Podcasts about My God

“How is the Mass Christ’s sacrifice?” This question leads to a discussion on how Catholics view the Mass as the re-presentation of Christ’s single sacrifice, despite the experience of imperfection after attending. Other topics include the validity of saying “My Lord and My God” during consecration, and how to address challenges to the authenticity of Scripture. Join the Catholic Answers Live Club Newsletter Invite our apologists to speak at your parish! Visit Catholicanswersspeakers.com Questions Covered: 05:35 – Catholics believe that the Mass is the re-presentation of the single sacrifice of Christ, which Hebrews 10:14 says makes us perfect. But Catholics attend Mass and leave not perfected. Therefore, the Mass must not be the single sacrifice of Christ. 16:02 – A couple weeks ago I heard someone on CA say that you shouldn't say “My Lord and My God” at the consecration. But my priest told me there is actually a partial indulgence for doing this. What's true? 23:52 – How do you navigate the constant bombardment of people who deny the authenticity of scripture? 33:52 – Was Jesus always there from the beginning with God? 43:46 – The Hail Mary and the Hail Holy Queen seem like idolatry to me. 50:20 – What do Catholics believe about predestination? Is every event meant to be?

If you were writing a story about the Son of God, Mark chapter 15 is probably not the story you would write. Jesus is arrested, mocked, beaten, humiliated, and executed — and through almost all of it, He is completely silent. No protest. No retaliation. No escape. And He had every power to do all of those things. So why did Jesus choose surrender? That's the question we're sitting with today, and I think the answer changes everything about how we understand not just Easter, but every hard and unresolved season in our own lives. We walk through the full weight of what's happening in this chapter — the crowd that was shouting Hosanna just days earlier is now demanding Barabbas. Pilate, conflicted and cowardly, bends to the pressure. Jesus is crucified between two criminals, mocked by the very people He came to save. And darkness covers the land for three full hours. I want us to really sit with what the cross meant in Roman culture — this was the symbol of highest shame, of total defeat, of public humiliation. The word excruciating literally comes from the Latin word for crucifixion. And in the middle of all of that, at the very moment when Jesus cries out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" — that is the moment theologians point to as when He took the sin of the entire world onto His shoulders and experienced, for the first and only time, separation from His Father. That cry? That is the most painful moment of all of it — not the nails, not the mockery, but the weight of sin creating distance from God. And then He says it is finished. And the temple curtain tears in two. Here's why that matters so much: that curtain separated the people from the presence of God. Only one priest, once a year, after elaborate ritual, could enter that space. When it tears — it tears because the barrier between us and God is gone. Forever. Through the breaking of Jesus's body, we now have full access to the presence of God. No more separation. No more curtain. This is not just a personal salvation transaction. This is a cosmic shift in how the world works. And it happened in what looked like the darkest, most defeated moment in history. So whatever unresolved, silent, confusing season you're in right now — I want you to know that Jesus has been there. He has gone before us in the silence, in the suffering, in the feeling of God's absence. And because He did, we never have to experience real separation from God again. What Does It Mean for Me? Can I trust God when circumstances feel unresolved? Can I trust God with the unknowns in my own story? What does surrender look like for me today? What does it look like to actually surrender at the foot of the cross, knowing that Jesus has taken my sin upon his shoulders? If I knew I was right with God — today, tomorrow, and the rest of my life — how would I feel? How would I act? What would I do? If I can't get there yet, what would that freedom even feel like — and what would it look like to move toward it? Want More? Read along: Mark 15 Old Testament prophecy fulfilled here: Isaiah 53:7 — written 600 years before Jesus's birth Psalm connection: Psalm 13:1 — "How long, Lord, will you forget me forever?" — an honest lament for hard seasons One-sentence prayer for the week: "God, help me trust that your silence is not the same thing as your absence." Book mentioned: Not What I Signed Up For by Nicole Unice — for anyone in an unexpected, disorienting, or suffering season. Includes a free video Bible study series. Find it at NicoleUnice.com Stay connected and access resources at NicoleUnice.com/realtalk Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this episode, we examine Jesus words from the cross, "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?" Ultimately we see that real faith is placing ourselves in the hands of God when it feels like God is not there!

A Few Minutes In The Gospel Of Mark  Part 35:  The Passover Prophecy Of Psalm 22  -  English only.  As Messiah hung on the cross, He cried, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"  Did Yeshua's faith waver? Did God actually forsake His Son?   Join us as we study this critical passage!  This is a rebroadcast of a podcast originally recorded on March 15, 2023. 

Our Enemies Were Defeated (1) (audio) David Eells – 5/27/26 Saints, our enemies are already defeated, and we enter into and appropriate this promise by faith. Fight every battle like the enemy is conquered. Luk.1:67-75 Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel; For he hath visited and wrought redemption for his people, 69 And hath raised up a horn (a strength or weapon against enemies) of salvation for us In the house of his servant David (This represents Jesus, and now Jesus in the Man-child David reformers.) 70 (As he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets that have been from of old), 71 Salvation from our enemies, and from the hand of all that hate us; (We have already been saved from the wicked enemies because Jesus was cursed for us. Believe and confess this, avoiding willful sin, until it manifests.) 72 To show mercy towards our fathers, And to remember his holy covenant; (It is His covenant to save us from enemies.) 73 The oath which he sware unto Abraham our father, 74 To grant unto us that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies Should serve him without fear, (We were delivered from the hand of the wicked.) 75 In holiness and righteousness before him all our days. (We were given Jesus' holiness and righteousness, which the wicked refuse in their unforgiveness and judgment of Esau's seed.) I know of the natural fulfillment of this text, but the Lord was showing me a spiritual fulfillment too. Zec.12:1-9 The burden of the word of Jehovah concerning Israel. Thus saith Jehovah, who stretcheth forth the heavens, and layeth the foundation of the earth, and formeth the spirit of man within him: 2 Behold, I will make Jerusalem (The Bride) a cup of reeling unto all the peoples round about, and upon Judah also shall it be in the siege against Jerusalem. (The wicked stagger with hatred for the Bride. The Dragon, shown to be Satan in his world body in Revelation 12, has one consuming desire: to devour the Man-child so he can then devour the Woman. Those of his vessels who proclaim to be Christians besiege them, for they are of the Dragon. Just as their forefathers did to Jesus, the prophets, and the saints, they consider themselves to be doing God a favor. I have been amazed since we heard from God years ago of the parallel between the faction in the Church and the faction in the government. The God of the leftist, communist, anarchist, fornicators, etc., shows the same hatred and uses the same slander against the Trump administration. They are always assured by Satan that they will win because they cheat, but they ultimately will lose, for all the evidence of their perversion, theft, lies, etc., is against them, and all will be revealed. Rev.12:11-12 And they overcame him [the Dragon] because of the blood of the Lamb, and because of the word of their testimony; and they loved not their life even unto death. 12 Therefore rejoice, O heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe for the earth and for the sea: because the devil is gone down unto you, having great wrath, knowing that he hath but a short time. (And remember we wrestle not against flesh and blood but principalities and powers.) Back to Zec.12:3 And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all the peoples; all that burden themselves with it shall be sore wounded; and all the nations of the earth shall be gathered together against it. (The wicked hate the Bride for she is a manifestation of all that sinners hate. She is a manifestation of Jesus who came unto His own and His own received Him not.) 4 In that day, saith Jehovah, I will smite every horse with terror, (The horse represents the strength of the beastly flesh that is harnessed to do man's and therefore Satan's will. They are in terror now because they fear that all of their evil is known and will be (and are being) prosecuted. The faction in both camps of the Dragon is launching one last desperate attempt to destroy their enemy, but God has foretold their end. The Red Sea, Sennacherib, Jehoshaphat, the Northern army, is their end.) I will smite… his rider with madness (Even the average lost man sees their insanity. They can't stop telling on themselves that they are communists, anarchists, racists, murderers, fornicators, etc.); and I will open mine eyes upon the house of Judah, and will smite every horse of the peoples with blindness. (They will not be able to find a way to defeat us or a way out of their predicament.) 5 And the chieftains of Judah shall say in their heart, The inhabitants of Jerusalem are my strength in Jehovah of hosts their God. 6 In that day will I make the chieftains of Judah like a pan of fire among wood, and like a flaming torch among sheaves; and they shall devour all the peoples round about, (Just as David did) on the right hand and on the left; and they of Jerusalem shall yet again dwell in their own place, even in Jerusalem. (David conquered unregenerate Jerusalem, which was called Jebus. The Jebusites were the old man of the land, the wicked who had to be removed so it would become Jerusalem, the Bride. It is coming to pass by the grace of our God.) 7 Jehovah also shall save the tents of Judah first, that the glory of the house of David and the glory of the inhabitants of Jerusalem be not magnified above Judah. 8 In that day shall Jehovah defend the inhabitants of Jerusalem (The Bride, according to John in Revelation.): and he that is feeble among them at that day shall be as David; and the house of David shall be as God, as the angel of Jehovah before them. (What enemy can win when God is in His people by His Word and Spirit?) 9 And it shall come to pass in that day, that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem. (And so it shall be.) Psa.44:2-8 Thou didst drive out the nations with thy hand; But them thou didst plant: Thou didst afflict the peoples; But them thou didst spread abroad. 3 For they gat not the land in possession by their own sword, Neither did their own arm save them; But thy right hand, and thine arm, and the light of thy countenance, Because thou wast favorable unto them. 4 Thou art my King, O God: Command deliverance for Jacob. 5 Through thee will we push down our adversaries: Through thy name will we tread them under that rise up against us. 6 For I will not trust in my bow, Neither shall my sword save me. 7 But thou hast saved us from our adversaries, And hast put them to shame that hate us. 8 In God have we made our boast all the day long, And we will give thanks unto thy name for ever. Selah. Rom.8:31-37 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not also with him freely give us all things? 33 Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth; 34 who is he that condemneth? (Satan, the Dragon, and his body) It is Christ Jesus that died, yea rather, that was raised from the dead, who is at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. (And who is mightier than the prayers of Jesus for us?) 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 Even as it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; We were accounted as sheep for the slaughter. (As the flesh of sheep was sacrificed to bring atonement, so we ourselves must be sacrificed to make us pure before God. The power by which we do this is that of Jesus' sacrifice. He died that we may die to self.) 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. It was said to the Bride, a position that was once forsaken when God's people went into captivity for their sins, but now God is building her again. Isa.54:1-17 Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith Jehovah. 2 Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thy habitations; spare not: lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes. 3 For thou shalt spread abroad on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall possess the nations, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited. 4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth; and the reproach of thy widowhood shalt thou remember no more. 5 For thy Maker is thy husband; Jehovah of hosts is his name: and the Holy One of Israel is thy Redeemer; the God of the whole earth shall he be called. 6 For Jehovah hath called thee as a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, even a wife of youth, when she is cast off, saith thy God. 7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee (As it was with Jesus, Who said, “My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me” but then resurrection life came into Him); but with great mercies will I gather thee. 8 In overflowing wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting lovingkindness will I have mercy on thee, saith Jehovah thy Redeemer. 9 For this is as the waters of Noah unto me (The waters of the Word killed the wicked and saved Noah); for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah shall no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I will not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. 10 For the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed; but my lovingkindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall my covenant of peace be removed, saith Jehovah that hath mercy on thee. 11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will set thy stones in fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. 12 And I will make thy pinnacles of rubies, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy border of precious stones. 13 And all thy children shall be taught of Jehovah; and great shall be the peace of thy children. 14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression, for thou shalt not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near thee. 15 Behold, they may gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall because of thee. 16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the fire of coals, and bringeth forth a weapon for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy. 17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of Jehovah, and their righteousness which is of me, saith Jehovah. 1Co.15:57 but thanks be to God, who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labor is not vain in the Lord. Deu.20:4 for Jehovah your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you. 2Co.11:13-15 For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, fashioning themselves into apostles of Christ. 14 And no marvel; for even Satan fashioneth himself into an angel of light. 15 It is no great thing therefore if his ministers also fashion themselves as ministers of righteousness, whose end shall be according to their works. 2Co.4:1-6 Therefore seeing we have this ministry, even as we obtained mercy, we faint not: 2 but we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by the manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled in them that perish: 4 in whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of the unbelieving, that the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should not dawn upon them. 5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6 Seeing it is God, that said, Light shall shine out of darkness, who shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. Even when the reprobates hear this text, they are unmoved. Rom.1:20-2:11 For the invisible things of him since the creation of the world are clearly seen, being perceived through the things that are made, even his everlasting power and divinity; that they may be without excuse: 21 because that, knowing God, they glorified him not as God, neither gave thanks; but became vain in their reasonings, and their senseless heart was darkened. 22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 and changed the glory of the incorruptible God for the likeness of an image of corruptible man, and of birds, and four-footed beasts, and creeping things. 24 Wherefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts unto uncleanness, that their bodies should be dishonored among themselves: 25 for that they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile passions: for their women changed the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working unseemliness, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was due. 28 And even as they refused to have God in their knowledge, God gave them up unto a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 backbiters, hateful to God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 without understanding, covenant-breakers, without natural affection, unmerciful: 32 who, knowing the ordinance of God, that they that practise such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but also consent with them that practise them. Rom.2:1 Wherefore thou art without excuse, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest dost practise the same things. … 5 but after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up for thyself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God; 6 who will render to every man according to his works: 7 to them that by patience in well-doing seek for glory and honor and incorruption, eternal life: 8 but unto them that are factious, and obey not the truth, but obey unrighteousness, shall be wrath and indignation, 9 tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that worketh evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Greek; 10 but glory and honor and peace to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Greek: 11 for there is no respect of persons with God. Luk.10:17-20 And the seventy returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are subject unto us in thy name. 18 And he said unto them, I beheld Satan fallen as lightning from heaven. 19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall in any wise hurt you. 20 Nevertheless in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. We must take care to fight the demonic enemies. The spiritual enemies that our human enemies have given their lives over to serve. Mar.16:17 And these signs shall accompany them that believe: in my name shall they cast out demons... Eph.6:10-18 Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of his might. (Let the weak say, I am strong) 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Wherefore take up the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and, having done all, to stand. (If you will not stand now, what about the evil day?) 14 Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, (We are the righteousness of Christ; we do not have to give in.) 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 withal taking up the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one. (He sends many thoughts into our minds to conquer us, like wrestling with people (the flesh) instead of him. We should have faith in the truth to defend ourselves.) 17 And take the helmet of salvation (And quench the fiery thoughts), and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18 with all prayer and supplication praying at all seasons in the Spirit, and watching thereunto in all perseverance and supplication for all the saints. (Be filled with the Holy Spirit so you can pray in the Spirit.) These spiritual powers are now under the feet of His Body. Eph.1:17-23 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him; 18 having the eyes of your heart enlightened, that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, 19 and what the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to that working of the strength of his might 20 which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and made him to sit at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule, and authority, and power, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: 22 and he put all things in subjection under his feet, and gave him to be head over all things to the church, 23 which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all. (Notice the Lord is the head of the body and He put the enemies under His feet, the lowest member of His body.) Col.2:12-15 having been buried with him in baptism, wherein ye were also raised with him through faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. 13 And you, being dead through your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, you, I say, did he make alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses; 14 having blotted out the bond written in ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us: and he hath taken it out of the way, nailing it to the cross; 15 having despoiled the principalities and the powers, he made a show of them openly, triumphing over them in it. (To triumph means to celebrate the victory.) Luk.10:1 Now after these things the Lord appointed seventy others, and sent them two and two before his face into every city and place, whither he himself was about to come. ... Luk.17 And the seventy returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are subject unto us in thy name. (They did not have the Holy Spirit at this time, but they were given the authority of the name of Jesus.) 18 And he said unto them, I beheld Satan fallen as lightning from heaven. (They were casting down the dominion of Satan.) 19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents (demons whose poison is in the head = deception) and scorpions (demons whose poison is in the tail = to make you powerless, respectively), and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall in any wise hurt you. (Believe and confess this victory efore the enemy.) 20 Nevertheless in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. (These scorpion spirits come to rob you of justification by faith so that you lose the benefits of Jesus' sacrifice and have to start over to recognize the benefits of the crucifixion. Many are crucifying Jesus afresh.) If you have confessed any sins that you know of, which are the only ones that count, He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:7-9), then you are justified. Then reconciliation is made, and you are to see Jesus in the mirror by faith because, as Paul said, you don't live anymore; Christ lives in you. Gal.2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ liveth in me: and that life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith which is in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself up for me. 2Co.3:18 But we all, with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are transformed into the same image from glory to glory, even as from the Lord the Spirit. Then you are to reject the condemnation of the devil. If you see yourself in the mirror after you have confessed all sin, you are beating up “Christ in you” just like the faction does. You are crucifying Him afresh. If you are condemning yourself after you confess your sins honestly, you do not believe Jesus, and you will get no grace to overcome. You are beating Him up in you. If you are in willful sin, confess and forsake it and see Jesus in the mirror. Confess His righteousness and holiness are yours, and you don't live anymore. There is no other way to have power from God to defeat self. When the disciples asked, “What must we do to do the works of God?” Jesus said, “Believe on him who He hath sent” … Eve Brast dreamed of wisdom to resist crucifying Jesus on 8-29-20: What I heard the Lord saying was: “Why do you, My people, crucify me afresh continually? For you are indeed crucifying me afresh.” (According to the dream, it is by helping the evil spirits to crucify Jesus.) I thought this dream was just a personal correction, but when I heard the Spirit say, “My people,” and Lexi's interpretation of M. L.'s tongue, He said, “Why are you, My children, forsaking Me for the world?” I knew this dream was a corporate correction to the body. (When we accept what demons say about us instead of what Christ says about us in His promises, we are giving up ground to the demons, we are crucifying Christ in us.) Here's the dream: I was walking through an old western town along the main dirt road with Jesus. He was to my right, and at first, I was happy to be walking next to him. But then I looked up and saw that the whole left side of His face and head had been severely beaten, and He was all bloody. (The wicked deface Christ to others. He is not like them. We should be a revelation of true Christianity.) He had blood stains on his garments, and He looked like He had been dragged through the dirt. I was horrified to see Him like this, and I felt immense pain for Him. And then I became very angry and indignant and asked Him, “Who did this to you?!” He turned and gestured with an open left hand and arm to a group of followers, who were supposed to be His disciples, about 10 to 20 paces behind us, and I looked back at them. They were clamoring at Him and shaking their fists in anger at Him and also at one another. There was much confusion amongst them. (Those from among God's people who fall away to become slanderers, railers, accusers, and haters of the righteous are these. These are the wicked who crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh and put Him to an open shame, but we are exhorted to hold on to the faith and not help them to kill us. Heb.6:1-12 Wherefore leaving the doctrine of the first principles of Christ, let us press on unto perfection; not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, 2 of the teaching of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment. 3 And this will we do, if God permit. 4 For as touching those who were once enlightened and tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Spirit, 5 and tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the age to come, 6 and then fell away, it is impossible to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. 7 For the land which hath drunk the rain that cometh oft upon it (The Word), and bringeth forth herbs meet for them for whose sake it is also tilled, receiveth blessing from God: 8 but if it beareth thorns and thistles, it is rejected and nigh unto a curse; whose end is to be burned. 9 But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak: 10 for God is not unrighteous to forget your work and the love which ye showed toward his name, in that ye ministered unto the saints, and still do minister. 11 And we desire that each one of you may show the same diligence unto the fulness of hope even to the end: 12 that ye be not sluggish, but imitators of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises. Notice the wicked are facing Eve and the Lord. When they accuse you, they are accusing the Lord, as in Mat.25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of these my brethren, even these least, ye did it unto me. (If you accept those spirits' words, you will crucify Christ in you again.) I looked back up at Jesus, and He looked at me with such love in His eyes, but it was mixed with hurt and a questioning look of, “Why did you take part in helping them?” Suddenly, I got the revelation that I had helped these people to drag Jesus through the dirt and crucify Him afresh. I was all at once horrified by this realization, and as I woke up and began to process what I had dreamed. (When do we help the wicked crucify Jesus again? When we accept what their scorpion spirits speak to us of condemnation, accusation, slander, faction, reminding us of our past, instead of believing we were crucified with Christ. Through witchcraft, they send these spirits against the righteous and even those who do not qualify as saints but favor the saints. As the witches are warring against the Trump administration with these lies now, and some are believing them and turning away from truth. Eve asked for prayer from Michael and me. We learned she was believing the condemnation of these spirits, which helps them to crucify Christ in her. So, we reminded her of the good news of grace, and she was cured. We were all forgiven, healed, and delivered from sin.) Luk.11:20-23 But if I by the finger of God cast out demons, then is the kingdom of God come upon you. 21 When the strong man fully armed guardeth his own court, his goods are in peace: (Satan's kingdom) 22 but when a stronger than he shall come upon him, and overcome him (Jesus), he taketh from him his whole armor (Notice: Satan has lost; he has no defense against us.) armor wherein he trusted, and divideth his spoils. (to us) 23 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth. (We must be plundering Satan's kingdom by faith, or we will flee from the scorpion demons. (Scattereth here is the Greek word “skorpizo” meaning, “to penetrate and put to flight” as a scorpion or a hornet does with its tail to make you run from it, just as the hornet drove the enemies from the Promised Land.) Examples of Scorpion scattering demons: fear, anxiety, rejection, guilt, shame, unbelief, self-pity, discouragement, depression, fear of man, unforgiveness -Mat.18:34-35, condemnation - 1Jo.3:21-22. Examples of the Hornet scattering: Deu.7:20, Jos.24:12, Rev.21:8). If we are running from the demons, they are taking back the ground behind us, crucifying Christ in us. Then we have to return to faith and start all over, taking back that ground Jesus gave us. Consider the nature of these spirits carefully and how, when you accept them, they conquer your faith and justification, and you cannot stand before the demons. You must war with the Sword of the Spirit and use your faith against these and others, or you will not bear fruit. Pray and ask the Lord to help you discern your thoughts. 2Co.10:3-5 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh 4 (for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the casting down of strongholds), 5 casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; Being subject to God gives us power over the enemy. Jas.4:7 Be subject therefore unto God; but resist the devil, and he will flee from you. How can we be subject to God? 1Jn.1:7-9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Jas 5:16 confess therefore your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The supplication of a righteous man availeth much in its working. Be not deceived, you must repent by faith in the promises, or you cannot enter the kingdom. 1Co.6:9 Or know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men,10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God. We have absolute authority over the demons' lies. Luk.10:19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall in any wise hurt you. 20 Nevertheless in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. 21 In that same hour he rejoiced in the Holy Spirit, and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that thou didst hide these things from the wise and understanding, and didst reveal them unto babes: yea, Father; for so it was well-pleasing in thy sight. Mar.16:17 And these signs shall accompany them that believe: in my name shall they cast out demons; they shall speak with new tongues; 18 they shall take up serpents, and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall in no wise hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. Joh.14:13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Mat.18:19 Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father who is in heaven. Mar.11:22-25 And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. 23 Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou taken up and cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that what he saith cometh to pass; he shall have it. 24 Therefore I say unto you, All things whatsoever ye pray and ask for, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. 25 And whensoever ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any one; that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (If you do not forgive, you have no benefits of the Kingdom of God but are under demons.) Mat.6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Mat.18:34-35 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due. 35 So shall also my heavenly Father do unto you, if ye forgive not every one his brother from your hearts. The faction demons refuse to obey this. Col.1:12-13 giving thanks unto the Father, who made us meet (able) to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light; 13 who delivered us out of the power of darkness, and translated us into the kingdom of the Son of his love; Mat.10:5-8 These twelve Jesus sent forth, and charged them, saying, Go not into any way of the Gentiles, and enter not into any city of the Samaritans: 6 but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 7 And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons: freely ye received, freely give. Mar.7:26-30 Now the woman was a Greek, a Syrophoenician by race. And she besought him that he would cast forth the demon out of her daughter. 27 And he said unto her, Let the children first be filled: for it is not meet to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. 28 But she answered and saith unto him, Yea, Lord; even the dogs under the table eat of the children's crumbs. 29 And he said unto her, For this saying go thy way; the demon is gone out of thy daughter. 30 And she went away unto her house, and found the child laid upon the bed, and the demon gone out. Luk.13:11 And behold, a woman that had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years; and she was bowed together, and could in no wise lift herself up. …16 And ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan had bound, lo, these eighteen years, to have been loosed from this bond on the day of the sabbath? (2Co.7:1) Having therefore these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Mat.28:19 Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit: 20 teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I commanded you: and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.   Printer-friendly version

SCRIPTUREMatthew 6: 25-27MUSICELOHIM by Marty SamsonClick Here for the YouTube Video to the SongVERSE 1: I stand upon the solid rock Of faith in Christ This steadfast hope shall not Break apart within the trial I am assured His promises will never fail As long as life remains He is faithful CHORUS: God is patient God is kind He does not envy He does not boast His ways are higher than my own His thoughts consume the great unknown Of this alone I am sure My God is love VERSE 2: I draw my breath under His Created windswept sky I know my hope shall last Long after my flesh retires From dusk until the dawn He calls His children home His righteous love outlasts generations BRIDGE: He is Almighty God Elohim Maker of the earth He is the Lord of hosts Heaven's King God of endless worth His kingdom stands above Every power Every living soul His love is like the sun Ever true Shining over all NOTES- Blog: 

“Live from approval, not for it.” FALLEN CONDITION We are slaves to the fear of rejection and the craving for approval. A few people's opinions carry enormous weight, and without realizing it we let them rule our lives; shrinking, performing, and comparing to win a verdict we can never secure. SOLUTION IN CHRIST On the cross Jesus bore the rejection we feared most: “My God, why have you forsaken me?” so that in Him we are justified: declared approved, loved, and clothed in His perfect record. When the Father looks at us, He sees Christ. Resting in that finished verdict, we no longer need anyone's approval, and we are free to live for God's pleasure out of joy, not fear. VISION FOR THE GROVE The Grove to live as a community of sons and daughters who fear no one's rejection and crave no one's applause. Free from the lust for admiration and validation, with nothing to prove, we love God and love one another from that freedom; free and fully alive. Links: Website: https://thegrovechurch.co Instagram: https://instagram.com/thegrovechurchofficial Facebook: https://facebook.com/thegrovechurchofficial Sermon Audio: https://soundcloud.com/thegrovechurchofficial Podcast: https://tr.ee/c0BcdkUV3C Support Our Ministry: https://grovechurch.churchcenter.com/giving If this video was helpful to you, please like, comment, and subscribe — and share it with someone who needs hope today.

Listen and subscribe to Money Making Conversations on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, www.moneymakingconversations.com/subscribe/ or wherever you listen to podcasts. New Money Making Conversations episodes drop daily. I want to alert you, so you don’t miss out on expert analysis and insider perspectives from my guests who provide tips that can help you uplift the community, improve your financial planning, motivation, or advice on how to be a successful entrepreneur. Keep winning! Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Johnny Lynum.

Listen and subscribe to Money Making Conversations on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, www.moneymakingconversations.com/subscribe/ or wherever you listen to podcasts. New Money Making Conversations episodes drop daily. I want to alert you, so you don’t miss out on expert analysis and insider perspectives from my guests who provide tips that can help you uplift the community, improve your financial planning, motivation, or advice on how to be a successful entrepreneur. Keep winning! Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Johnny Lynum.

Send us Fan MailHebreërs 7:25 Daarom kan Hy ook dié wat deur Hom na God gaan, eens en vir altyd verlos: Hy lewe vir altyd om vir hulle by God in te tree. Daar is deesdae soveel slegte nuus. Diktators, oorloë, lyding, uitbuiting, misdaad. Dis regtig lelik, nè? So, wat doen ons? Ons kyk noord en ploeter voort op ons eenvoudige manier op soek na ons klein ou kolletjie onder die son. Maar sê-nou daar is meer in die lewe as dit?Blaise Pascal was 'n briljante 17de-eeuse Franse wiskundige, fisikus en uitvinder. Hy het groot bekendheid verwerf vir baie uitvindings, veral vir die een wat Pascal se Driehoek genoem word. Ten spyte van sy akademiese sukses, het hy met innerlike onrus, siekte en 'n gevoel van geestelike leegheid geworstel. Dit het alles verander op een nag toe hy 'n kragtige ontmoeting met Jesus gehad het.Hy het dit sy "nag van vuur" genoem. Hy het daardie nag die Teenwoordigheid van die lewende God ervaar. Hy het sy belewenis van daardie aand op 'n stukkie perkament neergeskryf en in sy jas gebêre - waar dit eers agt jaar ná sy dood, op die ouderdom van 39, gevind is. Daarop was geskryf: My God, my God, waarom het ek U verlaat? Mag ek nooit weer van U geskei wees nie.Hebreërs 7:25 Daarom kan Hy ook dié wat deur Hom na God gaan, eens en vir altyd verlos: Hy lewe vir altyd om vir hulle by God in te tree.Het jy al jou nag van vuur gehad? Het jy al van aangesig tot aangesig met Jesus, wat vir jou gesterf en weer opgestaan het, gekom? Miskien nie, of miskien het jy, maar dit lyk alles so ver verwyderd van die dinge wat op hierdie oomblik aan die gang is.My vriend, vandag het ek goeie nuus vir jou. In Christus het God jou ontsettend lief. In Christus kan jy gered word. In Christus kan jy vir ewig by God wees, want Jesus leef. Hy is gereed om jou te help wanneer jy Hom vra.Doen dit vandag. Doen dit nou. Wend jou tot Jesus.Dis God se Woord. Vars ... vir jou ... vandag.Support the showEnjoying The Content?For the price of a cup of coffee each month, you can enable Christianityworks to reach 10,000+ people with a message about the love of Jesus!DONATE R50 MONTHLY

When Jesus cried, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46), He was not imagining separation from the Father. In today's episode of the MY Devotional Podcast, Dr. Michael Youssef points to the staggering reality of the cross: in that moment, the sin of humanity was laid upon the sinless Son of God, and Jesus endured the judgment every believer deserved. Dr. Youssef explains why Jesus addressed the Father differently in His anguish—seeing Him as Judge as our guilt was heaped upon Him. This is the center of the Gospel: every person will face God's judgment, but those who receive forgiveness are those who trust that Jesus took their judgment upon Himself. You'll be led to reflect on the breathtaking exchange Christ accomplished: He became sin though He never sinned, so we could be made righteous. He died in darkness so we could live in light. He was forsaken so we could be accepted. He was rejected so we could be received. This devotional is a call to pause, remember, and worship—because your salvation cost Christ everything. Prayer: Lord, thank You for bearing my sin on the cross. Thank You for Your sacrifice. May I live wholeheartedly for You in the freedom You have secured for me. I want to bring You honor and glory, giving all praise and credit to You for any good You work in my heart. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen. “. . . walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:2). Learn more in Dr. Michael A. Youssef's sermon Love Gives, Part 2: LISTEN NOW The voice you hear on the MY Devotional podcast is digitally generated with Dr. Youssef's permission. If today's devotional stirred a question, burden, or need for prayer, you don't have to walk through it alone.

Prepare for the Man-Child Birth (1) (audio) David Eells, 5/17/26 Let me begin with this Word to be ready for this manifestation of the Man-Child birth and the work to follow. A Quick Change Anonymous 6/21/23 (David's notes in red) “There will be a quick change coming soon and more of My Son will be manifesting through you and those who choose ALL of Me. I am increasing and quickly, be ready each moment. LET GO OF EVERYTHING that is NOT Me. Let go of ALL doubt and unbelief. Let go of all carnal and worldly thinking. Everything you think you know and what you know is changing into Me. You will begin to not recognize yourself, but you will see Me in you (and our other Brethren). Completely in unity in Me you will soon be, closer and closer each moment, becoming one together fully in Christ. Time is now. Stop thinking and looking to the future (planning the future) or past but focus on each moment you are in now. I Am now. Time is now. My Son focused on this moment. His Mind was and is on all of you. Let go of all the distractions that stop you from bathing in My presence. Let go of all those little sins you think are hidden; I see all, and I want all evil out of you. No evil is in My Son, as there will be no evil in His Bride, now and for eternity. Time is ticking and passing more quickly than you think; things will start proceeding more rapidly. In an instance, I will be; don't look back. Let go of all your carnal desires, senses, and interests in this world. Face Me only. Look to Me. Think of Me. Communion with Me every moment. I Am in you and for you and everything is from Me. Look to Me and you will keep my peace, my joy and my pleasure that is beyond anything in the natural. I am coming sooner, get ready now. Don't miss out on the things I have for you. Each minute and second, I have a gift for you, and when you aren't in Me, you miss out on what I wanted to give you. Don't look away or to the enemy. Only Me. I Am coming and am already here; look and see”. (I sense that this is going to be coming and happening quicker than we expect.)   Enter Ye in By the Narrow Gate B. A. - 07/25/2011 (David's notes in red) I had just finished my morning prayers and was getting out of bed when I received a word from the Holy Spirit: “If you think the body scanners and pat-downs at the airports are bad, wait until you see the searches I will be doing with My body!” I sat back down on the bed as this took me by surprise. After a few minutes, I got up, dressed, and went down by the lake to meditate on this word. As I was sitting there, I got a vision: I was inside a huge megachurch filled with people. It looked like a football stadium. (In a larger sense, the stadium is the body of Christ. In a smaller sense, it is UBM.) I saw a man dressed as a shepherd who was speaking from a podium to the people. (This is a type of the “one shepherd,” Jesus, ministering in the man-child to the “one flock.”) I couldn't figure out why I was there. I felt like an ant inside this place, as it was so big. I was pondering why I was there when suddenly I saw a bright light coming down from the high ceiling. I watched as the light came down and went through the crowd. (The light is the Word that “came down out of heaven” to give us rebirth in the image of Jesus.) Suddenly, it stopped and hovered over someone down toward the front. At this time, two ushers came and escorted that individual from the building. This happened several more times. I was surprised that no one else seemed to notice what was going on. (Many don't understand the opportunity we have to humble ourselves to the Word and be like Him and love Him.) This bright beam of light seemed to be working its way from the front of the building toward the back, to where I was seated. (The geometric progression of the Word being passed on from person to person.) Then, just like the others, this beam of light came down and hovered over me and the two ushers came and escorted me out of the building. (This represents being born of the mother, as the bride was in Song of Solomon.) As I got outside, I saw the others who had gone out before me. They were all standing together in a group and were hugging each other. As I drew near to them, they came up and started hugging me and shouting, “We've been chosen! We've been chosen!” That was the end of the vision. (Mat.22:14) For many are called, but few chosen. (The Bride is being chosen before the tribulation because that is the seven-day Marriage Feast when the groom feasts with the bride over the bread/word and wine/nature of Jesus Christ.) Just as I was getting up to go back into the house, I received another word from the Holy Spirit: “Strive to enter in by the narrow gate.” (Luk.13:24) Strive to enter in by the narrow door: for many, I say unto you, shall seek to enter in, and shall not be able. (Mat.7:13) Enter ye in by the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many are they that enter in thereby. (14) For narrow is the gate, and straitened the way, that leadeth unto life, and few are they that find it. I believe the Lord was giving me a warning. I believe the Lord is taking what is going on in the natural to prepare His body for the spiritual. Those body scanners and pat-downs at the airport are very revealing and humbling. I believe the Lord is warning us that that's nothing compared to the BODY (God's people) search He is going to do to His people. (Anything illegal, according to the Word, will not pass. Unforgiveness, lust, pride, rebellion, etc. won't fly.) I believe this message is for the first-fruits (Man-child and Bride). The Lord gave me more word this morning. The Lord told me He was searching HIS people and that He has been giving them a series of pop quizzes leading up to the final test for the first-fruits. If we can't pass the series of quizzes, we have no chance of passing the BIG TEST! These quizzes are to test the body to see where they stand spiritually. How will we as the body be able to function when situations get much tougher, as world events become more extreme? We are being sifted! (If one cannot prove to live in the love and nature of Jesus in the small tests, they could never conquer the big tests that are coming.) Also, I believe the Lord is telling the body to “GET REAL” with their hearts. Anyone holding on to any unforgiveness or unconfessed or hidden sin will not make the cut. Love each other from the heart, brothers and sisters. It is a HUGE blessing to be in the first-fruits. We are not to be concerned about our specific place within the body; it's the Lord's decision and His alone to place each and every one of us in the position He has chosen for us. We do not appoint ourselves to positions as many do.   Birthing the Man-child and Under Attack Warren Edwards - 09/21/2009 (David's notes in red) In a dream, I was with a woman who was about to give birth. We were alone in a birthing room. There was great commotion outside. When the woman was just about ready to give birth, two people who were outside the room burst in and said we were about to be overcome and that we would have to leave. (The beast threat against the church will be great at the time God births His Man-child in them and to lead them.) We were in another room just like the first room; the only difference was that now the woman who was to give birth looked more pregnant than before, and I was aware that the two men who were outside were there to protect us from the people trying to attack us. Just as the woman was ready again, they burst into the room and said again that we were about to be overcome and had to move, so we moved again. (The church will be running from the devil, instead of after the devil, before this leadership arrives.) We were in the same type of room again, with the same commotion outside. The woman was larger with child than ever and looked as though she would burst because she was so big. I became aware that I was not protecting the woman but was to protect the child she carried. The men burst into the room again and said again that we were about to be overcome and we had to move. They had weapons in their hands; one carried a fence post (which is for separating us from beasts-- symbolizing sanctification from the flesh) and the other a piece of steel tube (which is a vessel for the water of the Word to flow through). Sanctification is necessary for us to be a channel for the spoken Word, which is our sword of the Spirit. Some only know the word through the colored glasses their preachers give them. Know and experience the word through the Holy Spirit.) I noticed the weapons bore no marks of use, and I became angry. I asked the men why they had not used their weapons against the enemy. They argued the enemy was too strong and insisted that we leave before we were overcome. (Unsanctification, doubt and the lack of the knowledge of authority makes God's people cower before the enemy.) Very angry, I lifted my hands and spoke; the enemy was immediately quieted and fell. The men who were protecting the woman fell silent and had an expression of fear on their faces. They just moved out of the way; they were not hurt. The woman gave birth. The child and I were taken away in the spirit. End of dream. This is the story of the dragon beast in Rev,12, awaiting the birth of the Man-child, in order to devour it before it is caught up to the throne of authority. Care has been given to some to birth this Man-child, who are also to be members of it. (Rev.12:1) And a great sign was seen in heaven: a woman arrayed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars; 2 and she was with child; and she crieth out, travailing in birth, and in pain to be delivered. 3 And there was seen another sign in heaven: and behold, a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his heads seven diadems. 4 And his tail draweth the third part of the stars of heaven (This falling away of the stars God said were Abraham's seed is the danger.), and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon standeth before the woman that is about to be delivered, that when she is delivered he may devour her child (And this is the other threat spoken of.). 5 And she was delivered of a son, a man child, who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and unto his throne. 6 And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that there they may nourish her a thousand two hundred and threescore days. I, David, had a dream or vision, many years ago, about birthing the Man-child from a dying religious system. My notes are in red: I was standing on top of a mountain (representing the kingdom of God) and looking down the mountainside. I saw a construction crew coming up the mountainside, putting up the big metal power poles for high voltage power lines. (Bringing the latter rain power of God to come as Christ in us.) Then I looked down beside me on the ground and noticed a very old, emaciated cow lying there. It looked as though it was about to die. Next to it was a very large baby boy that I knew had been born from that cow. Next, I saw a front-end loader come and scoop up the cow and carry it away. (Moving the old, dead system out of the way of the power coming through the Man-child as it was in Jesus' day.) I picked up the baby and walked over and got on an escalator. (Resting and being caught up to the throne of God's authority to use power.) As we were going up, I noticed a woman next to me with a normal-sized baby. Looking at my baby, she said, “That looks like a real baby boy”. Watching the front-end loader carry away the cow, I said, “Yeah, I wonder how that's possible”. Then the scene changed and I was walking into a ministers' conference. All the famous religious leaders were there. A famous minister whom we all know walked over and handed me some papers. (The Lord showed me that he represented a generation of Saul ministers who were ceding their authority to the Man-child.) Then the Lord said to me, “This is his propaganda about what he has accomplished”. Judy Miller also had a dream on 12/10/08, which we called Christian Snipers, where I was under attack while trying to deliver the Man-child. Here is the shortened version: I have never, to the best of my recollection, dreamed about someone I never met. But I can't seem to get it off my mind. Since this dream was about David, I thought it might be something he would understand. He and I and a woman who could have been his wife, but I never saw her, were in a big, empty room like a cafeteria. (The cafeteria is where food is served, so I believe this has something to do with our teachings that we feed the saints.) There was only one table, which was standing on its end in this empty room. It was one of those really heavy tables that takes two people to move. David and the woman were on the underside of this table and he was delivering a baby from her. (Delivering the baby “under the table” symbolizes being out of public view. Some people pay no attention to the fact that some Davids work very hard at delivering the individual and corporate fruit of Christ from the woman church behind the scenes.) I was on the topside digging a bullet out of David's back. (The top side of the table represents being in public. David was shot from the direction of the public and Judy removed the slug in public. Sniping at Davids in public is the work of those who have critical, factious spirits and do not care what they do day and night to serve the saints. Those who have wisdom of the Word should publicly but gracefully correct slander, backbiting, gossip and criticism, as Judy was symbolically doing here. (Psa.11:2) For, lo, the wicked bend the bow, They make ready their arrow upon the string, That they may shoot in darkness at the upright in heart.)  How I was doing this through the table, I don't know. But the strange thing was this: He never seemed to notice he had a bullet in his back; he didn't acknowledge any pain while I was digging it out. He actually never said anything during this whole thing, but seemed to be concentrating on delivering this baby. (The most important thing is delivering the baby. I get bullets in the back without me knowing it all the time because some don't speak to your face “alone”, as Jesus demands in Mat.18:15, but go to the public, which is reserved for the third step in verse 17 and only when there is sin. Some who are overcome by critical, factious spirits and selfish ambition receive accusations against elders [1Ti.5:19] in their minds or from others for the purpose of separating brethren unto themselves.) I finally managed to get the bullet out of his back, and I held it up to the light and it glittered on the brass when the light hit it, and I just smiled; that was the end of the dream. (The glitter on the slug speaks of putting on a public display to impress men, since that is the way glitter is used. Public persecution has come against our ministry and, sadly, sometimes it is from within, as it was with Jesus. Some like to magnify themselves at others' expense.)   Jesus Is Again Coming in Humility June Johnson - 07/29/2008 (David's notes in red) In a very vivid dream, I saw a donkey in the middle of a road with a baby on its back. It is Jesus birthed in the end-time corporate Man-child, whose beastly flesh is in servitude and humility by God's grace. (Mat.21:5) Tell ye the daughter of Zion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, Meek, and riding upon an ass, And upon a colt the foal of an ass. Jesus is coming as the latter rain on this morning of the third thousand-year day. (Hos.6:2) After two days (2000 years) will he revive us: on the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live before him. (3) And let us know, let us follow on to know Jehovah: his going forth is sure as the morning (of the third thousand year day,); and he will come unto us as the rain, as the latter rain that watereth the earth. He will anoint the first-fruits man-child with the latter rain first, as it was with Jesus in the former rain. The Jews expected Him to come as a reigning king over their enemies, as the Christians do today. But the enemy wasn't the Romans but the devil, sin, and the flesh. “The things that have been are the things that will be”. Instead, He will come once again in the form of humble servants before coming personally. I then heard a car coming and thought to myself that I had to get the baby out of the road before the car came closer. The dragon will seek to destroy the corporate Man-child, as with Jesus, Moses, Joseph, David, etc, but he will be anointed with authority to rule from the throne, as they were. (Rev.12:4) And his tail draweth the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon standeth before the woman that is about to be delivered, that when she is delivered he may devour her child. (5) And she was delivered of a son, a man child, who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and unto his throne. (6) And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that there they may nourish her a thousand two hundred and threescore days. The donkey then knelt down and I grabbed the baby and ran. End of dream. Jesus will come wherever the beastly flesh is in submission. Others will partake of the Spirit of Christ in them. The fruit of Christ will be served to God's people through a humble, fleshly body.   Jesus Is Coming in His People Jan from Alaska - 02/04/2009 (David's notes in red) I got several confirmations during the day that this was from the Lord, and I don't want to miss any message in it. I'm standing just outside an open doorway that leads into a bedroom in the heart of the house. I'm told or asked by someone high above me (literally high over my head in the Spirit) to go to this woman to midwife her having a baby and the baby is Jesus. I walk into the room, and it's flooded with bright light, with a great light on her. She is ruddy in complexion, and I can see only her body from the base of her neck down. She's young --15-18, small, naked, alone in the room, and up on her elbows pushing in agony with the birth. She's in the end stage of delivery as the baby has already dropped into the birth canal, and she barely looks pregnant. I go over and put my hand on her stomach to comfort her and not so much to guide the baby, as to feel the baby. I have great compassion for her pain. Then I walk to the end of the bed, and I see the baby's head has already burst through the canal and the top of His head, which is snow white, is exposed (the revelation of Christ as head.) (Song of Solomon 5:8-10 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell him, that I am sick of love. What is thy beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? what is thy beloved more than another beloved, that thou dost so charge us? My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand). I'm excited with happiness, but I stay focused, talk comfort to her, and watch as the baby is born into my arms (and He is very ruddy). (The man-child David was said to be ruddy.) I hold the baby to my chest and run down a narrow hallway toward the front (future? outer court?) of the house, where I know a lot of people are waiting to hear He's been born. I'm crying and laughing because I'm so happy I got to witness this, that Jesus has come! (With the latter rain anointing for the whole man-child reformer body.) Baby Jesus, who is very red and physically very strong (Rev.12:10) Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ), leans over and takes my left index finger into His mouth and bites down and I realize He has a full set of very white adult teeth (Gen.49:9) Judah is a lion's cub; (12) His (Judah's) eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.). “Left hand” means “hiding place”; “place of covering”. “Index finger”, or “forefinger,” means “the finger of God”; i.e., “power of God”. I awoke crying and praising God, overcome with joy of it all. This dream may be a confirmation or continuation of a dream I had two weeks ago in which I was looking at the Word and in red letters I read: Tell of your Master and of His coming... (Gen.49:1) And Jacob called unto his sons, and said: gather yourselves together, that I may tell you that which shall befall you in the latter days. ... (8) Judah, thee shall thy brethren praise: Thy hand shall be on the neck of thine enemies; Thy father's sons shall bow down before thee. (9) Judah is a lion's whelp; From the prey, my son, thou art gone up: He stooped down, he couched as a lion, And as a lioness; who shall rouse him up? (10)(This verse was given by faith at random to us when we asked what spiritual tribe are we from?) The scepter shall not depart from Judah, Nor the ruler's staff from between his feet, Until Shiloh come: (Hebrew: peace giver. From Assyrian: prince, ruler) And unto him shall the obedience of the peoples be. (11) Binding his foal unto the vine, And his ass's colt unto the choice vine; He hath washed his garments in wine, And his vesture in the blood of grapes: (12) His eyes shall be red with wine, And his teeth white with milk. A word I received at this same time: (Isa.33:10) Now will I arise, saith Jehovah; now will I lift up myself; now will I be exalted. Jesus came as a baby with the former rain ministry and passed this on to the Woman Church, who were called “Christians” because Jesus lived in them. Now history must repeat, as Ecc.1:9 says: “That which hath been is that which shall be”. Jesus said He would return again as a Man-child born to the woman Church. (Joh.16:19) Jesus perceived that they were desirous to ask him, and he said unto them, Do ye inquire among yourselves concerning this, that I said, A little while, and ye behold me not, and again a little while, and ye shall see me? (20) Verily, verily, I say unto you, that ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. (21) A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but when she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for the joy that a man is born into the world. (22) And ye therefore now have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no one taketh away from you. (He will come manifested in His corporate end-time Man-child reformer body.) (Rev.12:5) And she was delivered of a son, a man-child, who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and unto his throne. (6) And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that there they may nourish her a thousand two hundred and threescore days. (He will come through the Latter Rain anointing after two thousand-year days on the morning of the third thousand.) (Hos.6:2) After two days will he revive us: on the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live before him. (3) And let us know, let us follow on to know Jehovah: his going forth is sure as the morning; and he will come unto us as the rain, as the latter rain that watereth the earth. Then this anointing will be spread throughout the elect Church, as history repeats. And then He will come in the clouds of His heavenly people.   The David Ministry Is Born Eve Brast - 11/11/2013 (David's notes in red) I dreamed that my husband and I had a fourth son. (In real life, we have three sons: Noah, 16; Elijah, 11; Josiah, 8.) I had just given birth to this fourth son. I was wondering where my husband was in the dream because he was not present for the birth. My older two sons were nearby, but it was my son Josiah who was present for the birth. He was standing at my right hand and admiring the new baby boy with me. (I have learned that the birth of the Man-child is different from the birth of the Man-child ministry. In Jesus' life, there were 30 years between these two. It was that way with Joseph, David and Moses, as types of the Man-child. They all had a pre-anointing life and service to God. But when the anointing came, the real ministry began.) I had wrapped him in a white blanket and was holding his head with his right cheek against my heart. I was talking to Josiah and exclaiming, “He looks just like Elijah when Elijah was born, only he has richer, thicker hair!” (My son Elijah was born in November, the 11th month of the year (And he is at the time of this dream 11 years old), and Father gave me this dream on 11/11/13.) (11 has been a number of manifest judgment on the wicked but also deliverance and blessing for the righteous. This is what comes with the Man-child ministry of the white horse rider.) I started quoting Bible scriptures to this new baby, as he rested on my heart. I didn't know where these verses were located in the Word, but every verse I quoted to him, he would quote them right back to me in a soft, quiet, gentleman's voice! And then he would add where that verse was located in the Word. I discovered that most of the verses I was quoting to him were in the book of James! (What we see here is the Man-child ministry being birthed into the world. Though they are small in size and number, they will manifest the supernatural knowledge and nature of the Word made flesh.) Josiah and I were looking and smiling at the new baby, and I was saying, “Isn't he so precious? He is so sweet! We are going to name him David. I've always loved that name”. Then I woke up. (The anointed David ministers are now coming onto the scene.) I asked Father for scriptures for this dream and received: (Ecc.7:1) A good name is better than precious oil; and the day of death, than the day of one's birth. (This ministry will have gone through birth, death and resurrection to the latter rain anointing to manifest the name of Jesus.) (Luk.24:50) And he led them out until they were over against Bethany: and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them. (He led them to the House of Bread and blessed them.) (Mat.11:27) All things have been delivered unto me of my Father: and no one knoweth the Son, save the Father; neither doth any know the Father, save the Son, and he to whomsoever the Son willeth to reveal him. My finger landed on the words “to reveal him”. (The manifest sons will be revealed by the Lord, and they will reveal the Lord.) Then I asked for a word concerning me in this dream, and my finger landed on (Mat.1:21) And she shall bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name JESUS; for it is he that shall save his people from their sins. My finger was on the words, “And she shall bring forth a son”. Amazing! (Word received by random by faith in God.)   “The Armies of God March Soon” Eve Brast - 10/08/2011 (David's notes in red) The Father gave me a dream on 9/22/11, two days after the vision He gave me of the birth of Isaac in Abraham's tent dream. (This was the birth of the Man-child, who, as David, will lead the Lord's earthly army into battle against the spiritual Philistines and their demon gods. I share this dream below.) Eve said, I'm sending it now because last night I was lamenting to the Father how pronounced the separation is becoming between myself and friends and loved ones who love the world more than the truth of the Word and discipleship. It seems to have become extremely pronounced recently. I was asking the Father to speak to me concerning this, and when I opened my Bible my finger was on: (Psa.18:29) For by thee I run upon a troop: And by my God do I leap over a wall. (The Lord's power and anointing will enable us to leap over walls of separation and battle for souls in bondage, but we must have our armor and be led by our General.) I went on to read the entire text of Psalm 18, which answered my questions perfectly and gave me comfort. I knew instantly after reading this that it was time to send this dream. Dream - 09/22/2011 I saw myself standing in the driveway in front of my grandmother's old house (Eve, as a type of the bride of the last Adam, is a part of the house of the ancient Church and Word before the falling away. Contending for the faith that was once delivered to the saints.) that house I grew up in on Lago Vista Street (meaning “Lake View”). I was facing west, looking across the pond. The sun was disappearing over the horizon. There was just enough light left to make out the scene. (A time of darkness coming on the world, but the waters of the Word are always before the Bride's face.) I was dressed in silver-polished armor with gold trim (armor that reflects the Sun or Son and blinds the enemy). My hair had turned blonde. (Hair represents submission to our husband. Blond hair represents submission to the Sun [Son] -- 1 Corinthians 11) The wind started to gust (false winds of doctrines) out of the north (the beast), blowing the dead leaves that had fallen from the trees and what seemed like dead grass clippings over me. (Coming in contact with those who are falling away to their flesh, for Peter said, “All flesh is as grass”.) I heard a voice from the south (God's army) say, “The armies of God march soon! “ I became concerned and started to panic because my armor had some missing pieces, like pieces of a puzzle. There was no time left to go back into my grandmother's house (representing the ancient original church), where the rest of the pieces were located, and find them. (The armor can only be found in the original Church of the Word.) At that moment, I cried out to the Father, “Help me, Father! I don't know what to do! “ I knew that if I went back inside, I would miss the deployment of troops, and that if I went into battle like I was (missing some armor) I could be wounded. (Effectual fervent prayer to the Father can finish up the armor. Many are taken out even now because they had no armor.) Suddenly, the missing pieces started appearing from above me and attaching themselves in their proper places on my armor suit, completing it for the march and the battle. (All need to pray to complete the armor so they are not taken out in the coming darkness and association with the dead around us. (Eph.6:12) For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual [hosts] of wickedness in the heavenly [places]. (13) Wherefore take up the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and, having done all, to stand. (14) Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, (15) and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; (16) withal taking up the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil [one]. (17) And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: (18) with all prayer and supplication praying at all seasons in the Spirit, and watching thereunto in all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.) When I asked the Father for scripture for this dream back on September 22nd, I opened my Bible and my finger was on: (2Ch.33:14) Now after this he built an outer wall to the City of David, on the West side of Gihon, in the valley, even to the entrance of the Fish gate; and he compassed Ophel with it, and raised it up to a very great height: and he put captains in all the fortified cities. This was after King Manasseh in verse 13 had repented to God, and God brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom. (And he was preparing for war, coming against the city of David by putting on its armor.) I asked for another scripture to expand the meaning of this dream to me and when I opened my eyes, my finger was on: (Joh.8:56) Your Father Abraham rejoiced to see my day: and he saw it, and was glad. (Abraham fought for the people taken captive by the kings of Canaan's land, the beast.) This amazed me because it connected the previous vision the Father gave me two nights before with this current dream! God is so awesome and faithful to show us what He is doing! Dream - 10/08/11 I was flying through space inside our inner solar system toward the sun, and as I was coming up, I saw Mercury, Venus, and Earth. Mercury and Earth were in alignment and Venus was extremely close to coming into perfect alignment with them. (Eve didn't know this, but these planets were in perfect alignment, or very close to perfect alignment, from October 31 until November 15.) I was brought in closer, and all my attention was placed on Venus. As I was waking up, I heard a voice say, “And He shall be given a rod and a staff with which to rule over the sons of men”. (Could this be hinting at the anointing? We'll see. The rod represents chastening and the staff restraint and guidance. The alignments of Earth, Mercury and Venus can actually be seen as a type of a rod. The rod and the staff are the instruments of the Shepherd Who is coming in His Man-child to be the General for His troops. (Rev.22:16) I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things for the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David, the bright, the morning star [Venus]. Jesus is the root that brought forth the branch of David and He is in the Branch -- Jeremiah 23 & 33.) The scriptures that were given to me for this dream were (Eze.40:6) Then came he unto the gate which looketh toward the East, and went up the steps thereof: and he measured the threshold of the gate, one reed broad: and the other threshold one reed broad. (Jesus is coming through the Eastern Gate into the temple of His people. He is measuring the Way through which He comes and many will not measure up. (Joh.14:6) Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, and the truth, and the life: no one cometh unto the Father, but by me.) (Jer.30:17) For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds saith Jehovah, because they have called thee an outcast, saying, It is Zion whom no man seeketh after. (Then Zion, the bride, will be sought out and restored.) With love for all my brethren. Be encouraged and strengthened in the Lord.   Promised Seed Brings in Multitudes Eve Brast - 09/20/2011 (David's notes in red) On 9/20/11, before going to bed, I was out on my porch facing the east toward a fantastic lightning show that was occurring in the storm clouds. It was completely silent with no thunder at all, which is unusual. In my imagination, I saw the angel, Michael, and his angels fighting against Satan and his forces of darkness in the heavens, and Satan being cast down to the Earth. I felt in my spirit to pray against the forces of darkness that are coming against the saints of God. (Rev.12:10) And I heard a great voice in heaven, saying, Now is come the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, who accuseth them before our God day and night. (11) And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb, and because of the word of their testimony; and they loved not their life even unto death. This casting down of Satan will be for the purpose of persecuting the woman church and driving her into the safety of the wilderness for 3 1/2 years, as in Revelation 12:13-14, to be trained by the Man-child in verses 5-6. After this, I went to lie down, but before I could fall asleep, the Father gave me a vision. I (Eve, the bride of Adam/Jesus) was standing on the corner of an angled portion of the roof of Herod's temple, which was over some pillars and steps. In the vision, this is where Satan had taken Jesus during His time of testing. (The Bride is being tested by Satan to see who will overcome by faith in the blood, the words of their testimony and sacrificing their life.) I was looking down and observing a scene. At my left, crouching down and observing the scene was Satan. He was dressed in a solid black hooded robe, and all I could see were his gray and bony hands with sharp, pointed nails. My attention returned to the scene below. (Satan hides in the darkness of wicked men, the seven-headed, 10-horned dragon body of lost humanity, so that men do not perceive this to be a trial from him. Men are tempted to wrestle with flesh and blood in this way.) Abraham had pitched his tent on the cobblestones in front of the steps of the temple and was pacing outside the tent like an expectant father. (Abraham means “father of a multitude”. He is the father of the faithful and represents our Father in Heaven.) I was able to see right through the top of the tent, and I could see Sarah, who was old and gray-headed, giving birth to Isaac with the assistance of three handmaids. She gave birth to him with great ease. (Our Father sowed the seed of the Word in Sarah, meaning “princess”, who represents the Bride who has not brought forth the seed of man. As with Sarah, the Bride is in the midst of the Church, who is now in old age. She is bringing forth the promised Man-child seed of Father Abraham, through whom he will be the “father of a multitude” from all nations.) Then I saw Abraham hurry into the tent as soon as Isaac was delivered, and he held the baby up to the heavens toward the Father in praise and dedication. (The gift from God through whom He will begin the latter rain revival to bring in the multitudes.) As soon as Isaac was born, Satan, still crouched on my left, started to pound his right fist down upon his left palm and scream twice, “We've lost them! We've lost them!” (As sure as this child will be born, Satan will lose the multitudes who were captive to him. YOU LOST THEM 2000 YEARS AGO, SATAN!!! LOL!!!) This is when the vision ended, and I became aware that I was in my bed trying to go to sleep. I looked this up in (Heb.11:11) By faith even Sarah herself received power to conceive seed when she was past age, since she counted Him faithful who had promised ... (18) even he to whom it was said, In Isaac shall thy seed be called. (In Isaac was and is in type the seed of all future generations. He begat the one whose seed was the 12 patriarchs, just as Jesus did and just as the Man-child will spiritually.) When I asked the Father for some verses, my finger was on (Pro.18:20) A man's belly shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; with the increase of his lips shall he be satisfied. (The spoken word will bring forth the multitudes, like the commands through Moses to Pharaoh) Also (Isa.66:19) And I will set a sign among them and I will send such as escape of them unto the nations, to Tarshish, Pul, and Lud, that draw the bow to Tubal and Javan, to the isles afar off, that have not heard my fame neither have seen my glory: and they shall declare my glory among the nations. (The “sign” here is the Man-child Emanuel, meaning “God with us” prophesied in Isaiah 7:14 and Luke 2:10-12,34. He will send those who escape the beast to the nations to declare the fame of the Lord.) Praise the Lord that Satan has already been defeated! Be encouraged, brethren.   Birthing of the Man-child and Bride's Fruit and the Beginning of Great Judgment Eve Brast - 11/18/21 (David's notes in red) I dreamed that I was in an old military-style fort with UBM. The entire perimeter or outer wall doubled as living quarters and storage rooms. The interior courtyard area was open. We were gathering supplies in preparation for an imminent, massive judgment from God in the form of a thick blanket of darkness that was heading towards the fort.) (At this time we know of one possibility of an imminent judgment, in that the DS has prepared more deadly plagues to unleash upon the global population. This judgment could also represent the beginning of the 7-year tribulation when the Man-child is born.) The judgment was fast approaching, coming from my right in the form of an oppressive darkness that was blanketing the earth. I knew that many people would die from this judgment in the dream. (The vaccine deaths multiplied quickly. We know the DS has another ‘Plandemic' worse than COVID's vax. As this was coming upon the world, I was simultaneously standing on a large wooden deck where I was in active labor to give birth to twins, a boy and a girl, even though I did not outwardly look pregnant. I had a vision of them coming through the birth canal side by side, the boy on the right and the girl at his left. They were being born in an upright position, or what they call breech, which is “feet first.” (This represents the fruit of Christ in the Man-child and the Bride coming to maturity and being born ready to walk in the steps of Jesus through the 7-year Tribulation period that is quickly approaching.) While I was laboring to bring them forth, I would squat down and try with all my might to push them out, but because they were being born at the same time, I could not birth them in my own strength, and I was becoming tired. Then the knowledge of the Holy Spirit came to me to “just stand and relax.” When I did this, they were born smoothly and with ease on their own. Then I woke up. (Through faith and rest of God, the Bride will bear her own fruit and that of the Man-child.) Missy got this text by faith at random for the morning prayer meeting on 11/18/21 and she thought it went with this dream, 2Ch.6:4-11, And he said, Blessed be Jehovah, the God of Israel, who spake with his mouth unto David my father, and hath with his hands fulfilled it, saying, 5 Since the day that I brought forth my people out of the land of Egypt, I chose no city out of all the tribes of Israel to build a house in, that my name might be there; neither chose I any man to be prince over my people Israel: 6 but I have chosen Jerusalem, that my name might be there; and have chosen David to be over my people Israel. 7 Now it was in the heart of David my father to build a house for the name of Jehovah, the God of Israel. 8 But Jehovah said unto David my father, Whereas it was in thy heart to build a house for my name, thou didst well that it was in thy heart: 9 nevertheless thou shalt not build the house; but thy son that shall come forth out of thy loins, he shall build the house for my name. 10 And Jehovah hath performed his word that he spake; for I am risen up in the room of David my father, and sit on the throne of Israel, as Jehovah promised, and have built the house for the name of Jehovah, the God of Israel. 11 And there have I set the ark, wherein is the covenant of Jehovah, which he made with the children of Israel. (This parable represents the two stages of the Man-child ministry: David, a warrior, and Solomon, meaning peaceful. The son of David, Solomon, [peaceful], which the Man-child Jesus, the prince of peace, was also called. This fruit of David, representing Christ in him, will build the house and not his old man. David was a man of war, but his fruit, Solomon, was the prince of peace to build the temple. David provided the materials for the Temple and his son, or fruit built it.)   She was Delivered of a Son; a Man-child Alenna Timoshchuk - 12/2/21 (David's notes in red) I dreamed I was at my sister Lidiya's house and I took a shower in her bathroom. After I finished showering, I lay down on her bed to take a nap. (I've recently repented of some idols the Lord showed me were still in my life, and I believe the shower represents the washing away of my sins and this repentance and cleansing that I had just gone through in the Lord, and now that I am made pure by Him, I have entered into His rest.) In the dream, as I closed my eyes, I immediately started seeing a vision in animated form. I saw a large old-fashioned church building made of gray stone. (The old-fashioned church represents the original church, and the stone represents Jesus, Who is the Rock and foundation of the Church.) Then it was as if I was standing in the back of the church and could see everything happening inside. I saw rows of pews with people in them; they were all facing the front, where you'd normally see the preacher behind a pulpit. (I believe these people are the ones eagerly waiting for the Man-child, and they have their eyes forward, focused on Jesus Christ.) (The Nicolaitans put one man over the sheep of the congregation who lords his position over them, but Jesus did not intend it to be so for His disciples. The Man-child will restore the original 5-fold ministries of leadership and accountability in the Church government. Mat.20:25-28 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 Not so shall it be among you: but whosoever would become great among you shall be your minister; 27 and whosoever would be first among you shall be your servant: 28 even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.) Instead of a preacher, a woman was standing there. She was dressed in beautiful garments in various hues of blue. The way she was dressed reminded me of the pictures I'd see of Mary with the baby Jesus. (This represents the woman of Revelation 12 who gives birth to the corporate body of the Man-child just as Mary gave birth to Jesus in His individual body 2,000 years ago. Mary was the bride of the Lord to bring forth the Man-child, Jesus, by the seed of the Holy Spirit.) She lay down on a table that was behind her, and I saw that she was pregnant, and I could see the shadow of a baby inside her belly. She started pushing and gave birth to a baby boy. When the baby came out, everyone in the church jumped up and started rejoicing and hugging each other. The Man-child will be born out of the Bride body.) The woman was looking at everyone with a huge smile on her face. That was when I noticed a gold crown on her head and a long blue veil covering her blonde hair. (I believe the woman looked like pictures I saw of Mary because she is the parallel of the one who births Jesus Christ in our day and the woman from whom the Man-child will come. She was clothed in beautiful hues of blue, representing heavenly colors, and her veil is her submission to Christ. The crown is the glory she will have in heaven because she represents the Bride.) (Joh.16:19-22) Jesus perceived that they were desirous to ask him, and he said unto them, Do ye inquire among yourselves concerning this, that I said, A little while, and ye behold me not, and again a little while, and ye shall see me? 20 Verily, verily, I say unto you, that ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. 21 A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but when she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for the joy that a man is born into the world. (Represented by the “huge smile” she had on her face.) 22 And ye therefore now have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no one taketh away from you. The corporate Man-child reformer David ministry in whom Jesus lives by Word and Spirit is about to be born. In the night that Cyrus, as Trump, conquered Babylon, Daniel, as a type of the Man-child, was promoted as a ruler of the Kingdom. We are close to the Man-child's anointing to rule.) After their moment of rejoicing, everyone went to the front of the church and exited out a side door. (I believe there will be great rejoicing for those waiting for the Man-child, and they all walked out of the church when he was born because they are going to spread the true gospel.) (These are the modern-day disciples of Christ who are going forth as the first disciples did.) The church was now empty, and I saw a man appear in front of the church, where he sat down on the steps of the stage. He wore clothes that resembled royalty; the colors of red and white, with a gold crown on his head. He had light brown hair, and his expression looked sorrowful. (I believe the man represented Jesus in the Man-child. The red and white symbolize the blood sacrifice and purity of Jesus, and the gold crown is also the glory he has been given by the Father in heaven for his obedience and sacrifice. I believe his expression was sorrowful because he feels his Father's sorrow over the people that have fallen away.) Then I heard a voice fill the whole room, and I knew it was the Father speaking to him. I can't remember the exact words our Father was saying, but I remember the idea of it, so I will just put it in my own words. He told the man that His people have been on the fence for too long, worshipping Him and mammon. The time has come for them to make a choice, for very soon they will be judged and many, many deaths are going to start occurring. (In the natural many will die because of the graphene oxide and spike protein, which is sprayed and/or in vaccinated people. Spiritually, there will also be a falling away. See our book Escape the Falling Away. These are the rebellious and lukewarm that the Lord will spew out of His mouth. Rev.3:16 So because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.) He told him to go out and warn his people because the time has drawn very near. (I believe Father is showing me here that the Man-child is coming very, very soon, but for those who are not living in the Spirit, but after the flesh, a very difficult time is also very near. We need to intercede for them in prayer and warn them to repent and draw nigh unto the Lord. We also must give up our idols and worship our one true God.) The man jumped up with a determined expression on his face and went out the side door to do as the Father had told him. Then the vision ended in the dream, and I opened my eyes. (When the Man-child is anointed and sent forth by the Father, He will have power to complete all that He is sent to do.) ...I stepped outside onto the back porch to clear my mind so that I could write down the vision. My brother Leo came out and started the grill because he was going to grill some meat… (Leo represents the Lion of Judah, Jesus, who is solely focused on crucifying our flesh in the fiery trial.) Then something started happening in the sky. I saw clouds forming in lines very quickly, and it looked like the lines were being sprayed into the sky. The way they formed was very interesting. It started as a line that would turn into a 45-degree angle, ultimately forming a triangle. (This likely represents the 'all-seeing eye' within the triangular-shaped pyramid representing the Illuminati at the head of the DS. They are Luciferians and eugenicists, and they are de-populating the global population through their chemtrail spraying programs and vaccines.) As soon as the triangle was formed, the cloud would turn black and another would form connecting to the point of the other triangle and it was making lines across the sky that just looked like a bunch of black triangles. (It could be that these large black triangular crafts are TR3B antigravity, noiseless, extremely fast, U.S. aircraft black ops spraying plagues, vax, mapping, spying, etc.) It was very fast. I stepped off the porch and lay down in the grass to try to see what was happening more clearly. (Lying on top of the grass represents conquering the flesh of our old nature. The Bible says, “All flesh is as grass…” This allows us to have spiritual discernment and to see things more clearly.) I asked my brother, “Could these possibly be natural?” (The triangle with the all-seeing eye represents the leadership of the DS and is forming lines across the sky, which we call chemtrails that can spray plagues, vax, etc.) I never heard his reply because as soon as I asked that question, a robot jumped onto my face and started attacking me. I was wrestling with him and managed to push him off, and I jumped up. (Representing their chemtrail spraying, the nano-bot technology that has been discovered in the vaccines attacking the people by deoxygenating their blood, thereby making it feel like it's hard to breathe.) At first, I thought it was some kind of futuristic delivery robot. It had black, white and blue colors. The robot started coming at me again when I saw many more robots falling out of the sky into the backyard, and they were all chasing me. (This nanotechnology is capable of being aerosolized and sprayed upon large groups of people at one time.)(We are not under this curse, which Jesus bore, Gal.3:13  Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us; for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree. We are under Psalm 91 where we are taught how to escape this. Psa.91:2-3 I will say of Jehovah, He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in whom I trust. 3 For he will deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, And from the deadly pestilence… 9 For thou, O Jehovah, art my refuge! Thou hast made the Most High thy habitation; 10 There shall no evil befall thee, Neither shall any plague come nigh thy tent.) I looked back at my brother, wanting to ask for his help, but he was just focused on grilling the meat. (In the midst of tribulations, we must focus on the sacrifice of our flesh in the fiery trial.) I started running around the backyard trying to climb on trees and fences, but they would follow me wherever I went. (Because they are in the air.) It seemed as if they were angry at me for being on the grass. (With the flesh under our feet, the demons are threatened and will attack us by every means and distraction they can muster.) Finally, I ran back onto the porch (where Leo was sacrificing the flesh.) and all of the robots disappeared. (We must stay on the porch with Leo, the Lion of Judah. There is safety from our enemies when we abide in Christ and the crucified life.) Then the scene changed again, and I saw a couple sitting in a pool filled with water. The woman was very heavily pregnant, and I could tell that she was due to give birth soon. There was a midwife on the side of the pool, instructing her so that she could give birth without tearing. Then I woke up. (Staying in the water of the Word makes giving birth to the fruit of Christ possible and easier.)   UBM Born Again M. L. - 07/01/2013 (David's notes in red) I dreamt of a bombed building. I do not know what building or where it was. And I only saw a few yards ahead of me. (UBM was attacked by spiritual terrorists to separate the unclean from us, as has been prophesied for years. But also, this process has been going on around the world, as has been reported to us.) The enemy had moved on, and there was a total absence of fear. UBM had come together to rebuild. Our focus was that we had a job to do: cleaning away debris and rebuilding this place. (Cleaning away the old unregenerate of UBM and bringing forth the new, like the lunar eclipse of Michael Campbell's dream, where there was an eclipse and the first sliver of the new moon was much brighter than the whole moon had been before the eclipse.) Sometimes I only saw feet and legs and sometimes up to the shoulders, or saw people from the back. The most amazing thing was that I noticed people we knew from our former church who were working with us. They had come out to help, and it seemed so good to see them being freed. I saw some of the faces of our former leadership and others. This is a text we received before for this: (Zec.1:17) Cry yet again, saying, Thus saith Jehovah of hosts: My cities shall yet overflow with prosperity; and Jehovah shall yet comfort Zion, and shall yet choose Jerusalem. (18) And I lifted up mine eyes, and saw, and, behold, four horns. (19) And I said unto the angel that talked with me, What are these? And he answered me, These are the horns which have scattered Judah, Israel, and Jerusalem. (20) And Jehovah showed me four smiths. (21) Then said I, What come these to do? And he spake, saying, These are the horns which scattered Judah, so that no man did lift up his head; but these are come to terrify them, to cast down the horns of the nations, which lifted up their horn against the land of Judah to scatter it.) My husband and I were observing this, and I had the knowing that members of our local UBM were there. I felt that close-knit communion that we have -- a unity I've never felt before. (This unity and love is increasingly happening.) I saw a person carry a five-gallon white bucket in each hand and go toward a corner of the room. The wall did not exist; only the two two-foot sections that formed the corners remained. Each of the walls was like this around the building. (Walls between groups are passing away; only the cornerstone of Christ will remain. UBM will be without walls, with room for many more people; a great revival. This is the text the Lord spoke to me that we have received before about UBM: (Zec.2:3) And, behold, the angel that talked with me went forth, and another angel went out to meet him, (4) and said unto him, Run, speak to this young man, saying, Jerusalem shall be inhabited as villages without walls, by reason of the multitude of men and cattle therein. (5) For I, saith Jehovah, will be unto her a wall of fire round about, and I will be the glory in the midst of her. (6) Ho, ho, flee from the land of the north, saith Jehovah; for I have spread you abroad as the four winds of the heavens, saith Jehovah. We must flee now from the Babylonish beast nature and captivity if we are to be safe. (7) Ho Zion, escape, thou that dwellest with the daughter of Babylon. (8) For thus saith Jehovah of hosts: After glory hath he sent me unto the nations which plundered you [these who brought down the walls]; for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye. (9) For, behold, I will shake my hand over them, and they shall be a spoil to those that served them [they will be returned]; and ye shall know that Jehovah of hosts hath sent me. (10) Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion; for, lo, I come, and I will dwell in the midst of thee, saith Jehovah. As the old die, the new come in with the Lord. (11) And many nations shall join themselves to Jehovah in that day [the nations or Gentiles join Zion's daughter, the Bride, in these days as a great revival], and shall be my people; and I will dwell in the midst of thee, and thou shalt know that Jehovah of hosts has sent me unto thee. (12) And Jehovah shall inherit Judah as his portion in the holy land, and shall yet choose Jerusalem. (13) Be silent, all flesh, before Jehovah; for he is waked up out of his holy habitation [to fight for Zion].) The man with the buckets bent to his knees and started scooping up pieces of debris with his hands, then dropping the cement chunks and wood into the bucket. (Cleaning out the old to make room for the new.) A few moments later, I saw another pair of hands helping him. This was happening all through this room (UBM), and I knew that it was happening in the rest of the building (or house of God) also. Then I saw a very kind older man with a beard and collar-length gray hair sitting down at a makeshift table, and I thought I had seen him before. (Likely the Man-child.) It was made from broken pieces of brick (cement block) and a flat old board about 12-14 inches wide. The length was long enough to go across the bricks that support it. (A wilderness setting.) On the board, he had a piece of paper and some kind of list. It may have been job assignments, I'm not sure. Two people had left after talking to him and seemed excited. (UBMers coming into their individual ministries to compliment others' gifts.) There was a lightness in the air and even though there was a lot to do, everyone was pulling together and with much joy. (Like the new birth, there will be much joy and excitement in UBM and other faithful ministries which God will join together. We will be one flock with one Shepherd, as Jesus said.) I received this concerning the rebuilding of UBM: (Hag.2:1) In the seventh [month], in the one and twentieth [day] of the month, came the word of Jehovah by Haggai the prophet, saying, (2) Speak now to Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people, saying, (3) Who is left among you that saw this house in its former glory? and how do ye see it now? is it not in your eyes as nothing? (4) Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel, saith Jehovah; and be strong, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest (two Man-child types); and be strong, all ye people of the land, saith Jehovah, and work: for I am with you, saith Jehovah of hosts, (5) [according to] the word that I covenanted with you when ye came out of Egypt, and my Spirit abode among you: fear ye not. (6) For thus saith Jehovah of hosts: Yet once, it is a little while, and I will shake the heavens, and the earth, and the sea, and the dry land; (7) and I will shake all nations; and the precious things (Heb. “desire”, i.e. The Lord) of all nations shall come; and I will fill this house with glory, saith Jehovah of hosts. (8) The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, saith Jehovah of hosts. (9) The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, saith Jehovah of hosts; and in this place will I give peace, saith Jehovah of hosts.

The Readings for Today's Homily: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/051326.cfmOn the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima, Fr. Chris Alar reflects on Our Lady's urgent call to prayer, penance, reparation, and consecration for world peace. He explains Sister Lucia's clarification to Pope St. John Paul II about the true way Russia was to be consecrated: Solemnly, universally, and in union with the bishops of the world. Father Chris highlights the significance of the March 25, 1984 consecration, and connects it to March 25, 2022, when Pope Francis consecrated Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary with the bishops of the world. Fatima is not just a message from the past — It is a call for our time._______________________________The Seven Fatima PrayersDuring the course of the apparitions at Fatima, the three child seers were taught five unique andpowerful prayers, two by the Angel of Peace and three by the Mother of God. Later, appearing toSister Lucy at Rianjo, Spain, Our Lord Jesus Christ dictated two further prayers. For millions ofpeople, these prayers are today a living embodiment of the Message of hope and peace whichOur Lady gave the world at Fatima.Recently a practice has developed of reciting one or more of these prayers on a daily basis. Feelfree to recite them in any order which you find most comforting and appropriate.MondayMy God, I believe, I adore, I hope and I love You! I ask pardon of You for those who do notbelieve, do not adore, do not hope and do not love You!TuesdayO Jesus, it is for love of You, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for the sinscommitted against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.WednesdayO my Jesus, forgive us, save us from the fire of hell. Lead all souls to Heaven, especially thosewho are most in need.ThursdayO Most Holy Trinity, I adore You! My God, my God, I love You in the most Blessed Sacrament!FridaySweet Heart of Mary, be the salvation of Russia, Spain, Portugal, Europe and the whole world.SaturdayBy your pure and Immaculate Conception, O Mary, obtain for me the conversion of Russia,Spain, Portugal, Europe and the entire world.SundayMost Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Ghost, I offer You the most precious Body, Blood,Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ, present in all the tabernacles of the world, in reparation for thesacrileges, outrages and indifference by which He Himself is offended. And through the infinitemerits of His most Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I beg of you the conversionof poor sinners. ★ Support this podcast ★

Daily Morning Prayer and the Litany (5/13/26): from Trinity Anglican Church (Connersville, IN) Psalm 68 ; 2 Kings 5; Matthew 10; Metrical Psalm 22:1-51 My God, my God, why leav'st thou me when I with anguish faint? O why so far from me removed, and from my loud complaint? 2 All day, but all the day unheard, to thee do I complain; With cries implore relief all night, but cry all night in vain. 3 Yet thou art still the righteous judge of innocence oppressed; And therefore Israel's praises are of right to thee addressed. 4,5 On thee our ancestors relied, and thy deliv'rance found; With pious confidence they prayed, and with success were crowned.If you find this ministry edifying, please consider making a one-time donation or becoming a regular contributor here: https://trinityconnersville.com/give/To read along, visit: https://ie.dailyoffice1662.com/To sing along with the Brady and Tate Metrical Psalter, visit: https://www.friendsofsabbath.org/cgmusic.com/workshop/newver_frame.htmTo own a Bible, visit: https://www.thomasnelsonbibles.com/product/kjv-center-column-reference-bible-with-apocrypha/

Daily Morning Prayer and the Litany (5/13/26): from Trinity Anglican Church (Connersville, IN) Psalm 68 ; 2 Kings 5; Matthew 10; Metrical Psalm 22:1-51 My God, my God, why leav'st thou me when I with anguish faint? O why so far from me removed, and from my loud complaint? 2 All day, but all the day unheard, to thee do I complain; With cries implore relief all night, but cry all night in vain. 3 Yet thou art still the righteous judge of innocence oppressed; And therefore Israel's praises are of right to thee addressed. 4,5 On thee our ancestors relied, and thy deliv'rance found; With pious confidence they prayed, and with success were crowned.If you find this ministry edifying, please consider making a one-time donation or becoming a regular contributor here: https://trinityconnersville.com/give/To read along, visit: https://ie.dailyoffice1662.com/To sing along with the Brady and Tate Metrical Psalter, visit: https://www.friendsofsabbath.org/cgmusic.com/workshop/newver_frame.htmTo own a Bible, visit: https://www.thomasnelsonbibles.com/product/kjv-center-column-reference-bible-with-apocrypha/

Send us Fan MailFree Episode Guide: michellenezat.com/536downloadWhen life feels heavy and hope feels distant, what do you do with your questions, your pain, and your doubt?In this episode of More Than a Song, Michelle Nezat uses “There's a God” by Mary‑Clair as a doorway into Psalm 22 and Jesus' darkest day on the cross. Together, we explore how Scripture invites us to bring honest lament to God while anchoring ourselves in unshakable truth.You'll discover how Jesus' cry of “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?” points us to a psalm that holds both suffering and hope—and how our feelings can be real without being the full story. This episode will encourage you to look to Jesus, interrupt destructive thought loops, and engage Scripture personally when hope feels hard to find.

Mini: Let's review the story of Elisha and the kind lady as we sing: "It Was a Happy Day," "Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam, " and "My God" (thehomeplace.org) with our memory verse Luke 6:38 "Give, and it will be given you."Recorded and produced by: Ashley B. LarsonDon't forget to check out the coloring pages that go along with each lesson! https://startingwithjesus.com/spb-cp/If you have enjoyed this program and would like to know more, go to our website: www.startingwithjesus.comThe Bible and nature story material used in today's devotional podcast has been used with permission from My Bible First. If you would like your own copy, please visit their website-or call 1-877-242-5317.If you would like to purchase your own Memory Verse CD or Songbook, go to Ouachita Hills Store (https://www.ouachitahillsacademy.org/store?page=1&store_category_id=0&sort_by=title&is_ascending=1&search=).Songs from: Little Voices Praise Him, SDA Hymnal, Sabbath Songs For Tiny Tots, New Sabbath Songs For Tiny Tots, Memory Verse Verse Songs for Cradle Roll, Children's Songs For Jesus, and Scripture Songs and Little LessonsAll Bible verses are from the NKJV.Singers for this Quarter: Tory, Caleb, and Enoch Hall, Hudson Reeves, Michael and Amy NelsonEditing assist: Dillon Austin and Josh LarsonMusic Recording and Editing: Rachel Nelson and Kristy HallColoring Pages: Rachel Lamming, Lily Canada, and Evie RodriguezTheme Music: Lindsey Mills- www.lindseymillsmusic.com God: who gives talents for us to use for Him 

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: 2 Samuel 18,  Psalm 56, Matthew 27 Click HERE to give! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on the Daily Radio Bible, a daily Bible‑in‑a‑year podcast with 20‑minute Scripture readings, Christ‑centered devotion, and guided prayer.This daily Bible reading and devotional invites you to live as a citizen of Jesus' kingdom, reconciled, renewed, and deeply loved. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible! On this 10th day of May, day 130 in our journey through Scripture, Hunter invites us to open our hearts and minds as we delve into powerful passages from 2 Samuel 18, Psalm 56, and Matthew 27. Today's episode follows the stories of David's sorrow over Absalom, David's psalm of trust amidst trouble, and the profound events of Jesus' trial and crucifixion. Hunter offers insight into Jesus' cry from the cross, challenging traditional interpretations and reminding us of God's unwavering presence—even in our darkest moments. Join us as we reflect on God's Word, lift our hearts in prayer, and walk together in kindness and faith. TODAY'S DEVOTION: He never abandons us—not even in our darkest hours. On the cross, Jesus cried, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" At first glance, it looks like a moment of utter desolation, as if God the Father has turned away from his Son. Many have taught that in this cry, Jesus is forsaken by the Father, or worse still, that God is punishing the Son. But things are not always as they seem. The early church often saw it differently. Jesus is quoting Psalm 22—a psalm that starts with anguish but ends with trust. Like many of David's psalms, it begins with abandonment but always resolves with confession of God's unfailing presence and faithfulness. As the psalm reaches its end, the psalmist declares, "He did not despise or abhor the affliction of the afflicted. He did not turn his face from me but heard when I cried out to him." In the depths of suffering, God does not hide nor forsake, but listens and draws near. So, what does this mean for us? Jesus, in quoting the psalm, enters fully into the depths of human experience—our betrayals, our loneliness, our feelings of abandonment. He knows them all, tasting them as we do. Yet the profound truth is found not just in the cry, but in the assurance that God is present, even when it seems otherwise. Paul declares in 2 Corinthians 5:19 that on the cross, "God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself." There is no division in the Trinity, no rift between the Father and the Son—not then, not ever. And if God did not abandon Jesus in his most desperate hour, he will not abandon you. He is faithful, and his love endures. Let this truth settle deep into your soul. Trust, as Jesus trusted—even when everything in you wishes to surrender to despair. God's love is steadfast. His presence never leaves. You are never beyond the reach of his care. That's a prayer that I have for my own soul. That's a prayer that I have for my family, for my wife, my daughters, my son. And that's a prayer that I have for you. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Lord God Almighty and everlasting father you have brought us in safety to this new day preserve us with your Mighty power that we might not fall into sin or be overcome by adversity. And in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your purpose  through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen.   Oh God you have made of one blood all the peoples of the earth and sent your blessed son to preach peace to those who are far and those who are near. Grant that people everywhere may seek after you, and find you. Bring the nations into your fold, pour out your Spirit on all flesh, and hasten the coming of your kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.   And now Lord,  make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.  Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.  Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness,  Joy.  Oh Lord grant that I might not seek to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.  For it is in the giving that we receive, in the pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in the dying that we are born unto eternal life.  Amen And now as our Lord has taught us we are bold to pray... Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Loving God, we give you thanks for restoring us in your image. And nourishing us with spiritual food, now send us forth as forgiven people, healed and renewed, that we may proclaim your love to the world, and continue in the risen life of Christ.  Amen.  OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

Opening Prayer Jesus, thank you for the cross. Be honored as we remember you in your sacrifice for us now in communion. In Jesus’ name, amen. The Unfathomable Riches of Christ Each week at Grace Bible Church, we take the Lord’s Supper. We take the bread and the cup just as Jesus commanded us the night before he died. These are touchable, tastable, visible reminders of the reality of our Savior Jesus, who gave himself for us. We’re going to use the Bible. We’re going to use God’s Word to remember, to prep our hearts. For those who do have a Bible, open it to the passage that we just read. We’re going to look only at Ephesians 3:8. Paul begins. He says: “To me, the very least of all the saints, this grace was given.” This is Paul speaking. He was once a persecutor of the church, once a violent enemy of Christians, even approving of their deaths. That’s why he calls himself the least. And when Jesus confronted Paul on the road to Damascus, he didn’t merely say, “Why are you persecuting my people?” He said, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Paul never got over that. He never got over the mercy. He never got over the wonder that Jesus would save him and then give him the grace of preaching the gospel. And we must never get over the fact that God extended his mercy to you and to me. It was never because we deserved it. We all were God’s enemies and would have been there cheering on, even committing the crucifixion of our Savior. And then look what Paul goes on to say in Ephesians 3:8. He says: “To me, the least of all the saints was given this grace, to proclaim the good news of the unfathomable riches of Christ to the Gentiles.” Paul says that he was proclaiming the good news. He was proclaiming the gospel of the unfathomable riches of Christ. I love that Paul describes the riches as unfathomable, unsearchable. We could say they’re inexhaustible. They’re without bottom. They’re beyond our ability to measure or comprehend. And that phrase, the good news that he was preaching, that’s what we mean when we say the gospel. We use that word a lot around here: the gospel. We say the good news as shorthand. What’s it shorthand for? Remember this verse for the rest of your life when you hear gospel and say, “Oh yeah, it’s the good news of unfathomable riches in Christ.” The gospel is not a bare minimum message that gets you forgiven and gets you out of hell, as wonderful as that is. The gospel, this good news, brings sinners saved by grace through faith into the immeasurable riches of Christ. We are richly provided for. If you have riches, you have all that you need. You have no lack. And if we think rightly, we actually know that in Christ, we have not only all that we need, but all that we would ever truly want. We will never exhaust these riches. We won’t reach the end of them. You know what? When we are in heaven for eternity, we will never be bored with Christ. Paul already said in Ephesians 2:7 that when God saved us, he saved us so that in the ages to come, he might show us what? The surpassing riches of his grace and kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. This means that these riches do not run out, neither in this life nor in the life to come. God’s going to spend the coming ages showing us the surpassing riches of his grace and kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Think of it. In a thousand years, that’s a long time. In a thousand years, they’re no closer to being exhausted. In a million years, we’re just getting started. In a hundred million billion years, still enjoying and not yet getting to the bottom of these riches. What Is Ours in Christ So listen to what’s ours in him in the book of Ephesians. I just did a survey of the book to start getting help to shepherd my heart, so I’ll shepherd your heart. What are these riches? This is just in one book, and most of what I share is from Ephesians. I’m just going to start rattling it off. Just sit back and receive. If you’ve read the book of Ephesians, you’re going to know some of this. But I just want you to be overwhelmed with these unfathomable riches: that before the foundation of the world, the Father chose us in Christ, predestined us for adoption, lavished his grace on us in the Beloved, and blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. In Christ, we have redemption through his blood, forgiveness of trespasses, justification by his blood, peace with God, no condemnation, the very righteousness of God counted to us. Once we were dead, far off, strangers, aliens, enemies. Now we’re alive with Christ, brought near by his blood, fellow citizens, members of the household of God, beloved children, fellow heirs, members of one body, partakers of the promise. These are not just theological truths, Christian. These are yours in Christ if you’ve been saved by grace. Christ himself is our peace. He’s broken down the dividing wall, made one new man of Jew and Gentile, and reconciled us to God through the cross. Through him, we have access to the Father in one Spirit. We are sealed by the promised Holy Spirit, who is the pledge of our inheritance, and Christ dwells in our hearts through faith. We have resurrection power at work in us. We are seated with Christ in the heavenly places. We have him as head over all things for the church, exalted over every rule, authority, power, and dominion. We are his workmanship, being built into a spiritual dwelling for God by the Spirit, strengthened through the Spirit in the inner man, rooted and grounded in love, knowing the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, and being built up into the fullness of God. We are being grown up into Christ, nourished, cherished by Christ, sanctified, cleansed by his word, prepared as his bride without spot or wrinkle. Elsewhere, God’s Word says we have a future. We have a resurrection, glorification, an inheritance kept for us, the promise of being forever with the Lord, beholding his face. This is the gospel. In Christ We Get God But here’s what we must not miss. These riches are not detached from Christ. They are not a pile of gifts handed to us while Christ stands off at a distance. The blessings are in Christ, and the blessings of Christ include not only what he gives us, all of those riches, but best of all, we get God himself. This is what Paul means when he says in Philippians, “I count all things loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord.” In Christ we get Christ. In Christ we get God. The greatest treasure of the gospel, the greatest riches, is that through Christ, God himself is provided to the believer. We have bold access to the Father, it says right here in this context, through one Spirit. Unfathomable, immeasurable, unsearchable. What kindness provided by Jesus. Every blessing I just named and more, every spiritual treasure, every eternal riches, all of them came through one great exchange. The Great Exchange Listen to 2 Corinthians 5:21, and this is what I want us to have in mind as we take the bread and juice: “God made him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.” He took what’s ours, we get what’s his. Right? He took our sin, we get his righteousness. He took our death, we get his life. He took our curse, we get blessing. He took our poverty, we get the unfathomable riches in Christ. At the cross, the Son bore the judgment and God-forsakenness that our sin deserved. Think of him. Just hours after he gave us this bread and juice to remember, he hung there and cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” So that all who are in him would never be forsaken, but be united to Christ, have full access to the Father. Bold access. The bread and the cup are reminders for us of this good news, this good news that Jesus did all that was necessary to get us these blessings. It’s done. Paid in full. No more debt I owe. Thank you, Jesus. Invitation to the Table So, believer, before you take the bread, examine yourself. Think: where have you been treasuring lesser things in view of these surpassing riches? In the light of the glory of the gospel in the face of Jesus Christ, these lesser things that we get distracted by, money, success, power, things that you might be willing to turn to instead of Christ, they become seen for what they are. If you’ve fallen for those things, been distracted by them, confess that. Turn now. Take the bread and juice. But if you’re not a believer, if you haven’t turned from yourself to Christ in repentance and faith, let the bread and juice pass when it comes to you. We’re glad you’re here, but this is for those who are Jesus’. But hear me. Christ himself and all the riches that are in the gospel, they’re offered freely to you, received only through Jesus by faith. This exchange, sin for righteousness, death for life, poverty for riches, it’s for any who will come. So talk to me after the service or anyone around you. Come up to the front after; there are people who will pray with you. But please don’t leave here today still separated from Christ and the riches he offers you in the gospel, separated from him. Receive it. Believe. Trust in him. But if you won’t, let the bread and juice pass. Men, please serve us. Believer, take, eat, take, drink. Remember the body given, the blood shed. Remember the great exchange and the unfathomable riches of Christ proclaimed in the gospel, purchased by Christ’s body and blood. And know that you and I will not tire in all of eternity. We will never get tired of receiving, enjoying, searching out the unfathomable riches that are ours in Christ. Take the bread and juice as you’re prepared. The post Communion Meditation: May 10 2026 appeared first on Grace Bible Church.

To become a follower of Jesus, visit: https://MorningMindsetMedia.com/MeetJesus  (NOT a Morning Mindset resource) ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ ⇒Check out all of Carey's books - for adults and kids, fiction and non-fiction : https://CareyGreen.com/books ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: Matthew 27:45–54 - Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. [46] And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” [47] And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.” [48] And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink. [49] But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.” [50] And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit. [51] And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. [52] The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, [53] and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. [54] When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!” (ESV) ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ FINANCIALLY SUPPORT THE MORNING MINDSET: (not tax-deductible) -- Become a monthly partner: https://mm-gfk-partners.supercast.com/ -- Underwrite one daily episode: https://MorningMindsetMedia.com/daily-sponsor/ -- Give one-time: https://give.cornerstone.cc/careygreen -- Venmo: @CareyNGreen ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ FOREIGN LANGUAGE VERSIONS OF THIS PODCAST: Subscribe to the SPANISH version: https://MorningMindsetMedia.com/Spanish Subscribe to the HINDI version: https://MorningMindsetMedia.com/Hindi Subscribe to the CHINESE version: https://MorningMindsetMedia.com/Chinese ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ CONTACT: Carey@careygreen.com  ➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ THEME MUSIC: “King’s Trailer” – Creative Commons 0 | Provided by https://freepd.com/   ***All NON-ENGLISH versions of the Morning Mindset are translated using A.I. Dubbing and Translation tools from DubFormer.ai ***All NON-ENGLISH text content (descriptions and titles) are translated using the A.I. functionality of Google Translate.

I worship when I pray and wait for God's answers. “My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions” (Daniel 6:22, NIV)

I worship when I pray and wait for God's answers. “My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions” (Daniel 6:22, NIV)

On today's Bible Answer Man broadcast (05/06/26), Hank answers the following questions:Why is it okay to test God? Is the testing in Malachi 3:10 and Matthew 4:7 a contradiction? Jason - IL (0:48)Can you address The Language of God by Francis Collins, who speaks of evolution as if is true? Jody - OK (6:15)Why did Jesus cry out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Did God forsake Jesus on the cross? Carmen - SD (16:26)Are Gog and Magog literal nations? What, if anything, do they have to do with Armageddon? Donny - CA (19:06)Can you address Esau seeking repentance but not finding it in Hebrews 12:16, and people being entangled in sin in 2 Peter 2:20? Is this apostasy? Kevin - KS (20:51)

JOHN 20:1-18 - THE EMPTY TOMB - BRIAN SUMNER - 2025JOHN 20:1-18 "Now the first day of the week Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 Then she ran and came to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.”3 Peter therefore went out, and the other disciple, and were going to the tomb. 4 So they both ran together, and the other disciple outran Peter and came to the tomb first. 5 And he, stooping down and looking in, saw the linen cloths lying there; yet he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; and he saw the linen cloths lying there, 7 and the handkerchief that had been around His head, not lying with the linen cloths, but folded together in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who came to the tomb first, went in also; and he saw and believed. 9 For as yet they did not know the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went away again to their own homes.Mary Magdalene Sees the Risen Lord11 But Mary stood outside by the tomb weeping, and as she wept she stooped down and looked into the tomb. 12 And she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain. 13 Then they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”She said to them, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.”14 Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?”She, supposing Him to be the gardener, said to Him, “Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”16 Jesus said to her, “Mary!”She turned and said to Him, “Rabboni!” (which is to say, Teacher).17 Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet ascended to My Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God.' ”18 Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that He had spoken these things to her."To support this channel and partner with Brian in Ministryhttps://www.briansumner.net/support/For more on Brianhttp://www.briansumner.nethttps://www.instagram.com/BRIANSUMNER/https://www.facebook.com/BRIANSUMNEROFFICIALTo listen to Brians Podcast, click below.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Purchase Brians Marriage book at https://www.amazon.com/Never-Fails-Da...Brian is a full time "Urban Missionary" both locally and internationally with a focus on MISSIONS - MARRIAGES - MINISTRY. Since coming to faith in 2004 doors continued opening locally and internationally to do more and more ministry with a focus on Evangelism, Outreach Missions, Marriage, Counsel, Schools, Festivals, Conferences and the like.  Everything about this ministry is made possible because of people personally partnering through the non profit. God Bless and thank you. †Support the showSUPPORT THE SHOW

Spiritual warfare is not merely against the devil, it is also when you fight your own unbelief. My God answers prayer. If you are totally convinced, God CANNOT fail. But it takes a lot of faith to believe God to work miracles.  Fight against the devil by taking authority over him in Jesus' Name. Command him to get out and the problem to go! Exercise the gift of faith, NOW, in a new way – this is not just receiving an answer to prayer – it means taking authority. Nobody has ever used the full amount of power that God has! There is no limit to what God can do! Elijah, Moses, David, only used a small part of God's available power. No man has ever used all of God's power, not John Wesley nor Smith Wigglesworth, no-one. God wants to show His power on earth, but He can only do it through you! Why not use more of His power than any man before you? When God wanted to bring His people out of Egypt, Pharaoh said, ‘No!' God used Moses until Pharaoh said, ‘Yes!' God uses men. But only men and women willing to yield to His authority. 

At some point in life, everyone has asked: Will I have enough?  Enough money. Enough strength. Enough peace. Enough for whatever comes next. In this message, we're looking at one of God's most powerful promises from Philippians 4:19: My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. When fear says you won't make it, remember: God is your source. If you've been carrying worry about the future, this message is for you!

Have you ever left an event and thought: "My God, those people are dull." "People were so rude." "No one made me feel welcome." "Blimey, I'm not doing that again." And by the time you get home, it's not just the event. It's confirmation - "The art world isn't for me." But if that's the story you keep leaving with… it's worth asking what's really going on – After all, not everyone in that room can be an arsehole. What you think you're reading in a room is often not the room at all. Your brain is wired to detect threat. Not physical threat. Social threat. A look. A short answer. A pause. And your brain fills in the gaps: “They're not interested.” “I've said the wrong thing.” “I don't belong here.” So, you withdraw. You close down. You leave early. And just like that… you've created the very experience you were trying to avoid and stop attending events – and miss out on all that they offer.   That's the loop. This week - I'm giving you a simple way to interrupt that negative loop. KEY TAKEAWAYS Your negative read of a room (e.g., “everyone is rude,” “this world isn't for me”) is often not an accurate reflection of what is going on. Your brain isn't passively reading reality; it's predicting based on past experiences and filling in gaps. What you feel in a moment is a mix of what's happening now and what your brain expects to happen. Asking “What else could this mean?” gives you a more open, less fear-driven interpretation. Ceri's KIND process is a simple, four-step way to interrupt the automatic “they don't like me/I don't belong” story. It helps you stay open, calm your body, and take one small extra action so you can create new, more accurate experiences instead of confirming old fears. BEST MOMENTS “What you feel in a moment isn't just what's happening now, it's what your brain expects is happening. So instead of asking, what did that mean? Try what else could this mean?” “Honestly, in a room full of creative people, it simply cannot be true that every single one is an asshole, it just can't. – So, if that's the story you're walking in with, it's worth asking, Is this the room, or is this my lens?” “She wasn't being excluded. She was reacting to a micro moment of uncertainty as if it were rejection.” PODCAST HOST BIO With over 35 years in the art world, Ceri has worked closely with leading artists and arts professionals, managed public and private galleries and charities, and curated more than 250 exhibitions and events. She has sold artworks to major museums and private collectors and commissioned thousands of works across diverse media, from renowned artists such as John Akomfrah, Pipilotti Rist, Rafael Lozano-Hemmer and Vito Acconci. Now, she wants to share her extensive knowledge with you, so you can excel and achieve your goals. **** Ceri Hand Coaching Membership: Group coaching, live art surgeries, exclusive masterclasses, portfolio reviews, weekly challenges. Access our library of content and resource hub anytime and enjoy special discounts within a vibrant community of peers and professionals. Ready to transform your art career? Join today! https://cerihand.com/membership/ **** Unlock Your Artworld Network Self Study Course Our self-study video course, "Unlock Your Artworld Network," offers a straightforward 5-step framework to help you build valuable relationships effortlessly. Gain the tools and confidence you need to create new opportunities and thrive in the art world today. https://cerihand.com/courses/unlock_your_artworld_network/ **** Book a Discovery Call Today To schedule a personalised 1-2-1 coaching session with Ceri or explore our group coaching options, simply email us at hello@cerihand.com **** Discover Your Extraordinary Creativity Visit www.cerihand.com to learn how we can help you become an extraordinary creative. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

You have to make a conscious decision, either to continue to live ‘normally' or to live in a faith-experience of letting God's Word govern your decisions. It is a command of God that we must possess and receive all that God has for us. It is not an option – obey! It takes faith to possess all that God has given and act on it. Real faith does not come easily, but it is a specific gift from God through the Holy Spirit and you can ask for it, as I do. First you must come into an experience of receiving the Holy Spirit, then you can receive His gifts. In 1 Corinthians 12 there are nine gifts. One is speaking with other tongues, but when you receive this, why not also ask for the gift of faith? If you will fight this spiritual battle, God will give a miracle – but choosing to have miracles is the hard way! Not many people have the faith to fight this battle and win. Spiritual warfare is not merely against the devil, it is also when you fight your own unbelief. My God answers prayer. If you are totally convinced, God CANNOT fail. But it takes a lot of faith to believe God to work miracles. 

Cross-referencesGenesis 1:1In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.Exodus 25And let them make me a sanctuary, that I may dwell in their midst.Exodus 12Tell all the congregation of Israel that on the tenth day of this month every man shall take a lamb according to their fathers' houses, a lamb for a household.Genesis 28And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.1 Kings 6In the four hundred and eightieth year after the people of Israel came out of the land of Egypt, in the fourth year of Solomon's reign over Israel, in the month of Ziv, which is the second month, he began to build the house of the Lord.Numbers 21From Mount Hor they set out by the way to the Red Sea, to go around the land of Edom. And the people became impatient on the way.Exodus 16And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wildernessDeuteronomy 18The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your brothers—it is to him you shall listenExodus 17And the Lord said to Moses, Pass on before the people, taking with you some of the elders of Israel, and take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile, and go.Zechariah 9:9Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.Ezekiel 34For thus says the Lord God: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out.Isaiah 53He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with griefPsalm 22My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?Exodus 12:46It shall be eaten in one house; you shall not take any of the flesh outside the house, and you shall not break any of its bones.Daniel 7:13–14I saw in the night visions, and behold, with the clouds of heaven there came one like a son of man, and he came to the Ancient of Days and was presented before him.And to him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, that all peoples, nations, and languages should serve him; his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom one that shall not be destroyed.John 3:16–17For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.John 2:11This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him.John 21:25Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.

On today's Bible Answer Man broadcast (05/01/26), Hank answers the following questions:I listened to a debate on the Trinity vs. Oneness Pentecostalism. I'm confused. What are your insights? Cindy - Austin, TX (1:21)My friend received the Holy Spirit and began speaking in tongues. Is being filled with the Spirit and speaking in tongues biblical? John - St. Louis, MO (15:13)When Jesus said, “My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me,” was the Father and Son separated at that moment? How can there be a three-in-one? Brenda - High Point, NC (19:11)

Andrew returns with his latest blueprint for a gothic mystery, and the coaching quickly zeroes in on what will make it work: a clear, compelling villain and twists that truly land. With help from thriller coach and Thrillerfest executive director Samantha Skal, the discussion unpacks the hidden layer of the story—what the villain is actually doing—and how that contrasts with the protagonist's assumptions.As they dig in, it becomes clear that strengthening the mystery means making the murders more personal, introducing a convincing false suspect, and mapping both the visible story and the truth underneath it. By the end, Andrew has a sharper path forward: deepen the villain's motive, raise the stakes earlier, and build each twist so it feels both surprising and inevitable.#AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.About Book Coach Sam SkalA fan of the scary, mysterious, and suspenseful, Samantha Skal is the Executive Director of ThrillerFest, the co-founder of Shadows & Secrets writing retreats, and an Author Accelerator-certified book coach who specializes in coaching mystery, thriller, horror, and suspense authors. Sam writes stories that keep her up at night, is a breast cancer survivor, and lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Learn more at www.samanthaskal.com and www.shadowsandsecrets.com. Catch Up on Andrew's Hot Seat Coaching JourneyTranscriptHi, I'm Jennie Nash, and you're listening to the #amwriting podcast, the place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most.This is a hot seat coaching episode where we work through a real challenge in real time.And today we're back talking with Andrew Perella, the hashtag am writing podcast producer who has stepped out from behind the mic to work on a novel. And where we left Andrew last time was you'd worked through the whole blueprint and you were tasked with completing. Inside outline. So before we get into our guest and, um, what we're gonna do today, how was that, what was it like for you?Um, I mean, it was, it was, uh, really hard. Uh, but it was, it was, uh, it was really gratifying and it was, it was a lot of fun to do as well. Um. Because I think, um, part of, part of the assignment, you, you, you left for me, [00:01:00] Jenny, was to also beef out certain elements of certain, certain, the presence of certain characters, um, and certain and certain elements of the book.And so I was trying to do that as well as. As, as crafting the outline. Um, and so yeah, it was, it was a long, it was a struggle. It was a struggle, especially to get it to three, to keep it to three, to get it down to three pages. I know, and I'm very strict about that for reasons you are. Um, and. Did you feel a sense of accomplishment when you did it though?Like, oh, this is a book and I'm writing it, or how did that land? Yeah, I mean, like at first I just started writing. I started writing the scene bullets and the, and the points, and just started like, okay, what are all the, what are all the elements that that. I have in my head that I need to get down onto paper and it was like 6, 7, 8 pages.And I was like, okay, now I gotta get this down to three pages. Um, and, and, and I was like, okay, I can combine these two scenes or maybe I don't need this. So I just ended up cutting a lot and cutting a lot [00:02:00] and getting it down. So like, yes, there was a sense of like. Completion. Um, that was certainly gratifying, uh, to get that.And, uh, I had a couple of late nights, um, getting that, getting that squared away, but yeah, it also feels, feels more real now. Um, and it's like, yeah, there's, there's, there's a, there's a there here, which I'm pretty excited about. I'm excited about too, and I'm also excited because we're doing something really cool today.Um, and we have with us Samantha Skull, who I will introduce in a hot second. But hi Samantha. Hi. Thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Well, I'm excited too because, um. Sam, as I call her, um, I've known for quite some time. She's one of the OG author, accelerator certified coaches. And Sam, you actually don't know this, but I use you.Probably every day.Oh my God, I'm so flattered as an example of [00:03:00] what a great book coach should do, which is to focus and choose who you're gonna serve and how you're gonna serve them, and to really go deep into what you love and what you wanna do all day. Right? The read books all day and get paid for it thing like do what you love and you.Do that. You've done that just so powerfully and it's so visible on your website, which we'll link to in the show notes so folks can go see, but. Sam loves all the dark and suspenseful and scary mystery, twisty things, which always just cracked me up because I don't, and that's what's so beautiful about book coaching and writing for that matters.Everybody has their own thing and, and that's part of the work of writing Big is. What is your thing? You know? So the reason that I wanted Sam to come is she's built a whole business on this type of work and with, um, another author, [00:04:00] accelerator coach, she runs a really cool, uh, writing retreat that is, um, it's always in Salem.Right. It is in a haunted hotel, which, um, Carrie Savage, who is my co-founder in shadows and secrets, uh, loves being haunted. I do not choose to be haunted, so I choose the non haunted floor. So they have that retreat and they, um, have just started taking it virtual and just all kinds of tools and resources and things for people writing this kind of work.And in addition to that, I. I just am always impressed by your trajectory of having gone from. A volunteer at the Thriller Fest. Well, for a participant at the Thriller Fest conference to being a volunteer, to running the Pitch Fest piece of the thing. And now you're, well then you were co-director, now you're running the whole thing.You're, you're, yes, I am. You're running the entire [00:05:00] Thriller Fest conference, which is how many writers every year. Oh, we have around a thousand and I have a team behind me. Just to be clear. This would not happen without a village, but uh, yes, we have around a thousand thriller authors who come to New York and we, uh, we talk about the dark stuff all week.It's absolutely the, the best time. And it's in two weeks. I can't, I mean, when this comes out, it may have already passed, but yeah, can't wait. No, this is coming out right before, so if anybody wants a quick getaway to New York, they should go. But also just the programming, watch the programming coming out of it and we're so excited.Yeah, it's really good. So, um, I just, I love the career you've built for yourself. It's always just really inspiring to me. And, um, also a recent breast cancer survivor, so we're, uh, always wanna shout out to that. Yes. Get your scans. That's my PSA. Always love it. Same. Love it. Love it. So I wanted Sam to come look at Andrew's inside [00:06:00] outline because I knew that the thing he has to work on is this, what I call in my not totally expertise in this area.I call the twisties of it. That there's a, you know, it's a mystery. It's a murder, it's a gothic, it's horror. It's all the things. And it, those twists have to land. And this is so much Sam's expertise that the whole time I was talking to Andrew about it and guiding him and coaching him, I just kept thinking, we need Sam in here.So, so we got Sam in here. And so, um, Andrew completed his inside outline and Sam very graciously, um, agreed to look through it and to look through his whole blueprint. So before we get into what you saw and what you found, Sam. I just love to hear, I mean, this is so self-serving. I just like nothing more than reading a blueprint.I think it's so fun. Um, just to like, [00:07:00] kind of peel back the, the cover and see what's in there. Did, did you have fun with that? Oh my gosh. So much fun. Andrew. This story is, is so cool. And I love the historical elements and the rethinking of, you know, vampires are running around London and everyone's just like, that's fine.You know, and then how does, how does this all go down? And we have this very agency filled, moxie filled main character who's just a delight and yeah, I loved it. I have, I have so many fun questions to ask you. So Andrew, how does that feel? I mean, it feels great and I, I was reading through, uh, through both of your notes, um, in the, in the, in the outline and like you're asking all of these questions.Um. Some of them that I have not thought of before and like, so I'm, so I'm really excited to kind of dig into these and talk through them. But I'm, I'm, it's really gratifying to hear that this, that this idea is, is, is, is an interesting one. Yeah. I loved it. I a hundred [00:08:00] percent read this book. I'd, I'd see it and be like, yes, I want, I want to be in that world.Cool. Well that's why you're here. Because I would be like, no, too scary. Too scary for me. So, um, I'm gonna let. Sam sort of take it away and, uh, we could talk for days, I'm sure about this, but one of the, the things I love about book coaches who are well trained is they'll hone in on the most important, the most important things.So. What do you think, Sam? What's the most important thing Andrew should be thinking about in his next iteration of this outline? Yeah, so my favorite thing to talk about outta the gate with Mr. Thriller and suspense and gothic horror, depending on how dark you wanna make this, um, is who is the person who's really behind all these murders and why are they committing them?Right? I like to think of MTS mystery full or suspense as the villain's journey as experienced by the [00:09:00] protagonist. Mm-hmm. Right. So we, we must know what's going on beneath the surface in order for those twists to land, because twists are just assumptions about what's going on that the protagonist makes.And when the truth, you know, what's really going on with the villain is revealed, it's twisty because it's unexpected. Mm-hmm. So if we don't, therefore if we don't know who's. Who's behind, who's doing all these villainous things. Um, we struggle to make those twists land and we struggle to get a blueprint that we can actually follow.So tell me your thoughts on who this mastermind murderer is and why they're doing what they're doing. Um, so. So Jack Seward is the, is the, is the Mastermind behind this. And I've been, I've been thinking a lot about it this week since I, since I finished the, since I finished the outline. And a lot of other things have occurred to me about who this gentleman is and how he's doing what he's doing.But I think the why is, um, he is committed to the status quo. He is committed [00:10:00] to, uh, uh, uh, uh, a, you know, uh. He is committed to the manosphere. He is committed to the patriarchy. He has committed to, um, the previous way of doing things. Um. In, in, in society, in politics, in medicine. And so like he's seeing this sea change, um, in all of those areas.Um, with the advent of this, of this, um, medical school for women, uh, with the, with this vote, um, vote, uh, that is happening. Um, and he disapproves and so his goal is to disrupt all of those, um. Disruptions di uh, by pitting them against each other. Got it. So if he can, if he can. Create this illusion that vampires are preying on Suffr jets.They will be too busy fighting each other to try and find any sort of, uh, agency for [00:11:00] themselves. Aha. Very, very well thought out. I love that. As a, as a mastermind villain goal. So here's the other thing, is that mm-hmm. In the genre expectation for any sort of modern mystery, full or suspense, is that we have three twists.We have one at the mid and we can have more. Right. But we have one at the midpoint, which is just the midpoint turn. Like it's, it's a classic story thing, which you already have. You have a great midpoint currently. Mm-hmm. Um, and the climactic twist is the reveal of, uh, as, as Carrie, my co-founder and shadows and secrets likes to say, um, the climactic.Confrontation answers the story question, which is presented in the inciting incident and typically in mysteries, the inciting incident is who's doing the killing? Right? Like, who's behind this dead body that we have early on? And we'll talk about that in just a second. Um, so the climactic answers that question, and then we have a final twist, which is typically the reveal of this gentleman who wants to keep things as is.And he [00:12:00] meanwhile. During the course of the story is going to be taking action to stop, uh, our plucky protagonist from stopping him, right? Mm-hmm. So he's a full antagonist to our protagonist. And in that way we need a fake villain, right? We need someone that he can have set up so that she thinks this is the person behind everything in the climactic scene.And then she gets to the end and is like, oh my gosh, I've. You know, I've conquered, I've brought chaos to order, I've solved this thing, and now, oh my God, now there's somebody else who's actually behind everything. And actually we're still in grave danger and we didn't even know to be worried about this.And that's how you get that like, you know, 85 to 98% just ripping through the pages readers, you know, being so hooked to figure out what happened. Right. Um, so. Tell me a little bit more about who Seward could have set up or manipulated or something [00:13:00] else to commit these murders so that he gets done what he wants to get done, but he also protects himself.And if you don't know the answer, that's okay. We can brainstorm. But if you do, then that's great. So this is, this is kind of part of the, the, the thought, the idea that I've had since I, since I finished the, the, the, uh, the outline is. Because the, the syringe idea mm-hmm. The double-headed syringe idea always felt a little tenuous.Uh, like I, I wasn't quite sure that that was gonna hold, but, so my new thought about this is, is. Because he is, uh, he is the, uh, director of a mental institution. Um, and so, and so, like, that's a whole other politic where he has people who are, uh, who are in his thra essentially. And so is there a way that he can coerce, um, a vampire who needs him to commit these murders on his behalf, thereby kind of insulating himself from the actions.Perfect. And [00:14:00] so I think that could, so the climactic twist would then be. It's a vampire I disco discovering that the, the, this is the vampires committing the murders. But then the, the, the final twist is, oh s**t, he's been doing this at the behest of, of Seward, who's her, you know, kind of Yes, yes. As it were in quotation.Okay. Yes. That sounds amazing. And it also, you know, when we step into this story, um, in your initial scene, we have. Vampires feeding on people and Abby's just like, uh, okay, that's, that's normal. Right? And so is that, did I read that right? Is that the world that we're in? Is that We have vampires existing and Van Helsing, you know, was the one who kept them in check.And we have all that like lore that we're dealing with that the reader brings in. So tell me more about the world I'm walking into here. So, yeah, I think I'm still developing this world. So we're 20 years. Around 20 years after the events of Dracula. Okay. The, the, the novel. And so, and I think, I think people are now aware that [00:15:00] vampires exist.And I think, you know, at this, at the same time, they're being used as like this bogey man or, or, or straw man of like, everything that is wrong with, with British society. Um, but they're also. Not the monsters, right? They're, they're just another, another, um, community that is trying to, uh, eke out, eke out some sort of existence.Um, I love that so much. It's just such a fun, sort of new twist on. Know a story that's so well known and has been in our collective conscience for a hundred years. You know, I don't know when, when Dracula came out. Correct me if I'm wrong, but a long time, right? A little over a hundred years. Yeah. It's been a minute.It's been a minute. Um, and so I, so it's still very much a period of transition as, as you know, London and the world are still trying to figure out what that means, that these things actually exist and live among us. Um, and, uh, and so. There were [00:16:00] some things that didn't make it into the outline like I had.There was this one scene where they're walking down the street and there's someone on the soapbox at speaker's Corner at Hyde Park who's railing against, who's railing against, uh, um, vampires as like a sturge on society and things of that nature. And, and there'll be things in the newspaper. I think that kind of addressed this new, this new politic, um, that, that the characters interact with.And so I'm still feeling out what exactly it means. That vampires exist and are part of the public consciousness. Yeah. So one sort of logical question that comes up for me there is, you know, if we're in society and there's just like monsters living among us who occasionally pick people off on the street, that would create a level of, um, extreme tension.Okay. Right. One might say, right, like, yeah, if I'm wandering down the street and I see a vampire eating somebody that's not just like a, you know, we would be taking steps to protect ourselves because humans are always going to protect themselves, and so yes. You [00:17:00] know what, if you change it where the vampires are only allowed to feed on like livestock or something.Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, something that's like the, nobody's happy, right? Yeah. Like, like most, uh, um, situations where we, we agree on something and we're, we're all giving something up. Yeah. But that allows them to exist in society and live among us. Right? Like the, the veil has been lifted. Vampires are here.But they've agreed to only eat livestock, and then the fact that they're murdering people by eating them then becomes. A huge deal. Right? Because this Deante that we've had with them is now broken. Mm-hmm. Um, something like that, because I think if we, if we have it just being casual that they're, they're eating people in alleys or whatever, it reduces, I mean, that's a fun story, don't get me wrong.Yeah, yeah. But that reduces the impact of the murders that we are seeking to solve with this and Right. You know, you said this was, this was a mystery. And so currently [00:18:00] we don't have a ton of mystery on the page like we have. The midpoint is where, um, she discovers that things might not be what they seem, which I love.But in order for that to have impact, we need something earlier. And that could be, you know, these murders have been happening for a few days. That could be the last year. It could be she sees the first murder. Um. Something along those lines, but we need something early. So we, we understand the tension and we understand the mystery story question because you have a ton of other story questions in here, but if this is mystery first, the mystery story question needs to be who committed, who is committing these murders and why?Yep. Yeah. Does that kind of, that makes sense? Land? Yes. No, absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. Now as a, as as I was, I was rereading the outline, the other, the other, the, the other night. And I was like, I feel, I feel like there needs to be another murder scene. Yeah. Earlier we gotta up the body count in the, the book.Yeah. You know, it's a, it's a, it's a conversation I have every day. [00:19:00] Yeah. Not, not enough dead bodies. Not enough dead. Not enough dead bodies. Yeah. So, you know, and so if she is, if she's really worried about, you know, that's their question is why, why is she so involved in solving these murders? How do we make it personal to her?Mm-hmm. And so could this be a friend? Could this be. You know, um, a sister, could this be an aunt, like some something that's related to her so that this person is taken out. And then that becomes Seward has targeted her because she's the, she's, you know, van sing's niece, right? Yep. Yeah. So she's a public figure that if he takes out by having a vampire.Quote, you know, kill her. Then he will have achieved his goal of disrupting this whole thing and be like, look how dangerous it's for women to be out in the world and you know. Mm-hmm. We should put a stop to this. Like that achieves his goal, but she won't know. Right. Obviously that [00:20:00] that's his goal. Right.But he also needs to create the unrest, so it's not just, you know, she's the one who's murdered. That's going to be the climactic plan and he will have killed other people in the meantime. Right. Okay. Something like that. Like we need to make, yeah. Whatever it is that needs to be personal to her. And if she paint, if she paints a target on her back later on by being a ksky, amateur sleuth, which is classic.Um. That works well as well. But I like, you know, one of the questions I love to ask is, what was your villain doing on the day that their prote, the pro protagonist, decided to ruin their life by deciding to go after and stop them from villain. And so maybe she had nothing to do with any of this and she's researching and becomes a problem.That's the other way you could play it. Mm-hmm. Um. But, you know, if he has this grand plan and he's like, Ooh, Abby would make a great sort of like, figurehead to the end of all these murders, and that's the one that I'm gonna point at it and be like, [00:21:00] look, we can't, you know, I, we can't have these women out here.Right? Something like that could work well. Um, what do you think? What, what's, what's your brain do when I say all those things? Um, it's interesting. I hadn't considered, I hadn't considered that her uncle would be targeting her. One of the things I've been grappling with was like. One of the reasons he targets people around her is to scare her away from med school to scare her away from the cause, okay.Um, and kind of pin her in further to the existing, to the existing, um, um, status quo. Um, and so I hadn't considered him using her. Sacrificing her for his, uh, for his ultimate goals. Yeah. Um, and that's an in, that's an interesting idea. And, and if she were to discover that would certainly up to stakes, um, that would certainly up to stakes for her.It would. And so if you want him to be a little more [00:22:00] empathetic Right. We don't need to go like full dark if you don't want to. Right. Um, he could be trying to protect her. By killing other people, which is misguided. Yeah. But, uh, fun. Right? And then that would make sense. So when she figures out it's actually him, he could be like, I was doing all of this to protect you because I love you.You're in my family. Right? Yeah. That also works. But we need to have whatever his, his plan is for causing, you know, using these murders to achieve his goal. If she's, she needs to be the target of it so that it's very personal to her as she moves through this story. Um, and upping the stakes is always great.It amps the tension, right? Yeah. And again, she's not gonna know any of this until she gets to that final twist. And so one of like the most fine chilling, you know, tingly things that you can do with mysteries is that reveal at the very end. We as through the protagonist, understand how much danger we were in [00:23:00] this entire story, and we had no idea.Right? And that moment is the one that we're seeking with readers and for ourselves, right? It's like, how do we have that moment that reveal have the biggest impact possible? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Yeah. I, I see Andrew just grinning, like, what are you, whatcha feeling? He's just like, got his giant grin on his face.I mean, like, and like I said, I've been trying to figure out how, because it, because as I was reading, as I was reading through the outline, it did feel like, like abriana was just kind of like adjacent to mm-hmm. All of the murders. Um, and, and Jenny, you and I had talked about whether there was an active investigation and, and, and Sam, I think you kind of alluded to that in, in the notes, is there, is there an active investigation and like, is she, is, is Abriana being.Is, uh, uh, coroner does a suspect by the, by the investigators. Um, is that, why, is that why she is doing her own investigation? Um, [00:24:00] which is another, which is another way to to, to up the stakes. Mm-hmm. Also, um, I, yeah, I'm, I'm, that's an interest, that's an interesting way though to, that's an interesting take on Seward, who's, um, an avuncular figure.He's not, like, he's not a blood relation. To Abriana, but like he is, he is determined in his goal and like, you know, he would, he probably would stop at nothing to get that done, even if it meant, even if it meant, uh, the daughter of a friend of his got killed. Yeah, I mean, just thinking through, and this is your homework, really, is to think through how dark do you want to make him, right?Because you can have a villain who starts off with. A, uh, a goal and decides to achieve it through very ill-advised means, but still wants to protect the people around them, right? Like they can be both. We don't have to have it be a hundred percent. [00:25:00] This person is so evil and willing to burn it all down, right?And so, but that can also be a series of bad decisions. It's like bad decision one leads to, oh my God, like people are finding out that these aren't really vampires. Now I have to really like double down to make it really seem like vampires, so I don't get caught. Because guess what, if I get caught, my life is ruined.Right? And you know, as Abby gets closer, he realizes. I have to kill her. Right? Yeah. She's, she's gonna ruin everything. Yeah. And that sort of angst and that, you know, that would be very painful for him. That could be the thing that when she confronts him at the end, and there will be a de Ma, right? We're gonna have something where he's like, I did all these things for this reason.And it doesn't have to be Yeah. Pages, but we do have a, that's a classic mystery thing. Mm-hmm. She'll understand if you like this, that you know, he was trying to protect her and then. He'll be like, you did this to yourself. You know, like, right. Yeah. You're the one who got in the way. Um, something like [00:26:00] that.And he's like, mm-hmm. My only choice now is to kill you. And then of course she will not allow that because she's our lucky protagonist and will survive because chaos will be brought to order. That's the other big thing is we wanna wrap this up unless you're going who, in which case. It gets worse at the very end.Um, is, is that, is that, is that allowed? Yeah, we, yeah. Well, to keep chaos on the chaos, absolutely. We just need it genre bending is. So hot right now, right? Um, and it's really fun, right? So you can have both, you can have the main mystery wrapped up, like she can, Abby can figure out, okay, this wasn't actually vampires and someone is posing as a vampire.And so that actually changes your midpoint, by the way. We'll talk about that in a second. But if that's the arc, right? She thinks it's vampires. She is, when she does the climactic confrontation, she's like, it's vampires like someone, you know, what are they doing? Why are they doing this? And then realizes [00:27:00] in that, that it wasn't vampires and it's actually someone else.Um, the chaos will be brought to order in that way, right? Like we have, we have a right, we have figured out that someone was posing as a vampire. But what if you have a final, final twist where you know, there actually are vampires. Killing people as well. Like seaward only admits to three of these murders and then there's someone else doing, you know, and it's just like we end it with like, oh no.You know? Right. Yeah. Or by, maybe there's something mystical with like by imitating a vampire or that, you know, the vampires have been gathering their energy for the last 20 years by feeding on goats and you know, they're ready to, we need a new van Helsing to, to keep them under control or something. And Abby takes up that mantle and, you know.You can, you can totally play it where there's an unanswered. Okay. Oh no, it's worse at the end, but we do need some sort of wrap up of the story. Gotcha. But there does seem to be some cover resolution. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I see what you're saying. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. So it strikes [00:28:00] me, I'm not sure that you picked this up, Sam, and you might not have, but that there's a.Uh, um, Mina the Vampire. Mina, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is is her mother. Right. I did pick up on that, and that's a question I have. Okay. Yeah. Great. Because it seems like what you're all talking about that could play a really important role in any of these twists and arcs. Right. I. Yes. Yes. Plus one. Yeah. Everything you just said.Um, yeah. So Mina being her mother, fantastic. One of your final twists, right? And particularly if you have Seward being like the final confrontation, final twist person, and then, you know, you have this lovely final scene where she's like, oh my God, it's my mother. Um, yeah. But the logical question there is why would Mina Hyde, what's she after?Why would she not have tried to help Abby? Right? Because you're dealing with reader expectations that mothers will do anything to protect their children. Right? And so you can, we can twist that. Maybe she is trying to protect her from what's coming, right? [00:29:00] Like what's actually going on. Maybe she's the one who's been protecting her the whole time by warding off the vampires that have been attacking her, her friends at medical school.Um. And that's why there's so many mistaken identity things, right? Because you have two where, where Abby's like, whoops. I think that was supposed to be for me. Yeah. Um, and so the reader's gonna wonder why are they so bad at killing her, right? Like, if these were assassin attempts, like why wouldn't what, what's going on?And so that answers that question. If it's Mina stepping in, but you know, we need to understand what Mina's really after and why she didn't step forward sooner. That's a huge question that, you know, yeah. Everyone will have. Yeah, it is a huge question. Like, like where has she been for the last 18 years?Mm-hmm. Why has Aubrianna not seen her since, since, since her birth? Um, and I haven't quite nailed that down yet. Like, is there some sort of like vampire code? I don't like, I don't know. Is it, is it that she's, is that she, that Mina. Knows [00:30:00] Jonathan, her husband too well, and knows that, that he would not allow a vampire, uh, to interact with his children.Like. And so I think there, I think there are a couple of answers to that, but I haven't like, landed on one yet. Um, but I, like, I, I like the idea of Mina working kind of behind the scenes to protect, to actively protect, um. Abriana, which is what that, that opening that, that, that scene in the alley earlier on is about, is like she comes to her aid at that point.Um, and, uh, and, and and physically puts herself between, between Abri and Abriana and the violence, which Abriana misunderstands, uh, and runs away terrified. But I think, I, I think there are ways to incorporate that, as you say. Elsewhere in the, elsewhere in the story. Yeah. Well, I mean she, to make to a fantastic twist would be, she assumes Mina is the one after her, right?Right. Yeah. Like she recalls in this opening scene that Mina was coming at her and is like, Ooh, that's the vampire that wants to kill me. Yeah, yeah. And [00:31:00] you know, sees her around. And so that's her assumption. And this is how you create twists, right? Her assumption is that Nina is the person behind all of this, and why, but.You run the risk of when she starts investigating Mina and figuring out who she is? It would be, we'd figure out we need some very good reason that she couldn't figure out that was that Mina was her mother, right? Yeah. Yes. So in that case, I would suggest having some other vampire be the one that she thinks is behind everything.Um, which leads me to the midpoint. So currently this is where she discovers that these bite marks are not bite marks at all. They are. Other Marks syringes. Right, right. Like the, yeah. Yeah. Um, so if that's the midpoint, which I like, again, that means that she's going to assume that there is a human or a vampire who's lost her teeth.I don't know, um, behind all of this. And the climactic confrontation will be with that, [00:32:00] with that knowledge that this is not a vampire doing these villainous things. Um. So how does that feel? Like do if, do we, is there someone in the cast that we can sort of have her assume is that person that's not Seward.Not, not someone that I've identified yet. Um, okay. But I, I, I, I agree with you. We need, we need someone that she, that she's pursuing and, uh, in, at, in, in that sense. Um, and, and she believed, I, I, I see, I see. Now I see what you're saying. That the, the importance of her making that, that, that incorrect assumption that this is the person who's, who's doing, who's doing the, the killings.And I don't know who that is yet. I don't know if there's someone actively in the, in the cha in the cast that we have, or if I need, if I need a new character. Okay. I mean, you can also play with, you know, so this is the thing about mysteries, it gets very quickly complicated, is on the surface we have all the assumptions which are incorrect.[00:33:00] Right? Right. And so we have to build up that, those plots and make it plausible. Yeah. Because we need, you know, the example I like to give is like, let's say you, you come home and you're expecting that no one else is there and there's an open window and there is a earring back on the counter and a bloody footprint on your.You know, nice white carpet and you know, um, a knocked over plant and then you recall, oh yes, you know the nab I've been babysitting the neighbor's cat, they knocked over the plant. So that's solved. But this bloody footprint is really freaking me out because clearly somebody came in here and made a bloody footprint and that's terrifying.You're focusing on the bloody footprint because that's the most obvious thing, but the earring back is the thing that is the villain clue. Right, and that, that's the person that came in and misled you by putting the bloody footprint on the carpet for reasons, capital R, whatever it is in this story, right?But we have clocked on screen, on the page what the clue is and ignored it. And so yeah, [00:34:00] this is how you can go back in on a revision and you know, you maybe we don't know who this other person is that's actually doing this, but they will have a vested interest in not being caught. Right? Mm-hmm. And so these little clues that we put on the page later are ignored, and then we're following the story that we've already created.Mm-hmm. Um, but keeping track of all these layers feels complicated, which is why Jenny's outline with three pages is so, so useful. Um, right. Because what the, what's on the page is the, is the story that you already, that we're focusing on, right? Mm-hmm. And then what really happened? Mm-hmm. Is the thing beneath the surface that we don't learn until the truth is revealed in one of these twists.Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. No, that absolutely makes sense. That Absolutely. That also feels like a lot to think about. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't have, I don't have enough red earrings. I don't have enough mis, I don't have enough misdirecting. Misdirecting clues, as it were. Right. Well, those are fun to brainstorm, right?Because we start thinking [00:35:00] about who really, it comes back to Seward. Like what would he be doing to misdirect Abby away from this? Right. To keep her safe, if you like that as a goal. Yeah. And also to make the, make society freak out about how vampires are killing again. Mm-hmm. Um, what would he plant, who would he manipulate?Who would he pay off? You know? Mm-hmm. Maybe there's a vampire who knows about all of this, and. Is trying to kill the person that Seward is hired to do the syringes because Seward's not going around and doing this. Abby would've seen him or you know mm-hmm. Recognized him or something. So he will have paid someone to, or it has someone in his organization who also believes in the cause.Yeah. And is doing this, and maybe that person's a vampire. I don't know. I do love the double syringe. I mean, I hope that stays. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. It's good. Is it? Yeah. I heard you say, I heard you kind of dismiss it, Andrew, but it, to me, that would be a perfect misdirection if [00:36:00] somebody finds that and now there's this whole thread of assumptions about what that means and Yeah, but that it's not really what it is or it's not being used the way we think, or so.Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Sam, you mentioned something because I was, I was getting close to like throwing that overboard. No, it's good. No. Okay. Okay. I think it is good. So, so, so, so, but that could still be, that could still be used as a, that could still, I could still use it as a red herring potentially, uh, because it could still be a vampire at Seward's behest committing the murders.But maybe they're doing it with the syringe or maybe they're, and or maybe they're doing it a little bit with their own or Right. Or not. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, to Jenny's point, this could be a total, maybe. Maybe it's not used for what we think. Maybe the double syringe is something completely unrelated and it's like the best way to draw out the.I don't know. I mean, depending on, maybe he is drugging the people in the [00:37:00] asylum, like giving them more drugs than they're supposed to have. Right, right. And, and he devised, I mean, you know, devised a double syringe to deliver it and doesn't want anybody to know that that's what he is doing, you know? Yeah, yeah.Okay. Yeah, yeah. But if you wanna play with the idea that there's also a vampire involved who believes in Seward's? Cause then that, you know. That's very interesting because it's like, well, why? What do they want? You know? Yeah, yeah. Or even just someone who is, is being coerced by him, who does, doesn't necessarily Yes.Believe in the cause, but is perhaps is, has perhaps been assigned to his asylum. Mm-hmm. And he's taking advantage of, I love. Which I think, I think really makes sewer to a, a pretty despicable individual on a number of levels, which I, which I can like, well, I mean, he's already killing people, so, right. You know, slippery slope.But that's what, you know, it's, that's the, [00:38:00] that's the thing is that his, his goals. We need to make logical sense when we get to the end and Right. You know, Abby figures out what's going on, but he, he can also be empathetic. Right? Yeah. Like, why is he so scared of women? Yeah. Being in society, what is, what is that deep fear about?And that's definitely something to explore as well. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, so we could, like I said, talk for days, for days about these things, but, um, it feels like this is a good place to leave Andrew with a whole bunch of work to do. And I'm just laughing because, um, this is such a perfect example of.Why we do a blueprint, right? There's so much to work out. There's so much to think about. There's so many layers and levels to every story. And, uh, you know, we, we heard you today, Andrew, sort of going, well, I don't know. I haven't thought about it. I don't know. I, I'll have to see, you know, that's, that's the work and being in that.[00:39:00] Discomfort and that not knowing mm-hmm. And the, all the possibilities and making your choices. That's, that's a work, right Sam? Like that's, it is, it's so fun. But yeah, it's mysteries are puzzles, right? Yeah. And we wanna guide the reader through the puzzle in a way that gives them maximum impact and maximum joy.For every reveal that we decide to put out there, right? We, we, we don't want to casually have a reveal. Everything is on purpose. Um, and so I was gonna say on, on the inside outline that you have, um, a parallel one, or, you know, if you make it even tighter just to flow the flow of events, you can have a, what really happened?Um, line which tracks what the villain is actually doing. And I do find that that can be really helpful because it does get overwhelming with figuring out, okay, we have assumptions. Yeah. And those assumptions are, you know, lead to action and this is how we get a repulsive plot. But those assumptions are.Not going to be the [00:40:00] actual thing that is the truth. And so we need to track what the truth is and what our villain is doing to stop our protagonist from stopping them because Yeah, forces of opposition, you know, so just for our listeners to clarify that makes sense. What Sam's talking about is a parallel inside outline is, is to literally do.An a three page outline for the, the villain? Yes, yes. Or to put a bullet point or a, a subpoint on the protagonists inside. Outline that. Tracks that, um, sometimes people color code that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, but the, that's why we keep this so tight because if you start making it nine pages or 15 pages and then you layer these things, all of a sudden you have a 30 page outline, and now you've just got one of those giant story grid things that I find to be impossible to, to manipulate.Like we still want this to be manipulatable, right. So that you [00:41:00] can. Hold it in your hands and see it and, and then get to a place where you say, I can write that story. I love this story. I can write this story. That's, so that's what we're going for. So, yeah. Um, Sam, could you maybe just summarize, um, Andrew will take some time to work on this next iteration to show me.Can you give him direction on key thing to think about and me direction on the key thing to look for? Yeah, of course. So the biggest thing is figure out what Seward's really, why he's really doing what he's doing and how it relates directly to Abby. Right. What is, what action can he take that is about her, and that's either protecting her or, you know.Um, killing someone close to her to scare her away, but then why, right? Mm-hmm. So figure out the, figure out what he's really doing, and then look and see what actions, what other actions would he take about who this other person [00:42:00] is that he's framing or manipulating, or blackmailing or whatever. And if that's a vampire, then.You know, why does that work when we, when it's revealed? Like, what else could be going on? That makes sense. Perhaps the vampires don't want women and suffragettes to have this power because it threatens the power that they have in society currently, or something like that, or mm-hmm. Whatever it is. But figure out what, what's really going on.That's your homework, that's your big homework. Mm-hmm. And then, you know, for the next iteration. More murder on the page, right? We need the attention to rise and we need to understand why Abby, as she takes her steps based on assumptions, what are those assumptions? Why is she so personally invested in this?Why doesn't she just give up, right? Because that's the big logical question that I always ask is for both the antagonist and your protagonist, why don't they just walk away? Why do they keep doing this when it gets hard, right? Because when someone's actively trying to [00:43:00] stop you as the protagonist is. For the antagonist, why would the antagonist not just be like, okay, this is too tough, right?Like, I'm, I'm out, uh, this is, my goal isn't going to be achieved. So why do they both keep going? And the answer is usually we're in too deep, right? We can't, the only way out is through, um, which is what the midpoint establishes. Usually. It's like, well, shoot, you know, I can't leave this story. I have to keep going.Right? So the three twists, right? We want the assumptions to be present on the inside outline. So we have a midpoint twist. We have an inciting incident that presents the mystery story question, murder usually. Mm-hmm. And then climactic twist, who is this fake villain? And then final villain, Seward. And then final, final twist.Mina is actually involved, right? And has been protecting her the whole time or whatever, right? Yeah. Okay. So on the page, assumptions is second part of that homework, but you have to figure out what really happened in order to have the assumptions, which are Yeah, not [00:44:00] right. Yeah. So drawing, drawing out those two timelines of the, what, what actually happened, timeline, and then the assumptions, timeline and how they, well, the assumptions are gonna be on the page, right?Those will be on your protagonist inside outline, right? Because it, it informs her actions. And so everything you have about her fighting to go to med school and like all these things, all that works. All we're doing is just tweaking it a little bit so that the mystery is more. Front and center, and she's taking action based on, okay, I have this clue, what do I do?Now I have this clue. What do I do now? What stands in the way of each time I do this? Oops, I'm wrong about that. So what now? You know? Okay. And in the meantime it's clear that her personal stakes are rising and she is becoming a target. There's more attempts on her life and, and you know, then what? Right.Once you have a target on your back, you can't run. Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah. Make it scarier. That's your homework. Yeah, I do. I do. I have to put her in [00:45:00] peril. I have to put her in peril. Right? You do. Yeah. Yeah. And the final thing I'll mention about this is when you actually get to writing the way that you, even if it's, even if the actions are a little less intense, right?We don't actually have an assassin coming at her every page because we'd get bored with that. So through interiority, through inner thought, she's going to think about what she's scared of throughout the entire book. Mm-hmm. It's not just gonna be, oh, I assume this thing. It's like I assume this thing. And also I'm terrified because you know what, if this is about that, and that's how you create those red herrings too, is because she's going to make assumptions about what's happening, and those assumptions will be based in fear.Right. Love it. Right. That makes sense. Love it. That makes sense. Thank you. My God. You're so welcome. Love this story. Can't wait to read it. Are you still with us, Andrew? You're not. You're not walking away. Right. You're not like, I'm in too deep now. No. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Just past the midpoint. Yeah, I was gonna say good.Good. No, that's why, that's why I'm, that's why I'm grinning so [00:46:00] much. It's like, it's like, ‘cause we're talking about this as if it's an actual, real thing. It's not just, it's not just an idea that I've, I've, I've had and been, I've been telling my wife about this is an actual, this is an actual thing I'm talking with people about.Um, and so this is, this is real. This is. It is real. It's exciting. Um, we will, uh, see how this unfolds for Andrew and Sam, I just wanna thank you so much for joining us and talking about all this. Um, and I'm gonna tell our listeners that if you want this kind of twisty help, um, that's Samantha's website, which is samantha skull.com and that's SKAL.She has a really cool, um, very inexpensive twist. Course, which you can, um, take. It's just awesome. And it's, um, she got some blueprint stuff on there, all kinds of things. And you can learn also about the retreat that she runs with carrieSavage@shadowsandsecrets.com. And you can go to Thriller [00:47:00] Fest and see all of the big work she's doing for this community of writers out in the world.So Sam, thank you for coming on. Oh, thank you so much for having me. And I just wanna say, Jenny, the reason that I focused, I mean, yes, I love this stuff and I have, I've loved it my whole life, but I listened to you. This was your. To focus in on what I love and I did. And it's just the best I get to wake up every day and talk about murder, which sounds like a terrible hobby, but I love it.So here we are. I know. That's why I talk about you all the time. Maybe that's it. ‘cause you listen toI, I, uh, I push people a lot harder now, let's put it that way. Um. Amazing. That's, that is my craft. But thank you Andrew, again, for being so willing to be doing this in public. It's not easy for those listening just to be on the hot seat like this for so long, so often really hard. So, um, you, [00:48:00] huge, huge shout out to Andrew and shout.Um, just for our listeners, thanks for tuning in and let's get back to work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

Exeter, New Hampshire. September 3rd, 1965. An 18-year-old kid, two veteran police officers, and an entire community faced something that forced the Pentagon to officially label it: unidentified.2:24 AM: Norman Muscarello bursts into Exeter Police Station white as a ghost. Massive object with pulsing blood-red lights drifted silently toward him over Route 150. He dove into a ditch. No sound. No engine. Just brilliant red lights rotating in sequence.Officer Eugene Bertrand (Korean War Air Force veteran, aerial refueling specialist) drives him back to calm him down. Then horses start screaming. Object rises above tree line. Bertrand grabs his .38. "My God. I see the damn thing myself."Officer David Hunt arrives. All three watch impossible maneuvers: dead stops, 90-degree turns, silent hovering. Hunt: "A B-47 came over. You could tell the difference. There was no comparison."Air Force says Operation Big Blast training exercise. Bertrand wasn't buying it. He knew what B-47s looked like, what six jet engines sounded like. This made no sound. Witnesses launched letter campaign to Pentagon.February 9th, 1966: Office of the Secretary of the Air Force officially retracts identification. Case status changed to UNIDENTIFIED.But there were others. Woman on Route 101 followed for twelve miles. Man in Hampton phone booth: "flying saucer nearly hit me." Line went dead. Never heard from again.Journalist John Fuller mapped every sighting. They followed the 345,000-volt power grid. Objects hovering feet above towers. Two months later: Great Northeast Blackout. Glowing objects near transmission lines during cascade failure.Sixty years later, nobody's explained it.PROJECT: Jackalope, File 003: The Exeter UFO Incident.

AVM Burst in the Brain: A Recovery Story of Patience, Aphasia, and Finding Your Way Back Jennifer Tomscha was 39, driving her three-and-a-half-year-old daughter home from preschool, when an AVM burst in her brain. She felt a wash of dizziness first. Then her vision started collapsing on the right side. She pulled onto a narrow verge on the highway between Greytown and Carterton in New Zealand, tried to reach her husband, got no answer, and dialled 111 instead. When the dispatcher asked what was wrong, she said something she still can’t fully explain: “I think I’m having a stroke.” She didn’t know yet that she had two arteriovenous malformations in her left frontal lobe — one discrete, one diffuse. She didn’t know that within hours she’d be helicoptered to Wellington Hospital for an emergency craniotomy, or that the following Monday a neurosurgeon named Dr. Woon would spend thirty hours trying to remove both malformations from her brain. She just knew something was wrong, and that her daughter was in the back seat, and that she couldn’t keep driving. That moment — pulling over, self-diagnosing, refusing the urge to simply lie down and rest — may be the reason she’s alive. What happens when an AVM bursts in the brain An arteriovenous malformation is a tangle of abnormal blood vessels that connects arteries directly to veins, bypassing the capillary network that normally regulates blood flow. Most people with an AVM never know they have one. But when an AVM bursts in the brain, blood floods into surrounding tissue at high pressure, and the consequences are almost always severe: haemorrhagic stroke, seizures, sudden neurological deficits, and in many cases, death. Jennifer’s first surgery controlled the bleeding. The second, five days later, was supposed to remove both malformations. It didn’t go as planned. The surgical team discovered that blood flow to the first AVM was feeding the second one, causing the brain around it to swell. Dr. Woon had to make an impossible decision in the middle of the operation: let her die, or remove a portion of healthy brain tissue along with the malformation. He chose to keep her alive. The surgery took thirty hours. When it was finally over, he called her husband and said, “Well, you’ll be lucky if she talks.” The six weeks she can’t remember Jennifer has no memories of the first six weeks after her AVM burst. She was in a medically induced coma for the surgery, then in intensive care, then transferred to rehabilitation. Everything she knows about that period has been told to her by other people. When her memory started returning, she found herself in a rehabilitation ward in Masterton, using adult nappies, unable to sit up in bed. The front of her skull had been removed and wouldn’t be replaced for months. She wore a protective helmet whenever she walked. And yet — she insists — she felt fine. [Quote block — mid-article] “I kept saying, ‘I’m okay, I’m fine. You guys should just take it easy around me.’ But of course, I wasn’t really fine.” — Jennifer Tomscha The honest recognition of what had happened to her didn’t come for almost two years. It took that long for her brain to have enough capacity to think about her brain. The myth of the one-year recovery window Most stroke survivors are told, either directly or by implication, that the first year matters most. That after twelve months, improvements slow. That after two years, you’ve plateaued. Jennifer’s experience — and the experience of nearly every long-term survivor interviewed on this podcast — contradicts that narrative. Four years after her AVM burst, she is still discovering what recovery means. Her academic writing, once her profession as the Director of the Writing Program at NYU Shanghai, doesn’t flow the way it used to. She can’t recall songs from memory anymore, or sing the ones she used to sing. Her aphasia shows up most at night, when she’s tired. She still takes an afternoon nap most days. But she’s also finishing a PhD. She can read as well as she ever could. She’s speaking, articulately, in a podcast interview eighty minutes long. And the parts of recovery she thought had stopped improving are, quietly, still improving. What Jennifer wants other survivors to know Her advice, offered near the end of the conversation, is short and unsparing: “You can rest, and that’s okay. You can be as slow as you want to be, and that’s also okay. But don’t give up. Just keep going — at whatever pace feels right.” It’s a rejection of both the productivity culture that tells survivors to push harder and the clinical culture that tells them to accept their limits. Recovery, for Jennifer, isn’t a race against a deadline. It’s a long, patient process of finding out what comes back and learning to live fully with whatever doesn’t. Bill’s book and community If Jennifer’s story resonates with you, Bill Gasiamis’s book — The Unexpected Way That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened To — explores the same territory: the slow, unexpected, sometimes beautiful work of rebuilding a life after a brain event. Get the book here Readers who want to support the podcast and connect with the community of survivors it serves can do so at Patreon. Support on Patreon This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan. Jennifer Tomscha: An AVM Burst in Her Brain at 39, and the Four-Year Climb Back to Herself She self-diagnosed her own stroke while driving with her daughter. Four years on, she’s still discovering what recovery really means. Highlights: 00:00 Introduction and Background 10:00 Reflections on the Experience 18:00 Long-term Effects and Adaptations 26:45 Identity and Self-Perception Post-Stroke 38:48 The Long Game of Recovery 51:07 The Journey of Recovery 01:03:42 The Evolution of the Podcast Transcript: Introduction and Background: AVM Burst in the Brain Jennifer Tomscha (00:00) Dr. Woon was my neurosurgeon. And he just said, I’ll never do another surgery like that ever again. it was really long. And I think he definitely had made me worse. Like they had taken out. too much of my normal brain. when he called my husband after the surgery was over, Dr. Woon said like, well, you’ll be lucky if she talks. he was just so discouraged from how the AVM surgery went. when I finally talked to him on Zoom. was so you And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I can. He was like, will you show me? and I walked up and down the room and he was like laughing so hard at my being able to walk. He was like so enthusiastic about it. Bill Gasiamis (00:44) Welcome back everybody. I am Bill Gassiomas and my guest today is Jennifer Tomche. In March, 2022, Jennifer was 39 years old living in New Zealand, finishing the first year of a PhD program when something happened to her brain that changed everything. What followed was a medical emergency unlike anything I’ve heard described on this podcast and a recovery story that quietly dismantles one of the most damaging myths in stroke survivor community. That after a certain point, the window for improvement closes. Jennifer is four years out from what happened to her. She still takes an afternoon nap every day. She still notices the edges of what her brain can and can’t do. And she is also finishing a PhD, raising two children and speaking with a clarity and warmth that will stop you in your tracks. This is a conversation about what it actually means to play the long game and why might be the most important thing any survivor can do. Before we get into it, if this podcast has been part of your recovery journey, I’d love for you to check out my book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened, at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. And a genuine thank you to everyone supporting this work on Patreon. If you wanted to support the show, you can go to patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. really helps me keep the conversation going. Let’s get into it. Bill Gasiamis (02:12) Jennifer Tomscha welcome to the podcast. Jennifer Tomscha (02:14) Thank you. I’m glad to be here. Bill Gasiamis (02:17) It’s lovely to have a local with me. Usually all my guests are from the United States or Canada or the United Kingdom. You’re just a hop, skip and a jump away in New Zealand. Jennifer Tomscha (02:20) Yeah. Mm hmm. Yep. Yep. I’m American originally, but we moved here in 2020. So ⁓ we I’m grew up in Iowa. And then and then I after but we were living in Shanghai for us for almost seven years, my husband and I were living in Shanghai and I was teaching at New York University, Shanghai and then when COVID happened in China. Bill Gasiamis (02:35) Where are we from in America? Jennifer Tomscha (02:54) they told us to leave the country because it was where it started. So, and we had two kids, so my husband didn’t want to go back to the United States. And so my sister lives in New Zealand. So we moved here and then we just stayed here. mm-hmm. So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (03:11) So in China, was it just a request? Was it a directive? What was the situation? Jennifer Tomscha (03:18) From New York University, they said if you weren’t a Chinese national citizen, they strongly urged us to leave because they just didn’t know how they were gonna manage it. everyone, mean, in China, they had had SARS in the early 2000s, so they had already had it. And so right away, everyone had their masks on. They were ready to… go and I was like, I want to get out of here. So we went to New Zealand and they also had a lockdown, but it was just for a month and then everyone could wander around because the virus was not here. we just stayed and I got into this PhD program. So that’s why we’re still in New Zealand. Bill Gasiamis (04:00) Wow. That kind of brings us to the first question I ask most people these days is what was life like before stroke? So there was a little bit of stuff going on. was, work in China. There was a bit of, ⁓ travel from the United States to China. was children, but daily life. What, what was that like before the stroke? Jennifer Tomscha (04:21) When I saw my stroke happened in March of 2022 and at that time I had been in my PhD program for about a year. And I was just finishing up my research proposal. And so I was doing that during the day and my kids were both at, I have an older son who was in second grade year two. And then I have a daughter who was in preschool. And so my days were I dropped them off at their schools and then I would work for a little while. And then I would. go and get them. So, and then they would come home and we would do all the other stuff in parenting. And my husband at that time was working at the library. So he had, he was at the libraries from nine to five every day. So he was at work. And that’s what, that’s what we were doing. Yeah. When I had my stroke. I was busy trying to finish up this research proposal. And then, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (05:14) 39 years old at the time as well. Jennifer Tomscha (05:16) Yes, was 39. Bill Gasiamis (05:18) any signs, any kind of inkling that something was not right. Jennifer Tomscha (05:23) I didn’t, weirdly, so I’m trying to think about, my whole life I’ve had this thing where if, especially at just certain points if I hit my, this is maybe nothing to do with anything, but if I hit my elbow or my wrist, then I would pass out. And sometimes I would have like a little seizure while I was passing out. So wasn’t just like a regular fainting, it was like a seizure. And I had some of those in high school and I actually went to the, hospital for those at one point and I think they didn’t know what that was and they just did an EEG. I don’t even think we had an MRI where I lived. So I didn’t really know and then that sort of passed. But I was feeling when I have a daily journal that I was writing and when I go back and read that daily journal, the whole, for a couple months ahead of time, I was like, I just feel kind of weird. I don’t feel great. I feel like a little bit sick and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. And at that time they were allowing COVID to enter New Zealand. They were putting it in. So I was like, I think I might have COVID, but I took a bunch of tests. They were all negative. And then my stroke happened on Tuesday, but the Friday before I was so sick. And then that weekend I was really sick too. And then I got, like, I kind of felt like I woke up, I felt really nauseous. And then I felt better on Monday and Tuesday. And Tuesday was when my stroke happened. So I think that was all, it was all, think, my body reacting to, I was probably bleeding in my head at that time or something. mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (06:57) I got it. And we’re to have to go back and talk about how it was that when you got hit on your, on your wrist and your elbow, how hard was the hit? Jennifer Tomscha (07:05) I don’t know. Not super hard, I just, I don’t know what, I actually don’t know, and maybe it’s nothing to do with it. You know, maybe it’s something else in my body that I am prone to fainting. But I don’t know, I don’t really know why that, and maybe it wasn’t anything like that. But I had one day when I was 16 and I passed out three times and that did seem kind of funny. And I went to the doctor and I passed out while I was at the doctor’s office. So they were like, there’s nothing wrong with you. So they put me to the hospital. They did the EG. stayed the night. And then they were like, there’s nothing wrong with you. So that was it. But I think if nowadays they probably would have done an MRI, maybe, and they would have seen that I had my AVM and my whole life would have been different because I wouldn’t have done all the stuff that I’ve done now. Like my mom was like, if we had known you had had an AVM, you would have gone to school. in Sioux City, you know, or we would have done something to keep you nearby because we would be worried about you. Instead, I was just like, doing whatever I wanted to, which is good. Bill Gasiamis (08:14) Laze, but that’s kind of good. But also I get the preventative thing. One of the, my former guests had a daughter who had an AVM and I think she was five when she passed away from a bleed in the brain because of an AVM. That’s horrific. And one of the, it’s actually worth listening to that episode and it’s worth me interrupting this right now to jump on and find that episode so that I can share it with people. And this particular lady has made it her life’s mission to raise money, get an MRI machine and do preventative scans for people in case they have an AVM or some other undiagnosed neurological condition. I think it’s Gina. Gina Keely. OK, it’s. And her ⁓ foundation is now called the Paige Keeley Foundation, it’s the most heartbreaking story. It’s episode 141 and I’ll have the link in the show notes and I’ll have it in the YouTube description. So for anyone listening, jump back and have a look at that. And also maybe even consider supporting the foundation because the story is heartbreaking and the efforts that this lady is going to ensure that this doesn’t happen to other people is just amazing. So. I wanted to, I raised that because I had a, in 2011, no, no, in 2010, about 18 months before my actual AVM bled, I had a really terrible negative episode, nauseous, room spinning, like all the signs of stroke, but completely missed the, completely missed Jennifer Tomscha (09:47) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (09:55) the AVM when I went and actually had an MRI. So yeah, I went to the hospital, gave them my, rundown of what was happening to me and they were so switched on and they got me in and they did all the tests, but they didn’t find anything because they didn’t know what they were looking for. And there was no obvious sign of bleeding. So they didn’t dig deeper. And I have a friend of mine who is a radiographer who actually did my MRIs Jennifer Tomscha (09:58) ⁓ really? Mm. Reflections on the Experience Bill Gasiamis (10:22) when I was in hospital being treated after my AVM burst in 2012. And he said to me, the preventative stuff is very difficult because if you don’t specifically know what you’re testing for, you don’t know how to set up the machine and how many slices that it needs to take and at what resolution. So that when you deliver that to the radiologist and they’re looking at it, can they see an AVM and then pass that on? Jennifer Tomscha (10:37) Mmm Bill Gasiamis (10:49) that information onto the neurologist. They might even miss it, even though they’re doing MRI. But what Jena is doing, it sounds like they’re specifically going after aneurysms, AVMs, other malformations, and therefore they have kind of this better opportunity to find it. So if somebody is considering getting a preventative scan of their brain, you have to be very specific. Jennifer Tomscha (10:53) Bye. Bill Gasiamis (11:14) with the team of doctors, radiographers, neurologists, as to what you want them to look for and make sure that they adjust the scan so that it’s fit for purpose. Jennifer Tomscha (11:25) That’s interesting. That’s really interesting. Bill Gasiamis (11:26) Yeah. So what was the day of the stroke like? Was it, you said you’re feeling better on that Tuesday. Jennifer Tomscha (11:34) Mm-hmm. I had a good day. I have like lots of notes from my research proposal and I went to pick up. I don’t know why I did it this way actually. I went, my daughter’s preschool is in our town, Greytown, and I went and picked up her first and then I went to get my son. His school is a Montessori school. It’s in one town north. And so I went and got her and we were driving in the car and when I turned onto the highway that connects Greytown and Carterton, I just felt like a wash of dizziness and I started losing sight, I think, in my right eye. And it’s seven kilometers from Graytown to Carterton. And right before we got into Carterton, I pulled over onto the side of the highway. I tried, so by that time I think I had lost most of the sight in my one, my right eye. And so it wasn’t very long actually. And so I tried to call my husband, he didn’t answer. And then I just called 111 and I was like, I don’t know why I was like, I think I’m having a stroke, but I don’t know why I even thought that actually. Do know what I mean? I just, was like, something is wrong with me. And so my daughter was fussing in the back and, I don’t really remember anything after that. I don’t remember the paramedics coming. I don’t remember talking to anyone. but so when they, I think the police came first and then Then the paramedics came and they said I was nauseous, but talking a little bit. But then they moved me into the ambulance and, I started, choking and, or something, and they had to intubate me in the ambulance. And then they took me in. I was helicoptered off to Wellington hospital. So. Bill Gasiamis (13:12) How did you feel about it? I know you did the right things. You nailed it. But how did you feel? What were you thinking? I was completely oblivious to the risk I was at or in. Jennifer Tomscha (13:14) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don’t know. just, let’s see, I think… I think when I was losing my vision, that was hard. I mean, I’m really lucky. There was a little ⁓ path on the side of the road right before you enter Carterton. So I pulled over there so I could still control the car. You know what I mean? I wasn’t so bad. And I could dial 111 on my phone. I could still think about those things. But it wasn’t very long after I dialed 111 and talked to those people that I’d that my memory is gone. So I think, I mean, I have spent a lot of time trying to like go back and figure out like, what was it? What could I have done early? know, like I was really lucky I was in the car, because honestly, because if I was at home, I might’ve like laid down and taken a nap and not called anybody actually, or called Dan and half have not answered. So then I could just see myself. Bill Gasiamis (14:14) you Jennifer Tomscha (14:22) It was actually really lucky that I was in the car with my daughter because it made me, I mean, I couldn’t keep driving very well. And so it made me pull over and it made me, I’d have to do something because I wasn’t in town. So I had to like figure out how I was going to manage the situation. And so I was really lucky actually that I was in the car and that I was in a public space where I was easy to find and like I could, so I felt like really lucky that all that happened. in that time period, but also that soul that my daughter was with me because it made me, I had this like parental responsibility that I had to, I couldn’t keep driving with her in the car. Like I just, I knew I had to do something and quickly. I feel like, I feel really lucky that that was the situation that I was in because I could see a different day where I didn’t go get the kids at that time. And I maybe would have tried to take a nap and it would have been totally different. So you know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (15:19) It’s such a common thing for people to go, oh, I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll just go lay down and have a rest and see if I can just get over it, sleep through it or whatever. yeah. And then it just leads to even more and more trouble or problems. The fact that you said, I think I’m having a stroke, right? That is so cool and bizarre and amazing. Jennifer Tomscha (15:29) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The guy was like, why? And I was like, well, I’m losing my sight. I was like, I mean, I don’t know how it was. I was like, why do you think you’re having a stroke? I was like, I don’t know. But there was something wrong. You know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (15:52) Yeah, that’s such a good question for me. Why do you think I’m going to strike? I don’t know, but I just came up with it. What? That was enough though. Like that was such a response from you to say, I think I’m having a stroke. It’s very, very rare that people get there, but the fact that you got there kind of gave, gave them also like an understanding of how to attend the site and what to do. Jennifer Tomscha (16:01) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (16:18) And that saves time as well. That saves a ton of time. Jennifer Tomscha (16:21) Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (16:23) and gets them, even though you may have been wrong, right? Gets them looking in the direction because they’re already got that in their mind. And then, well, let’s look at that first and then let’s suss it out. She might be completely wrong. But I walked into the hospital after my, while I was having the third blade and said, I’m having a brain hemorrhage or something like that. And I was in the hospital upright, standing, looking normal and Jennifer Tomscha (16:27) Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s true. That’s ⁓ Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (16:51) They were looking at me like, okay, what are you on? This guy, this guy must be on something because it doesn’t look like he’s having a stroke. And then I had to try and convince them, but I wasn’t giving them my contact details. So they weren’t able to bring up my record. And all they were saying was just give us your name, give us your name. We’ll put it in the system. We’ll have a look. And eventually they got it out of me and, ⁓ and I was right. But yeah, such a good thing. Jennifer Tomscha (16:54) Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh. no. Hmm. you Bill Gasiamis (17:21) I love those little bits and pieces that go well together because you often hear I often hear the bits and pieces that didn’t go well and and it turned out differently and how old was your daughter at the time? Yeah, wow. Jennifer Tomscha (17:30) Mm-hmm. She was three and a half. And so she was still in the backseat, know, backwards in her car seat. And then we stopped and she was like, why are we stopping or whatever in her three and a half year old voice? And I was like, I just had to make a couple of phone, you know, I don’t know what I said to her. And then I think when the police came, she was asleep. Like she fell asleep back in the car. then, and then. It’s just, I, I’ll, so then for the next six weeks I don’t have any memories of anything. So all, all of the information has been given to me by other people. But, so, yeah. Long-term Effects and Adaptations Bill Gasiamis (18:04) So was quite a large blade after all of that. Jennifer Tomscha (18:06) Yeah, it was large. They took me, so I flew in the helicopter from Masterton to Wellington and I think they, by then my sister had gotten to the hospital and they, yeah, I think they said, yeah, they did an emergency, is it craniac? Or what’s the? Bill Gasiamis (18:25) Craniotomy, Jennifer Tomscha (18:26) Yeah, they did an emergency cradionomy and they saw that I was bleeding. And then they saw that I had this large left frontal or frontal lobe AVM. So, and then they said that at that moment they couldn’t tackle that AVM. So they, controlled the bleeding and then they, and they left my skull out and then, yeah. And then, then they, they talked to the neurosurgeon and He, that was a Tuesday and he said, why don’t you, I was in a coma, just keep her in a medical coma. And then Monday they would do the, the, the surgery to get rid of the AVM. Bill Gasiamis (19:05) And then that surgery happened. Jennifer Tomscha (19:07) That happened and it was, had my, actually had two AVMs. One was really discreet and they could see all the endings of it. And the other one was diffuse. I don’t really understand it, but, the neurosurgeon said there was like parts of regular brain in and around the AVM. I don’t really understand how that happens, but, ⁓ so they started in the morning and they did, they got rid of the one AVM. They were taking it out. And then something about the blood vessels that had some of they had been putting blood into that AVM. They then started feeding into the other AVM. So then that AVM made my brain sort of swell where that AVM was. And so the neurosurgeons had to decide if, mean, basically it was like, let me die. because they couldn’t do anything about it, or they would get rid of that AVM and they would just take out the brain that was, the normal brain that was in the regular AVM. So they took, they decided not to let me die, thank goodness, and they decided to do that. so, but it was really long surgery, it was 30 hours, I think they just didn’t, yeah, it was really long. And… And I think Dr. Woon was my neurosurgeon. And he just said, when he went and sewed my head back together, he didn’t think I was listening, but I was in the other room and I could hear him after I had my skull put back in. And he was like, I’ll never do another surgery like that ever again. it was too, it was really long. And I think he definitely thought that he had made me worse. Like they had taken out. too much of my normal brain. when he called my husband after the surgery was over, like they didn’t call him. Dan, my husband was waiting for the whole 30 hours and they only called him one time at like 11 o’clock that night. And they were like, we’re finishing up. But then they had all this other stuff happen. So they didn’t actually call him again until noon the next day. And Dr. Woon said like, well, you’ll be lucky if she talks. Because we had to take out. he was just so discouraged from how the AVM surgery went. And so, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (21:24) Dr. Woon needs to give himself way more credit. Jennifer Tomscha (21:27) I know, I know, I also think that. I also think that, I mean, it’s, I mean, neurosurgeons, they’re, it’s amazing that you could, I’ve just, it’d be so weird if your job was to cut people up and go into their brains and try and fix something in that organ, which is so mysterious, do you know? Like, yeah, so. Bill Gasiamis (21:48) Wow. 30 hours. So he also is thinking in his career, he’s probably never going to come across another 30 hour surgery. Yeah. Well, only if it’s necessary to make somebody better, but yeah, we definitely want to avoid that if we can for every human on the planet and for Dr. Woon, but I just, I’m just completely in awe of these people. I bumped into my surgeon last year. Jennifer Tomscha (21:57) I hope not. mean, I hope, you know, yeah, I don’t think, yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (22:15) because I had another MRI, because I had another bout of headaches and all that kind of stuff. still, you know, it hasn’t ended. I still go through all these things. And I mean, I mean kind of, I get emotional when I’m around her and when I’m in the room with her. If she told me to jump off a cliff because there is something positive down there and I would do it. If she said, if she said punch a hole through that wall, I would do it. Like I would do whatever she said because Jennifer Tomscha (22:20) no. Yes. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (22:44) I just cannot get over the, know, when, you know, when you make a decision, some people, my phone is weird. I’ve never done this before, but you have a piece of fabric and it’s got some lines on it. And you know, if you cut it wrong, that you can’t use that piece of fabric for that pair of trousers anymore. You’ve got to use it for something else. Like that’s a pretty mild problem to happen. Like you cut wrong, you go in the wrong place. You pop that aside and. You’re useful. If you do that to a human, there’s no going back. And you’ve got to make that decision every single time you walk into the operating theater. And imagine his family. Like, I feel like we need to reach out to his family and say, is there anything we need to make up for? I know we had your husband for 30 hours, but like, how can we support your family now that he’s done that for my family? Jennifer Tomscha (23:40) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (23:40) Do you know, like it’s so interesting that these people have been able to get to that level of capability. Jennifer Tomscha (23:49) Yes. Bill Gasiamis (23:50) with humans and helping people stay alive and be here with their family, be a mom, be a wife, be a daughter, be a member of the community. Jennifer Tomscha (23:51) Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep, exactly. It’s just, it’s amazing. It’s just so, and I’m so grateful to him and he had another neurosurgeon working with him and yeah, it did, I mean, yeah, it’s amazing. I always think though, I’m trying to think about like, did, why, if he cut out those parts of my brain, why weren’t they, why? I mean, I have some things I can’t do that I could do before. Like I can’t, this is so weird. I can’t recall songs very well and I can’t sing songs from memory, like at all. Like that part of my brain is done, which is fine, but I used to sing a lot. but I think because if the AVM is there when you’re in your, if it’s there when you’re in your mom’s womb, like if you’re, when you’re developing. It’s probable that my brain was like, there’s a little issue here in this brain. We’ll move some of the stuff away from, don’t you think that would be, yeah, because I just think like, I think where my AVMs were, my brain was like, we’re gonna move, we’re not gonna put stuff by those AVMs because yeah, because your brain is really adaptable. Like that’s one of the things that I’ve been reading since I had my stroke. Bill Gasiamis (24:59) Wow. Yeah, I’ve never thought about that. Why not? That makes sense, Jennifer. Because it’s… Yeah. Jennifer Tomscha (25:18) My mom’s like, your brain is so adaptable and flexible and it can do different things. You just have to try doing things, you know, and failing. Bill Gasiamis (25:26) And the blood flow is not right. So you imagine with blood flow not being right, then the brain’s not developing correctly in that spot anyway. And it’s just developing where there is blood flow. Jennifer Tomscha (25:37) Yes, exactly. Exactly. I just I feel like that makes sense to me. And that’s why if you’re the neurosurgeon, I mean, you really don’t know. Like Dr. Woon didn’t know what was there. But I just feel like maybe my brain when it was developing was like, well, this isn’t a good spot and this other spot isn’t a good spot. So we’ll just do everything in a different place. And the brain is really you can really do that. I think your brains are really plastic in the way that they can order themselves. And so I So it’s still all Dr. Woon. I’m just so grateful to him and everything that he did. Because honestly, I feel like I come from the States. I don’t know that a neurosurgeon, I just don’t know how long a neurosurgeon would have, they might be like, I’m done, I can’t do this anymore. I just don’t really know. It just all depends on the doctor and who sees you and everything. So I just felt so lucky to have been here. Bill Gasiamis (26:30) Imagine doing a 30 hour shift on any day for anything. Jennifer Tomscha (26:34) No. And the thing about neurosurgery is like you’re in, I mean you’re doing like, you’re in a microscope or whatever doing that little and you’re tying off a little blood vein and I don’t know, it’s nuts, it’s so nuts. mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (26:39) them. Identity and Self-Perception Post-Stroke Yeah. And they talk about, you know, how dangerous it is to drive when you’re off a take when you haven’t slept, when all those things. And these guys are going for 30 hours and they’re doing the most intricate, life altering surgery and it all goes perfectly well. So how wrapped was he when he realized how well it went. Jennifer Tomscha (27:09) I didn’t talk to him until June, so that was at the end of March. And then I was in the ICU for a while. then they moved me to Masterton and I did rehab. And then I went to this last clinic, this ABI, this brain clinic for people who had brain injuries. And that’s when I finally talked to him on Zoom. And he was like, so can you walk? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course I can. He was like, will you show me? and I walked up and down the room and he was like laughing so hard at my being able to walk. He was like so enthusiastic about it. I was, you know, I mean, we can talk about this too. was, everyone was like, when I finally have my memory back, I was in Masterton and I was using a diaper. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t step in bed, but I remember being, actually, ⁓ I remember being like, I’m fine. I’m fine. Everyone is just fussing over me. But of course, they were right too. Do you know what I mean? But I was like, I’m okay. Everyone needs to just like, let me just relax around me. And everyone was like, everything I did, they would be like, you know, I couldn’t feed myself. And then, you know, there’s all this stuff. And I was like, I’m really okay. You guys should just. take, like, I’m fine. I kept saying that, like, I’m okay, I’m fine. You guys are all. But of course, I wasn’t really fine, but I felt like, Bill Gasiamis (28:36) It sounds like you weren’t physically there yet, but you were emotionally and mentally fine. Like it sounds like you were on the, you kind of knew that things were going to turn out or. Jennifer Tomscha (28:48) I think so. I think, or maybe, I always think like maybe you can only manage so much. like at that time I had my front part of my skull was gone because it had been taken out when they did both my surgeries. And so I had to wear like a rugby helmet or whatever when I walked. But otherwise I would sit in my room and it looked terrible. It’s just so terrible. but I just didn’t really recognize that. Like I didn’t, wasn’t, I couldn’t do all the things at once. So I think I was just thinking about like, and finally at the middle of May, my mom and sister, I still had my like long hair in the back and short in the front. So my sister was gonna cut the long hair in the back. And I saw myself in a mirror and I was like, that doesn’t look very good. You know, like I wasn’t, I don’t feel like I was totally aware. I wasn’t, my brain wasn’t. totally back in it. It’s a long time to recover and I feel like my brain only gave me, I don’t know, I felt like I couldn’t think about my own brain, maybe for like a year or something, really think about it in a second order way. Bill Gasiamis (29:59) allow yourself to kind of observe your state, your brain condition. Jennifer Tomscha (30:02) Yes. Yes, I think I was like, it was like that my it was like maybe in October of the next year, October of 2023, where I was like, Oh, I can think about my brain and what it is in a way that I couldn’t. Because I don’t know, you have to go through, you just have to relearn a lot of stuff. But I didn’t like I’m lucky, like, it didn’t affect my reading, so I could read right away. I’m not a very good writer, like, I don’t have good handwriting anyway, and my handwriting still maybe isn’t as good as it was before I had my stroke, but, yeah. I feel like, felt like, the actual healing was a longer process than I thought it was going to be, especially right when I first woke up, because I was like, I’m fine, but I wasn’t really fine, actually. Do you know what I mean? Bill Gasiamis (30:55) 100%, they can make doctors and neurosurgeons do a 30 hour surgery, find that part, fix it, ta-da-da-da-da, do all those things, but they can’t make a helmet for God’s sake look half decent after they’ve taken your skull out. Like as if it’s bad enough, have skull missing and then they put this terrible looking thing over your head. Jennifer Tomscha (31:11) No. It’s true. It’s true. It’s true. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (31:22) And I know for women like hair is a big deal and become. Jennifer Tomscha (31:27) It was really, I have always liked my hair and it was, I had short hair for about a year and a half maybe, you know, and I started growing out more and that was a little bit hard. I felt like that’s really vain, but I was like, man, I just did not like that short hair. Cause it’s not very, I don’t know. I just, wanted my old hair back. So I was lucky that it came back though. You know, everything, it’s not cancer. It’s a different thing. So you have a different, you know. Bill Gasiamis (31:51) I never would have told you that your hair didn’t look good, but my favorite hair is brunette curly hair. Yeah. My wife is a brunette naturally and she has curls in her hair and she straightens it all the time. I haven’t seen her brunette curly hair for 30 years. Jennifer Tomscha (31:57) Thank you. ⁓ yeah. no. Bill Gasiamis (32:13) I’m like, woman, that’s what I like. Like that’s my thing. you stop straightening your hair, but I can’t get it to stop. ⁓ Jennifer Tomscha (32:20) Yeah, that’s fine. Everyone has to do what they want with their hair and everything. you know, that’s something that one thing I think about my stroke is you just got to go live your life. Like you can’t and you’ve done that beautifully. You know what I mean? Like this podcast is amazing. it’s just like, you just got to go do what feels good for you at the time and what you want to do and just do it. and stop saying no, or you know what I mean. Bill Gasiamis (32:49) I’m trying. am. know exactly what you mean. One of the biggest things is identity is a big, big thing. And I don’t talk about me so much. I’ll talk about what happened to me, my stroke journey, but I don’t really give people a look behind the curtain. You know, sort of really understand what’s going on. This is just all a facade. And one of the challenges that I have is this painting company that I started 20 years ago was the main source of income. And it stopped abruptly seven years in when I became. Jennifer Tomscha (33:02) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Great. Bill Gasiamis (33:17) and it sort of still kept bubbling along. And then I got back to it in 2019 because my clients were still calling me and I was well enough after seven years of going through stroke and all the stuff of surgery, learning to walk again and all that. I was good enough to sort of get back into it. And of course in 2019, I only had six months and then we were in lockdown. And then in lockdown, we had two years of lockdown in Melbourne, and then I’m trying to keep that thing going again. And then there was this massive influx of work after lockdown because everyone’s going, I’ve been looking at these walls for two years. They look terrible. Let’s get them painted. They had spare money because they hadn’t spent anything for two years. And that was like, let’s do this and let’s do that. And there was this massive amount of work for about 18 months. And then that was done. It was gone. And it’s been a steady decline since as soon as Trump opened his mouth and did something in Iran and said what he said, and he plummeted like we’ve got no work. And I’m okay to have no work because I’ve been there before and we’ve managed our affairs so that we’re okay. But I can’t employ people right now at all. That’s gone. And getting people back and starting that again is going to be extremely difficult because the curve Jennifer Tomscha (34:27) Yeah. Mmm. Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (34:36) is not it’s not going to be a sharp dip and then it’s going to be a big spike of work and demand and all that kind of stuff. this podcast has been my saving grace every time I’ve needed to occupy myself with a project and make it so that I’m not thinking about me. The podcast was there. I did. I did an interview. It got me over the line. But now the biggest void that’s going to occur is not that I’m going to Jennifer Tomscha (34:47) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (35:05) potentially not have work in this field and after shut it down, which is gonna be fine if I do that, I’m okay with that. I’ll kind of pass it on to my younger son who’s looking to do some work in a similar space. I’ll give him the phone number and he’ll be able to take those types of inquiries and then he’ll do it on his own, like very small, the way I started at the beginning. And is that I’m gonna have all the time in the world. Jennifer Tomscha (35:23) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (35:29) on my hands to do the thing that I’ve been avoiding doing because I had this business that relied on me and the thing was to do public speaking. Right. And to actually do it the way that I’ve wanted to do it for more than a decade, which was to talk about the topics that I want to talk about, which no one’s talking about post-traumatic growth, overcoming trauma, how that’s applicable in organizations. Jennifer Tomscha (35:38) yeah, yeah, Mmm. Bill Gasiamis (35:56) how to treat people better in an organization so they have less mental health issues, so they have less physical issues, so they’re sick less, so they enjoy their work, so they’re not hating their life. And now I’m going to have all the time in the world to do it. And I’m shitting myself. That’s the biggest issue, right? So that’s a little bit of a look behind the curtain. I am loving this. This is an amazing thing. And I do remember when I first started it, I was concerned about what people would say about me. You’re going to sound dumb, Bill. You you’re not going to, you know, what authority do you have? All those kinds of things, they were coming up in my head. And then when I wrote the book, the same thing, I wrote my first book, The Unexpected Way That a Strike Became the Best Thing That Happened to Me. Everyone has said, don’t write that book. Don’t write that. Jennifer Tomscha (36:27) Mm. Bill Gasiamis (36:39) Don’t let that be your title. It’s bizarre, it’s weird, like it’s strange, it’s too long and all these things. So I did it. And of course, the first time I spoke about it on YouTube, one of the first comments was a negative comment on my YouTube channel. It’s like, ⁓ okay. My God, that’s a kick in the guts. Jennifer Tomscha (36:44) really? ⁓ yeah. Bill Gasiamis (37:03) So those little kicks in the guts that I’ve had along the way have been few and far between, but they’re the ones that seem to persist the most. And they stay in that part of your head, which says, you know, that public speaking gig, you’re probably going to do the first one and they’re going to say you were terrible. And then you’re to feel all sad at 52 about, you know, yourself and all these things. Jennifer Tomscha (37:15) Yeah. you Bill Gasiamis (37:29) how you’re going to overcome that emotionally and mentally and all this kind of stuff. It’s like, Bill, relax. You’re gonna have time to build your new career at 52. You’re gonna have time to do it. So that’s like, all right. I find myself getting pushed into a corner and only then responding with, all right, all right, I better step up again. I better do this again. Jennifer Tomscha (37:33) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (37:58) Very strange, re-imagining yourself and recreating yourself after stroke is a huge thing because you’re also doing it with a stroke brain. Whereas before I had no excuses, I was doing it still. Like the pattern is the same. The stroke brain part of it is an obstacle that I wish I didn’t have, but somehow this stroke brain part has made me do things I’ve never done before. Jennifer Tomscha (38:14) You The Long Game of Recovery Bill Gasiamis (38:27) a podcast, a book. You know, I was a tradie. I was like, I didn’t study. didn’t read. In my, by the time I got to the age of 37, honestly, Jennifer, I reckon I’d read maybe seven books. And they were about this criminal underworld figure in Melbourne who had this, who had this career and of being like really terrible and somehow. He was the thing that I was interested in reading about. Like that’s the only thing that captured my imagination. Everything else, everything else I picked up from listening to podcasts or watching shows on TV and that kind of stuff. So I wanna just, I wanna make people understand that the battles that you’re fighting, I’m fighting, it’s real. Like you’re not doing it alone. Everyone’s fighting this. How do I reimagine myself? Jennifer Tomscha (38:56) Bye! Bill Gasiamis (39:20) after stroke, you know, I don’t tell people I’m an author. Still, this book has been out for three years. I’ve had amazing reviews. I’ve had a couple of, you know, negative reviews and that’s okay. I’m not, I’m not an intellectual. I haven’t, I’ve never studied how to write literature, any of that stuff. And it’s sold about seven or 800 copies just through the podcast. Jennifer Tomscha (39:21) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That’s pretty good. That’s actually quite a bit, I feel like. It’s quite a bit, actually. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (39:47) I feel like to like I don’t promote it. I don’t tell anyone about it just in the podcast. And it’s like, I still don’t say I’ve authored a book. Nobody knows. Jennifer Tomscha (39:56) You should say it. mean, I do think the what are you going to do after you have a stroke? How are you going to do it? It’s all very strange and scary, I think. And like, yeah, I, I totally get your feeling about it. And it’s just really tricky to know what is the You know, for me, I feel like I was in middle of my PhD, so I took 22 months or 20 months off of doing the PhD just to rest. And then I went back in and it was, it is still, it was really hard. I like, wasn’t very good at figuring out how to write in the academic way. Which was my position. I was director of the writing program at NYU Shanghai. So I was like, that was my thing. And it was very hard to figure out how to return to do the critical work of my thesis. was just, it’s just, I don’t know, my brain just couldn’t figure out how to do it right. It was really interesting. was like, the sentences I was writing weren’t as good. They probably still aren’t as good. You know, like when I look at what I was writing before I had my stroke, which is part of my thesis, and then the stuff I wrote after my stroke, I feel like I can tell a little bit of a difference in the fluency of my writing, for sure. So, yeah. And I just, so… Yeah, I don’t know. It’s tricky. It’s tricky to figure out. But I was really lucky, actually. I think the PhD was helpful because… I could just go at it on my own time and I could just take however much time I needed. And I, I had a deadline. but it was good to just, it was actually like a really good place to start to work my brain again, to be like, okay, I have to, I’m going to write on this author and what she thinks about character. And I’m just going to, and I have these other texts that I’m interested in and I have to figure out how I’m going to. Represent them in my own work. And so it was really good to do all that. It was a good stepping stone for me I think actually to get back into it and to see What I could and couldn’t do very well, like I feel like I’m a really good reader. I’m a really good Critic and I’m not so good at ⁓ writing down what I think anymore as well So I’m just I really have to work on and I don’t know how you get it back like Bill Gasiamis (42:26) articulating Jennifer Tomscha (42:28) Yeah, articulating what I mean and yeah, I feel like I can’t, I can’t say things as artfully or as proficiently as I used to. So I don’t know, this woman who is getting her PhD at Vic too, she’s like, she studies how people learn to read. And she was like, if you’re having problems with academic writing, you should get a, and I still haven’t done this, you should get an academic book and you should listen to it because a lot of learning to read is listening to how sentences sound. She was like, so you should listen to an academic book and that will help you think about how those sentences work and how they’re maybe different from like, I write fiction. So fiction is one thing and then this is a different way of writing. So she said that was one thing that she thought I should do to help. develop my proficiency in academic writing, which was really interesting. So. Bill Gasiamis (43:25) Yeah, it’s a different approach. You know, it’s coming from the auditory, you know, system and therefore the auditory digital system. Therefore you go in and you you, you pick up nuances that you wouldn’t have known were there if you’ve never heard an academic speak or if you’ve never read an academic document in that way. So you might read it. Jennifer Tomscha (43:28) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (43:51) to get something out of it. Like, okay, what is this academic saying about this topic? But that’s not paying attention to the structure of how it’s written. That’s a different filter. Jennifer Tomscha (43:55) Mm-hmm. No, exactly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Exactly. So I thought that was an interesting way to think about, like, how I could get better at that thing. That was, like, a really important thing for me. That, for some reason, it did just get a little bit, I don’t know, stunted? Or I don’t know what happened, you know? Or I just haven’t been in academia as much. So you know what I mean? So, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (44:17) Yeah. Yeah, 100%. The skill is not as refined or, or practiced as your other skills. So it’s not the thing that you’re the best at. and you’re getting better at it. The thing about it is also, may I add you’re only four years out from all the drama that you had with your brain. So there’s a lot of healing to happen that is going to improve. That’s going to get better and better. And in four or five years from now, you will have Jennifer Tomscha (44:29) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (44:49) turn the corner again, you’ll see that there’s more and more improvement. It’s really important for people to hear this, who are three, two, one, five, six years in, there’s still heaps of healing and recovery to come. So it’ll happen. Jennifer Tomscha (45:07) Yeah, that was something that my husband and I, in my first year after my stroke, he would be like, go to the gym. And he did. He, I went to the gym and I, had me lift weights and he wanted me to like exercise. And he was like, what are you doing to improve your mind and your body over this first year? And I was like, I’m, I’m again, I was like, I’m fine. I’m really fine. And, and, ⁓ he thought I wasn’t doing enough. Like he wanted me to just go at it with this intensity. I don’t know. was an, cause I was like, I am going at it with my own sort of intensity, but he wanted me to be more aggressive than I wanted to or something. You know what I mean? He wanted me to be like, he wanted to see me really working at it and like sweating or doing, you know what I mean? And I was like, I don’t wanna, I don’t know. Bill Gasiamis (45:59) He wanted it to be more masculine. Jennifer Tomscha (46:01) Yeah, I guess. And he’s not very masculine guy. I mean, he’s a masculine guy, but he’s like, he was just he just wanted to see me sweating it out or doing the really see my focus. And I just yeah. And that has been an issue because he’s like, yeah, he’s just like, are you going to work again? I was like, yes, I’ll work. I just don’t know what I’ll do. And I don’t know if I could do a full eight hour day right now. I still take a nap every day in the afternoon. So But yeah, it’s just, don’t, yeah, so. Bill Gasiamis (46:34) It’s easy for a caregiver to say that because they haven’t had a stroke. Thank God. Thank God. ⁓ Jennifer Tomscha (46:40) No, I know. Thank goodness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I mean, I feel really bad for Dan and my mom and my sister. Like, it’s actually worse to be the caregiver in some ways because you just, you don’t go through it. So you, you don’t really know what it’s like. Bill Gasiamis (46:55) I and you, and if you’ve got an imagination, a wild imagination, you could turn it into something completely way worse than what it is. And if you’re ignorant, which most family members and caregivers are, let’s face it. And that’s okay. Then you do the other thing. You play it down and you assume she should be going harder than that or Jennifer Tomscha (47:11) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (47:19) If I was, if it was me, I’d be doing that. But your brain has actually been injured and in that space, perhaps where motivation is for some people. And there is no way that you can make that person more motivated by willing them on or telling them to go to the gym or whatever. That could actually be missing the motivation part. So there’s a whole bunch of things that caregivers and family members miss. And it’s for me, it’s when I’m surrounded, when, when the people that are around me are Jennifer Tomscha (47:33) Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (47:46) ⁓ people who don’t want to engage deeply in those types of troubles, life and all that kind of stuff. they’re great people. They’re just like, emotionally they don’t go deep, right? They love it that there’s ambiguity around like what’s wrong with me. Cause they look at me, I look right. And then they just go, everything’s fine. He looks amazing. I feel better now. And when I’m around him, I can just talk about dumb stuff. Jennifer Tomscha (48:07) Mmm, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (48:14) And we can talk about things that are not important and everything’s fine. And it’s kind of like head in the sand. It’s a, you know, one step, one emotional step removed from the actual goings on. And it kind of also helps me strangely enough, because then I don’t have to deal with their inability to handle actual life and the real things that are going on. Jennifer Tomscha (48:39) Mm. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (48:43) that can just be living in La La Land and I don’t have to deal with that level of complexity. So it’s kind of, they’re both situations are helping me in a way. Whereas at the beginning I was taking that negatively. The thing I do, the thing I would like to do is challenge caregivers to listen to the podcast, especially of the spouse who I’ve interviewed. Jennifer Tomscha (48:50) Yeah. Yeah, that’s true. Bill Gasiamis (49:09) You know, and then a couple more after that to get an insight so that they’re not guessing or second guessing or think they know better, et cetera. No doubt about it. they, know, they know some things about us that they can see that we’re not doing a pattern in behavior that we’re avoiding. Perhaps they know that part and all that type of thing. But we’ll say, we’re also dealing with a messed up brain. So have a bit of a kind of a Q Jennifer Tomscha (49:13) Hmm. Right, right. Bill Gasiamis (49:36) be curious about where that person’s coming from, not how you’re feeling about where they’re coming from. And that’s what family members and caregivers do. They make it about them. And I had to say a few times to people in my circles, like, it’s not about you. Jennifer Tomscha (49:43) Right. Ha Tomscha Tomscha! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bill Gasiamis (49:56) It’s actually really about me. cannot walk and I can’t use my left hand. It’s not about you. Like I know you woke up with a numb leg one day because you slept on it wrong, but it’s not the same. Jennifer Tomscha (50:05) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s funny. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (50:14) My wife was dragging my foot in the wheelchair. It had fallen off the, you know, the rest where your leg, your feet sit. It had fallen off and I hadn’t noticed. This is like day three or day four after brain surgery. And it was dragging underneath the footrest. And she noticed that the wheelchair wasn’t moving and she was shoving it until we realized. Jennifer Tomscha (50:22) higher. Bill Gasiamis (50:40) My foot was stuck underneath the rest and we had a laugh. that kind of like, that’s one of those, if those people were there and they saw that, they would realize like, it’s not about your numb leg when you slept on it weird one night. take your stuff and just, you know, park it for now. So it’s interesting. That’s kind of why I think I do this podcast. I think it’s for those Jennifer Tomscha (50:44) Yeah, yeah, Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Journey of Recovery Bill Gasiamis (51:08) people if they, I’ve never told them that they should jump on, but if they, for example, get curious one day and they want to know what it’s like to be in Bill’s head, pick one of the 400 episodes. Just have a listen. Jennifer Tomscha (51:09) Mmm. I have a question for you. you, this is something that, so you think you could just, you can keep improving from your stroke. There’s not like a deadline. There’s not like a couple of years or any. Bill Gasiamis (51:36) One of the things I learned from my wife and my brother, my brother is my biggest nemesis. You he’s older and he’s the most loving guy. He’s the most supportive guy, but he has a weird way of doing it. Just, you know, we’re different characters, right? So he just is a bit different in the way. one, one of the things my brother said was that I picked up, I reckon it was five, six years ago is he’s in it for the long game. Jennifer Tomscha (52:03) Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (52:04) When I was young, I had 20 jobs in 10 years. He said two jobs in 40 years or 30 in 30 years. So he just chips away, works away, works away, works away. This is an analogy, right? But also a true story. My wife started her, her, her master’s in psychology. She only started that a few years ago, but the whole. Jennifer Tomscha (52:08) Hmm. Hmm. Bill Gasiamis (52:28) journey to get to the Masters of Psych started in I think late 2011 or early 2011, about a year before I ended up in hospital. She is just now finishing the last part of her Masters degree and she found a job literally a week ago in her field two days a week. Jennifer Tomscha (52:35) Mm. Mmm. ⁓ Bill Gasiamis (52:56) to work as a provisional psychologist so that she can get the 1500 hours of work in the field before she actually gets her actual full psychology license. And I’m like, dude, I get it. So what you’re telling me is that if you just start and never stop, you’re gonna see some kind of progress. And I apply that to… Jennifer Tomscha (53:08) Right. That’s amazing. Mmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (53:27) stroke recovery. I know that people are dealing with far more deficits that perhaps you and I show visibly and that their hand may not specifically work the way that it always that they wanted it to work or that the way that it worked before. But that doesn’t mean the brain’s not continuously continuously healing that part of the brain might be gone. But as far as healing the parts around the brain that are still there, that’s continuing. Jennifer Tomscha (53:28) Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (53:58) And if, and, and one of the questions that I have for people is like, is what I’m doing supporting my recovery or is it hindering my recovery? Because I’ve met stroke survivors who have gone back to the smokes, who have gone back to alcohol. And if you’re doing things that are getting in the way of recovery, then you’re not allowing the brain to continuously do what it does best, which is overcome challenges, rewire. Jennifer Tomscha (54:05) Mmm. Bill Gasiamis (54:25) find new ways around, know, develop new neural pathways and adapt. And that’s kind of where I think it’s at adaption, right? And the great thing about understanding these days about neurodiversity and understanding what somebody with ADHD goes through is the one skill they’re really, really good at is adaption. Jennifer Tomscha (54:31) Mm-hmm. Mm, that’s interesting. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (54:49) because and people with dyslexia. my God, like some of the biggest, most wealthy billionaires on the planet had dyslexia. Richard Branson is a classic example of that. Yeah. And they adapt. They find a way to somehow overcome the normal world and be weird in the way that they see letters and what letters do and how they move on a page and all that kind of stuff because their brain adapts and they can just continuously improve their adaption strategy. Jennifer Tomscha (54:57) really? didn’t know that. Mm-hmm. Bill Gasiamis (55:17) to get to a point where no one knows that they have this condition. So that’s what I’m really passionate about. That’s why the podcast exists. I’ve interviewed in my 400 episodes, I’ve certainly interviewed stroke survivors who I’ve had improvement 10, 11, 12, 13 years post stroke, got a finger movement back. Yeah, got sensation back, something rewired. So yeah. Jennifer Tomscha (55:19) Right. Mm-hmm. really? That’s amazing. Yeah, becau

THE SECRET MOST PEOPLE MISS | April 26, 2026Guest Pastor Joey SarloPsalm 91:1 (NKJV)He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.We visit God… we don't dwell with Him.Psalm 91:2 (NKJV)I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”Isaiah 35:4 (NIV)Say to those with fearful hearts,    “Be strong, do not fear;your God will come,    He will come with vengeance;with divine retribution    He will come to save you.”We isolate… we don't stay connected.Psalm 91:3 (NKJV)Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence.Psalm 91:4 (NKJV)He shall cover you with His feathers,And under His wings you shall take refuge;His truth shall be your shield and buckler.We hear the Word… we don't live it out.Psalm 91:5-7 (NKJV)You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,Nor of the arrow that flies by day,Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.A thousand may fall at your side,And ten thousand at your right hand;But it shall not come near you.We entertain fear… we don't fight it.Psalm 91:11-13 (NKJV)For He shall give His angels charge over you,To keep you in all your ways.In their hands they shall bear you up,Lest you dash your foot against a stone.You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.We stay in safety… we don't step out in authority.Psalm 91:14 (NKJV)“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;I will set him on high, because he has known My name.We see what's in front of us… we don't see what God sees.Psalm 91:15-16 (NKJV)He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;I will be with him in trouble;I will deliver him and honor him.With long life I will satisfy him,And show him My salvation.”We carry it ourselves… we don't call on God.Jeremiah 33:3 (NLT) Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.

Don’t Let Your Emotions Drive Your Life 1. Who created emotions? Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (NIV) John 11:35 Jesus wept. (NIV) Luke 10:21 At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit. (NIV) 
Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens (NIV) 2. What are emotions?
 3. When should we manage emotions?
 Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. (NIV)  Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. (ESV) 4. Where should we position emotions in our lives? Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (NIV) James 1:19-20 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (NIV)

4A. Pause to identify the emotion
Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (NIV) 4B. Process why we’re feeling the emotion Psalm 42:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? (NIV) Psalm 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (NIV) 4C. Respond to the emotion with godliness James 1:20 human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (NIV) 5. Why do emotions exist? Psalm 22:1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me? (NIV) Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (NIV) 1 Thessalonians 5:23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. (NIV)

The book of Job is not an easy read. And it is deeply connected with Easter. Job's story is essentially a passion narrative in wisdom form. Job suffers unjustly, is abandoned by friends, and cries out to a seemingly absent God — mirroring Good Friday. Job refuses false comfort or tidy theology. He brings his raw anguish directly to God rather than suppressing it. His cries mirror Jesus' from the cross — “My God, my God, why have you forsaken

My GOD the twists and turns of this episode with our beloved Peru! Now, before you hit play, a few things to note: Some serious topics are discussed, including TherapyJeff (barf) and his suggestions of a hotline for those considering sexual assault, and a deep dive on the latest viral The Cut article where a friend cuts another friend off for discovering WEGOVY in her fridge. (Eating disorders are a topic here, in case that is upsetting to you.) But there are also a lot of uplifting stories, like Michelle's Cheesecake Factory/Bloomingdales saga that has the happiest ending of all (oh God, thinking about TherapyJeff again.) Plus, thievery is back!! One woman tracks her stolen bag down on Instagram, but not before doxxing a child, and Madonna's corset... whomst amongst you has it?! Buckle up bc controversy abounds today. (Dog sits upright on counter)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Send us Fan MailScriptures All NKJV Matthew 4:18-22 “And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” They immediately left their nets and followed Him. Going on from there, He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. He called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him. And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people. Then His fame went throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all sick people who were afflicted with various diseases and torments, and those who were demon-possessed, epileptics, and paralytics; and He healed them.” John 6:67-69 “Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?” But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”” ‭‭ Mark 8:29 “He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered and said to Him, “You are the Christ.”” ‭‭‬‬ Mark 8:32,33 “He spoke this word openly. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. But when He had turned around and looked at His disciples, He rebuked Peter, saying, “Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.”” ‭‭ Mark 10:35-37 35 Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Him, saying, “Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask.” 36 And He said to them, “What do you want Me to do for you?” 37 They said to Him, “Grant us that we may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on Your left, in Your glory.” John 18:10,11 Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant, and cut off his right ear. The servant's name was Malchus. So Jesus said to Peter, “Put your sword into the sheath. Shall I not drink the cup which My Father has given Me?” Matthew 26:55,56 In that hour Jesus said to the multitudes, “Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs to take Me? I sat daily with you, teaching in the temple, and you did not seize Me. 56 But all this was done that the Scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples forsook Him and fled. John 20:19 Then, the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were [a]assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.” Acts 4:8-12 Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers of the people and elders of Israel: 9 If we this day are judged for a good deed done to a helpless man, by what means he has been made well, 10 let it be known to you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole. 11 This is the ‘stone which was rejected by you builders, which has become the chief cornerstone.' 12 Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my [a]strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the [b]horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 56:3,4 Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. 4 In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?

The second week of the “Last Words” series focuses on Jesus' final words in the Gospel of Mark, revealing the depth and purpose of His suffering on the cross. Centered on His cry, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”, the passage highlights not only the physical pain Jesus endured, but the emotional, relational, and spiritual weight He carried in fulfilling His mission. By echoing Psalm 22, Jesus' words connect His present suffering to God's redemptive plan, showing that even in apparent abandonment, God's purposes are being accomplished. Ultimately, these final words are not just an expression of anguish, but a declaration of fulfillment—revealing that through His suffering, Jesus has secured victory and made a way for redemption for all people.   Note Guide: https://gpw.churchcenter.com/episodes/654416/notes

Sunday April 19, 2026 Main Point: On the cross, in literal and spiritual darkness, Jesus was truly forsaken by the Father so that sinners like us would never be. His agonizing question-"My God, why have You forsaken... for full notes: https://www.cgtruth.org/index.php?proc=msg&sf=vw&tid=3283

This message focuses on the question: "How are minds opened today?", which is part of our ongoing series: "What's the answer?"   Pastor explores how people's lives are changed and what changes their attitudes about God, about Jesus, the resurrection, and about the power of God's Word.   Pastor takes us through Luke 24:36-47, an encounter with Jesus that His disciples have with Him after His resurrection.  Jesus tells them: "This is what I told you while I was still with you; Everything must be fulfilled that is written about me in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms." Luke 24:44. He tells them everything written there points to Him.   Then next verse says, "Then He opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures." How did Jesus do that?  Let's look at Luke's clues …   Law of Moses Passover Lamb - Exodus 12. As protection from the tenth plague God told them He would passover their homes if they would take a lamb without spot or blemish, kill it, spread its blood on the doorposts of their homes, then roast and eat the lamb.  In Luke 22:15-16 Jesus tells His disciples: "I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover meal with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God."  What He is saying about the Passover is that HE is the one that will fulfill it as The Passover Lamb. The Passover is a preview of God's redemption through the shed blood of Jesus.   Blood of the Covenant - Exodus 24. Moses built an altar at the foot of Mt. Sinai and the Israelites pledged to follow God. Moses took the blood of bulls, sprinkled it on the altar and the people saying, "This is the blood of the Covenant that the Lord has made with you…" Exodus 24:8. What this is, again, is a preview of the coming Christ and the fulfillment being found in Him.  Luke 22:20 Jesus says, "This cup (passover meal glass of wine) is the New Covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you." This is just what Moses was showing was coming in Jesus.   Prophets  New Covenant - Jeremiah 31:31. God said that the days were coming when He would make a new covenant with the people of Israel and Judah and put His law in their minds and hearts and change them from the inside out! A Heart change!" Jesus says, "This cup is the New Covenant!"  Luke 22:20 Meaning He is the New Covenant.   Suffering Servant - Isaiah 53. "He was despised… He was pierced for our transgressions… the punishment that brought us peace was on Him… by His wounds we are healed… the Lord laid on Him the iniquity of us all… it was the Lord's will to crush Him… to make His life an offering for sin… He will see the light of Life (raised)… He poured out His life unto death and numbered with the transgressors."  In Luke 22:37 Jesus says, "It is written: 'And he was numbered with the transgressors' and I tell you that this must be fulfilled in me." He is the fulfillment of the Old Testament words.   Psalms Crucified Victim - Psalm 22. "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?… hands pierced… lots cast for his clothing…" Jesus speaks these very words from the cross: "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me."   Luke 23:34 we read, "and they divided up His clothes by casting lots." Jesus is the fulfillment of the words in the psalms.   David's Lord - Psalm 110. David wrote of the Messiah, "The Lord said to my Lord, sit at my right hand while I make your enemies a footstool for your feet."  Luke 20:41-44 We see Jesus using these very words to describe Himself.   How are minds opened today?  The same way today they were then: Encountering Jesus and seeing Him as the Risen Christ. The risen Jesus transforms people minds and brings relationship with the Living God. Encountering the Scriptures and seeing Jesus as the fulfillment of everything written about the Messiah in the Law, Prophets and Psalms. Encountering the scriptures changes us as we read them. Encountering the Holy Spirit. No one can believe without the Holy Spirit.   Luke 24 concludes with "This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem."  Today those words of Jesus continue to be fulfilled!   God our Father desires we repent and turn to Him so that our minds may be opened and our lives renewed forever.     Now What? Learn about God at https://www.awakeusnow.com EVERYTHING we offer is FREE.   Check out this video series from our website: https://www.awakeusnow.com/whats-the-answer   Join us Sundays  https://www.awakeusnow.com/sunday-service

My Lord and My God

Set Apart for Such a Time as This: The End Is Not Yet • Sunday Service To Give: www.ToddCoconato.com/give Website: www.PastorTodd.org Church, we are in a defining moment. The world is rumbling. Headlines scream war and chaos. There's fear in the air, confusion in the Church, and deception in the culture. But let me speak this over you prophetically: The end is not yet. We are not in World War III. We are not in the Tribulation. What we are in, is a season of separation. God is once again calling a remnant to rise. Not a popular people—but a set-apart people. Not those caught in the tides of the world, but those rooted in the Spirit of the Living God. We are entering a new phase—a time where deep trust in the Lord will be non-negotiable. His presence must be our oxygen. His Word must be our compass. And yes, this will require sacrifice. Some relationships won't come with us. Some comforts will have to die. But His glory is worth it. 1. Matthew 24:6–8 (NKJV) “And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows.” 2. Hebrews 12:26–27 (NKJV) “…yet once more I shake not only the earth, but also heaven. Now this, ‘Yet once more,' indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain.” 3. 2 Timothy 3:1–5 (NKJV) “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!” 4. 1 Peter 2:9 (NKJV) “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” 5. Romans 12:1–2 (NKJV) “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” 6. Psalm 91:1–2 (NKJV) “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.'” 7. 2 Corinthians 6:17–18 (NKJV) “Therefore ‘Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.' ‘I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.'” 8. Isaiah 60:1–2 (NKJV) “Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people; but the Lord will arise over you, and His glory will be seen upon you.” 9. Proverbs 3:5–6 (NKJV) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” 10. John 15:19 (NKJV) “If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” We are not in World War III. We are in a spiritual crossroad. The end is not yet. But the separation has begun. • God is separating wheat from tares. • He's calling His remnant to the secret place. • He's asking for trust, sacrifice, and obedience. • Some relationships won't survive this season. That's okay. • What matters is your alignment with the Spirit.

“My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?” — Psalm 22:1 We here behold the Saviour in the depth of His sorrows. No other place so well shows the griefs of Christ as Calvary, and no other moment at Calvary is so full of agony as that in which His cry rends the air […]

What is the meaning behind Christ's words from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me" (Matt. 27:46)? Today, R.C. Sproul soberly examines Jesus' cry of dereliction. Read the transcript: https://ligonier.org/podcasts/ultimately-with-rc-sproul/why-have-you-forsaken-me/ Study Reformed theology with a free resource bundle from Ligonier Ministries: https://grow.ligonier.org/ A donor-supported outreach of Ligonier Ministries. Donate: https://donate.ligonier.org/ Explore all of our podcasts: https://www.ligonier.org/podcasts

When the topic of spiritual practice comes up, what comes to mind? Going to a religious service? Connecting with nature? Meditating? There are so many ways to connect of a sense of something bigger than ourselves. There is one vital pathways that is sometimes overlooked: Connecting with each other. In today's episode, we're exploring how connecting with other people -- both real and imaginal, in our memories and in the here-and-now -- can help us grow stronger and softer, safer and braver, more present and more expansive. References: Other Gathering Gold and Conscious Transitions work: Gathering Gold episode on "Spiritual Longing" Sheryl's course "Open Your Heart: A 30-Day Course to Feel More Love and Attraction for Your Partner" Comedy John Mulaney on "Stranger Danger" Tig Notaro's "Hello, I have cancer" Quotes Mr. Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Maya Angelou: “I've had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows…..and one of the things I do when I step up on a stage, when I stand up to translate, when I go to teach my classes, when I go to direct a movie, I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me.” “Black, White, Asian, Spanish-speaking, Native American, Gay, Straight, everybody. I say come with me — I'm going on this stage. Come with me. I need you now. Long dead….you see.. so I don't ever feel, I have no help.” “I've had rainbows in my clouds.and the thing to do it seems to me… Is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow in somebody else's cloud." William Blake: “I sought my God and my God I couldn't find; I sought my soul and my soul eluded me; I sought to serve my brother in his need, and I found all three; My God, my soul, and thee.” Music "People Get Back Up" by Mae Martin Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

"My God..." I whispered..." CREEPYPASTA► "We built a 4-dimensional house. Shouldn't have walked on the roof." written by RohanRedfang, narrated by ClancyPasta► https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1s046gs/we_built_a_4dimensional_house_shouldnt_have/Here are ways to support the channel if you wish ~MERCH ► http://teespring.com/stores/clancypastastorePATREON ► https://patreon.com/clancypastaMEMBERSHIP ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnfg9w5hrnPT7oA1H3uRZEQ/joinHere's where you can find me, and also links to the audio version of the show ~X / TWITTER ► http://x.com/clancypastaINSTA ► https://instagram.com/clancypastaSPOTIFY ► https://open.spotify.com/show/51DHHPsFnEvDAGfRiZPMF7ANCHOR.FM ► https://anchor.fm/clancypastaMUSIC► Background music is original and done in house by my best friend and house audio designer SKEEVY WEEVIL#Creepypasta #scarystories #horrorstories

Today’s Topics: 1) Gospel – John 20:11-18 – Mary Magdalene stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the Body of Jesus had been. And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid Him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” She thought it was the gardener and said to Him, “Sir, if You carried Him away, tell me where you laid Him, and I will take Him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni,” which means Teacher. Jesus said to her, “Stop holding on to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to My brothers and tell them, ‘I am going to my Father and your Father, to My God and your God.'” Mary went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord,” and then reported what He had told her. Bishop Sheen quote of the day 2, 3, 4) Steve Ray joins Terry to discuss those who saw Jesus after His Resurrection and the places where they saw Him

We know on this day that Jesus died for us – but it was so much more than that. He was beaten. He was whipped. He had a crown of thorns forced into his head. He had nails hammered through his hands. And he hung there on the cross until his final breath. But it was so much more than just that. I think that's what I've missed for all these years – the depth of what Jesus REALLY did for me. It was more than the cross. 35 years ago on Easter Sunday, I knelt at an alter in a little country church in Ava, Missouri and I accepted what Jesus did for me on the cross. But now, 35 years later leading up to this Easter Sunday, I believe I'm truly beginning to understand and receive ALL that Jesus did for me beyond just the cross. There's just so much more! Countless others in these days died on crosses as capital punishment. It wasn't death on a cross that changed the world. In fact, on this very day, criminals hung on their own crosses on each side of Jesus. They died that day just like Jesus. It was more than the cross, more than the nails, more than the crown – so much more. Before the cross was the garden. The garden where Jesus made his decision to be our substitute. This is where the battle took place and where Jesus surrendered to his unimaginable punishment for his perfect life. On the final night of Jesus' life, he took his friends to a garden with him. He said, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.” They're in a garden, surrounded by beauty, all alone, and yet Jesus is saying his soul is crushed with grief. Why? Because he knew what was coming next. While his friends continually fell asleep on him, he prayed in that garden and he said, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” The cup of suffering was so much more than death on a cross – it was the absolute weight of every sin in the world. This was what was being put on Jesus, crushing him with grief in the garden. Isaiah 53:6, “The Lord laid on him the sins of us all.” The spiritual weight of every sin, every shame, every rebellion of humanity, placed on Jesus, crushing his soul. This is where the real battle was happening – before the cross, it was the garden. Remember the garden is where humanity failed, where Adam and Eve were deceived by Satan and sin entered the world. Now, in this garden, full circle, Jesus was willing to make it right again. But not just Adam and Eve's sin, mine and yours too. Every lie I've ever told, every secret shame I've carried, every rebellious act, every hurtful thing I've said, every hateful, corrupted, twisted, wrong thing I've ever done – that was laid on Jesus in the garden on that final night. My cup of deserved punishment was taken for me. With sin comes guilt and shame. Have you ever been weighed down by guilt? Knowing you were wrong is heavy. Shame can create an unbearable darkness. Imagine for a moment the secretly kept worst thing you've ever done being revealed publicly – how would that make you feel? Well, that's what was piled on Jesus. Your guilt. Your shame. And mine. The perfect Jesus was crushed by the weight of these burdens. And there in the garden as he prayed, willing to accept every once of sin upon himself, Luke 22:44 says, “He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.” Jesus sweat blood. This is a medical condition caused under extreme mental anguish. When a person is under such extreme pressure, extreme agony, extreme stress, extreme crushing, the blood vessels around the sweat glands can constrict to the point of rupture, and blood comes out of the skin through the sweat glands. This is what Jesus was enduring in the garden. In a garden of olive trees where his friends were sleeping, Jesus was in absolute agony. Before the cross, there was a choice. Jesus was making the choice here – Not what he wanted, but what God wanted. Jesus surrendered there to the crushing weight of it all, sweating blood in the most extreme anguish. He began to drink the cup he never wanted and certainly never deserved, the cup of judgment, the consequence of sin for all humanity. The pounds of my sin were included. The weight of my guilt and shame were literally there on Jesus in that garden. And so was yours. Every ounce of what should have been placed on you was placed on Jesus, there in the garden. Have you ever experienced true dread? Maybe you've dreaded going to the dentist or the gynecologist. Or maybe you've dreaded facing the consequences for your wrong doing. Maybe you've dreaded going through childbirth knowing the pain you must endure. Or you've dreaded a surgery fearing what might happen. Imagine if you were facing a prison sentence, you would feel dread. Knowing it's truly going to be bad – really bad. And when you really dread something, you want a way out of it. You wish you could change it. You rehearse it in your mind. You feel anxious about it. Jesus felt dread in the garden on the night before the cross. He knew exactly what was happening. He knew the weight of sin that would crush him. One by one, he was fully aware of every detail of every sin. Mine and yours. Shame. Guilt. Regret. Burden. He knew his Holy Father could not be in the presence of this sin, so he would be separated from the Father. Darkness was coming. Jesus is the light of the world, and that light would experience utter darkness. Oh how he must have dreaded what was to come. Feel that for a moment. Jesus said, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet, I want your will to be done, not mine.” That was for you. That was for me. This is what saved us. The decision made before the cross. The decision made in the garden. The decision that crushed the soul of our Jesus. The decision that caused such extreme anguish that he sweat blood. The dread that was faced with the decision to endure it all. Here in the garden is where Jesus fully surrendered. Here in the garden is where Jesus chose the cross. Here is the garden is where Jesus chose you. On this day we remember as Good Friday before Easter, Jesus would carry the weight of every burden, guilt and shame and stand in our place. He would accept the required penalty for sin – the judgment and separation from God, all so that we could receive forgiveness and relationship with God. As Jesus hung on the cross at noon, the midday skies fell dark. For 3 hours there was complete darkness all across the land. This is when Jesus says in Matthew 27:46, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Understand, what's happening here is separation from God. Jesus is entering the darkness of your sin, your guilt, your shame, your rebellion, for you. The full weight of every sin of humanity was placed on Jesus and the justice of God toward sin was being satisfied. Isaiah 53:10, “It was the Lord's good plan to crush him and cause him grief. His life is made an offering for sin.” This doesn't mean God took pleasure in the pain of Jesus, it means the painful plan of redemption was being fulfilled. Oh my sister, if you fully understood the price that has been paid for your life, you would live so differently. The more I understand it, the more different my life looks. Jesus is hanging in the darkness of the cross and for the first time ever, he has no sense of the Father's presence. He has no comfort and no relief. He was literally experiencing Hell. That's what Hell is – the absence of God. The absence of his presence. The absence of his comfort. The absence of his relief. The absence of his light. Jesus is hanging there on the cross going through Hell so we wouldn't have to. You and I have never experienced anything like this. Every step of our lives, God has been with us. We have no idea what it truly feels like to be without God. His comfort has been with us every day of our lives. His relief has always been ours. But Jesus experienced it for us so we would never have to. We would never have to go through Hell – never experience life without God. The full consequence of sin is a total separation from God and this is what Jesus is choosing in the garden and experiencing on the cross. Not because he sinned – but because he was carrying ours. 2 Corinthians 5:21, “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” Your sin was placed on the perfect Jesus – Yes yours. The sin you committed yesterday and the sin you'll commit tomorrow. It was all placed on Jesus so that his righteousness could be made available to you. What an exchange that was made for YOU. Jesus chose it in the garden and fulfilled it on the cross. A divine exchange was made for you. Jesus knew exactly what he was doing. He felt the very human emotion of dread. He didn't want that cup of wrath, but he knew it was required to save you from that wrath. He stood in your place, drinking the cup you deserved, bearing the crushing weight of your sins on his sinless and perfect body because God said you were worth saving, and Jesus agreed with outstretched arms. Have you accepted the divine exchange made for you on that cross? It's so much more than what we've made it to be today. It's our one and only way to redemption, forgiveness, relationship, and a right standing with our Creator. The weight isn't yours to carry, my friend – Jesus chose to carry that for you in the garden. The divine exchange took your guilt and shame and offers you perfect righteousness. And get this, all you have to do is accept it! When you accept what Jesus did for you in the garden and on the cross, then you have a promise. A promise of so much more! Follow Pamela on Instagram – https://instagram.com/headmamapamela Or Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/pamela.crim Find out more about BIG Life – http://biglifehq.com

Hello and welcome to the Unedited podcast! The goal of this podcast is to help you develop and enjoy the habit of daily Bible reading and prayer. It is through the Word of God and the presence of God that we GET TO KNOW God. In this Good Friday episode, Meg celebrates “the precious blood of Christ,“ and shares an Unedited journal entry: “My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?” Meg's books, “Unedited: Hope and Healing Through the Simple Habit of Bible Reading and Prayer” and “Overflow: The Fine Art of Cultivating Joy In Sorrow,” (in English and Spanish) are available on Amazon and through Pentecostal Publishing House. Thank you for joining me for this journey. I look forward to meeting up with you again next Friday! If you have questions, please visit megunedited.com Go grab your Bible and your journal! Looking forward to the power of this habit in YOUR life. This is Unedited. This is for U. Happy Good Friday! IG: @unedited_meg