescapable, totalitarian future, "Nineteen Eighty-Four", arguably the most romantic of all the Dystopian works we are covering in our unofficial Dystopia series, and not something that I've forced into shape in response to the caprices of the marketplace - we chart the enduring legacy of Nineteen Eighty-Four and its influence of middle-of-the-road television programming - find out how Eric Arthur Blair became George Orwell - examine how height is intrinsically linked to power structures - confront our own fears as we each describe our own personal Room 101. Featuring Special Guest Expert Policeman Montague, a Camden Borough Police Officer.

In which the Idiots discuss H.G. Wells genre defining fourth dimensional adventure "The Time Traveller" - Fitz drops by to lay out his latest business venture and tell us incredible tales of the Future (both the place in time and the trap rapper) - Chin tries out the latest food craze Huel and reports back on his findings - we hear strange and bizarre Future Music (both the place in time and the trap rapper). Featuring Special Guest Experts Fitzgerald Honger and Engelbert Humbledick, COO of Huel. This episode was sponsored by Huel. It's Fuel for Humans.

In which the Idiots discuss Anthony Burgess's real horroshow novel of ultraviolence and the old in-and-out - become gradually more and more lost in a world of shared hallucinations and abrupt, unexpected advertorial fugues - learn how engage and disengage Cuck Mode - uncover a real life case of disturbing psychological conditioning. Featuring Special Guest Experts Soyman Mayo and Mark Cuckmode, radio personalities, film critics and aspiring pop stars.

In which the Idiots crash into 2019 with Cormac McCarthy's bleak, brutal and beautiful post-apocalyptic masterpiece - dig deep into the sordid and terrifying world of Army Seals and their trainers - uncover the dangerous world of Malaysian weddings - learn to appreciate the finer points of Daddy Culture. Featuring Special Guest Experts Jonny Gillam and Thaddeus Bullits, US Army Seal Trainer Trainer.

It's a Christmas miracle.

In which the slow Bataan Death March that has been our Harry Potter season comes to a grateful end with "Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows" - Chin expounds upon the music of Freddie Mercury - we try to out Jordan Bellfort each other and sell each other various objects - pitch the ultimate "get rich slow" scheme. Featuring Special Guest Experts Michaell Hill, Sam Dodson and Richard Sounds, CEO of Richer Sounds, a reference that everyone will get and appreciate.

In which the Idiots continue the descent into the world of Harry Potter and discuss the darkest entry in the series "Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince" - Dan puts on his big boy pants to host the episode and deploys his tried and tested methodology of listing things and asking what the best thing is - debate the question of Dumbledore's sexuality and the use of subtext - discover what constitutes a "classic scenario". Featuring Special Guest Experts Michael Hill and Stephen King's brother, Bergah.

In which the Idiots continue their journey through the Potterverse with the fifth book in the series "Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix" - we learn of a scandal at Hogwarts that was cut out of the books - learn what Joaquin Phoenix's favourite caramels are - discover the massive secret conspiracy embedded at the heart of the novel - have a little father-son role-playing. With Special Guest Experts Billiam Chilitree, heir to the throne of Denmark and Head Town Planner, and Quillius Crimbletree, Magic teacher at Hogwarts.

This week Chin's brother, Cheek Coffee, takes over Faking Lit as chin is mysteriously absent. He's joined by a litenay of characters, including Lenny London, Steve Koenig, Donnie Bagels, Daniel Offen, Michael Owen and Josh Bellman. They talk about The Godfather by Mario Puzo

BOO In which the Idiots look to the authoritative M.R. James to inspire them to write the spookiest, scariest, creepiest ghost story of all time for Halloween - Chin reveals he doesn't know how buses work - we try to spread awareness of Simlish. Featuring Special Guest Experts Ian Lane and Mortimer Goth, noted Sim about town.

In which the Idiots continue to tumble down the Harryhole with the fourth book in the series, "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire" - we recast the Harry Potter stories with Michael Caine in every role - examine what makes the Death Eater's so evil - work out what snakes symbolise in the series - try to talk about a female character for a minute without mentioning any men. Featuring Special Guest Experts Martin Willis and Jacob, a male feminist man person guy.

In the third part of our Harry Potter series, the Idiots dig into "Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban" - discover the connections between carrier bag costs, PC Gone Mad and MacDonalds - an artist shows us their watercolours - Chin gets into trouble with HR. Featuring Special Guest Expert Terry Sauce, DeviantArt Artist.

In which the Idiots continue their Potterquest with the second book in the series: "Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets" - a holy celestial being makes their podcast debut - stay away from snakes - get anagrammatical. Featuring Special Guest Expert, God.

In which the Idiots kick off their series run-through of the Harry Potter books with "Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone" - learn the true story behind the inspiration of everyone's favourite boy wizard - discover the difference between a hairdresser and a barber - bask in the magic of Blackpool. Featuring Special Guest Experts William Stone, Orson Welles and Mansoir Fillapuso, a man with a haircut.

In which the Idiots discuss Ray Bradbury's cautionary sci-fi tale of censorship and conformity - Beefeater Lenny London returns to reveal hitherto unrevealed magical powers and discuss his recent promotion - Josh expounds on the profound influence that Jordan Peterson has had on his life - Haran has another meltdown - Chin advocates for the primacy of literature over all other mediums, especially podcasts like this one. Featuring Special Guest Expert Lenny London, Premier Beefeater.

In which the Idiots discuss Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons's seminal comic book masterpiece "Watchmen" - argue for the legitimacy of the medium - demand pictures of Spider-Man - examine the problems of adaptation while dry heaving - the squid stays in the picture. Featuring Special Guest Experts Joseph Murphy and the poet Robert Burns.

In which the Idiots discuss John Kennedy Toole's Pulitzer Prize winning picaresque novel "A Confederacy of Dunces" - discuss how today's entrepreneurs conduct their business - how grief can manifest itself through flatulence - dunk on Dan's nuts. Featuring Special Guest Expert Bell Joshman, a campanologist.

In this very special episode the Idiots sit down to gab with Ebeneezer, the secret 5th Beatle, discuss his hitherto undocumented place in the legendary story of the Beatles and ask him to weigh in on books which the music of the Beatles helped to inspire.

In which the Idiots discuss Alexandre Dumas' classic swashbuckling Bro-Down "The Three Musketeers" - Fitz gives us an update on his wallpaper business and branches out into sales - Ben plugs his art - we lay out the tangled web connecting the Mouseketeers with Brexit ad Trump. Featuring Special Guest Experts Ben Lund-Conlon & Fitzgerald Honger.

In which the Idiots discuss J.D. Salinger's quintessential moody teenager novel, "The Catcher in the Rye" - Dan opens up about his musical tastes and his past as a sk8tr boi - we learn that Chin is a scummy Globalist shill - our guest reveals the perils of believing the Mainstream Media. Featuring Special Guest Expert Gareth something or other.

In which the Idiots discuss Ian McEwan's meta-fictional tale of loss, guilt and love, "Atonement" - learn the secret military origins of the Chicken McNugget - unveil Steve Koenig's latest project for Netflix - swelter in this unending heat-wave. Featuring Special Guest Experts Steve Koenig and Crispin Pacquet, a naval spitfire pilot.

In which the Idiots get down and dirty with "The Kama Sutra" for a very special Episode 69 - we discuss our favourite positions from the Kama Sutra - gain insight into the plight of the adult baby community - Dan is confronted with his past. Featuring Special Guest Experts returning couples therapist BJ McHammer and her baby husband Henry McHammer.

In which the Idiots discuss beloved children's classic "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle - Chin has a mini family reunion as he tries to work out which of his brothers is in possession of their cherished copy of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". Featuring Special Guest Experts, Chin's brothers: Cheek Coffee, Forehead Hot Chocolate and Nose Bovril.

In which the Idiots discuss William Golding's tale of boys, pigs and the laughably fragile veneer of civilization - discuss whether this book would be sexier if it had involved an island of girls as opposed to boys - expose the music world for the hollow sham it truly is - finally establish who has true Big Dick Energy in the room. Featuring Special Guest Experts Pop Artist Regyna McCracken and Falix Petridish, music critic for The Truncheon.

In which the Idiots discuss Nick Nornby's long-form love-letter to football and fandom "Fever Pitch" - returning guest Michael Owen give us his Dream Team and regales us with tales of his friendship and rivalry with Sami Hyypiä - discuss the effect that the football has on the "lower classes" - figure out how to give Grandma the perfect send-off. Featuring Special Guest Experts Peter Reilly (Lucas Jolson) and Michael Owen.

THE LOST EPISODE! In which the Idiots failed to record an episode properly, and subsequently only salvaged half an episode from the mess. Apologies for the long rambling introduction at the beginning. Feel free to skip past the five minute mark if you're adverse to mid range vocal fry.