Chronically: Narnia

In this one, we learn what's been wrong with us this entire time. Namely, lack of tiny whiskers and a sleek, vibrant coat of fur. Wheek wheek.

In this one, we learn that in addition to busses and planes, Percy also shouldn't travel by boat. Maybe he just isn't compatible with vehicles.

In this one, we learn that there's no point in fighting the monsters since apparently they've already won. Anyone want something from Starbucks?

In this one, Luke villains most villainously, and we realize Percy is probably safe for another four years.

In this one, we board a ship which is decidedly not the Love Boat or any other famous cruise liners you may have heard of. Also, fish ponies.

In this one, we learn that taking candy from strangers in the park is acceptable and even encouraged as long as it gets you out of your chores.

In this one, we discover that pigeons dislike vehicles regardless of their Era of construction.

In this one, Chiron gets fired! Tantalus gets hired! Percy is tired, and Tyson...was sired? Yeah sure let's go with that.

In this one, we learn about the perils of invasive species, do a quick eye exam, and meet yet another Jackson. No relation.

In this one, Tempest was pretty great! Super quick arrival, professional and knowledgeable about the city, though was occasionally distracted and not keeping an eye on the road. 4/5, would ride again.

In this one, Percy almost finishes the school year and finds out why you should never trust anyone named Joe Bob. (Our sincerest apologies to any of our listeners named Joe Bob, both for our generalization and the cruelty of your parents.)

In this one, we dove hooves first into the sea of monsters, and all we got was a plate of weird blue eggs.

In this one, we outsource our commentary to an expert guest and learn that the real lightning thief was the friends we made along the way.

In this one, we take a big ol detour to Nashville where we find a film almost, but not entirely unlike The Lightning Thief.

In this one, we celebrate endless summer with bootleg Cokes and villainous monologues. That's pretty badass, right?

In this one, we meet our father, get threatened by another father for bringing up his father, potentially curse an evil stepfather, and most importantly, try to give some father, somewhere, a new fridge.

In this one, we draw a line in the sand and unleash the hogs of war. I guess there's also a family feud but we're running out of idioms...

In this one, we get dragged into Tartarus. Sort of. Then we confront Hades and convince him of our innocence. Sort of. In doing so, we resolve all the complex issues with Percy's mom. Sort of...

In this one, we wonder about why bad music would be playing at a recording studio, and then we discuss the joys of lines. Buckle up, folks, this one's wild.

In this one, we're hurtling right into the mouth of hell itself, but first we're gonna indulge in a bit of Procrustination...

In this one, we debate the taxonomy of horse-adjacent creatures, and also I guess some plot things happen.

In this one, we discuss with Aries the merits of using gold as currency, because screw you, punk. Sorry if we get a little aggressive...

In this one, we once again get so close to cheeseburgers only to have them ripped away by both the linear nature of time and a national manhunt. Maybe in the next chapter...

In this one, we discuss both the crushing monotony and anxiety-inducing surrealism of the American mid-west. We apologize in advance.

In this one, we fail to have emotional conversations, fail to get advice, and fail to think of the word "Anemoia". What are we even doing?

In this one, we chow down on double cheeseburgers and milkshakes BEFORE we get stoned. Crazy, right?

In this one, we've got a hundred bucks, a pack of tin cans, and a dream. Let's go to hell.

In this one, that's about the time we get a prophecy, nobody likes you when your dad's the king of the sea...

In this one, the children are not only allowed to go into the woods, but use them for bloodsports. Take that, Hogwarts...

In this one, to the gods! You know, those absentee parents who can't even send us a few bucks for toiletries at the only place on earth we can live...yeah, cheers.

In this one, we get expository in the lavatory.

In this one, pour yourself up a nice cookie dough cocktail and sit down for a game with the god of whine...

In this one, we learn that food is all-important, even foul hell-beasts can have a sense of modesty, and also that Hades is not in fact the Lord of the Dead. Sorry to our mythology enthusiast listeners...

In this one, we explore the rebellious significance of the color blue and find out much more about a character named Grover...hmm, seems familiar.

In this one, we discuss the terrible pedagogy of Yancy, and speculate on how many feet Grover really has...

In this one, we're going on a perfectly normal field trip...record scratch...Normal? With the Brunner? No way!

In this one, Reepicheep fights the end of time and still somehow wins. Why'd he get knocked out of the brackets again?

In this one, for a long while I was just a simple stable home to a well meaning donkey, but then everything changed when a giant bird demon moved in...

In this one, we learn a valuable lesson about why one should never awake a sleeping giant, at least if you enjoy having a sun...

In this one, unfortunately no one can describe what a podcast sounds like, you'll just have to hope you stumble across this one and listen for yourself...

In this one, we meet a fascinating antagonist that will surely have a huge impact on...wait, he's gone? Where? Anyway, let's talk about Susan...

In this one, my eagle eyes see the vastness of time and the weight of history. Do they see victory? WHO knows. Oh wait, not an owl...

In this one, one man enters, one man leaves. Is it the same man? We don't find out...

In this one, the railway service to Narnia is absolutely terrible, and I could write pages and pages about it, but I won't...

In this one, a friendly eagle brings news about that collapse of a civilization that has stood for thousands of years, heralding the end of an epoch and possibly the world itself...but also day hikes are nice!

In this one, we ponder the intricacies of dwarf society and which 2024 presidential candidate they would vote for...who courts the manakin vote?

In thith one, we go on a daring rethcue attempt to get Jewel back from hith captorth. Thhhh, we're being thneaky.

In this one, we must go to the lost places of the world and retrieve the rings of power, so that we can...um...Aslan what are you doing? Oh well, at least we have sandwiches.

In this one, Tirian is just about knee high to a Narnian mouse, which is half the size of a Narnian beaver, which in turn is half again the height of a hare, who's younger than the person to the right hand of the old lady...will we solve the absurd word problem that is this chapter? Listen and find out...

In this one, we need more nuts, and less garlic and onions...apparently. It wouldn't be my first culinary choice, but the book is what it is...

In this one, we find out why Mr. Rat's River Ride is the worst attraction in Narnialand...