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Make Change - feat. Trent Lowe by Sundown Church
Ever find yourself second-guessing everything in your business? Wondering whether you need a full-on pivot or if this is just one of those itchy moments that come with growth? If you've ever felt misaligned with your offers or like your marketing systems just aren't hitting the way they used to—you're so not alone. This episode is here to give you clarity, strategy, and a whole lot of permission.Today I'm pulling back the curtain on how I walk myself (and my mastermind clients) through those “do I blow it all up?” phases. You'll hear how we use real-time launch data to make smarter decisions mid-launch (instead of waiting until it's all over), and why tweaking your webinar headline can make or break your conversion rates.Here's what we cover in this episode:The two biggest levers for increasing webinar registrations (and how to pull them)My go-to headline tweaks that can 3x your sign-ups without rewriting your whole webinarHow to know when it's time to pivot… and when to sit tight and ride it outThe seven smartest ways to boost visibility mid-launch (even if everything feels flat)How to make space for strategic decision-making during a launch—not just afterwardWhat to do when tech disasters strike (real talk: this happened to us…)Why energy preservation is a critical part of your launch strategyWhether you're questioning your current offer suite or trying to figure out if your launch goals are even realistic (or just need someone to tell you that what you're experiencing is totally normal), this episode will feel like a deep breath and a strategic reboot all in one.If you're craving better launches and smarter marketing systems and you're ready to work in a high-touch container that actually helps you make decisions in real time, join the waitlist for Peace and Profit. We're opening doors again in September. → launcheasylife.com/mastermindBingeworthy BundlesIf you want to grow faster and get more clients from Instagram (while spending less time posting) – this should helpIf you want to create or grow your podcast – this is for youIf you want to work part-time hours but have an offer suite that makes multi-six figures – you'll love thisIf you want to turn more likes into leads – here's what's working nowIf you're deciding on a course or membership platform – try this.
Global Ed Leaders | International School Leadership Insights
Shane Leaning speaks with Paul Halford about his new book "My Educated Life: Lessons from Leading Schools." Paul explores why change in schools is fundamentally a subjective experience, explaining how even the most logical strategic plans can fail when they encounter the reality of people's personal lives and emotional responses. Using a football coaching analogy from his youth, he demonstrates how successful change requires leaders who build trust, allow for honest communication about difficulties, and create safe spaces for dissent and feedback. The conversation delves into the tension between maintaining legitimacy as a school and pushing boundaries for innovation, using examples like A.S. Neill's radical Summerhill School and the nomadic Think Global School. Paul emphasises that school success is built on relationships characterised by trust, hope, and care, citing research showing that high-trust schools have significantly better success rates when implementing new programmes. He provides practical strategies including monthly one-to-one meetings with staff, annual culture surveys, and creating collaborative approaches to change implementation, while warning that the biggest leadership mistake is allowing trust to erode through poor communication and failure to understand staff experiences. Links Mentioned:My Educated Life: Lessons from Leading Schools by Paul HalfordThe New Meaning of Educational Change by Michael FullanUNESCO Futures of Education Report Episode PartnerThe International Curriculum Association: Learn moreJoin Shane's Intensive Leadership Programme at educationleaders.co/intensiveShane Leaning, an organisational coach based in Shanghai, supports school leaders globally. Passionate about empowment, he is the author of the best-selling 'Change Starts Here.' Shane is a leading educational voice in the UK, Asia and around the world.You can find Shane on LinkedIn and Bluesky. or shaneleaning.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Change sucks. It is hard, really hard and the inertia to change is a powerful mistress. The decision to change has to be with intention and an ultimate endeavor to reset your foundation without regard to result. Let's talk The Dip. Original Episode Number: 52 | Original Air Date: 5/18/2021 Links & Resources: Host: Sean Low of The Business of Being Creative Have your own opinion on Sean's tips and advice? Talk Back!! Email Shawn or record a voice message directly through his show's site! Link: Join Sean's Collective of Business Creatives Follow Sean on social media: Instagram: @SeanLow1 | Facebook: Facebook.com/Sean.Low.35 | LinkedIn | Twitter: @SeanLow — Podcast Network: The Wedding Biz Network Copyright of The Wedding Biz, LLC. 2021.
We know principals are busy—constantly managing urgent issues and putting out fires. But we also know this: school-level change is the most powerful lever we have for improving student learning in math. So the real question is: are we setting school leaders up for success?In this episode, we help you reflect on your current systems and support structures using a simple leadership audit:How are we positioning principals to take ownership of instructional leadership in math?Are they aligned to the school's math goals?What's getting in the way—and how can we fix it?You'll hear about common barriers schools face and gain actionable ideas from our work across North America to overcome them. If we want meaningful math improvement, engaging principals is not optional—it's essential.Key Takeaways:Why principals are essential for leading instructional change in mathHow to identify and remove barriers that limit their involvementWhat it looks like when district and school leadership are aligned on math goalsQuestions to help you audit your current leadership structuresStrategies to build principal ownership and capacity in math instructionNot sure what matters most when designing math improvement plans? Take this assessment and get a free customized report: https://makemathmoments.com/grow/ Math coordinators and leaders – Ready to design your math improvement plan with guidance, support and using structure? Learn how to follow our 4 stage process. https://growyourmathprogram.com Looking to supplement your curriculum with problem based lessons and units? Make Math Moments Problem Based Lessons & Units Show Notes PageLove the show? Text us your big takeaway!Create engagement while fuelling students sense making by using Make Math Moments ready-made lessons and units. Access our vast catalogue of lessons for elementary through high school math classes.Check the catalogue here --> https://makemathmoments.com/tasks/Are you wondering how to create K-12 math lesson plans that leave students so engaged they don't want to stop exploring your math curriculum when the bell rings? In their podcast, Kyle Pearce and Jon Orr—founders of MakeMathMoments.com—share over 19 years of experience inspiring K-12 math students, teachers, and district leaders with effective math activities, engaging resources, and innovative math leadership strategies. Through a 6-step framework, they guide K-12 classroom teachers and district math coordinators on building a strong, balanced math program that grows student and teacher impact. Each week, gain fresh ideas, feedback, and practical strategies to feel more confident and motivate students to see the beauty in math. Start making math moments today by listening to Episode #139: "Making Math Moments From Day 1 to 180.
Why do technical experts often make poor change leaders? Roger Guerrero, Head of Enterprise Strategy Execution at Merck, challenges how organizations select and develop leaders in transformation environments. Drawing from his experience overseeing Merck's corporate strategy implementation, Roger explains why change leadership shouldn't be confined to specialized teams but embedded as a core expectation for all managers. He argues that companies over-index on technical expertise while undervaluing the ability to inspire and lead through change—creating what he calls a "silent killer" in organizations. Whether you're struggling with resistant middle managers or disconnected executives, Roger offers practical strategies for identifying and developing genuine change leadership beyond technical competence.----Connect with:Nellie WartoftCEO of TigerhallChair of the Executive Council for Leading Change (ECLC)nellie@tigerhall.com ----00.00 - Introduction 01:30 - Why change management shouldn't be limited to specialized teams03:45 - How technical industries often select leaders for technical expertise, not leadership ability05:20 - Why change leadership competencies should be core criteria in promotions07:10 - The problem with the "individual contributor to leader" career path09:15 - Creating dual career tracks for technical experts vs. leadership roles11:30 - How to identify people with natural change leadership abilities14:45 - Addressing the "this isn't my job" mindset in middle managers16:20 - Red flags that indicate poor change leadership potential19:40 - The evolving profile of effective senior leaders—from engineers to MBAs to motivators22:15 - Strategies for working around resistant leaders you can't replace24:30 - Handling resistance at the C-suite level27:15 - The importance of communication style in successful change initiatives29:35 - Why transparency and empathy are critical for change leadership----Breathe by RYGO | https://soundcloud.com/francesco-rigolonEverything You Need Is By Your Side by Vlad Gluschenko |Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons / Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0)https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US
Copper penny knocked out of circulation. To round up or round down? Jewish couple murdered by Palestinian activist Elias Rodriguez. Freedom Family Friday!
The Orioles have moved on from Brandon Hyde after an extremely disappointing start to the season. The clubhouse appears to be stunned by the decision, but will this actually wake them up?
You don't need more motivation. You need better systems. Most people think their goals are out of reach because they can't stay consistent. But the real issue is they're relying on willpower instead of structure. If you set up systems that guide your actions, you'll still make progress on the days you don't feel like it. BOOK A CALL WITH PERRY: http://talktoperry.com or TEXT PERRY at (208) 400-5095 JOIN MY FREE COMMUNITY: http://upsidedownfit.com RESOURCES: Daily Success Habits - Grab Your Free Copy! My Favorite Pre-Workout for Energy Best Home Workouts WOW! You made it all the way down here! Now I am impressed! I don't know many who do! You absolutely rock my friend!
Make change easier for any team by using 6 actions to reduce fears, provide purpose and help individuals learn and adapt to what is changing. If we don't pay enough attention to the human side of change management with teams, the changes planned are going to be painful for everyone I share 6 key actions to make leading teams through change easier. ---- Here is a link to all our downloadable booklets and help sheets and our free webinars. These all provide you more depth and will help you develop your management expertise that much faster. Build your confidence so you can lead any team to their best performance! https://enhance.training/team-and-business-management-resources/ ---- How to lead teams through change starts with explaining the why. The why provides context and the purpose behind the change. Team members can then decide for themselves if the change will make them, colleagues and the business better off or worse off. Not knowing the why is one of the classic reasons why people resist change in the workplace. Next, explain clearly what is in it for them – a key part of how to help teams through change. Everyone wants to know the impact on them of the change. Helping teams through change is clearly explaining the upsides without ignoring the downsides. Third for how to lead through change, break down the change into manageable tasks and activities for each individual in the team. This takes away a lot of the fear element. Staff also know what to do rather than having to try to work it out themselves. Whenever you are managing staff through change always spend a lot more time listening than talking. Listen to concerns, issues, challenges, ideas and solutions from team members. You will get amazing insights into how they are thinking and get a ton of useful ideas and solutions to boot. Listening a lot is key in change management. When managing teams through change, teach team members how to change. Teaching them what is needed to change will speed up making the change plus you are more likely to get the change you are expecting. Always train and teach your staff through change. Finally, when leading teams through change, hold teams and team members accountable for making the changes needed. There are 5 key actions to take in parallel to hold team members accountable during change – make sure you are taking each one. If you have any questions on “6 Actions to Make Change Easier for Any Team”, please email me at support@enhance.training and I will get back to you. Jess Coles Enhance.training
Daily Steps Toward Success: Motivation / Success / Inspiration
Get instant access to the Why You Aren't Taking Action Video : successbykayla.com
"The Tao that can be describedis not the eternal Tao.The name that can be spokenis not the eternal Name.The nameless is the boundary of Heaven and Earth.The named is the mother of creation.Freed from desire, you can see the hidden mystery.By having desire, you can only see what is visibly real.Yet mystery and realityemerge from the same source.This source is called darkness.Darkness born from darkness.The beginning of all understanding." Lao TzuNew Moon Arrives(d): Sunday, April 27, 2025 at 12:31PM. PST, continuing on in LUNAR CYCLE 3. At the Equator, we are entering into Cycle 2. Sol + Luna Cycles: The Spring/Fall New Moon Musings, Silent Meditation and Sound-Electromagnetic Therapy. If inspired, Pause, Be and Listen.Contemplation:Are you ready to listen deeply? What are you ready to create from within?Where are you ready to make change from within?Are you willing to integrate what you hear before taking action?Time Stamp: Dharma Moon Musing 0:00 | Meditation at :23:00 | Sound :54:00 | Outro 1:28:00Music‘Fields of Flowers' by Cadre ScottPurchase River Single HereRandom RabRandom Rab Interview:Purchase Album + UpComing Shows:Dante MarinoSound Suzanne ToroProduction brought to you by OmToro Wellness + MediaMind Training: 8 Limbs Yoga Session: Weekly Writings and Well BeingHumanity + Earth Friendly Goodies:SuperfeastLiving TeaKindSpringFormula FlawlessZinZino Balance Oil Balance + Focus Quick LinkOra CacoaBook: SunPlayHoney Bee HippieTriqueta
Today on the Jimmy Barrett Show:Financial literacy
Jennifer Montgomery from Voices for Progress Lake Travis (@v4plaketravis) in the Austin, TX area joins Jenn Tully to talk about what people can do to affect change in their own community at times when they may feel uncertain or scared.https://ltvoicesforprogress.org/https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0jJDIds32MBVgQ5L2jE5bY?si=37bb039a549e40f21. You Get What You Give by New Radicals2. Here Comes The Sum by The Beatles3. We Didn't Start The Fire by Fallout Boy4. Stand by REM
This is it. The final chapter of Make Change That Lasts, and it's the most important one.Why? Because this chapter completes the loop. We started this journey by talking about how our lives are shaped by invisible reliances—habits, thought patterns, and societal expectations we don't even realize we depend on. We've worked through breaking free from the ones that hold us back, building resilience, and reclaiming our time, energy, and well-being. But here's the thing—none of it matters if we don't connect back to the people around us.This final episode is about one of the biggest paradoxes in life: The more you give, the more you thrive. The stronger you become, the more you can support others—and that, in turn, lifts you even higher. This is the gift of reliance.References:“Make Changes That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
In this episode, we're diving into Chapter 8 of Make Change That Last, by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee "How are you?"When was the last time someone asked you that?And when was the last time you answered:"Oh, I've just been so busy."or"Nonstop, man. Just grinding, trying to get everything done."Sound familiar?We live in a world where busyness is the default.We're taught that if we're not constantly working, rushing, producing… we're somehow falling behind.But let me challenge you on this:
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In this episode of "Schmidt List," host Kurt Schmidt engages with Sarah and Ashleigh from Messhill to discuss the art of strategic decision-making and organizational development. As seasoned professionals, Sarah and Ashleigh specialize in guiding leaders and teams through complex challenges, equipping them with the skills to tackle future decisions independently.They share valuable insights from their experiences, emphasizing the importance of understanding both internal and external dynamics while addressing organizational fatigue. The discussion also explores the impact of remote work on change management and the necessity of a flexible, supportive strategy to navigate ever-changing environments. Ashleigh introduces the fascinating concept of regeneration, drawing on ecological principles to improve organizational systems over time. This episode is a must-listen for those curious about how strategic decisions can embrace complexity while driving growth.Check out: https://www.messhill.comVisit https://schmidtconsulting.group for more from Kurt!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/schmidt-list-entrepreneurial-insights--2664825/support.
We all have moments from our past that have shaped us—some good, some painful. But when we let those experiences define us, when we hold on to resentment, regret, or shame, we chain ourselves to something that no longer serves us. And the reality is, holding onto the past can literally make us sick.This isn't about blame. It's about awareness. It's about realizing that our emotional health is deeply connected to our physical health—and if we want to thrive, we have to let go of what's holding us back.References:“Make Changes That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
The last thing the New York Knicks wanted to deal with this close to the postseason is another injury. Unfortunately, that seems to be the case as Miles McBride is set to miss multiple games due to groin injury. Because of this issue, NY is being forced to make a major change to the rotation, which some Knick fans have been waiting for... Troy Mahabir breaks all of this down! SHOW CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:51 - Miles McBride Missing Multiple Games! 01:22 - Deuce McBride Out Multiple Games... 03:55 - Kolek Has Amazing Ability For Playmaking w/ Bench 05:55 - Tom Thibodeau Cannot Ignore Kolek Anymore 07:58 - Pacome Dadiet Deserves Minutes Over Achiuwa 09:58 - Knicks Must Understand Rotations They Have Access To LISTEN NOW TO GET YOUR KNICKS FIX! Catch the latest special interviews, shorts, fan interactions, and more by following the show! Don't forget to turn on notifications so you don't miss another episode! Rather Watch the latest Knicks Recap episode? Catch us on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/@TheKnicksRecap Follow The Knicks Recap on all social media platforms! Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheKnicksRecap Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/TheKnicksRecap/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/u/TheKnicksRecap?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheKnicksRecap/ Rather Listen to The Knicks Recap on a different platform? Catch us on ALL of your favorite streaming platforms: Apple Podcast: https://apple.co/3SKSl8o Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3QrEfr6 iHeart Radio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-the-knicks-recap-a-new-yor-100895112/ Amazon Music: https://amzn.to/3QoZrOd Other Pod Channels: https://anchor.fm/the-knicks-recap Grab our MERCH featuring some of the graphics you've seen us create to take your Knicks fandom to the NEXT LEVEL: MAIN STORE: https://theknicksrecap.myspreadshop.com/ CashApp: $TheKnicksRecap Have a comment about the show, an interview, or a graphic idea? Reach out to The Knicks Recap on ALL SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS!
Let me ask you something—have you ever felt like you're making progress in life, only to suddenly hit a setback and think, What the hell? I thought I was on the right path! Why is this happening to me?Maybe you've been training consistently, eating well, and then—boom—you get sick, or injured. Maybe you've been saving money and budgeting, then suddenly your car breaks down and eats up your emergency fund. Maybe your relationship has been smooth sailing, then out of nowhere, an argument shakes your confidence.We all experience this, and yet we constantly act shocked when things don't go our way. Why? Because most of us have been conditioned to believe that progress should be linear. That once we start improving in an area of life, it should be like stepping onto an escalator that smoothly takes us upward. We expect steady gains, predictable progress, and minimal resistance.But the truth? Life does not work that way.Progress is nonlinear. And if you don't learn to expect adversity, to factor in setbacks, you're setting yourself up for stress, frustration, and failure.This chapter dives into why we must stop expecting smooth sailing and instead build resilience for the inevitable ups and downs. Because adversity isn't the problem—your reaction to it is.References:“Make Changes That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
Today, we're diving into Chapter 5 of Make Change That Last, by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee We live in an age where everyone has an opinion, and with social media, those opinions are louder than ever. But what happens when someone disagrees with you? Do you get angry, defensive, and frustrated? If so, you might be relying too much on being right. And this reliance is holding you back more than you think.Today, we're breaking down why taking offense is a choice, why our brains crave validation, and how letting go of the need to be right will make you calmer, healthier, and more in control. This is one of the most powerful mindset shifts you can make—not just for your own well-being, but for your relationships, career, and overall happiness.References:“Make Changes That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
Some changes last forever. Others disappear in weeks. What makes the difference? In this episode, I break down the real reason most people never create lasting transformation—why you're not lacking willpower, but the right system to install habits that stick. You'll learn: ✔ The real reason willpower isn't enough ✔ How Royal Marines training rewires your brain for discipline ✔ The exact process to make execution your default—without burnout If you're serious about training your mind like a high performer, DM me “training” on Instagram @tomfoxley or head to tomfoxley.me for details on the upcoming Mental Fitness Training Camp.
Let me ask you something—how much of your day is actually uncomfortable?Not inconvenient. Not slightly annoying. Truly, physically or mentally uncomfortable.For most people, the answer is almost never.We live in a world that worships comfort. Everything is designed to make life easier, smoother, more convenient.Hungry? Food delivery to your door.Tired? Temperature-controlled beds.Bored? Infinite entertainment, 24/7.It's tempting to believe that comfort equals happiness. That the easier life gets, the better we feel. But that's a lie.In reality, comfort is making us weaker.We are getting physically softer. Chronic diseases like diabetes, obesity, and heart disease are skyrocketing because we move less than ever.We are getting mentally softer. The slightest inconvenience—slow WiFi, a late Uber, a text left on read—sends us into stress spirals.We are getting emotionally softer. When life throws challenges at us, we break down instead of rising up.We have lost our edge.But here's the thing—discomfort is not the enemy.Discomfort is how we grow.And if we want to thrive in life, we need to stop avoiding discomfort and start seeking it out.That's exactly what this chapter is about.References:“Make Changes That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
Marty is a pitch expert, business strategist, and trailblazing entrepreneur on a mission to help women and ambitious professionals build communities, bet on themselves, and achieve the extraordinary. Her brand, Boss Women Media, has cultivated a thriving network of women ready to level up in life and business, and she's gearing up for the release of her highly anticipated book. With a proven track record of securing game-changing opportunities, including getting her own brand inside Target, Marty teaches people how to craft compelling narratives, articulate their value, and confidently land deals that transform their futures. She's been featured on Side Hustle Pro and CBS Morning News and is renowned for creating platforms and communities that inspire and empower. https://www.instagram.com/martytmcdonald/ https://bosswomen.org/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZ-lZtYhznvSDvsIU07iewesTwasooRbRJkFgkrfk-RiQBZNkic10tZj9s_aem_GTDIM8MMv_BzIoESaoiP0g https://bosswomen.org/audacious/
In this episode, we're tackling something that holds so many people back from living authentically—the need to be liked.If you've ever:✅ Said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”✅ Avoided conflict just to keep the peace✅ Felt like you had to shrink yourself to fit inThen this episode is going to hit home.In Chapter 3 of Make Change That Lasts, Dr. Chatterjee shares his own struggles with people-pleasing and how breaking free from the need for validation changed his life. And today, we're diving into why relying on the approval of others is keeping you stuck—and how to finally set healthy boundaries that serve you.Let's get into it.References:“Make Change That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
Craig Polsfuss believes we can change in an instant because that's exactly what happened to him. There will be listeners of this episode who will connect with this mindset and there will be listeners who wave it off as malarky (you heard me, I said it, I said malarky). And guess what? Craig's good with either and both responses. As a licensed psychologist practicing over 4 decades, he's definitely seen and heard it all. In his late 20s, he had his own instant transformation, and it changed how he not just worked with his clients but also how he saw the world and saw himself within it. He's put all his feelings and findings into his book, Reality Shattering Insights, with the hope he can help spark others to find their own personal transformation and begin a life journey, no matter where you are at in your life. If you have been thinking about making a change, if you've been talking yourself out of doing it, if you have been waiting for a sign, if you are just open to it, this conversation may just be the spark you need. Spoiler Alert: I ask Craig if it's ever too late and his answer is one word, "NEVER." ______________________________________ Have you gotten your copies of Steve's series, THE DOG WALKING DETECTIVES? Book 1: DROWN TOWN Amazon: https://amzn.to/478W8mp Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/3Mv7cCk & Book 2: MURDER UNMASKED Amazon: https://shorturl.at/fDR47 Barnes & Noble: https://shorturl.at/3ccTy
Why does change feel so hard—and how can you make it effortless?If you've ever tried to force yourself into new habits, only to end up right back where you started (or worse, rebounding hard), you're not alone. Most people approach change in a way that's doomed to fail—because they're unknowingly working against their own brains.In this episode, I'm sharing:
If you've ever put someone on a pedestal, compared yourself to a “perfect” role model, or felt like you'll never measure up—this episode is for you.Today, we're diving into Chapter 2 of Make Changes That Last, where Dr. Rangan Chatterjee challenges one of the biggest obstacles to personal growth: the myth of the hero.We all have heroes—celebrities, athletes, influencers, even people in our own lives. But what if idolizing them is actually holding us back? What if constantly comparing ourselves to someone else is the very thing preventing us from thriving?Let's get into it.(Recap of Chapter 2 from Make Change Last by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee)References:“Make Change That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
Jamelle Bouie is a columnist at the New York Times. The way he argues in public is very different from the way he argues in his private life. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram
In this episode, we're kicking off our recap of the book Make Change That Lasts by Dr. Rangan Chatterjee—one of the best guides out there for making real, lasting change in your life. I loved this book so much that I went through it twice and now I'm going to help imprint and solidify what I have learned from reading it, by summarizing my take-aways with you. Jay Shetty called this book, Dr. Chatterjee's most insightful, inspiring and transformative book yet. Which is saying a lot because I really enjoyed all of the books I've read of his so far, and I have learned a ton from them. This book is packed with powerful lessons, and Chapter 1 lays the foundation with a message we all need to hear: Stop outsourcing your well-being. Start listening to your own body.If you've ever felt overwhelmed by conflicting advice… stuck in habits that don't serve you… or unsure how to truly tune into what your body needs, this episode is for you. Let's get into it.References:“Make Change That Lasts. 9 simple ways to break free from the habits that hold you back.”Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Brain.fm App(First month Free, then 20% off subscription)Discount Code: coachdamiensdCaldera Lab Skin Carewww.calderalab.comDiscount Code: CoachDLinks:IG:@coachdamien_sd@damienrayevans@livinthedream_podcast YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS6VuPgtVsdBpDj5oN3YQTgFB:https://www.facebook.com/coachdamienSD/
In this empowering episode of the HEAL with Kelly Podcast, I sit down with Dr Rangan Chatterjee, bestselling author and one of the UK's most influential doctors, to discuss his groundbreaking new book, Make Change That Lasts. With over 23 years of experience, Dr Chatterjee has inspired millions to live healthier, happier lives through his practical, science-backed approach to wellness. Together we explore how to create a life of balance, resilience, and inner peace. Dr Chatterjee shares his journey of moving beyond symptom-based medicine to uncover root causes, empowering individuals to take control of their health and happiness. He emphasizes the importance of cultivating self-trust amidst today's information overload and highlights the transformative power of small, intentional daily habits. Dr Chatterjee also shares personal practices, including his daily solitude routine and morning intention-setting, which have reshaped his mindset and approach to life. Tune in to this inspiring conversation to learn how to shift from reactivity to empowerment and take charge of your internal well-being. LINKS Dr Chatterjee Website: https://drchatterjee.com/ Dr Chatterjee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/ 'Make Change That Lasts' on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3URQykK Feel Better, Live More Podcast: https://drchatterjee.com/blog/category/podcast/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are you ready to make 2025 the most amazing year yet for your family? In this episode, Dr. Lindsay walks you step-by-step through a 3-part process for setting family New Year's Resolutions. That's right, New Year's Resolutions aren't just for adults - the whole family can gather to set intentions for the upcoming year and focus on positive change. She shares practical tips and inspiring ideas to help you set and achieve your goals while strengthening your family bonds. Get ready to transform your family's life and make 2025 a year to remember!
Going into 2025, we all want to make changes. But instead of focusing on new goals, and perhaps stacking more habits on top of ones that you've already got, or failed at before, maybe it's time to break free from habits that hold you back? Perhaps this is the reason why you struggle to make changes that last?On today's episode, Dr Rangan and I unpack some of the concepts in his latest book “Make Change that Lasts”, diving into topics like minimal reliance. Rangan questions whether reliance on things like comfort, being liked and even experts, is actually holding us back from our true selves.You can grab a copy of his book online and in good bookstores.We explore concepts such as reframing, not taking offence and even the courage to be disliked, which incidentally is the name of one of my favourite books by Ichiro Kishimi, which explains Alfred Adler's philosophy of not living to satisfy the expectations of others.Dr Rangan Chatterjee is one of the most influential doctors in the UK with over two decades of experience as a GP. He now hosts Europe's biggest health podcast, Feel Better, Live More, he is the author of 5 Sunday Times bestsellers.I think this is going to be a powerful conversation to hear and I hope you enjoy it!
Daily Steps Toward Success: Motivation / Success / Inspiration
Get instant access to the Why You Aren't Taking Action Video : successbykayla.com
Almost all of us have things in our lives that we would like to change - health, habits, relationships, etc. While making changes can be hard, the first step to successful change is finding the correct mindset and belief in ourselves. Visit ConfidenceThroughHealth.com to find discounts to some of our favorite products.Follow me via All In Health and Wellness on Facebook or Instagram.Find my books on Amazon: No More Sugar Coating: Finding Your Happiness in a Crowded World and Confidence Through Health: Live the Healthy Lifestyle God DesignedProduction credit: Social Media Cowboys
How To Make Change in 2025 As we get into the New Year, I've noticed that people are getting back to their old ways. That's okay. It's a journey. But what is that journey? Winston Churchill said, "To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often." And it helps if you understand the stages of change: 1) Pre-Contemplation. You may intend to take action but are unaware that your behavior is the problem. 2) Contemplation. You recognize the problem and start to debate the pros and cons of your actions. 3) Preparation. You intend to take action soon. You may even begin small steps. 4) Action. The process of making the specific changes required to create your new life begins. 5) Maintenance. Sustain your efforts for at least six months. You will likely achieve a life-long transformation. 6) Termination. You have zero temptation and are sure you will not return to your old unhealthy habits. Winston Churchill said something else - "For myself, I am an optimist — it does not seem to be much use being anything else." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Tom Curran talks with Brian Hoyer to get his 3-step plan to fix the Patriots' offense. What can the Patriots do to elevate Drake Maye next season?1:30-Hoyer's 3-step plan to fix the Patriots' offense4:00-3 areas of improvement for Drake Maye15:00-Cons of replacing Alex Van Pelt18:00-How do the Patriots attract free agents? WATCH every episode of the Patriots Talk podcast on YouTubeFollow NBC Sports Boston:NBCSportsBoston.comX @NBCSpatriotsFacebookInstagramTikTok
Dr. Rangan Chatterjee is a renowned physician, one of Britain's most influential medical voices, and author of the new book, “Make Change That Lasts.” This conversation explores the intersection of neuroscience and human potential as it introduces his groundbreaking concept of “minimal reliance.” Dr. Chatterjee deconstructs why we remain tethered to patterns that no longer serve us, while offering actionable tools for lasting change. Don't miss this conversation—it might transform your thoughts about personal evolution. Enjoy! Note: As a special bonus, we're giving away a Dr. Chatterjee Book Bundle. Subscribe to the newsletter at richroll.com/subscribe for a chance to win. Show notes + MORE Watch on YouTube Newsletter Sign-Up Today's Sponsors: Bon Charge: Use code RICHROLL to save 15% OFF
In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of identity, self-sabotage, and the journey to becoming one's authentic self. We discuss insights from 'The Mountain is You,' the impact of societal labels, and personal stories of overcoming corporate life pressures. Practical advice is shared on how to reconnect with your true passions, navigate identity shifts, and find joy in everyday life. The conversation covers the importance of checking in with oneself, understanding personal goals, and continuing to strive for a life fueled by authentic desires rather than external expectations. A must-listen for anyone feeling stuck in their current identity or looking to make meaningful life changes! Link to the webinar: https://oliviatati.easywebinar.live/event-registration-5 Book a call to see if you would be a good fit for Wanderlust Wealth Academy: https://calendly.com/theoliviatati/wanderlustwealthacademy Learn more about WWA here: https://www.oliviatati.com/wwa Hang out with me on IG: @theoliviatati / @wanderlustwealth.show Watch this episode on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Theoliviatati/
You know, a lot of people think they can change whenever they want. Like, “Oh, I'll quit this bad habit or start this good one when I'm ready.” But the reality? It's way tougher than we give it credit for. Every little decision we make today, the habits we build, they stack up over time and start to form who we are. And the more you repeat those habits—whether good or bad—the harder they are to shake tomorrow, or a year from now. It's like this: if you keep making the same choices day after day, they stop being just decisions. They turn into traits, almost like second nature. And when you've built your life around certain routines, changing them down the line feels like trying to move a mountain. Suddenly, that “I'll change when I'm ready” becomes a whole lot harder. The thing is, the future version of you is completely shaped by the choices you're making right now. So the sooner you realize that every little habit today is building the foundation for tomorrow, the quicker you'll understand how important it is to start making the right decisions now. It's not about waiting for some perfect moment to change—it's about setting yourself up for the future, one small decision at a time. We love you all so, so much.
A report over the weekend called Kirk Cousins one of the top offseason-trade pieces in the NFL. How soon could the Atlanta Falcons realistically move on from Cousins and would would have to happen? Nick and Scott get into it on this edition of the Falcons Podcast. Get 20% OFF at Lion Coffee with our code GOFALCONS20 https://www.lioncoffee.com/ (Cases and 100% Kona not included) Nick Kendell: https://twitter.com/NickKendellMHH Scott Kennedy: https://www.youtube.com/c/scottkennedy?sub_confirmation=1 For More Atlanta Falcons News: https://www.si.com/nfl/falcons/ #Falcons #atlantafalcons #DirtyBirds The Falcons Podcast: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/4Sa2BYyM3pLAV78VXAb1Cs iTunes - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-falcons-podcast/id1625096227?uo=4 iHeart - https://www.iheart.com/podcast/53-the-falcons-podcast-97509849/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Harris: Matt Eberflus should give up defensive play-calling, make change at offensive coordinator (Hour 3) full 2486 Mon, 04 Nov 2024 20:51:50 +0000 COu2LbNwk83KhfJnN5v5tGfOe2rdPsfH sports Bernstein & Harris sports Harris: Matt Eberflus should give up defensive play-calling, make change at offensive coordinator (Hour 3) Dan Bernstein and Marshall Harris bring you fun, smart and compelling Chicago sports talk with great listener interaction. The show features discussion of the Bears, Blackhawks, Bulls, Cubs and White Sox as well as the biggest sports headlines beyond Chicago. Leila Rahimi joins the show as a co-host on Wednesdays. Recurring guests include Bears linebacker T.J. Edwards, Pro Football Talk founder Mike Florio, Cubs outfielder Ian Happ and Cubs president of baseball operations Jed Hoyer. Catch the show live Monday through Friday (10 a.m.- 2 p.m. CT) on 670 The Score, the exclusive audio home of the Cubs and the Bulls, or on the Audacy app. 2024 © 2021 Audacy, Inc. Sports False https://player.amperwavepodcasting.com?feed-link=https%3A%2F%2Frss.am
In this episode we are talking not about turning dollars into coins, we're are talking about turning dreams into reality
After a disappointing start to his rookie career, the Packers have cut kicker Brayden Narveson and signed former Jaguars kicker Brandon McManus. McManus was released by the Commanders in the offseason due to a civil suit being filed against him. The NFL recently declared he would not be disciplined and the civil suit has likely been settled. Jordan and Numac talk about the Packers' decision to sign him as well as break down the upcoming matchup against the Houston Texans on the latest episode of Talk of the Tundra. Visit GSPN.info subscribe to the Premium GSPN Substack to receive ad-free GSPN episodes, exclusive written articles and weekly episodes of “GSPN After Dark.” Thanks to South Loonier, Justin Saeian and Ben Kolp for being Founding Members. GSPN is proud to call Blue Wire's network of podcasts home. You can (and should) follow Rohan, Ti, Adam, Jordan, Andrew, Numac, and Gyro Step, Win In 6, Crewsing for a Brewsing and Make Time for This podcasts on Twitter. Don't forget to leave a 5 star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to get us to read your review live at the end of an episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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“Let's change the narrative.” From how to be an active participate in your care to how to help get your partner on board with your birth goals, Flor Cruz and Meagan talk about it all. Flor Cruz is the founder of BadassMotherBirther and a long-time friend of The VBAC Link. A two-time VBAC mom herself, Flor is passionate about equipping all moms with the education they need to feel empowered in their birth space. Meagan and Flor share the importance of paying attention to red flags and how to recognize them even within your body. They talk about how feeling safe in your birth environment and being able to acclimate can literally change your birth outcome. These two ladies have been where you are. They know how overwhelming it can be trying to prepare for an empowering and healing birth after tough ones. But Women of Strength, you are not alone. Together, we truly can make birth after Cesarean better. Flor's WebsiteNeeded WebsiteHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Meagan: Hello, everybody. Welcome to The VBAC Link. Today's episode is with one of my absolute favorite people. Even though I actually haven't met her personally, I've been following her forever and we've been doing things and connecting back and forth for years. I am just so stinking excited to have the one and only Flor Cruz from BadassMotherBirther on the show today. We're going to get into the nitty gritty and really talk about some feelings so be prepared for that. If you don't know who Flor Cruz is yet, I highly suggest checking out BadassMotherBirther. She is the creator of BadassMotherBirther. She is a doula, a birth and human rights advocate, a childbirth educator, and also a mom of 5 and two-time VBACer. You guys, I'm so stinking excited to have her on the show. We do have a Review of the Week and then we are going to jump right into our episode. Today's review is by mamaofboys0326. It says, “The Best Podcast About Birth and VBACs”. It says, “I had my first baby after a very unexpected C-section. I had done everything right to try and have a natural birth and things did not go as planned. When I got pregnant again only 6 months after him, I knew I wanted a VBAC but didn't know where to go for information and support. This podcast was exactly what I needed. The birth stories and education, information, and inspiration that is provided is amazing. It helped me know the facts about VBAC and be inspired to be a Woman of Strength. I am here to say I just had a successful VBAC and I am so thankful for the inspiration that this podcast has provided for me through the whole journey.”Oh my goodness. Mamaofboys0326, thank you so much for your review and congratulations on your VBAC. We love you. All right, let's get into today's show.Meagan: Okay, so we're just going to dive right in because the conversation we were having before we started pressing record was exactly what I feel like I want to talk about today and everybody, right before we were pushing record, we are going to talk about doulas. We are birth workers. We are VBAC moms. We see a lot of stuff and we've also been through a lot of stuff so we understand you. We get you. We hear you. We see you. We see it every day in all of the VBAC communities even not in the VBAC communities. I'm seeing so much of the same questions and comments and things. I just wanted to talk a lot about some of those things. One of them was a doula and how we can't expect them to save us as VBAC birthers, right? I was telling her about a situation with a client who unfortunately came with a lot of question and doubt in what she was being told, but then in the end, the decision that was made which is not my decision to make or judge or anything, but it was a decision that was made that unfortunately turned into the cascade that a lot of us see. The hardest part is that person was pretty upset with us. That was hard. That was hard for me so what she posted a post. I think it was actually this month maybe. I think it was this month and she just said, “The birth plan will not save you. The doula will not save you,” because we hear a lot of people say, “I hired the doula. I did the birth plan. I did this. I did that and it still didn't work out in the way.” I love what you were just saying about insurance. Can you tell them about that? Flor: Yeah, so I think when a lot of people hire doulas and they take the classes and they do the things and the birth plan, a lot of those things you have to utilize them well. Okay? We are tools. Doulas themselves are interventions. We are interventions for the system. We are an intervention for you, right? Interventions can also create good outcomes. You can get insurance for your vehicle, but if you are not following the rules of the road and you are not utilizing your car the way you are supposed to, then the insurance is going to be garbage. It's really not going to mean anything. This is the part that people need to realize when they are hiring outside people to come in and help them. There is a certain layer of work that you need to be doing that your doulas cannot do for you. I can't make you not be scared. I can't make you participate in your care. I can't make you make informed decisions. I can't make you have conversations with your provider and ask them to do their due diligence with you. We can't force those things. We can suggest things and we can give you information, but at the end of the day, those decisions are your own and when you make those decisions, they come with benefits and risks. The doulas don't have the magic wand to fix those consequences of certain decisions. We just don't. I think people have that expectation that the doula is going to come in with this cape and everything is going to be good no matter what decisions are made. That's just not how it goes. Then there are people who really do the work. They release the fears. They see the chiropractor. They hire the best provider that they can. They are doing all of the things. They are participating in their care. They are asking the questions. They are doing all of those things. They are staying home as long as they can and then sometimes they still have a C-section. Right? Meagan: Mhmm. It's frustrating. Flor: It's frustrating but it's also a reality of birth that some people just do need C-sections. Sometimes you just don't know why. You don't know why. Sometimes we walk away going, “Fuck. I don't know what the hell happened.” Everything was aligned so great, but we still had a C-section and sometimes it's just a matter of the mammal of their home. I know that is a really hard pill to swallow for a lot of people, but we need to understand that mammals are not inherently built to leave their homes in the middle of labor to go give birth somewhere else in a building with strangers and lights and sounds. Sometimes no matter what you have done, the mammal will not give birth in that environment. Meagan: Mhmm. Flor: It's not going to give birth within the standard practice that are within those systems. They want to see the baby out within a certain timeframe. There is a lot that is happening. Meagan: Yeah, a lot. We've talked about this on the podcast before. When we choose to birth in the hospital which is fine, there is this sense of acclimation that has to happen and sometimes, we don't acclimate properly. It's so weird that sometimes I think about the situation too like when I remodeled my house and my wood flooring had to acclimate well and there was a certain part, there was an actual box. For some reason, it was something weird and it didn't acclimate and it rejected the space. It didn't lay correctly. It didn't work. Sometimes our bodies go in and we don't know why. Sometimes we are tense or whatever and we don't acclimate well or we finally start to acclimate but all of these interventions start to come in and these other people so then our body freaks out again and then it's just a mess. It's just a mess. We can do our best as doulas or birth workers to encourage and motivate, but we really cannot be the deciding factor of you getting induced or not induced or you doing an IUPC or not doing that IUPC. We can't be that deciding factor so if you're listening and you haven't hired a doula or you have a doula, just know that we absolutely want to be there and we love you and we want to help you have a better outcome. We really, really do, wholeheartedly. There have been births where I have walked away bawling actually because I was like, What the hell happened? Then I start questioning what I have done or what I could have done better. That's so hard and that's a whole other conversation for birth workers processing that. In the end, we have to make sure as VBAC parents that we really are willing to put all the work in and accept what's going on and take charge of what's going on. Flor: Mhmm, mhmm. Yeah and also VBAC parents are probably more showing up with the extra layer of fear. We're showing up with so much fear and different layers than someone who hasn't gone through something that was potentially traumatic or a past experience to that degree so there is more, right? This isn't to shit on hospital births. It's not about that because I've also seen plenty of home births go way south. It's not about that. It's about so many things that are not being unraveled. Too many people are showing up to the spaces that don't know what they are doing that are not practicing evidence-based care that are not upholding autonomy, that are not being compassionate, that are not being vulnerable with someone, that are not staying in the moment with the birth, that are doing everything in a medically defensive manner. Everything is judged by risk and that's how we are going to move forward. We see midwives do that all of the time. It's not just the hospitals, right? It's not always just leaving your home. Someone coming into your home with all of their fucking medical equipment and assistance and charts and cell phones and iPads. That's all disturbing too. It's not just the hospitals. There's so much shit that needs to be unraveled here but at the end of it, one person, your doula, cannot save you from all of that. They cannot. They can make some outcomes better. Yes, the research shows us that.But if you think we are going to show up and 100% save you from so many things, that's just not the reality. It's not. Meagan: Yeah, like you said earlier, it can be a hard pill to swallow. Even as a VBAC mom myself, I put a lot of faith and I put my doulas and my midwife on this totem pole over here that was like, “I've got this because they've got me.” That wasn't necessarily the right attitude. It wasn't the right way to enter my birth space. I think I had to process that for a really long time in my 42-hour-long labor and accept that and realize, this is me. This is me. We have to take charge of our birth. But what I think as a doula, one of my biggest messages is that we want to see change. We want to see change in this birth world. There are a lot of things to unravel and change and just fix in this birth world but we are not seeing them happen. So why are we not seeing them happen? Because we are not making the change. That sounds like a lot of pressure on us as birthers, but it is. It is up to us to make the change and until we get out of the status quo and the normal path of what the system wants no matter home birth or not, we're not going to see change. We have to educate ourselves. Flor: Yes. This isn't a thing to shame parents to tell them they are not doing enough or they are not making good decisions. Nobody should ever have to step into figuring out how they are going to birth their baby with having to figure out who is the best provider. You should be able to show up anywhere and be able to have 100% support. Already, that's the problem. We're showing up to these spaces and not getting what we need. Also, what people need to realize is that the things we have now in the birth space like pushing in the positions that you want, talking about physiological birth, and skin-to-skin contact. Those are the things that were stripped from us through the industrialized medical system and we as the people fought for those things back. Meagan: And still have to. Flor: And still have to. Those are not things that, Oh, it's great. They're coming along and giving us all of these things. Everything we have now, you guys, we had to fight back for. It's going to be the same concepts when you are looking to have a VBAC. It's going to be the same concept. You have to participate in your care and I get it. Culture grooms us to just listen to our doctors. That's where the seed is in our foundation. You just listen to the doctor. You are not smarter than them. You don't have a degree. They are the professional and if you don't listen, you don't love your baby enough. Meagan: Yeah, exactly. You don't love your baby enough or you are putting yourself and your baby at risk by making these choices when intuitively, for years, we were birthing off of intuition. We were truly, I believe, birthing from our intuition many, many, many, years ago and we have lost it. It's like someone has stripped our ability to tune into that intuition because like she said, we are so groomed to trust this other area. We lose our intuition but it's so much there. You have it. You have it in your heart and your soul. Your intuition exists. You just have to listen. Sometimes that means going into a quiet place and tuning into what your heart is saying versus what the outside world is saying and burdening in fear. I think that is the biggest part in trying to figure out intuition is, Is this fear or is this my heart saying this? What is right? A lot of people will steer away from home birth when their heart is like, This is where I need to be. My heart is in my home. But for some reason, someone said something so their fear creeps in and now they confuse that with their intuition. Flor: Absolutely. What's the easiest way to get someone to comply? To tell them that they are endangering their baby. That is the quickest and easiest way to get anybody to comply is to give them the threat of their baby dying. Meagan: That's what my second provider told my husband. My second provider used my husband. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. It was a really super dumb thing that he did but he was really smart. He used my husband against me because that's all I had was my husband with my second, my VBAC attempt, my TOLAC or my CBAC. Yeah. He used him against me. He was like, “Listen. Your wife is not being smart right now. This is not okay. Your baby is at risk.” So what did my husband do? Freak the hell out. “We need to go down and do a C-section. We need to.”But then I didn't have anybody with me. I had everyone against me because that fear, that one comment of, “This isn't good for your baby,” that was it. That was it. That was all that needed to be said. Flor: That's generally all it really takes. But I think if we get to that point with our providers, then the next step needs to be one, stay calm. You need to stay calm. You need to not make that fear a reality in your brain. Your provider has the responsibility to show you the burden of proof. Meagan: That's a powerful message right there. Flor: That's your provider's responsibility right there. They are not supposed to be talking to you without giving you actual, real numbers. By the way, that's what you need to be asking providers when they're saying some shit that is real left field is, “Can you show me the burden of proof? Can you show me the real numbers and evidence to this? That's what I'm looking for.”When we walk into these spaces and we want to say, “I trust my providers,” I think that that's great that you trust your provider, but that doesn't mean that you fail to participate in your care, that you fail to ask the questions, that you fail to make informed decisions, that you fail to say, “Let me see the numbers on that. You're telling me that my rupture rate is 15%. Can you please show me that on paper? And can you please show me out of that 15% rate of rupture how much of that is actually catastrophic which means that me or my baby will die from that?” They will not be able to produce any of those papers because it's not real. It's not real. I always tell people this. Put the same energy into finding out who your partner's exes are. You're figuring out their Facebook. You're looking at their pictures. You found their cousins. You found all this information about your partner's exes. Put that same energy into your providers. Put that same energy into their care. Right? Meagan: You deserve it. Flor: You deserve it. You deserve to have someone on your team who is knowledgeable, isn't going to lie to you, and is continuing to learn and do the research because that is also another big fault of providers is they are not keeping up with the research. They are still doing the same shit they were doing 20 years ago. Meagan: You know, I even think that sometimes when providers see research, it's there. They are given it. It's like, “Well, that's not how it really is,” because that's not how they are practicing. So it's not like, “Wow, I need to make some adjustments in my care.” They just keep going so that's why we have this crazy lack of change. That's why some countries are 10 years ahead of us because we for some reason aren't willing to make change when the facts are provided. Flor: Right. I think especially in the United States, we really glorify licenses and degrees. We glorify people who have this sense of authority over us. It makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside, but why is that? Why is it that we don't feel smart enough to be the head of our own care? Why? Meagan: Why do you think? Flor: It shouldn't be that way. Meagan: No. No. It shouldn't, but it is so easily that way. We just don't. We just don't. Flor: We just don't and I know sometimes it's a cultural difference. Both of my parents are immigrants from Nicaragua so for them to come to the United States and have access to healthcare and have access to get seen by a doctor and to get antibiotics and get help and get x-rays, that's amazing to people who come from a country where they don't have access to stuff like that. I was raised with, “This is amazing. We have doctors here. You should just do what they are telling you because we are just so grateful to have access to this care,” that we are just blindly following what they are saying. I'm the first person in the family to question, “Well, what if this person is wrong?” Meagan: You're the first person in your family? Flor: What if this person is wrong? I'm the first person to really fully participate in my healthcare. That is not in the norm in my family because of the culture that we are immigrants so there is also that layer of where our family's are from and is this new to us? Is having access to healthcare new to your generation in your family? Because that's a whole other layer that you've got to uncover now too. Meagan: Yeah, I actually didn't even think of that. Flor: Yes. Absolutely. Meagan: Wow, yeah. Flor: We're getting ready to have these babies so it's like, you're going to have this brand new little human that you are now going to have to advocate for. Getting on that wheel of participating and advocating prenatally during your pregnancy, your labor, your postpartum, that's all gearing up for you to get ready to advocate for a new human for the rest of your life. If you think you're not going to end up in an ER at some point in time with that child and you're going to have to advocate, you are dead-ass wrong. At some point, you will end up in the ER and have to really ask the questions and not just hand your child over and just do whatever you want type situation. We have to realize that starts now. Meagan: With us being able to advocate and take charge of our own care. You know, I know. I definitely have had the personality in the past and it's still in me. It's still very much in me where I'm like, oh I'm a people pleaser. I'm like, “Sure. Okay fine. It's probably not that big of a deal. Obviously you seem very passionate about that so we will just go along with that.” We're going to say breaking water for instance. A provider comes in and says they want to break your water and you're like, “I didn't want that. I know I didn't want that. That was something I knew I didn't want. It's on my birth plan. I didn't want to break my water, but this provider is saying it. They seem really passionate about it, so I guess I will just back down on that and let it go even though I'm really passionate about it. Sure, go ahead. Break my water.” Flor: Yes. Meagan: Right? But why? Why are we allowing that if it's something that we really, really, really, really don't want, why do we just back down so easily? Flor: There are a few things that are going on here and I think for women in particular, we are raised to people please. We are raised to take care of everybody's needs around us but women in general to people please. Women are raised to not ruffle anybody's feathers, not make anybody upset, give people what they want, and that's our only job so when someone comes into the room and says they need you to x, y, and z, our brains are calculating that as there is a need that has to be fulfilled and I have to fulfill that. But the other thing that is happening here too is that we do have mammalian mechanisms in place to protect us and to help us survive within the wild. So if we have someone coming in who is looking like they are this sense of authority who could potentially feel like a source of threat like a predator to us, the mammal will give in to the predator's demands to avoid further harm. There are layers of mammal instinct that are happening here as well. It's happening on a subconscious level. So this is where a doula will help. The doula is the person who is outside of that who can step in to say, “Hey, I understand that this wasn't part of your plan. Is there any medical reason why this should be happening? Just to speed up the labor isn't a medical reason so I just want to remind you that your birth plan is pretty ironclad so if this is not something that you want to do, I fully support you doing that.” Right? Then we give the benefits, the risks, the information, and then let the parent decide what they want to do. But ultimately, this is a lot of the time what ends up happening. The parent does what the provider says. Meagan: Yeah.Flor: The doula is not going to save you from that. Meagan: No. Flor: We can't. Meagan: It's hard, you guys. Women of Strength, we want to protect you. We want to help you get your birth plan and have that amazing experience that you do deserve and that you have worked hard for, but like she said, we can give you everything as doulas, but then it really is up to you or us as parents to make that ultimate decision and if we do that and just back down because we want to meet that person's need, we then have to deal with what happens after that. We have to accept that. I don't like the work deal. We are going to accept that because that was the choice we made. Flor: Yes. It's the choice that we are doing. Meagan: If we are going to go into a store and steal something, we have to understand that there are repercussions from stealing that item. Whether or not you get caught and you are just feeling guilt or whatever, there are going to be feelings so if we do something just because someone wants us to, then we sit down and we're like, Oh crap. Or if it goes awry, then there's no one else to blame and that's the hardest part as a VBAC parent and a VBAC doula from those two standpoints. It's a hard thing. Flor: It's a really hard thing. As much as we're asking our providers to give us that information and to give us the burden of proof and ask them, “Why are you suggesting this intervention?” It's also important that you have that conversation with yourself. Why am I not choosing to do this or to do this? You also need to ask yourself that because if you are saying yes or no to something, are we saying yes or no out of fear? The thing I see a lot of the time too is that people are completely fucking exhausted. The system has completely dragged them through hell and back just to get to that moment and people are fucking tired. Meagan: Yes. All people, but especially with VBAC. There is this extra layer of pressure to have our baby by certain dates and you have to be a certain centimeter or they won't induce. Or guess what? If you do hit this date, I won't even induce you. You have to have a C-section so we have all of this extra pressure and stress and angst. We're going out and we're trying to self-induce and we're trying to do all of these things. We are so stressed that we are not even able to get our head into a space of relaxing, calm, and willing to hear what our true intuition says because we are so wound up. Flor: We see it all the time in these VBAC groups. I stay in those VBAC groups heavily because I'll tell you what, providers act so fucking wild when nobody's around. When they think nobody's around to watch them, the shit that they say and do, they act so differently then these people come to these Facebook groups and tell us how their prenatal visit went and I'm fucking blown away by the things that they are saying and the things that they are doing and the things that are happening. And also really sad that people don't have the courage to stand up to their providers and to ask the questions and participate in their care. It's really sad to see that this is the place that we are at. I'm always, always seeing, “I have to be in labor by 39 weeks” or “I have to have an induction or I have to have a C-section”. That's the thing I see all the time. All the time. Meagan: You don't have to do anything. Or I see the “Let me”. “They will let me. They will let me.” Women of Strength, if you are this person and you're like, Oh crap. Yep. That's me. That's me saying that. Yep. My provider said they would let me, let's make a change. Let's make a change together. We have to do this as a community together and we deserve it as individuals to take better charge of our care and of our outcomes. Flor: Yeah, this is what this conversation is about. It's about trying to get to a place where we are more participating in our care and getting that better type of care and just asking the simple questions. And even asking for space. If you are just feeling really overwhelmed in the moment and you are feeling like you are about to comply simply out of fear or being stressed, that is the perfect time to say, “I need time to think about this.” Meagan: Yep and your doula can be there for you. If you have a doula, they can be there for you to help hold that space and talk about those things and navigate through what is really being felt and thought in your head. Right? Flor: Absolutely. Meagan: There are so many times and I never want to shame providers or shame anyone. That's not my goal ever in life. I don't like to shame, but at the same time, it drives me nuts when I see a provider come in and they say– it's like they are placing these seeds and then they are watering it with MiracleGro so it grows really thick and hard and then they are coming back in and they are dousing it with MiracleGro again. They come in and say weird things about breaking your water or whatever. You're like, “Maybe. I'll think about it.” You're like, “Yeah. I said no. I pushed it off and put it aside. We're not going to do it right now.” But then they come back in an hour later and are like, “Well, we really want to break your water.” Or now it's the nurse, “Well, the doctor really wants to come in and break your water.” Here's that second pour of MiracleGro so it's growing thicker and harder to resist that root and that seed so you're like, “Oh, no. I still think I want to wait. I really still think I want to wait.” But then the third time they come in and they are like, “Okay, we really think it's best to break your water. You're still hanging out around 6 centimeters. It's probably going to help speed up your labor and get this baby out. You don't want to do this forever. You're going to tire out your uterus.” Then they douse it again and you're like, “Fine. Sounds good.” We can't say no three times, but you can. You can. If that still doesn't feel right that third time, you can still say no. So I think here we are talking about all of the situations but how do we find that confidence? How do you think that we find this confidence to hold our rod and push through and not let it crack? Flor: Mhmm. For once, that starts prenatally. You cannot figure out who the fuck your provider is on the day you give birth. Meagan: You really can't. Flor: You need to participate prenatally. Even just any single little prenatal test. “Can you explain to me why you are suggesting this? What are the benefits? What are the risks? Can you show me the evidence on this?” Any little thing. I don't care if it is a urine exam. Your provider needs to see you participating all the way through and through so they know what to expect from you and what type of client you are actually going to be. That also gives you a good sense of, is this person willing for me to participate? Meagan: Yeah. Flor: Because you're either going to get a provider who goes, “I love that you're asking all of these questions and you're participating in your care and you're gaining knowledge. I love this.” A good provider will understand that that limits their liability if you are knowledgeable. The provider who does not like you asking questions is already a red flag. Meagan: Huge red flag. Flor: Huge. There are lots of times where you will find out who someone is very early on if you start participating there. Meagan: Yeah. Yeah. Flor: Then once we move to the actual labor, there is a decreased chance of you getting someone who you don't want at your birth. Now, if it keeps getting pressed of this issue of we need to intervene. We need to intervene. We need to intervene and at some point if you've had enough, you say, “Hey, can you put it in my medical chart that I have at multiple occasions made the decision to refuse this intervention and you are continuing to come in here and coerce me? Can you please write that on my medical chart?” Meagan: Yeah, what do you think they're going to do? Flor: They're not going to want to. As much as they use that medical chart for their own liability and their own benefit, you also need to be using that as your own tool. Meagan: Yeah. Flor: Hey, I don't want to discuss this again. Can you please write it in my chart that I'm not willing to discuss this any further? If you have anybody on your team who is just not listening, get rid of them. Why are we so scared to tell someone, “Hey, can you bring me another nurse who is on the staff please?” Meagan: Yeah. We are so vulnerable when we are in labor that we can't seem to find this space of advocating for ourselves to that extent of, Okay, every time this nurse comes in, my blood pressure goes through the roof. I'm clearly feeling a fight-or-flight experience. This is not going to help me or my labor or my baby and definitely not going to help me leave this experience feeling joyful or will cherish for the rest of my life. So if that person is in your space making you feel those things and your body is responding that way– because let me tell you. Our body is a huge factor in what happens and it's a response. We need to listen to it. Flor: It's so smart. Meagan: It is so smart. Flor: So smart. Meagan: If you get the chills every time someone comes in or you can feel your heart race every time someone comes in, that is a flag that someone shouldn't be in your space. That is okay. It is okay. We talked about this with Dr. Fox too with providers. No provider wants to be in a battle either. So if they are not going to be in that space of support and willingness to meet you and let you be a real– and “let” like not fight you against being an advocate for your own birth and being a participant in your own experience, that's not the right provider. And guess what? They probably don't want you as a patient either. And that's okay to say, “You know what? Thank you so much for all you have done and where you have brought me today. I'm going to discontinue care.” Or you can just leave and transfer your records. You do not have to stay or you can say to that nurse or to another nurse or whatever, “I would like to request a new person.” Flor: Yeah. Meagan: Please do not return to my room. We had this a long time ago. I think it was even before COVID, probably in 2018. We had a preeclamptic mom who was already really struggling with blood pressure. She was on magnesium. She felt like garbage. It was her fourth or fifth baby. I can't remember. It was a very stressful time. She was being induced and that was not what she wanted. She did have this nurse who came in. I'll tell you, she made my skin crawl. Everything, just the way she walked in. She didn't have to say a word and you could just feel that negative energy from her body. When she would speak to her and when she was touching her and maneuvering, it was just very aggressive and it was just ick. A lot of ick. I watched her blood pressure. I physically watched her blood pressure because she had to be on blood pressure the whole time. They were taking it every 15 minutes and I watched her vitals go up and then they would still go down and be high but they were clearly down. I started noticing that and I talked to her husband and I said, “Have you noticed this?” He's like, “Yeah.” I've noticed everything about her. She gets anxious. I was like, “Yeah.” We went over and we talked to her and she was like, “I hate her.” She's like, “I do not want her.” I said, “Then let's get rid of her. That's okay.” She said, “Wait, wait, wait. We can do that?” I said, “Yeah.” I went out to the desk and I just said, “Hey, is there any way we can get another nurse to come in here and chat?” She was like, “Yeah,” so she sent another nurse in and the patient was like, “I would really like to request a different nurse. I'm feeling really anxious when this nurse is in here. This is not what I'm needing. This is not the experience I want.” And they were like, “No problem.” We never saw her again, never. I didn't even see her out in the hall. Never. Her birth experience dramatically changed in a positive way in a really crappy situation that she didn't want, but it was a dramatic change and she was so happy. So happy. Flor: Yes. The environment and the vibes in there have to be immaculate. I think that's a part that people don't understand is if you're also having to fight through and through and through throughout the whole labor, I wouldn't expect a baby to want to be born into that environment. You cannot keep thinking of your body as this robot and as this mechanical thing. It is connected to your brain, to your emotion, to the environment, to your partner, the support system, and everything that is happening within the room. Our bodies are not going to release these tiny, little, precious, vulnerable mammals into the wild when the body feels that there are too many predators around and the environment is not safe. I see what happens here sometimes is that someone is fighting a lot throughout the whole labor and then they end up in a C-section and they go, “I just should have had the C-section to begin with because clearly my body doesn't work.” It's like, well no. You weren't even given a fair shot at having a VBAC would be having support through and through. That would be a fair shot, but when you are having someone who is putting you in fight or flight, adrenaline overload, cortisol overload, your pelvic floor is going to tighten up. It is going to go woooop. Meagan: Hold that baby in. Flor: The baby is not going to have the room to navigate, to rotate, to descend. Your body is so smart. I don't think people realize that your body is so smart and intelligent and works so well that it will hold your baby in when your body feels it is not a safe environment to be born. It's not a failure. It's a testament to how well your body actually works. Right? Meagan: Yes. Yes. Yeah, and the medical system really treats us in a way that we failed. Our body failed. Whatever. That's just not the case. It's not the case. It's that our body was brilliant and was responding to a really not awesome experience. Flor: Absolutely. Meagan: It is up to us to continue to advocate so keep doing that, Women of Strength. Advocate for yourself. Push through. Listen. Read the room too. Read your body. If you are feeling anxious, make change. That is where it is up to us to– I hate the word, but at the same time, we can't fail ourselves by not doing anything. If we do nothing, we are failing ourselves. We do not get the education. If we do not put forth the work and the effort, we're not giving ourselves an opportunity. Flor: You're not going to be able to change the outcome that the system is already curating for you. There is already this curation that is happening throughout this whole thing and is expected to end a certain way and you have to be the person that disrupts that curation and to build it to go a whole different direction. It shouldn't be that way. It shouldn't be our responsibility. We shouldn't have to go in there and advocate so fucking much. It shouldn't be that way but it's clear right now in 2024 that the system is not doing anything to improve these outcomes. None at all. Zero. So by default, it lands in the parents' lap. By default. Meagan: We're already doing so much so I know that you might even be overwhelmed listening to this episode and be like, Oh my gosh. Now I have to do this too? But you deserve it. Yes. Right now, it's unfortunate that we have to go in and we have to take charge of our own care but we can do it. You can do it. Even if you're a people pleaser, you can do it. You really, really can. Flor: You guys, always remember that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Meagan: I love that. Flor: The squeaky wheel gets the grease so be as loud as you need to. Advocate as much as you need to. Participate as much as you need to because that's the person who's going to get the grease, not the person who is sitting in compliance. Meagan: Yeah. Yep. Women of Strength, thank you for listening with us today. I hope that you enjoyed this conversation. We are very passionate. If you cannot tell, we are very passionate. We want things to be better for you. We want to see change. We as doulas want to advocate for that. We want to help you. We really, really want to help you, but in the end, it's in our laps. We have to push up. We have to keep going. I do think that it's going to take time. Unfortunately, it's probably going to take longer than we want it to, but if we keep advocating for this change and if we keep pushing forward and taking care of ourselves and our babies and all of this, we will slowly see change. We'll see it. It will come. Flor: Yes. You're not just advocating for yourself. You're advocating for all of the people behind you as well. If you're looking at it in the bigger picture as, “Okay, when I'm speaking up for myself, I'm speaking up for thousands of other families,” if you look at it like that, you will have the courage to speak up. Meagan: Yes. There is a listener, she was a VBAC after multiple Cesareans, more than three and everyone was shooting her down. No, no, no, no, no, no. She was like, “Nope. I'm going to do this.” She found the research and decided to go for it and did. She had a beautiful birth and a beautiful experience. Something I told her was, “You just changed that provider's world. You just changed anyone coming in in the future with VBAC after multiple Cesareans because that provider said, ‘You're not going to do this. It's not going to happen. Sure, I'm going to let you try, but it's just not going to happen. It's not possible,'” and then she showed her it was. Providers do hold onto experiences. They do. Sometimes they have to see enough experiences to change their mindest but if we keep pushing forward and showing that this is really okay– just with breech birth. Good golly. Let's get some more breech birth. Let's show these providers that breech is just a variation of normal. We just have to keep going. We have to keep going and it does. It's just bull crap that it's in our laps and we have to do it but we do. Flor: Yeah, it's all of us working together collectively quite honestly. It's all of us together doing our part even if it just feels so minute and so little to you. If every single one of us just did a tiny little spec of work, it's a huge fucking mountain that we are moving together. Meagan: I was just going to say think about how many people are in our communities alone let alone all of the people in the world. It's powerful so believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. You deserve it. You are strong. You are completely capable. Do the work. Do the work. That is something that we do have to do. Do the work. Let's see, what else? What other final message? Flor: Always ask for the burden of proof. Meagan: Yes. Always ask. Flor: I say it all the time, burden of proof. Show me the burden of proof. I want it on paper so I can make an informed decision. Always know that you legally have the right to make those decisions no matter what even if you are saying no to an intervention that could put you or your baby at risk. You still have the choice to say no even when real risk is at the front of your face. Risk is always subjective. That changes from person to person. You have the right to be treated like an actual human and not just a vessel. You matter too. Meagan: Yes. Ask questions. It's okay. It's okay to ask questions. You're not a problem for asking questions just to let you know. It's not a problem if you ask questions. That is something that in my opinion shows strength. If we are willing to ask a question, and it's okay to doubt too. It's okay to doubt. It's okay to be like, “I don't know if I believe that,” and then ask that question or “I've never heard of that. Can you show me the proof or can you show me what the outcomes are for this result?” Ask the questions. Flor: Not just tell me, show me. Meagan: Show me. Flor: I think another leg that people aren't paying attention to is when an intervention is being suggested, really pay attention to if your provider is telling you the benefits and risks of the other side. Meagan: And the alternatives. Flor: Because if they are just telling you one side of the coin, well that's coercive care. That's coercive information. They should be telling you the benefits and risks to each side and the alternatives and then letting you choose. That is competent care. Meagan: Yeah. If they're coming in and they are just telling you the risk of VBAC, we've talked about this. If they're just telling you all the risks about VBAC and they're not even talking about Cesarean, that is a problem right there. We talked about this. It starts prenatally, but I really– if you are not pregnant yet, I encourage you and you're like, Okay, I really want a VBAC, I encourage you to start right now. Flor: 100%Meagan: Find a provider right now. Start getting the education right now. You are in a whole different mind frame than you are going to be when you are pregnant. It's okay if you are starting when you are pregnant. Don't ever not start. But if you are not pregnant right now and it's like, Oh, I'm going to listen. I'm going to get these notes and I'll start when I'm pregnant because I'm not ready yet, I actually think it is a great time to start now. Get the VBAC education. Find the provider. Understand what you are wanting. Understand your rights because it really is a different ball game. Flor: It's a whole different ball game. When you have the luxury of time, take it. Do it because I feel like a lot of people go to get educated right at the end in the last trimester and I want you guys to know something. Your brain functionality starts to decrease at the end of pregnancy. Meagan: You're overwhelmed. Flor: You're not supposed to be using a lot of brain function at the end of pregnancy because your primal birth brain is trying to take over. You trying to learn at a time where your brain function is decreased is not optimal. It is not. You need to get educated absolutely now even if you're like, I'm just not sure if I want to have another baby, get educated. What is the risk to you getting educated? Meagan: Well, and honestly, it's just going to help the next person even if you don't have that baby and your best friend gets pregnant, you're going to help them and you're going to guide them in the right direction to help them get educated. You're going to help change. It's those minute changes that we are doing in life that are going to make a huge impact. Flor: Huge impact. Absolutely. Make sure that your partners are showing up with you because it is not going to be doable if your partner is showing up just to sit in the corner and be fearful and not understand things, not be educated, not know how to advocate, not know what questions to ask, they will not be of any help to you. You need someone who is going to show up in that same brain capacity and be able to hand it over to them essentially because you shouldn't be doing any type of fucking thinking during the labor. Meagan: Right? I mean, look at what happened to me. It went straight on to my husband and he was like, “I don't know,” and it was just like, “No, we've got to go. We've got to go.” It was awful. It was awful. It was really, really hard and it was something that I made sure was not going to happen again. We are not going to do that again. We are going to make sure that you are okay with this and that you understand so when someone just comes in and says this one little fear tactic, you don't just crumble to the floor. Flor: Absolutely. Absolutely. These partners have got to start showing up in a different way. They just cannot leave all of these childbearing things up to the person who is pregnant. One, it's not fair. Two, it's not adequate enough. Meagan: We can't. Flor: It's not adequate enough. I can't tell you how many times people are like, “I ended up in a C-section and I feel like it wsa all my partner's fault. They pushed me to do it. They didn't help me at all. They didn't advocate. They didn't even show up to the classes and I just feel like it's all their fault or they wanted me to hurry up and get it over with.” Meagan: I mean, I love my husband to absolute pieces. I told this story before how when I told him I wanted a VBAC after two C-sections, he was like, “What? What? No. Let's just go unzip you.” He said that word, you guys. He said that word. He said, “Let's just go unzip ya.” That is not okay. He was so far away from understanding and I had to really reel him in. We get it. These partners are also scared. They are scared. They don't know. They are vulnerable too. It's not just you. It's also their baby that they care about. They hear the negative things out there in the world and they see the word “uterine rupture” and they're like, “Oh my gosh, no. I can't.” Or they're like, “We're out here. We're providing. We can't do that childbirth education. We can't do those VBAC courses,” but really, it's so important because they have to be there with you. They are your rock too. They are your rock. You have to have them. I'm going to tell you. In labor, you can't always be 100% in your mind. Flor: You shouldn't be either. Meagan: Yeah, well because we are laboring. We need to focus on getting a baby here and we can't be thinking about all of the things that we need to be asking the next time the provider comes in. That is where a doula can help and can help encourage your partner. “Hey, these are some things to ask next time,” and help but it helps even more if they have done the work and they are with you. They are with you in this journey. Flor: Yes, they have to be with you and understanding that you and the baby are a diad. You are one. You are not separate from each other. When you do well, the baby does well. When you don't do well, the baby doesn't do well. It's one person. You are one unit. They are not separate from each other. Partners really need to understand that and also really think about what type of energy you are putting into these statistics and the numbers because if a provider is telling you, “You have a 0.7% chance of rupturing,” okay. So there's a 99% chance I'm not going to. How different does that sound? Meagan: Let's flip that. We talk about that on the podcast too. Let's flip it. Let's start focusing on those little tiny numbers on the chance that you do, it's important to know that, but let's flip it and look at it like, “Okay, so I have a 98-99% chance of not rupturing.” Flor: Right. Meagan: Okay. Okay. That feels good. I think that's a good risk right there. I'll take that. Flor: Exactly. Exactly. Obviously, it's not up to us to be in charge of pulling our partners out of that fear. That shouldn't be our responsibility, but it's okay to look your partner in the face and say, “This is what I'm needing from you. This is what I'm wanting and these are the reasons why and I'm the person who has to give birth to this baby and I'm the person who has to recover for the rest of my life with how this birth turns out. Me.”Right? When I showed up for my VBAC, I went in thinking my husband was going to fight me on it so I showed up like, “Listen. We're going to have a fucking VBAC. I don't give a shit what you're going to say.” I showed up ready to fight. Meagan: We actually did get in a fight at a restaurant because I was like, “This is what's going to happen. We're going to have this many people and by the way, I'm actually not going to birth in the hospital either.” He was like, “What the hell?” I was like, “It's going to happen.” I was like, “You're going to have to meet me right up here. I'm not coming down here. You're going to have to meet me up here.” And I'm so grateful that he did. I really am so grateful and honestly, it changed him. It changed his perspective. It changed his narrative of birth. He was like, “Oh wait, yeah no. We would never do it any other way. That was amazing.” Flor: Right? Luckily for me, my husband didn't fight me. I went in guns blazing thinking he was going to but he was like, “Look. You're the one who's pregnant. You're the one who has to give birth. Whatever you choose, I'm on board. I will support you and I trust whatever decision you make. I can't tell you what to do,” so then I felt like a jerk after. Meagan: My husband was too. He did put his two cents in of, “Oh, so you're just going to choose the most expensive option?” That was what he said in the end, but in the end he was like, “Okay, cool. We're going.” We know. We know. We see it. I've done so many consultations with people where they are like, “My husband is just not on board and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.” I think one of the very first things that I suggest is to educate them because they are usually making those quick no's and they're very against it because they are just uneducated and they are scared. Flor: Yeah. That's generally where it's coming from is a lack of education and following that thread of fear. Those shouldn't be the places where someone is making that decision. Someone should get educated and then we'll discuss what you think and what your opinion is. Know that it's just that. It's an opinion and it's not going to be the detour of what I'm going to do with my birth. It just shouldn't be that way. Meagan: Yeah. Yeah. Flor: We already live in such a patriarchal system as it is. I've seen lots of partners saying no to doulas being on board. Meagan: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Flor: Why? Meagan: My husband was one of those. My husband was one of those. He was so anti-doula and his reason was, “Well, I don't want to be replaced.” I was like, “It's not like that,” with my second. It is not like that at all. It just was so hard and we didn't have a doula and we ended up in a repeat Cesarean. I'm not saying I ended up in a repeat Cesearean because I didn't have a doula but I definitely wish I had some of that extra support when things were turned on me and someone to help him understand too but there are so many other things with that birth. I was with the wrong provider. That's what it was. I just didn't make the full change for myself. Flor: The thing with that too is that a lot of men do not show up for women fully 100% because there's really not a lot of opportunities where they do show up to be 100% there for their partners. Birth is one of those spaces where they need to do that and they're not used to that. They're not used to showing up to that capacity of really not centering themselves. Meagan: Yep. Flor: What is this doula going to take away from me? What is being at home going to take away from me? What is this going to require? That is someone centering themselves instead of looking at the situation and saying, “What is it that you need from me? How can I help you? How can I help you be most comfortable? I want you to be as happy as possible in this situation.” That's the type of energy that we need people to show up to the birth for. Stop centering yourself. It's not about you. When it's your turn to give birth, then we will do whatever you want to do, but until that time comes, it's about me. Meagan: You've got to come up here. Yeah. Flor: It's about me. Meagan: It is about you, Women of Strength. We love you. We love you. Like I said in the beginning, we see you. We hear you. We feel you. Literally, from one VBAC mom, two VBAC moms to another, we understand. We are with you in this journey. We are cheering you on. This message today is to hopefully motivate you, educate you, plant a seed or whatever you want to take it as, give you the motivation or the oomph to do what's best for you truly. Truly do what's best for you and let's change the narrative. Flor: Yep. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. 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