Chronically: Narnia

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A journey through the Chronicles of Narnia series by two curious thirty-somethings, done in entirely the wrong order.

Chronically Podcast

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    • May 8, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 55m AVG DURATION
    • 157 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Chronically: Narnia

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 12: We Check in to C.C.'s Spa and Resort

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2024 50:58


    In this one, we learn what's been wrong with us this entire time. Namely, lack of tiny whiskers and a sleek, vibrant coat of fur. Wheek wheek.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 11: Clarisse Blows Up Everything

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2024 54:17


    In this one, we learn that in addition to busses and planes, Percy also shouldn't travel by boat. Maybe he just isn't compatible with vehicles.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 10: We Hitch a Ride with Dead Confederates

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2024 47:33


    In this one, we learn that there's no point in fighting the monsters since apparently they've already won. Anyone want something from Starbucks?

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 9: I Have the Worst Family Reunion Ever

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2024 45:47


    In this one, Luke villains most villainously, and we realize Percy is probably safe for another four years.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 8: We Board the Princess Andromeda

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2024 50:09


    In this one, we board a ship which is decidedly not the Love Boat or any other famous cruise liners you may have heard of. Also, fish ponies.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 7: I Accept Gifts from a Stranger

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2023 53:57


    In this one, we learn that taking candy from strangers in the park is acceptable and even encouraged as long as it gets you out of your chores.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 6: Demon Pigeons Attack

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2023 52:35


    In this one, we discover that pigeons dislike vehicles regardless of their Era of construction.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 5: I Get a New Cabin Mate

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2023 43:21


    In this one, Chiron gets fired! Tantalus gets hired! Percy is tired, and Tyson...was sired? Yeah sure let's go with that.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 4: Tyson Plays with Fire

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2023 37:15


    In this one, we learn about the perils of invasive species, do a quick eye exam, and meet yet another Jackson. No relation.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 3: We Hail the Taxi of Eternal Torment

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2023 40:21


    In this one, Tempest was pretty great! Super quick arrival, professional and knowledgeable about the city, though was occasionally distracted and not keeping an eye on the road. 4/5, would ride again.

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 2: I Play Dodgeball with Cannibals

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2023 43:49


    In this one, Percy almost finishes the school year and finds out why you should never trust anyone named Joe Bob. (Our sincerest apologies to any of our listeners named Joe Bob, both for our generalization and the cruelty of your parents.)

    Percy Jackson Book 2, Chapter 1: My Best Friend Shops for a Wedding Dress

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2023 40:17


    In this one, we dove hooves first into the sea of monsters, and all we got was a plate of weird blue eggs.

    Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief Full Book Discussion

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2023 118:58


    In this one, we outsource our commentary to an expert guest and learn that the real lightning thief was the friends we made along the way.

    Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Movie!

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2023 77:08


    In this one, we take a big ol detour to Nashville where we find a film almost, but not entirely unlike The Lightning Thief.

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 22: The Prophecy Comes True

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2023 64:53


    In this one, we celebrate endless summer with bootleg Cokes and villainous monologues. That's pretty badass, right?

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 21: I Settle My Tab

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2023 59:17


    In this one, we meet our father, get threatened by another father for bringing up his father, potentially curse an evil stepfather, and most importantly, try to give some father, somewhere, a new fridge.

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 20: I Battle My Jerk Relative

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2023 66:08


    In this one, we draw a line in the sand and unleash the hogs of war. I guess there's also a family feud but we're running out of idioms...

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 19: We Find Out the Truth. Sort of.

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2023 57:42


    In this one, we get dragged into Tartarus. Sort of. Then we confront Hades and convince him of our innocence. Sort of. In doing so, we resolve all the complex issues with Percy's mom. Sort of...

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 18: Annabeth Does Obedience School

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2023 41:23


    In this one, we wonder about why bad music would be playing at a recording studio, and then we discuss the joys of lines. Buckle up, folks, this one's wild.

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 17: We Shop for Water Beds

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2023 53:44


    In this one, we're hurtling right into the mouth of hell itself, but first we're gonna indulge in a bit of Procrustination...

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 16: We Take a Zebra to Vegas

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2023 62:58


    In this one, we debate the taxonomy of horse-adjacent creatures, and also I guess some plot things happen.

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 15: A God Buys Us Cheeseburgers

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2022 70:03


    In this one, we discuss with Aries the merits of using gold as currency, because screw you, punk. Sorry if we get a little aggressive...

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 14: I Become A Known Fugitive

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2022 40:05


    In this one, we once again get so close to cheeseburgers only to have them ripped away by both the linear nature of time and a national manhunt. Maybe in the next chapter...

    Percy Jackson Book One, Chapter 13: I Plunge To My Death

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2022 52:54


    In this one, we discuss both the crushing monotony and anxiety-inducing surrealism of the American mid-west. We apologize in advance.

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 12: We Get Advice From a Poodle

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2022 42:04


    In this one, we fail to have emotional conversations, fail to get advice, and fail to think of the word "Anemoia". What are we even doing?

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 11: We Visit the Garden Gnome Emporium

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2022 55:57


    In this one, we chow down on double cheeseburgers and milkshakes BEFORE we get stoned. Crazy, right?

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 10: I Ruin a Perfectly Good Bus

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2022 70:10


    In this one, we've got a hundred bucks, a pack of tin cans, and a dream. Let's go to hell.

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 9: I Am Offered a Quest

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 2, 2022 63:58


    In this one, that's about the time we get a prophecy, nobody likes you when your dad's the king of the sea...

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 8: We Capture a Flag

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2022 58:10


    In this one, the children are not only allowed to go into the woods, but use them for bloodsports. Take that, Hogwarts...

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 7: My Dinner Goes Up in Smoke

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2022 47:58


    In this one, to the gods! You know, those absentee parents who can't even send us a few bucks for toiletries at the only place on earth we can live...yeah, cheers.

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 6: I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 57:11


    In this one, we get expository in the lavatory.

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 5: I Play Pinochel with a Horse

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2022 57:48


    In this one, pour yourself up a nice cookie dough cocktail and sit down for a game with the god of whine...

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 4: My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2022 52:57


    In this one, we learn that food is all-important, even foul hell-beasts can have a sense of modesty, and also that Hades is not in fact the Lord of the Dead. Sorry to our mythology enthusiast listeners...

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 3: Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2022 47:43


    In this one, we explore the rebellious significance of the color blue and find out much more about a character named Grover...hmm, seems familiar.

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 2: Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 50:52


    In this one, we discuss the terrible pedagogy of Yancy, and speculate on how many feet Grover really has...

    Percy Jackson Book 1, Chapter 1: I Accidentally Vaporized My Pre Algebra Teacher

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 50:37


    In this one, we're going on a perfectly normal field trip...record scratch...Normal? With the Brunner? No way!

    Book 7, Chapter 16: Farewell to Shadowlands

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2022 62:21


    In this one, Reepicheep fights the end of time and still somehow wins. Why'd he get knocked out of the brackets again?

    Book 7, Chapter 15: Further Up and Further In

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2022 51:00


    In this one, for a long while I was just a simple stable home to a well meaning donkey, but then everything changed when a giant bird demon moved in...

    Book 7, Chapter 14: Night Falls on Narnia

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2022 47:56


    In this one, we learn a valuable lesson about why one should never awake a sleeping giant, at least if you enjoy having a sun...

    Book 7, Chapter 13: How the Dwarves Refused to Be Taken In

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2022 54:25


    In this one, unfortunately no one can describe what a podcast sounds like, you'll just have to hope you stumble across this one and listen for yourself...

    Book 7, Chapter 12: Through the Stable Door

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2022 51:37


    In this one, we meet a fascinating antagonist that will surely have a huge impact on...wait, he's gone? Where? Anyway, let's talk about Susan...

    Book 7, Chapter 11: The Pace Quickens

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2022 60:07


    In this one, my eagle eyes see the vastness of time and the weight of history. Do they see victory? WHO knows. Oh wait, not an owl...

    Book 7, Chapter 10: Who Will Go Into the Stable?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2022 54:03


    In this one, one man enters, one man leaves. Is it the same man? We don't find out...

    Book 7, Chapter 9: The Great Meeting on Stable Hill

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2022 58:41


    In this one, the railway service to Narnia is absolutely terrible, and I could write pages and pages about it, but I won't...

    Book 7, Chapter 8: What News The Eagle Brought

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2022 49:49


    In this one, a friendly eagle brings news about that collapse of a civilization that has stood for thousands of years, heralding the end of an epoch and possibly the world itself...but also day hikes are nice!

    Book 7, Chapter 7: Mainly About Dwarfs

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2021 58:42


    In this one, we ponder the intricacies of dwarf society and which 2024 presidential candidate they would vote for...who courts the manakin vote?

    Book 7, Chapter 6: A Good Night's Work

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2021 54:31


    In thith one, we go on a daring rethcue attempt to get Jewel back from hith captorth. Thhhh, we're being thneaky.

    Book 7, Chapter 5: How Help Came to the King

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2021 45:36


    In this one, we must go to the lost places of the world and retrieve the rings of power, so that we can...um...Aslan what are you doing? Oh well, at least we have sandwiches.

    Book 7, Chapter 4: What Happened That Night

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2021 50:46


    In this one, Tirian is just about knee high to a Narnian mouse, which is half the size of a Narnian beaver, which in turn is half again the height of a hare, who's younger than the person to the right hand of the old lady...will we solve the absurd word problem that is this chapter? Listen and find out...

    Book 7, Chapter 3: The Ape in its Glory

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 55:03


    In this one, we need more nuts, and less garlic and onions...apparently. It wouldn't be my first culinary choice, but the book is what it is...

    Book 7, Chapter 2: The Rashness of the King

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2021 54:24


    In this one, we find out why Mr. Rat's River Ride is the worst attraction in Narnialand...

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