Podcasts about deveikut

The meditation featured in this episode originally took place during the IJS Daily Online Meditation Sit on July 17, 2024. To join these FREE daily meditations live, sign up here. Visit jewishspirituality.org to learn more about the Institute for Jewish Spirituality.

Explaining the Wisdom of Harav Yehuda Amital zt"l (Part 11), by Rav Moshe Taragin A "Pintele Yid" or a "Poshete Yid"; Deveikut with Simple Jews; Grafting Trees; Don't Overhype Expectations; Inside Out; The Honesty to Say "I Don't Know"

This week's parasha discusses one of the Mitzvot in the Torah, V'Halachta B'Derachav/Go in the ways of God . The pasuk says that our responsibility is to: לְאַהֲבָ֞ה אֶת־ה׳ אֱלֹהֵיכֶ֛ם לָלֶ֥כֶת בְּכׇל־דְּרָכָ֖יו וּלְדׇבְקָה־בֽוֹ׃ Love Hashem, your God, Go in all His ways and Cleave to Him. What does that mean exactly? The Pele Yoetz (and I'm sure many others) says that people love people whom they look up to. They love their role models, and because they they look up to them and love them, they want to be like them, whomever they might be. Out in the world, people look up to sports stars and singers. They want to be like them, they want to have hairstyles like them, they talk like them and act like them… because they love them. And because they love them, they want be like them. Our job is to love Hashem our God . He's the One that we love. He's our role model. He's the one we look up to. And that's why it says, Lalechet B'chol Drachav/ I want to be like Him. What does it mean to be like Him? Rashi says Hu Rachum/He is merciful, so you should be merciful. Hu Gomel Hassadim/He does acts of kindness, so you do acts of kindness. Our entire approach to Hessed comes, not just from a humanistic approach, but rather, from wanting to be like God. Our Hessed comes from our love of God. Avraham Avinu is called Avraham Ahavi/ Avraham, the one that loves God . And Abraham is the one that does hessed. Rav Wolbe says that it's not a coincidence that Avraham Avinu's Emuna and knowledge of God brought him to Hessed, because it was his understanding of God and his love of God that made him want to be like God. And so, he went in the ways of God. Abraham Avinu went in the ways of God . That is what is says, describing Avraham Avinu. That is the fundamental of our Ahavat Habriot/ Our love for our fellow man. It comes from our emulating God. There are two additional words in the pasuk: L'Davka Bo/to cleave to Him . This doesn't seem to fit in. Rashi asks: How can we cleave to God? God is a fire! Rather, he explains that it means to connect ourselves to students and to scholars, and Hashem will consider that as if we've cleaved to Him. The Siftei Hachamim explains the connection between the two: By cleaving to Talmidei Hachamim , you will become Rachum/merciful and a Gomel Hessed/doer of kindness. This is because the Talmid Hacham is supposed to be the one who emulates God, through his learning. The best way to become like God is is to know God's ways, and you know God's ways by learning His Torah. That's why it says, VeAhavta Et Hashem's Elokecha/Love Hashem your God and right after that it says, that …. these words should be on your heart. The Torah tells us the ways of God, so by learning Torah, and knowing the ways of God, you can emulate God. But what if I can't? What if I'm not able to? Then by cleaving to Talmedei Hachamim, I'll be able to emulate God. And what gives the Talmedei Hachamim their Deveikut is by clinging to the Torah. That's the way they connect. For those of us that can't necessarily do that, we're able to use these great rabbis as role models. That's why we love telling stories about Gedolim .. Great people are people that are Rachum and Gomel Hessed . We've said many times that the definition of a Gadol/Great person is someone that helps people who are smaller than him. So great people are people that have the ways of God, and emulate God. And if I can't go directly to God, I'll emulate those great people that emulate God. Our entire hessed system is based on emulating God, or emulating people that emulate God. What a beautiful lesson, from this week's Parasha (Perek יא ,pasuk כב with Rashi). Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.

Series: Be'erot, Love & Relationship with God. Synopsis:  Opening to the awareness of need, and the ability to find what is good as a connecting point. Man and woman as ezer knegdo, being one with the possibility of being separate beings. And the possbility of language is born from this.   Episode Transcript   We've been exploring by seeing some very primary statmenets in the Chumash about the nature of why we're here in the world. We've been exploring what our having been sent here is for and doing that through in the meantime, through the most basic description that G-d gives us and that has something to do with the rain. Rashi exposed us to what it was that G-d was looking for and why he was withholding the rain. And what Rashi told us is that ther is actaully four stages to a process which is what G-d is waiting there for from us, and that is that we have an awareness and an appreciation and a compassionate knowing and an asking for. And we even did a little work around that last time.         What that taught us was that man's being sent here has to do with those things. That kind of alignment of purpose is very significant for us in life, tha we know what it is that we're walking through life for. It makes a big difference if (I'm thinking) right, I'm here to be noticing the good, and being conscious in a a compassionate way and turning to my Source as the origin and source for the shifts in reality that I am hoping that will occur. If you walk through your day like that, then it's quite different than if you lose orientation in terms of what it is wyou're here for. You can always go back to that first statement of the creation of man  to reorient yourself as to what it is that you're in life for. Not that it's easy, but its' a starting point.         We also saw that the point of contact, not sure how much we developed this, but that the point of contact is called something which we call "tov." This is really important. L'hakir b'tov creates communing. To recognize good creates communing, deveikut. Actually the Hebrew word is a lot better than the English one. Deveikut, which is communing. And this is so simply demonstrable, that it's almost worth doing an exercise on it already. If you just think for a moment. Here we are sitting in this class, and it's not always so easy to adjust to being here. You came with what you came with and I have a feeling that some of you have come here with quite a bit this morning, and you're carrying what it is that might stand in the way of actually being present. So here's a very simple thing that you might take along to do. If you have at least an amenable relationship next to you, to turn to them, mamash in three statements, and say three things they need to say in order to be here this morning. Three things I'd like to say in order to be present here this morning…It's really quick. It would be good to spend time writing this, but it's not a day-long workshop. But let me ask you, how many of you feel a little more present by virtue of having said what would help you to feel more present here? Good.         I also want to ask you in terms of right now what we're going to learn? How many of you started out by saying something negative, like I have to drop, or get rid of, or remove something from myself before you got to something positive. Just put up your hands. Katie, are you willing to tell us. I have to put the switcher on. To put the switcher on. I oriented myself by saying that there's nothing better that I have to be doing right now than just to be here. I've a million things to do that I've put in my yoman this morning, people to call, answers to questions, and et cetera. Very important for me to say, This is the most important thing for me to be doing right now. Which is something of a removal of something else before I am able to enter in the good that's here. The reason that this is important for me to give over and for you to get a little piece of experience of is because you can come to realize in a simple movement like this is how tov is the connecting point. You see, when you come to tov, you come to It's good to be here, it's a bracha to be here. I know my soul needs this, to be here, or these are teachings that are crucial for my life. To recognize that there is something good locates you in presence. I mean it's, as I said last time, I only say simple things. This is something that everyone knows, but doesn't pay attention to. That it's finding the good in wher I am that makes me connect to the presence of this moment and this place . Finding good in it. Finding good connects.         This is actually a kabbalistic teaching which people don't recognize the beauty of. And that is in kabbalistic teaching, the point of connection is called yesod. Everything we have in life has its abstract in the spiritual, divine world. Everything we have, whether it be love, or restraint, or balance, or ability to overcome, or the ability to accede, or the power of connection, each of these is actually a reflection in life of spiritual principles in abstraction. I'm being very concise right now but I'm also being precise. The point is that if you're familiar with the sefirot, then it will be important for you to know that the sefirah which is called yesod—which means foundation point, point of connection—is also called tov. It's just called tov. And in the verse that we saw last week, where G-d says, lo tov heyot adam lvado, it is not good that man be alone, and if you rememebr there we explored that Rashi then says that this is not good because then there are two reshuyot—and people will forever live in a particlized reality. So that lo tov is actually saying that there is no connection. No good means there's no connection in man being alone.         This is why, by the way, the word orlah, which covers over, is actually rah-lah. It's the same letters as "bad for her." Because disconnection, blockage, separating walls, of of what orlah are, and those separating walls are actually the letters of orlah as rah lah. So that realization is very important as we continue through the teachings that we're learning, because we're taught that in the end of time, when we come back from all we've suffered in exile, so, in chapter 30 of Devarim, so we're told, in verse five, so G-d tells us that he is going to bring us back to the land which we've inherited, v'hitivcha v'hirbecha me avotecha, He'll be good to you and He'll make you greater than even your ancestors were, and then in verse six: umar lashem elokecha et levavcha, v'et levav zarecha v'ahavta hasehm elokecha b'chol levavcha nefshecha lman chayecha. G-d will circumcize your heart which means in the prophet in Yechezkel: v'hesir et levavchem. He is going to remove the orlah or your heart, which means not seeing the good, so that we live a life disconnected. Umal lashem elokecha lvavcha, I'll remove the orlah of your heart with brit milah, and I will then make it possible to love me with all of your heart, with all of your soul, for the sake of your life. The point is at the end of time, that's the vision. The removal of the orlah has to do with removing the attitude or perspective that this is bad. When you shift into this is good—whatever process you need to shift into this is good—I just gave you a very simple one, a moment ago. When I shift into this is good, then I shift into connection. When I shift into connection, then I shift into the possibility of love. until that happens, so then there's no possibility of love. Like the pasuk says, you're going to have to have mal lashem elokecha lvavcha, going to have to circumcize your heart so that you can love Him with all of your heart and all of your soul. It will be possible to have partial love, partial giving myself over to, without this milat halev that G-d is going to do. But the ultimate of it, is going to come by virtue of His having removed that orlah.         So, there's a most amazing thing in the way the Chumash describes how we live. And that is, that everything in how we interact with other, in terms of what its purpose sis and how it works, is paralel to the way in which we interact with G-d. So much so, that you begin to suspect that the possibility of experiencing G-d in a true fashion depends upon the nature of how you're interacting with other people. Now the love that you experience between you and G-d, whether it be G-d's love for you or Your love for Him, is going to be modeled by and in miniature through the nature of our relationships with each other. So take a look, for instance, at the way that the Torah describes the next few verses around man's needing to be created. In chapter two of Bereshit. G-d has made man, He has declared that it's not good for man to be alone, going to make ezer knegdo, something we'll come back to look at. And here comes a most bizarre story. So in verse eighteen again. So G-d said, it's not good that man be alone, I'll make an ezer knegdo, and so, next thing you'd expect would be for G-d to create out of the ground or out of man or from some place—his wife. That would make the most sense. And yet in chapter nineteen it says, So G-d created out of the ground all of the beasts of the earth, all of the birds of the heavens, and He brought them to man, to see what they would name them. And everything He named them, that became its name. And then man called names to all the animals, all the birds, and all the beasts, but he could not find for himself an ezer knegdo.          Now, was someone expecting it to be different? Was it going to be a camel? A horse? Come on! What is the Chumash doing here? What is G-d doing? We know the end of the story What's going to happen is man is going to need a woman, someone who is like him in some way. What advantage, what gain is there going to be here by parading all the animals in front of him, before He gives him his wife? Doesn't make any sense. And why is it that language becomes so significant here before man is able to find him ezer knegdo? What is happening here? If you look very simply at the story, is a precise parallel to the very first way that G-d met man, that we talked about last time.         You see, for man now to be standing alone and having the animals paraded in front of him, is going to arouse something in him. As long as he is standing alone in the world. As long as he is his own separate entity of person, so then there is no arousal of need. As long as man is standing alone, and there is no exposure to the possibility of a mate, so then there is no arousal of need. It's very simple. Were it to have been that G-d made man together with woman, or that G-d would make man without woman, either way, without the parading of animals, and then he would make woman and put her right down in front of him, there w ould be no desire, because there would be no experience of the need for the shift out of the experience of heyot adam lvado (19:53).         So actually, the parading of animals in front of man does one simple thing. It makes him aware of something which is outside of him in a relational fashion. And look how interesting it is. Man is living in a world with a great deal of vegetation. We've had a description of Gan Eden. Why doesn't man call names to the trees? All we have is man calling names to the animals. Isn't that curious? After all, it could have been that he would have looked around and called trees trees, and called grass grass, and called riverse rivers, I mean there's a lot of stuff going on in Gan Eden, there's a lot to talk about. Might not have who to talk to, but he's got what to talk about. Amazing! He doesn't talk about any of it. He doesn't give any names, doesn't relate to it. The only thing he relates to are the animals that are being paraded in front of him after the declaration has been made Lo tov liyhot adam lvado.         Are there female animals         Actually there are some shocking things that the Rabbis say about what actually went on. One of them, which is actually one of the less shocking ones, was, they mated, he saw that they were in pairs, but the point is not sexual arousal, although that's obviously a relevant factor, but the point is that the world is pairs. You don't see that in trees. You don't see that in flowers, unless you are one of those people who study flowers. You don't see it in grass. But you do see it in animals. So G-d parades in front of him those who are overtly paired. And then he gets the idea. And what happens, most astoundingly, is that language is born. Because language is born in the awareness of other, in a way in which the possibility of relating to him is present. I know will leave the enclosed solopsistic world of self-enclosure in which I have no speech, that which is in a sense, either non-connecting or just connecting with all in a way in which there is no need for language. It could go either way. You could just batel in complete self-abnegation and connected to all, or you can be completely autistic and connected to nothing. Not meaning people who have autism—I'm not sure that's a correct application of the term given what we now know more and more about what's going on with autistics, but the simple meaning of the word, to be enclosed, and disconnected. Either way, there is no space for language. Right? Anyone who's had a deep meditative experience knows that there's a touching of an experience which is pure consciousness in which there is no language, and there is an experience of no language when—I just got nothing to say to you. In either direction, the formation of a particular connecting pattern or possibility is called dibur, or kriyat shem, calling a name.         So there's a quite amazing parallel here. Man is becoming aware of the outside of him, that there are other possibilties or selfhood, or at least of life that can be connected to. I think it's important for women to know this. That the Raabis say that there were ten portions of talk that came down to the world. I suppose they came down to the world at the moment that man started talking. Well, one of them men got, and nine, the women got. And it's true, women are a lot more talkative than men, they just are. I'm not saying they all are, but it's a feminine principle. You just have to be careful. This is what the Rabbis teach. That something about woman, who is the repository of relationship. So most speech went there, even speech was originated so to speak, by man.         In any case, we're dealing with a creature who's both masculine and feminine together, so, I'm not sure who was the originator here—which side of man spoke. Some opinions have hiom as being androgynous. But the point is that lanaguage is born in the outward turning possibility of an other with whom I will live. And to whom I will connect.         So now what has occurred is that man has become available to the possibility of relationship by himself being aroused to the need for it and therefore becoming vulnerable—will I have it, won't I have it? None of these are right for him, and by becoming desirous of it. Without that, it doesn't work. Sexual drive is simply a –beside all of the good things about it and that comes with it, but one of the really powerful aspects of it, is that it forces people who are to become a couple, to overcome all of the restraints, fears, and disconnection that, were it not there, they would prefer to just deal with, rather than have to go into relationship. It's a very scary thing to go into relationship. There's a drive here which pushes people over the brink. So to speak when push comes to shove. What we want to do with that is a fascinating subject, but it doesn't necessarily have to be here.         The point is that this is actually a teaching about this story which the Ramban tells us, when he attempts to explain what G-d had in mind when he brought all of these animals in front of him. And so he says the following, that why did He do it? Why did He bring all of these animals? So he says the following: Ramban on verse twenty: Nachon b'einai, it seems to me, ki lo yaachefetz lefanav yitbarach lakachat tzalo mimeno, G-d didn't want to take the side of this man from him, ad she yeidah ha adam, she ein ba nivrah im ezer lo. Until he would know that there is no other creature that is ezer for him. V' she yitaveh she y'hyeh lo ezer cmotah. That he should have desire, that he should have a help-mate like here. Lifnei zeh, tzarich lakachat mimeno [achak] mitzarotav. That's why He takes from him one of his sides. And this is the meaning of His passing the animals in front of him, that man should become aware of his need.         This is very important because we see it exactly parallel as the way G-d related to us. The first thing He does is He speaks words to us that put Him into a situation so to speak of His needing us to respond to his call. Any man or any woman who does not experience that shift into a realization of I'm not whole without that other, will never really be able to experience a loving and connecting relationship. Somehow there needs to be a vaccum, a chalal, an empty space created that will be filled by an other. Now we will see this as a complex connection here. But right now the simple point is crucial, in the way man is created and in the way G-d parades in front of him the animals. So, it's not until it's happened that he's become aware of that drive and need, that G-d will then be able to do what He does to take his other half—according to one of the interpretations, and stand her in front of him so that she will become the one with whom he will have the following experience and this is described in verse twenty-three, when man says, Zot hapa'am—this is the time. This is the one. Meaning, there have been other tries, in some sense, there were other considerations, other possibilities. Etzem m'atzami, basar mbasari, this is my very selfhood, my very flesh. Vzot yikarei isha ki me ish lukacha zot. So this will be called woman because she has been taken from man. Al ken yazo ish et aviv v'imo so that's why a person leaves his father and mother. V'davak b'ishto and has deveikut with his wife. [??] basar echad. Then they become one flesh.         So that transition begins even with man's first statement of Zot hapa'am, this is the time, indicating that there have been other possibilities which have not been ones that he is an appropriate match for, an appropriate meeting for. And only that, the Chumash tells us, only because of that will a person leave his father and mother. In other words, he has to have an experience of something outside there, outside the realm of the family, and things that he's used to and comfortable with. For him to step out and to enter the possibility of him to be davel b'ishto [??] basar echad.         And yet, the Rabbis tell us a rather curious thing. They tell us that in the beginning, G-d actually considered making man as two separate creatures, that there would be woman and there would be man. That was the original plan. That He would make man, and that there would be woman alongside him. Not as one body but as two separate entities. And then He decided that He would make them first as one. So what happens in that process, in that initial consideration that there first would be two, and then G-d's decision that there would b one. It's rather odd, it's like why is He first considering that? That they should be two, and then they should be one? And then creates them as one. Somehow there has to be that there would be a plan, a thought, that creates a certain reality. Of two separate entities, and then the means to get to that has to be that they will first made as one. Get this. In our teachings, the first thought is the purpose. Like, when we say, when we talk about Shabbat, first in thought, last in deed. So first in thought, the first thought is that there would be two. Only then G-d does sort of a menas to getting to that point, which is that there would be a creation of one. But the creation of one is the means of getting to the point of there being two. Kind of funny, you'd think it would be the opposite, that first He thinks of them as one, but then He creates them as two. But instead, He thinks of them as two, and then He creates them as one. So, you're saying that the whole chapter one of Bereshit is, let's make man in our image and G-d created them in His image, male and female He created them, but that's all just in thought? That's what the Rabbi's say. That's actually how it's taught. Male and femal, that's in his mind. But then in actuality, he created them as one body. You're right, it would be good to give you perhaps more text on this, what the Rabbis say, and show you these verses. But initially, what He's thinking is that they'll be two, and then He creates them as one.  This is very important. It's not a difficult point, it's just one to be aware of. And you can see an experience of union which can only be had by virtue of you having once been one. The point is that two separate entities experience union, so the point is that two separate entities experience being outside one another knegdo, one against the other, one opposite the other, two separate free-standing individuals. That's the point, that there be two separate, free-standing individuals. That's the first thought who have the power of coming to experience oneness and union. So physically, they first need to be created as one. In order that, what will happen in this world that will be when they become separated, then they will be able to stand freely in desire of each other, experiencing the need of completion by virtue of their being in relationship.         It's not complicated, but it's crucial to realize that G-d is setting up an ezer knegdo reality in which—and now I'm going to expose a bit of which that term means—in which there will be an ezer, a support, one who is able to be at one with, and knegdo, one who is able to stand opposite from and in opposition to. Neged means in opposition to. In other words, in order for there to be the possibility for relationship, there needs to be the ability and possibility of union, of at-oneness, of support, and knegdo, standing opposite of and saying no. And those both need to be experienced at once. In other words, there needs to be a sense of me being at union with this other, that my wholeness is a result of our coming together, but I can only experience that if that other is able to stand in opposition to me and across from me, saying No. That's a blunt way to say it. In an existing and separated selfhood. Right-relationship will only be able to exist if both of those realities are present. Both the realities of ezer, and the reality of knegdo.         It's unfortunate translations that miss how the Hebrew is actually describing what appear to be two opposite movements of ezer and of knegdo. Some people say "help-meet" and there are in the mefarshim, Rashi actually has something which, the Maharal says is the konic, it's a little bit of humor, that yeah, if you're ezer, you're zocheh, if you're not, she's going to be against you. But the Maharal says that Rashi's not meaning, that the verse is telling you that I'll make him an ezer knegdo. Someone that if he's zocheh, so she should be with him, and if he's not, she'll be aginst him, it's going to be hell. That's the point. The point is, that both of those need to be present in order for the possibility of relationship to be there.         So G-d, in His first thought thinks the ultimate intention, which is that there should be fusion and deveikut. Excuse me, two separate entities who can stand on their own, who will be freely choosing and able to come into relationship, but only able to come into relationship because they have the possibility of disconnecting from it. If that possibility is not there, then the relationship is not real. No such thing as Catholic marriage by us. The relationship has to be embedded in the possibility of me walking away, demanding separation. And that is, in spiritual language, what is called the ratzo v'shov, of going out and coming back. Of going out towards the union and the meeting, and the coming back to my separated and individuated selfhood.         It's very important that a couple learn that very delicate dance of ratzo v'shov. It's embedded in what the nature of relationship is as ezer knegdo, individuated and separate. The physical experience is of them being created as one. Because that's how this worlds experiences union, so then G-d creates them as one, so that possibility of ezer will be there, of fusion and togetherness and oneness of deep, deep, deep intimacy. But the point is that they be able to stand across from each other in separation and individuation and each have their own separate, individuated self in order to come into that fusion. So in this world they're created as one, but in G-d's mind, they are initially two.         In this world they're created as one?         Yeah, they're created as one body.         Wow.         But there's another [stage] of  separation.         That's right.         That's why [?] back, because we know there's separation. (44:05)         We know it as separation, meaning that there is another stage of separation here, in this world, where G-d separates them into two. In that case, it's so painful to be—they say that in this world you're created as one body, but if you're not whole, it's so painful. Are we not supposed to feel whole in ourselves as we come together with another? Are we not supposed to have that, maybe it's just the western idea I have that you're totally balanced in yourself and you come together with someone who's balanced within him or herself and then that's where a healthy relationship comes from. I wouldn't belittle that. The ability to stand knegdo in differentiation and individuation is crucial for a relationship of connection to be lived rightly. But these are subtle and compound experiences. It's not like, I don't need her, I don't need him. And we'll learn about that more when we learn about a midah that's called histapkut. But for now, I just want to point out that this is embedded already in the verse that will become a root description for us of the nature of how a loving relationship comes about. It has to be able to be lived both the ezer and the knegdo. And only then can there be the possibility of davak b'ishto l'basar echad be present. Now that, as we said, is built on, well, now we have two principals. One principal is the willingness to open to vulnerability, the awareness of my need, and the other is my ability to find what is good as a connecting point. So that I will be able to be here in this situation or with this person.         What does it mean when we say Vdavak bishto vheilo l'basar echad? So here also I want to give you a reading from the Ramban, where he says the following. There are two interpretations of what the Vdavak bishto vheilo l'basar echad, is. He leaves his parents, he walks out on a situation of being comfortable. Then he clings to his wife, or communes with his wife, and then they become one flesh. So what is the meaning of their becoming one flesh? So Rashi says that they become basar echad, Havlad basar al yadei shneihem. Vsham naaseh bsaram echad. The child that's born of the two of them. Ah, that's when their flesh becomes one, because now they have been formed into one person, the tow of them in that child, simple enough. The problem with it, of course, is that it does not teach anything unique about man. Man isn't the only creation that becomes one flesh, animals do that too! So, I guess what you're telling me, is that all animals also will become one flesh, by virtue of their coupling? So then, what is unique about man here? Well, what is unique about man, the Ramban teaches, is vdavak b'ishto, that he clings to his wife. And she also to him, that they commune together. And in that communing they become one.         And so then Ramban says, I don't understand the Rashi. What do you mean that they become one by virtue of the child. Because animals do that too. No, but rather, with animals, there is no deveikut. You know, the male and the female come together, they have the function of reproduction, then they go off their separate ways. Not all of them. In fact, the yonah, is actually a significant symbol for us. But in general that's the way it is in the animal kingdom. Mipneh zeh amar hakatuv, that's why the verse tells us that here it's different, because she is like his very self. And of his very flesh. And therefore, he communes with her. He clings to her. She becomes to him like his very own flesh. She to him, him to her, becomes her very own flesh, and his language is only from the male perspective, but it can be read either way: v'yakptz bah, v'yotah tamid imo, he's in full desire that she should always be with him, like it was with the first man, so it was placed as the nature of all of his progeny, that all of the males and the females are deveikim, they leave their parents and they see each other as far more their own flesh than any relative they're ever had.         So this kind of achievement of an experience of oneness with the other, is something with is unique to human life, where as for all animals, sex is a function of reproduction. For man, the way the Ramban teaches this verse, sex is not a function for the accomplishment of reproduction, but at a certain level, reproduction is itself a drive pushed two separate people to come together, the purpose being, that they should become one flesh. I'll say that again. In the animal kingdom, the sexual drive is embedded so that there should be reproduction, so once that's accomplished, they're done. But in human life, in a sense, sometimes it's even the opposite, the sexual function produces a child and creates a union between the parents that wasn't there before. And that's right. We're in this common creation. We have indeed become one by virtue of this common creation. It's quite extraordinary, it really is, that a joint creative activity, will produce a union between those who do it. I mean, we all know this. Whenever you want to create a great group dynamic. You want to get people together. So give tehm a project to work on together. Then you'll see a group united. Give them a project. The more creative it is, the more it involves a union of minds and body, the more you can get involved in that joint creativity, so the more the group becomes united and one. The creativity becomes the means by which the group comes together, That's when it's called being manipulative so that you can get a so to speak group cohesive. Group cohesiveness. But the truth is, the chumash is actually saying that. They will leave their parents not in order to have children. They leave their parents because they seek their own wholeness. Because they're aware of their being partial. And then in their coming together, it's the most beautiful thing that G-d has made the world this way in joining together, that they not only produce the progeny, but then that progeny serves to bring them into even closer and more powerful union. Both physically and emotionally, and ultimately spiritually, as being jointly devoted, as we'll see in the third level. That's an entirely different reading of the verse. Al ken ya'azov ish et aviv vet imo, He leaves his parents, v'davak b'ishto l'basar echad. He sacrifices a false experience of union which is in his family, or a level of an experience which is he is still missing his other half, and steps out in order to cleave to an other. That only comes about by virtue of this experience of the lack of other possibilities and alternative, which then also creates the experience of a knegdo, because she can say no, she is other than him, and he is in need of her, and he is vulnerable and open and to this. Which allows for—and now I'm going to use a term that we used at the end of our coming into the Land of Israel after the desert, he acquires a lev la'da'at, a knowing heart, one that can appreciate and accept it and not block it out of a need to remain separate and independent and self-sufficient and thereby, like we saw between man and G-d, l'hakir b'chasdei hashem, to recognize His goodness, l'davek bo, and become in communion with him, so also now, his next stage will be to recognize the goodness for this other to connect and then to become a entity of oneness in all the different realms in which we live.         I had this realization. I was sitting in Tel Aviv, looking at the way people dress and walk, seeing the way women dress, and what they show and don't show, all the different games that are going on, all the different attempts to attract people, it's like it's—it's almost like there's like an embedded knowing that it's going to be really hard to overcome the walls that stand between us as separate individuals. And that they need to do something that's going to really pull this other person in. And indeed, it's very challenging. And we're going to see as we look deeper, what the nature of this orlah is. What the nature of this block that stands between us and another is. Why it is that we're so reluctant to expose ourselves to one another in a deep sense of intimacy. And have to rely on all kinds of physical drives that pull us together. Which is also embedded in the nature of reality. G-d knows our foibles, so to speak. But the point is, all of that reluctance to become exposed, has to do with, if I can come back to the point of today's class, has to do with first and foremost, with my willingness to accept my vulnerability. That indeed I am not whole with out you. That indeed there is something that my life is lacking if you are not here. Without that availability to that, with all that that implies, there will never be an intimate relationship, because there is a withholding that accompanies the interaction. And, more deeply, the maintenance of that vulnerability has to do with the ability of each member of the couple to stand as a knegdo with the possibility of separating, with the reality of being separate and differentiation, and so to speak, whole on your own.  That's ezer knegdo.         There's a very subtle interaction between these elements and that's why—and I'll translate the phrase as one thing, but it really means the ability to hold both. And indeed the way G-d created us and the way he made that first experience of man is what we all go through. [1] An awareness that I have to separate out from my family and to become my own. It is an awareness of this aloneness that is something not go, and usually there is a whole parade of animals, so to speak, until you discover the one who's truly meant to be yours. I don't mean to be disparaging. But oftentimes, that's the way it's experienced. But what that does is it develops the possibility of language. The possibility of being able to enunciate the connecting points of communication that will allow for the possibility of deveikut, of connection that comes with years of living together and being together. All of this is parallel as we have begun to see in the way in which we live with G-d. I'm curious how it is dealt with the difference of chapter one and chapter two of creation, in short? Your point about the first story being in thought. I wish I was better prepared to share that with you. But indeed Chazal say that that verse, which is back in chapter one, where man was created, we're talking about chapter one, verse twenty-seven, which says, vayivrah elohim et ha adam b'tzalmo, b'tzelem elohim barah oto. Zachar u'nekevah barah otam, so the verse itself is so to speak confused. At first, in the singular, it says that G-d created him. And then it says that make and female, He created them. So which is it, did He create him, or did he create them? So that's where the Rabbis derive that actually both happened. Namely, that His creation is in practice here, barah oto. But zachar un'kevah, barah otam, is the way it was in His mind. But b'li neder, I'll look at the source of that so that you could see that better . (Editor's note: check if this teaching appears in the sequels to this lesson: Be'erot 03b and Be'erot 03c). The first story and the second story. You are getting it confused with nifrad, lo nifrad, it feels like we don't' know what really comes first. In thought, then in creation, it's like the chicken or the egg, that's why it's so confusing. It's hard to find the beginning of. It's like circle[2] which both are happening, that we're one together and we're separate; we're one together, we're separate. What sense is there in it being two separate acts? We're really living both of those at once. We'll contemplate that more.   More teaching from Rav Daniel on our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/ravdanielk

Ever wonder what Kabbalah is really about? Or how you might have a close relationship with God? Is cleaving to God an expectation that might have been medieval but no longer is sought? Rabbi Dr. Daniel M. Horwitz ‘s new book A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader (The Jewish Publication Society, 2016) answers these questions and many more in an easily readable, even entertaining, highly authentic and scholarly manner. Divided into seven parts and twenty-eight concise chapters, with each chapter an ideal length to readily understand the topic, this book is perfect for the student of Kabbalah and Jewish mysticism as well as the casual reader eager to transform his/her spiritual options. Praised by critics as “a gateway into the world of Jewish spirituality . . . An important resource, very well done” and “carefully thought out and well researched, making a very complicated subject quite accessible,” Daniel Horwitz’s new book describes five major types of Jewish mysticism and includes a brief chronology of its development, with a timeline. Beginning with the Bible’s prophets, he moves through early mystical movements up through current expressions of Deveikut, or cleaving to God. Kabbalah and the ten sephirot are described and explained. The words and teachings about mysticism and exaltation of twentieth century giant Abraham Joshua Heschel are shared. Humor is part of the telling of stories by Horwitz, and clarity and understanding emerge. In fact, the book is like a private class or conversation with this compassionate, brilliant teacher: he sits across from you as you read a vital text and then he explains to you what it means and the context in which you want to understand it. The book has received very favorable reviews. Among them, see here. A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader is available via Amazon.com, Jewish Publication Society, and your independent bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever wonder what Kabbalah is really about? Or how you might have a close relationship with God? Is cleaving to God an expectation that might have been medieval but no longer is sought? Rabbi Dr. Daniel M. Horwitz ‘s new book A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader (The Jewish Publication Society, 2016) answers these questions and many more in an easily readable, even entertaining, highly authentic and scholarly manner. Divided into seven parts and twenty-eight concise chapters, with each chapter an ideal length to readily understand the topic, this book is perfect for the student of Kabbalah and Jewish mysticism as well as the casual reader eager to transform his/her spiritual options. Praised by critics as “a gateway into the world of Jewish spirituality . . . An important resource, very well done” and “carefully thought out and well researched, making a very complicated subject quite accessible,” Daniel Horwitz’s new book describes five major types of Jewish mysticism and includes a brief chronology of its development, with a timeline. Beginning with the Bible’s prophets, he moves through early mystical movements up through current expressions of Deveikut, or cleaving to God. Kabbalah and the ten sephirot are described and explained. The words and teachings about mysticism and exaltation of twentieth century giant Abraham Joshua Heschel are shared. Humor is part of the telling of stories by Horwitz, and clarity and understanding emerge. In fact, the book is like a private class or conversation with this compassionate, brilliant teacher: he sits across from you as you read a vital text and then he explains to you what it means and the context in which you want to understand it. The book has received very favorable reviews. Among them, see here. A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader is available via Amazon.com, Jewish Publication Society, and your independent bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever wonder what Kabbalah is really about? Or how you might have a close relationship with God? Is cleaving to God an expectation that might have been medieval but no longer is sought? Rabbi Dr. Daniel M. Horwitz ‘s new book A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader (The Jewish Publication Society, 2016) answers these questions and many more in an easily readable, even entertaining, highly authentic and scholarly manner. Divided into seven parts and twenty-eight concise chapters, with each chapter an ideal length to readily understand the topic, this book is perfect for the student of Kabbalah and Jewish mysticism as well as the casual reader eager to transform his/her spiritual options. Praised by critics as “a gateway into the world of Jewish spirituality . . . An important resource, very well done” and “carefully thought out and well researched, making a very complicated subject quite accessible,” Daniel Horwitz’s new book describes five major types of Jewish mysticism and includes a brief chronology of its development, with a timeline. Beginning with the Bible’s prophets, he moves through early mystical movements up through current expressions of Deveikut, or cleaving to God. Kabbalah and the ten sephirot are described and explained. The words and teachings about mysticism and exaltation of twentieth century giant Abraham Joshua Heschel are shared. Humor is part of the telling of stories by Horwitz, and clarity and understanding emerge. In fact, the book is like a private class or conversation with this compassionate, brilliant teacher: he sits across from you as you read a vital text and then he explains to you what it means and the context in which you want to understand it. The book has received very favorable reviews. Among them, see here. A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader is available via Amazon.com, Jewish Publication Society, and your independent bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever wonder what Kabbalah is really about? Or how you might have a close relationship with God? Is cleaving to God an expectation that might have been medieval but no longer is sought? Rabbi Dr. Daniel M. Horwitz ‘s new book A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader (The Jewish Publication Society, 2016) answers these questions and many more in an easily readable, even entertaining, highly authentic and scholarly manner. Divided into seven parts and twenty-eight concise chapters, with each chapter an ideal length to readily understand the topic, this book is perfect for the student of Kabbalah and Jewish mysticism as well as the casual reader eager to transform his/her spiritual options. Praised by critics as “a gateway into the world of Jewish spirituality . . . An important resource, very well done” and “carefully thought out and well researched, making a very complicated subject quite accessible,” Daniel Horwitz’s new book describes five major types of Jewish mysticism and includes a brief chronology of its development, with a timeline. Beginning with the Bible’s prophets, he moves through early mystical movements up through current expressions of Deveikut, or cleaving to God. Kabbalah and the ten sephirot are described and explained. The words and teachings about mysticism and exaltation of twentieth century giant Abraham Joshua Heschel are shared. Humor is part of the telling of stories by Horwitz, and clarity and understanding emerge. In fact, the book is like a private class or conversation with this compassionate, brilliant teacher: he sits across from you as you read a vital text and then he explains to you what it means and the context in which you want to understand it. The book has received very favorable reviews. Among them, see here. A Kabbalah and Jewish Mysticism Reader is available via Amazon.com, Jewish Publication Society, and your independent bookseller Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices