Handy Mandy Podcast

We hear it all the time in the sex world: "you need to shift your mindset from performance to pleasure." But what does that actually mean, how do you do it, and why is it important? In this episode I talk about the most common performance concerns, how to address those, and then how to prioritize pleasure, fun, and connection, instead of worrying so much about whether your dick will stay hard or your puss will stay wet.Shop for lubes & toys on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

How intimately do you understand your libido, aka sex drive, aka desire/arousal? Every wondered why sometimes you're super easily turned on and other times you just can't get it up? In this episode, I talk about the science behind being turned on and getting turned off, and the most common reasons couples complain about having a sexual desire discrepancy. Take the quizzes linked below to learn more about what hits your sexual gas and brake pedals, and then talk to you partner about it, goddammit.Sexual Inhibition QuizSexual Excitation Quiz Come As You Are by Dr. Emily NagoskiShop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

In the wild west of the sex advice industry and the internet as a whole, there are lots of good resources and even more terrible ones. In this episode, we talk about the three sex scams that piss me off the most: expensive "sex addiction" treatment programs, sex toy MLMs, and unqualified sex coaches. Plus some fun insight about aphrodisiacs, online spell casting, and catfishing. Just do your research, trust your gut, and don't waste your money!Learn about SEX ADDICTION SCAMSLearn about MLMsLearn about COACHING SCAMSShop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

We're seeing more and more people open up about swinging, open relationships, and polyamory. But how do people make these relationships work? What skills are needed? How do you know if it's an option for you? In this episode, I explain the most common relationship styles, basic lingo, necessary skills, and tips for exploring. Plus, as always, I bust some myths with hard-hitting facts and answer some listener questions!Recommended BooksOpening Up: A Guide to Creating & Sustaining Open RelationshipsPolysecure: Attachment, Trauma & Consensual Non-monogamyThe Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships and Other Freedoms in Sex & LovePoly Content CreatorsDana and the WolfPolyamfamShop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

What the hell is asynchronous vs synchronous sex? Asynchronous sex breaks the traditional mold of penetrative, mutual, everything-happening-at-the-same-time sex by allowing one partner to focus completely on receiving pleasure and the other on giving. In this episode, I cover the many benefits of asynchronous sex, how you can incorporate it into your sex life, and specific examples of what it can look like!Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Have you ever thought about the grey areas of consent? Not just a simple yes or no, but the situations where communication is unclear or something just doesn't feel right? In this episode we dive into the less talked about aspects of consent with some examples of how to make sure everyone is feeling comfortable and confident. We also explore what consent means in the context of society and specifically the current state of our ~government~. Shop for sexy things at my Amazon storefrontIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

So many heterosexual men are curious about prostate stimulation, anal play, pegging etc. but don't know where to start. In this episode, I provide a very basic anatomy lesson, tips for how to prepare and have a good time, and I address the misconceptions and worries that many straight men face when exploring their prostate. All the products and toys I discussed are linked here in my Amazon storefront!If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Ever wondered what effects different substances can have on your sex life? This week, we dive into how substances like alcohol, weed, stimulants, opioids, and recreational drugs can impact your sexual desire, arousal, and long-term health. Don't worry, it's all of the information and none of the fear tactics. No judgement here!SAMHSA's Substance Abuse Helpline Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

What is hypersexuality? Is sex addiction a real thing? Do I have it?Sex addiction is one of the most highly contested topics in the world of sex therapy. It's not technically a diagnosis but tons of scammy companies offer expensive treatments and programs. In this episode, we talk about the causes of hypersexual behavior, signs that you might be struggling, and how to get affordable & effective help!Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Part 2 of our conversation with a dom mistress! She gives helpful advice for people that are curious about working with a mistress and couples that are looking to join the kink community. She also shares some personal stories from her work AND provides some insight into her sex life!Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Ever wondered what a professional dom mistress actually does? Today, we're talking to a mistress from Denver about how she got into this work, what she does, how she helps people, and how this impacts her personal dating life. Tune in next week for part 2 where she answers listeners' questions and gives advice for people who are curious about getting involved in the kink community!Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Do you want more of something sexually? Less of something? Want to try something new? Ask your partner to shower better? Find a solution to boner problems? You have to talk about it! In this episode I provide helpful tips for having potentially awkward or sensitive conversations with your partner. Plus I answer a listener's question about exploring anal.Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Starting Season 2 off with a BANG! I sit down with certified freak and host of the Sex Party Podcast, Dustin Rybka. We talk about his villain origin story, toxic advice to get girls, his new kinks, and which horror movie characters we would boink.Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

DON'T LET CRAZY CHRISTIANS HARSH YOUR VIBE!! Whether or not you have directly experienced purity culture, you may have internalized some of the harmful effects. This long-lasting shame and guilt around sex can lead to emotional, psychological, and physical harm. Check out Beducated and use code HANDYMANDY for 40% offShop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Pornography has the potential to be SO beneficial but it also has the potential to cause a lot of harm. In this episode, I talk about the pros & cons of porn and why the debate is so divisive. Listen to the end for recommendations for ethical and audio porn websites!Check out Beducated and use code HANDYMANDY for 50% off.Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Is circumcision really necessary? What's the deal with attachment styles? Are men actually trash? Why is Viagra so easy to get? Today I'm talking about all of my controversial opinions and what led me to feel the way I do about them. If you don't agree with me, that's okay. But make sure that you're giving critical thought to your opinions and actually exploring your beliefs. Nobody get triggered, okay? Check out Beducated and use code HANDYMANDY for 50% off. Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon PageIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Dirty talk can be so hot and add to the intensity of your sex life, but it can also be uncomfortable, intimidating and awkward! In this episode, I provide a few tips to overcome your fears, transition out of silent sex, find your dirty talk style with  10 specific categories, plus some tips for sexting and phone sex! At the end, I answer a question about aftercare and why it's important.Check out Beducated's course and worksheet on dirty talk! Shop for toys & kinky stuff on my Amazon Page If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

IF your high school offered any kind of comprehensive sex-ed, they probably talked about birth control using scare tactics: how to prevent from scary STIs and expensive unwanted pregnancies. Well, there's actually a lot of information that people never learn, including the dark history of birth control, why some methods aren't as effective as you think, and how side effects can impact your sex life. I cover all of that and more in this episode (plus a few ranty personal stories about the US Healthcare System, oops). Think of it like "Birth Control for Dummies," except you're not dummies, our education system just sucks :)Check out Beducated, a streaming service for sex ed!Shop for Valentine's day using my Amazon Sex Toy Gift Guide! If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Isn't a penis massage the same thing as a handjob? NO! It's more intentional, sensual, and erotic AND can lead to full-body orgasms and even multiple orgasms (yes, men can do that too). Many of these techniques come from Beducated, a streaming service for sex ed!Also check out my Amazon Sex Toy Gift Guide! It's honestly coming in so handy for me (pun kinda intended).If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

You've heard of the G-spot, but do you know about the A-spot and U-spot? In our FIRST EVER SPONSORED EPISODE (omg wow) I walk through how to give a sensual vulva massage, with techniques straight from a Tantric expert on Beducated.Give the gift of pleasure this Christmas with Beducated! Click the link below and use code HANDYMANDY for a 24-hour free trial and 40% of the annual subscription.http://beducate.me/bg2250-handymandypodAlso check out my Amazon Sex Toy Gift Guide! It's honestly coming in so handy for me (pun kinda intended).If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Once a cheater always a cheater? Why do people cheat? Is it possible to make it work after someone cheats? All of these questions and more answered here! We'll look at cheating through the lens of attachment theory and the Gottman Approach, a therapy model that is based on decades of research and over 3,000 couples!Spicy Holiday Gift Guide!Beducated Discount (Use code BLACK22)My Instagram If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Do you feel like you take forever to finish and it's impacting your ability to enjoy sex or stay in the moment with your partner? Well this one's for you!There are many reasons some people take longer than average to reach orgasm, and some are more easily fixable than others. In this episode, I list some of those reasons and suggestions to overcome them. Ever heard of death grip syndrome? Listen up!THIS MONTH ONLY, you can get 50% OFF the annual Beducated subscription and a 24-hour free trial! Click the link below.Beducated Discount (Use code BLACK22)My Favorite Toys and ProductsMy Instagram If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Tons of guys are worried about cumming too fast or not lasting long enough, but when is it actually a problem and what can be done about it? In this episode I cover misconceptions and unrealistic expectations about the duration of sex, what a premature ejaculation diagnosis actually entails, and a few strategies to prolong penetration. Plus I answer a question about orgasm-induced sneezing! It's a thing!My Favorite Toys and ProductsMy Instagram If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Meet my friend Anaya from Pretty In Kink! I asked her a few questions about her career, what issues she commonly sees with her clients, and what we can learn about being more open and accepting. Go check out her website at Pretty In Kink!My Favorite Toys and ProductsMy Instagram If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

We get so much information from our families, communities, media, and larger society about sexuality and a lot of times, it's unhelpful or downright inaccurate. Today I'm correcting 10 common myths about sex drive:1. Aphrodisiacs make you horny2. If your partner rejects your advances, they aren't attracted to you3. Porn doesn't change your sex drive4. Sex should last 30 minutes or longer5. Men are always horny and ready for sex6. Women have lower sex drives than men7. Sex and desire should be spontaneous8. Having a low sex drive is bad9. Your sex drive is fixed and stable10. Sex drive disappears as you ageMy Favorite Toys and ProductsMy Instagram (Go enter the Playground lube giveaway! It ends on September 17th)If you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."Sources in this episode: The Journal of Sexual Medicine & The Wiley Handbook of Sex Therapy

People who practice sexual mindfulness experience more desire, better self-esteem, more consistent orgasms, a better relationship with their partners, and better overall sexual functioning! In this episode I introduce Tantra and Sensate Focus as ways to incorporate sexual mindfulness into your life.  Plus I answer a question about meeting and dating with social anxiety!My Favorite Toys and ProductsMy InstagramIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."6 Tips for Sexual Mindfulness5 Reasons People Who Meditate Have Better Sex LivesSensate Focus

In this episode, I share some of the mind-blowing facts and concepts I've recently learned about kink in school. The specific article I reference comes from the Wiley Handbook of Sex Therapy, published in 2017, which includes fun facts about kink,  common myths, reasons people may seek therapy for their kinks, and what we can learn from kinky people. Listen to the end, because there is an incredible section from the book that shows an empirically-validated foundation for kink and BDSM altering states of consciousness. WHAT?! I know, so cool. Also I answer a question about what to do when you're accidentally gaslighting your partner!My Favorite Toys and ProductsMy InstagramIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

We're talking about squirting & female ejaculation! YAY! In this episode I cover common myths, squirt anatomy, the differences between female ejaculate and squirt, and techniques for learning how to squirt. I also touch on the Only Fans rumor (lol). My Favorite Toys and ProductsMy InstagramIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Giving head, fellatio, cunnilingus, blowjobs, sucking d*ck, eating p*ssy, sloppy toppy; whatever you wanna call it, here it is! Oral sex could get it's own podcast altogether, but here is the overview of how to give good head, no matter what parts your partner has! This episode does trend heterosexual, but the straights need more guidance in this area. Definitely go check out Beducated and use the free trial to watch some of the courses on blowjobs and cunnilingus.Blowjob Instructions: 17:23Eating Pussy Instructions: 39:13My Favorite Toys and ProductsMy InstagramIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

I'm finally answering your BURNING questions about how I knew I wanted to go into sex therapy and how I got to the place I am today. Some of these are personal stories and some are career choices, but please be respectful of my narrative and the topics I touch on. I also describe what the process is like to become a licensed sex therapist and what my long-term goals are!Beducated (Netflix for Sex-ed)My Favorite Kinky Toys and ProductsMy InstagramIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

Do you have a secret kink or fetish? Most people have kinks and at least 30% of the US population keeps theirs a secret! NO MORE! In this episode, I'll define what kinks and fetishes are, where they come from, what the most popular kinks are, and how to introduce them to your partner. And if you're into vanilla sex, that's cool too--you can still learn about the other flavors. Call yourself a kink connoisseur!Beducated (Netflix for Sex-ed)My Favorite Kinky Toys and ProductsMy InstagramIf you want me to answer one of your questions, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

You know what squirting, handsfree orgasm, and stronger orgasms have in common? Pelvic floor muscles! I take my experience attending a pelvic floor workshop and combine it with medical resources to give you the full run-down on the role your pelvic floor plays in your sex life. I explain how to locate, tone, and use these muscles to improve your sex life from the inside out!*this podcast was recorded prior to the SCOTUS decision overturning roe v. wade*If you would like me to answer your question on the next episode, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP."My Favorite Toys & Things: https://www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-5f11aa13Learn to Squirt: https://beducated.com/?ref=handymandy&coupon_code=bed50&utm_source=handymandy&utm_medium=affiliate

It's time to expand your sexual menu! In this episode, I give a quick crash course in all the different types of sex toys, lubes, and products I frequently recommend. In future episodes, I'll be diving into fetishes, kinks, and specific techniques, but I feel like we need this base level introduction to get the full scope of options. If you haven't explored the world of sex toys yet, get into it!Shop all of the items mentioned here using my Amazon store!Check out the best sex-ed you can get at Beducated.com and use code HANDYMANDY for 65% off the annual subscription!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! Whether you party hard all month or silently wonder how gay pride  could possibly apply to you, it's important to know how to support your LGBTQ+ friends. In this episode I cover gay history in the US, redefining how we think about certain terms, misconceptions, and 7 ways to be a good ally! My LinktreeIf you have a question you'd like me to answer on the next episode, email me at handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME."

The student becomes the master! Unlike the sex-ed you may or may not have had in school, there is no scare tactic, shame, or judgment here! In this episode I give a crash-course on the biological, psychological, and emotional aspects of sex. Let's replace the performance and orgasm-focused view of sex with a more pleasure and intimacy based one! Check out my instagram to view the accompanying graphics and pictures for this episode. View the original powerpoint presentation here. If you have a question for me, email it to handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "Handy Help Me." 

We all have to start somewhere! In this first episode, I talk a little bit about ~me~, my education, underlying perspectives, and what the hell happened with my TikTok. Then I answer some of the most popular questions I've been asked by you guys recently: this week it's pornography addiction and some signs you might want to talk to a therapist. If you have a question for me, email it to handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "Handy Help Me." If you want to support me further, please download this episode and leave me a 5-star review. See you next week

Holy sh*t, it's happening. Welcome to the Handy Mandy podcast, an open, unfiltered, education-informed discussion on all things sex and sexuality.  Do you have a question you want answered or topic you want covered, email your question to handymandy919@gmail.com with the subject line "HANDY HELP ME." New episodes every Tuesday or Wednesday!More resources: https://linktr.ee/handymandy919