Mandemic

It's the final Mandemic podcast, so Sideman's got Lady Leshurr to wrap things up. They're chatting Masterchef, dirty mouths and staying indoors whether there's a lockdown or not.

Comedian London Hughes tells Sideman about Pandemic FOMO and her sunshine lockdown in LA – and she reveals why she misses a certain type of crisps more than her entire family.

Rizzle Kicks' Jordan Stephens wants to give his teenage self a flapjack and a hug. Meanwhile, Sideman's busy saying no thanks to Rice Krispies.

Ella won't take a pandemic as an excuse for delivery drivers not being able to find her. She also tells Sideman about not being able to play live music, anxiety and people who drummed on her for a trip to the seaside.

Love Island winner Amber Rose Gill has had a mixed lockdown – she's got her life organised and learned to make soup but she's badly missed being able to sit in a restaurant. Here, she talks with Sideman about the Pandemic Police, becoming a gamer and speaking out over Black Lives Matter.

Sideman is excited about restaurants reopening, no more dirty dishes! And there's a kitten crisis coming, which doesn't sound that scary… unless you're Sideman and cats hate you.

Sadiq Khan is taking a pay cut, Sideman is fine with that IF nobody is asking him to. In other news, movies are back in production and Gwyneth Paltrow is making a fool of us all.

Sideman talks socially distanced sex and whether Maleficent is better than The Lion King (spoiler alert: it isn't).

Sideman's got a sore throat after weeks of preaching about social distancing, so this week's podcast will have to wait a few days. Rest assured, he'll be back with all the week's biggest corona news once he's had some honey and lemon and a little lie down.

Sideman is bringing you his first weekly round up. Expect all the week's best stories from carers on Vogue, clown shoes for health purposes and stealing simians. Yes you read that right - thieving monkeys!

Sideman is watching everything ease up but he's still shook. He's also just realised a certain Chief Advisor has a naughty name.

Coronavirus has given Sideman a new way to decipher people. He's also here for tonight being the last 'clap for carers' as the woman who began the movement has said so.

Sideman wants other people to test the holiday trips to Spain first to see if it's safe. Then once he knows it's good, he's ready to see a pretty sunset. However, he's not ready to see the cheetah that escaped someone's house in London this week, which turns out was their pet!

According to reports around 90 phone masts have been attacked during the lockdown. It's believed that conspiracy theorists are behind it and Sideman is fuming as he wants better wifi.

Sideman gives you a 4 phase guide on how to spend your bank holiday. Plus he's hoping that the government considers giving us an extra bank holiday in October.

A nurse was told off for wearing a bikini under her transparent PPE and Sideman is livid. Shouldn't we be congratulating her for healing minds as well as bodies? In other news, certificates of immunity are being considered and Sideman wants one (that he can wear as a hoodie).

A French businessman suggested that France sell the Mona Lisa to help the country out. Sideman is thinking of things that the UK could sell to help us out now... He's also interested in the dolphin that keeps bringing gifts from the sea bed floor in exchange for food from people during lockdown.

Lockdown boredom caused Jason Derulo to try and eat corn from an electric drill. Don't try this at home. It's also got families driving to beaches and then complaining that others have had the same idea.

Loss of taste is confirmed as a symptom of -19, Sideman worries about chicken. He is also wondering why people are making such an effort with themselves when they're staying indoors.

One man in the UK has made an invention so he can safely hug his grandma. Sideman is shook at the words 'sex buddy' used by the Dutch government, he's not sure he'd be ready for Boris Johnson to be using any slang words.

Sideman is having sticky toffee pudding for breakfast and learning about new swimming apparatus. Oh and fancy coming to the world's first 'respect my space' rave?

Sideman love calculators but he's not sure about a coronavirus calculator. He's also really missing hugs but thankfully he has a big stuffed tiger to hug at night.

During lockdown, some guys are missing the way their barber spins them around in the barber chair. Will anyone care about celebrities in a post covid world? Sideman shares his thoughts.

Shanghai Disneyland reopens its gates and Sideman's not sure about people's choices. He's also relieved to finally have snacks in his house again.

Sideman is convinced some people just want to be with covid-19. He's also been feeling a bit confused since the government released their new covid scale meter as it looks too much like another meter that he knows oh so well...

Sideman is kicking exes to the curb and at last revealing his dog bite origin story. Also, what day is it again?

Sideman is joining the talk about what aisle he can't wait to walk down after lockdown. He also wants the superhero Banshee to become real and then help save us by shouting at everyone.

Sideman's here for a council's advice on safe sex – but he can't see the point in lockdown virtual weddings.

Sheep in Turkey are crashing lockdown - Sideman thinks they're 'city sheep'. And where do you even start with people who cut 'breathing holes' into their protective face masks?

An aquarium in Japan wants you to FaceTime their eels, Sideman thinks his mum won't be happy. He also has an opinion on those who are protesting the coronavirus lockdown whilst wearing a face mask.

Sideman is preparing for the hedgehog takeover and basking in his new dry look. And videos games for NHS workers - good or bad?

Nudes for the NHS? Sideman's not sure... And he is not surprised that it's taken a lockdown for Jada Pinkett Smith to really get to know Will Smith.

Drake injured his foot and Sideman has a lot to say about it. He's also trying to warn kids off from trying the 'nutmeg challenge' on Tik Tok.

Sideman is giving you alternative suggestions for when someone asks you what you're doing. He's also got queue-jumping etiquette tips (although he's never done it, so maybe don't try them).

Gum and mint sales are down in the UK and Sideman can understand why. He's realised a lot of his personal hygiene habits are for the benefit of others, so he's let some of them slip for now.

Put the bat down – this is not the time for a game of cricket. And why Sideman won't risk a postman's life for a Jamaican patty (probably).

Sideman is trusting no one, not even his non-existent baby. And is JK Rowling trolling us by not writing a lockdown Harry Potter book?

Sideman agrees that you shouldn't be touching food at shops if you're not going to buy it. He's also really enjoying a story of two loved-up 97-year-olds who decided to move in together just before lockdown.

Sideman isn't sure about a 12-year-old producing a cookbook. What he is sure about is how to exit a phone call during corona times when there's nowhere you “need to go”.

You won't catch Sideman on a virtual holiday until month 4 of lockdown. He's got lots to say on people who are going too far for the Tik Tok videos, and also the Tik Tok ghosts.

Sideman didn't want to come to your birthday party before, nor does he now. He is feeling confused by the new 'cool down' rules and the fact that it's 'National Horny Day'.

Sideman doesn't believe that kids would be good at socially distancing at school..or that they have any laws. He's also not here for any weird combination dinners, chicken and rice only please.

Sideman's being put to shame by a 99-year-old war veteran. Plus corona dreams, Ovie Soko's haircut and social distance etiquette.

Sideman can't believe Love Island is set to be back on this summer. But he is here for it. He's also realised that his housemates are treating him in a way that is very similar to puppy training.

What's the point of a Bank Holiday when all the banks – and restaurants, clothes shops and appliance stores – are closed anyway?

Sideman isn't quite ready to eat the chocolate his roommate sat on. It's only a matter of time though.

Today's advice: run around naked, but stay away from windows. And when is it OK to put your TV on the roof?

Sideman's blindfolded himself and is hiding chocolate. Also, how long does it take a man to wash his piece of string?

There's a lot of fear and uncertainty in the world right now, so Sideman's got just the distraction you need. Come join him in lockdown and let's avoid being bored together.