Hayley & Ruth: Two Stars

Hayley sets Ruth up on Tinder against her wishes and the pair review King Lear, directed by and starring Kenneth Branagh. Obviously they haven't seen it yet, but since when has that ever been an obstacle to reviewing?

Hayley and Ruth take suggestions from the listeners and review all the hot button topics, from wooden coat-hangers to Elon Musk's rebranding of Twitter.

After a long hiatus in which Ruth persisted in continuing her own one-woman lockdown, the reviewing duo are back doing what they do best, reviewing things they haven't actually seen. Meanwhile Ruth is unimpressed by Hayley's holistic beauty products and Hayley is definitely not in a cult.

Hayley and Ruth review the current selection of the Covid vaccines, while also finding time to cast a scathing eye over all online theatre.

Is it a global pandemic or is it actually a global, site specific, highly ambitious, multi media/theatre piece? Hayley & Ruth firmly believe it's the latter and proceed to review everything from the 'casting' to the 'writing' of the Covid response with their usual mixture of hypocrisy and idiocy.

It's four years since the podcast reviewed the EU Referendum and in this episode Hayley and Ruth discus Brexit, as always with varying degrees of accuracy. Also Hayley explains self-care and Ruth reminisces about her own childhood Brexit while reiterating her stance on therapy.

Hayley & Ruth interview the incredibly softly spoken author Jinny Glover. A woman so quiet that members of her own family question her existence... Guest starring Ruth Bratt (@ruthbratt). susanharrisoncharacters.com gemmaarrowsmith.com

Hayley & Ruth are at the National Theatre waiting to review some play or other. But while they wait, they respond to a listener request to review popular television programme The Apprentice.

Hayley and Ruth review the British heatwave. Despite uncomfortably high temperatures and melting train tracks, Hayley has had the time of her life during the heatwave, whereas Ruth refuses to wear anything other than wool. Oh and the pair also receive a pie in the post. Catch up with Susan's live dates here: https://susanharrisoncharacters.com/live-dates/ and listen to Gemma's climate change comedy No Planet B here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/no-planet-b/id1460398628. Theme music by Matt Lewesy and Amy Ashworth from Skiffle and the Piffles.

Hayley and Ruth head to the Fortune Theatre in London's West End to watch The Woman in Black. Is the ghost in the play a spectre that only Hayley can see? Or is it a woman in a wig as Ruth suspects? Thanks to listener Jenny for the ghostly suggestion for this episode. See Susan live here: https://susanharrisoncharacters.com/live-dates/ and Gemma's climate change comedy No Planet B is here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/no-planet-b/id1460398628

Hayley and Ruth review self help books, including such classics as Don't Forget Your Crown, Make Yourself Cozy and The Secret, in what turns out to be closer to an impromptu counselling session than a journalistic review. Recorded on Hampstead Heath London. Theme music by Matt Lewsey and Amy Ashworth from Skiffle and the Piffles.

Hayley and Ruth look forward to what 2019 has in store in arts and culture, reviewing art exhibitions, plays and films, none of which have happened yet. Susan Harrison is in Showstopper! The Improvised Musical at the Other Palace until March: https://lwtheatres.co.uk/whats-on/showstopper-the-improvised-musical/ Gemma Arrowsmith is performing her show EARTHLING at VAULT Festival in February: https://vaultfestival.com/whats-on/gemma-arrowsmith-auntie/

Hayley and Ruth review the BBC1 Christmas Day schedule, which includes such gems as Zog, BBC News, Christmas Morning from Oldham Paris Church and Hammy's Boomerang Adventure. Obviously they haven't seen any the programmes on offer but when has that ever stopped them before? Theme music as ever by Skiffle and the Piffles.

As Christmas approaches Hayley and Ruth brave London's busy Oxford Street to watch Jodie Whittaker turning the Christmas lights on. Along the way they review the John Lewis advert... without having seen it of course. Theme music as ever by Skiffle and the Piffles. 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' thanks to Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com).

Hayley & Ruth review the cultural sensation of Love Island. Hayley has seen every episode while Ruth hasn't seen a single episode and in fact doesn't own a television. This, they feel, gives them a unique perspective in order to review it. Susan's show Susan Harrison is a Bit Weepy is on at the Voodoo Rooms 4th-25th (not 13th) August at 14:00 during the Edinburgh Fringe.

Hayley & Ruth might have failed to secure free tickets to the latest Jurassic World movie, so they haven't actually seen it yet - but that won't stop them reviewing it. And it certainly won't stop them getting the title of the movie slightly wrong throughout their review.

After a never ending winter, for two whole days this April, the UK saw sunshine. Hayley and Ruth review this brief bit of British Summer Time from London's bustling Southbank, by the River Thames.

In this episode, Hayley and Ruth are thrilled to chat to highly experienced actor Lesley Boughton, star of rep, fringe, big screen, small screen and medium screen.

On the most romantic day of the year, Hayley and Ruth join Irish poet Fintan Cresss to review a restaurant and to talk about his latest book Hallowed Halls.

From Ruth's old offices at the Telegraph, Hayley & Ruth usher in 2018 by reviewing the new year fireworks display. They also look back at their cultural highlights of 2017.

Just in time for Christmas, Hayley and Ruth journey to Norwich to see a production of Cinderella by legendary panto director Reuben Bourgeois (Alex Lynch, @AlexJRLynch) who explains how he is reinventing the pantomime without all that frivolous nonsense like 'fun'.

This month, Hayley & Ruth journey to a remote Scottish island to meet renowned theatre director Athene Babbard and watch her new version of The Scottish Play (Macbeth). Lucy Trodd (along with Susan) is a member of Showstopper! The Improvised Musical http://www.theshowstoppers.org/ Find Lucy on Twitter @LucyTrodd and book for Twin Peaks themed improv here: http://thenurserytheatre.com/events/10nov2017/

Hayley and Ruth attend an invigorating piece of invisible theatre and review a Nordic bakery in London's Soho.

Hayley and Ruth are back in London after a gruelling month of reviewing shows in Edinburgh. Hayley's had her heart broken, Ruth may or may not publish a review. Listen to their EdFringe top tips.

Hayley & Ruth are on the frontline of art once again as they meet artist Macey ***** in a warehouse in Shoreditch. Guest starring Georgie Morrell as Macey *****.

After a listener requested they review the Co-op opposite Charing Cross Station, Hayley and Ruth find themselves at the supermarket at 6am.

Hayley and Ruth accost world renowned poet Fintan Cresss at the book launch of his latest collection of poems. (With special guest Dan Starkey - @StanDarkley)

Hayley and Ruth discuss how best to spend Valentine's Day and also review some of Hayley's Valentine's cards.

Hayley arrives at Ruth's house on Christmas Day and they spent a quiet Christmas together. Like, seriously quiet. Maybe reviewing Christmas will cheer them both up.

Stefan van der Huis is a modern artist whose work has sadly been passed over for the Turner Prize for being too dynamic and thought-provoking. Hayley and Ruth catch up with him at his latest exhibition. With Charlie Kemp: www.iamcharliekemp.com @Kempezofficial

With no knowledge or expertise of any kind, Hayley and Ruth are the perfect pundits to give you the facts in the run up to the 2016 US election.

Hayley & Ruth find themselves at the house party of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. Hayley struggles with an unwieldy costume while Ruth struggles with some basic social interaction.

Hayley and Ruth meet cabaret performer La Poule after a performance on London's South Bank to talk about art, love and criticism. (Also starring Sarah Louise Young: www.sarah-louise-young.com, @cabaretwhore)

In this episode Hayely and Ruth stop off at a Motorway Service Station on their way back from Edinburgh where they review the Little Chef menu as a work of literature.

With Hayley still AWOL in Edinburgh, Ruth introduces this episode from the Two Stars archive, in which Hayley and Ruth discuss EdFringe digs and the five star rating system.

With Hayley away in Edinburgh, in this episode we delve into the archives and listen to Hayley & Ruth's journey to the Edinburgh Fringe in 2015.

In this episode, Hayley and Ruth review Britain's decision to leave the EU. With very little knowledge or understanding, they tackle the subjects of Brexit, our new Prime Minister and her choice of Foreign Secretary.

It's the 4th of July so in this episode Hayley & Ruth review American Independence (after Ruth has explained to Hayley what Independence Day is).

In this special episode, Hayley and Ruth review the EU referendum. Before it happens.

In this first episode, Hayley and Ruth review all the summer blockbusters of 2016. In particular the Angry Birds movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. As is customary, they have not seen any of these films.