Sexy Beasts

It's the final of the squeens and what a journey it's been. This time the gloves are off the fangs are out and a winner must be chosen.

We’re at quarter mast, almost to a semi with excitement!! Through the knockout rounds and now into the big dog (WOOFOFOWOOFOFOOOF) territory.   So come to Monster Hollywood with the two spoofers in the Silver Screen Squeeam Scheme part 3!

We're back for Round 2. 8 more scraps to decide which Scream Squeen makes it through to the quarter-final. What upsets will we see? Will Jago realise the premise of this isn't that there's two rival teams, it's just each host was assigned monsters to research and speak about them for each scrap, or will he still think he and Tony are in competition with each other and getting upset when his monster inevitably loses?!

It’s the spooky season and the Beasts are back! Forced indoors with the worst Halloween ever on the cards; Tony and Jago turn their attention to the movies pitting all the best monsters on film together for a tournament that will live on through the ages. Marshmallow Man vs Godzilla? Dracula Vs Zombies? Oh my! October won’t know what hit it!

Live from the Cork Podcast Festival! For this very spooky episode Tony is joined by comedian and friend of the show Jordan Daniel to celebrate Halloween. Join them as they discuss old Irish traditions, scary Cork Myths, and how to survive murder by a pillow. They also give absolute proof of ghosts AND aliens! Listen, if you dare!

This week the boys lose their head talking about the Irish stallion decapitated merchant of death known as the Dullahan. We’ve been assured that this is the looniest episode yet by our producer Big Arms Al. Besides talking an incredible amount of shite we also announce our plans for the future of Sexy Beasts. We ain’t going nowhere but there will be some shake ups. Jago loves you all the same. Tony has some favorites ♥

This week we travel to Japan to swoon over a little stinky bit of animated fat. I know this sounds like a plot from a studio Ghibli but we are actually discussing the Nuppeppo. He may be small and disgusting but this cryptid has stolen our hearts. Have a listen and make your own mind up; stinky or sexy?!

The Trials and Tribulations of Jago's Lung is an uplifting, heartwarming and lung-bursting tale of a man, a heroic man, overcoming hardship and strife to learn to see the world in a new light, and begin to see strangers not as "strange" men and women who could upset him, but as friends that he just hasn't met yet. Some people can't see the woods for the trees, but the new Jago can only see potential fraternity in the sea of unfamiliar faces. He's a new man, an older man, a more experienced and breathless soul. He is Marc Jago and he will make it his goddamn business to put a smile on your face in Tesco. Also Tony says some stuff about a cold and his comedy career.

What’s that in the corner of your eye? Must be your imagination you chuckle to yourself. It is oddly human shaped. Is that a smile? This week we are chatting about Shadow People! Are they fear given form or festival comedowns after too many disco biscuits? Check it out this week on SEXY BEASTS

Ahoy hoy listeners!  This week we are bounding back to Victorian times to encounter a well dressed bouncing demon. Spring Heeled Jack terrorised the fine folk of London in the 1800s. Was this dashing rogue, a demon, a wizard or a drunk posh Irish lad?! Jump on in and have a listen!

Today your intrepid hosts embark on a dangerous quest. We confront one of the the world's most popular monsters, The Dragon! We don our armour and do verbal battle with the beast. We also lose our minds a little cause it’s in the middle of a heat wave. Join the fray and have a listen young squires!

This week on sexy beasts moisten up your tongues and hide your ants as we go in deep about the Capelobo! Brazil’s shape changing anteater monster. This ripped evil creature really get us going and it might even be a rival for the TIKBALANG for dampiest wetser. Remember to review subscribe and rate. Jago and Tony love you!

Good thing Lions aren’t that good in the water or we’d all be screwed.....oh this episode is about a webbed toe’d aquatic lion, who is equally as ferocious on land as in water and kills hippos for fun.  Why would you make this God?  Guess we are all screwed, thanks to the Coje ya Menia .

I’m always so tired looking out my two eyes and using my two legs and how my arse doesn’t excrete a flexible but strong gossamer. That’s why some times I secretly wonder what it like to be a sexy spider and in this episode we are talking about the sexiest of spiders! The J’ba Fofi is a Congolese nightmare come to life. Come get caught in our audio web my little flies!

This week on Sexy Beasts we meet a Baaaaaaa-d Mofo known as the Sheepsquatch! Hailing from out favourite place West Virginia! You better not count this creature before you sleep or you’ll be having night terrors! EWE don’t want to miss it .

Riddle time. I walk backwards but it looks like I’m walking forward and I love kids a little too much. Teehee! The Duende of Belizian folklore of course! Shamon! Two thumbs off!

Here we are back again in West Virginia! Land of The Mothman , Indrid Cold and the Sheepsquatch! This coal mining Appalachian state ain’t a stranger to freaky going-ons. And ain’t nothing freakier then the well dressed stinky screamy levitatin’  extraterrestrial  known as the Flatwoods Monster! So undo the top button of your pants, whip out those ice pops you got on special and have a giant relax. You are our best mate.

This week Sexy Beasts head to the rainbow nation and talk about big snakes and dangling elephant trunks. That’s right we have the GrootSlang  entering the premier crypt! This dangerous new cryptid is here to slither into your nightmares We also have the first new show down in our new draft Top Trumps!  So find a warm rock and settle in for a listen

In the Scottish highlands a peculiar Beast makes it home! Not quite a ghost and not quite a monkey man. The Fear liath more brings intrigue, mystery but also terror and doom to our little podcast. An ancient warrior spirit or a lost piece of history. Also, after last weeks crushing defeat in top trumps we discuss the conditions of Tony’s forfeit in this jam packed episode!

This week on Sexy Beasts we are sippin on some DJINN and juice as we discuss our inner most wishes and how they could go wrong ! We get pretty philosophical talking about genies and in a series first we actually freak ourselves out with a legit spell. Be careful what you wish for !

Today on Sexy Beasts we take to the skies and get real high! No not talking about marijuana we are talking about Air Rods! Mysterious ethereal beings that flit in and out of our existence. Alien? Man made? Bit of mayo on a camera lens? Crack open the podcast and devour the gooey knowledge inside

WARNING - this episode is not for kids or people who don’t like chicken/breasts. I’m assuming you don’t let kids listen to us anyway cause we are very smutty but this episode is served with an extra dollop of smut with a side order of titillation. Any way this episode is about The Elwetritsch. Enjoy

We decided to take a little break, and did another Q & A episode this week.  People seemed to like our shitty advice the last time, so we decided to give it another go!

On today’s Sexy Beasts we have a first for the show. We are investigating a peculiar individual by the name of Indrid Cold.  Who or what is this being ? An inter dimensional messenger ? A savior from the stars ? Or just a handsome beatnik ?  Tony also reveals a dark secret he’s been hiding about our hotly contested top trumps ! Tune in and turn up ! 

What’s the best thing about the movie the labyrinth?? David Bowie’s cod piece of course!  The second best thing is the Goblins! Today on Sexy Beasts we talk about the working classes of the fantasy world! Goblins are the mistreated salt of the earth! Listen and learn my comrades

This weeks episode we are heading into the deepest darkest forests of Ireland to track down Ireland’s answer to the big foot; The Gruagach. This clever, extremely hairy, rascal plays pranks on humans and also may eat humans. The description also sounds suspiciously like a one of our hosts. I’ll let you decide who. So come on in to the tepid hotel jacuzzi at a three star hotel that is Sexy Beasts!!

It may be Springtime but it's still cold out there! Maybe it's time to take a doghusband and conceive yourself some Adlets. Little doglegged chaps running around the Arctic Tundra. The poise and speed of a dog with the body and guile of a man! What could be sexier!?

We’ve got PUSSY FEVER this week in Sexy Beasts talking Phantom Cats! No we’re not talking about some organ playing cat underneath some stupid opera! we’re talking about wild effing jungle cats living in the UK (who can play with our organs any day!). They’re sexy, they’re real and they’re here!

This week on Sexy Beasts we look to the stars to discover our own history’s greatness mentors. We talk about the Blue Avian Aliens who took us under their wing and guided us spiritually , emotionally and maybe sexually. So go catch a pigeon and stare longingly into its beautiful eyes as you listen to us. Why not tweet about us

This week on Sexy Beasts we take a break from the PremierCrypt and celebrate our 1st birthday in only the FUNNEST way possible; by answering questions.  So come along and learn more about Leinster's two greatest amateur cryptozoologists (us) for a Q&A they gets deeper than the kraken (and wetter!!!). Enjoy.

In deep dark coldest Antarctica lives a gorgeous blob of a creature that has puzzled scientists and explorers alike. So put on your thermal long johns and join us as we chat about the Ningen!  It’s gonna be Brrrrrrrrrrriliant.

This week on Sexy Beasts we get a little head. And by that I mean we tackle the decapitated flying entrails witch know as the LEYAK.  Indonesia’s finest black magic woman be nice to her and she might bring you luck but if you cross her she may turn into a car and run you over.  This episode is an absolute rollercoaster and you are tall enough to ride

This week the Sexy Beasts return! We dive right back into the world of cryptids with one delicious little Meatball!  THE WOLFMAN has come to tear up the premier crypt and our hearts! Join us with our new scoring system and cheer for your favourite team as we continue to brew up this intense rivalry playing top trumps ! Remember to rate, review and subscribe guys and gals ❤️

This week a cryptid DIES! No dream sequence! No magic to bring them back! She is dead BABY! GONE! With Paddy O'Leary in the grave.  We also do a little reshuffling with our jam-packed Premiercrypt! We thought it was getting too stacked at the top so we only bleeding gone and added a new judging category: SEX APPEAL!  Plus we divide the teams on two and have a battle of the ages!  Give us a listen and welcome us back ❤

Hey you! Booze enough this year? How many turkey sambos did you have? Scum! Time to make like a Phoenix and set yourself on fire and HOPE you come back a gigantic bird. If not there’s no hope for you in 2019. Welcome to the Premiercrpyt the ultimate self-care hunty: The Phoenix.  We’d also like to take this chance to let you know that we’re taking a short break back for Season 2 in Feb.  Thank you all so much for all the listens and shares. And big thanks to HeadStuff for putting this dumb show out each week. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Here he is, the Big Sexy Daddy of Christmas! Santa Claus coming in your chimney, emptying his sack and drinking your beers. Join us as we welcome him into our home and hearts! We also have a few Christmas carols to sing along with! So mull some wine and nog some egg. Merry Christmas ho. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Every general needs his army and Santa’s Christmas army is comprised of miniature magical folks churning out billions of toys endlessly. They work their magic fingers down to nubs so some snot-nosed kid in Texas can get the latest fad toy. I’m not saying Santa is using slave labour but if the curl-toed shoe with a bell fits... So next time you're drinking some egg nog pour a bit out for our tireless homies, Santa's Elves. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Have you been been a good boy or girl this year? If you have, congratulations Santa will shower you with gifts and you’ll have a jolly old Christmas. But If you've been naughty he will send his creepy, freaky mate over to your house to whip you and lock you up. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

When I was about 17 I drank two bottles of sáke, puked and got shouted at by my Ma. If I told this story to today's beast it would laugh in my face and call me a lightweight. We are talking about the long-haired sesh-monkey known as the Shōjō. So get a bag of cans and a pack of bacon fries and settle in for some sexy listening

On today’s Sexy Beasts we are discussing the Tatzlewurm! The cat-faced serpent that slithers its way around the Alps. Jago gets confused about measurement and Tony gets sexually frustrated. We both grow as people and discover that the true treasure was friendship all along. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Dogs are a man's best friend! They cheer you up when you are sad, they bring you the morning paper and they foretell the tragic moment of your imminent demise. Well, the last part is not all dogs it’s just this week's sexy beast. The BLACK SHUCK! So paws what you're doing and join us as we discuss if its bark is worse than its bite. Hold on tight it gets a little ruff. Expect a little friction as Tony and Jago do it doggy style. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

You are a farmer in ancient Persia, you have survived the Greco-Persian wars, you’ve survived famine, disease and cruel, rich Kings. You come home after a long hard day in your field, exhausted, a broken man. You go to fetch water from a well and you suddenly hear a growl from a nearby bush. Out steps a bloody lion with a scorpion stinger and monkey hands. You are screwed - there is no escape. You get stung and are partially eaten while the monkey hands are giving you the finger. You’ve been attacked by a Manticore. You really can’t catch a break can you!? Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Everything’s better when you are wetter under the sea! Today on Sexy Beasts we delve deep into the abyss of human attraction and ask the hard questions. If you had to have sex with a mermaid would you want a top half fish or bottom half fish? Mermaids have been the folly of many lonely sailors and seamen. How annoyed would you be if you jumped off a boat to kiss a mermaid and it turned out to be a manatee? Sickener! Anyway here’s the podcast... Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

It’s that time of year again when the fabric between realms is at its thinnest and all manner of ghosts, ghouls and beasts can reach out and touch us! To honour this we decided to cover the spookiest beast we know. Welcome to the family, The Vampire! Hope you don’t suck. Try to B positive. There is a lot at stake. Fangs for the memories. Don’t drive us batty. Don’t be a pain in the neck, SIRI give me some vampire puns no don’t type that Siri stop listening alright now where’s my green tea, ah there it is, god this is disgusting. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Sexy Beasts went live at the Dublin Podcast Festival on Sunday 14th of October talking about the grandfather of all cryptids - Bigfoot! There were laughs, there were tears and there was an above average amount of genital jokes. Bigfoot is the most recognised and widely respected cryptid.  For the true live show experience down four pints, squeeze between two people in a super hot room and get asked for a spare rollie every 30 mins. Thanks to all who came! Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

If you ever find yourself in the densely forested island of Java, take a look upward for you may see a shape gliding above the canopy.  A bat? An owl? Elon musk on a mad rocket yoke?  Or is it an AHOOL? The man-bat creature that terrorises the locals and makes wimps of the bravest adventurers. The name is pretty fun to sing too. Go on try it. Loud and clear. Lovely

EL Cuero resides in the lakes of South America around the Andes. This slimy fetid beast stalks the shore line engulfing its prey and sucking the very life essence out of them. Surely this is a horrific way to perish. And if that bums you out too much there are super wicked guitar solos in this episode! Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

If you had to combine two animals together which would you choose? Wolf and a shark? Boring. Snake and an eagle? Yawn! Ant and an elephant?  Think bigger!  Rabbit and an antelope? BINGO!  Now that I’ve got your attention, what if I told you it exists?  Welcome to the JACKALOPE. For more information send 5 euros to Sexy Beasts Mansions, Butt street, Lusk, Co. Dublin. Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Hey, don’t be so Les Miserable as we prance down to the Moulin Rouge and get an Eiffel Tower in our pantaloons. In case you haven’t guessed it we are in France this week discussing a horrid creature that terrorised the countryside in the 18th century. So put down that Brie cheese and Mona Lisa As we say Bienvenue To the Beast of Gévaudan (sp) Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor

Mammy and Daddy are sorry. They hope your bus trip isn't too bad. Here's ten minutes of weak apology and nipple stiffening creepiness.

Today on Sexy Beasts you join our two intrepid hosts down in the mythical land of Laois. Listen as they discuss the Yeti live at Electric Picnic with the amazing special guest Alison Spittle ! Topics include haunted earrings , fighting dogs and illiterate ghosts! Give it a lash Jack, and if you likey please give us a like and a subscribe! Which cryptid will appear on the next episode of Sexy Beasts? Check them out on Instagram or Twitter to figure out the Mystery Image! Follow them on Instagram @SexyBeastsPod Follow them on Twitter @SexyBeastsPod Join The HeadStuff Podcast Network group on Facebook Artwork by @aaislingor