Analyzing a lifetime of physical, emotional and mental abuse. A personal journey that will reflect on key moments, changing behaviors and creating new patterns for self-growth. Raw, emotional and authentic storytelling to help others not feel alone.
The Handbook - Part III "The patterns never lie." Documenting behaviors, healing trauma, narcissism, avoidant attachment, love bombing, anxious attachment, self abandonment, rejection wounds, abusive relationships growth, human connection, relationships
Connecting the dots of my sexual trauma. Intro: Amanda Leigh #sexuality #shame #guilt #fear #death #healing #trauma #introspection #shadowwork #reflection #ascension
The beginning of the journey. Finding the courage to break through a 20 year long cycle, little did I know I was about to step into a similar situation...with someone new. #relationships #healing #attachment #behaviors #patterns #cycles #signs #synchronicities #fate #releasing
The final purge. Sharing everything that's been suppressed to move forward to a new chapter. Mental and emotional manipulation by self and others, abandonment and rejection wounds, narcissism, tactics, the playbook, weaponizing, trauma , masks, mirrored behavior, split, resentment, growth, healing, spirituality, reality and fantasy.
We have to get to a place where we can spit the facts, where we can tell it and see it like it is. Otherwise, we remain stuck in situations we don't deserve to be in. We deserve life. We deserve to be free....so let us free ourselves.
Seemingly orchestrated events guiding me to believe that there is no such thing as a coincidence on this journey. #spirituality #awakening #raisingconsciousness #evolution #healing #catalyst #prayer #universe #guidance #energy #purpose #divinity
In understanding yourself, you begin to understand those around you. We can create our own suffering by self-abandoning or we can embrace the parts of ourselves we were taught to shame and achieve a state of inner peace. We all live in a land of mirrors. Will you accept the deepest parts of you that will be reflected back, or will you wear a mask in the hopes of receiving love and attention for being someone else entirely? Which world will you choose?
In this episode you will hear shadow work in real time. In our process of healing, it's important that we apply empathy and understanding to what the wounded versions of ourselves did. Being able to forgive ourselves will be a key factor towards self-love and acceptance. This episode focuses on childhood trauma and the moments building up to what I deemed as my "horrific crime." Trigger warning - Animal Harm and Domestic Violence
Telepathy is the communication of thoughts or ideas by means other than the known senses and it is one of the most common experiences of the twin flame journey. The human mind can only conceptualize so much before it dubs itself as "delusional," mainly because of the conditioning by society that deems things as crazy when it's unknown. People do this because of fear. This part of the journey can be very challenging because we often feel misunderstood and alone but try to take comfort in knowing that you are not. Many of us, collectively, are expanding our consciousness to be able to see things we never could before, and it is very real. So if you are in your phase of doubt, of gaslighting your own intuition, just know you are probably right on track. Hold strong because it will get better. Remember that this journey is designed to bring you closer to your self, which means trusting that inner knowing.
The Twin Flame Experience - Triggering a spiritual awakening to bring you closer to your true self.
This episode will provide information about this journey, from my own personal experience, to help offer perspective and a deeper understanding of this controversial "concept." - Mirrored souls triggering core wounds for the purpose of ascension -
January 8th 2021 I wrote B a goodbye letter because I could see the behaviors, red flags, and incompatibilities clearly. He never got the letter. I chose to overlook the red flags, abandon myself and stay for another year and a half. I didn't realize at the time that the traumabond had already formed. For those who prefer visuals, podcast is also recorded on YouTube channel search "The Anatomy of Melancholy." The Goodbye Letter - YouTube Episode includes: Reading the letter gaslighting manipulation lying betrayal self-abandonment rejection wounds social media women bodies insecurities confusion minimizing deflection victim mentality stonewalling devaluing conditioning attachment relational trauma positives and negatives self love self respect breaking a trauma bond no contact trauma bonding inconsistencies actions and words not matching empowerment and as always REAL HUMAN EMOTION.
July 5th, 2022 - Recording of confrontation included Highlighting a pivotal moment in my growth - Setting a boundary and confronting an abuser from my past. Boundaries childhood trauma self respect using your voice challenging courage Father/daughter relationship avoidant attachment sexual harassment standing up --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Feeling like a ghost invalidated unseen relationships attachment betrayal wounds healing guilt repeating the cycle of childhood trauma breaking patterns growth choosing myself --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Battling intrusive thoughts, betrayal trauma, ego wounds, and depression thru covid fevers. Recordings from May 21st - May 30th. Can we fight thru this? Stay tuned. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Choosing to grow together Healing Betrayal Therapy Mental health Relationship transparency Growth Communication Anxiety Triggers Healing Mindful Love --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Episode talking points: valuing life protecting myself growth Setting boundaries reactions to boundaries mental health suicidal thoughts reactive abuse anxious attachment fearful avoidant depression narcissism triggers relationship anxiety
Recordings from March 19th - 28th warning: repetitive Tied to episodes "The Unexpected" and "The sex" Attachment vs. Love Driven by an unhealthy ego Wounded Relationship Introspection Decision making Confusion Forgiveness --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
"I don't want to be afraid of you anymore." - Me - March 18th, 2022 "The Sex" a sequel to last weeks episode titled "The Unexpected." An unexpected encounter leading to intimacy. Highlighting the changes and growth in my body, my mind, and my sexuality. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
An unexpected encounter. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Stages of healing - When the good outweighs the bad. Hope for an unwritten future. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The aftershock that comes after the betrayal Processing anger, and recognizing the deeper emotion understanding the psychology to see them as human. *Healing isn't Linear* --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
March 6th, 2021 A+B - Our first night away in a hotel called "Verb" in Boston, Mass Highlighting Communication Barriers, Body Language, Body insecurities, Backhanded Compliments, Silent Treatment, Protest Behavior, Anxious/Avoidant Attachment, Abandonment and Rejection Fears, Victim Mentality, empty promises, gut, intuition. Narcissism. Revisiting his behavior in hindsight after learning he cheated. Connecting dots to understand patterns and tactics. Included: A recording (low quality) the day after March 7th, 2021 documentation of me excusing, minimizing behavior, and gaslighting myself, while also showing growth in other areas. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Focusing on my self-sabotaging tendencies, recognizing the origin, and reflecting on the steps, and growth to breaking the pattern. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Highlighting covert narcissism and subtle manipulation, with some added hints of spiritual abuse. This is my story and the moments leading up...to how I lost my son. Time Period: 2001-2004 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Sharing documented recordings from relationship triggers and reflecting on them. Connecting the dots from past to present. This episode marks a pivotal moment in the relationship when I stumbled across his social media following. It triggered childhood wounds and was the moment I learned what my deep-rooted core belief was: That I was not enough, and that I was replaceable. Event happening six months into our relationship, triggering Fearful Avoidant attachment to become activated. Two recordings shared January 3rd, 2021 - While inside of the trigger, and my reaction - Codependent, people-pleasing - sobbing - apologetic January 4th, 2021 - Realizing his behavior wasn't a reflection on me. Composed, rationalizing, lifting myself up, setting boundaries Hindsight: Rewiring my brain without even realizing it. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Reflecting on the emotions and thoughts of a recent betrayal wound. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The breakdown of recorded thoughts and feelings, documented over the course of a year and a half long relationship from someone with fearful avoidant attachment, and Complex trauma. Fantasy vs Reality Intuition vs Projection August 2nd 2020 Two days after the first date. Recording titled: Soulmate - Inevitable --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The story of A and B. Processing a betrayal wound - Connecting the dots - and not giving up until the truth comes out. - Catching a Cheater - Navigating through the course of the relationship, reflecting on key moments, and in the process seeing my value, my significance, and learning who I am. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The things I have learned about myself after entering into a new relationship with unhealed trauma. Creating false narratives, looking for rejection cues, survival mode, fight or flight, hypervigilance. With support from: Erin M Brown AKA Erin Brown Conroy Why “false narrative” is your worst enemy… – Focus, Create, Repeat — With Author, Writer, & Speaker Erin M. Brown, MA, MFA (erinbrownconroy.blog) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Self-reflective (Surprise Surprise) Thoughts and feelings about self-reflecting? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Self reflection - Overcoming abuse: Never allowing myself to be on the back burner again. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Exploring triggers in the first relationship after an abusive one. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Analyzing a lifetime of abuse, starting at childhood. Reflecting on the moment the guilt set in, which would allow me to accept negative behavior in my future. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
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