The Internuts Podcast!

Happy New Year, Internuts! Hopefully you're all enjoying a happy and healthy 2014.  On the topic of health, your host Chris managed to blow out a few discs in his back in the first few days of the new year.  As a result you're about to listen to the one and only episode of this podcast recorded while on heavy pain medication.  It's quite something.  Join a drug-addled Chris and guests Ken Swanson and Philip Darrenkamp on a psychedelic journey of discovery!

Season's Greetings!   Hopefully your halls are decked, your trees are trum, and your eggs have been sufficiently nogged!  Like many of you, I've been tremendously busy during the month of December.  So busy, in fact, that I have had no time to properly edit this episode.  DON'T PANIC.  Think of this as the first ever RAW Episode of The Internuts Podcast!  This time around, your imagination is the editor!  Didn't like that last joke?  IMAGINE A FUNNIER ONE!  Offended by that racial epithet?  PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED!  Do you wish this was a Game of Thrones podcast?  USE YOUR BRAIN TO MAKE IT THAT!  Join Thelma Weinstein, Glen Tickle, Sebastian the Mall Santa, Karl and Myrtus Whitman, the disembodied voice of James Brown, and myself as we learn the true meaning of the Winter Solstice.  Happy Holidays, friends, and we'll see you again in 2014! XOXO, Chris

  Happy Belated Thanksgiving, friends! I don't know about you but I am hurting.  Luckily, there is no better cure for your gas pains and stuffing protrusions than a brand new episode of The Internuts Podcast! Joining me this Turkey Day are actor/improvisers Keith Moser and Rachael Lang.  We'll also be enjoying music by Georgia Soul Council. Sit back, undo your belt, mute the football game, and enjoy some comedy chit chat!  Stay safe and we'll seeya back here in December!

Happy Halloween!!!  To celebrate this, the scariest of secular holidays, The Internuts Podcast is proud to present EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER OF "MY IMMORTAL!"  If you're unfamiliar, "My Immortal" is a piece of fan fiction loosely based on the world of Harry Potter.  For the last year and a half, the podcast crew has been performing dramatic readings from this literary masterpiece at the end of each episode.  However, all good things must come to an end.  The timeless tale of Ebony Darkness Dementia Ravenway has concluded.  To everything (Turn Turn Turn) there is a season (Turn Turn Turn).  But we're not here to mourn the passing of "My Immortal." We are here to celebrate its legacy and look towards the future!  Relive the twists, turns, misspellings, and legitimate cries for help that made this fan fiction such a fan favorite on The Internuts Podcast.  Have a safe Halloween, my friends, and meet back here for a new episode in November!

Hello! It's hard to believe but this episode marks the 2nd Anniversary of The Internuts Podcast!!! To celebrate this momentous occasion I've chosen my favorite moments from the past year and stitched them into the clip show you're about to listen to. Thank you very much to the comedians, writers, actors, podcasters, TV personalities, and personal friends who appeared on Season 2 of the show. I owe an extra-special "thank you" to all you nice folks for listening to the podcast each and every month. It's truly amazing how many people from far-flung corners of the world download this silly show. Alright, gang, that's all for now. It's been a hell of a year and I'm sure Season 3 will be even better! Make sure to check back on Halloween to hear a spooktacular special episode featuring Fan Fiction favorite "My Immortal" in its entirety. Until then...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, INTERNUTS!!!

Where has the time gone, my friends? It seems like only yesterday that the summer was laid out in front of us like the roast beef station at an Old Country Buffet. But, like the aforementioned smorgasbord, sometimes too much of a good thing makes us tired and sweaty. Also, gassy. Super gassy. Much like the crimson leaf drops from the maple tree, The Internuts Podcast is about to shed a dearly beloved segment. After months of questionable plotting, suspect story arcs, and piss-poor spelling it's time to say goodbye to the terrible Harry Potter fan fiction "My Immortal." I'd like to say it ends with a bang but, well, you'll see. Join Karl Whitman, Sebastian (the former mall Santa), and myself as we bid adieu to summer (and Dumbledork) and say hello to autumn. Hello autumn!!! Music this month is provided by Good Old War from their self-titled album. You can find them on Facebook, Twitter, and their website. You can also follow this podcast on Twitter at @InternutsChris. Next month is the 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of The Internuts Podcast so make sure to check back at the end of September for a very special episode!

Hi there!  The gorgeous Thelma Weinstein and I are going on vacation in July.  As such, there simply isn't enough time to record and edit a regular episode of the podcast.  FEAR NOT!!!  Instead of skipping a whole month I've put together an extra-special treat for you.  I went back to my roots and recorded a mini-episode of fake commercials and comedy bits.  Think of it as a refreshing palate cleanser.   Enjoy the show and we'll be back in August with another full-length episode featuring THE EPIC CONCLUSION OF THE INTERNUTS FAN FICTION CORNER!!!  Stay cool, stay hydrated, and don't trust men in ice-cream trucks!

Oh, hello.  Welcome to an extraordinarily special episode of The Internuts Podcast!  As you might already know, the lovely and talented Thelma Weinstein and I have gotten engaged!  To celebrate our impending nuptials, Thelma and I sat down a few weeks ago to discuss marriage, wedding planning, and (most importantly) dick pics.  Join us (and a few special call-in guests) and enjoy our love before decades of crippling responsibility turn us into desiccated husks! Music is provided by the phenomenal British funk band The New Mastersounds.  Non-Pennsylvanians can check them out on Twitter.  Residents of The Keystone State can see them up close and personal at The Blockley in Philadelphia on August 15th.  Since we're already plugging things, you may as well follow @InternutsChris on Twitter, too.  All the cool kids are doing it.  Well, 50 or so cool kids are doing it...the rest are Korean Spam Robots.  Keep cool, Internuts, and check back at the end of July for another episode!!! The pixelation has been added.  Everything else is far too real.

Hells bells, it is balmy out there!  Memorial Day has come and gone, ushering out the days of open windows and welcoming expensive air conditioning bills.  Not to worry!  Contrary to Eddie Cochran, there IS a cure for the summertime blues…The Internuts Podcast!  Eddie Cochran doesn't know shit about anything. Listen as I chat with fan favorite Ken Swanson and comedian Mike Logan about the vagaries of zombie sex and the marginal appeal of carnal oil rig casinos.  You can find more of Mike Logan on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Tumblr.  You'll also be hearing lovely music by The Oh Hellos from their album Through the Deep, Dark Valley.  Enjoy the show, my dear Internuts, and come back for more in June! Note: I was a little lazy with the editing this month because I was busy PROPOSING MARRIAGE!!!  POW!!!  Thank you Thelma Weinstein for saying yes and making me the luckiest podcast host in the world!!!

WE DID IT!  As observant listeners know, I have mentioned on the show before that I play guitar in a band.  Well, now you can actually listen to us!  It is my absolute pleasure to announce the release of Forty Stories High, the debut album by Great Big House.  Please join the band and some special guests as we chat about the album, listen to our exploits from Front Porch Fest in VA, and (most importantly) hear some of our music!  Please enjoy the podcast and make sure to buy Forty Stories High, available on iTunes!

Hi there, intrepid listener!  This month we're celebrating the circle of life on The Internuts Podcast.  Join me as I talk to returning guest Philip Darrenkamp about bringing life into the world.  I also talk with taxidermist Beth Beverly about turning a goat into a rug.  Enjoy! Beth Beverly can be seen on AMC's Immortalized every Thursday at 11/10c.

Well, it's February you guys.  Let's not dwell on it.  February is a poop month.  The important thing to remember is that it's almost over and March is practically springtime!  Lucky for you, we've put together the perfect cure for the dark, awful, gray month that you're stuck inside.  It's episode 17 of The Internuts Podcast!  Join Thelma Weinstein, Jim Conrad, and myself as we kick it hard and fight the dark months together with chit-chat!  Come back in March for an extra-special, celebrity-filled new show!!!

Hello! The first month of 2013 is in the books and – let's be honest – you have already abandoned your New Year's resolution. DON'T WORRY! There is one spot on the internet where your fat, lazy, drunk, chain-smoking ass won't be judged! No, not Twitter. It's right here at The Internuts Podcast! Join returning guest Ken Swanson, new friend Milo Shaft, comedian Carolyn Busa, and I as we ring in the New Year and journey together to the darkest corners of the internet. Carolyn Busa has performed at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival and will be performing at the Women in Comedy Festival this March. She is also the co-host of Laughs on Fairmount in Philadelphia. Music this month is by Dr. Dog. Pick up their latest album, Be the Void, wherever quality goods are purchased. Finally, make sure to watch friend of the podcast Beth Beverly on Immortalized (Thursdays at 10 on AMC). That's it! Thanks for listening, friends, and come back in February for more of The Internuts Podcast!

It's a brand new year so Thelma and I are presenting a very special podcast for your listening enjoyment.  Get ready for episode 5 of TV Craps!  Or should I say Movie Craps?!?  Yes, I should say that!  IT IS MORE ACCURATE!!!  Let's back up a little.  Thelma and I are fairly well-versed in pop cultural ephemera but we still have a few movies that we've just never gotten around to watching together.  For months, I've been trying to convince Thelma to watch The Lord of the Rings with me.  Thelma agreed to this proposition if I agreed to watch Twilight with her.  Quid pro quo! And just like that, a podcast was born!  Listen in as Thelma Weinstein and I subject each other to some of our favorite genre fare.   Gender roles will be blurred!  Patience will be tested!  Hobbits and vampires…living together…mass hysteria! Enjoy and we'll be back to talk TV next month. Happy New Year, Internet Friends! Note: The audio is a little funky on this one.  Sorry about that.  But look on the bright side, it's free!

If you are reading this hastily written podcast synopsis it means that the Mayans were wrong and the world continues to exist (at least until the iPhones become sentient)! What a relief! What better way to celebrate your continued residence upon this mortal coil then by listening to an amiable comedy podcast! Join Thelma Weinstein, Jim Conrad, writer/comedian Glen Tickle, and myself as we reminisce upon holidays past in a “splendidly appointed” Vermont cabin. Will some surprise guests drop by?!? Will anyone have a baby while recording the show?!?  Will there be an astounding number of ocean puns?!?  Listen to find out!  Happy Holidays, my dear internet friends! I'll meet you again in 2013! Thank you to all my guests, both recent and over the course of 2012. Thank you to Kevin MacLeod for composing our wonderful theme music and performing the Christmas tunes used in this episode. Thank you to She and Him for allowing the use of their songs from A Very She and Him Christmas. Finally, make sure to look for friend of the show Beth Beverly on AMC's Immortalized coming in February. That's the last shameless plug of the calendar year! Huzzah!!! UPDATE: Since recording the show, Jim and his lovely wife welcomed a happy and healthy new baby to the Conrad family!  Congrats, you crazy kids!

And we're baaaaccccckkkkk!  After taking a month off to recharge the ol' podcast batteries it's a pleasure to be back in your earholes!  To celebrate the triumphant return of the show, I gathered some of my favorite guests in my dining room where we chatted amiably while getting quite drunk on artisanal beer.  Join Thelma Weinstein, Karl Whitman, Whiskers McTheHobo, and I as we descend into hoppy madness! Talking points include: the Woodstock '94 of Presidents, RIP Morgan Freeman, The Big Bertha Ball, chicken veal, boob art, the miniscus, COPS, porkchops and dick and applesauce, female anatomy, the dirty side of baked goods, bathroom feng shui, sad poems, river rats, Mr. Catsaphone, wine and bear parties, shiny paper, guiding Sparkles, and The Internuts Fan Fiction Corner! Special thanks to all the guests for stopping by Internuts Headquarters to record in person for a change.  Thanks to Or, the Whale for the use of their wonderful music.  Thanks to Kevin MacLeod for composing our various theme songs.  Finally, there is some BIG EXCITING NEWS to share!!!  Friend of the show and past guest, Beth Beverly of Diamond Tooth Taxidermy, will be prominently featured on the upcoming AMC show Immortalized.  Congratulations to Beth and make sure to tune in to AMC on Thursday, Feb. 14 at 9:30/8:30c!  I'm pretty sure that means Beth gets a key to a locked room containing the scripts for the last season of Breaking Bad.  Showbiz!!!  Anyhow, congrats again Beth!  That's it for now, friends, seeya back here in December for TV Craps! and a very special holiday episode of The Internuts Podcast!

Hello, valued listener!  After a relaxing hiatus, Thelma and I are back in the saddle (gross) and ready to talk about TV shows while drinking! How did the world keep turning without us?!?  This month, we're barely paying attention to Rise of the Zombies on the SyFy channel.  Luckily, we talk about a bunch of our favorite shows while we're distracted.  I hope you enjoy the show and check back in for episode 14 of The Internuts Podcast at the end of the month! Talking points include: Murder shows, Face Off, Hot Set, 666 Park Avenue, Revolution, Last Resort, Breaking Amish, The Office, Parks and Recreation, American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, and The Wire. Spoiler Alert: We discuss major plot points from Parks and Rec, American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, and Season 1 of The Wire. For your convenience, all the spoilery talk is at the end of the show.  Please listen carefully.

It's a celebration, bitches!  September 22nd marked the 1 year anniversary of The Internuts Podcast!  In our first year we've released 12 monthly episodes (not counting bonus episodes OR our sister podcast, TV Craps!).  That's 12 hours of pure listening pleasure!  Do you know what else was 12 hours long?  The first season of M*A*S*H.  That's right…mathematically, this show is as good as M*A*S*H.  Suck it, Alan Alda!  To illustrate just how long 12 hours is: you can get in your car in New York City, hit play on episode one, and you won't hear silence until you reach Detroit.  Try it for yourself!* *DO NOT ACTUALLY GO TO DETROIT! To commemorate this special occasion, I've compiled a clip show that features some of my very favorite moments from the first year of the show.  If some of the clips are new to you, take some time to browse our back catalog of episodes.  Subscribe to the show through iTunes and leave us a review.  Tell a friend to listen. The Internuts Podcast is also down with youth culture because we have a Twitter account now!  Follow @InternutsChris to get updates, learn about guests, and say hello! Making this show isn't easy.  Each month I book guests, search out awful things on the internet, talk with record companies, and whittle down hours and hours of rambling audio.  I would like to thank my amazingly patient girlfriend for sharing me with a laptop computer for the past year.  I couldn't have done it without you, babycakes!  Thank you to Kevin MacLeod for composing our various theme songs. Thank you to The Wayside Shakeup, Crooked Still, and Lettuce for sharing their music on the show.  I'd also like to thank all of my friends (old and new) who appeared on the podcast.  Without brilliantly funny guests like you I would be talking to myself each month like a lunatic.  Finally, THANK YOU LISTENERS!  I can't believe how many people listen to this show.  It's absolutely crazy but I'm not complaining.  You guys are the best.  Please keep listening and tell your friends!  There will be no new podcasts in October while I celebrate this milestone by lying on the couch for a full month and not recording any of the words I say.  Check back in November for brand new episodes of TV Craps! and The Internuts Podcast!  Enjoy the fall weather, friends, and thank you for listening!

The nights are getting colder.  The children are back in school.  The teachers are drinking in private again.  It can only mean one thing...the summer is coming to a close.  But fear not!  The Internuts Podcast is here with the audio equivalent of a Pumpkin Spice Latte!  Join me, Ken Swanson, and comedians Glen Tickle and Brian Six as we stare into the inky black hole at the heart of the internet.  Enjoy! Talking points include: $7 vodka, head janitors, chiming in, full babies, America's greatest rivalry, world's worst, growing into your sousaphone, golf claps, Anne, incurable lady tingles, the truth about the Lost Boys, Sliders, the most terrifying game of Super Mario Bros, horse camp, Double Superman, Cal Ripken's secret, Oxiclean, bird parts, AND The Internuts Fan Fiction Corner! Make sure to keep up with Glen through Facebook, Twitter, and his website.  And check in with Brian on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube.  Ken does not own a computer, nor does he have the finger dexterity to properly manipulate the keyboard.  Finally, a huge thank you to one of my favorite bands, Lettuce, for the use of their music.  Buy their latest album, FLY, wherever you buy good albums.  While you're at it, go ahead and buy all their records.  That's it for this month, Internuts, I'll see you back here in September for our anniversary show!  Ciao!

Hello America!  Despite jet lag and serious illness, Thelma and I are back with Episode 3 of TV Craps!  Were the Olympics the most important thing on TV for the last few weeks?  Yes.  Do we talk about the Olympics?  Not really.  Listen as we discuss everything from left handed JO's to True Blood!  See ya back here at the end of the month for The Internuts Podcast! PS - We save discussion of True Blood, The Newsroom, and Breaking Bad for the tail end of the show so don't worry about spoilers unless we warn you!