funshitonly

These past few years have provided a lot of clarity for our family.  Understanding ADHD's role in and out of our four walls has been a big part of that clarity.  

It has taken us a long time, eleven months to be exact, to record a new episode because we had to figure out how the podcast would fit into our lives. The next phase of life for us will be focusing on becoming more A|igne(ed). This episode is a stream of consciousness from Jenn and me about the process as we see it in creating a joint brand that incorporates Therapy, Coaching, Group Coaching, Workshops, etc., in a business called Align.

write up to follow 

Listen to our thoughts about creating a vision board and reach out to help us out please!email funshitonlypodcast@gmail.com 

Are you feeling things changing and starting to envision past what our new normal has become.  Jenn and I are starting to feel a shift so we have some discussions about what that feels like for each of us and how we are processing it in our lives and in our businesses. We discuss Our recent getaway and how very cool it was.How a strange interaction we had in a pool made us think differently. Jenn's thoughts on how the prolonged pandemic will have differing effects on different people. How we realize that our views aren't shared by all, and that's ok with us.    

I really enjoyed this episode, maybe its just me because we are reflecting on my marriage. I'm not sure, but I think this episode is incredible. This is a conversation between Jenn and I about communication in our relationship. I had planned that this would be about the functional parts of effective communication, which it is. But, I didn't think it would be so reflective for each of us. The three components of communication we discuss in this episode are1) Active Listening and listening with curiosity2) Sending your message and being conscious that you're words and body language are aligned.3) Ensuring your message is received and understood as intended.

Motivation is unquestionably one of the things everyone struggles with often. I have had so many conversations surrounding this topic, and they are the same. Everyone feels that they should be doing something, and they feel bad about themselves for not wanting to do it. Sometimes it's not the lack of motivation that causes the damage. It's the judgment that we place on ourselves related to our feeling of whether or not we are deserving of rest or downtime. If you were cool with your output level, you wouldn't feel the need to be more motivated. Hmmm, how do we know the difference?On the flip side, when it comes to creating motivation to do the things we need to do to feel the way we want to feel, we need reliable techniques because the stakes are too high. Decide the difference, have a conversation with yourself. Why do you feel like you need to motivate yourself? If it's not for you and it's baggage, you don't need to be carrying. Let it go. But if it is for you and timely, use some of the things we discuss in the episode to generate motivation. Jenn has her ways, and I have mine. https://www.buzzsprout.com/744083/6312169I'll be digging more into specific ways to create motivation in the coming weeks. Thanks for listening.

If you are curious about what a coaching session is like, I am grateful to have one here for you to take in. G wanted to work on some techniques that could help her separate her from her emotions. She identified that some things trigger her, and she reacts and finds herself "in the box" where she states she doesn't belong. We do a bit of exploration and come up with some new ways to look at these instances. I hope you enjoy this episode. If you think we could be a good fit to work together and are interested in a 30-minute discovery call, I've included a link to my calendar where you can book a session with me. https://calendly.com/andrewgil

Things are moving along as I'm building my coaching business. I'm having more and more coaching conversations each week and seeing growth in my clients and myself. Last week I talked and thought all about perspective. The concept of the wheel was that if we could affect change in one area, it would affect change in the other regions also. I believe my focus on perspective last week has clarified some of my thoughts on self-image. As I'm coaching more people from all walks of life, one thing has become evident, how we view ourselves significantly affects how we approach the world. Imagine what would happen to our self-images if we all viewed vulnerability as a strength. I think about how my different experiences at different stages have made a lasting impact on my self-image. When I talk to other people with and without ADHD, it feels like a shot to the gut when I hear how they have assigned less value to themselves because of a poor self-image learned from others' repetitive feedback. You are not lazy or dumb. You are smart, creative, empathetic, and intuitive. Self-image is improved by having measurable successes. You build confidence by keeping the promises that you've made to yourself. So, let's be intentional and specific about what we ask of ourselves. One of the traits I've picked up on about myself and others is that we want to develop permanent solutions in the areas where we fall short. Like how most people treat their new year's resolutions, they aspire to change specific aspects completely. But, quickly, they fizzle out and are soon forgotten. But for some of us, they aren't forgotten. They're mentally stored as failures and are considered proof of what we thought of ourselves, and reinforcing our poor self-image. We believe this to be evidence that we can't follow through or pay attention, and we all too often give up. When we institute systems and structure into our lives, I suggest we build in room for improvement. I'm learning it doesn't have to be all or nothing. What's important here is that we don't get angry or embarrassed for what we see as not following through on another thing and then incorrectly concluding that we can't do the things and achieve the goals that will improve how we view ourselves. The next time you're either considering or presented with a new initiative, try out the following.Maybe you're super excited about the possibilities, and perhaps you feel that fear in the pit of your stomach that this will ultimately end up in what you view as another failed attempt. I urge you to identify that feeling in your gut as a valuable asset, don't power through it, thinking this time will be different. Instead, pause, go through these questions to ensure this new initiative is timely, be successful, and build your self-image and confidence. We'll need that positive self-image and confidence to get to where we are going. 1) How long will this be in my life? 2) Why is this significant and necessary now?3) Do I have now or do I have access to the time and resources to ensure this initiative is successful, given my current commitments. 4) What will I have to scale back on that is currently in my life so that I can take on this new shiny thing and everything that comes with it, and is that acceptable to me?If you go through this process and think through these questions, you're exercising your power and stating that you are the agent in charge of instituting change in your life. This process applies to everything, the new cool things you want to take on, and those things we view as selected on our behalf. Going through this process and identifying your limits can give you the information needed to communicate your capacity and boundaries from a healthy place. 

In this episode, we invited Lauren to join us for a deep dive with no stated outline or plan, as we do with all our guests. Once we hit record and started, Lauren's perspective and reflections upon her own life's journey were both powerful and emotional. Lauren began to reference stages in her life, and she had names for them. We were both intrigued by this, so we asked questions surrounding these stages about what they meant and how they transitioned. She defined her transitions from Fighter to Survivor then onto Thrive. She explains her feelings about the upcoming stage of her life and does her best to describe her understanding of what's next. After this call Jenn, and I discussed how powerful and relatable this conversation was for us. We defined pivotal moments in our lives that we'd call stages and talked through them, which was challenging in some cases. I encourage you to listen to this and reflect on your life journey. What are the moments, events, and stages where you can measure before and after? Those are your stages. 

Jenn and I sit down at our white table to discuss how we've made and implemented massive changes in our lives and how these decisions have affected each of us individually. It seems these things occur in a particular season for us, and August is the month for change. I've recently decided to leave my full-time job to build a full time coaching business, and Jenn and I have started to create a joint entity called Align Therapy and Coaching, all exciting news. I talk for a few minutes about how I felt change was on the horizon throughout the year, no matter how hard I fought it.Jenn takes a few minutes to describe some of her emotions surrounding the fear of losing autonomy and individuality in creating this new joint business and how we are working through that together.   

We had the pleasure of having Andy Lipman on the show and it is really such an incredible interview. There were so many nuggets in this one it was very difficult choosing a single sound bite. We first saw Andy several years ago at a National Cystic Fibrosis leadership council where he dazzled a few thousand people with his raw emotions, witty humor, and incredible mindset. When we started reaching out to people to be on the show we were thrilled that he accepted the invitation. We tell our guests that we love to dive deep, that however deep they would like to go we'd be happy to follow them. Andy has clearly done the work and dives right in covering the spectrum. He talks about how he viewed himself as a young man living with cystic fibrosis, and how things have changed for him since he's been taking a medication that treats the root cause of cystic fibrosis called Trikafta. If you want to hear a mindset and perspective that will change the way you view things I encourage you to listen to this episode, it will not disappoint. 

We had Joe Fier of The Hustle and Flowchart Podcast join us in this episode to take a deep dive to discuss with us where he is at as in the multiple roles in life that he plays. Joe is an incredibly humble and vulnerable person and we really get to some of the good stuff surrounding what's important to him and how he is showing up in the world. We hope that you enjoy this episode. We are kind of leaning into this type of interview format where we have no specific agenda but to talk with awesome people about their journey, what's meaningful and fulfilling to them. Thanks so much,Andy and Jenn

Jenn and I just returned from our annual August family vacation and as we were sitting at the kitchen table discussing how we appreciated the different parts of it we realized that we had a podcast. Creating adventure is a priority for both of us and we talk about why and discus some of our past adventures and why they were special for us. 

In this weeks episode, we sit down with Penelope Menacho to discuss self care. A year ago Penelope came into Jenn's life at an important time. We believe that people are placed in your life for specific reasons. Penelope taught Jenn how to slow down and "allow" which helped change the course of 2019 for her.  In this episode, Penelope also discusses listening to your body and different grounding/centering techniques to help you get more in tune with yourself. Since recording this podcast, Penelope has listened to her own calling and is moving towards growth in her own profession. We are so excited for her new adventure and can't wait to have her on again in the future. Unfortunately this means that those of us in Connecticut will no longer be able to benefit from her gifts in person. It was an honor to learn from her, and we can't wait till she comes back to share more of her talents with us. 

Jenn and I have have taken a little break this summer from recording but we wanted to do this episode on the pursuit of living an authentic life, we hope you enjoy it.  

In this weeks episode of FSO Friday's we discuss reframing negative thoughts. In this discussion we identify how thoughts influence feelings and behaviors. Jenn gives some information regarding Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and how it can help to reframe negative thinking patterns. We also discuss our own negative thinking traps and how we are trying to work through them. Resources:https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/20_questions_to_challenge_negative_thoughts_0.pdfhttps://www.iwanttochangemylife.org/cbt/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-guide.htmhttps://www.psychologytools.com/resource/cbt-thought-record/

This weeks guest is Chris Krimitsos, Author of Start Ugly. Chris joins us in this episode to have a conversation around this concept. Start ugly started in a business training Chris was holding when he was trying to get people to get over their fears of starting, he simply stated one day....."start ugly" and its been part of his trainings ever since. The book is intended to be read in a single sitting. It tells the fictional story about an established business man who ultimately loses his business to a younger man because he refused to adapt to the current climate and "start ugly" over when he needed to. I'm incredibly grateful for Chris, the time he spent with us, and the relatability of his message. He clearly finds purpose and fulfillment in his work and it shows. Chris is the founder and Chief Creative Officer of Podfest Multimedia Expo. He and his team have created a community of a few thousand people that are supportive of each others growth through sharing and collaboration. 

Join us for some discussion around the relevant topic of setting boundaries. 

Jeff has been a friend for several years and we are happy to have him join us for some conversations about finding purpose in what matters. I really enjoyed this conversation because Jeff was vulnerable and told us the back story of how his podcast,  RIZING UP, started in a much different place than it is now. We talked about parenting our children and leading by example because ultimately who we are will impact who they will be. Later in the episode we talk about organizational leadership and culture building and some of our experiences with that. 

In this weeks FSO Friday we have a difficult and vulnerable discussion about white privilege and address some of our own cultural biases. We discuss various educational resources we have begun to explore to help us dig deeper into our own selves. Throughout this episode, we explore how empathy can help us to put ourselves in other people's lives to help us understand life through other's perspective. Here are some resources that we discussed in the podcast:Podcasts:1619Scene on Radio, season 2 "Seeing White"Ten Percent Happier, You Can't Meditate This Away (Race, Rage, and the Responsibilities of Meditators)Brene Brown with Ibram X. Kendi on How to Be an AntiracistBrene Brown with Austin Channing Brown on I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for WhitenessNetflix documentry13thDear White PeopleBooksSo You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma OluoHow to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. KendiI'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing BrownWhite Fragility by Robin Diangelo

We had elite runner and coach, John Raneri, who just recently broke the record for the fastest treadmill half marathon, on the podcast to chat with us about his story. I met John a couple of years ago and we've had hours of conversations about goal setting, over-coming adversities, and shifting exceptions to the given climate. John is truly one of the most humble and genuine individuals I know and a great friend. He's always working on his mindset and it shows in his results. 

We have a quick conversation about what decision fatigue is to each of us and how we do our best to curb it.