D,D Podcast

A roper attacks! Johnny sends it on a bad trip. It sends Emen on a good trip. Sophie is a delicate lady who is also ALL MUSCLE. Benadyl is helpful, and Gioff trys to be.

Much comedic hay is made of a casting of Invisibility. The party meets an oddly familiar gang with even odder names. Everyone learns about thundersnows. Gioff--previously dead(?)--provides some context for the spooooooky goings-on. Benadyl reunites with a schoolmate. Emen finds another Richard. The party sets off for Hell's Fissure.

Roz sends the party through to Fontanella in search of Black Shuck, and shenanigans immediately ensue. There's a dead guy (or is he?) and something matching Roz's description, but it's not at all clear what is going on. Keep in mind, they also have to keep an eye out for agents of Odo Cypraps and not divulge their true mission!

In which we learn about an exciting new religion that may already be heresy! Also, trouble brewing for the residents of the Goblin Market. Could their salvation be through Declan, King of the Docks? We have to visit him anyway, for his underground magic item exchange. Even Richard gets an arc resolution. Next week: Fontanella!

Richard is missing (on his adventure from Season 1.5)! The Gang learn more about the personality quirks they acquired from Bully Ann's Baleful Bouillon. They visit Wizard University. Next stop on the Plotline Express: Fontanella in the Winter!

And our introduction to the Rivercity Podcast Federation! Join Brother Benadyl, Emen Neme, Johnny Skald, and Sophie Schuber as DM Matthew guides through through a fantasy universe in a homebrew 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons campaign. This episode, we explore Fluschweitz and get to know the party.

After beating back the ravenous rats, our Goblin Marketeers face down a swarm of ravenous Black Frida's Day shoppers. Sexy Snape reappears, and has a minor philosophical disagreement with Quincy. Gary, Konnie, and Meshak do their best to sell, and Richard (Estelev) engages in some underhanded merchant tactics. What do you think of DM Johnny's foray into DMing?

The representatives of the Goblin Market continue their efforts to legitimize their business. There is a discussion on seasons that exposes a hemicentric bias, and DM Johnny introduces a secret, sexy Snape to mixed reviews. A vermin infestation threatens the marketeers' preparations for Black Frida's Day.

We wrap up on Season 1, and take a break before starting Season 2. Prepare yourself for DM Johnny Skald! And, meet the folks trying to start up the Goblin Market: gnoll tailor Gary Gurteri, and his wife Kondele ("please, call me Konnie"); goblin blacksmith Meschach; crazed goblin fruitseller everyone calls "Quincy"; and also, Richard (Estelev) is there.

First, it's Riddlin' Time! Subsequently, gooshin' occurs. Thanks to @Musicbox42 for riddling with us on Twitter; hope you like the shirt we sent you! Creosote and Anne Champrose drop a lot of French in this episode. And they do not ask for nor receive pardons for it.

What happens when all the PCs pass out? Tupak happens, is what. Everyone gets a performance review from the deities they've claimed--or the deities that claim THEM. Then, they have to figure a way out of Tupak's ultimatum. The clues are on Twitter for anyone to follow!

Climactic confrontation! Thrilling cross-referencing of rulebooks! Math! It is everything you have come to expect from D&D--and D,D Podcast--rolled into a short little 1.5-hour package!

The party squabbles, which is not unusual. Then they get answers, which is! There is much made of invisibility, and little made of the mysteries DM Matthew worked so hard to weave beneath Diddly's Inn. Disclaimer: any deviation from French accents are just an authentic representation of Merovan accents. Because it's all pretend!

...is the Gulthias Tree! Because of that song? From the movie/musical? And they're evil blood-drinking plants? You get it. Emen Neme's title suggestion was "Chlorofiend", which is better. But, Johnny schools her on how to be a paladin, so what does she know? Lots. Also, everyone demonstrates their knowledge of a certain Motown classic.

The theme of today's episode is true facts. We claim many things are; with varying degrees of sincerity. If you want to learn about Egyptian pet mourning, tango's effect on the lumbar region, or the Wiggles, this is the episode for you. Also, blights are a lot easier to defeat when you're level 3. Just saying.

I mean, the title is pretty self-explanatory. We learn a lot about why DM Matthew picked such a hard-to-remember name as Karrell Boyin. Everyone gets off-track between play sessions, but we think we're pretty funny. Squirrel beer.

Karrell turns out to be a bit of a man-bear-pig; and all jerk. Sophie learns how hard it is to rage and run. Mason learns it's even harder to keep up with her. Benadyl learns that sometimes the party must split. Level-headed Emen shows some fire. Johnny takes a bear of a risk.

Last chance to figure out the Mystery of the Levers before the gang does! Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of Mason running around. Thrill to the extended bit where the group inventories their treasure! Chill as they pay Richard--in copper pieces! Spill? as they...ignore a blue glow? Summaries are hard sometimes.

For the first time in a while, DM Matthew manages to remind everyone their characters are mortal, and should fear death. And for the umpteenth time, he reminds them of the rules--how spells can be cast at different slot levels, etc. I don't want to spoil everything in the blurb, but leather maid outfits feature strongly in this episode.

The old classic, fighting goblins! Also, everyone mentions the oeuvre of The Lonely Island. Sophie gets frustrated by not raging in a fight, and Johnny continues his assault on good sense. Emen relinquishes the Decision Stick, Benadyl offers sage advice--Mason and Richard are also present.

The team square off against Rue Perkins, Mel Giderorc, and Maul Hollywood--but where is Merry Bury? See how all the names are changed, so the BBC can't sue? The title of this episode was so gratifying, it beat out 'Orcs of Hazard' and 'Troubadoodle'.

It is the party's greatest case yet: could one of their own turn out to be a murderer? Or is the DM yankin' everybody around? DM Matthew would never do that, except for all those times it's already happened. Will that loopy goblin's killer be brought to justice? I--I already know the answer, but you should listen to the episode. To find out.d

We receive an answer to the age-old question: "what happened to Richard? And Hobb? And those other people we don't really care about?" After episodes of showing off their new third-level powers, the party sits down to talk shop. Sophie receives Hot Topic-esque barbarian swag; Benadyl receives cryptic goblin warnings; Emen Neme receives a story-dream; and Johnny receives a swift blow to the knees.

Our Heroes' attempt to impersonate mercenaries is put to the test. Despite making her laugh, Janice the ogre elects to reject the party. Some hobgoblin jailers really drive home the point, leaving Emen and Sophie floored. The boys manage to lift their spirits (and hit point totals), and we learn what became of Richard and Hobb. I mean Estelev. And Hobb.

Ogre bureaucrats! Crossbow puns! Gnoll tea parties! The party actually coming up with a halfway cogent plan, with everyone contributing! Improved audio quality? Is this the same D,D you've come to love, or is it improved beyond imagining--and even more lovable as a result?

It's a play on the song by...never mind. Johnny has a chance to get gritty. The party makes a deal, and learns a bit about each other in the process. Just kidding, they learn about that necklace Johnny's trapped in. Everybody levels up off-mic, and proceed to the next layer below Diddly's Inn.

Everybody's trapped in a room that's filling up with water! Johnny blows. Benadyl talks about his moving past. Sophie goes a little 'Castaway'. Emen dunks a Mason-ball.

So named because almost everyone makes mistakes during the fight, resulting in hilarity! We review the treasure from the previous fight, Johnny unknowingly makes a bad choice, and Emen knowingly makes a very bad choice.

DM Matthew has a history chip on his shoulder. Sophie tries to attract Korean sponsorship. Johnny goes Kenobi for an encounter. Emen is frustrated by shadow-boxing. Benadyl shows no mercy. And everyone learns a little more about what is going on beneath Diddly's Inn.

The podcast gets topical! The party finds a better way to make decisions? DM Matthew proves he can inject color into the world. The party learns a bit more about what is going on at Diddly's Inn, and the conspiracy (literally) deepens.

Johnny gets on top of things, for once. Sophie reminds everyone why they should be in her good graces. Emen looks out for the vulnerable. Benadyl leads from the rear. And Mason is there, too! Look for a brief cameo from our cutest friend, the owlbear.

The party tries subterfuge, sans subter. There is comedy in this episode for everyone! Lengthy insults are exchanged in the blitz of combat for Moms and/or Dads; there's tart-based humor for the kids; the physical comedy your grandparents will like; and even Fido and Mittens can appreciate a joke about evacuation primacy. That's why this podcast is rated 'E' for Everyone (who is allowed to listen to Explicit podcasts).

Everybody attains level two, and won't stop talking about it. Robin hires the party to save Hobb and bring Karrell to justice--though Benadyl and Emen Neme might define justice a mite differently. Karrell has made some changes back at Diddly's Inn, and Johnny Skald is just the guy to make some new friends.

Robin's rescue continues! Johnny Skald's spell-management app is officially banned. Our heroes bravely challenge a tree, then bravelier retreat. Actual tactics are employed in combat! Well, kinda.

The nature (heh) of Robin's kidnappers is revealed. The party breaks down into plant-based puns; and is forced to do geometry during a fight. Keep a sharp ear out for a cameo from Jigglypuff!

In which the pinto-riding arsonist's identity is...not revealed, exactly... Fortunately, the DM has created a host of new and exciting people for the party to ignore. Still, one of them kinda has a Scottish accent. Kinda.

Johnny irons out some wrinkles with his family; and we finally get out of Fluschweitz after the pinto-favoring arsonist. Giant wolf spiders attack. Die-hard fans note: this episode was almost called "Family, Lycosidae".

Our Heroes wrap up loose ends from the warehouse, and prepare to follow the mysterious arsonist out into the greater world. One of the party receives a surprise visit. Will drama ensue? Yes, if the DM has anything to say about it...

DM Matthew and some of the gang answer questions you didn't know you had about the campaign setting. We know you didn't know you had questions, because nobody submitted any. We powered through on our own, though.

The gang learns a little more about Karsten's operation; and a lot about each other. They discover a mysterious symbol. The rest of the world starts to catch up with their antics, and soon they'll be forced to explain.

Whomever is in that warehouse can expect more of the same for Round 2! The party delves deeper into the warehouse, and into what exactly is going on there.

Finally, the party arrives at the warehouse, and even start to figure this combat thing out. Lessons are learned about the fragility of first-level adventurers, then discarded for a barn burner of a final conflict.

Our heroes capture, coerce, and rechristen a member of the defeated pressgang. They finally get down to the warehouse, then decide to go off the rails. DM Matthew recovers--though not quickly enough for the party to sneak off with something he'd rather they didn't have...

The party selects a hireling, and head down to the docks. There is a little trouble with the map, then much more trouble with a group of pressgangers. Plenty of ones are rolled: sometimes, first blood is the worst blood.

The party gets new duds for their interview with the Sanguine Paw. After the meeting, they decide to go recruiting. They also struggle with their greatest enemy to date: audio quality.

Meet Brother Benedict, Johnny Skald, Emen Neme, and Sophie Schuber as they enter the Gobble Inn. Thrill as they suffer through an awkward icebreaker session! Chill as the dog disrupts the recording!