The Family Matters Podcast

Despite all of today's conveniences, most parents report struggling with their role. Why is this? Today we explore why this may be so, and what we can each do about it. Show Notes: PEW Reseach Study https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2007/05/02/motherhood-today-tougher-challenges-less-success/ Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community Book by Robert D. Putnam Family Focused Interventions are Key to Social Change by Kindra Heilpern https://ifstudies.org/blog/author/kindra-heilpern Joyful Mother of Children: The Magic and Mayhem of Motherhood by Linda Eyre NPR Interviews (specific interview links are yet to be found, but from them we discussed how adapting to change is the skill of the future and children struggle with anxiety now more than ever. If you find the interviews tell us and we will be so excited) Washington Post “There's Never Been A Safer Time to Be A Child in America.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/04/14/theres-never-been-a-safer-time-to-be-a-kid-in-america/ Babies (2010) Annette Lareau coined the phrase “intensive parenting” in her 2003 book, “Unequal Childhoods, Sharon Hays, “The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood” 1998 ⅔ of mothers feel shamed about their parenting practices (http://mottnpch.org/reports-surveys/mom-shaming-or-constructive-criticism-perspectives-mothers) PEW Research Study "Parenting in America" (https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/12/17/parenting-in-america/)

If you're struggling in your role as a mom, start by listening to this conversation. "For Deep Thinkers Only: How Culture Manipulates Your Reality" by Dr. John J. Ivers Peter Pan 1953 Film by Disney "Family Work" by Kathleen Slaugh Bahr and Cheri A. Loveless The Arbinger Institute Books "The Road to Character" by David Brooks "In Praise of Scruffy Hospitality" by Robin Shreeves Dr. Wallace Goddard Linda Eyre from valuesparenting.com "Giving Our Spirits Control Over Our Bodies" by President M, Russell Ballard "The Women of God" by Elder Neal A. Maxwell

We all want our kids to turn out great. We want fuzzy feelings, joy filled interactions, happy memories, rainbows, butterflies: all the things. Yet in the day to day, parenting often feels like a battle between these idealistic desires and the realities of helping little people figure out this world. In this podcast episode we lay out foundational tools that will help you create a positive, loving relationship with your child. These tools will aid your quest to help your child become their best self. Sources Used: "Bringing Up Bebe: One American Woman Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting" by Pamela Druckerman Diana Baumrind Parenting Styles "Power of Positive Parenting" by Glenn I. Latham "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" Dr. John Gottman The Incredible Years: Parents, teachers and children training series "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." Theodore Hesburgh PRIDE Skills - 5 minutes a day!

In today's episode we discuss improving physical intimacy in stable, normal marriages. We show the role a robust sex life plays in marriage and examine popular questions couples have and look to research for advice about what they can realistically do to enjoy the best intimacy possible. Thanks for joining us! Show Notes: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Jon Gottman Enduring Desire: Your Guide to Lifelong Intimacy by Barry W. McCarthy and Michael E. Metz The Sex Starved Marriage by Michelle Weiner-Davis Fighting for Your Marriage by Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley and Susan L. Blumberg

Have you ever worried about how a new baby will affect your marriage? Join us as we discuss how we can best manage the inevitable stress of transitional events and come away stronger than ever. If you've ever wondered how to best prepare as a couple for a new baby, look no further than this episode. Thanks for your download! Show Notes: Canary, D. J., Stafford, L., Semic, B. A. (2002). A panel study of the associations between maintenance strategies and relational characteristics. Journal of Marriage and Family. 64(2)395-406. Cherlin, A. Demography (1977) The effect of children on marriage dissolution. Demography. 14(3), 265-272. doi:10.2307/2060785 Glenn, N. D., McLanahan, S.(1982). Children and marital happiness: A further specification of the relationship. Journal of Marriage and Family. 44(1), 63-72. Hawkins, A. J., Dollahite, D. C., & Draper, T. W. (2012). Successful marriages and families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University. Madanian, L., & Mansor, S. S. (2013). Marital satisfaction and demographic traits in an emigrant sample: Rasch analysis. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, 107, 96-1-3. McCubbin, H. I., McCubbin, M. A., & Thompson, A. I. (1997). Families under stress: what makes them resilient. Journal of Family & Consumer Sciences, 892, 11. Olson, J. R., Goddard, H. W., Marshall, J. P., & Schramm, D. G. (2015). Shared religious beliefs, prayer and forgiveness as predictors of marital satisfaction. Family Relations, 64(4), 519 533. Twenge, J. M., Campbell, W. K., Foster, C. A. (2003). Parenthood and marital satisfaction: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65(3) 574-583. VanLaningham, J., Johnson, D. R., Amato, P. (2001). Marital happiness, marital duration, and the U shaped curve: Evidence from a five-wave panel study. Soc Forces, 79 (4): 1313 1341. White, L. K., Booth, A., Edwards, J. N. (2016). Children and Marital Happiness. Journal of Family Issues, 7(2), 131-147. Yedirir, S., & Harmarta, E. (2015). Emotional expression and spousal support as predictors of marital satisfaction: The case of Turkey. Education Sciences: Theory & Practice, 15(6), 1549-1558. Image of couple praying found at: http://www.catholic.org/news/hf/family/story.php?id=63183

Building Friendship in Our Marriage In this episode we discuss ways to develop friendship with our spouse by drawing upon principles 1-3 in John Gottman's book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. We share personal experiences as well as look at research about the importance of friendship in marriage. Listeners will be given concrete, practical ways to improve their marital friendship. Thanks for stopping by! Show Notes Rachel Talbot Graphic Design contact at: talbot.rw@gmail.com Gottman, J.M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: a practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. New York: Harmony Books. **Specifically discussed principles 1-3 The Gottman Institute found at: https://www.gottman.com/ The Five Love Languages found at: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ Chapman, G. D. (2004). The five love languages: how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. Chicago: Northfield Pub. Weird ways couples say I love you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzJXzBX9VYQ It's not about the nail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg Quote from Simply Luxurious Life: “Each and everyone of us, I believe, wants to feel special. Not necessarily special to everyone or a grand group, but to at least a handful of people who truly care as to how we are doing and would miss us terribly if we weren't in their lives.” Found at: http://www.thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/why-not-make-someone-feel-special/

In this episode we discuss the importance of developing financial unity within our marriages. We also explain a number of principles of personal finance that may help you and your spouse find peace within your finances. Thanks for listening! Show Notes “According to a 2009 study by Jeffrey Dew at the Utah State University, one of the best indicators of marital discord is what he terms "financial disagreements." Couples who "disagree about finances once a week" are over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples that report "disagreeing about finances a few times a month…Disagreeing about finance means fighting about money.” Found at: http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/main/u-s-divorce-rates-and-statistics-1037.shtml Longitudinal study about financial unity in marriage: Dew, J., Britt, S., & Huston, S. (2012). Examining the relationships between financial issues and divorce. Family Relations, 61(4), 615-628 Dave Ramsey's article from Focus on the Family found at: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/money-and-finances/pursuing-financial-unity/pursuing-financial-unity Dave Ramsey materials: https://www.daveramsey.com/ Mint.com

In this episode we discuss John Gottman's famous "Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse" and ways to avoid them in our marital communication. Listen if you want to learn ways to instantly improve communication with your spouse. We share relevant research and lots of experiences that will help you with your marriage. Thanks for listening! Show Notes The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/ Four Horsemen principles come from: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. Jon Gottman Quote from family champion President Spencer W. Kimball: "While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be, more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person." Kimball, S.W. Oneness in marriage, Retrieved April 21, 2017, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1977/03/oneness-in-marriage?lang=eng