When We Disagree

Ben Klutsey, executive director of the Mercatus Center whose work to bridge political differences is showcased in the documentary Undivide Us, shares a formative story of encountering racism as a child visiting Germany—a moment of unprovoked hostility that deeply shaped his outlook. Years later, after leaving Ghana and arriving in Appleton, Wisconsin for college, he was met with unexpected warmth, an experience he describes as a healing contrast that sparked his lifelong commitment to what he calls pluralist points. For Klutsey, pluralism means more than diversity—it's about engaging across difference with tolerance, humility, and patience. When We Disagree returns for season 3 in August 2025. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Kurt Gray, a psychology professor and the author of Outraged: Why We Fight about Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground, discusses leaning into curiosity, asking questions and fostering understanding when political conversations veer into controversial territory. He emphasizes that persuasion begins with empathy, not facts, and argues that deep listening is essential in rebuilding relationships fractured by politics. For Gray, genuine dialogue means recognizing shared moral motivations, even when beliefs differ starkly. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textJermaine Johnson, a South Carolina state representative and former pro basketball player, shares his frustration with the legislative process, revealing how performative politics often masks real, behind-closed-doors power plays. In his push to reform outdated laws, he's faced fierce resistance rooted not just in political ideology, but in the weight of our shared history. For Johnson, the real battle isn't left versus right; it's past versus present. Still, his fight is fueled by hope—for his grandchildren to live in a world that finally catches up to its ideals.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textKathryn Joyce, a philosopher and civil discourse director at Ohio State University, recalls a memorable clash with a college professor over unfair tests—an early lesson in the challenges of pushing back against authority. Now an educator herself, she teaches students to hold powerful people accountable with humility and care. For Joyce, civil discourse isn't about winning arguments.  It's about fostering fairness, connection, and dialogue, especially across power divides. Still, she cautions: not every conversation is worth having—discernment matters just as much as empathy.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textLisa Silvestri, a professor at Penn State University, reflects on the deep emotional stakes of political disagreement, describing her post-2024 election disillusionment as a kind of heartbreak rooted in love for her country. Drawing from her upbringing in a loud Philadelphia household, she sees conflict not as dysfunction but as a sign of care—a refusal to disengage. Her hope persists. For her, choosing vulnerability over cynicism is essential to living fully and resisting the temptation to turn away from those we love, even when they vote differently.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textMartin Carcasson, the director of the Center for Public Deliberation at Colorado State University, shares a debate about the value of, well, debate.  While debate at its best sharpens ideas and exposes misinformation, it can devolve into spectacle. Dialogue can foster understanding and trust but lacks rigor. Deliberation, he says, combines the strengths of both to help communities make better collective decisions—though it requires significant resources. Carcasson emphasizes the need to design spaces that tap into our abilities to listen and ask good questions, not our outrage, to tackle complex problems together.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textJancee Dunn, a New York Times columnist and the author of How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids, recalls the explosive arguments that erupted between her and her husband after the birth of their child.  These disagreements were often triggered by seemingly trivial moments like a missing bottle of wine. With resentment building and roles unspoken, their marriage transformed as they struggled with sleep deprivation, overwhelming responsibility, and the new pressures of parenthood. Though the tension seemed insurmountable, Jancee candidly shares how self-reflection, therapy, and a renewed commitment to understanding her and her husband's evolving conflict styles ultimately strengthened their relationship and transforms their approach to arguing. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textMichael Covington, an experienced government relations officer, reveals the art of navigating the toughest conflicts with strategic persuasion and direct engagement. With a mix of humor and hard-earned lessons from several decades in the world of lobbying, he suggests how to transform heated disagreements into powerful opportunities for meaningful change.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textCarol Gorelick, a lifelong educator, shares a powerful story of a painful disagreement with a South African colleague that reshaped her understanding of race and societal dynamics. Reflecting on the complexities of identity and inequality, she emphasizes the need to accept our differences, advocating for one-on-one conversations to bridge societal divides. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Send us a textMatt Bares, CEO of Chandler Construction Services, shares the tough decisions he faced during the pandemic. Torn between public safety, personal liberty, and business survival, he mandated COVID vaccines despite potentially fierce opposition from his workforce. Looking back, he stands by his choice, though the weight of those disagreements lingers.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Kristal Hudson-Randall, a retired IT executive and former educator, shares  an internal struggle about the direction of the nation. A former optimist, she now wonders whether she can really trust her fellow citizens and, more generally, her country. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

In 2018, Phelosha Collaros, a senior leader at St. John's College, faced a social media firestorm after announcing the college president's upcoming appearance on Tucker Carlson's show.  The announcement, which aimed to showcase the college's commitment to ideological diversity and civil dialogue, sparked intense backlash, with personal attacks and divided reactions from alumni and parents. Collaros became the face of the controversy as both sides of the political spectrum expressed concerns about the college's direction.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

David Dudrick, a Catholic philosopher at Colgate University, shared his religious commitments with a colleague only to have his beliefs utterly dismissed. Despite being initially cast as foolish by his colleague, their disagreement about religion and philosophy evolved into a productive, respectful intellectual partnership. Through candid debates, they learned to engage with opposing views without compromising their beliefs. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Jenn Wiggin, an executive producer of TV shows, films, and plays, discusses the shifting dynamics of her 30-year friendship with an actress in New York. After Jenn married and moved away from New York, her best friend accused her of neglecting their connection, leading to a two-year period of distance. Jenn responded calmly to the accusation, and she reflects on the tension between the expectations of frequent contact and the reality of evolving lives and responsibilities. Ultimately, the relationship healed after a life-altering event, teaching Jen that true friendship transcends daily communication.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Clint Eisenhower recounts a career-shifting clash with a retiring CEO, where unspoken fears about aging and relevance turned a professional transition into a personal battle. Despite feeling deceived, Clint reflects on how life changes—like retirement—can cloud judgment, and how self-awareness is key in conflict. Now, as a leader of the Forward Party, he's channeling those lessons, using civility and compassion to navigate political conflicts and build a more inclusive future. His journey from personal discord to political revolution highlights the power of addressing challenges head-on while embracing humility.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

What happens when we shift from "winning" an argument to genuinely seeking common ground?  Bryan Gentry, a strategic communications professional, made what we now calls a reckless post on social media in 2008 mocking his friend's support for Barack Obama.  Bryan wrote the post in a aggressive, talk radio style. His friend was upset, and Bryan quickly regretted the post.  As they talked it out, Bryan learned quite a bit about himself, his relationships, and his politics.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Randall Geddings, a therapist, shares an experience of conflict with a close friend, Rick started hanging out with someone Randall didn't trust, and Randall expressed his feelings about their relationship. The argument escalated. Randall reflects on how his calm, analytical approach to arguments clashes with those who expect emotional intensity. Ultimately, the conflict was resolved through understanding each other's perspectives, but it also led Randall to reconsider how he navigates future disputes.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Rachel McNamara is a health educator. She identifies as a recovering conflict avoider and has worked hard to recast relational tension. Rachel explains how several key conflicts in her life showed her that setting boundaries doesn't end relationships - boundaries clarify, even strengthens relationships. She highlights key tactics for navigating conflict, including pausing, reframing situations, and focusing on understanding rather than winning. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Jamelle Bouie is a columnist at the New York Times. The way he argues in public is very different from the way he argues in his private life. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Barclay Murphy's husband was killed in Afghanistan in 2005. She's been arguing with the federal government about spousal death benefits ever since. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

When Kyle Gillette, now a theater professor at Trinity University in San Antonio, was 18, he followed his dream of exploring the world of art and ideas and attended a liberal arts college. His father and stepfather thought he was making a mistake, one that would risk poverty and unpredictability.  Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Aly Kenny has been teaching manners and mindfulness classes for 10 years and has a popular Instagram account (@chasingcivility) devoted to these subjects. Aly had to face her own manners and mindfulness crisis not too long ago.  She was having some work done in her house, and she was shocked when the handyman showed up carrying tools, a ladder, and a gun at his side.  When she posted about her reaction to the gun in her house on Instagram, the amount of negativity she faced was staggering. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Techa Smalls-Brown was working on her Ph.D. during the COVID crisis. When one of Techa's friends and fellow doctoral students tested positive for COVID, the ensuing dispute over whether and how to interact in a tight space threatened their relationship.   Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Dr. Annie Andrews is a pediatrician and mom. After working as a pediatrician at children's hospitals for 15 years, she decided to run for Congress and became the Democratic nominee in South Carolina's first congressional district in 2022.  The campaign was vicious on the whole, but one issue - trans healthcare - grew so big that it dominated the headlines and involved Dr. Andrews' employer.  Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Joel Caldwell is a accomplished photographer, writer, and filmmaker whose work has appeared in the New York Times, National Geographic, and many other outlets. For the past ten years he has focused on telling conservation and environmental justice stories from around the world. He characterizes himself as non-confrontational. Is he? Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Zara Smith was pro-choice. Her boyfriend wasn't sure what his position on abortion was. Zara chose to end their relationship. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Nicholas Mosvick has worked within and on behalf of the American conservative intellectual movement for many years.  He has witnessed several variations of one central fight on the right: what is conservatism? Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Mia McLeod is a prominent former state senator in South Carolina. During her time in office, Mia wanted to make sure that political appointees were qualified for their jobs. One of Mia's colleagues became furious that she was disrupting the normal political process. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Before Bryan Turner was the president and CEO of the Preservation Society of Charleston, he worked for many years for the National Trust for Historic Preservation. In a sense, Bryan's career has been defined by legal, social, financial, and historical debates about America's past, but one dispute about whether Steve Jobs could demolish a historic home in California has stuck with him. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Eva went away to college.  When she left her childhood home, Eva's sister moved into her room without telling her. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Before Mike Serazio was a professor at Boston College, he was an investigative journalist. He loved the work, but the persistent and heated interpersonal conflicts that journalists face took a toll on him. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Nafees Alam is an influential proponent of viewpoint diversity. His support for viewpoint diversity is motivated by a memorable disagreement about race he had over a decade ago. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Mikaela Neubauer's father and brothers often tease her about her political beliefs. More specifically, they will make statements - Christopher Columbus was a good person, for example - to provoke Mikaela and seem to enjoy her frustration.  When We Disagree is on holiday break until January 8, 2025. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Doug Sprei has organized hundreds of debates reaching thousands of college students since 2018. One stands out. When We Disagree is on holiday break until January 8, 2025. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Margaret Seidler was researching her family's history in a library archive and discovered a shocking secret. A member of her family was a prominent figure in the buying and selling of enslaved African people in the early 1800s.  Margaret went public and wrote a book about her discovery of this history. When she encouraged other families with similar histories to go public as well, she met fierce resistance. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Tom Cunneff got into a heated political argument on social media with a childhood friend. Tom felt that he was rude during the argument and personally apologized to his friend. His apology led to curious results. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Maureen Tobin was the Communications and Engagement manager for a small town in California during the COVID outbreak. She dealt with a tremendous amount of blowback related to public health information, lockdowns, mask restrictions, and more. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Tracie Potts was the PTA president at a local school.  When she and a colleague disagreed about PTA priorities, Tracie thought the best way forward was for the whole organization to vote on which option they thought was best. Tracie lost that vote and set about leading an organization while having a bruised ego. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Roger Pielke is a climate change researcher.  His life changed drastically when some of his work became controversial in surprising ways. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

Becky Kuehl was moderating a debate about the future of feminism at a South Dakota library. When a participant made an argument that Becky didn't agree with - and then nobody in the audience challenges the claim - Becky had to decide whether to abandon her neutral role as debate moderator.Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

When Elijah Siegler gets into arguments, he thinks about an ancient idea from the Dao: what's the point? Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

What does it mean for a group of people to be "positively," "negatively," "accurately," or "inaccurately" represented in media? Ed Schiappa has spent quite some time thinking about these questions, and his research complicates what many think of as a "good" representation. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram