The Gardenia Project -Women's Storytelling

In this podcast we listen to two very different stories of how Covid-19 played out in their lives and with their loved ones. These stories are intense, but just like I always say on the podcast, they are so important. These truths are the fabric of our lives, the events that shape us, and the happenings that change us.   Podcasts aren't free to create. I pay my fantastic producer, Stephanie Cohn, for each episode and I am so grateful for her creativity! (I never take a paycheck.) Please considering supporting this podcast with just a few dollars a month by going here: https://www.patreon.com/thegardeniaproject

In this podcast we hear the voices of 17 people (plus my own) telling their stories of the pandemic world they live in. What are they doing? What are they thinking or feeling? What are they binge watching, eating, working on, what thing have they found that they do that has surprised them? Do you hear yourself in these voices? I believe that we are stronger and kinder… together. As humans we were meant to be connected. One way right now to feel our collective strength is to listen to one another. May these stories deepen your compassion for others. Maybe they will also make you laugh like they did for Charlie and I. A little levity can also go a long way. (: Portraits from the people speaking are on the blog post and can be found here:  https://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/voicesofquarantine Podcasts aren't free to create. I pay my producer, Stephanie Cohn, for each episode and I am so grateful for her creativity! (I never take a paycheck.) Please considering supporting this podcast with just a few dollars a month by going here: https://www.patreon.com/thegardeniaproject Huge thanks to our sponsor:  Kate Bathras Coaching  https://www.katebathrascoaching.com/    

So full disclosure here. I have participated in Rockstar Camp. I did the eight week program in learning how to use your voice and then got on stage in Portland Maine in May of 2019 to sing Firework by Katy Perry! (Go me!) It was an absolutely transformative experience which shifted who I am and how I live in the world. I loved the experience (though I was scared to do it!) and learned so much. Months afterward I asked Megan to talk to me more on the podcast. I wanted to know her back story. How did she become a coach and a leader? How did she come up with the idea for Rockstar Camp? What were her motivations and what was the path that brought her here. I know that there is always interesting stories to hear when we ask about them. Her story is fascinating and insightful and a real inspiration for those who may still be wondering what they are going to do when they grow up. Sometimes the answers to what we want to do seem clear and then they aren't. Then they seem clear again. Then they aren't again. Life is funny that way. Cheers to discipline and perseverance and being scrappy! All of which Megan Jo talks about in this show. Head over to The Gardenia Project page of the website to see her portraits from the photo session! https://www.jendeanphoto.com/the-gardenia-project Podcasts aren't free to create. (: I pay my producer every month cause she is fabulous!! (I never take a paycheck.) Please considering supporting this podcast with just a few dollars a month by going here: https://www.patreon.com/thegardeniaproject Huge thanks to our sponsors:  Kate Bathras Coaching  https://www.katebathrascoaching.com/ If you want to find out more about Rockstar Camp go here: https://www.meganjowilson.com/rockstar-camp-enrol

Often when I talk to women about their stories it is only now in the looking back that we are able to see the lessons that we learned. This story is one of those. A time of deep learning, that when it was happening felt unbearable. Mary just had no idea how she could make it through all the grief she was sitting with at that fateful period of time in 2005. She speaks now with a voice of clarity and wisdom from all that she learned back then. The ways that it shaped her life moving forward and how she got to now - in a whole new life she would never have imagined then.  Thank you to the sponsors of this episode: Kate Bathras of Kate Bathras Coaching and Jennifer Elizabeth Moors of Modern Medicine Lady   

In this podcast we listen to multiple voices from women (including my own) telling their stories of vulnerability or power about their hair, how a hair cut changed their life, what other people thought about it, changes that came over time or abruptly, that impacted their life and how they felt about themselves. My kid, I think, said it best and most succinctly when I asked her if it should be a big deal when a woman decides to cut off all her hair she said, “Well if it feels like a big deal to them then definitely support that, but if they are like ‘this is no biggie' then you shouldn't make a huge deal out of it.” Simple and so wise. Too bad our society often doesn't follow her advice. Listen in to hear the multi layered feelings we have around our hair. Check out the blog post with portraits of the women here:  https://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/howhaircutsshapeus Please considering supporting this podcast with just a few dollars a month: https://www.patreon.com/thegardeniaproject Huge thanks to our sponsors:  Kate Bathras Coaching  https://www.katebathrascoaching.com/   Jennifer Elizabeth Moore of Empathic Mastery https://www.modernmedicinelady.com/

Chanel tells the story of what she decides to do with her own anger, fear, and frustration at the state of the world in the last few years. How she decides that maybe what we all need to do for each other, a lot more, is listen. But as nice as that sounds it isn't actually the easiest or most comfortable thing to do. Especially when you take a road trip and sit down next to people that you know do not share your point of view. What does it mean to take in what another person says when you know it will oppose your own beliefs? Especially when we are talking about belief systems. How do you learn from it? What does that listening change for you? Listen to Chanel and then maybe do your own research. It is a challenge, I believe, more of us could take on. Thank you to our sponsor Jennifer Elizabeth Moore, Modern Medicine Lady. She is the authority on all things Empathic and how to deal with being one! Jennifer has a new book about to be released that you will want to grab a copy of! Learn more at her website! https://www.modernmedicinelady.com/  

Jessica is an amazingly loving happy person who also has Trichotillomania, which is a hair pulling disorder. She has battled it since she was 10 years old. Her anxiety and a belief that she would never be 'enough' was pervasive growing up and as she got older it led her to drinking to self medicate. Then there was a fateful night when her whole life was forever changed. She was drugged at a bar and kidnapped. She survived this horrible experience, but it left it's mark deeply on someone who already dealt with anxiety daily. Trying to come out from under the PTSD that she now had was an even bigger battle. Jessica tells us a remarkable story about how she came to finally began to take her confidence and her life back through EMDR work, what the voices in your head tell you versus the truth that you have to keep telling yourself, and how every day she still works hard to believe the real truths about herself. Want to learn more about EMDR check out the website: https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ Our fabulous fairy god mother sponsor is Jennifer Elizabeth Moore. Ready to train with her for EFT tapping here in Maine!? Head over to her website and learn more: http://eftinstruction.com/

In Feb of 2017 Elizabeth told her story on this podcast. She was episode number 2. If you haven't had the chance to listen to it then just pause this and go check it out, it is so powerful!  Also you keep listening to this you will hear a spoiler for that episode...you have been warned! You can read the summary of that episode and see more portraits of Elizabeth over on The Gardenia Project page of my website here: https://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/rewriting-your-story I asked Elizabeth to do a follow up podcast and she said yes, because my story feels so different now then when I told it 2 years ago.  What she didn't quite understand then was that fear was still crippling her life and holding her back So today we will hear what happens when we re-write our story. Elizabeth tells us about how she learned that she has the choice of choosing love over fear.   Our stories can be healing if we allow ourselves to see that transformation can happen when we choose to rewrite our own stories and learn from them instead of continuing to let them hold us back. Not an easy task, but something that can change our life for the better! This podcast is a labor of love and we aren't in the black quite yet. So we thank our sponsor Jen Moore of Modern Medicine Lady and Empathicmastery.com for her support. If you wanted to gift us your support financially we would be grateful. You can do that over on patreon.com/thegardeniaproject

In this episode Leigh, creator and owner of The Holy Donut in Portland, Maine tells us so many things about life in this podcast. Like what it's like to put your heart and soul into your business idea. What happens when you put your head down and work your butt off for a dream? What it's like when that dream unexpectedly takes off a light speed. How the universe can hear you. What does it mean to listen to your soul when it comes to eating? What real parental support (even when you are a grown up) looks like. How hard it is to raise a kid as a single mom. And what's it is like to lose someone who had given you so much love and support.    This episode was brought to you by Jennifer Elizabeth Moore, Modern Medicine Lady. If you are a sensitive being in this overwhelming world she can help! Head over to her website www.empathicsafety.com to check out her free offering. You will be glad you did!    

This is a re-release, a second telling of this story. When I first released this episode I didn't have a producer and it ended up being quite long which I think kept some people from listening to it. So I wanted to have my collaborator, Stephanie Cohn listen and produce this episode for me. She did a wonderful job and I love the results that we created together. This story from a dear friend of mine may be hard for any of you that have lost a child. As Kim shares the story of the loss of her baby Garrick, I want to make sure that you have that warning before listening since it is such a delicate subject matter for those of you that have experienced this loss. However, her story is one full of love and laughter. She talks about the things she learned from her son, Garrick. How he taught her to see all the beauty in life and be grateful for it every day. How the love from friends and family really does carry you through.  Kim still grieves every year and yet manages to be a light for so many. She chooses to see the love all around her despite deep loss. She talks about moving on and the fears that came when she had another child. This in depth look at life after the death of a child is a tribute to how fragile life is and how strong we can be.  A huge thank you to Jennifer Elizabeth Moore of Modern Medicine Lady for being our sponsor for this episode. Check out her amazing website full of help for empathic women! If you want to check out the portraits of Kim you can see them here:  https://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/ep112lovecarriesyourthrough

Jeannie had a regular life, just like all of us, until one day it changed in an instant. Her entire life hung in the balance and no one was sure what would happen. What Jeannie talks about throughout the interview are the small steps she took to put on foot in front of the other. The little things along the way that ended up being huge milestones in her recovery. Small things that were big celebrations! What she teaches us is to celebrate the small stuff in our lives. The things that seem little, but make a big difference. The daily minutiae that just blends in and we tend not even to notice. That stuff. It IS worth celebrating. It's worth slowing down and seeing. Because that is where we derive joy. Jeannie has plenty of joy and positivity. Enough to go around for everyone. She was so fun to interview. We laughed a lot about the things that happened to her in the story. She has a great sense of humor. And I loved that her story serves as an example of the strength of the human spirit as well as a touchstone for celebration. As you will hear, she is just the right person for that. Re-birthday and all!!   A huge thank you to Jennifer Elizabeth Moore of Modern Medicine Lady for sponsoring this episode of The Gardenia Project. She can help you to recover and grow your tools for being an empathic woman in this world. She offers and teaches EFT and much more, head over to her website to learn more!   Want to see portraits of Jeannie? Head over to my website www.jendeanphoto.com to check them out as well as the other women that have shared their stories!  

“BE NICE”. That is overwhelmingly the message that girls get their whole lives. You know the old saying “Sugar and spice and everything nice. THAT is what girls are made of”. UGH! I can see now how dreadful that is as a message, but I still feel that pressure every single day. Really, I do. We are just conditioned from the time we are little to not make waves. To be kind and for many in my generation, also obedient. So yeah, it's a lot to come out from under. Sarah tells the story of what happened to her that set into motion a string of events that completely changed her life. All because she just couldn't find the way to say, No. It is a wild ride and a valuable lesson for anyone who listens on how far things can go without out that one word. Boundaries are super important and learning how to put them in place is a skill we all need to have. Come listen to the story of a journey that went to far and how she came back. How Sarah learned this lesson in a big way. This episode was brought to you by the sponsorship of the wonderful fairy god mother, Jennifer Elizabeth Moore, Modern Medicine Lady. Click the link below to sign up for her webinar on how to manage being an empath in this world!  Empath Secrets Webinar Link: http://empathsecrets.com/ Here is a link to the ACES study that Sarah refers to in her story. I tool the time to read this and was blown away. The story about the doctor working in an obesity clinic and how he ended up doing this study is totally fascinating. Totally worth your time to read! https://acestoohigh.com/2012/10/03/the-adverse-childhood-experiences-study-the-largest-most-important-public-health-study-you-never-heard-of-began-in-an-obesity-clinic Want to see the portraits of Sarah? Here they are: https://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/no-is-a-nice-word

The theme of this podcast is, Belief. Right now in the United States we are a part of the #MeToo movement and just finished the Kavanaugh hearings. It is devastating for many many women to know that if they spoke up they would not be believed. While so many women have come forward to share their stories of sexual abuse and stand together there are still so many more that stay quiet. That live in fear lest they should be judged. Sarah was brave enough to speak up. I thank her for those of us that stay silent. Sarah chose to share her story, not all the gory details, but the impact. The way that it changed who she is. Both sides, the ways that she battles still against the belief that she is unlovable and the ways that it has made her appreciate how amazingly beautiful the world can be. To see the rest of the portraits of Sarah go on over to my blog post here:     

Sarah was born in Calcutta, India and adopted at 6 weeks old by a family in Maine. That should have been the biggest change for her life, but it wasn't, by far. She faced alopecia as a child and then vitiligo too. Sarah was super shy growing up and then found a way to deal with it. All of these things taught Sarah a lot. She shares her journey from India to America, sickness to health, and all sides of her personality with us along the way. Her story reminded me of that we all can learn from each other. Always.  Love this podcast? Want to buy me a cup of coffee...figuratively? You can support Stephanie (my producer) and I here on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thegardeniaproject You can also advertise on the podcast now! Just head over here and send me a note! https://www.jendeanphoto.com/the-gardenia-project-sponsorship/

Britt's story is truly unlike any I have told here before (or ever heard for that matter). It is one of an early teen life full of sadness that ends up with her being kidnapped. And then it spirals out from there. I won't say more, but this is an episode you won't want to miss. Because like all the rest of the woman who have shared their stories Britt's life now is a wonderful happy success story that she is proud of. Often though when we look back we are embarrassed or ashamed of our story. More often those emotions come from things that were outside our control, but we still blame ourselves. And that is one reason why I share these stories. So we know that we aren't alone. That we all feel the same and that we can escape our shame.  Hey guys I am now on Patreon. If you love this podcast and want to support me you could buy me a cup of coffee in the form of $2 per month. (: These donations will help me pay for my new producer Stephanie Cohn! Here's the link: https://www.patreon.com/thegardeniaproject

This story from a dear friend of mine may be hard for any of you that have lost a child. I want to make sure that you have that warning before listening since it is such a delicate subject matter for those of you that have experienced this loss. However, her story is one full of love and laughter. She talks about the things she learned from Garrick. How he taught her to see all the beauty in life and be grateful for it every day. How the love from friends and family really does carry you through.  Kim still grieves every year and yet manages to be a light for so many. She chooses to see the love all around her despite deep loss. She talks about moving on and the fears that came when she had another child. This in depth look at life after the death of a child is a tribute to how fragile life is and how strong we can be. 

Happy International Women's Day 2018 my friends!! I am celebrating the amazing women in the world today by releasing another podcast telling the story of a strong woman!  Today's story is one of sudden trauma, how your life can change in a split second, and how the inner voice in your head can decide a lot about the way we heal. Your entire life is hugely effected and somewhat decided by your attitude. Sometimes we forget what a huge role they play. This story is a reminder of how important it is to keep our voice a positive one! 

We all learn different lessons in life and they come to us in numerous ways. Jesseca shares a lesson that she never dreamed that she would have to learn. It has taught her about love and acceptance of those that she loves in a whole new way. I respect her so much for the way she handled herself in the middle of watching her life fall apart. I also respect what she let that time in her life teach her about the world, accepting others, telling the truth, true love and kindness to ourselves.  There are so many things that life will teach us if we choose to learn them.  What have you learned? Interested in telling your story? Click here to fill out the application to be part of the project: http://www.jendeanphoto.com/the-gardening-project-application/

Warning: This episode is especially difficult and could be triggering for some people who have dealt with suicide in any capacity. We talk with Stefa about her family history. Where they came from and how their past played out in her life growing up. Our families are our lives, they teach us values, give us a sense of self, and help us learn how we navigate the world. For better or worse we live with them for many years and their history greatly influences our own.  Stefa's story shows that all of us have the capacity to endure things that we don't think we can live through. Not only that, but we can come out the other side of these repeated difficulties, that seem unbearable, to be a kinder more compassionate person. She is a beautiful example of just that.  

Many people feel embarrassed or ashamed after realizing they had a panic attack because our culture tells us that it's all in our head and that somehow it's our fault. While we have a long way to go in changing our views of this awful disorder we can learn how to control it. Learning to cope with the anxiety our brain creates and how we can take back control is the subject of the this podcast. Bambi suffered from panic disorder and debilitating anxiety and learned how to control the panic before it escalated to a full blown attack.  She is now a brain coach. She describes herself this way on her website : I call myself a "Brain Coach" for anxiety transformation and success acceleration. I teach entrepreneurial women how to leverage brain science, mindset, the human energy body, and the Law of Attraction to dismantle limitation and unleash power, confidence, and momentum.  Check out more of her portraits here : http://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/bambi-on-rewiring-our-brain Take a listen to her fascinating story and learn about the ways she overcame this crippling disease. 

Life plan= Fall in love. Get married. Have a baby. OR.... Attempt to get pregnant and experience many losses over a long period of time. Try alternatives. For months that drag out and turn into years.  There are so many children out there that need homes. But adoption is expensive (though this couple did start down that road) and foster parenting with the hope of adoption is daunting at the very least. Or so that is what we are told. But as this story shows a lot of how things play out may depend on your heart. And your actions. And on the way you treat and respect others.  Listen to Michelle's story for proof of just that. I love a story with a happy ending. And I am so excited to share this uplifting story as the start to our second season of storytelling! And in her own words she wanted to say this about being part of The Gardenia Project:  "I left our session not only feeling beautiful, but heard and empowered that maybe someone will listen and not be ashamed of their story maybe someone will be inspired." - Michelle I hope the same thing, that you will feel inspired by this story. And maybe even share yours. If you are interested go to the Gardenia Project Project Application page (just click on those words to be taken there!)  Jen

Nora's story is heart breaking and powerful. She suffered a huge loss as a teen and spiraled into darkness that wouldn't lift. It lead her to rock bottom. More than once. She hid her feelings and pretended she was fine for many years. She learned the hard way how hiding and stuffing sadness down doesn't work for her and what she needed to do to change the course of her life. She learned to live. It was a long hard road.  Check out the portraits from her portrait session here:  http://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/noranoshame Or click here to be taken to the page where you can fill out a form to be considered for the podcast. Scroll to the bottom of the page.  http://www.jendeanphoto.com/the-gardenia-project/

Kathy is just like you and me. Someone you might see in the line at the grocery store or meet in your networking group. She is married and has two kids and a runs a successful business. That's the stuff we all know about each other. The things that we share with people. What we let people see of us. Then there are the things that we don't share. Kathy decided that she wanted to get brave and share her story about dealing with depression and anxiety. She has dealt with both of those things her whole life.   

So what happens when your child gets diagnosed with an illness that currently isn't curable? How do you deal with that pain, and then learn to cope with it every single day? That is Maura's story. Listen to her story and learn what this illness has taught her and how she copes.  Every time I hear a woman's story I find something I can relate too. My guess is you will too.  To see images from our session together and get contact information for her go to my blog here:  http://www.jendeanphoto.com/blog1/2017/5/2/one-caretakers-strength-a-child-with-the-invisible-illness   If you or someone you know would like to be considered for the project please head over to this page and scroll to the bottom to send me an email.  http://www.jendeanphoto.com/the-gardenia-project/  

The second episode is all about standing up for ourselves. Or rather the times when we don't. What are the repercussions when we stop ourselves from saying what we need to. It's a pretty amazing story. This is the interview that made me realize I had to do a podcast for the project. The story was too compelling and emotional in the telling to be translated and written down to be read. Elizabeth needed to speak her story to others.  "Cold air stung my face as I peered up at the face of Hauyna Potosi (6000m) just barely after midnight. Stars filled the Bolivian sky and a serial glow reflected off the snow.  The silence was peaceful as I assembled my multiple layers, crampons, my climbing gear and harness in order to begin climbing. I had yet to tackle a feat of this nature, and a rush of excitement rushed through my body.  I begin to wonder would I be one to descend victorious, disappointed, or just happy to be alive?" - Elizabeth  When I first heard Elizabeth's story my mouth hung open. Then I immediately teared up and cried as she kept talking. I remembered all the times I didn't stand up for myself. The times I can look back on when I knew I wanted to say something, but just didn't for all the reasons that we don't. And the ways that not speaking up didn't serve me or totally changed me.  Sometimes those choices have to be made fast. Or under duress. I wonder what I would do in her shoes. What would you have done?

The Gardenia Project is a storytelling project for women started by Jen Dean in Portland, Maine. I hope that hearing these stories will inspire people to have more empathy for others, take a stand for what they believe in, and remember how strong they are. And maybe even be compelled to tell their story of something they have been hiding, but feel ready to share. Anna is a wonderful example of how to turn your life around. She tells her story on this first episode.  You can see images from Anna's portrait session with me that go with this podcast, learn more about the project and how to become part of it here: http://www.jendeanphoto.com/the-gardenia-project/