Not Your Average Mai Podcast

In this episode, we finally sit down to talk about ... finances in relationships! What does it mean to equitably share income and expenses in a relationship? Tune in as we discuss everything relationship and money - sharing finances when dating vs. being married, getting or not getting prenups, women's earning power when starting a family, and much more.

To close out our wedding recap series, we answer all of your questions about wedding drama, regrets and lessons learned, including the most asked question: how much did everything cost?! You've been a part of Monica & Mai Nhia's wedding planning journey from the beginning so you definitely don't want to miss this reflection piece.

Tune into part 1 of our latest episode on all things wedding related! Join us as we reflect on all the moments filled with laughter and tears during the Hmong and western wedding ceremonies for Monica and Mai Nhia. Let the waterworks begin.

It's wedding season and we're in full swing of wedding festivities and planning! Listen in to our final episode of this season as Monica and Mai Nhia share their wedding highlights and lowlights. With less than 100 days before each of their individual weddings, they both get honest about the emotional and financial challenges they've faced throughout their wedding planning, all the tiny details that go into planning a wedding, bridezilla moments, and what they're looking forward to. You don't want to miss this! Stay tuned for a post-wedding recap which will air next season after each of their weddings.

We're living in unprecedented times where some say it's a worker's market. As the pandemic and the great resignation continue, many people are looking towards careers that offer greater work-life balance and equitable pay, and careers that fulfill their creative outlets. We know as Hmong Americans and children of immigrants, creative careers aren't always the first option, let alone welcomed. But we know they exist among our community. Join us as we speak with Phillipe Thao about what it's like to work in a “non-traditional” career as a Hmong American in media and entertainment, and his hopes for the future of Hmong millennials and gen Zer's.

As young Hmong women professionals, we have had our share of great managers and mentors, and not-so-great leaders that we had to work with. In this day and age, what does it mean to be an authentic leader or mentor? How do we build a successful leadership pipeline to develop community leaders or mentors? We are ecstatic to have Doua Thor and KaYing Yang as co-hosts in this episode takeover! Doua and KaYing have been building power in the Hmong and larger AAPI community for decades. They explore what it means to be authentic leaders and how to build up capacity within our communities. Together, they remind us to be vulnerable and show up as ourselves while leading authentically. Tune in for a conversation between these two powerhouses as they share their own journeys and lessons learned. You will not want to miss it!

Join us for our last episode of our 2021 with a podcast swap feature courtesy of the @ReelAsianPodcast team! We give all our #hottakes on Shang-Chi and share more about what the film meant to us. What did you think? Share with us in the comments below! Many kudos and thanks to the Reel Asian Podcast team for the co-feature and edits to the episode!

The internet and social media has really changed our generation's access to Hmong clothes, particularly in the way that Facebook has enabled Hmong Americans to be high consumers of Hmong clothes and accessories in the Hmong clothing market. We invited textile artist and expert, Sheng Lor, to discuss with us not only the history and trends of Hmong textiles and clothing, but also the social-political impacts of the Hmong textiles market, including the supply and demand and how that affects Hmong women producers and makers. Tune in to learn how you can become a more conscious consumer.

We're over a year and a half into the pandemic, halfway through 2021, and anti-Asian hate incidents are still happening across America. We know that they aren't new, and we know that anti-Asian hate has occurred long since before the pandemic started. Let's be honest, they started when we first arrived to this country. However, this time everything is exacerbated by the pandemic and media. So how did we process it all? How are we processing it? Tune in our season finale on our latest life updates (apologies for the delay!) and some of our reactions and thoughts to the ant-Asian hate incidents.

We are really excited to do a first podcast episode swap with Reel Asian Podcast, a show focused on Asian and Asian-American films that examines the themes & cultural impact of the movie. This episode features the movie "Donut King." So grab your donuts, grab your coffee because Ray and Renee sprinkle in their takes throughout this delectable documentary. Let that sweet aroma of freshly baked donuts lure you into this episode as we talk about Ted Ngoy, known as The Donut King, and his rags-to-riches story, his downfall and rise again, and where the donut industry stands today. Follow them on social media: www.facebook.com/ReelAsianPodcast | www.instagram.com/ReelAsianPodcast Follow us! www.facebook.com/NotYourAverageMai | www.instagram.com/NotYourAverageMai

We are over 1 year into the COVID19 pandemic. There’s been a lot of speculation and concerns about how safe and effective the COVID19 Vaccines are, rightfully so given many of the negative experiences that communities of color have faced with Western medicine. However, given the current urgency of the pandemic, we want to discuss the urgency and importance of getting the vaccine when it becomes available to people, and to debunk some of the myths we’ve read/heard about throughout our communities. Tune in as we explore these myths and ways to flip the narrative with Dr. PaFoua Yang, an OBGYN by trade, from St. Paul, MN.

March is Women’s History Month and we definitely cannot miss this opportunity to celebrate all the women in our lives, especially our sisters and girlfriends. In this episode, we dive into the beauty and love of sisterhood and female/women friendships. Yet like any type of relationship, friendships have their highs and lows and sometimes even seasons. We definitely do not shy away from sharing the insecurities, toxicity, and sadly, breakups that we have experienced from our friendships. Sometimes friendship breakups hurt the most, especially when you actually counted on the friendships to last or when you least expected the breakups to happen. Have you experienced a friendship breakup before? Is there ever a right time to declutter friendships, or how do you lovingly let go of friendships? Join us on this episode as we share all the love and loss of the friendships in our lives.

One in five adults experiences a mental health condition every year. We know that the severity of mental illnesses is often stigmatized within the Hmong community, and that usage of mental health services remains low for Asian Americans. In this episode, we sit down with mental health clinician, Kaeo Vang, to explore the definition of mental health conditions, impact of historical trauma vs. intergenerational trauma, and tragedies that happen all too often like suicide. We discuss how we as a community can move beyond de-stigmatizing mental health, and help community members access the mental health support and treatment that they need. Mental health is connected to every system and infrastructure in our society, from housing, food, and education equity to workforce support like maternity and paternity leave. Tune in to hear more on a ‘Not Your Average’ Mental Health 101 session!

In this episode, we examine what relationships look like on-screen and in real life; it's not just all Black and white, people! We discuss the complexities of racial preferences, especially in a society that most often values and upholds whiteness. Do we limit ourselves when we have certain preferences for romantic relationships? In addition, we share the intricate balances of celebrating interracial relationships while promoting relationships/love within our own race/ethnicity. We acknowledge there are very real lived-experiences that discourage women from dating within their own racial/ethnic group (e.g., violence, trauma, patriarchy, misogyny, etc.). How do we navigate these complexities when trying to find authentic love and relationships? Tune in and share your thoughts with us!

We cannot believe it is a new year already! Where did the time go?! 2020 was filled with so many unexpected and unpleasant events. To some, 2020 really felt like the worst year yet. We wanted to end 2020 still being hopeful and optimistic for a better new year. In this first episode of the new year, we discuss our reflections and biggest lessons learned from 2020, and how we are going to make 2021 the best year yet. Tune in for the second half of the episode where we share hot takes on the latest AAPI controversy related to Simu Liu! What are your thoughts on Simu Liu? Do you agree or disagree?

What does the Hmong New Year mean to you? The Hmong New Year is celebrated across the country - and world - from as early as October to as late as December. Historically, it’s a celebration to give thanks to our ancestors and to commemorate the year’s harvest. At the same time, traditions and cultures have evolved over the past many years. Celebrating the Hmong New Year is different this year due to the pandemic but regardless, we take a trip down memory lane to share how we’ve celebrated the Hmong new year and what it means to us as Hmong American women. In honor of closing out the year we also reflect on this past challenging year and share what our hopes are for 2021 and beyond.

This election, we saw record turnout across the country - a pattern which held true for all groups - including Asian American voters. In fact, a third of all AAPI voters live in 10 key competitive states. As the fastest growing ethnic group, Asian Americans have become a growing political force. The record level of engagement from both political campaigns resulted in record turnout in the AAPI community. Now that the race has been called for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, what can the Hmong, and Asian American communities expect?

In this episode we try to take on a lighter subject of taboos in the Hmong community, and unpack why these taboos exist. From discussing the taboo of ‘dating someone with your same last name’ to the taboo of periods and infertility, we’re excited to share our thoughts on these “taboo” subjects and how they essentially all tie back to patriarchy and gender expectations within our community. Tune in to help us unpack and reflect on these taboos!

2020 has reminded us of how much is at stake in this year’s general election, from the global COVID-19 pandemic to the economic recession, ongoing systemic racism and police brutality to climate change. This year’s presidential election is one of the most important, if not THE most important, in the history of our country. In this episode, we discuss the Biden-Kamala presidential ticket, why our votes matter, and how to vote (early). Our communities are living through the consequences of systems and policies that continue to disempower and marginalize our existence. Tune in to hear why we have to stay informed, engaged in the political process, and vote like our lives depend on it!

Not Your Average Mai turns one! We return from our summer break with our third season to celebrate our one year anniversary. We discuss what we learned from our recent #BlackLivesMatter series and how we will continue racial justice work in our lives, especially because we know it is a lifelong journey. We close out by sharing our podcasting tips and tricks, what we have learned as podcasters in our first year, and our hopes for the future of Not Your Average Mai. We hope you tune in and get excited about what we have in store this season! Most importantly, THANK YOU to everyone who has listened and supported us throughout our first year. We could not have done it without you!

What does it mean to be an authentic ally for the Black Lives Matter movement? In this final episode of our three-part #BLM series, we speak with trailblazer Kabzuag Vaj, Co-Executive Director of Freedom Inc., about her work in eliminating anti-blackness and anti-LGBTQ rhetoric and behaviors within our communities. In particular, we discuss how we can be better allies in the movement for collective liberation and justice, and how we can fight against the rampant patriarchy and sexism within the Hmong community while advocating for radical change.

To continue our “Black Lives Matter” series, we invite Dr. Yang Lor from the University of California-Merced to contextualize the history of systemic oppression in our country and unpack the anti-black sentiments within our Hmong community. In this episode, we discuss how we can move our community members to a place of solidarity with the Black community. This conversation highlights how our community often has a mainstream view of Black Lives Matter and the misconception that the movement is only about Black lives mattering. It is essential to think critically and understand that the Black Lives Matter movement is about securing the justice and accountability needed to end senseless, state-sanctioned violence against black and brown bodies. White supremacy must be eradicated across the globe because until Black lives matter, all lives cannot.

It has been a whirlwind of events and emotions this week from the murder of George Floyd, to the mass protests in outrage of this terrible tragedy, and to the violence incited by white supremacy groups across the country. We invited our very first guest, Nancy Xiong - Director of Development and Communications at Hmong Innovating Politics (HIP), to discuss these unfolding events and how coalition building and racial solidarity can address systemic oppression, as well as move our community towards racial and social justice. Our hearts are with our Black siblings who have endured systemic oppression for far too long. We are fully committed to joining the fight for Black freedom and liberation, and addressing the anti-blackness within our Hmong and larger Southeast Asian communities. Join us in making a personal commitment to creating a better world for our Black siblings.

After a recent tear-filled recording, we decided to dedicate a small digital campaign to our moms/mother-figures in honor of Mother’s Day. They are often the unsung heroes in our lives BUT their love, hard work, and sacrifices do not go unnoticed and should be celebrated every single day. We asked our listeners to write a letter to their mothers/mother-figures, in hopes of providing them with a space to reflect, heal, love, or honor these relationships. These are their letters, along with ours! We hope you enjoy them. Happy Mother’s Day!

Is some AAPI representation better than none? May is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month (APAHM), yet mainstream APAHM celebrations have historically commemorated East Asian American history and heritage. We know APAHM goes beyond the month of May and East Asian American narratives, and that our Southeast Asian, South Asian, and Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander communities are equally important in AAPI history. In this episode, we give our hot takes on AAPI representation, how and where we fit into Asian America, and the importance of authenticity in living out our identities as Hmong Americans. We know that our ancestors did not die fighting for sovereignty for us to not embrace our unique history, heritage, and role in Asian America. This month, we pay homage to the generations who came before us and the opportunities that we have today to use our voices and power in advancing social justice.

In this Ask Me Anything (AMA) episode, we answer questions that our listeners are curious about, all UNFILTERED! We share everything ranging from feminism to the number of babies we plan to have (or not have) to our biggest life lessons. Tune in to this episode as we take a break from COVID-19 life to answer all of the questions you sent in! We reflect on our personal goals, careers, and our most unpopular opinions. Many thanks to everyone who DM’ed us a question.

2020 has started out extremely challenging for all of our communities; it is definitely “not your average” year. In this episode, we discuss how our families and larger Asian American community have been impacted by the global COVID-19 pandemic, and the racism that has been heightened by our administration’s choice to racialize this outbreak. In addition, we address the importance of being counted in the 2020 Census especially during volatile times like now, and outline ways to make sure that you and all of your community members can participate. We end this episode with our thoughts on the Democratic presidential candidates and how well-equipped they are in resolving continuous and pressing challenges in our country, if elected.

In the spirit of Women’s History Month, this episode celebrates womxn from all walks of life and the value of sisterhood. In this episode, we share key moments and experiences that have defined our womanhood, and how role models, mentors, and sponsors have inspired us to be the women we are today. We know that Hmong womxn have paved the way for so many of us, going above and beyond to lift all of us up. As such, this episode is dedicated to them and all of the not your average Mai's in the world who continue to be resilient, fierce, and fearless.

It seems more and more challenging in today's modern world to date and form romantic relationships as we attempt to balance our careers and other competing commitments in our lives. Being a Hmong woman adds an additional layer of complexity to dating, so how do you navigate through it all while maintaining your own identity? Tune in to Part 2 of Episode 08 where we dive into our relationship experiences and discuss how we have maintained our identities while pursuing our professional and personal goals and aspirations.

When is it the right time to DTR, say ‘I love you,’ say DTF, or send “U up?” texts to your person? It seems more and more challenging in today's modern world to date and form romantic relationships as we attempt to balance our careers and other competing commitments in our lives. Being a Hmong woman adds an additional layer of complexity to dating, so how do you navigate through it all while maintaining your own identity? Listen in as we get personal about our dating experiences and share our relationship advice in this two-part series, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

In November 2019, the Hmong community suffered a great tragedy: a mass shooting that killed four Hmong men, injured 6 others, and devastated many more families. Unfortunately, news outlets like CNN uncouthly reported that it was “another milestone” in our community; CNN erroneously said it was our “first mass shooting.” Law enforcement quickly assumed it was gang-related and launched a gang taskforce in Fresno, CA. As citizens in a country with a gun homicide rate that is 25 times that of other high-income countries, we know it was not our first mass shooting and it was not a milestone. Just a month later, in December 2019, an elder Hmong man was shot multiple times by officers responding to a domestic dispute at his home. So how do we ensure safety for all people, especially within our Hmong community when we are deemed perpetual foreigners and are also fervent gun owners? How do we change the narrative? We know everyone may not agree with us, but we envision a safe world where assault weapons are not readily accessible and safe gun owners are all treated the same regardless of their race.

In this final episode of our first season, we reflect on our challenges and triumphs and share our lessons learned from the past year and decade. Most importantly, we talk about our biggest areas of growth and what we are looking forward to in 2020 and the decade! Whether it was learning to be kinder to ourselves, be vulnerable, or stand up for ourselves, we all leave 2019 feeling more confident in ourselves and look forward to the new year. What are your top highlights of the year? The decade? Share with us your biggest highlights of the year and what you are most looking forward to in 2020. We will be featuring guest stories on our social media channels!

Domestic violence hurts everyone, so how do we build structures that not only eliminate domestic violence but also support survivors? We close out National Domestic Violence Awareness month in this episode to discuss the pervasive cultural norms that have enabled domestic violence in the Hmong community for far too long. Meanwhile, we explore possible solutions that our community can take to end domestic violence and better support survivors. We recognize that it is on #allofus to end domestic violence, especially in honor of the victims, survivors, and allies who have paved the way to create a world free from violence against women.

What does it mean to be a “real man”? Co-host Katie and her husband Matt discuss how changing cultural norms and taking careful steps to change certain behaviors can save lives. Most notably, Matt redefines masculinity and explores how acknowledging the problem is the first step towards achieving true equality for men and women. This episode concludes our mini-series talk with our partners about domestic violence.

This episode continues our mini-series discussing domestic violence with our partners. Co-host Liz and her partner Sid discuss the changing trends of youth in India, the fact that young men are stepping up to challenge the status quo, and possible action steps for those interested. Their conversation underscores the fact that domestic violence happens in every community. But we can borrow best practices from each other, because #ittakesallofus to stop domestic violence.

In this episode, we continue with our mini-series to talk to our partners about National Domestic Violence Awareness month. In particular, we explore the complexity, challenges, and actions that Hmong men can take to be part of the solution to ending domestic violence. We discuss the importance of public awareness campaigns, accountability, and healthy relationships. This episode features co-host Mai Nhia and her partner Tong.

Murder-suicides and rampant domestic violence against Hmong women continue to plague our community, however, we fiercely resist all systems and cultural norms that enable and promote these behaviors. To kick off our mini-series, co-host Monica sits down with her partner Nick to discuss what cis-gendered, heterosexual men can do to support women, and be better allies in the movement to end violence against women.

The controversial bride price has always been a relevant and hot topic for discussion in the Hmong American community (yes, even among our millennial generation!). By practice, the bride price is the amount of money that a groom’s family pays to a bride’s family to marry their Hmong daughter. Traditionally, it was seen as compensation to the bride’s family for the loss of their daughter’s labor. In this episode, we discuss the cultural shifts in how the bride price has been practiced and the value of the bride price (or lack thereof) in modern day society. In a culture that has traditionally treated women less than equal, we share how we resist against patriarchy and what it means to truly reach gender equity for Hmong American women and men, beyond the bride price.

As four women who bear Hmong and American names, we explore the origins of our names and how we have (re)claimed our identities with them. We share the meaning behind the name "Mai" and our understanding of how it relates to being a Hmong woman or girl. Tune in to learn more about us and the importance of (re)defining your Hmong name, or lack of one, for yourself.

As members of the Hmong American community, we are not strangers to being displaced people. Many of us have heard stories about the migration and exodus of our family members from Southeast Asia, and our ancestors from China. Today, migrants from Central and South American countries face similar hardships due to foreign policy that the United States has pursued in the region. However, the current administration continues to unlawfully and inhumanely impose immigration policies that once again harm the families and children that they have caused to seek asylum and a safe home in the United States. In this episode, we share some of our families’ stories, and explore why the past, present, and future of immigration polices in the United States continue to matter to the Hmong American community.

Get to know us, your hosts of Not Your Average Mai. Tune in for some truths and lies and learn who is a globetrotter, who likes shoes a little too much, and who likes to jump out of helicopters.

The right to safe, legal abortion continues to be at the center of our country’s political debate. Tune in as we explore how the recent early abortion bans will impact the Hmong American community and how a patriarchal Hmong American society can shape women’s reproductive choices. We share the resilience of the women we know in this conversation, centering gender equity and women’s rights within the abortion debate.

What’s in a name? In this first exclusive episode, we explore the meaning behind our podcast title and the hopes and dreams that we envision for our audience. Welcome to our journey!