Working Daughter

Nancy Vasta is the Vice President of Consumer Health Engagement at Cigna and is the strategy lead for all of Cigna’s US customer-facing clinics. She is focused on redefining how individuals engage with their health in an evolving delivery system and those individuals, of course, include caregivers. In this episode, Nancy shares what Cigna is doing during COVID-19 to help better support their people and caregivers.   Key Takeaways: [2:35] How does Cigna support caregivers? [4:10] The act of caregiving can make someone sick. So, it ends up that they have higher medical costs and twice the rate of chronic disease. [8:10] SHRM has reported that there are fewer caregiving benefits in the workplace, but is that true? What has Nancy personally seen? [10:20] How is Cigna supporting their caregivers during COVID-19? [14:15] Cigna as an employer practices what they preach and helped Nancy through a challenging time when her mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. [15:15] This podcast is sponsored by Senior Link! [17:50] Never before has the health of your workforce been more important. [18:15] The whole nation is grieving right now. [21:55] Nancy has seen an increase in tele-health happening to help people through some of their medical issues. [25:45] As everyone moves to a work-from-home environment, Nancy is seeing a lot of stress within the household. There’s a lot to manage under one roof. [28:00] What other trends is Nancy seeing right now for the working caregiver?   Mentioned in This Episode: Workingdaughter.com SeniorLink.com Call SeniorLink at: 1-866-797-2333. Cigna.com Shrm.org  

Michelle Woodbrey is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer for 2Sisters Senior Living Advisors. She checks in to discuss how she is holding up currently during the pandemic as she now finds herself as a working mother while also homeschooling her daughter and unable to visit her aging parents. Michelle’s father needed extra care due to his Parkinson's Disease, but that is now off the table as both he and her mother stay at home in their senior living facility.   Key Takeaways: [2:15] What's it like being a working daughter in the industry? [3:35] There are six active cases at her father’s senior living facility. They are in lockdown and aren’t allowed to leave the house. [5:15] It’s very hard right now because Michelle feels helpless and unable to help her parents. [7:25] Michelle’s mother and father remember when polio was a problem. They understand the periods of scarcity because they’ve lived through it. [9:15] Michelle’s father needs extra care because of his Parkinson's Disease and Michelle was trying to find ways to help alleviate the burden on her mom, but that’s all off the table now. [12:40] The CDC recommends getting a 30-month supply in medication, but Michelle hasn’t been able to get this at all. On top of that, her insurance just won’t pay for it. [15:50] Michelle’s daughter currently has unrestricted screen time because Michelle has too much on her plate. She wants to be present for her daughter, but can’t right now. [18:35] This podcast is sponsored by Senior Link! [19:55] What will change in senior living when we get to the other side of this? [25:00] Michelle is hopeful for the future. [30:45] The screening to get into a senior living facility will be harder. Before, you needed to have a physician's order form, but now they’re doing more screening to keep their community safe.   Mentioned in This Episode: Workingdaughter.com SeniorLink.com 2sisters-sla.com Michelle Woodbrey  

Katie Tardiff is passionate about helping individuals with complex needs live at home for as long as they can. Katie is a Gerontological Nursing Practitioner with over 14 years of experience providing clinical care. She is also the Vice President of Clinical Services for Seniorlink, where she leads efforts that result in the improved quality of life within caregiver homes. In this episode, she shares how caregivers can adapt to these trying times as everyone takes precautions towards limiting the spread of the Coronavirus. Key Takeaways: [1:45] What has Katie’s day-to-day been like since the COVID-19 outbreak? [6:35] A large part of society is not aware of how much care is provided by family members. Caregivers are working 24/7 right now and are getting burned out. [7:05] How is Katie helping caregivers with their self-care? [11:05] A lot of caregivers are cutting back services to limit the exposure of the virus into their home. What are some good strategies they can use to better the quality of care? [14:45] So many caregivers are thrust into caregiving and have no formal caregiving skills. This is why services like Seniorlink are needed more than ever right now. [15:20] A word from our sponsor, Seniorlink. [16:40] What are some of the best ways to use Seniorlink? [19:55] What should caregivers do if the person they’re caring for falls? [21:55] Despite these uncertain times, seek emergency services if you need them. [25:10] Be prepared in the event of an emergency. Don’t let surprises get the best of you. [27:40] How can caregivers better manage their parent's anxiety? [30:15] Some caregivers feel like they’re failing on all fronts right now, what advice does Katie have for them? [33:18] Integrate self-care into your life. Do whatever you need to do (in a healthy way) to get through the day. Mentioned in This Episode: Workingdaughter.com 13 Mantras for Working Daughters  Seniorlink.com

Ellen Minor is frightened that her elderly father who lives with her will fall and she will not be able to have paramedics come and help him up. She is being what her father thinks is ‘too bossy’ but that’s because she cannot take any risks in having him become infected with coronavirus. Amy Carrier also has an aging parent in her home. She has to decide whether or not to bring in outside help. If she doesn’t, then she does not see a realistic way to care for her mother and get her job done. It’s a difficult choice because Amy understands the risks involved, but if she can’t work, then she cannot support her mother.   Veronica Karwoski has been caring for her mother remotely. She has felt a lot of guilt for not being able to bring her mother into her home, but her house is not set up for the extra care her mother would need. They live in the same city, but Veronica still has to exercise caution during the pandemic. Finally, Karen Purze also cares for a parent remotely. Her mother is in a local nursing facility that is not allowing any visitors at this time. Karen desperately wanted to be able to say goodbye to her mother before the lockdown happened and is now trying to navigate this new environment we’re in.   Key Takeaways: [2:20] We first hear Ellen Minor’s story, who is a teacher. [5:35] Ellen has been taking care of her father for five years and now she is working from home full-time. How has she been managing everything? [7:30] Ellen’s biggest fear right now is having him go to the hospital. [10:15] Her dad thinks she’s too bossy. Ellen is so stern because the consequences right now are just too dire and she doesn’t want to risk anything. [10:35] Next, we hear about Amy Carrier’s story. She is a foundation director with a long-distance spouse. [15:00] Amy is worried that the additional support she is getting will expose her mother to the virus. [16:30] Working daughters are having to make uncomfortable sacrifices between getting the care needed vs. exposing their parents to the virus. [17:15] This podcast is sponsored by Seniorlink.com. [18:55] Veronica Karwaski shares her story on how she’s caring for her mother remotely. [20:30] Veronica feels very guilty that her mother couldn’t come and stay with her. Her apartment is not set up correctly to help her. [23:15] We hear Karen Purze’s story on how she’s caring for her mother remotely. [25:35] Karen was upset because the nursing facility was not well equipped with notifying family members. [29:25] Karen hopes more people will understand what it’s like to be a caregiver because of this pandemic and there will be more support in the future. Isolation is not a new thing for caregivers.   Mentioned in This Episode: Workingdaughter.com Seniorlink.com Harvard Business Review: Balancing Work and Elder Care Through the Coronavirus Crisis Karen Purze

Dr. Bill Haley is a Professor at the School of Aging Studies at the University of South Florida. With his collaborative work with Dr. David Roth of Johns Hopkins University, they have discovered some new things about caregivers that might surprise you. In this week’s episode, Dr. Haley breaks down their research and underlines some of the positive results of caregiving.   Key Takeaways: [2:35] Many caregivers experience positives and negatives simultaneously in their caregiving journey. [6:00] After interviewing/tracking 30,000+ people, Dr. Haley has discovered that under 20% of the caregivers in that people group are highly strained and stressed. [8:10] Dr. Haley breaks down how the study is conducted and their 30,000+ random population sample size. [10:55] In Dr. Haley’s sample size, he is looking at all types of people, including caregivers, and he is able to see that not everyone is reaching out for help and not everyone is stressed/depressed about their caregiving situation. [11:35] People generally think of caregiving as overwhelming, but Dr. Haley has discovered some surprising results about caregivers. [13:30] How does someone measure lower or higher mortality? [16:45] Caregiving is a very normal thing for people to do. [18:00] What are some of the positive aspects of caregiving? [21:00] Dr. Haley also answers some criticism/concerns he has received from caregiver advocacy groups.   Mentioned in This Episode: Dr. William Haley Faculty Bio Dr. David Roth Faculty Bio The Dr. Steven Zarit Burden Scale Higher mortality risk in caregiving -1999 paper Lower mortality risk in caregiving - 2015 paper Order the Working Daughter book

Jennifer Levin is a millennial and was faced with the shocking news at 32; she had to put her father in a nursing facility because of his Parkinson's disease. At the time, she was heavily focused on her career and living in a different state than her father. sShe felt terribly alone and isolated during that time because none of her peers could relate. Jennifer shares her experience on what it was like caring for her father as a millennial. when her career was just starting to blossom.   Key Takeaways: [1:05] Jennifer was 32 when she realized her father’s illness was more serious than what she thought it was. [7:05] How do the experiences of a millenial caregiver differ from somebody who is a bit older? [10:25] It becomes really hard to care for someone when you are still single and dating, which a lot of millennials still are. [11:15] It was tough for Jennifer because her career was just launching and she just started living independently (no roommates) when she found out her father needed extra care. [18:45] At work, Jennifer didn’t really tell work about her caregiving status. How did Jennifer handle her work and life responsibilities? [24:40] Millennials aren’t talking about elder care, so Jennifer felt very alone and isolated in her journey when her father was sick. [29:40] Because social media portrays a certain level of ‘life’s perfect’ it was hard for Jennifer to find other people in her situation. This is why she created The Caregivers Collective so that people can support each other. [32:15] Jennifer has noticed that millennial caregivers turn their knowledge into a career because they don’t want to let their resources go to waste and have people go through the same thing they went through. [36:20] When Jennifer was going through this journey, work didn't feel like a priority anymore and it made her realize what was really important in her life. [42:15] What are the upsides to being a younger caregiver? [43:35] How can we better support millennial caregivers?   Mentioned in This Episode: Thecaregiverscollective.com I Became My Father’s Parent at 32 The Working Daughter book

Anne Ellet, with Memory Care Support,  is a Nurse Practitioner that specializes in Dementia Care. She has seen a wide variety of care facilities that do not allow for patients to express their individual selves and their quality of health is reduced because of it. Simple things like allowing a person to go outside to eat can make a big difference in their quality of life, yet facilities are too afraid to take chances. Ann describes her work with memory care and how we can develop better systems to let those who suffer from dementia prosper in their living environment.   Key Takeaways: [1:15] What is memory care? [5:35] Unfortunately, it’s become acceptable for patients to sit in wheelchairs inside the house all day because it means they won’t get hurt. However, their quality of life suffers greatly. [9:40] People fall inside the house all the time, that shouldn’t be the reason why you limit everybody from going outside. [13:00] The elderly who suffer from dementia are very powerless people and it’s become the standard of care to lock them away and isolate them. [15:15] There is also a lot of shame and embarrassment for the children when it comes to taking a parent outside with dementia. [19:20] Find a support group, whether in person or online, to help you through the tough days. [21:05] How do you honor the person as they go through dementia? [24:25] What are the costs of living in a greenhouse home? [27:10] Assisted living facilities spend money on extravagant things that even the residents aren’t allowed to use..yet they’re the ones paying for it. What’s the point of that? [30:15] People who are suffering from dementia are also denied medical treatments they should have due to doctor biases. [32:30] How can more people have access to better memory care? [38:25] Where is the right balance between keeping your parent safe and keeping them well stimulated?   Mentioned in This Episode:   Memory Care Support, LLC The Working Daughter book

Helen Adeosun is the Co-Founder and CEO of CareAcademy, a training center that provides in-home caregivers the education they need to provide excellent care.  On today’s episode, Helen discusses where the culture of caregiving is headed and how adult children can better care for their aging parents as they begin to need extra help.   Key Takeaways: [1:00] How did Helen get started in care? [3:45] There is a lot of gray area in the caregiving world. [9:45] Child care is often anticipated and planned for. Elderly care hasn’t been planned and thought through as much. [13:20] There’s a lot of choices for adult care and the options can overwhelm family members. [15:35] Helen breaks down some of the options available to family members. [22:00] Family caregivers feel so guilty for not doing enough, but don’t beat yourself up! There is no standard system in place for you to follow. [25:15] Why is aging at home the best? [33:50] What kinds of facilities does Helen look for in elderly care? [35:15] What’s Helen’s vision for the future? [40:45] There is a shortage of professional caregivers. Helen explains a bit more about what’s happening in the industry. [46:55] When politics are local and personal, people care much more and pay attention!   Mentioned in This Episode: Careacademy.com Helen on LinkedIn Joinpapa.com

Ilana Berger works for an organization called Hand in Hand and its mission is to provide fair wages and benefits to domestic workers who help out in your home. If you hire a domestic worker, even if it is to care for your aging parents or your young children, you are an employer! This means you have the ability to provide support and care to the people who helped you the most! Find out on this week’s episode, how you can help make a difference!   Key Takeaways: [1:10] How did Hand in Hand get started? [3:25] Why are domestic workers treated so poorly? [5:45] Domestic workers have been treated like slaves in this modern world and the Domestic Employers Alliance aims to bring these workers a voice and give them the rights they deserve. [7:00] People are starting to wake up and notice the underlying racism that goes on in this country and they’re not happy about it, and are actively fighting against it. [8:50] All of us need support. [10:50] People are not getting fairly compensated for those who do the most important job; care for our family members. [11:00] How can we be there for our caregivers? [15:00] It’s important for organizations like Hand in Hand to support other unions in the care sector to fight for quality care at an affordable price. [19:15] There are so many benefits to attracting more people into the caregiving field that will help everybody, especially when we hit an aging boom. [23:15] If you hire domestic help, you are an employer! This means you can make a difference too! [27:15] On the Fair Care Pledge website, it outlines several things you can do to be a good employer today and how you can help these amazing workers! [29:15] It’s never too late to start! [32:00] Here are some of the ways you can support your caregivers.   Mentioned in This Episode: Domesticemployers.org Caringacross.org Faircarepledge.com Myalia.org

Adrienne M. Penta is a Managing Director, as well as the executive director of the Brown Brothers Harriman Center for Women & Wealth at Brown Brothers Harriman. As more women are contributing substantially to the workforce, that also means that there is a lot more stress for them to bear when a loved one gets sick and they’re faced with the decision to quit their job to be a full-time caregiver. On this week’s show, Adrienne shares what a financial advisor can do for you during this emotional time and how they can set you and your family up for success.   Key Takeaways: [1:15] What is the Center for Women & Wealth about? [2:45] Women are the primary breadwinners in 40% of all US households and they’re starting companies at 1.5x the national average. [3:15] 44% of women do not have a financial advisor and 51% of high net worth women say that their advisors don’t understand them. [4:15] The average caregiver is a woman in her late 40s and she has a parent over the age of 65 and at least one child under the age of 18. They are getting squeezed. [5:15] How does caregiving affect the work that Adrienne does for women? [5:40] 18% of professional women who take 3 or more years off on average lose 18% of their former earning power, and that percentage can increase to 40%. [9:55] Adrienne emphasizes the importance of taking some time off, whether it be for a few days or for a week, to discuss with experts on what to do next and how to accommodate your new responsibilities during a very emotional time in your life. You need a clear head. [12:00] Caregivers don’t have advisors or professional support. So, if you’re going to quit your job, at least get yourself some financial support. [13:35] Adrienne talks about the retirement gap for women. [15:25] Women have to save 18% of their salaries and men only have to save about 10%. [18:40] What should women be aware of as they plan and build their wealth? [20:40] 61% of millennial women say they leave the investing decisions to their husbands. [22:25] The whole family needs to be at the table when it comes to making financial decisions about the family’s future.   Mentioned in This Episode: Bbh.com Adrienne on LinkedIn  

Chris MacLellan was with his partner Richard for 11 years before Richard passed away from esophagus cancer. Richard was originally given only 3-4 months to live, but ended up surpassing that and living for three more years. Chris shares his experience and story about what it was like caring for his partner and why the quality of healthcare may be different for a hetrosexual couple. Theirs is a love story.   Key Takeaways: [0:55] Chris’s partner, Richard, was diagnosed with esophagus cancer. [4:00] Chris made a conscious decision to not tell Richard he only had 3-4 months to live. [10:20] It’s important to share each other’s caregiving story, no matter how painful it might be. Your story helps others. [12:15] When Chris and Richard were together, marriage equality was not recognized. So Chris had to take lawyer notes around with him to make sure he was getting the right treatment. [13:25] Unfortunately, Chris did experience discrimination in patient care. [18:40] After Richard passed, Chris made a lot of mistakes in an attempt to heal. [20:45] Chris and Richard had a big fight six weeks before he passed. Fights happen to everybody, even when you’re caregiving. [22:45] Quality care for LGBT adults over the age of 50 lags behind straight adults in the same age range. Why is that? [26:35] We should all be able to care for our loved one with ease no matter our sexual orientation. [30:25] Chris is just one of millions of examples out there of people who have experienced hardship with the caregiving process. Share your story. [30:55] What did Chris wish he learned sooner about the process? [34:05] It was the greatest experience of Chris’s life being able to take care of Richard.   Mentioned in This Episode: TheWholeCareNetwork.com Sun-Sentinel: A new beginning: Navigating the challenges of moving on UW study finds LGBTQ older adults in Seattle/King County face higher health risks The Working Daughter book

Joseph Fuller is a Professor of Management Practice in General Management at Harvard Business School and he co-leads one of the school’s initiatives, Managing the Future of Work. He is the co-author of a recent Harvard study that tackles how and why employers should invest in a culture of care. On today’s episode, Dr. Fuller explains how a care culture is directly related to the future of work, and what companies need to be aware of when providing benefits to their employees.   Key Takeaways: [1:30] How should people think about ‘the future of work’? [3:25] Is the workforce setup accordingly to sustain a higher influx of qualified women professionals? [4:55] How did the future of work-study transition into the caregiving topic? [14:00] The benefits that are often offered at companies aren’t always the benefits that employees want or need. [17:20] Men are very reluctant to use company benefits because they don’t want to be seen as lazy. [22:00] Companies don’t really want to know how many of their work staff is caring for an elder or a loved one with a disability. It comes down to it being a legal issue. [30:00] What is the likeliness of an employee leaving work voluntarily because they weren’t able to manage work and life? [34:55] It boils down to company culture where employees feel comfortable asking for flexible hours or asking to work at home a couple days a week. [39:10] What is Dr. Fuller hopeful for in the future?   Mentioned in This Episode: The Caring Company: How Employers Can Cut Costs And Boost Productivity By Helping Employees Manage Caregiving Needs The Working Daughter book

Today’s episode features two working sons and showcases the unique challenges male family caregivers face. Zack Demopoulos is the host of the Raisins Rents podcast and shares his story as a working son caring for his Greek parents. Josh Lamont is the founder of JRL Strategies and shares his story on the frustrations of not knowing about both state and non-profit programs that could have helped his aging veteran father earlier.   Key Takeaways: [1:25] When Zack’s father got sick, he had no idea what to do. He was completely lost in this process. [2:30] Zack’s parents are greek immigrants and the service he hired to help them was so rude and disrespectful that his mother had a hard time even considering help again after she fired them. [7:00] Zack runs his own business and can take time off to go visit and take care of mom. People think it’s easy because he has a flexible schedule, but it’s not. When he leaves, his business suffers. [9:15] Zack believes childcare is well-covered topic in the corporate world, but the topic of eldercare is not. [10:45] What kind of challenges do men in caregiving face? [14:40] Zack felt so guilty at first when he was located so far away from his parents. [17:15] What can the women do to support men in caregiving? [18:35] We turn to Josh now to share his story and why his life was changed in 2014. [20:35] When it came to Josh’s mom and her health deteriorating rapidly, he felt he had to blame work for not coming to see her. He was stuck because he didn’t want to face the facts. [21:55] Josh’s father had Parkinson's, and when he finally made it out to see his parents, he noticed his dad was in far worse shape than he thought. [25:00] What kind of challenges did Josh have when it came to caring for his father? [29:15] How did Josh balance work and caring for his father? [32:10] Josh found out his father was in debt and that hugely impacted his finances as well. [39:15] Through a Vietnam veteran’s program, Josh was able to get the financial aid he needed to help care for his father. [40:00] Really look into the types of benefits you could receive from both the state or non-profit organizations!   Mentioned in This Episode: Raisingparentspodcast.com Jrlstrategies.com Working Daughter book

Brigid Schulte is the Director of the Better Life Lab at New America. She is also  a journalist and best-selling author. On today’s episode, Brigid sheds light on the millions of me who are caretakers,  the differences in how men and women approach care, and thoughts on working sons dealing with elder care.   Key Takeaways: [1:25] Women do about twice the amount of childcare than men are. They are still seen as the primary caregiver. [3:50] More men are doing more hands-on care for their elderly parents as well as handling more of their parents’ finances. [6:15] When men go into nursing fields, they also get paid more money than their female counterparts. [9:45] Even men see the definition of the word ‘caregiving’ completely differently compared to women. [14:15] Our demographics have completely changed over the years. There is no one within the family that’s living full time at home to care for the parents. People are working and they’ve got active lives. [17:00] By changing policy and by making it more acceptable for men to be dads or to take leave from work to focus on family life, will our society and gender equality improve as a whole? [20:35] We haven’t really figured out a way to measure what is good and effective work. [27:25] What other barriers are men faced with when giving care? [33:00] The Working Daughter book is now available for pre-order!   Mentioned in This Episode: Brigidschulte.com Newamerica.org/better-life-lab The Working Daughter book

Teepa Snow is an occupational therapist with 40 years of clinical practice experience and is one of the world’s leading educators on dementia. She founded Positive Approach to help provide dementia care training, services, and products around the world. On today’s episode, Teepa sheds some light on how to make dementia care more manageable for the working daughter.    Key Takeaways: [1:10] It’s so hard to find the right resources for people who are taking care of elderly parents with dementia. [2:40] What does Teepa do and how does she help her clients? [8:25] Families are falling apart because they sit in denial for too long or they underestimate the situation and take on more responsibility than they can handle. [10:50] If you didn’t have a great relationship with your family in the first place, going to them for support might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. [14:00] Where, or even who, do you go to for help first? [19:15] It’s important to plan for the future as soon as you see the signs as this disease can last up to 15-20 years. [30:25] Sometimes you have to choose between being the daughter vs. being the caregiver. This is why it’s so, so important to get support. [32:15] Unfortunately, if you left off on bad terms, becoming their caregiver will not help fix the past. [34:05] We don’t have to take on things that aren’t a good match for us. [38:25] We have more child care guidelines than we do with elderly care and this leaves a lot of people feeling lost. [41:25] 1 in 2 women after the age of 80 will be taking care of somebody. That’s just the reality. [43:50] While this is all happening, remember, who is taking care of you? Find someone in your corner than can help keep track of your mental wellbeing.   Mentioned in This Episode: Teepasnow.com Pre-order the Working Daughter book

Today we feature two first-generation working daughters. Phyllis Myung is a first generation Korean American and she shares her struggles with caring for an elderly parent with dementia. Our second working daughter is Shaista Kazmi, who was not only expected to care for her aging mother-in-law, but also her elderly father at the same time. Find out more about their insights and stories on this week’s episode.   Key Takeaways: [:05] A quick word from our sponsor — Wellthy.com. [:25] Korean families know that their children are their retirement plan, this is why it’s so important to have more than one child. [1:25] Phyllis shares a little bit about her family history. [5:55] There was a cultural expectation that you take care of your grandparents. You honor them, you respect them, and you help them. [6:35] Phyllis’s father always emphasised the importance to his children about keeping the Korean language. He called it the ‘heart language’. [8:00] Phyllis’s father, who recently passed away, suffered from dementia and he did not remember any English. [12:25] Phyllis shares some of her thoughts about how the U.S. handles elder care. [14:45] A message from Lindsey, the CEO of Wellthy.com. [15:40] Shaista shares her story about what it was like taking care of her elderly mother-in-law as a working parent. [18:10] In Pakistani and Indian culture, the son takes in the aging parents and his wife is expected to care for them. [18:45] Shaista’s father was also sick during this time.   Mentioned in This Episode: Sponsored by Wellthy.com Apnagharhomecare.com Phyllis’s blog  

Working Daughter is a show about caregiving, working, and doing both at the same time. Host Liz O’Donnell gives voice to the millions of family caregivers juggling eldercare, career and life, telling their stories and answering their questions.