Inappropriate Questions

People don't think Graham Isador is losing his sight. They think he's an asshole.Short Sighted is an attempt to explain what vision loss feels like by exploring how it sounds.Written and hosted by master storyteller Graham Isador, the show's mini episodes are an intimate and irreverent look at accessibility and its personal impacts.Get lost in someone else's life. From a mysterious childhood spent on the run, to a courageous escape from domestic violence, each season of Personally invites you to explore the human experience in all its complexity, one story — or season — at a time. This is what it sounds like to be human.More episodes of Personally are available at: lnk.to/5UCevtAS

Tested is a new podcast series from CBC and NPR that asks the question, who gets to compete?  Since the beginning of women's sports, there has been a struggle over who qualifies for the women's category. Tested follows the unfolding story of elite female runners who have been told they can no longer race as women, because of their biology. As the Olympics approach, they face hard choices: take drugs to lower their natural testosterone levels, give up their sport entirely, or fight. To understand how we got here, we trace the surprising, 100-year history of sex testing. More episodes of Tested are available at: https://link.chtbl.com/1Knvaf0Y

Fifteen-year-old Tai Poole won't rest until he's uncovered the mysteries of the universe, one probing question at a time. In Season 4 of his Webby-winning podcast, Tai talks to everyone from NASA scientists to stand-up comedians to his equally curious little brother Kien. If you've ever wondered if we can keep eating meat without destroying the planet or if we're alone in the universe, Tai has you covered. More episodes are available at hyperurl.co/taiaskswhy

It's the end of Season 3! Elena and Harv look back at some of the highlights of the season and answer some of your listener questions. Together, they discuss the challenges of hosting, finding the right questions to tackle, and share their proudest moments from the season. Thank you to all of our listeners for joining us. We hope you enjoyed the season! Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

We often ask new people about what they do for work, and if they're in a transition period, the question becomes “What are you going to do now?” Whether they're graduating, starting a family, or about to retire, we are fascinated about career next steps. Is asking this a good way to get to know someone or does it come with certain expectations? Harv's daughters Harbani and Rymn join in to talk about getting this question as they graduate and the pressures they feel to know next steps. Olympic silver medallist Krista Guloien shares what it's like to retire from rowing at 33, and the challenges of finding a new career outside of sport. Stay-at-home mom Vania talks about why she wrote into the show about this question and handling the assumption she'll return to paid work. Psychology professor Anne Wilson discusses how our identities can become entwined with our careers and the problem with society's emphasis on finding your one true calling. Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Autistic people are sometimes met with skepticism when they tell someone they're autistic, especially when they don't match others' assumptions of what autism is. Harv and Elena speak to TikToker Jam about how they realized they're autistic, some of the challenges they face, and how getting a diagnosis isn't accessible to everyone. Disability studies scholar Sara Acevedo talks about some of the reasons people ask this and debunks common stereotypes about autistic people. Connect with our guest below: Jam: Tw: @2jam4u IG:@2jam4u TikTok: @2jam4u Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

We often look back on our favourite movies or shows and wonder where those actors are now. But how does it feel to see this question asked about you? Elena and Harv speak to author Lisa Jakub about her time as a child actor in Mrs. Doubtfire and how her measures of success changed when she left the industry. She also discusses how this question can stem from a lack of boundaries and a misplaced sense of intimacy with actors. Actor and comedian Rivkah Reyes talks about being in School of Rock, the effect that tabloid listicles can have, and why it's so important to be able to share your own story. Connect with our guests below: Lisa Jakub: Tw: @Lisa_Jakub IG: @lisa.jakub Rivkah Reyes: Tw: @rivkahreyes IG: @rivkah.reyes Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

People are fascinated by the reasons people commit crime. But is “why” the right thing to ask a formerly incarcerated person? Kadeem Reid shares his story with incarceration, the impacts of the prison system, and what he wishes people would think about before asking this question. Advocate Sara Tessier explains why this question requires understanding of broader contexts and social systems, and how society can better help formerly incarcerated people move forward. Connect with our guest below: Sara Tessier Tw: @SaraTessier15 Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

People who are blind or have low vision sometimes get approached with offers of help—whether they need it or not. Is it useful to offer help, or is it overstepping? MasterChef Season 3 winner Christine Ha joins Harv and Elena to talk about building a culinary career while losing her vision, and when she finds this question to be helpful. Dr. Mahadeo Sukhai, Director of Research at the Canadian National Institute of the Blind, suggests ways to make this question more useful, and explains how inclusive design could make this question less necessary. Plus, a spoken word piece by Amy Amantea about what it feels like to receive inappropriate questions as someone living with sight loss. Connect with our guest below: Christine Ha: IG: @theblindcook Tw: @theblindcook Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Especially in the past year and a half, lots of us have been trying new things to help manage our mental health. But can suggesting things like meditation and exercise actually help someone with anxiety and/or depression? Elena and Harv talk to comedian and mental health advocate Kelsey Darragh about what she does to cope, checking in with loved ones, and why this question can help open discussions about mental health. For another angle on this question, check out our Season 2 episode “Have you tried _____?” where we discuss this question with people who have chronic illnesses. Connect with our guest below: Kelsey Darragh: Tw: @kelseydarragh IG: @kelseydarragh Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Whether it's by clients, friends or strangers, sex workers are frequently asked to share their bad experiences. Elena and Harv talk with author and sex worker Andrea Werhun about the misconceptions surrounding sex work and why people feel entitled to their stories. AK Saini discusses what people want to hear when they ask this question, and shares the positive aspects of their job. Connect with our guests below: Andrea Werhun IG: @weenerwoman Tw: @andreawerhun AK Saini IG: @akaaksaini Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

In a world of rom-coms and love songs, being single can be seen as a bad thing. It's something our friends, relatives, and even potential partners ask about, but why do we assume we need a partner to be complete? Elena and Harv talk to comedian Salma Hindy about the parental pressure to get married and how to feel okay with being single. Asexual activist and model Yasmin Benoit breaks down myths about asexuality and aromanticism, and why she's never felt single. Money and culture writer Renée Sylvestre-Williams shares how financial systems often aren't built with single people in mind. Connect with our guests below: Salma Hindy IG: @salma.hindy Tw: @salooma911 Yasmin Benoit IG: @theyasminbenoit Tw: @theyasminbenoit Renée Sylvestre-Williams IG: @reneesylvestrewilliams Tw: @reneeswilliams Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Wanting to do better when it comes to fighting racism is great—but even with good intentions, asking the Black people in your life to tell you how isn't the way to start. Elena and Harv talk to author and activist Frederick Joseph about what makes this question frustrating, where to find resources, and how to fill someone's metaphorical cup. Professor Andrea Davis explains emotional labour, our responsibility to seek to know, and how “doing better” isn't a quick and easy process. Connect with our guests below: Frederick Joseph IG: @FredTJosephTw: @FredTJoseph Andrea Davis: Tw: @Adavis777A Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

This week, we're bringing back an episode from our first season. Harv doesn't drink alcohol, and he doesn't have a problem with people asking him why. He and Elena speak to numerous guests to find out whether or not they think “Why don't you drink?” is an inappropriate question. Along the way, there's a lot to unpack about alcohol's role in our society and our personal lives. This episode was originally released February 18, 2019. Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Adoptees all have different experiences when it comes to family. We might assume some parents are “real” and others aren't—and that anyone who doesn't know their birth parents is searching for them. But no one term or story fits for everyone who's adopted. Elena and Harv talk to podcaster Kristen Meinzer about what's behind the word “real” and the myth that all adoptive parents are great parents. Adoption advocate Tony Hynes shares his story of growing up as a Black child raised by two white moms, while staying connected to his birth family. Raven Sinclair, a professor of social work who was adopted as part of the Sixties Scoop, talks about reconnecting with her birth family and culture, and how social systems incentivize the removal of Indigenous children from their families. Connect with our guests below: Kristen Meizner: IG: @k10meinzer Tw: @kristenmeinzer Tony Hynes: IG: @tony_hy Raven Sinclair: Tw: @JustSaying2040 Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Words have the power to shape how we see the world and each other. In Telling Our Twisted Histories, host Kaniehti:io Horn guides listeners through over 70 conversations with people from 15 Indigenous communities sharing their truths about the impact of words on our perspectives, cultures, and lives. Together we will decolonize our histories – and ourselves – one word at a time. More episodes are available at smarturl.it/twistedhistories

When every love song and romcom is about finding your one true love, the idea of having multiple romantic partners can raise a lot of questions. One thing polyamorous people get asked a lot is whether they get jealous. But what really is jealousy and where does it come from? And is it different for people who are non-monogamous? Elena and Harv put these questions to polyamorous therapist Laura Turnbull, who also shares the rewards and challenges of non-monogamy. Polyamory educator Gabrielle Smith gives some tips on handling jealousy and ways to hype yourself up. Connect with our guests below: Laura Turnbull: IG: @thequeerpsychologist Gabrielle Smith: IG: @bygabriellesmith Tw: @GabrielleASmith Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Talking about money can be uncomfortable, especially when we grow up hearing that it’s a taboo topic. It can be really scary to ask a coworker how much they make. But does talking about our salaries more openly lead to more equal pay? Harv and Elena talk to Monica about what she learned from asking this question to her coworkers. YA author L.L. McKinney shares why she started #PublishingPaidMe and whether large-scale pay transparency can lead to change. Diversity and inclusion expert Raafi Alidina talks about the limits of asking this question and what steps employers can take. Connect with our guests below: Monica: IG: @monica.yumeng L.L. McKinney: Tw: @ElleOnWords Raafi Alidina: Tw: @ralidina Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

What's the difference between seeing a therapist and trusting a therapist? Dr. Hillary McBride and her clients want you to hear for yourself in Other People’s Problems. After working together for years, they want to demystify the long game when it comes to mental health and let us hear what years of therapy really sound like. More episodes are available at hyperurl.co/otherpeoplesproblems

In the pandemic, answering “How are you?” isn’t as easy as saying “I’m fine.” Elena and Harv chat with linguistics professor Deborah Tannen and try to figure out if we should still ask “How are you?” when things just haven’t been great. Also featuring some of our favourite pandemic email greetings and signoffs. For more on this question, check out our Season 2 episode “How are you?” where we explore what this question means when you’re grieving. Connect with Deborah on Facebook: @deborah.tannen.1 Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

It’s a staple of small talk, but should it be? People are genuinely curious to learn about each other’s backgrounds or cultures. While this question might start a good conversation, it can often make people feel othered and unwelcome. So where do we go from here? Harv and Elena speak with journalist Eternity Martis about getting this question as a Black woman both in big cities and smaller towns. Eva Jewell offers some insight into how this question can be a great way to make connections when Indigenous peoples ask it to each other. Psychology professor Kevin Nadal shares some helpful tips for anyone who asks or gets asked this question. Connect with our guests below: Eternity Martis: @eternitymartis on Twitter Eva Jewell: @ebaans_ on Twitter Kevin Nadal: @kevinnadal on Twitter and Instagram Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

Not every amputee has a shocking story behind their amputation, and those who do don’t always want to talk about. When your experience is a visible part of you, people often ask about it. Elena and Harv talk with musician Julianna Romanyk about her first day of school speech as a congenital amputee. Comedian Courtney Gilmour shares her thoughts on “inspiration porn” and how cab drivers inspire some of her comedy. Reporter Kerry Benjoe tells us how she uses this question to start important conversations about domestic violence. And adaptive athlete Jamie Gane shares what strangers get wrong about his amputation (no, he wasn’t in the army). Connect with our guests below: Julianna Romanyk: @heyromanyk on Twitter Courtney Gilmour: @courtneyugh on Twitter and @courtneyjgilmour on Instagram Kerry Benjoe: @kerryberryxox on Twitter Jamie Gane: @jamieganeadaptiveathlete on Instagram Follow us! Twitter: @IQ_Podcast Instagram: @IQ_Podcast

2020 was wild but 2021 is wilder with even more inappropriate questions. Harv and Elena are back to unpack more tricky conversations with our guests through personal stories, advice, and dad jokes. Season 3 is coming your way April 21st, with new episodes every other week.

Fourteen year-old Tai Poole returns with Season 3 of Tai Asks Why to ask: What’s happening in my teen brain? How is the Universe going to end? Why do humans dance? And how much screen time is too much? Join Tai as he boldly goes where no 9th-grader has gone before to find you answers you never knew you needed. His conversations with everyone from NASA experts, to physicists and dancers, to his little brother Kien will expand your mind, no matter how old you are! More episodes are available at http://hyperurl.co/taiaskswhy

Asking for the manager can be loaded. It can reveal who we think holds the power in a business—and who we think doesn’t. So what should a customer do when they’re not getting the right service? Jason Suerte Felipe shares his experience handling this question as a retail cashier. Beauty practitioner Asha Allen-Silverstein tells us why people don’t believe she owns her own business as a Black woman. Dr. Laura Morgan Roberts sheds light on the history of the worker-customer power dynamic and where it comes from. Find the webcomic by Amie Wilensky for this episode on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast Connect with our guests below: Jason Suerte Felipe: Ig @JasonSuerte Asha Allen-Silversetin: Ig @torontobrowsxbeauty Dr. Laura Morgan Roberts: Tw @alignmentquest Amie Wilensky: Ig: amiewilenskyart

Is it rude to ask someone their age? Harv isn’t comfortable telling people how old he is anymore and he’s not alone. He and Elena speak to author and activist Ashton Applewhite to debunk some myths about aging and discuss why our society fears growing older. Lifestyle writer Elizabeth Wellington explains how being seen as younger can mask the realities of aging for Black women, and actor Sam Pancake shares his story of facing ageism within the LGBTQ+ community. Connect with our guests below: Ashton Applewhite: Tw @thischairrocks Elizabeth Wellington: Tw @EWellingtonPHL Sam Pancake: Tw @jsampancake

Have you tried yoga? Or changing your diet? Well-meaning people propose lots of ways for people with chronic illnesses to treat their conditions. But managing a chronic illness can be more complicated than we might think. Elena and Harv speak with BuzzFeed deputy director and author Lara Parker about handling unsolicited advice as well as navigating privilege as it relates to chronic illness and potential treatments. Advocate Sneha Dave gives her thoughts on the importance of building a community with youth who share her chronic illness, and patient expert Lara Bloom explains why it can be so hard to find treatments that help. The webcomic for this week’s episode is by Hana Shafi. Find it on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast. Connect with our guests below: Lara Parker: Tw @laraeparker Sneha Dave: Tw @snehadave98 Lara Bloom: Tw @LaraBloom Hana Shafi: Ig @FrizzKidArt

Many Indigenous people get asked how much Indigenous ancestry they have. But identity isn’t all about fractions. Harv and Elena talk to Falen Johnson from The Secret Life of Canada about her identity journey and her “therapy play.” Actress Kaniehtiio Horn discusses how she navigates Hollywood stereotypes and what makes her feel connected to her people. Dr. Kim TallBear tells us why DNA alone doesn’t make someone Indigenous. Our webcomic this week is by Rhael McGregor, available on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast. Take a listen to The Secret Life of Canada’s episode about the Indian Act here: https://www.cbc.ca/radio/secretlifeofcanada/what-do-you-really-know-about-the-indian-act-1.5188255 Connect with our guests below: Falen Johnson: Tw @FalenJohnson Kaniehtiio Horn: Tw @kaniehtiio Dr. Kim TallBear: Tw @KimTallBear Rhael McGregor: IG @raysdrawlings

There are lots of ways to start a family as an LGBTQ+ person, and not all of them are well understood. Harv and Elena speak to queer mom Farrah Khan about why she didn’t want to explain her pregnancy to strangers, and some of the challenges queer people face when it comes to getting pregnant. Journalist Freddy McConnell takes us through his ups and downs of navigating pregnancy as a trans man and single dad. The webcomic for this episode was created by Louise Reimer, find it on our Instagram @IQ_podcast Check out Freddy’s podcast Pride & Joy from BBC Sounds for more stories about queer families. Connect with our guests below: Farrah Khan - Tw: @farrahsafiakhan Freddy McConnell - Tw: @freddymcconnell Louise Reimer - IG: @louisereimer

It’s hard to know the right thing to say to someone who’s grieving. Even the simplest questions aren’t always helpful. Elena and Harv speak to comedian Michael Cruz Kayne, who lost his child, about why we should all talk about grief more. Grief counsellor Kayla Moryoussef gives her advice on what to say next time you want to help a friend who’s experienced a loss. The webcomic for this episode was created by Sara Goetter, find it on our Instagram @IQ_podcast Connect with our guests below: Michael Cruz Kayne – Tw: @cruzkayne Kayla Moryoussef – IG: @gooddeathdoula Sara Goetter – Tw: @sgoetter

Asking someone if they’ve lost weight is often seen as a compliment, but maybe it shouldn’t be. Elena and Harv talk with performer Ivory and writer Bob Kerr to unpack some thoughts about weight. Dietician Kimmie Singh discusses misconceptions between weight and health. Find the webcomic by Mollie Cronin for this episode on our Instagram @IQ_Podcast Connect with our guests below: Ivory (IG: @pureivorydotca) Bob Kerr (Tw: @mrbobkerr) Kimmie Singh, Body Positive Dietician (IG: @bodypositive_dietitian) Mollie Cronin (IG: @art.brat.comics)

Elena and Harv are coming back with a whole new list of inappropriate questions. Our millennial and dad duo sit down with more guests to find kinder ways to navigate difficult conversations.

Elena and Harv sit down with Rymn, Harv’s daughter, to answer your questions! Learn about their favourite podcasts, potential questions for Season 2, and what millennial slang Harv thinks he understands. Thank you for listening to Season 1 of Inappropriate Questions! We are so incredibly thankful we got to share so many interesting stories and perspectives with you. Follow us @iq_podcast for future updates.

People are curious about the choice to be childfree. Harv and Elena discuss it with Meghan Daum, editor of Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids. Sociologists Dr. Amy Blackstone and Dr. Kimya Dennis share some insight into their respective research about childfree people.

Some Muslim women cover their heads, and some don’t—either way, they get asked questions. Elena and Harv speak to writer and entrepreneur Mariam Nouser about her experiences both wearing and not wearing a hijab. Also, journalist Amira Elghawaby tells us why she might actually like to hear more questions about her headscarf from strangers.

You’ve met the hosts, you’ve met the guests, but what about the producers? Harv interviews the Inappropriate Questions team about their not-so-inappropriate origins. Hear how the project started, how Harv ascended to stardom, and some of our favourite moments from the season!

Harv doesn’t drink alcohol, and he doesn’t have a problem with people asking him why. He and Elena speak to numerous guests to find out whether or not they think “Why don’t you drink?” is an inappropriate question. Along the way, there’s a lot to unpack about alcohol’s role in our society and our personal lives.

People are curious about sex. They can be really curious about people with physical disabilities’ sex lives. Disability After Dark host Andrew Gurza joins Elena and Harv to talk sex and disability. Elena also calls up educator and paracanoe champion Christine Selinger.

Asking a mixed-race person about their background can get problematic. Elena and Harv welcome Rema Tavares, who founded Mixed in Canada. Also featuring educator Charlotte Henay.

Transgender folks can get asked invasive questions about their bodies. Harv and Elena speak to student activist Robert Molloy. Also featuring trans youth mentor Danielle Araya from The 519.

People are curious and that's great. But there are some questions you just shouldn't ask—or at least not like that. Introducing Inappropriate Questions, hosted by Elena Hudgins Lyle and Harvinder Wadhwa.