Hosts Nick Kaminsky and Shelby Schwieterman each choose a movie or TV show based on inane criteria, like "spiciness" or "grandpa vibes," then have their champions square off under the watchful eye of a special guest judge. It's a battle to the death! But, like, a really nice one.
Fellow comedian and podcaster Chase McNeill (Fck This Place) judges the battles of Filmed in Vancouver, Mirror Mirror on the Wall, and Wish I Could Be There!
Renaissance Woman and tentacle porn enthusiast herself, the freaking hilarious Devon Drew, tosses up some fiery, rap-battle worthy judgements on the battles “Date Switch,” “Best Soundtrack,” and “Diminishing Shelf Life.”
The unattainably funny Amber Nelson judges us on Odd Couple, Deadliest Swordfight, and the Best Representation of Cheese in Film. Let’s get cartoon porn ready!!!
*Arrested Development/Mad Men/Schitt’s Creek/Succession. Brodie Reed inputs all the data and synthesizes judgements for the battles of Fashion, Don’t Eat the Rich, and Biggest Anti-Mask Character.
The supremely kind and hilarious Dicey deigns us with her spectacular sunshine energy to give us her TOUGH BUT FAIR judgments, ONCE FOR AND FOR ALL. She will destroy Shelby and Nick’s sheer notions of Titillating, Unrealistic Couples, and Animals Doing Human Things.
Comedian Niles Abston and his entourage (Jaden Smith and a big shark?) keeps on a solid poker face while he judges the battles of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Pussy Posse, Avoirdupois, and Sexiest Holiday Villain.
Comedian, writer, confessed lover of dogs (and she means it in a sexual way) Amy Silverberg is here to give her two barks in this week’s battles of Emotions, Dog Hero, and Church Boner (Or Temple Boner Shabbat Shalom).
Big Bad Monique Moreau whistles judgement of the battles of Native Americans, Quarantine-Friendly, and A Pebble in My Shoe.
Finance wizard Alex Lawson casts his spell over the battles of Better with More Green Screen, Younger Versions Who Look Like the Adults They’re Playing, and Craziest Break-up.
Writer and laugh riot Kaitlyn Jeffers brings a walnut-crushing grip of judgement to the battles of Acrobatics, Bad Breath, and Beige.
Comedian, actor, and connoisseur of cinema Budd Anthony Diaz judges the battles of Heart Throb, Good Listener, and A Boy That Does the Most Crazy Thing.
Steph Tolev, stand up comedian and lover of edible gifts, judges the battles of Banana Peels, Smell My Finger!?!, and Wouldn’t Have Happened If the Dude Had Just Gone to Therapy.
Theo Manhattan puts the “cute” in acutely judging the battles of Restaurant, Lollygagging, and Embarrassing.
Baron of beats and tsar of tunes Aaron Monte judges the battles of Civil War, Birds, and Really Makes You Want to Take a Shower.
Ironclad battle maiden Kirzia Steele slashes through injustice to decide the battles of Biggest Budget WTF, Stakes, and What IS That?.
Ian Vanleer, a fabulous individual, brings fear to the lawless and judgment to the battles of Most Horses, Dancing, and Most Black and White.
Newman Wolf, a special person who always makes an impression, judges the battles of Childlike Wonder, Honorable Discharge, and Would Hate-Follow on Instagram.
Professional word-yeller Vinnie Lacey ventures into the neighboring town to judge the battles of Nature’s Cruelest Mistake, Blackout at the Cinemas, and Zeitgeist.
Kate Kennedy, champion for the environment benefits of boxed wine, returns to judge the battles of Ultimate Move When You’re Super Stressed, The Goodest Girl or Boi, and How Am I Not Myself?
Comedian Tom Feeney takes us to the big leagues by judging the battles of Loquacious, Best Furniture, and Netflix & Chill.
Bearded multi-hyphenate Charlie DeMott Wildey swings his axe of judgment at the battles of Weirdo That lives in a Castle, The Sound of the Music, and Exists for the Merchandising.
Dog-owning Witch-Princess Krista Patterson returns to judge the battles of Father Figure, Unexpected Emotional Reaction, and Best Non-Period Costumes.
Pop culture czar Carter Adams sips his White Russian while judging the battles of Excessive Fan Service, Worst Thing to Watch on a First date, and Balloon Animals.
Josh Edelman, robed in silks and dreams, judges the battles of Loyalty, Dream Sequence, and Villains.
The super, chill, and superchill Milan Patel blasts a ray of frosty judgment at the battles of She Drove Me Here, Gluten-Free, and Musician Cameo.
From high up in her tower, Cat Crow rains the light of judgment down upon the battles of Body Movin’, If Looks Could Kill, and Best Kiss.
Guardian of the Valley, Katrina Davis, defends her lands by judging the battles of Birds Are Gross, Ropes, and Explain Like a Dish on Top Chef.
Golden man Eli Lutsky raises us up by judging the battles of Conflict, Tactical, and Super Natural.
Killer (the comedy kind!) with a heart of gold (the literal kind!) Sarah Bugden accepts a contract to judge the battles of Fuck Yeah This Is Sick, Hot People, and Better Popcorn Experience.
Comedy sex god Joe Raines emerges from his sacred parking lot to judge the battles of What Makes You Feel Like A Savant, Heartfelt Monologue, and Perfect for When You Need to Cry.
Adventurers Will Sauceda and Alli Klein travel the land in order to judge the three great battles of Somebody Gets Powers, Helicopter Parenting, and Fun with Murder. Hear more from Alli at chirpradio.org
Justin James is so NOT nerdy that he gets laid at least six times while judging the battles of Cult Classic?, Lupita Nyong’o, and Limited By Its Rating/Unnecessarily High Rating.
The great Sophia Zolan takes time off from her dignified position of Best Person Ever to judge the battles of Everywhere in LA Takes 20 Minutes, Dentistry, and I’d Like to Watch with Grandma.
Did someone order judgements? Because Pizza Prince Hans Kulla-Mader delivers them for the battles of John Denver, Aged the Worst, and Loved It But Don’t Really Want to See It Ever Again. Get your tickets to see Hans doing standup 2/29/20 right here: https://nightout.com/events/standupthe-malibu-playhouse/2-29-2020/tickets
Jessica Singer, mirthful master of muppet knowledge, deigns to pay attention to science fiction long enough to judge the battles of Muppets, STFU, and Sexiest.
Eager to defend his title of First Guest of this podcast, Jon Morrow returns to judge the battles of Red, White, & Blue, Do It Yourself, and The First Time You Saw Your Dad Naked Feeling.
The Month Man himself, Scott Malkovsky, rains his punny judgement down on the battles of Biggest Pop Culture Impact, Coolest Outfit, and Best Single Word.
Aquatic comedy queen Adri Diaz wields a fresh trident of judgment over the battles of Drug Deal, Most Uncomfortable to Watch on a Flight Sans Plane Crash, and Gravy Boat.
Left-handed Laughmaster Tommy Wakefield haunts the battlefield, trapped in this plane of existence, until he has judged the rounds of Rainforest, Shiniest, and Most Uncomfortable to Watch on a Flight, Sans Plane Crash.
Power judge Jack Michelle gives the news about the battles Breathability, Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself, and Roles Nic Cage Should Have Played.
Sam Lindsey, the Commander of Cool, chugs a mocha and slams a taco while judging the battles of Most Problematic, Worst Product Placement, and Wouldn’t Want to Watch with My Parents for Reasons Other Than the Sex Scene.
Kurt Steinmuller, Tortoise King of the Los Angeles area, comes out of his shell to judge the battles of DIY Project, Most Passive Aggressive, and Great Anti-Hero.
The duchess of precise baking measurements, Sam Perpignand, exerts her delicious influence over the battles of Ragtag Friendship or Inappropriate Love Pair, Drug-Fueled, and The Scene from Something About Mary with the Cum in the Hair.
The scrumptious lord of laughter, Landon Hughes, brings his practiced judging skills to the battles of Makes You Want to Leave the House, Most Unnecessary Use of Special Effects, and Barftastic. Bones head a-splode: http://www.the13thfloor.tv/2017/04/26/nsfw-when-did-tv-get-so-gross/
Bard, minstrel, and jester Richard Rosenthal balances the musical scales of justice to choose carefully a winner for the battles of Visual Dessert, Pinkest, and Technical Accuracy. Article by Durga Chew-Bose: https://hazlitt.net/feature/lonely-palette-economy-colour-spike-jonzes-her
Kate Kennedy, who unfairly has more than one interesting thing about her, wields a fiery sword of truth to cut out the true shape of victory in the battles of Most Optimal Use of Shellfish, I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying, and Most Likely to Give You Acid Reflux. Shelby’s research: https://www.mashed.com/46905/untold-truth-man-v-food/
Robyn Lee, a mystical being who exists outside of time, simultaneously calls out injustices committed against language and selects the winning champion for the battles of Death-Defying Feats, Most Lack of Understanding of How Actual Humans Interact, and Applies Drywall for the Soul. About the Twilight baseball scene: https://www.vulture.com/2018/11/twilight-movie-anniversary-vampire-baseball-scene.html
Beautiful beefcake Julian Stern doesn’t need a degree from Preschool University to astutely judge the battles of The 90s, The Sound of Music, and Best Masturbation. Xena fanfiction excerpt from: https://www.autostraddle.com/fan-fiction-friday-10-xena-fan-fiction-to-get-your-chakram-going/ Julian’s website: http://www.julianmstern.com
Kyle Rehl, Mr. Super Busy himself, takes time out of his wacky schedule to judge the battles of Talking Animals, Saltiest, and Most Politically Charged.
The venerable Krista Patterson uses her witchy princess powers to judge the battles of Man Problems, Cocaine… That Is All, and Best Meme Fodder. Minor spoilers for the movie Mother!
Seasoned pop culture warrior Harpal Khosla smites evildoers while delivering swift justice in the battles of Best Teen Heartthrob Vibes, Farts, But, Like, Not Very Smelly Farts, and Reminds Me of Childhood Anxieties.
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