Dont Ruin My Reality

Here we are, folks. The last episode(s) of Young Moms Club. We will miss this show, but not as much as we will miss what it could have been. RIP Pretty Little Mamas. You were the real one.

Liz had personal drama last week but we are back now with an extra long episode covering episodes 3 & 4 of Young Moms Club! And apparently next week is the season finale which is a steaming pile of hot garbage since we've finally hit the best parts of this show.

The geniuses at MTV continue to ruin the best reality tv show that ever was, and we are here to talk about it. Please note, the second half of this ep, Matt and Liz talk about that BANANAS episode of Game of Thrones. Spoilers start at minute 34:53, so stop there if you're an actual crazy person who hasn't watched the Battle of Winterfell yet. Or skip to that part if you have no interest in hearing why Aaron actually has a drug problem.

If horror movies have taught us anything, it's that you should never try to resurrect the dead. It just comes back as a hollow shell of itself and it may try to kill you. That pretty much sums up this reboot/re-edit. WeWereAllRootingForYou.Tyra.Gif

Teen Mom: Young Moms Club (aka Pretty Little Mamas) returns on Monday, April 22 at 10/9c on MTV AND WE ARE FREAKIN PUMPED AF

This week, we say goodbye to the boring slop that is Very Cavallari. No, it's not the season finale, but we have just had enough. There's no reason to put ourselves through this so we are Konmari-ing this show, as it sparks no joy. BUT THERE IS BIG NEWS! After recording this week's ep, we found out that our beloved Pretty Little Mamas is coming back!!! Rebranded as "Teen Mom: Young Moms Club", the best show on television will be returning in a few weeks and we are PUMPED.

Welp. It's episode 3. And we are still here. Watching and talking about Very Cavallari. Not totally sure why.

hooooo boy. Okay so we are on ep 2 of season 2 and I gotta be honest kids, things aren't looking great. The amount of time dedicated to Kelly and her love life (or lack thereof) is disturbing. But not as disturbing as the morons in charge of shipping over at Uncommon James. Plus! This ep has multiple cameos from Liz's toddler who was supposed be under the supervision of her husband, who fell asleep. Liz handled this with as much grace as you'd expect.

It's the season premiere! And as is the VC way, pretty much nothing has happened except for an excess of Kelly scenes that no one asked for. On a tech note- we apologize for the weird tinny affect in Liz's voice. She tried to avoid toddler noise by recording in her car and that was a massive fail. won't happen again.

Welcome to our prequel episode! The Season 2 ep 1 pod will come out on Tuesday, but in the meantime, I hope everyone enjoyed the season premiere and here's what the VC crew has been up to during the break!

We're back! Sorta... While we eagerly await Lindsay Lohan's return to the silver screen with her beach club VPR rip off, Matt & Liz take a quick recap on their year. Matt's was fairly normal, Liz's was a shit show (shout out to the dome? BritneyYikes.gif)

Guys? We are in the midst of a crisis. Pretty Little Mamas has vanished. MTV is ghosting us and no one knows what to do. Matt and Liz discuss this tragedy and the rumors we've heard on this week's ep. #Justice4PLM!!!

Ho.ly.Shizballs you guys. As if the reveal that the girls had a friend who was brutally murdered wasn't dark enough in ep. 1, things go pitch black in ep. 2. This is without question the best show on television right now but we do find ourselves wondering, is MTV criminally negligent for allowing Aaron to be on camera? WHERE IS DR. DREW WHEN YOU REALLY NEED HIM?!

New Month, New Show, New Us! Now that the disappointing slog of Very Cavallari is behind us, we have been given a gift from the Reality TV gods in the form of MTV's Pretty Little Mamas. For a network that capitalizes on young mothers, this may be their darkest show yet. Stick with us because we are here to recap all the Pretty Little Mama Drama every week!

Well folks, we made it. We are here at the VC finale episode and it was.....moderately underwhelming. But apparently the E! gods have shined upon KCav and will be giving us a season 2! I hope they step their game up and listen to our "how to make this great" suggestions.

We here at Don't Ruin My Reality feel personally insulted and distraught with the penultimate episode that we were provided for Season 1 of Very Cavallari. No one cares about the Canadian. By a freakin car, Gurney. Where the hell was Reagan? What a shit show.

This week the Uncommon James gang heads off to Destin, FL where KCav finally lets her hair down, Wirth tells us his biggest insecurity (groan), and Shannon tries desperately to conceal Taylor's big secret by getting as drunk as is humanly possible.

It feels like we may be on the cusp of some reality tv greatness here! buuuuuuut we're not there quite yet. On the plus side, lots of Jay this week!

This week's ep was woefully lacking in Jay scenes. Lurking in a hallway? That's all we get? Kristin impressed us with her ability to say no to Taylor. And then embarrassed us with her inability to not shit talk another employee during Taylor's interview. Also, Kelly and The Canadian happened. Can we be done with that now please? Plus! Reagan's mom shoots to the top of our Fantasy Reality TV Dinner Party list!

Shenanigoats! We apologize for the delay on this recap ep. Matt was partying it up in Vegas at a Coroners convention for his birthday (yep, you read that correctly) and we weren't able to record until much later. Will Shannon be the black sheep of the Uncommon James fam forever? Will the gang ever get their hands on a label maker? We ask these questions and more on this week's ep!

Very Cavallari s1e2- Episode 31 by Dont Ruin My Reality

Sometimes a cultural phenomenon occurs and you have to deviate from your original course and focus on the matters at hand. Because it's just that important. And, okay, sure...that's not really what happened here, but as long time KCav stans, Matt and Liz couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk about Kristin Cavallari's new show. And by that we mean, Jay Cutler's new show. TBH this is kind of our whole world now so buckle up, kids.

So here's the rub. This movie was bad. It was upsettingly bad. So yeah, we talk about it for a bit, but we also delve into much more interesting topics such as Kid Nation, Baby Foot, Nashville, Very Cavallari, Being unemployed. Also, Liz got married.

Is this episode about a movie? Nope. But it does tell the tale of one woman's 3 week journey into just how much abuse someone will put up with when their job is in a convenient location. Plus! Liz tells the story of Tammy From Accounting in the last 20 minutes and I promise you that it's not to be missed.

This is the final film in our Teen Dramadies segment and we are going out with a bang. All we're gonna say is, Drew Berrymore deserved an oscar for her incredible portrayal of "Josie Grossie" and the fact that she wasn't even nominated is highway robbery. Also there's some super problematic stuff with a teacher falling in love with his student but he's hot so it's no biggie.

What do you do when the guy you don't even really like that much but wanted to ask you to prom falls on a cheerleader and ruins your plans? You get your super hot neighbor and old friend to pretend to like you! Or something. Honestly, Clarissa had a hard time explaining all of her motivations in this one... Teen Dramadies month continues! (pssst - hot tip! hang out til the end to jam out)

We are still in the thick of our revisit to classic teen films this month, and next up is 10 Things I Hate About You! Heath Ledger's first American Film that begs the question, why is Julia Stiles so angry and what's up with her face? Shout out to friend of the pod Marci for being a true fan of classic cinema!

WE. ARE. BACK! After a much needed hiatus, Matt & Liz are back to talk about the beloved classics from our youth. This month we are focused on Teen Dramedies, starting with the 1999 classic, She's All That! Thank god someone took the glasses off that dog and made her a swan, AMIRITE?! Also, Paul Walker is hotter than FPJr. YEAH I SAID IT.

Sorry for the delay (Liz has yet again come down with the plague) but here's our Valentines episode! This week we look back at Matt's all time favorite RomCom to see if he can put aside his rosy colored glasses to stare down some hard truths. Kathleen Kelly shops at Starbucks? ESCANDELO!

This movie taught us the meaning of Best Friendship! and Feminism! and how to treat our gay friends! lol jk. Shout out to our #1 Fan, Charlee G! You're never gonna be jello... (p.s. we apologize for dogging on your favorite movie)

Some movies give you tears, some movies give you lols, and some movies give you the greatest gif to ever grace the internet. Look Who's Talking Now is mostly just the latter. Plus there's just that raw sexual magnetism between Travolta and Alley.

It's still Sequels Month! Despite our week or so absence. Moral of the story is: The Jurassic Park Franchise is fantastic and you're a terrible person if you believe otherwise. Willing to die on this hill.

January is sequels month here on DRMC! For our first episode of the year, Matt & Liz take a look back at the second Mighty Ducks film to discuss the staggering star power of Kenan Thompson, as well as ask hard hitting questions like, how the hell did Gordon Bombay get this job in the first place and how were any of the ducks even qualified to be on TeamUSA?

This is our last December holiday episode and we are ending with the best of the best. Home Alone & Home Alone 2- Lost in New York are basically perfection but that doesn't mean there aren't a few plot holes here or there (WHY DOES NO ONE CALL THE POLICE?!) Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal

GUYS GET READY. Matt & Liz break down this holiday classic and they do not see eye to eye. Liz apologizes in advance for possibly ruining your childhood.

In an effort to get this episode out on time, Liz did literally zero editing. So... yall have fun with that. Also, Liz and Matt are supremely divided on how good this movie is. Spoiler Alert: Liz is right. as per usual

I'm not gonna lie, we go off on some tangents on this one. Listen to the beginning and then skip to about minute 29 if you're a Santa Clause die hard. Otherwise, its a super fun episode! Matt and Liz fully expected to trash this movie for being garbage. SPOILER ALERT: This movie is AMAZING

What's there to rip apart about an iconic holiday classic? Literally nothing. Plus, Liz is in a shit mood so we go on a few tangents. The good new is, this week is a double feature and there's TONS to talk about in Ep. 16: The Santa Clause

A film that begs the question, "Would you fuck your step brother if he were hot like 1995's Paul Rudd?" A podcast that reluctantly answers, "Yeah, probs. But it's still weird."

Look. Im gonna be square with you guys. I am writing this description while im shitfaced and waiting for the audio file to load. Which is appropriate, because matt and i were hammered when we recorded the bonus ep. ANYHOW things we cover: 1. Mambo #5 is a good song 2. #TeamMiranda 3. Men need to keep their dicks to themselves. But like for real tho HAPPY THANKSGIVING Also? Shout out to Faye! Hey girl hey!

Okay so here's the deal. This movie his hilarious if you don't think about it. So drink a lot, lean back, and enjoy the show. FYI- Matt & Liz take many tangental detours and end up having to split the episode up! Check out our bonus ep. for Turkey Day funsies! also FYI- Liz is hammered while typing this. shhhhhhh dont tell anyone

This week, Liz & Matt take a drunken look back on Dunston Checks In. To be honest, we have no idea why. Which is why there are lots and lots of personal off topic stories and tangents.

Stop what you're doing right now and watch this movie. It COMPLETELY holds up. And then head back over to us and listen to this week's episode where Matt and Liz wax poetic about baseball movies and the anti smoking campaigns of 90s pop culture!

It's only fitting that the last episode of our October Spooktacular would be the quintessential Halloween kids movie. If you don't love Hocus Pocus, you might be a bad person. And that includes the 30 asshole critics who gave this movie a bad review. Liz rants about that. But to be honest, this movie is perfection. So the gang (including call-in friend Lindsay Marie of Facebook cyber bullying fame) takes a few conversational detours. Highlights include: Carrie Bradshaw SUCKS and boy oh boy has Kathy Griffin made a mess of things lately.

So... as it turns out... this Disney musical from the 1970s isn't a scary movie at all; despite having witches and Nazis! WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY KNOWN. Oh well. This week, Matt & Liz take a look back at Bedknobs and mostly discuss what a QUEEN Angela Lansbury is.

In our third Spooky-ooky October installment, Matt & Liz take a drunken look back at Tim Burton's 1988 classic Beetlejuice. How do Beetlejuice's sexual assaulty vibes hold up in this current climate? Is this the hottest version of Alec Baldwin? Was Lydia the original emo kid? What do you do when you find out your partner is keeping a black widow as a pet? The pals discuss all this and more!

The second installment of our October Spooktacular is the 1990 classic The Witches! Did this movie really earn its 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Or did it leave us pissed off and bitter like the late great Roald Dahl? ~Stay Tuned~

This is the first of 5 Spooky-ooky themed movies from our youth that we are covering for the month of October! Spoiler Alert: These movies are still fucking fantastic.

Hahaha so remember when we said that we had fixed the audio for this episode? We lied. But this time we aren't lying and it's ready to go. Probably. We hope. This movie was fucked up, ya'll

This week Matt & Liz take a look back on that classic 90s tale of Boy meets Hooker, Hooker moves into tree house, Boy sets up Hooker with his dad, hijinks ensue, and also there's a plot about saving the wetlands. Milk Money! What on earth were they thinking.....

This week, a jovial Matt and an emotionally traumatized & drunken Liz take a look back on the beloved 1996 classic Dragonheart. Matt & Liz discuss how GOT has shaped our modern day understanding of all things dragon, Dennis Quade's bad wigs, Yahoo Answers, and a fun sex move called "The Angry Dragon". Bottoms up, kids!