Rediscovering

On this episode of Rediscovering, I have the honor of interviewing Strahan Coleman, a writer and musician from New Zealand. Strahan's work has been formative in my life, and I pray that this conversation is a blessing to you! We talk about his new book, Beholding, stumbling through God-given dreams, dead dreams, grieving, and living prophetically. My favorite kind of conversation. Thank you, Strahan! Links: Buy "Beholding" by: Strahan Coleman More from Strahan Buy "The Rage Against Grace" by: Jordan Sleed --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

In the anger that comes with aching for a better world, we are left longing for power. It's inescapable, this desire to see God. John begins his gospel describing Jesus as the One who offers us "power to become children of God". But the power to become what we long to be isn't accessed through anger and control. It's accessed through trust, or acceptance of God as he is. Is there a way God is inviting you to accept him as he is, right now? “He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.” John 1v11-13, NRSV ------------------------------------------------------------- Keep in touch! Email me: jordansleed@icloud.com Buy my book See you soon! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

“The birth of righteousness and love in this stern world is always a virgin birth.” -Frederick Buechner We're made to tell and hear stories. As we approach Christmas, we might be reminded of the slowness in our own stories. If you're like me, you'll find it hard to go through seasons of slowness without getting demanding, forceful, and even confused about whether God is still with you or not. God continually shows up in surprisingly gentle ways. He takes the long route of development, and I believe it reveals something about his nature. I believe it reveals that he cares more about you and I than he does the timeline. Here's the poem I quoted: “I now see this is who you've always been The Writer who is unafraid to set down the pen To look at the words written with delight and grace Until they carry this love that cannot be erased” ------------------------------------------------------------- Keep in touch! Email me: jordansleed@icloud.com Buy my book See you soon! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Friends, this conversation was such a joy. Andy Squyres has quickly worked his way into being one of my favorite songwriters (and writers). As you'll hear in the conversation, it's not just his cleverness and wit (although he has it). It's his willingness to, as he says, "tell the whole story" through pastoral artistry. We cover a lot of ground in this interview, but not without thoroughly examining said ground. At the time of this interview, Andy was beginning this new, pivotal moment of his life. Yet the clarity and soundness of mind he brings to the common questions many are asking in the Post-Christian West doesn't leave you feeling unheard or confused. Perhaps he sums his artistic vocation and its place up best when he says: "I'm confusing... I'm not confused, but I'm confusing." While his words may, to some audiences, feel like a stumbling block, his work is not based in resentment, polarization, or anything of the power-grabbing sort. It's rooted in love, and it's been a blessing to me. I pray this conversation, and his writings bless you. More about Andy. ______________ Contact me: jordansleed@icloud.com I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Holy Saturday is a confusing day. Thankfully, we know the good news of it leading to Easter Sunday. But, is there something to be learned from its initial uncertainty? Is there an invitation to learn to pray more vulnerably on a day like Saturday? "Saturday" Rain on Holy Saturday You seem to fit what the heart can't say Grieved, uncertain, and shrouded in gray Rain is the language of Saturday Birds still sing, as if they know something But I don't after death anticipate As though underground a garden is now growing And I have one thing to do: wait This poem is in my book, "The Rage Against Grace" --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Good Friday invites us to notice where our zealous expectations of God lead to disappointment. Where do we go from there? "Friday" Misunderstood and patient King Accused and slapped under cover of night Abandoned by friends under rule of fight or flight Misunderstood and patient King Congratulating the meek, poor, and oppressed Promising an unrecognizable, longed-for sabbath rest You are not who I thought you would be You cast down my sword to set me free Yet defenseless and cold I still cannot see Death as the inauguration of jubilee Misunderstood and patient Friend In darkness I find it easy to pretend Warming my hands by the fire in regret It's almost truth to say I never knew you Because I did not quite, yet Find this poem in my book, "The Rage Against Grace". --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Brennan Manning once wrote: “I've decided that if I had my life to live over again, I would not only climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and watch more sunsets; I wouldn't only jettison my hot water bottle, raincoat, umbrella, parachute, and raft; I would not only go barefoot earlier in the spring and stay out later in the fall; but I would devote not one more minute to monitoring my spiritual growth. No, not one.” As somebody who devotes a lot of attention to stat-keeping, this brings up a necessary question: Is keeping track of spiritual growth more harmful than it is helpful? ------ Contact me: jordansleed@icloud.com Buy my poetry book: https://www.amazon.com/Rage-Against-Grace-Healing-Resistant/dp/1952842638/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1QNABUB3R2740&keywords=jordan+sleed+the+rage+against+grace&qid=1646696706&sprefix=jordan+sleed+the+rage+against+grac%2Caps%2C291&sr=8-1 I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

I love praying with Psalm 73. In my questioning of what is fair, I often feel that I'll be safe once I have an answer. But an answer isn't big enough to hold a whole human life. It's enough to bring encouragement, relief, and direction at most. Refuge in the Living God follows the relief that comes (or doesn't come) from answers. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Reducing our expectations of God may seem wise, but ends up being draining. Perhaps God is better than we've imagined. And perhaps we can pray like that's true. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Generally, I want to have certainty about my day-to-day life, almost like the certainty of a checklist. I want to feel in control. This is why I find it interesting that, throughout Scripture, God chooses to speak to His people through dreams and visions. Dreams are often blurry. They leave us with a lot of questions. Why is this such a popular method of communication for God? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

The problem of celebrity, elevating people to a higher platform and standard than the "average" human being can bear, isn't entirely new. But, it's more accessible. Elevating people gets easier the more we have access to somebody via social media. And while it is a human tendency to want to learn from and be influenced by a "leader", what does our way of doing this negatively affect our relationship with God? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Accepting where we actually are and what we actually desire is hard work. It often takes time to get any sort of clarity about the seasons in which we find ourselves. But once we acknowledge them, how does prayer change? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

There are 30 relatively undocumented and unremembered years of the life of Jesus. Since we believe him to be “the word made flesh” and “God in the flesh”, do we get to call it unfaithfulness that there seems to be so much time spent without a recorded event? Of course not, but for some reason, this is the kind of judgment we tend to use toward our own lives. We're invited to collaborate with God as he brings about what he desires to bring about in the time he desires to -- in love. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

I'm so excited to share these poems with you! Buy the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Rage-Against-Grace-Healing-Resistant/dp/1952842638/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1QNABUB3R2740&keywords=jordan+sleed+the+rage+against+grace&qid=1646696706&sprefix=jordan+sleed+the+rage+against+grac%2Caps%2C291&sr=8-1 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

The stereotypical picture of a creative person as an intelligent, yet disorderly character has its merits. But, it is not a true and helpful representation of the most creative followers of Jesus. You know, the people that may get labeled as "prophetic". A prophetic life is a creative life, but that doesn't mean it is a life marked by chaos. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

In an age where internet outrage is normal conversation, it's easy to get defensive. But is God's kingdom in need of defense more than in need of compassionate listeners? I certainly tend to act like it is. In every critique of "the faith" there's an opportunity to see somebody's desire for the love of God, and then to be (or attempt to be) the love of God for the critic. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Why is it so difficult to speak with conviction while remaining compassionate? The love of God would have me realize that these two things are never meant to be at odds with one another. In Christ, there's an invitation to no longer speak as though truth and grace are at odds with one another. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

In the eventfulness (or lack thereof) of life, it's easy to forget certain prayers and requests. I wonder how often I'm walking in an answer to a prayer I've totally forgotten I prayed. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

God is an artist. And perhaps his artistry is what invites us to repentance, letting us see his kingdom here and now. Reading Makoto Fujimura's book, Silence and Beauty, I was confronted with the fact that I don't think art matters. This, of course, led to a lot of spiraling about whether what I was doing with music, poetry, and even this podcast, was impactful or missional enough. Thankfully, that belief has been and is being interrogated. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Continuing the conversation on systems and spirits, we look at the pitfalls of what a trusted system can do. Often, our systems for living life with God become ways to falsely increase comfort level by replacing trust. It is incredibly hard to trust that a life of listening to and responding to God is enough. But, the Way of Jesus is primarily defined by communion with the Father. Any system that begins to serve as a replacement for relationship, waiting, intimacy, and trust, is likely something that needs to be confronted. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

We know that Jesus doesn't invite us to a life of bad behavior replacement -- or "sin management" as Willard called it. But, why do we so often find ourselves continuing to hurt people after we replace our systems and strategies with new and better ones? Why is it so hard to make good things happen? Why is it so hard to see the results of the kingdom of God in true, non-deceptive, integrity-filled ways? These questions have led me to reflect and pray for some time now. And the way I've been thinking about it is that I often address destructive systems when God is calling me to address the spirit (or motive) behind the system. Without addressing the spirit, I end up re-creating its pain through different strategies. Jesus' ministry to heal the human heart is a beautiful thing which I long for now more than ever. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

In a world of efficient and practical systems for communication, it can be easy to write-off all that isn't writeable. Yet we know that so much of the meaning we derive from conversations and people around us isn't just about words that can be written. Human beings have been given more than just the ability to transfer information to one another. We've been made in the image of God, who is more than the words he gives to us. Why is it hard to accept that God is present when his words don't seem to be? This episode comes from some recent personal reflection and prayer, and not at all from a place of arrival. I'm learning to let God meet me in ways that aren't just journal-able, and view his nonverbal engagement with me with just as much delight as the verbal. I referenced 1 Corinthians 2, Psalm 42, and John 14 in this episode, reading from the NIV. Thanks so much for joining me! Want to talk about any of this? Send me an email: jordansleed@icloud.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

The secret to freedom is hidden in the dialogue between Peter and Jesus during the familiar Passover meal scene of John 13. The greatest hindrance to a life of love is not that it's really hard to do service for people as Jesus calls me to, but that it's really hard to allow Jesus to wash my feet first. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Part 2 of our discussion on fear and love, we look at a beautiful passage from the prophet Hosea, and reflect on what could be going on in the wilderness. One of fear's main functions, it seems, is to "protect" us where we feel vulnerable. Fear and shame often work in tandem, causing us, like Adam and Eve, to cover ourselves and hide from the God of love. Over time, we build structures and systems for daily life that are ultimately governed by fear. In God's strange economy, it seems that the wilderness, a place where everything we are familiar with is stripped away, is a gift. It is a gift to be exposed where we have hidden, so that we might know what it's like to be run by love instead of fear. Hosea 2v14-15 NIV “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt." Thanks so much for joining me! Contact me: jordansleed@icloud.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Part 1 of a conversation about fear and love. These two show up in my everyday life as two paths and promises on how to get what I want out of life. The biblical authors seemed to see the same war at play. At first glance, "do not fear" sounds like pretty insensitive and unhelpful advice. It smells of spiritual bypassing. Why is it repeated so many times, by God, to his people, all through the story of the Bible? Writers like John seem to pick up on the absolute necessity of taking this into account by contrasting what it means to be perfected by the love of God rather than enslaved by fear. Fear shows up in everybody's life, every single day, in much more subversively subtle ways than horror movies would have us believe. The invitation of Jesus could be summarized as being freed from our systems of fear so that we might be liberated and governed by the love of God. Fear and love are in direct opposition as teachers on how to live. 1 John 4v15-18 NIV "If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Thanks so much for joining me! Contact me: jordansleed@icloud.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Part four of a conversation about waiting. In this episode, I share some poems/prayers that have come up in my life as I learn to wait on God. Waiting is inevitable, and though it is frustrating and painful, God continues to meet me in it, redeeming my view of time I think is lost. Poem 1: “What do I desire as I look on gray skies But the elusively bright observed before? What damage is done in affirming this lie That I must revert what the day has in store? When sunlight peaks through darkened clouds It is no marvel of disrespect For the gloom I thought a useless shroud Is adorned with the light it seemed to reject” Poem 2: “My God who brings the morning With light beams and fiery dawn With new mercies adorning The beauty newly drawn Here I sit in haze Over-burdened by the night Calling aimless each day Live in lack of sight Yearning for sunrise, I remember how it set Orange and blue and cool Was it not there I laid my head to rest? To be healed of my tiring rule Yes, in sleep I often wander In dreams I'm quickly unclear Am I to rest more than I ponder If the night is truly here? My God who brings the night To carry me past false delight To place me upon an unseen hill From here I'll watch the morning, still” Excerpt from Wendell Berry poem: “Sleep is the prayer the body prays, Breathing in unthought faith the Breath That through our worry-wearied days Preserves our rest, and is our truth.” Thanks for joining me in this journey! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Part three of a conversation about waiting on God. To our Western ears, waiting often sounds like an euphemism for laziness. The church is no exception to this belief. Often we hear people (or ourselves) talk about not knowing what to do, waiting, learning to trust God, and think they're just careless. At worst, we think waiting means hopelessness. There's something really uncomfortable about facing space where our input doesn't make things happen. There's something really uncomfortable about it whether we make it happen by putting margin in our calendars, or if it's forced upon us. Jesus' Way is not at all the easy way through life. He's certainly not lazy, but he's also not afraid to passively let God be God. We see that all through His life. Perhaps the psalmist who waits on God like the watchman waits for morning had some wisdom about what our actual responsibility is in waiting. Psalm 130 NRSV A Song of Ascents. 1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord. 2 Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications! 3 If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? 4 But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered. 5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; 6 my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning. 7 O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is great power to redeem. 8 It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities. Contact me: jordansleed@icloud.com I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Here is part two of a conversation about waiting on God, and praying with the wisdom of Psalm 130. Why is it that when we try to "let go" and put waiting into practice, we find ourselves even more restless? There are so many desires at war and at play when we slow down enough to let ourselves be aware of them. Waiting on God is difficult, not because its goal is to make us feel restless, but because it often brings to the surface an already-present pedantic search for answers. Maybe answers aren't the only thing you and I need when we come to the realization that we are in the in-between. "In waiting, we learn to have a spirituality of receptivity. In the face of a spirituality that encourages me to be manically searching for answers, there is the receptive way of life, waiting on and responding to God." Psalm 130 NIV A song of ascents. 1 Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; 2 Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. 3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? 4 But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. 5 I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. 6 I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. 7 Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. 8 He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins. Contact me: jordansleed@icloud.com I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Part 1 of a conversation about waiting on God, listening to the wisdom of the prayer in Psalm 130. Psalm 130 invites us to pray by waiting. So often, we live with an idea that our time is invaluable if we are not actively producing visible results. We write off certain moments and seasons as though they are not important. Our view of self suffers, as our view of God dwindles into a picture of a divine scorekeeper, only seeing the value in us when we are in seemingly significant moments. Waiting is hard. First, it seems like a waste of time. And second, it's really hard for us to let ourselves sit still! In this episode, we'll look at the psalmist's words, and begin to talk about value of waiting on God in prayer, through our everyday moments of boredom and seasons of transition. "Waiting on God with an awareness of my need for him, at the depths of my soul, causes me to die to the idea that some moments are just transitory and unimportant. But also, I must die to the idea that I'm the one with the responsibility of making time worthwhile on my own." Psalm 130 NIV A song of ascents. 1 Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; 2 Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. 3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? 4 But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. 5 I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. 6 I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. 7 Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. 8 He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins. Contact me: jordansleed@icloud.com I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support

Here is a quick overview of what this podcast is and why I'm doing it. It's just a place to share what I've been writing, thinking about, and, most importantly, living. Hopefully, these episodes encourage conversation, thought, and prayer. If you want to talk... Email: jordansleed@icloud.com Instagram: @jordansleed I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jordan-sleed/support