ReaLove

Life is hard, and sometimes all we're doing is surviving it. How do we find get through hard things and then find contentment? That's the journey we're on in this series.

In recovering from abuse, choosing the right thing can be hard and sometimes cast you as the villain. Here's why I this Thanksgiving was hard for me. But things are going get better because you are stronger than you think, and you're not alone. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Grounding yourself in connection to yourself means offering unconditional acceptance to yourself as a whole human being, not just the parts you “like.” This is vital for survivors of abuse/trauma

Celebrate and enjoy what you're good at!!

Growing into the person you are becoming is a vital part of rebuilding your life. Find your special:)

We thrive in practicing self compassion and acceptance.

It's time to find your voice

It's time to forget everyone else and chase down your own happiness!

You are not the problem. But people shamed you into believing you were, and now it's time to break free!

It's time to leave behind survival behaviors we developed in toxic environments that won't help us in the new, healthy relationships we're building.

You courageously break the dysfunctional cycles you knew to build a good life.

It's ok to not be ok because we're moving forward in a healthy way and making progress even when it's hard.

It's time to let people go who don't celebrate your growth or honor you boundaries: it's time to fly.

Growing forward means letting go.

It feels weird at first to build a life and set boundaries and advocate for yourself. But I believe in you!!!

It's time to be happy and move forward and leave the sadness behind.

Do what makes you happy and guard it. You can enjoy your life after abuse.

You can expect equality in sex where your partner respects your boundaries.

Slow progress is the best kind, and you'll be taking practical steps forward to build a life and work on your dream.

The road to recovery from abuse and dysfunctional, toxic family systems is so hard and sometimes lonely, but also 100% worth it.

Sometimes recovery is hard, especially when you're faced with a history of people who coulda shoulda woulda been there with you and for you. But you're not alone. And I hope you get up and keep moving forward.

It's important to communicate what pleases you to your partner. A loving and caring partner will want to learn your pleasure and please you when you're intimate; but they won't know what that is unless you tell them.

You are responsibly for learning your own pleasure. To learn what you like and don't like. To know what will bring you orgasms and what won't. Today we're learning how to figure that out.

An orgasm is a explosion of stimulation on nerve endings. We can learn the basics of orgasms and learn our bodies to know how to achieve them. And if you've been a victim of sexual assault and orgasmed, it's not your fault. It was just a natural and response to nerve stimulation. It doesn't mean you enjoyed it. Sex should always be consensual. Sexual assault is NEVER your fault.

Part of gaining our sexual freedom is taking responsibility for our sexual reproductive health so we can engage in fun and healthy sexual pleasure.

It's time for resolution and peace and confidence!

So....that happened. And when we get caught in the pain we're in this awkward middle place until we learn to heal and move forward.

Come meet me the middle where everything still hurts, it's a little bit bitter, but we're still moving forward.

Moving goalposts are meant to break down your self-esteem and establish your dependence on a toxic person...so fluff the house.

Sometimes we need to admit what we want to get to the underlying drives. Like when I'm craving sex in a bubblebath with chocolate and red wine...yeah that'd be nice. But really I can break that down and see that I want acceptance and comfort, the underlying drives.

Your body and soul need self-compassion to engage in healthy self-care.

It's time to empower yourself, raising your sense of self-esteem, and then to encourage people you encounter.

It's time to let go of the voices of your past and lay those ghosts to rest. Then, you can finally move forward.

I quit my job today because I stood my ground. And I don't regret it. You won't regret finding ways to safely stand your ground in an abusive relationship either.

Have you ever frozen during confrontation like a deer in the Headlights? Well, this encouragement is for you!

When we get stuck, we focus on getting out....but sometimes we can't yet. This survival skill will help you to thrive in uncomfortable processes.

The wrap up for the previous episode. I believe in you. You should believe in you too.

We build resiliency by not giving up but also finding flexibility in the outlets we need to succeed.

You can be a little petty and use that as tinder to light your dreams and overcome adversity.

My cousin signed me up for a dating app, and I decided after the first five minutes of “swiping” that you have to be a Jellyfish among sharks, and for goodness sakes, get laughs out of it.

Whether you're falling out of the shower and taking the whole rod down late at night or your dealing with the most ridiculous situations with your abuser and/or their supporters, there is strength in laughing with yourself.

Seasons of grief drag on and on, while joy feels like just a glance. But this season is not forever, and one day you will smile and look back knowing this moment is no longer anything but a memory.

You can feel torn between believing good things should happen when you do the right thing and what you experience. What do you do when hard begets hard instead of better?

In abuse, someone is hell-bent on making you miserable and breaking down your sense of self. We're going to take it back, love ourselves, and choose happy.

Choose what makes you happy. In abuse, you experience sadness and frustration and fear. It's time to choose your happy.

Frustration turned in on yourself is so damaging. Abuse is not your fault. It's time to stop blaming yourself.

Your welcome emotions are like a chain link. In abuse, you suppressed them. But now it's time to reconnect.

Metamorphosis is messy and it sucks hard. But when you're recovering from abuse: this is normal. You're not alone, and we're walking this journey together.

It's time to unpack your emotional suitcase. Enduring an abusive relationship is like a trying to take a vacation and instead ending up in your own personal hell. There's gonna be baggage, but that's ok. We're gonna unpack it together. You're not alone.

It's time to check in with ourselves and be honest in facing our emotions. In acknowledging the instinct and feelings we've buried, we can start to heal.

It's time to stand up. To stand up for yourself against the abuse and reclaim your life again.