Podcasts about The Five Love Languages

Many Christian singles wonder: Can a relationship work if you and your potential partner vote differently? Political differences in Christian dating have become one of the biggest challenges for believers seeking godly marriage. With heated elections, social media echo chambers, and cultural flashpoints, it's easy to feel like politics could derail God's will for your love life. The good news? Scripture offers clear wisdom. Unity in Christ transcends political parties, yet wisdom and discernment remain essential when considering a lifelong […] The post Political Differences in Christian Dating Relationships: Can Love Survive Different Views? appeared first on Christian Singles Advice | Christian Dating Advice Tips. Related posts: Dating People From Different Political Views How Christian Singles Can Remain Loving and Peaceful Amidst Political Polemics Marrying Someone With Different Political Views Navigating Cultural Differences in Intercultural Christian Dating Understanding the Five Love Languages in Christian Relationships

Most people who know the five love languages have tried speaking their partner's language — and wondered why it still isn't working. The problem usually isn't the language. It's something underneath it.Dr. Gary Chapman returns with new research showing how personality, empathy, and the subtle dialects within each love language determine whether love actually lands. In this conversation, he and Michael explore why speaking someone's love language can backfire if it runs against their personality, what it looks like to confuse encouragement with pressure, and why the most important question in a marriage might be as simple as "How can I make your life easier?"At 88 years old, Chapman also shares the turning point in his own marriage — a vision of Jesus washing his disciples' feet that changed not his technique, but his posture.Dr. Gary Chapman is a marriage counselor, pastor, and author of The Five Love Languages, which has sold over 20 million copies worldwide, and his newest book, The Love Language That Matters Most.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

What if the reason you feel depleted, disconnected, or like you just can't hear your own intuition — is because nobody ever taught you how to love yourself in the way your soul actually needs?Most of us are incredible at pouring love into the people around us. But when it comes to ourselves? Empty cup. Running on fumes.In this episode I'm taking Gary Chapman's “Five Love Languages” and turning them completely inward. We're talking about what each one looks like when you apply it to yourself, why it matters spiritually, and practical ways to actually start filling your own cup in the language your soul speaks.You'll learn:What all five love languages look like as self-love practicesWhy self-abandonment creates energetic and intuitive blocksHow to identify your primary self-love languageThe one-week challenge to start shifting your energy now✨This one comes with homework. The good kind.Show notes:Take the free love languages quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com Dr. Kristin Neff's self-compassion research: https://self-compassion.orgGet Joy's Free "Sign Magnet" 3 Day Mini Course HERE https://www.joyfulmedium.com/sign-magnetJoy's Website: www.joyfulmedium.comInstagram: @JoyfulMediumTikTok: @JoyfulMediumFacebook: @JoyfulMediumFacebook Group: Joy's Soul SpaYouTube: Psychic Medium Joy Giovanni 

Best-selling author and counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, explains what the 5 love languages ARE, and how to translate the languages into the workplace. Hear Dr. Chapman's full interview in Episode 206 of The Action Catalyst.

El programa de Inteligencia Emocional de La Radio Canaria abordará cómo evitar rupturas mediante la escucha activa, el conocimiento de los lenguajes del amor y la gestión de la limerencia El programa ‘Siempre nos quedará París', dirigido y presentado por Rosa Vidal, explorará como el entendimiento y la expresión emocional adecuada actúan como herramientas preventivas ante el conflicto y el sufrimiento innecesario en el seno de la pareja. El espacio de La Radio Canaria contará, en esta ocasión, con la colaboración de Esther Pradilla, abogada, mediadora y coach, que compartirá su experiencia profesional en la resolución de conflictos y el acompañamiento a parejas en crisis. Bajo el título ‘​Cariño, tenemos que hablar',durante la emisión se explicará cómo muchas relaciones no se rompen por falta de amor, sino por falta de entendimiento, escucha y expresión emocional adecuada, señala la conductora del espacio Rosa Vidal. En este sentido, se profundiza en la teoría de Gary Chapman, autor de ‘The Five Love Languages' (en español ‘Los 5 lenguajes del amor'), que identifica cinco formas principales en que las personas expresan y reciben cariño: palabras de afirmación, tiempo de calidad, regalos, actos de servicio y contacto físico. También, en que la compresión de estos lenguajes permite que cada miembro de la pareja se sienta valorado, visto y acompañado, reduciendo malentendidos emocionales muy frecuentes.

As Diane ventures on her challenge to have 50 friends by her 50th birthday (three and a half years to do it), people keep asking: how do you maintain friendships when you're a busy woman? Listen as she reveals not just how to do it, but the new way to build and maintain meaningful friendships as a busy woman. Our host, Diane Rolston, shares the fourth and final episode in her “Friendships” series with practical strategies that don't require more time or money.Listen to learn these key takeaways:Why friendships don't have to be forged over years and years or long dinners and big plans, and what actually works better for busy womenThe three non-traditional ways Diane has built friendshipsWhy "if you don't schedule it, it doesn't happen," and the simple practice of reaching out without a reason is always well-receivedThe chiropractor's booking strategy that ensures you actually see your friends again (instead of months going by while you're too busy to even book it)How to shift focus from knowing lots of people to making meaningful connections and the powerful questions to askThe friendship language concept: applying the Five Love Languages to discover what your friend actually needsThe game-changing new way: what if friendship wasn't another task but blended naturally into your life?The vacuum story: why seeing a friend's unvacuumed house made Diane happyTwo action questions to answer todayThe truth? We don't need more time or money to build deeper friendships. We just need intention and innovation to do life together. Reach out to somebody today. We weren't meant to do life alone.SPECIAL: Join Diane for the 7th Anniversary of the Dynamic Women Podcast! Ask burning questions, share your favourite episode, or hear about the podcast's progression. Register here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/7WEKYaXRQVmaRPBIIUWpjwWant to be invited to join Diane's NEW high-level, like-minded group of women? Email her at diane@dianerolston.com.Do you prefer reading blogs or watching videos?Read Diane's blogs here: https://www.dianerolston.com/blogWatch Diane's videos here: https://www.youtube.com/@CoachDianeRolstonThis show's host, Diane Rolston, is called THE Expert on Being Dynamic and living a Dynamic Life. She specializes in coaching high-achieving women who want to be successful AND satisfied. She is a Certified Professional Coach, International Speaker, 11-time Author, and host of the five-time award-winning Dynamic Women Podcast, ranked in the top 2.5% of podcasts.Diane has been recognized with multiple awards for her professional accomplishments and for the powerful impact she has on the women she inspires and empowers. Chicken Soup for the Soul co-creator Jack Canfield describes her as “an amazing woman” doing “incredible work helping women develop holistic lives of balance.”Through her program, VA Made Easy, she helps entrepreneurs go from task overwhelm to business ease by hiring and training Virtual Assistants for them while also providing proven systems, processes, and strategies for success.Outside of her work, Diane is a mother of two, a soccer player, and a stand-up comedy rookie, always embracing new challenges and personal growth.You're invited to reach out to Diane and visit her website: www.dianerolston.com Check out what Diane is up to and other opportunities here: linktr.ee/dianerolstonConnect with me on your favourite social platform:https://www.facebook.com/LifeCoachDianehttps://www.linkedin.com/in/dianercoaching/https://twitter.com/DianeRCoachinghttps://www.instagram.com/coachdianerolston/https://www.youtube.com/user/DianeRolstonCoachingPersonal Email: diane@dianerolston.comDiane believes we are not defined by our titles or our roles. Instead, we are more powerful and happy when we can be who we are. This brought out her book Dynamic You™, based on a successful program, where she reveals the secret code to confident, wealthy, and successful women and leads women to unleash the Dynamic Woman™ in them!Grab your copy of Diane's autographed Dynamic You™ Book at a special Discount:https://www.dianerolston.com/store/p3/Autographed_Dynamic_You%E2%84%A2_Book.htmlThanks for listening!It means so much to us that you listened to our podcast!With this podcast, we are building an international community of Dynamic Women®. We aim to inspire more women to unleash their dynamic selves and enhance their lives across all areas, particularly in business. If you know someone who would benefit from this message or would be an awesome addition to our community, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? 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PRACTICAL Wisdom for Parenting Adult Children with Dr. Gary Chapman (Episode 291)   John 15:5 NIV ““I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”   *Transcription Below*   Dr. Gary Chapman is an experienced and well-respected family counselor, and a well-known author having written more than forty books. He hosts a nationally syndicated radio program, A Love Language Minute, and a Saturday morning program, Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, that air on more than 400 stations.   The 5 Love Languages, one of Chapman's most popular titles, topped various bestseller charts for years. It has been published in more than 50 languages, sold more than 14 million copies and is currently on the New York Times best-seller list. Dr. Chapman has been directly involved in real-life family counseling for more than 40 years.   Dr. Chapman holds B.A. and M.A. degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively. He received his Ph.D. degree from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and has taken postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University.   Dr. Chapman and his wife, Karolyn, have been married for more than 45 years and reside in Winston- Salem, N.C. The Chapmans have two grown children, Shelley and Derek.   5 Love Languages Website   Thank you to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank   Questions and Topics We Cover: Are there any other practical things we can be doing now, while our children are still in the home, that ideally sets us up for a healthy relationship once they launch out of our home?  For parents approaching the new season of parenting young adults, what are the best practices for navigating this transition? If we do find ourselves in a season where our adult child and maybe his/her family is living with us, what guidelines do you suggest to honor both parties?   Previous Episodes of the Savvy Sauce with Dr. Gary Chapman: 85 Five Love Languages with Dr. Gary Chapman 182 Things I Wish I'd Known Before My Child Became a Teenager with Dr. Gary Chapman 191 Friendships Heal Racial Divides with Dr. Clarence Shuler and Dr. Gary Chapman 220 Cultivating Healthy Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman   Related Articles: Family Discipleship Tools My 10 Favorite Parenting Books How Can I Enjoy My Kids More?   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*‍ ‍   Music: (0:00 - 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 2:04) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger. I'm so glad you're here.   Thank you to an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank, who paid the sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness. Learn more about this amazing nonprofit organization at MidwestFoodBank.org.   Dr. Gary Chapman is my amazing returning guest. I'm going to link to his other episodes on The Savvy Sauce, where we've covered a variety of topics, from the five love languages in marriage or in families, parenting teenagers, and just overall creating a loving home and family environment.   But today, we're going to actually focus on a later stage of life, parenting adult children. Whenever I get a chance to talk with Dr. Gary Chapman, he just oozes wisdom on every topic that we've covered, and I know you're going to feel the same way after concluding the message today. I've just noticed this theme that anytime I talk to somebody who's a few seasons ahead of me, they consistently said the same thing, that their hardest stage of parenting was parenting adult children.   And that shocked me, so I wanted to seek out the wisdom of somebody who's gone before us and bring in this expert who can give us wise counsel so that all of us can delight in parenting well and enjoying all of the seasons. Dr. Gary Chapman is going to do exactly that today.   Here's our chat. Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Chapman.   Dr. Gary Chapman: (2:04 - 2:07) Well, thank you. I'm delighted to be with you again.   Laura Dugger: (2:07 - 2:40) Well, our main topic for today is going to be about parenting adult children, especially after completing your amazing resource. But I think it'd first be helpful to back up a little bit and just have you share how we can be proactive now while our children are still in the home. If we're hoping to have wonderful relationships when we launch our children, when they're grown adults.   So, can you just start off by sharing the dangers of both under-parenting and over-parenting?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (2:41 - 7:35) Well, I think, first of all, as parents, we have to keep in mind we have 18 years. Because in our culture at 18, they're typically going to college, get a job or join the military. So, we have to be thinking independence.   That is doing everything we can to help them to be able to take care of themselves. And when we're not around. So, first of all, I think it means that we need to make sure we are expressing love to them in a way that's meaningful to them.   That our children feel loved. I've often said to parents, the question is not, do you love your children? The question is, do your children feel loved?   And that's where the five love languages of children and the five-love language of teenagers has helped so many parents realize what makes one child feel loved doesn't make another child feel loved. So, you have to discover their love language and on a regular basis be speaking that love language to them. I think another factor is that I would encourage parents, especially if they're in the teenage years or 10 and up, have maybe once a month have breakfast with one child.   Take them out to breakfast, just one child, so that you can talk about whatever they want to talk about. And you can talk about whatever you want to talk about. But if they know that that's a part of life and that's where they can ask you questions when nobody's around, and you can have conversations with them.   I just found that with my own kids. That was great. And they say to me, they look back on that as a very positive experience, is having that individual time with me.   Of course, we only had two children. Now, if you have five children, and I only did it once a month, but five once a month would be every week, I guess. But it's just an idea.   But I think if they feel loved, and they feel like that we're a safe place where they can talk about and ask questions about things, and we can talk openly, that's a big part of getting them ready. The other thing that I've suggested to couples is, what if you make a list? And if your children are 10 or up, let them help you make a list of all the things they would like to know how to do by the time they're 18.   And some of them may say, well, I'd like to learn how to cook, or I'd like to learn how to boil eggs. Or I might like to learn how to take a tire off of my car, put it back on, put the spare on. Amazing, you know, what they might want to do.   And that may vary with each child. But you ought to think in terms of what would you like for them to be able to do. And then you want to be working on those things while they're still with you.   If you want them to be able to make up their own bed, you can start that at five years old. You know, by the time they get to be 18, they got it down. If you don't want them to know how to make up a bed, then they're going to go to college and never make up a bed. And they're going to get married and never make up a bed.   And if they marry somebody that thinks a bed ought to be made up, then they got a conflict. So, it can be little things like that.   But I do think that for most parents, they would hope that the children will learn a little bit about cooking. You know, because we have to eat. And it's an advantage.   Anybody that gets married is happy if they marry somebody that knows how to cook. Whether it's the husband or the wife. So, I think that's a huge issue.   But keeping the flow of communication open with the children so that they feel like they're safe with you. That they can communicate with you. That is huge.   And I'll be very honest; there are a lot of parents that don't do that. They're so involved in their work and in other activities that they don't really talk with their kids very much. You know, they might watch a ball game together or something, but they don't really talk about life.   And consequently, when the kids go off and they don't feel a real attachment to you, they're far more out there on their own now. And they're likely going to have more problems than if they had a close connection with you. Because if they have a close connection, even in college, they'll ask you questions.   They'll communicate with you. And communication is the lifeblood of relationship. So, anything you can do to foster that. Wonderful.   Laura Dugger: (7:37 - 8:03) So great. I love those practical tips for what we can be doing now. And I'm just curious, with all of your travels and speaking around the world, and throughout the decades, just seeing changes, do you have any caution for parents of what to avoid or even what to focus on currently to set them up well for their relationship in the future with their adult child?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (8:04 - 10:42) I think one is talking to them about what they think they might like to do when they grow up. Having those kinds of conversations. And what that might look like.   Because our daughter, for example, when she was eight years old, said to us, “When I grow up, I'm going to be a doctor.” And we said, “Well, honey, if that's what God wants, then that would be fine.” But in high school, she took four years of Latin.   Three years of chemistry in high school. She was serious. And so, if they say they want to be something, then you have to help them think about what kind of requirements would that be to do what you're thinking about doing.   And another thing would be to, in high school, let them have conversations with somebody that you might know in your church or your circle that does that. If they think they'd like to be a businessperson, for example, or sell cars, or run a business, or try to have a conversation. And most adults who are in a business or who are doing anything, they'd be happy to talk to a teenager that thinks they'd like to do this.   And that person can give them great advice in terms of what you might be doing now in high school and what you might do if you go to college and all that sort of thing. So, I think because vocation is a huge part of life. And I think the other thing, of course, is we need to be sharing our faith.   If we're Christians, we need to be sharing our faith with them. And to me, that means things like the very beginning, as early as you can start it, having a devotional time for the whole family every night. And what my wife and I did when they're just all the way along, one of us would go to the bed with them when we put them to bed and get on our knees beside the bed and pray with them.   And if they get older, then they start praying. But when they see when we teach them our faith, and of course, having them involved in a church and all that sort of thing is so very helpful to kids. And in the teenage years, for them to have a place to go and do things with other Christian kids.   Again, you know, the church can't raise kids. That's our responsibility. But the church can be a real source of help with our children, where they can interface and have other people that are teaching them things about God and about life.   So, all of that, I think, is important.   Laura Dugger: (10:43 - 11:22) I love that. I'm hearing themes of open communication both ways, where we're sharing and imparting and discipling, but they're also expressing their wants or needs or desires. And I think also a theme of purpose, instilling purpose in them, which gives a great vision for long term.   But now let's speak to parents who are approaching this new season of maybe their teenager turning 18 or moving out. And now the parents are finding themselves transitioning to parenting young adults. So, what are the best practices for navigating this transitional season?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (11:23 - 15:48) Well, that's why I wrote this book. Because a lot of parents' struggle. And some over parent, you know, after they moved out, they over parent.   They want to keep talking with them every single day and tell them what they ought to be doing and all that kind of stuff. And the child feels like, you know, I can do some things on my own, you know. And then some are under parent.   They just, if they go to college, they go to college. They might talk to them once a week or something, you know. So, I think we have to just think in terms of what feels good for the child, you know.   Because you to call them when you don't know their schedule, you probably have a hard time. Far better to ask them, how would you like to talk for us to talk? And when would be a good time in your schedule that you could call us, you know.   So, I think working out some things about how much contact we're going to have because they want a sense of freedom. And they should have. And we've been training them for independence.   So, but we also want to keep in contact with them. We want to, you know, have some ongoing time with them. And depending on now many times today, they're living at home while they go to college.   So, you have an extended opportunity. To have an influence on their lives. But that's where you have to talk about, now what's our pattern going to be?   Because you're going off to college, but you're going to be coming home every night to be here. And we're happy about that, you know. If that's what you want to do.   Obviously it's saving money for the parents because they don't have to pay for a dorm room. So, but we talk about, you know, can we agree on kind of a bedtime? Because if you're out at one o'clock, you know, I have a hard time sleeping.   Because you just, you know, I think, wonder what's happened to them, you know. So, could we have a kind of a set time that you shoot to be home? And if you realize there's something turned up, you would call me.   You call one of us and say, you know, I know I normally get home at whatever time, but right now this is what's happened. So, I need to do this and all. Okay, honey, okay.   That's fine. You don't want to over control them. But if you're going to be home, you have to think about yourself as well as them.   Because you've got a life to live. Your life has to go on while they're developing their new lifestyle. So, I think conversations again, it's really important at that stage of life.   And keeping in contact but not over controlling them. And I'd say make suggestions rather than like giving your advice. You know, just to say, you know, you ought to do this.   Or maybe now they're looking for a job, you know. And you say, well, you ought to get that, you ought to get that resume sent in today if you want to get a job. And now you're putting pressure on them, you know.   But you could say just as easily, you know, one suggestion that I'd suggest that you think about is maybe getting in your application as soon as possible. Because probably the sooner you get it in, the more likely you might, you know, be able to get the job. So rather than telling them what they need to do, make suggestions rather than demands.   Because again, we want to foster independence. We don't want to control their lives. We want them to be free to make decisions.   But if they ask advice, it's fine. Give them advice if they ask advice. If they don't, it's okay to give them a suggestion.   But give it as a suggestion, not as something, well, you ought to do this, you know. So, we don't want to over-control them. Otherwise, we're really going to push them away.   No young person wants to be over-controlled by their parents. And yet, they need our input. And if we have a positive relationship, they'll probably ask us for our input, you know. It's a good relationship.   Laura Dugger: (15:50 - 17:50) I think that really requires humility on both sides. And that's great and worthwhile to cultivate that in any phase of life. ‍ ‍   And now a brief message from our sponsor.   Midwest Food Bank exists to provide industry-leading food relief to those in need while feeding them spiritually. They are a food charity with a desire to demonstrate God's love by providing help to those in need. Unlike other parts of the world where there's not enough food, in America, the resources actually do exist.   That's why food pantries and food banks like Midwest Food Bank are so important. The goods that they deliver to their agency partners help to supplement the food supply for families and individuals across our country, aiding those whose resources are beyond stretched. Midwest Food Bank also supports people globally through their locations in Haiti and East Africa which are some of the areas hardest hit by hunger arising from poverty.   This ministry reaches millions of people every year and thanks to the Lord's provision, 99% of every donation goes directly toward providing food to people in need. The remaining 1% of income is used for fundraising, costs of leadership, oversight, and other administrative expenses. Donations, volunteers, and prayers are always appreciated for Midwest Food Bank.   To learn more, visit MidwestFoodBank.org or listen to episode 83 of The Savvy Sauce where the founder, David Kieser, shares miracles of God that he's witnessed through this nonprofit organization. I hope you check them out today.   Also, Dr. Chapman, have you noticed any universal challenges or frustrations from both sides, from adult children and the parents who have raised them just in that phase of life, maybe things that we can be prepared for?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (17:50 - 23:36) Yeah. Well, I think one thing is that there are a lot of young adults who feel like their parents are trying to control their lives and that's not a positive thing. I think there are a lot of parents that are very disturbed over the decisions their young adult children are making.   And this is hard. I can understand that. It's hard.   When you see them, for example, telling you, I've decided not to go to church this semester or I've decided, I don't think I want to go to church anymore. Well, you come down hard on them and say, now, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da. You're just pushing them away.   Far better to ask questions. That's interesting, honey. What leads you to say that?   And then just keep asking questions. Keep asking questions. And then I think we have to do what God does.   We have to give them freedom. And we can honestly say, after we've listened to them and they tell us why, we can say, well, you know, it's your decision, honey. I mean, you're an adult now and it's your decision.   You know that. I'm not real happy about it, but it's your life. And, you know, again, whatever kind of relationship you've had with them spiritually and how you shared with them spiritually is going to have an impact here.   But I think parents have a hard time when their children make decisions that hurt them. You know whether it's moral decisions or whether it's spiritual decisions or whatever the decision. But what we don't want to do is cut them off.   Because if we say, “Well, if that's the lifestyle you're going to live, I don't want you in my house anymore.” And there are parents that have said those kinds of things. Now you've lost all opportunity to have a positive influence on them. And it was your choice.   Now, if they break off from you, and this happens a lot too, where a parent, a child is deciding a lifestyle that they know their parents don't like. And the parents have come down on them really hard.   And every time they get together, they're preaching them a sermon. And the adult child says, well, I'm just not going to have contact with you. Every time I come home, you're on my case.   I'm not going to answer your phone. And I'm not going to answer your text. Well, again, we can't keep them from doing that.   But what we want to do is to try to keep the relationship open and not demanding things of them so that they won't cut us off. Because if they cut us off or we cut them off, we've lost opportunity to have an impact on their lives.   So even if we disagree with them, and as I said, “God gives his children freedom. If you want to disobey God, you can. You'll suffer the consequences, but you can.” And we have to give them the same freedom.   And we can say things like, honey, it hurts me that you're choosing to do that. But I want you to know that I love you. And I will love you no matter what.   And I will pray for you. I love you. And if you ever want to talk further about this, I'd be happy to talk further with you.   But I love you, even though I disagree, obviously, with what you're choosing. But that kind of approach is far healthier. And chances are, listen, the prodigal son's father didn't go out there trying to bring him back.   He waited till God brought his son to the pig pen. And if they're making poor decisions, they're going to end up in the pig pen. But now, they've got a picture in their mind of a parent who loved them.   And they do what the prodigal son did. I'd be better off working on the farm at home than out here in the pig pen. And they come home.   And, you know, they come home often with regret. And then we receive them back. And now we're reunited.   Now we've got another chance here. But I think as parents, you know, we're so concerned. And I understand that.   And we should be concerned. And we want them to make wise decisions and make lifestyle choices that we know are healthy and we know are right. And it breaks our heart when they're not.   But because out of our pain, we often make poor decisions ourselves. You know, we retreat them in a way that's negative and condemning and demanding. And so, they walk away.   Far better to express the truth about how you feel. They already know they're hurting you. But you express it to them.   But you let them know I love you and I will always love you no matter what you do. Now you've kept the door open.   Laura Dugger: (23:38 - 24:01) And I think the fruit of the spirit that really stands out in that response is gentleness and that that would go a long way. But also, if we are at that phase of parenting adult children, a lot of times around that time comes grandparenting as well. So, do you have any wise counsel for grandparents?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (24:02 - 27:21) Yeah, I would say. And again, a lot depends on how close you are physically. If you live in North Carolina where I live and your grandkids live in Portland, Oregon, that's one thing, you know.   But if you live in the same town as a grandparent, you might be keeping them after school when they get out of school. You know, the kids, you were keeping them. Now they're, you know, of course, they grow up.   But I think grandparents can play a key role in the lives of children. And the earlier it starts, the better. And even if they do live far away, you can still have contact.   Now we can do FaceTime. We can see them. They can see us.   You know, you can do that when they're four years old or three years old. So, I think having that kind of contact if they live away from you is really, really good. And you can even play games, you know, online with them at different stages and all.   So, the more you do when they're little to build a bond between them, the more likely they are when they get older to keep in contact with you. For example, my granddaughter, who is 25 now, she calls her grandmother, my wife, she calls her every Sunday afternoon at three o'clock. And if she, if something in her work schedule or whatever doesn't allow it, she'll send her a text and say, Grandma, I can't call you at three today, but I'm going to call you at five because of da-da-da-da-da.   That's absolutely wonderful, you know. And so, I think we build that relationship when they're young and chances are as grandparents, then we will have a positive contact with them as they grow up in the future. And again, we're not, we have to remember as grandparents, two things.   Number one, I'm not the parent. The parents are the ones who set the rules. But I am a grandparent.   And so, when they're at my house, I'm not going to violate the parent's rules. Whatever the rules are of the parents, that's okay. But we're going to do some things, you know, when we're together that maybe your parents don't do with you.   Maybe they don't take walks. Maybe they don't take you to the park. Again, depending on the age, you know.   But if you live close as they grow up, you try to stay involved in their activities. If they're into sports or if they're in a play at school, as grandparents, you try to go to those things, you know, which communicates to them, man, they care about me. So, the more you can be involved in their lives when they're young, the better the chances are that you will have a positive relationship with them when they get to be adults.   And again, I think grandparents can have a tremendous impact on their grandchildren.   Laura Dugger: (27:22 - 28:34) I completely agree and it's fascinating sometimes to see the same lesson that we're trying to teach as parents. Sometimes it just takes one grandparent to reiterate that or to share it and it clicks for our kids. So, there is a supernatural, even anointing, it seems, on that relationship.   Do you love The Savvy Sauce? Do you gain anything when you listen? Did you know that the two ways we earn money to keep this podcast live is through generous contributions from listeners?   And from our paying sponsors? That means we can promote your business and you're still supporting The Savvy Sauce. It's a win-win.   Please email us today at info at the SavvySauce.com to inquire about pricing for sponsoring each episode. Thank you for your consideration.   Is there also any research that you've come across for factors that set adult children up well to be healthy in their relationships and independent from relying on their parents and just well-adjusted overall?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (28:35 - 32:49) You know, I don't know specific research percentages and that sort of thing, but I do know that there's an awful lot of young adults today that are not mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally healthy. And there's a lot of reasons for that because many young adults have grown up in homes where their parents divorced and that's had a tremendous impact on them. And loneliness is a pandemic on college campuses today all over the country where the students feel isolated.   They don't have not made friends at the university and they don't know how to have relationships. Many times, they've been on the cell phone and online. Their whole life is connected to the screen and they don't know, they don't have social skills.   They don't know how to have conversations. So, which is really sad. And sometimes grandparents can step in when parents maybe, you know, are for whatever reason not stepping in.   Sometimes, of course, one of the parents has died. Sometimes one of the parents has problems that limit what they can do. And grandparents can step in and be an adult figure who relates to this young adult and has an open door at their house.   You can always come to grandma's, you know, that kind of thing. So, it's a troubled, it's a troubled world for young adults today. And many times, they have a hard time getting a job and they move back home with their parents.   And, and because many of them can't afford an apartment. So, if they get a job, you know, and they can come back home and live with the parents, that's going to help them and make it possible for them to survive. And so, as parents, even though, you know, we all think of a time that we're going to have an empty nest, when they come back, see it as another opportunity just to have a positive impact on them.   But I would suggest that when they move back in that situation, you have conversations from the very beginning on how can we organize this now because you're an adult now. It's not like you're a child. But how can we organize it so that it's good for everybody and so that, you know, you feel good about it, we feel good about it.   Now, we're not going to charge you rent because we know that's, you know, but you are going to be back in the family now. So, let's think in terms of like, you know, what kind of chores could you do that would be helpful to us? And what can we do that would be helpful to you?   And let's talk about schedules and, you know, just talk about whatever you can think that you'd like to discuss so that each of you have an idea of how this is going to work rather than nobody talking about it, but the parents have ideas of what it ought to be like, but the adult child has ideas of what it ought to be like and they're different. And so, you end up in conflict with each other. Far better to have open conversations to start with .   And we can change it if we need to. We can talk about it again in two months and see if it's working or not working. But this is also teaching them a skill on how to relate to people because all of life they're going to be relating to people.   So, that can be a positive thing and not a negative thing. But, again, sometimes this becomes real contentious because the parents pictured one thing, the young adult pictures another thing, and it becomes an adversarial kind of situation.   Laura Dugger: (32:51 - 33:43) Well, and you even address that in your book. You share some guidelines for both parties. And so, I'll list these off.   Feel free to elaborate if there are any that you want to say more about. But you recommend clarifying those expectations and maintaining open communication, balancing freedom and responsibility, honoring your moral values I think you give, for instance, if you're a Christian and your adult child does not want to go to church or have their children go to church, how to navigate that, considering your own physical and mental health, setting time limits and goals, being pleasant and firm, and then you also talk about how to deal with anger. So, is there anything you'd want to elaborate on that?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (33:43 - 37:16) I think all of those things are important. You know, just remember now, as parents, it is your house and your moral values, you know, you want to have them respect that. For example, if you do not do alcohol at all, you need to say to them, now honey, you know that we don't drink alcohol if you think they do.   So, don't bring alcohol in the home. Okay? Can we just agree on that?   If you drink a beer, that's you, somewhere else, but don't do it here because we just don't like that. You know, that's fine. It's your house.   They're adults. So, and they'll respect that. They'll respect that.   So, I think, you know, and again, you just say, we're not going to make you go to church because you're an adult. That's your decision. If you would like to go to church, you know, there is a young adult group at our church that I think you might fit into and you might feel good about.   You know, you can try it out and see what you think. Or if you have a church that doesn't offer that, you can say, you know, I don't think our church has a young adult group, but there is a church in town that I understand has a really good young adult group. So, you might want to visit that church and kind of plug into that and see what you think.   You know, so we're not, again, demanding that they, you know, go to our church with us every Sunday, but we are trying to help them and give them some possibilities, you know, what they might do. So, all those things are really important. And I think setting some limits and goals also to say, how long do you think it might be before, I know you want to, I know you want to be independent.   Someday you may want to get married. I don't know, but how long do you think it might take before you would, you know, be able to, you know, find your own place or whatever? It doesn't matter to us, but I'm just thinking out loud with you so we can all kind of have some goals and things that we can have in the back of our minds.   We can change them later if we want to but talking to those kinds of things like that is helpful because both of you then have a framework in which to, you know, and maybe they're coming back. Maybe they drop out of college and they're back home because they don't have a job. They don't have anywhere to go.   And so to talk about, you know, maybe what could be done while you are here that might prepare you for a job, you know, and let them share the kind of job they might have an interest in and then see if there's a local technical school that's teaching, you know, people how to do that particular thing, you know, find out about it and say, well, you know, this course is available and we would be willing to pay for it if you'd be interested in doing that because if you have an interest, I understand it's a really good school and you're far more likely to get a job if you've had the training that they give over there, you know. So it may just be a year-long thing for, you know, training just one year, but helping them if they're struggling socially or relationally, mentally, then try to find whatever helps available in the community that they might plug into that could help them move toward being independent.   Laura Dugger: (37:16 - 37:38) I love that. Reaching maturity, independence, and then also you really did focus on the parents, the importance of them taking care of themselves and their marital relationship because that will change the dynamic if an adult child moves back in or if they move back in with their kids.   Dr. Gary Chapman: (37:38 - 38:59) Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's very different and I think as the parents, we don't want to spend time with each other silent, I mean, personally arguing with each other, you know, I just don't think we ought to do this now, you know.   Listen, listen, we're a team and this is our child. So, let's talk about what we're going to do. If we don't do it, what are we going to do?   We're going to let them live on the street. We're going to send them to the rescue mission. What are our options, you know, and what is the Christian thing to do?   So yeah, we likely will have different ideas. Husbands and wives will have different ideas of what we ought to do in those kinds of situations, but let's respect each other's ideas. Let's listen and try to see the world through their eyes and say, okay, I can see what you're saying.   I can see how that makes sense. And then, okay, how can we solve the problem? Because we want to be a team.   We want to keep our marriage growing. We don't want this to be a divisive thing in our marriage because we hope down the road they're going to be on their own, but we want our marriage to be good now and then, you know.   Laura Dugger: (39:00 - 39:12) So, to sum up this time together, do you have any additional words of encouragement or helpful do's and don'ts as we navigate this new part of parenting?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (39:14 - 42:07) I think one thing I would say to Christian parents is pray. The Bible says if you lack wisdom, ask God for wisdom. And all of us need wisdom.   And so, you just say, God, you know the situation, you know where we are, and we need your wisdom. You know we have our thoughts and our ideas, but what we really want to do is what is best in this situation for our child and for us. And we know that you can give us wisdom.   And the second thing I would say is read a book such as the one we're discussing. Because we're dealing with many common things in this. Read a book together about it.   And then, also talk to other parents maybe in your church, who have adult children who are moving home or whatever the situation is. And see how they're handling it. Because, you know, they may have found some things and discovered some things that would be very helpful to you.   Sometimes parents want to hide what's going on, especially if their child is making decisions and living a lifestyle that they don't want them to be living. They don't want to tell their friends about it. Because they think it puts them down as parents, that we failed, you know.   And I like to say to those parents, because many times here's what the parents say to me when their child is making a lifestyle decision that's not biblical. They'll say, Dr. Chapman, what did we do wrong? And I say, well, ask God if you did anything wrong.   God will tell you. And if you did, you can apologize. You can confess it to God.   You can apologize to your adult child. But let me remind you of this. God's first two children went wrong, and they had a perfect father.   So don't blame yourself for the decisions your adult children are making. Yes, none of us are perfect. And maybe you made some real bad decisions.   Then apologize to your adult child. But don't just assume that you are responsible for what they're doing. God makes his children free.   And as you know, a lot of God's children make poor decisions. God still loves them. And if they repent, God will forgive them.   But they suffer the consequences. Anytime we violate God's plans, we have to suffer. There are consequences.   So, yeah, those are just some of the things I would say to parents. But I do think that they'll find this book to be very helpful. It's very practical.   And I think they'll find it to be very helpful.   Laura Dugger: (42:08 - 42:24) Your teaching is always full of wisdom, full of practicality. And this isn't the only topic that you've written about or spoken about. And so where would you like to direct us after this chat so that we can learn more from all of your teaching?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (42:25 - 42:59) I would say go to the website 5lovelanguages.com. The number 5 and lovelanguages.com. And there you will find resources, all my books and so forth. You can receive a weekly email from me if you like.   And you can take a quiz on the love languages and other things. Just a lot of help at that website. My publisher actually runs that website for me.   But it's very, very helpful. So, you know, that's where I would encourage them to go.   Laura Dugger: (43:00 - 43:19) Wonderful. We'll add that link in the show notes for today's episode. And Dr. Chapman, you've been a repeat guest. So, you're familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Gary Chapman: (43:22 - 44:41) I would say recognize the truth of what Jesus said as recorded in Matthew chapter 15, and verse 5. I think I'm right about that. Where he said, “I'm the vine. You're the branches. You stay connected to me. You bear fruit. Without me, you can do nothing.”   So just recognize your dependence on God. We may know a lot about a few things, but there's a whole bunch of stuff we don't know much about.   So just realize if you stay connected to God, have a daily quiet time with God in which you sit down and read a chapter in the Bible and ask God to speak to you. Or read a devotional book every morning with Scripture. You stay connected closely to God; you're going to bear fruit.   And tell God, without you, Lord, I can't do anything worthwhile. We won't. We can't do anything.‍ ‍   He gives us breath. We could be gone tomorrow. I can't do it without you.   I need your help. I need your wisdom. So, you stay connected closely to God.   You're going to not only survive, you're going to thrive.   Laura Dugger: (44:42 - 45:13) Well said. And it's great to witness someone who has been abiding in Christ and we're getting to enjoy that sweet fruit from the overflow of even your lifestyle and your guidance and your wisdom, Dr. Chapman. So, it's always such a joy to get to talk to you.   And I think my heart rate slows down every time we're having a conversation. You're so calm and peaceful. And I just really am grateful for you and appreciate you.   So, thank you for being my guest.   Dr. Gary Chapman: (45:14 - 45:25) Well, thank you. I always enjoy chatting with you. And thanks for what you're doing.   Because, you know, we take whatever we've got and try to help other people. And you're doing that. So, keep up the good work.   Laura Dugger: (45:25 - 48:42) Thank you. One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term gospel before?   It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners. But Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own.   So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a Savior. But God loved us so much He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.   This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10.9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead you will be saved. So would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today, right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You.   Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus' name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer you are declaring Him for me so me for Him. You get the opportunity to live your life for Him.   And at this podcast, we're called the Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you ready to get started?   First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible.   The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. You can start by reading the Book of John.   Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ.   We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15 10 says, In the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.   The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved, and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

How do you go about helping your fiancé discover their love language? Begin by encouraging them to read Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

20 million readers of the original Five Love Languages now have the updated master class, written by Gary Chapman and Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott! Years of experience and new research help explain the absolute best way to communicate to your loved ones, in their love language's preferred dialect. No more trying without results. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott join us for a fun, fast-paced introduction to understanding your loved one's emotional love tank needs and love language, including this free assessment! Get your free HeartChart (https://www.myheartchart.com/)

Reading Dr. Gary Chapman's book "The Five Languages" will invigorate relationships of every kind.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

PSR Podcast is a listener supported outreach of Be Broken Ministries. Partner with us through giving at BeBroken.org/donate. Thank you for your support!----------In this episode, I sit down with Stephen Cervantes to explore the deepest desires of the human heart — to be fully known, loved, forgiven, enjoyed, and celebrated. We discuss how these beautiful, God-given desires can become problematic when we turn them into demands on other people. While humans can love and forgive abundantly, only God can do so fully. We also reflect on how concepts like the Five Love Languages can unintentionally create unrealistic expectations in relationships. Ultimately, we're reminded that true fulfillment comes from delighting in God, who meets our heart's desires perfectly.For daily insights from Stephen, visit DoctorMarriage.org. Topics Covered in this Episode: Exploration of deep human desires: being fully known, loved, forgiven, enjoyed, and celebrated.Distinction between desires and needs, emphasizing the potential for disappointment when desires are treated as needs.Discussion on the limitations of human relationships in fulfilling these deep desires.The spiritual versus earthly realms and how they relate to human experiences of love and forgiveness.Consequences of placing unrealistic expectations on others based on concepts like the Five Love Languages.The idea that only God can fully meet these desires, while humans can only offer love and forgiveness abundantly.The importance of accepting human limitations in relationships to avoid disappointment and anger.Encouragement to seek fulfillment of desires through God rather than through others.Recognition of the growth potential in human relationships as individuals learn to love more abundantly.The role of earthly relationships in reflecting God's love and grace, while acknowledging their inherent limitations.More Resources:Resources for MenResources for WivesResources for FamilyRelated Podcasts:Why Jesus?I Want to Be KnownKnowing Your True Identity Beyond Sexual Brokenness----------Please rate and review our podcast: Apple PodcastsFollow us on our Vimeo Channel.

“You know my love language is physical touch, and yet you withhold sex, and that’s why I drink.” Relationship and Sex Therapist Monica Tanner joins Sheri and Matt to talk about ways The Five Love Languages are sometimes weaponized, and to dispell myths about our responsibility to make our partner’s feel loved. There are important lessons within the love languages about curiosity and communication, while at the same time, we remain responsible for getting out own needs met. Monica’s positivity radiates through this conversation, and is featured in her book, Bad Marriage Advice, and her podcast, Secrets of Happily Ever After. Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don't really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You've got this, and we've got you.

A perfect date can be the loudest reminder that something deeper is off. We start with a story about a husband who tries to reconnect through a big romantic plan, only to discover that what both spouses really want is honesty, forgiveness, and a heart-level bond that can't be purchased or scheduled.We talk about Christian marriage and biblical marriage advice through the picture Jesus gives in Luke 6: the fruit always reveals the tree. If the roots of your relationship are dry, even the best restaurant or most expensive surprise can feel empty. That's why we draw a hard line: dating will not fix a marriage in jeopardy. Real change starts with Jesus Christ, a transformed heart, and learning to treat your spouse with grace, respect, and steady love. If things are unhealthy, we also encourage getting help from a pastor or counselor for prayer and direction.From that healthy foundation, we share practical marriage tips for romance that actually work: the energize and deflate two-column list, small surprises that speak directly to your spouse's needs, intentional date planning, and a fun tool David calls Love Note Strips to spark better conversation and anticipation. We also walk through the Five Love Languages so your acts of love land the way your spouse receives them, plus ideas for birthdays, anniversaries, and “pulse checks” that keep you from drifting.If this helps you, subscribe, share the show with a friend, and leave a review. Then come tell us your best tip on Facebook.com slash Vows2Keep.Support the showFor episode transcripts, click HERE.For more marriage encouragement, visit: www.VowsToKeep.com | V2K Blog | Marriage Counseling | Insta | FBApple Podcast listener? Would you consider leaving us a review, as this helps more couple's to find our resources?! Leave your review HERE.

Do the principles of the Five Love Languages apply to older people? Absolutely. If older couples have learned to speak their spouse's love language, their relationship will be strong and vibrant.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Join Ben Kinney, Chad Hyams, and Bob Stewart on the Win Make Give podcast as they explore the significance of relationships. This episode delves into the Five Love Languages, offering insights into nurturing personal and professional connections. Discover how to stay connected with loved ones, colleagues, and peers by understanding their unique needs. Learn practical strategies like effective communication, resolving conflicts quickly, and creating meaningful rituals. This episode provides guidance on building and sustaining strong, fulfilling relationships that enhance both personal and professional lives. ---------- Connect with the hosts: •    Ben Kinney: https://www.BenKinney.com/ •    Bob Stewart: https://www.linkedin.com/in/activebob •    Chad Hyams: https://ChadHyams.com/ •    Book one of our co-hosts for your next event: https://WinMakeGive.com/speakers/   More ways to connect: •    Join our Facebook group at www.facebook.com/groups/winmakegive •     Sign up for our weekly newsletter: https://WinMakeGive.com/sign-up •     Explore the Win Make Give Podcast Network: https://WinMakeGive.com/ Part of the Win Make Give Podcast Network 00:06 Building Strong Relationships Through Love Languages and Quality Time 04:54 The Impact of Thoughtful Gifts and Acts of Service 06:21 Understanding Love Languages in Personal and Professional Relationships 11:20 Understanding Employee Motivation Through Personalized Incentives 14:30 Understanding Love Languages to Strengthen Workplace Relationships 23:00 Building Customer Loyalty Through Unexpected Acts of Kindness 26:18 Strengthening Relationships Through Transparency and Frequent Check-Ins 32:00 Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution in Relationships 35:17 The Importance of Rituals and Relationships in Personal and Work Life

What if your biggest self-sabotaging habits are actually the inverse of your love language? We're diving into the psychology of "loathe languages", and how your unmet emotional needs might be showing up in your toxic traits. After seeing a viral idea about “loathe languages” (the shadow side of your love language), we're unpacking how the very ways you need love might be the exact areas you unintentionally block it. If you find yourself defaulting to isolation, negative self-talk, avoidance, deprivation, or burnout, understanding and interrupting your 'loathe language' can help you better meet your needs before you spiral. Tune in to hear about:  The connection between love languages and self-sabotaging behavior What your “loathe language” is and how it shows up in daily life Why quality time types may isolate or withdraw from loved ones How acts of service can turn into over-functioning, burnout, and refusing help The opposite side of physical touch (avoidance, disconnection, neglecting self-care) How words of affirmation can become harsh self-criticism and negative inner dialogue Why gift-giving/receiving can manifest as impulse spending or restriction Recognizing when you're in a self-sabotage cycle How to meet your needs in healthier, more aligned ways For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Sign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

The Five Love Languages Love isn't just a feeling—it's something we learn how to give and receive. And for many of us in recovery, that didn't come naturally. Today on The Daily Trudge, we're breaking down The Five Love Languages and how they show up in real life—especially in sobriety. What makes one person feel loved might not even register for someone else. So how do we learn to connect better, communicate better, and actually show up for the people in our lives? Whether you're new to recovery or years in, understanding love languages can change your relationships, your communication, and how you experience connection. We don't just learn how to stay sober… we learn how to love. Trudging Together. No one trudges alone.

You know your spouse's love language, and you try to use it. So why is their love tank always running on empty? This week, we're expanding the classic framework to include personality nuances, seasonal shifts, overdoing it (yes, that's possible!), and love tank "leaks." Plus, you'll learn why gifts aren't always about money and why physical touch isn't always about sex.  Join us for a conversation about moving past formulas and becoming a better student of the one you love. Guests: Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott   Follow-up Resources: Listen to Dr. Gary Chapman talk about the Five Love Languages on Java #592 The Love Language that Matters Most. Take the free relationship assessment at myheartchart.com  The Five Love Languages Premium Assessment The Love Language That Matters Most by Dr. Gary Chapman, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott  Follow Les & Leslie at @lesandleslie Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy    

You're new to the 5 Love Languages. What's your next step in learning them and applying them? First of all, discover your own, then discover your spouses love language. You can do that by reading Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages.Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bill sits down with Pastor Jeff Lederer and Pastor Adam Jackson to go deeper into John 14:15-31 — the same passage they each preached on Sunday, but from two very different angles.Jeff opens by explaining why he built his sermon around Martin Luther — a man who nearly destroyed himself trying to earn God's love — and unpacks why the order matters: love doesn't come from obedience, obedience comes from love. Adam came at it through the Five Love Languages, making the case that sometimes we have to lead our hearts rather than follow them, and that choosing obedience when every impulse pulls the other direction isn't legalism — it's surrender.Together they explore the Holy Spirit's shift from Old Testament to New (he's not leaving the building), the C.S. Lewis image of Jesus as a renovating homeowner, and what it looks like to actually let him into every room. Practical application at the end from both pastors: don't stay in the gap alone, and watch what's crowding Jesus out of your heart.Main Passage: John 14:15-31Series: The Follow Up – Gospel of JohnWeek: 22

Each of the Five Love Languages flows from God's love for us. God speaks all five love languages - including yours - so you can know how much He loves you!Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of the Ordinary Christian Podcast, Craig interviews Dr. Gary Chapman, renowned author of ‘The Five Love Languages.' They discuss Chapman's extensive experience in marriage and family ministry, the importance of understanding love languages, and insights from his new book, ‘The Love Language That Matters Most.' The conversation emphasizes empathy, communication, and the attitude of Christ in relationships, providing practical advice for couples seeking to strengthen their marriages.TakeawaysGary Chapman has been in marriage ministry for over 50 years.The Five Love Languages concept helps couples understand each other's emotional needs.Empathy is crucial for effective communication in relationships.Understanding personality types can enhance how love languages are expressed.The attitude of Christ should guide how spouses treat each other.Marriages require effort and growth; they don't just happen.Asking follow-up questions can deepen understanding between partners.Love languages can apply to all close relationships, not just romantic ones.It's important to love unconditionally, even when feeling unloved.Couples should read and discuss marriage books together to foster growth.Sound Bites“You can love an unloved spouse.”“Empathy is key in communication.”“You can grow in your relationship.”Chapters00:00Introduction to Gary Chapman and His Work02:54The Five Love Languages Explained05:43The Impact of Love Languages on Relationships09:02Expanding the Love Languages Concept11:46Personal Experiences with Love Languages14:50The New Book: The Love Language That Matters Most17:51Understanding Sensitivity in Love Languages20:39The Importance of Unconditional Love23:46Influencing Your Spouse Positively26:46Final Thoughts and Reflections28:59The Importance of Love Over Leadership30:13Transformative Love in Marriage32:58The Power of Servant Leadership38:01The Art of Follow-Up Questions42:13Empathy in Relationships45:14Understanding Personality Types47:52The Key to a Lasting Marriage53:28Debunking Love Language Myths

Send me a some feedback!In this episode of the Unbreakable series, Mike and Angie explore how couples often misuse the Five Love Languages—turning them into expectations instead of tools for understanding. They reframe love languages as something to observe, not demand, placing responsibility for emotional experience back on the individual.Through their own relationship journey, they show how people-pleasing, control, and unspoken expectations create resentment, and how their dynamic changed when they stopped requiring each other to meet emotional needs and began recognizing the love already present. The conversation returns to personal power, self-regulation, and interpretation as the foundation of a resilient relationship.KEY TAKEAWAYSLove Languages Were Meant to Create Awareness, Not Obligation When they are used as rulebooks instead of insights, they become tools for scorekeeping rather than connection.Misusing Love Languages Turns Needs Into Demands Expecting your partner to constantly perform your preferred language creates pressure, resentment, and emotional distance.A Dysregulated Nervous System Cannot Receive Love in Any Language If safety is absent internally, no expression of love will feel like enough — regardless of how well it matches your “type.”Connection Is Built Through Presence, Not Performance Real intimacy comes from two regulated people showing up authentically, not from mechanically delivering acts to satisfy a framework.Love Languages Work Best When They Are Freely Given, Not Forced They deepen relationships when they arise naturally from care, but cause pain when used as metrics to measure whether someone loves you “correctly.”NOTABLE QUOTES“No one can give you a feeling. No one can give you an emotion.” “Your thoughts create your emotions.” “We choose what we feel.” “If you only fall in love with the first version of somebody, then you're going to be really disappointed when they become the 15th version.” “Step from the asker to the observer, and you'll be surprised how much people show you love.” CALL TO ACTIONIf this conversation resonates, it's pointing to the deeper work—learning how to regulate internally instead of expecting life or relationships to regulate you.Experience: Unbreakable Boot Camp (March 6–7) just outside St. Louis — where we move beyond theory and train the nervous system through live guided work so you can remain steady regardless of what life brings. Get more details here!

If you've ever thought, “I'm showing love to my partner, so why don't they feel it?” This episode is for you. This week on Laugh Lines, we're talking to the actual human who gave us the phrase “love language.” Yes. The one, the only... Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr. Chapman is the man behind the famous book, The Five Love Languages. He joins us to talk about what happens when you and your person are speaking completely different love languages, and why dialect of a love language is also important.'Acts of Service' might be my personal version of romance, but that's not Penn's. It's important to understand that how you show someone love doesn't mean they feel love. We discuss what to do when your partner's love language is the one you're worst at, how love languages shift in different seasons, and the five apology languages (including why “I'm sorry if you felt that way” absolutely does not count!)If you've ever wondered why you feel deeply loved when someone washes the dishes or why you just want someone to sit down and actually talk to you… this conversation might give you the language you've been missing. Whether you're married, dating, parenting, working, or just trying to understand the humans in your life - there's something everyone can take away. Sometimes the problem isn't love, it's how we show it. (Big thanks to Dr. Chapman for coming on the show, this was one of our favorite podcasts to record!) Learn more about Dr. Gary Chapman.We love to hear from you! Leave us a message at 323-364-3929 or write the show at podcast@theholdernessfamily.com. You can also watch our podcast on YouTube.Visit Our ShopJoin Our NewsletterFind us on SubstackFollow us on InstagramFollow us on TikTok Follow us on FacebookLaugh Lines with Kim & Penn Holderness is an evolution of The Holderness Family Podcast, which began in 2018. Kim and Penn Holderness are award-winning online content creators known for their original music, song parodies, comedy sketches, and weekly podcasts. Their videos have resulted in over three billion views and over nine million followers since 2013. Penn and Kim are also authors of the New York Times Bestselling Books, ADHD Is Awesome: A Guide To (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD and All You Can Be With ADHD. They were also winners on The Amazing Race (Season 33) on CBS. Laugh Lines is hosted and executive produced by Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness, with original music by Penn Holderness. Laugh Lines is also written and produced by Ann Marie Taepke, and edited and produced by Sam Allen. It is hosted by Acast. Thanks for listening! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More than 500 transactions last year - 100% by referral.Nearly $1B in sales over the past five years - working by referral only.Carol Foderick has built a 20-agent, 15-staff team that exclusively works by referral. Each agent owns their database and relies on the camaraderie of the team and the leverage of the staff. Go inside the structure of her team and get the numbers behind working by referral.How many marketing activities does it take to produce a referral? How many referrals does it take to produce a closed transaction? What is each outbound call or text worth? Carol can tell you - and she does in this episode!Watch or listen to Carol's insights into:The fuel for your real estate teamWhat lead generation looks like on her teamHow she became a team leader before she started her own teamWho shouldn't start a real estate teamThe structure and key roles in her company to support high per-agent productivityWhy her agents' databases have no value to herHow to retain top producers on your teamA systematic and measured process for working by referral (last year 226 actions drove two referrals and one closed transaction)A specific example that points to $300 or so as the value of each callThree main activities and five love languages for working by referralHow to find agents who can work by referralWhere we are in the teamification of the real estate industryAt the end, learn about truth telling by the home team, expensive rocking chairs and cheap airplane seats, and the challenges of being perpetual.Connect with Carol Foderick:→ Carol at CarolFoderick dot com→ https://www.instagram.com/carolfoderickConnect with Real Estate Team OS→ https://www.realestateteamos.com→ https://linktr.ee/realestateteamos→ https://www.instagram.com/realestateteamos/

https://www.laurenlappin.com.au/private-coachingIn this week's Listener Q&A episode, Lauren dives deep into the topics of Staff Management and Staff Engagement, and then offers up a complete masterclass on Cash Handling and Cash Control for your small business.If you have any burning questions for your Salon Business, and you want to hear Lauren's take on them in a future episode of the Podcast, Follow Lauren on Instagram here @laurenlappin_.Showing Staff You Value Them, the 5 Love Languages. (00:35). Dealing with Staff Attitude. (08:30).Managing Staff Leave Requests. (15:53).Onboarding New Staff Members. (26:07). Daily Cash Handling Processes, and the Importance of Cash Control in a Healthy Business. (31:18). From Chaos to Cash Flow: Why Stock Management Matters for Your Beauty Business:https://player.captivate.fm/episode/a2054778-3cf5-4f3c-bfd4-6a19659c3a00....Rate and Review the Show in Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-lash-business-lounge/id1609510128Rate the Show in Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0xvJ8MNZM9cbjYBGcMDtb8?si=b23764e4d0ed4b59Lauren on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurenlappin_Allure's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allure_lashbeautybar....This Episode was Recorded and Produced by Josh Liston at JCAL Media Group - https://www.jcaldigital.org/podcast-editing

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with a conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman about the importance of godly love in marriage. He also spoke about his latest book, “The Love Language That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It,” the sequel to the New York Times bestseller, “The Five Love Languages.” Dr. Chapman is also a well-known marriage counselor, speaker, and pastor. He is also the host of Building Relationships, which airs every Saturday at 12 pm CT on Moody Radio. Then we had Ron Deal join us to discuss the stats on blended families and ways to support blended families with a well-researched blueprint. Ron is a bestselling author, a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcaster, and a popular conference speaker. He is also the Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and the Director of FamilyLife Blended, a division of FamilyLife dedicated to serving blended families. He is also the author of several books, including “The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Listener stories [12:09] Dr. Gary Chapman Interview [29:08] Ron Deal Interview [45:12] Ally Thinks It's Funny [57:43] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with a conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman about the importance of godly love in marriage. He also spoke about his latest book, “The Love Language That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It,” the sequel to the New York Times bestseller, “The Five Love Languages.” Dr. Chapman is also a well-known marriage counselor, speaker, and pastor. He is also the host of Building Relationships, which airs every Saturday at 12 pm CT on Moody Radio. Then we had Ron Deal join us to discuss the stats on blended families and ways to support blended families with a well-researched blueprint. Ron is a bestselling author, a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcaster, and a popular conference speaker. He is also the Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and the Director of FamilyLife Blended, a division of FamilyLife dedicated to serving blended families. He is also the author of several books, including “The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Listener stories [12:09] Dr. Gary Chapman Interview [29:08] Ron Deal Interview [45:12] Ally Thinks It's Funny [57:43] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with a conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman about the importance of godly love in marriage. He also spoke about his latest book, “The Love Language That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It,” the sequel to the New York Times bestseller, “The Five Love Languages.” Dr. Chapman is also a well-known marriage counselor, speaker, and pastor. He is also the host of Building Relationships, which airs every Saturday at 12 pm CT on Moody Radio. Then we had Ron Deal join us to discuss the stats on blended families and ways to support blended families with a well-researched blueprint. Ron is a bestselling author, a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcaster, and a popular conference speaker. He is also the Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and the Director of FamilyLife Blended, a division of FamilyLife dedicated to serving blended families. He is also the author of several books, including “The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Listener stories [12:09] Dr. Gary Chapman Interview [29:08] Ron Deal Interview [45:12] Ally Thinks It's Funny [57:43] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with a conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman about the importance of godly love in marriage. He also spoke about his latest book, “The Love Language That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It,” the sequel to the New York Times bestseller, “The Five Love Languages.” Dr. Chapman is also a well-known marriage counselor, speaker, and pastor. He is also the host of Building Relationships, which airs every Saturday at 12 pm CT on Moody Radio. Then we had Ron Deal join us to discuss the stats on blended families and ways to support blended families with a well-researched blueprint. Ron is a bestselling author, a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcaster, and a popular conference speaker. He is also the Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and the Director of FamilyLife Blended, a division of FamilyLife dedicated to serving blended families. He is also the author of several books, including “The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Listener stories [12:09] Dr. Gary Chapman Interview [29:08] Ron Deal Interview [45:12] Ally Thinks It's Funny [57:43] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with a conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman about the importance of godly love in marriage. He also spoke about his latest book, “The Love Language That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It,” the sequel to the New York Times bestseller, “The Five Love Languages.” Dr. Chapman is also a well-known marriage counselor, speaker, and pastor. He is also the host of Building Relationships, which airs every Saturday at 12 pm CT on Moody Radio. Then we had Ron Deal join us to discuss the stats on blended families and ways to support blended families with a well-researched blueprint. Ron is a bestselling author, a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcaster, and a popular conference speaker. He is also the Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and the Director of FamilyLife Blended, a division of FamilyLife dedicated to serving blended families. He is also the author of several books, including “The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Listener stories [12:09] Dr. Gary Chapman Interview [29:08] Ron Deal Interview [45:12] Ally Thinks It's Funny [57:43] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme of “Marriage and Family” with a conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman about the importance of godly love in marriage. He also spoke about his latest book, “The Love Language That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It,” the sequel to the New York Times bestseller, “The Five Love Languages.” Dr. Chapman is also a well-known marriage counselor, speaker, and pastor. He is also the host of Building Relationships, which airs every Saturday at 12 pm CT on Moody Radio. Then we had Ron Deal join us to discuss the stats on blended families and ways to support blended families with a well-researched blueprint. Ron is a bestselling author, a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcaster, and a popular conference speaker. He is also the Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and the Director of FamilyLife Blended, a division of FamilyLife dedicated to serving blended families. He is also the author of several books, including “The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Listener stories [12:09] Dr. Gary Chapman Interview [29:08] Ron Deal Interview [45:12] Ally Thinks It's Funny [57:43] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it possible for you and your spouse to score equally on the Five Love Languages quiz? Yes, and there's no problem with that. It just means that you will each have several different ways of expressing love to each other!Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/lovelanguageminuteSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Valentine's Day can feel heavy when your marriage isn't where you want it to be — and that doesn't mean you're failing. It means something is asking for your attention.If Valentine's Day brings up disappointment, sadness, resentment, or pressure, this episode is for you. Instead of viewing this holiday as a test of your marriage, we're reframing it as a signal — one that highlights what's really going on beneath the surface.In this episode, I share:- How Valentine's Day often magnifies existing disconnection in marriage- The difference between performative romance and real emotional intimacy- Why one “perfect” date won't fix unresolved issues- Why micro-connections matter more than grand gestures- How my husband and I approach Valentine's Day differently — and why it works for us- What to do when Valentine's Day brings up more pain than excitementIf your marriage feels rocky right now, this episode will help you ease the pressure, understand what your feelings are trying to tell you, and take a more grounded, honest step forward.Mentioned in this episode:- Want to know what your love language is? Take the Five Love Languages quiz here!If this episode has helped you realize that deeper support is needed, you can schedule a Clarity Call with me to talk through what's happening in your marriage and what would actually help.Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoachingIf you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage?  Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Support the show

You've heard of the Five Love Languages. But what's next? In this episode, we're joined by marriage and family therapist and author Leslie Parrot to explore what it really means to love in ways that are not just well-intended, but deeply felt. Good intentions alone aren't enough, but empathy and curiosity help bridge the gap between how we express love and how it's actually received. Drawing from decades of clinical experience and relational wisdom, Leslie offers insight into why a deeper understanding of love languages matters, not as a formula, but as a pathway to deeper connection. And what fills your "love tank", or that of someone you care about? This isn't only for marriage; we also widen the lens to consider how these principles apply in friendships, families, and other relationships. We discuss how personality shapes the way we give and receive love, why each love language includes different "dialects," and how becoming a better listener is central to loving well. This episode invites you to slow down, listen more deeply, and practice a kind of love that doesn't just get expressed, but truly lands. Connect with Les and Leslie Parrott on their website, Facebook, or Instagram. Find the book by Gary Chapman, and Les and Leslie Parrott: The Love Language That Matters Most: How to Personalize Love So They Really Feel It    Check out the 5 Love Languages® Premium Assessment Join Les and Leslie Parrott and other experts online during National Marriage Week, February 7-14. Check it out. Check out the marriage resources at Dr. Carol Ministries Find out more about Dr. Carol Ministries in-person intensives - a safe place to unpack your story around intimacy and relationships, and experience Jesus coming into your story to bring healing and wholeness.        Find out more about individual coaching with Dr. Carol        Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can send a confidential message here.

Special Patreon Release: Better Together with Jon and Jolene Rocke   "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Mark 10:9 (KJV)   *Transcription Below*   Questions and Topics We Discuss: What are you so thankful you did in every season of marriage, from newlyweds to empty nesters that you see the pay off now in the present? How has grace and forgiveness benefited your relationship? What advice do you have for all of us married couples as we seek to grow as one, rather than grow parallel or even grow apart from one another?   Jon and Jolene Rocke are my local friends and my guests for today. They work side by side at Peoria Rescue ministries, and they have so many lovely gifts of leadership and hospitality and teaching, but the topic we are going to focus on today is marriage. From the first time we met, Mark and I adored them and appreciated their sweet bond with one another, and I'm so thrilled to introduce you to them today. Here's our chat:   Jon and Jolene both grew up in Christian homes and accepted Jesus as their Savior and Lord at the age of 15.  Jon is from Morton and Jolene from Elgin, IL. They met on a bus ride to a Youth Gathering in Minnesota.  They sat together and talked the whole way home about life, the Bible and God.  Jon played his guitar and sang John Denver songs and their match was made with “Sunshine on my Shoulders”.   They married at the age of 18 and had their first child, Janelle, at 19.  They left for Grace college in Winona Lake, Indiana with an 18 month old toddler in tow and had another baby girl born while in college named Jaime.  At graduation in 1984, they were accepted to Trinity Seminary to follow Jon's desire to be a Professor of Theology, but became pregnant with their son, Jordan, which changed every plan and sent them back home to build up their finances.   They came back to Morton and worked in the Family Business and felt called to stay.  They raised their 3 children in Morton working in the business until God loosened their tent pegs and called them to Peoria Rescue Ministries in 2017. Jon is the Executive Director and Jolene is the Ministry Ambassador.  They are thankful to be working side-by-side in this new season of their marriage.   Jon and Jolene will celebrate their 44th wedding anniversary and have 3 married children and have 10 grandchildren. Their son Jordan and his wife Jessica live in Sandpoint, Idaho with their 3 Kids.  Their daughter Janelle and husband Ryan live in Kennesaw, Georgia with their 3 children.  And their daughter Jaime and her husband Jonathan live here in Morton with their 4 children.   Related Episodes from The Savvy Sauce: 5 Love Languages with Dr. Gary Chapman Traveling with Your Family with Katie Mueller   At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.   Five Love Languages The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers A Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and The Savvy Sauce Charities (and donate online here)   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website.   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”   Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:10 - 2:05) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. I want to say a huge thank you to today's sponsors for this episode, Chick-fil-A East Peoria and Savvy Sauce Charities.   Are you interested in a free college education for you or someone you know? Stay tuned for details coming later in this episode from today's sponsor, Chick-fil-A East Peoria. You can also visit their website today at https://www.chick-fil-a.com/locations/il/east-peoria.   If you've been with us long, you know this podcast is only one piece of our nonprofit, which is the Savvy Sauce Charities. Don't miss out on our other resources. We have questions and content to inspire you to have your own practical chats for intentional living.   And I also hope you don't miss out on the opportunity to financially support us through your tax-deductible donations. All this information can be found on our recently updated website, thesavvysauce.com.   Jon and Jolene Rocke are my local friends and my guests for today. They work side by side at Peoria Rescue Ministries, and they have so many lovely gifts of leadership and hospitality and teaching. But the topic we're going to focus on today is marriage. From the first time we met, Mark and I adored them so much and really appreciated their sweet bond with one another. And I'm so thrilled to get to introduce you to them today.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Jon and Jolene.   Jon Rocke: (2:05 - 2:06) We're so happy to be here, Laura. Thanks so much for having us.   Laura Dugger: (2:07 - 2:43) Well, it's truly my pleasure. And will the two of you just start by giving us a little background on how you came to know Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?   Jolene Rocke: (2:07 - 2:43) Yeah, I grew up in the Chicago area in a suburb and in a Christian home. So, I was very thankful to know about God. And I came to know Him as my personal Savior at 15. And so, then I really had a complete change. And from then on, I have just followed Him as close as I can. So very thankful for Jesus.   Jon Rocke: (2:44 - 2:59) Yeah, and I was actually 15 as well. Became overwhelmed with my sin at 15 and knew that I did not know Christ. And so, since then, a very imperfect following, but glad to be part of the family.   Laura Dugger: (3:00 - 3:15) Well, and that's awesome that both of you were 15 and never knew that piece of your story. But I'm assuming you were living in different places. So then how did the two of you meet and fall in love?   Jolene Rocke: (3:15 - 4:40) That is such a funny story. Because I, along with a friend of mine from Elgin, jumped on a Morton bus going to Morris, Minnesota. And they picked us up in Rockford. And we got on the bus, went to the same youth gathering for our church denomination. And on the way home from that weekend, we sat on the bus the whole way home and talked.   And Jon had what was so interesting to me, a study Bible. And I had never seen a study Bible in my life. And so, he showed me what an open Bible was with notes at the bottom. And because I came to Christ at 15 and started Bible study on my own with just a spiral notebook, a pen, and my Bible, I was fascinated by this Bible.   And I heard from Morton girls that he carried his Bible everywhere. So, he was kind of different than the rest of the guys. And I told them that's the kind of guy I was looking for. And then to top it all off, he had a guitar. And he sang John Denver songs to me. So, Sunshine on My Shoulders, I think, really made me happy.   Laura Dugger: (4:40 - 4:45) Just knowing your family music is such a big part of worship. Yeah. That's part of what wooed you, too.   Jon Rocke: (4:40 - 5:35) Yeah. Part of the crazy story is that it's a long trip. It's like a 12-hour trip. And so, we left Morton at like 5 in the morning. And so, I'm sleeping on the floor. And we picked these girls up. And I wake up, and I'm like, “Oh, an angel just got on the bus.” That's what I thought. And she was like, she didn't really have anything to do with me the whole weekend till the way home.   But we have a lot of fun with that story. And so that was the beginning. I think I sent flowers the next day. And we began, actually, a very long-distance, over-the-phone relationship, getting to know each other. And we actually went through, I think, the Book of Romans together over the course of, I guess, a year. And then got married. And we were pretty young.   Jolene Rocke: (5:36 - 6:47) Yeah. We met when Jon was just 16. And then two weeks after his 18th birthday, we got married. And I'm a year older. So, it was very young. But we are so thankful because we're going to celebrate 44 years of marriage here.   So, God knit us together, I think, through the fact that we were both really pursuing the Lord individually. And then we were so happy to find somebody like that. I thought I was headed to be a missionary in Africa at the time I met him. And he was, like, searching, too. But both all out pursuit of Christ. And so, I think that's what knit our hearts together. And it didn't hurt that he sent flowers the next day.   Laura Dugger: (6:47 - 7:15) It was a wise move. But I love it because the two of you have really grown up together. Totally. You've been meeting as teens. When you reflect back, what are you so thankful that you did in every season of marriage, from newlyweds to now empty nesters, that you're getting to see the payoff now in the present?   Jon Rocke: (6:49 - 8:10) Yeah, I think sometimes you are intentional. And we've tried to be intentional. But I think sometimes God brings circumstances into your life that sort of force something. So not only were we young when we got married, but nine months after we got married, yeah, we had Janelle, our oldest daughter.   And so, we had to realize we still needed time together. And we had a little baby. It began, I think, an intentional course for us to carve out time. So, you know, we put our kids to bed early. It was a big deal for us as parents that we had our time after they went to bed because we didn't get a whole lot of time.   And other little silly things, the kids didn't get to sit in between us at church. That was the rule. You can sit on either side of mom and dad, but you can't sit in between us. And so that was just, you know, again, a little thing that we did. And some things we had to learn. I'm more of a night person. Jolene's more of a morning person. Part of that, we had to learn at one point, you know, let's make sure we prioritize going to bed together. Just so, again, we had that time. So, there's been all sorts of different steps along the way that we've tried to prioritize each other.   Jolene Rocke: (8:10 - 9:01) So the two words that come to my mind with regard to that are compromise. You're two different people, and you're suddenly thrust together into a home situation. Well, that took compromise on both of our parts. So that's kind of sacrifice, too. That means he doesn't get to stay up until midnight if we want to go to bed together, and I'm going to have to push myself to stay up later just so that we can make a common bedtime.   So, compromise, and then I think the other major thing to me would be communication, because we didn't have a relationship before marriage where we were in the same town and could see each other all the time or go on dates. We didn't have that. So, we had letter writing. This is 43 years ago. So, we had letter writing daily.   Jon Rocke: (9:02 - 9:04) Some of us were daily. He was daily.   Jolene Rocke: (9:05 - 9:11) I wasn't quite as good at letter writing every day, but I was in college by now.   Jon Rocke: (9:11 - 9:13) You were still in high school. Now we know.   Jolene Rocke: (9:14 - 10:15) But I think the communication factor, that actually helped us because, yes, I realize face-to-face dating is a great thing, but to not be able to do that and have nothing but be able to write your day out, what happened during your day, you're learning to tell the other person what happened in your day, how you felt about that, what your dreams, your goals are. So, it started, to me and us, I think a great foundation of communication.   Laura Dugger: (10:15 - 10:30) And is it Song of Songs, I believe, 5:16, where part of it says, “This is my lover, this is my friend,” and that's what I'm hearing, is that you were really deepening your friendship in those early years and that from witnessing your lives, it seems that has only continued.   Jolene Rocke: (10:30 - 10:35) Yeah, exactly. We are so thankful. It's a very different story than most people, but we're so thankful.   Jon Rocke: (10:16 - 10:39) I think also, for us, it was Genesis 2 in the sense that you need to leave everything else and cleave together. We were young. It's hard to believe. When we look back, we think about our kids and our grandkids and would we want that for them, and yet I don't think we'd trade it for the world.   Laura Dugger: (10:40 - 10:52) I love that. And what encouragement do you have for others then who are also wanting to build a foundation of remaining connected and intimate in all the aspects of their own marriage?   Jon Rocke: (10:53 - 12:07) That's one of those things about being intentional. Matthew 19:6, where Christ repeats that adage from Genesis 2, that God created them male and female, they need to leave mother and father and cleave together, but then he adds this, “and no one should tear that apart.” And we often think about that, I think, as other people tearing that apart, and that's true.   But the same goes, we can tear ourselves apart if we're not going to make sure everything else, all other distractions, because they're going to continually come, right? And again, we had kids so early that I think we knew we had to carve that time out, because if we wouldn't have, I'm not sure how that would have worked. We would have been so consumed early. But career, we've just known that we've had to say, if we don't make sure that we're the priority, it's so easy to get lost in all the other things of life that are not bad. Kids are not bad, they're great. And your careers and your work, that's all good. But it can be the enemy of great in a marriage.   Jolene Rocke: (12:07 - 12:32) Yeah, we talked about the fact that this is how we started all those years ago. But a pursuit of God individually actually enhances a pursuit of God together. I'm still in the Word individually. Jon's still in the Word individually. But we also then read and pray together every night. So just this pursuit of God.   Jon Rocke: (12:32 - 13:06) But that wasn't something we did from day one either. I mean, that was a learned scenario where one time we were just kind of convicted of the fact that together we're not taking time to pray and read together. And so, then we just made that part of routine at night. So then again, that made us say we're going to go to bed together. Because if we didn't, then we didn't have that time. That opportunity to pray together and read together has just become a connection point that we wouldn't want to trade.   Laura Dugger: (13:07 - 13:55) I think that's encouraging in so many ways because you've grown into this. And I think for anyone just starting out, it's so helpful to see you didn't let excuses get in the way. It reminds me of a supervisor in college who said, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.” And I think in a unique way with you two being launched into parenthood nine months after you were married, you didn't have the luxury of being frivolous with your time. And you chose intentionality. And it seems like God really has blessed that and honored it.   Jolene Rocke: (13:55 - 14:05) Yeah and continued it to this day. You're very right. We continue to be busy. And that's still the struggle to combat that with intentional time together. So definitely.   Jon Rocke: (13:55 - 14:31) You talk about seasons in our lives. So, I had to have a hip replacement. So, from like 23 till I had that at 50, I couldn't take long walks. But now we get to walk together, which is a huge privilege. And so, I always think about it. I'm not into exercise to exercise, but I'm into being together. And exercise is a thing we can do together. The other thing we did in our, I guess it was on our 25th. We got a tandem bike. And we love doing our tandem bike.   Jolene Rocke: (14:31 - 16:21) But he wanted a tandem bike right when we got married. And I kept saying, no, I didn't really want to sit on the back and have no control. And not be able to see when I thought I should break or when I wanted to turn.   So, this is something that I often encourage women that are moving into the emptiness season of life. I was driving to church alone. And the Lord really impressed on me that the extreme lavish amount of love that as a homemaker I gave to my children who were now gone, I needed to transfer that to my husband.   I've always loved Jon first and best. But I needed to take even the time commitment. What could I do to show Jon I loved him lavishly the way I tried to my children? So that was a time thing for me. And it was like get a tandem bike. So, I was willing then to get the tandem and sit in the back. And you really do; you're called the stoker. You really do work in the back. You don't just sit there. You work. But I no longer had the control of that. And I am learning to see butterflies land on corn stalks. And I actually love our tandem bike. But God had to grow me. And that was part of my several gifts to him in emptiness period that has helped us keep a strong marriage, I think.   Laura Dugger: (16:21 - 16:30) And isn't that interesting how there's a gift in it for you? Like you offer this sacrifice and yet he's teaching you new things.   Jon Rocke: (16:21 - 16:22) I love it, yeah.   Laura Dugger: (16:23 - 16:45) What would you two say is the biggest personality difference that you've recognized in your own marriage?   Jolene Rocke: (16:45 - 17:22) We just had a personality test yesterday. We have an executive team leadership at Peoria Rescue Ministries, and we had to do personality tests again. And that always is quite glaring to see how different we are. So, we're on two ends of the spectrum. But we can encourage any marriage that that can work and actually maybe be in your favor as long as you work hard at it. So, it just takes work and communication to say, you're very logical thinking, I'm very emotional, so how do we come together then in situations where I'm flustered and he's calm because he at times looks as if you don't care.   Jon Rocke: (17:22 - 17:53) Right, yeah, it can be that. You're highly relational. I'm definitely more process. And I think you're going to learn quickly, especially if you have kids, that all your kids are going to have different personalities. That's the weirdest thing, right? They all grew up in the same home and they're all just completely different. And so being able to help them understand kind of a little bit who they are and how that works has been a good thing that we're not the same.   Jolene Rocke: (17:53 - 20:01) God didn't make one good and one bad. He made all of us different, all in His image, to His glory. We all bring value to the family, and we both bring value to one another as helpmates because I'm able to sharpen Jon in areas that are blind spots for him. He's able to totally sharpen me and calm me in blind spots that are mine. So, I think in a marriage, it's just actually, it's been helpful. Differences are good.   Laura Dugger: (20:01 - 20:25) Oh, I love that. Differences are good. It sounds like God sanctified even your views of that. And so, getting really practical, when was a time when your differences were working against each other or caused conflict? And then how, through maturing and more time together, how do you celebrate and even lean into and appreciate those differences?   Jolene Rocke: (20:25 - 21:00) Well, one thing for sure is we had what we call our valley, where we learned that Psalm 23 wasn't just a funeral psalm, but it's a life psalm, and it's a way of life psalm. So, at that time, I had three family members pass away, and Jon had his family business go down. So, we watched our personalities within that in handling loss and grief. So, here's the optimist really down, and here's realist trying to be cheerleader and be up.   And so actually God did it, and we know without a doubt that God can work beyond personalities and bring you to a point where you can actually support one another well. But there again, it's got to be intentional. It's got to be me saying, we need to sit down now and have a meeting, talk about how you're feeling, whether you want to talk about feelings or not, because I need to know where you're at so that I can help you best.   Jon Rocke: (20:01 - 21:20) Yeah, and on a practical level during that time, I found myself not communicating some of what I thought was either scary or just the long drag of it. And so that was a potential way for us to disconnect because all of this is swirling from at least our livelihood standpoint, swirling in my head, and I'm not going to want to share that. And yet we realized we had to, but then those are not always easy things because Jolene, like most ladies, likes security as an important thing, right? Of just knowing what's going to happen.   In the end, it did make us really, again, Joe mentioned Psalm 23, and if he is our shepherd, what else could we want? We both had to end up clinging to that because our security was gone. Part of our sense of who we were, and particularly me in a family business for three generations, was gone. And so, we certainly had to make sure that our tendencies, like in communication, those kinds of things, we had to work through those during that time.   Laura Dugger: (21:21 - 21:30) Thank you for sharing that. I think that's very relatable to hear about the ups and the downs. And so, do you have any specific stories of a time when you were both in your strengths, and even though they were very different, they worked well together?   Jolene Rocke: (21:30 - 23:12) Yeah, I think that it's the learning what your strengths are that you may not know that God gives you at the time, and that's his grace. So, at the time, for all those years previous to the valley, Jon was the one that pushed me to communicate, and shutting down was not an option, which is what I wanted to do. So, I'd rather just not talk about it and go to bed. And he would push, push, push me to keep communicating, and that we would work through everything before the sun went down, as the Bible says.   Well, in the valley, it was Jon that was shutting down. And suddenly, you know, I had to be the one to push communication. So, this is something I heard on a sermon. A personality is not an excuse for sin. So that just means that I can't say, well, I'm not comfortable in conflict, so I'm not going to communicate and I'm going to shut down. No, you need to push yourself, ask the Lord for help, and go as his helpmate and say, you have to talk about it, you have to tell me, how are you doing? How are you feeling? So, I feel like it's just, it was such a beautiful valley when we look back now.   Laura Dugger: (23:12 - 23:25) Another previous guest had said she noticed when she was in the valley, that's when you're closest to the living water.   Jon Rocke: (23:13 - 24:41) Oh, absolutely. For sure. That's how creeks run, through valleys. Yeah. And I think our parenting, it was helpful for us to have both sides of our personality in parenting because I think we could address situations with our kids from different viewpoints and different ways to think about things, and those were helpful things as well.   But we also, during all sorts of the periods of time in our marriage, we had some little things that just reminded us. We had little words. So one was, you know, “we need to swim back.” So, you can often find yourself, because of a season of time or a season with your kids or whatever on the different islands, and we would just say, we got to swim back. And so that was one of our things that we did. And then we also had a, if we went too long, we just realized we weren't intentional about our intimacy of any kind. It was just basically, “Hey, you didn't kiss me today.” And we used to make that, “No, you didn't kiss me today.” And it was just a thing we tried to do to make sure that we had these little things that just kept us reminded. And so, they were really, they were kind of practical, just little code words for us that made a difference and got our minds back to where it needed to be.   Jolene Rocke: (24:41 - 24:50) Yeah, and in the busyness, that's easy to remember those little swing thoughts.   Laura Dugger: (24:50 - 30:17) Swim back. And now a brief message from our sponsor.   Did you know you can go to college tuition free just by being a team member at Chick-fil-A East Peoria? Yes, you heard that right. Free college education. All Chick-fil-A East Peoria team members in good standing are immediately eligible for a free college education through Point University. Point University is a fully accredited private Christian college located in West Point, Georgia. 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We ask that you also will share by sharing financially, sharing the Savvy Sauce podcast episodes, and sharing a five-star rating and review. You can also share any of our social media posts on Instagram or Facebook. We are grateful for all of it and we just love partnering together with you.   Now, back to the show. What encouragement do you have for healthy communication and healthy conflict resolution in marriage?   Jon Rocke: (30:19 - 31:31) God's grace. It's going to have to take time. You have to find that time together. So, I think it's all about prioritizing that time. I don't necessarily like conflict, but I know in our marriage you can't avoid it. And so, we just had to work through it right away. And so, I would say don't let time simmer conflict because that usually never makes it better.   Certainly, there's a sense of if there's something that's really emotional and maybe you need some space. My problem is I often don't give Jolene that space and that's hard on her, it really is, and sometimes not fair. But in the same vein, for me it felt like I didn't care if I just said, “Well, go ahead and be angry or be whatever or be upset about this or just let's not deal with it.” And she was gracious in pressing in and doing that. But I think don't let time go, just deal with it.   Jolene Rocke: (31:32 - 33:26) And two, the encouragement I think of is that Jon and I tell each other everything, every little thing. And we are very aware of couples that don't. And when Jon was holding back for me in that valley time, I really noticed it and I felt pretty alone. So, if you're always telling each other everything, there should be no secrets. So that just means there might be conflict then. If you're going to tell each other everything, then there might be conflict and you need to be prepared for that.   But that's better than me not saying anything. I sometimes say it's like a teapot, you're simmering or you're spouting. What's the perfect in the middle balance? It's really important to not simmer because you will spout eventually and then that's a harder conflict than if you just kept talking, kept telling every little thing. And so, we do tell each other every little thing.   Laura Dugger: (33:26 - 33:40) Well, and to go with that metaphor, if you have a release valve where that hot air can escape, it sounds like your communication has been that where you can get the water temperature back to a healthy place in the relationship.   Jolene Rocke: (33:40 - 33:55) Yeah, yes. And that takes work. So, I mean, honestly, what encouragement? Don't give up. Just keep going because it's worth it.   Laura Dugger: (33:55 - 34:10) Well, and I'm thinking back. Okay, so you had three kids. They're somewhat close together and you were young. So those years when all of your children were in the home, even elementary school age, that timeframe, what did that look like for communication? How did you still make sure you connected every day?   Jon Rocke: (33:26 - 34:31) Well, then throw in, we went to college after we had kids, which was actually, again, just God's grace and gift to us that we were able to leave town, leave the family business for a while, didn't think we were going to be involved in family business, went out to Indiana, went to school, and we didn't have anybody else but ourselves. And so that, again, was just his gift to us as young. We went in 1980, so that was two years after we were married. So, we already had Janelle at that point, and then Jamie came along soon after. And so, I had school but had to work to support. Jolene had to work and she was mom to two little ones. And so, again, I think it was just those times of making sure that we said nothing else can get in the way of us. Again, another phrase that we just had was, you know, we can get through anything together and nothing apart.   Jolene Rocke: (34:32 - 35:21) And that's not a flippant statement for us. That means we're trying and we're going to find the intentional time, put them to bed early, and make sure on weekends we're connecting well. And that meant sometimes driving with our kids. We'd go on drives. But that's Jon and I being able to talk. And then if they're goofing off in the back seat, it's okay. It's just fine because we actually are having talk time. Drive time has always been great communication time for us.   Laura Dugger: (35:21 - 35:35) That's really helpful, I think, for parents in any season. And you're talking about God's grace. So how has grace, and even forgiveness, benefited your relationship?   Jolene Rocke: (35:35 - 35:40) It's everything to our relationship.   Jon Rocke: (35:22 - 37:12) It's the only thing in everything. The parable of the unjust steward in Matthew 18 and just this idea that if you catch the enormity of your sin, then you can forgive others. And so that has been, I think, an important part of what we do because I love that whole story. Peter is asking that question, “How many times do I have to forgive somebody?” And if you think about a marriage context, well, that's a great question because my guess is it's going to be thousands upon thousands of times for whatever little or big things they are. And he's kind of like loading up. I feel that he's getting ready to say, “I've already forgiven this person six times. So, is it seven? And then after that, there's no more?” And the whole point of that is, oh, you really want to keep numbers, Peter? Here's the numbers. You've been forgiven zillions. And so, what's the little trifle amount that you're not going to forgive? And so, I'm thankful that Jolene is gracious because she's had to forgive me and continues to. We're still learning in a new season of life where now we get to work together, which to me is a really great joy. But it's also a different reality where we have a lot of work talk. Well, that's great. And we love that. But that can't dominate everything either. And so that's another one of those things that we have to figure out how to carve out our time away from work. Even though we enjoy working together and it's really fun, it's a new thing. That can't get in the way of us either.   Jolene Rocke: (37:13 - 40:14) There's got to be grace on both parts that now as I look at him as a boss also. And my husband, you know, I need to give a lot of grace to realize he's working within a momentum around a team and a leadership. But then as he comes home, and I'm very fully aware now of what a hat change that means for a man. That means that he's taking off his hat now and becoming my husband at home. And so, it's grace on both sides as he sees me working even under him or with him as a team. But it's a lot of grace and forgiveness over the years because in the early years as you're raising children, there might be unmet expectations is something I wrote down because I feel like as I think back to this pursuer of God and who I married and I remember those early years thinking, well, wow, he's not leading in devotions in the family. And I'm kind of struggling to find, I need to, as the mom then, pick that up and make sure we're doing with the children some family devotions. Well, that can create controversy. It can be that I would be upset, but I needed to forgive him for the fact that he didn't mean to do that and abdicate that responsibility. He just didn't know. And so, there's so much about being graceful as a wife to say, okay, I understand. That wasn't maybe how you were raised, or you didn't see that modeled in the home. But this is what I would desire for our family. And so, you just keep working and you keep forgiving because we've been forgiven so much, as Jon said. So, we know that. And I think the other key thing then with forgiveness becomes no record keeping, just as love is in 1 Corinthians 13. It doesn't keep the record of wrongs. I don't need to sit around with my time and in my brain and think about how much I've forgiven Jon. I need to think about the fact that God's forgiven so much in me, and he has to forgive me all the time. So, you're on this equal footing with forgiveness rather than trying to harbor a record of wrongs.   Laura Dugger: (40:14 - 40:40) Well, and I think you bring up examples for how it works in our families as well with children. And so, it's clear you two have such a solid marriage and you also have a thriving relationship with your adult children and your grandchildren and all their families. So, I think you just have a lot that you could teach us about raising a family as well. What are you so thankful that you did when your kids were living at home that you're now getting to see the payoff as they're adults?   Jon Rocke: (40:16 - 41:43) We literally grew up with our kids. So sorry for our kids that they had to, you know, grow up with their mom and dad. But that's been a lot of fun too because we did a lot of play. Again, these are just little things for us, these little words. So, as the kids were young, we used to, something that bothered them is I would tell them pretty plainly that I love mom most. And so, kids will always try to drive a wedge between mom and dad. That's just part of the fallen nature of kids. And so, we really communicated early. Our kids will tell you that was a hard lesson for them to learn that they didn't quite understand at that age, right? But they've really come to appreciate that in their own marriages. And then the other thing that we said was we choose you second. So, they knew we choose each other first because you're going to be gone someday and mom's not. And so, but we will always choose you second. So, friends were not a higher priority or social or hobby or anything. You know, the kids were always knew they were second. And so our kids are scattered all across, although we have Jamie and Jonathan here, one family here in Morton that we love to live life with. The others are gone, but I think we're still close in a lot of ways from that.   Jolene Rocke: (41:45 - 45:27) Yeah, I think we're a close family because we have stuck together through not just the ups, but the downs, but we're fun loving. Jon and I like games. We like to do stuff, and we like to go places. We prioritized vacation when they were little so that we were all together in an intentional environment that was away from home. And so, we were together, they enjoyed going to Florida every year and it was always what we called just happenstances that were so adverse. It wasn't your ideal. And so, we did not have ideal things happen on any trip, actually, that we go on. So, what we decided to call them is adventures. So, we intentionally took adverse situations, whether that's a flat tire, going to Florida with all the kids and it's the middle of the night and we're all sitting at a gas station on the curb waiting for the next tire to get fixed. It's just, we just always called them adventures and I'm not sorry for that. That's something our kids are passing on to their kids when things happen. Our son in particular, Jordan, his family seems to have a lot of adventures, like Jon and I have had. And that's what they call them to their children. So, I'm not sorry for the word adventure. Jon taught me a saying that he used to say, you love your children, even if you don't like them or you will lose them. And that was really important in the teenage years. When one of our children was struggling in junior high, I knew even if I didn't like the way this one was acting, I needed to just keep loving them as scripture says, right? Not if they're perfect, but all the time. And so, we didn't lose her through that time, I think because there was so much intentional loving beyond the liking. The other thing that I would just mention with that to encourage any, any mom or dad, I picked up the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and had this daughter read it with me so that we can learn, how do we love each other? Well, through this time when it feels like we don't really like each other that well. So, well, wow. I had no idea. It was physical touch for you. And I, I thought it was the acts of service. And you would notice that I picked up your room because I knew you had a hard day in a test at school. Well, there was never any knowledge or awareness that I did that for her. But whenever I put my arms around her and gave her a giant hug and wouldn't let her go until she melted in my arms, I realized, yes, that's what she, that's how I can love her best.   Laura Dugger: (45:27 - 45:50) That is awesome to hear that story. It is helpful to have actionable things that we can replicate. And so, I am going to link in the show notes to a few of our episodes that may be beneficial. If people want to take that concept a step further, Dr. Gary Chapman has been a previous guest. I'll link to those. And then also Katie Mueller talked about traveling with your family and the lessons that the Lord teaches his children about traveling in the Bible and how that applies to us. That's great. So, if you're willing, will you share anything more about the honeymoon? I'm so curious now.   Jon Rocke: (45:27 - 46:35) We will. I feel like we're taking too much time here.   Jolene Rocke: (46:35 - 46:36) I don't know, but well, we knew that this was setting the tone for marriage as far as adventures.   Jon Rocke: (46:36 - 46:37) But well, the very first off we, we got on a plane. So, we got married on a Sunday and we were flying out down to Florida on Sunday night. We got to Atlanta where we were supposed to connect to another plane. We were supposed to go to Fort Myers, Florida and there had been a storm and, and they were rushing to get us on the right flights or to get us to the next flight. And they put us on the wrong plane. You know, this was back in the day where that could happen. Couldn't happen today, but put us on the wrong plane. We ended up in Melbourne, Florida at midnight last flight of the night. You know, we're newlyweds. We're supposed to be, you know, on our honeymoon. They put us up at a Holiday Inn Express with the crew and said, you know, we'll get you out a flight. You have to be up at 4 a.m. And so, you know, I was, our first night was not necessarily what you would, you know, call the most romantic night that we could have. And then do you want to tell the second story of our honeymoon?   Jolene Rocke: (46:36 - 46:37) The canoe trip.   Jon Rocke: (46:37 - 46:37) Yeah.   Jolene Rocke: (46:37 - 47:28) The canoe trip is, I have such bad allergies to many things. And so, Jon knew that because we tried to go horseback riding and I thought I'd be okay because it was outdoors, but the dander on the horse made me just blow up into a big ball on my face. And so, he realized how much I have a problem with allergies, but we decided to go canoeing in a very narrow mangrove swamp. That was really depleted in, in its depth that day. And so, we were canoeing along, but we, we got into the side of the mangrove trees and out came a Hornets, Hornets out of this giant nest and stung me all over my back.   Jon Rocke: (47:28 - 47:50) And so Jon went into, I'm like thinking that my six day, you know, marriage is over. My wife, who's so allergic, we're half hour out on our journey and I'm, she's like going to die on the spot. Cause I figured if she's so allergic to animals, then this many, you know, bee stings or wasp stings, she's, you know, she's dead.   Jolene Rocke: (47:52 - 48:12) So he jumps, jumps out. Yeah. First, the truth is he took my top off and started taking mud from the bottom of the creek and, just plasters me with mud on my back. And then he jumps out of the canoe and starts running the, the canoe. Cause it was pretty shallow.   Jon Rocke: (48:12 - 48:31) I decided it was going to be quicker to get her back in time. I figured I had about 30 minutes, you know, to, to try to get her to some medical attention. And so, yeah, so I'm running the canoe back instead of paddling it. Cause I knew I could get faster. Well, then I cut my foot on a shoal and we're a mess.   Jolene Rocke: (48:31 - 48:37) I mean, he had it. What? Like six-inch stitches. So, we ended up in the ER here.   Jon Rocke: (48:37 - 48:38) Yeah.   Jolene Rocke: (48:38 - 48:52) Both of us with me, with stings, Jon, with a cut. And, and that was just the start of the honeymoon that we called a giant adventure adventure since it wasn't great.   Jon Rocke: (48:52 - 48:55) It's been a 44-year adventure.   Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:15) You did start with quite the adventure. I love that. And I think the husbands' listening will appreciate, of course you took their top off first.   Jon Rocke: (49:03 - 49:04) That's right.   Jolene Rocke: (49:05 - 49:07) It was a little embarrassing.   Jon Rocke: (49:08 - 49:10) It was a good thing. Nobody else.   Jolene Rocke: (49:10 - 49:15) Nobody else.   Laura Dugger: (49:15 - 49:25) Sorry. I had to tease on that part, but through various seasons, how did you prioritize one another above your kids, your career and your own families of origin?   Jon Rocke: (49:25 - 50:35) We just knew we had to have time. So, a couple of things. I mean, we had a fortunate built in mechanism too, to take trips together. So, within our family business, we had conferences and such that we had to attend. And so, we made that a priority that we were going to do those together. I wasn't going to just go by myself. And so, a couple of times a year, and now that we're working together, it can feel like life blurs between everything. So, while we're at home, we're still talking about work and we're still dealing with ministry. And the other thing is with our kids away, a lot of our trip time is spent with our kids. So, we have to make that, that's gotta be a priority, but we realized we still need just our time away. and when we got, we went down to Florida and we just said, okay, no work talk for these five days, you know, no work talk. And it was pretty fun because most of the time Jolene broke that rule. And I would say, wait a minute, no work talk.   Jolene Rocke: (50:36 - 50:36) It's true.   Jon Rocke: (50:37 - 51:09) It's very true. But those, so trips were a big thing for us, and they don't have to be a big deal trip, but a weekend away to break the routine. You know, the example of that was, that's why God created festivals and holidays were to break routine and to have a stop in our everyday lives. And so, he knew we needed that to reconnect with him. Well, we know we need that in our marriages is to break the routine.   Jolene Rocke: (51:10 - 52:17) Very intentionally. Jon was wise enough to know we needed that as even as young as he was. Can you imagine the volumes of love that that spoke to me, that he wanted me to go with him on the trips. So that meant so much to me. And it still does today because he always wants me to go with him. And then I, I just have over the years, like when the kids were at home, that was days of rest for me when he was in meetings. But as I started growing too, as a person and not needing as much rest, I also would go into all the meetings because I liked the learning. But even as we went through college, like I just was always a part of the learning. And, and I liked that, but Jon included me. That said a lot to me.   Laura Dugger: (52:18 - 52:25) And I love your companionship, how you prioritize that. What advice do you have for all of us married couples as we seek to grow as one rather than start to grow parallel or even worse, start to grow apart from one another?   Jon Rocke: (52:18 - 52:47) Yeah, I think find things to do together. That's part of how even the biking, the tandem thing came about. Cause if we went out on bikes on our individual bikes, then I'm like, I'm wanting to run ahead. Well, you know, and then, and she's like, you know, you're not getting very much exercise or whatever the case may be. But then on a tandem, we could accomplish everything together. And so, finding some of those things.   Jolene Rocke: (52:47 - 54:56) So there's seasons of time when you're raising your children, like that, Jon was biking by himself and with some other men in a fast pace for extreme exercise. And I was doing my thing. And so, I'm not saying that hobbies apart from one another are negative, but for us, they've been mostly together. And so that just means that even there was a period that yes, Jon would go out golfing, not in excess, but when our kids were around and little, I think I was communicating even in that, that you don't just go off golfing every Saturday and leave your wife with the kids on a Saturday because you now that's your day off work. No, it's, we never get a day off work. So, you need to kick in at home too. So, there was this balance, I think is a really good word for how do you, how do you do like even individual hobbies and exercise even, but then mostly we're always trying to figure out how we can do things together. So, taking a back seat, literally on a tandem bike and knowing that that was going to help our marriage to be together. I also said recently now in a decade ago, I will learn how to golf. And so that, that just meant, again, I have no, no interest that much in golfing. I thought I loved riding the car around and being outside, but now it's like, yes, I will learn to golf if that means that that's another hobby and a sport and an activity that we can do together. So, we started a Friday night golf time, just Jon and I, it's a date night of golf and Dairy Queen supper. We call it Dairy Queen supper because we just don't eat supper, but we eat Dairy Queen after we go. So there again, there's just like, what are, what can we do together? And we're still doing date nights because it's just, we actually are really good friends still.   Jon Rocke: (54:57 - 55:51) Well, I think like I say, every season has been different for us. There was a time where kids were intense and Joe was a phenomenal mom and, was totally engaged in that. And you're in your career phase too. And so, all those things are competing. Well, then we've come back in the last five years and now we work together. So that's a different whole different dynamic. And so that's why we needed, you know, yeah, we need a golf and Dairy Queen night because we just need to get away from the intensity of our work relationship, you know, and take that break on our tandems. We usually ride for breakfast. So, most things have to do with food. It's not about exercise. It's about how to eat. So that's kind of just part of what we do.   Laura Dugger: (55:51 - 56:19) I love it though. That's an interest for all people. It's something that we have to do multiple times a day. Well, what do you want to leave us with? Whether it's a challenge or scripture, it can be anything, but how would you like to wind down our time together today?   Jolene Rocke: (56:19 - 56:30) I'm going to just say to encourage everyone. Our marriage has taken compromise and it's taken communication and it pays off in the end.   Jon Rocke: (56:19 - 57:11) You know, Ephesians 5 is really an important understanding that it's submitting to each other. The idea of wives submit to your husband, you're not catching the whole picture of that. If that's what your focus is, because it's husband loves you, love your wives as Christ loved the church. And so, and it starts the whole section off with submit to one another. And so, we have to be just intentional and committed. One of my favorite sayings is from Augustine, who says, when he was in prayer one time says to God, “Command what you will, but give what you command.” And so, when I think about our marriage, that's what grace is all about. Yes, it takes intentionality and commitment, but that only comes by his grace.   Jolene Rocke: (57:11 - 57:55) And one other thing that I thought of is that we always taught our kids to remember whose they are. And that just means that if you do that within a marriage too, and you're remembering that you're the Lord's, you're made in his image, then you relate and you will love the other one better. Even as you know your identity in Christ first, you will love your mate better.   Laura Dugger: (57:55 - 58:05) Amen. And you too may know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you today, what is your savvy sauce?   Jon Rocke: (57:56 - 58:07) You know, I just say submission is a good thing. It's not associated that way, but in a marriage it's such a good thing.   Jolene Rocke: (58:08 - 59:13) So that's both submitting to each other, not just the wife being clamped down. But our savvy sauce would be that sacrifice and submission are good things. They're not bad words. So, in our experience, a savvy sauce for our 44-year-old marriage is that sacrifice and submission have been very good things on both of our parts.   Laura Dugger: (59:13 - 59:20) Well, you clearly live this out, and you've been great role models to Mark and to me and our family. You love one another with such an intensity, and you love your Lord that way, and you love your children that way in your community. And I just see the way that He's had this ripple out from being intentional in the most key important parts of life, and that He's really blessed you in that, but He's also blessed all of us around you. So, thank you for sharing your journey with us. Thank you so much for being my guest.   Jolene Rocke: (59:20 - 59:22) It's been so great to be here with you. Thanks for asking, Laura.   Jon Rocke: (59:13 - 59:27) Yeah, it's been a privilege for us just to take the time to reflect again and realize the challenges, but really just celebrate what God has done through His grace in us and our marriage. So, thanks.   Laura Dugger: (59:27 - 1:03:10) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

This episode is sponsored by the Cozy Earth! ⁠Click here⁠ to get your luxurious Cozy Earth products for up to 20% off! Give yourself the gift of comfort this year! Join us for an enlightening episode with Dr. Gary Chapman as we explore the profound impact of the Five Love Languages on relationships worldwide. Discover how personalizing how you love on your spouse can transform your connection, and why his latest book is set to be a game-changer for couples everywhere!! Watch the episode on YouTube!! Our Episodes: Is There A 6th Love Language?? Our Products: Love Language Date Night Resources: The 5 Love Languages Book The Love Language That Matters Most ⁠⁠Join Unite & Ignite ⁠⁠ Want more from Kingdom Sexuality? Come hang out! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Approximate Episode Timestamps  Introduction to the Kingdom Sexuality Podcast - 00:45 Getting to Know Dr. Gary Chapman - 11:02 The Origin of the Five Love Languages - 23:05 Impact and Reach of the Five Love Languages - 43:13 Understanding Love Language Fluency - 58:55 Exploring the Five Love Languages - 78:27 The New Book's Central Premise - 92:58 Final Thoughts and Closing - 109:20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of business owners believe that hustling non-stop is the only path to success, and they justify neglecting their relationships in the name of providing. But the real lesson here is about service—putting family first, letting go of scarcity, and realizing that abundance isn't just about money, it's about love and connection. When you act from this place, everything else falls in line.   Unlock a deep-dive conversation with Keith Kalfas as he explores the realities of being self-employed, running a small business, and maintaining healthy relationships. This episode is a must-listen for business owners, especially those balancing intense work schedules and marriage, seeking wisdom on navigating stress, work-life harmony, and the path to conscious leadership.   In this Episode You will Discover:  The real challenges of balancing business and personal relationships, especially for self-employed professionals in the service industry. Insights on how emotional cycles and communication patterns can impact long-term relationships. The importance of prioritizing family and connection, and how shifting your focus from work to loved ones can transform both home and business life. The power of shifting your mindset from scarcity to abundance, and how gratitude is the secret to happiness and success. Life lessons on letting go of drama, accepting responsibility for your own experience, and finding peace and fulfillment through self-awareness.   "So it's kind of like if she really knows that you're there for her no matter what and you have her back, then she'll let you go out and be a workaholic...because she trusts you now."  - Keith Kalfas   Topics Covered:  00:00:00 - 00:01:16 — Introduction: Business-Life Balance Keith Kalfas goes live for the first time during the Untrapped Podcast, sharing the challenges of owning a service business while maintaining a marriage or serious relationship. He draws a stark contrast between entrepreneurship and the traditional 9-to-5 and previews the episode's focus on personal experience and relationship stress during the busy summer months. 00:01:17 - 00:02:37 — The Stressful Summer Rush Keith highlights the overwhelming nature of June for landscaping/lawn care businesses, describing how personal matters take a back seat. He cautions that relationship tensions can peak during periods when business consumes all attention and urges mindfulness of time spent with loved ones. 00:02:38 - 00:04:33 — The Personal Toll: Real-Life Stories Through candid personal stories, Keith Kalfas describes heartbreaking episodes of marital conflict stemming from his workaholic habits, culminating in threats of divorce. His wife's demand for attention reveals a universal tension in entrepreneur relationships: the struggle to assure loved ones that they come first. 00:04:34 - 00:06:37 — Emotional Needs & Priorities Keith breaks down the emotional dynamics that fuel domestic disputes, explaining why partners may provoke arguments to validate their importance. He advocates putting God, family, and relationships before business for long-term sustainability and trust. 00:06:38 - 00:08:37 — App Solutions & Relationship Wisdom Quick tips on service business software: Housecall Pro and its benefits for efficiency. Keith weaves in profound relationship advice, referencing books like "The Way of the Superior Man," "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus," and "The Five Love Languages," describing levels of masculinity and conscious partnership. 00:08:38 - 00:12:51 — Stages of Relationships & Authentic Masculinity Discover how ego, roles, and shell personalities can sabotage intimacy. Keith outlines the "dance" of masculine/feminine energy, describing the destructive cycle of resentment and the importance of emotional bank accounts, boundaries, and building trust through integrity. 00:12:52 - 00:17:29 — Conscious Love & Self-Work Keith emphasizes that true connection takes years of conscious effort—a process of healing childhood wounds, servant leadership, and ego death. He guides listeners through the path of becoming a statesman, capable of leading self, family, and business. 00:17:30 - 00:20:38 — Spiritual Growth & Relationship Commitment The spiral of self-love, forgiveness, and enlightenment is discussed. Keith warns about the evolving polarities between partners and attests to the power of long-term commitment for personal and professional growth. He stresses that anything not rooted in "Truth" will eventually dissolve. 00:20:39 - 00:22:02 — The Dark Night of the Soul Listeners learn the role of profound suffering—from physical illness to loss—in forcing consciousness evolution. Keith details the stages of trauma and the transformative effect of moving into gratitude. 00:22:03 - 00:24:07 — The Secret of Gratitude How gratitude transforms suffering and life circumstances, referencing Dr. David Hawkins' "Power vs. Force." He contrasts low vibrational states of shame and blame with the liberating power of acceptance and thankfulness. 00:24:08 - 00:26:56 — Radical Ownership & Change Entrepreneurs are challenged to accept responsibility for their relational realities and family dramas. Keith uses pop culture and biblical references to argue for unconditional commitment and the wisdom of letting go of material attachments. 00:26:57 - 00:30:38 — Real-Life Implementation: Habits & Mindset Keith shares his journey of implementing a weekly date night despite enormous resistance and stress. He highlights how small shifts in prioritizing relationships over perpetual work lead to breakthroughs in happiness and abundance. 00:32:36 - 00:36:27 — Mindset Shift: Creating Your Reality A powerful segment on the physics of perception and energy; Keith summarizes how your mindset and beliefs actively shape marriage, business, and life outcomes. He urges listeners to shift from drama and suffering to active gratitude and peace. 00:36:28 - 00:40:02 — Handling Problems & Breaking Drama Cycles Keith challenges listeners to step up and handle problems with maturity. He narrates a recent business mishap that caused anxiety and how connection, presence, and solutions are the antidotes to suffering.   Key Takeaways Balancing Business and Home Life - Being self-employed, especially in a seasonal business like landscaping or window cleaning, blurs the lines between work and personal life, often leading to stress in relationships. Unlike a traditional 9-to-5, business owners frequently bring work home, resulting in continuous pressure and less quality time with loved ones. Impact on Relationships - Intense work periods can strain marriages or partnerships due to lack of attention, leading to feelings of neglect and frequent arguments. Communication and reassurance are critical; your partner wants to feel prioritized and secure, knowing that they come first even as you pursue business goals. Self-Work & Leadership Lasting change starts with inner work: healing past wounds, forgiving yourself and others, and evolving toward conscious leadership.  Leading yourself well is foundational before you can successfully lead a family, business, or community.   Connect with Keith Kalfas: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keithkalfas/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thelandscapingemployeetrap Website: https://www.keithkalfas.com/resources Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@keith-kalfas   Resource Links Jobber CRM Free Trial:  getjobber.com/kalfas. Footbridge Media for Contractors: footbridgemedia.com/Keith Untrapped Alliance Application: keithkalfas.com/alliance   Written and Edited by: Ma. Teresa Catangay-Bardinas   

Two blokes having a conversation on a podcast about how they individually give and get love. What makes them feel loved, appreciated and deeply connected. And more broadly, how the intended love that we’re sending someone’s way, doesn’t always have the desired effect because quite often, the receiver doesn’t experience love in the way that the giver does. For example, my attempt to be compassionate and loving towards someone who’s going through a challenge could be ‘received’ as unwanted prying - not loving at all. A fascinating topic, drawing inspiration from “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Enjoy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What is the love language that matters most?! That's the focus of this week's episode, as our friend, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, joins us to about his new book by the same name, The Love Language That Matters Most.  In this episode, Dr. Chapman drops some serious one-liners to teach us how to practically identify and love our spouse in their own dialect. Sound intriguing to you? The insights are profound. Here are some of the gold nuggets Dr. Chapman shares:Why our agenda takes precedence over our valuesHow to know what your spouse needs to really feel lovedWhy the misbehavior of both children AND adults grows out of an empty love tankHow to be a great listenerThe three ways to help your children feel lovedAnd the most sobering question Dr. Chapman asked of himself while raising his kids As he stated, “The question is not, ‘Do you love your children.' The question is, ‘Do your children feel loved?'” Time Stamps:0:00 Introduction1:19 What's coming up with Famous at Home4:02 Dr. Gary Chapman joins the show10:13 What is the love language that matters most?18:30 The dialects of each love language23:02 The emotional love tank27:40 The qualities of being a great listener35:00 How to help your children feel loved42:57 The most sobering question Dr. Chapman would ask of himself raising kids Show Notes:Purchase The Love Language That Matters Most by Dr. Gary Chapman by clicking here: https://amzn.to/4bHmXDy Take the Love Language Premium Assessment: https://5lovelanguages.com/store/premium-assessmentWant a marriage you love? Fill out this form: https://www.famousathome.com/loveyourmarriage Sign up for our email list and Famous at Home Starter Bundle: https://www.famousathome.com/newsletter To download the Famous at Home app from Apple, click here. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/famous-at-home/id6502221394 To download the Famous at Home app from Google Play, click here. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.kj2147486660.app2&hl=en_USDownload NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome

Dr. Emad Mossad explores the Five Love Languages specifically applied to Christian parenting, focusing on how parents can connect deeply with their children through physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Drawing from scripture and his counseling experience, Dr. Emad emphasizes the importance of understanding each child's unique love language to fill their emotional “love tank” and foster a lasting bond. He discusses the role of parenting as reflecting God's love, highlighting the challenges of discipline, especially physical discipline, and how to discipline with love rather than punishment. Dr. Emad also addresses loving teenage children during their search for identity, encouraging communication and respect to build bridges rather than walls. This talk is based on Dr. Gary Chapman's framework and offers practical advice for nurturing Godly love in children at every stage of life. Subscribe to us on YouTube https://youtube.com/stpaulhouston Like us on Facebook https://facebook.com/saintpaulhouston Follow us on SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/stpaulhouston Follow us on Instagram https://instagram.com/stpaulhouston Visit our website for schedules and to join the mailing list https://stpaulhouston.org

Key Takeaways:Centering fundraising on genuine care, honesty, and alignment creates trust and long-term support rather than transactional gains. Actions from authentic relationships feel meaningful, while actions solely for money feel manipulative.Loving donor relationships are honest, authentic, and aligned. They are not transactional or performative, and both the donor and organization benefit from shared values and mutual yeses.Applying love languages in fundraising—words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, meaningful gifts, and shared experiences—builds connection without pressure or manipulation. Each interaction should reflect respect, care, and intention.Listening, personalization, and alignment are critical. Engaging only with donors who resonate with the organization's mission fosters sustainable giving, while letting go of misaligned relationships protects energy, trust, and long-term impact. “If we are doing things for our donors because we genuinely love and care about them… that's a loving relationship.” “Love languages don't replace integrity. They express integrity.” “Healthy donor relationships don't come from saying the right thing. They come from being in the right relationship.”- Maryanne Dersch    Let's Work Together to Amplify Your Leadership + Influence1. Group Coaching for Nonprofit LeadersWant to lead with more clarity, confidence, and influence? My group coaching program is designed for nonprofit leaders who are ready to communicate more powerfully, navigate challenges with ease, and move their organizations forward. 2. Team Coaching + TrainingI work hands-on with nonprofit teams to strengthen leadership, improve communication, and align around a shared vision. Whether you're growing fast or feeling stuck, we'll create more clarity, collaboration, and momentum—together. 3. Board Retreats + TrainingsYour board has big potential. I'll help you unlock it. My engaging, no-fluff retreats and trainings are built to energize your board, refocus on what matters, and generate real results.Get your free starter kit today at www.theinfluentialnonprofit.comConnect with Maryanne about her coaching programs:https://www.courageouscommunication.com/connect Book Maryanne to speak at your conference:https://www.courageouscommunication.com/nonprofit-keynote-speaker

Most men want to love their wives and kids well—but still feel stuck, disconnected, or misunderstood.In this episode of the Dad Tired Podcast, Jerrad sits down with Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, to talk about the deeper issue beneath most marriage and parenting struggles:

Does your family history of divorce and dysfunction make you fear for your own marriage? Listen as Pastors Nate Brown and Daniel Hayworth share their personal stories of overcoming generational patterns and building marriages that honor God.This episode is perfect for your morning commute or workout—practical wisdom you can apply to your relationship today.You'll Learn:✅ How to stop living in fear of becoming your parents✅ The early warning signs that your marriage is drifting spiritually✅ What to do when one spouse is growing faster than the other✅ Whether couples should do devotions together or separately✅ The simple principle that transforms how you see your spousePastors Nate and Daniel get vulnerable about their own marriage struggles, from repeated fights in the early years to learning how to lead without forcing. This is real talk for real marriages.Resources mentioned: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Honoring Grace devotionalThis is part 4 of our Marriage Conference Q&A series. Subscribe now so you don't miss the next episode—new episodes drop Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7 AM CT.

By Stephen Bouchette - Love is something we can wrestle with communicating to others. How can love be effectively given and received? God is love. How do we effectively express love to God? Gary Chapman wrote a book named the “Five Love Languages.” Does God speak these languages, and conversely, how do we express our love

In this podcast, Stephen Martin discusses the distinction between requests and demands, particularly in the context of relationships and personal growth. He reflects on his experiences with dyslexia and how it affects his understanding of these concepts. Through insights gained from 'The Five Love Languages', he emphasizes the importance of making requests rather than demands to foster healthier communication and connection with others.TakeawaysRequests are more effective than demands in relationships.Demanding love can lead to resentment and pain.Understanding the difference between requests and demands is crucial.Dyslexia can complicate the understanding of abstract concepts.Making requests fosters a desire to help and connect.Demanding behavior can create anxiety and disorientation.Using clay to visualize concepts can aid understanding.Personal growth involves recognizing and changing communication patterns.Daily practice of making requests can improve relationships.Reflecting on communication styles can lead to deeper insights.Dyslexia, requests, demands, relationships, communication, love languages, personal growth, ADHD, adults with dyslexia, support for adults.Join the clubrightbrainresetters.comGet 20% off your first orderaddednutrition.comIf you want to find out more visit:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠truthaboutdyslexia.comJoin our Facebook Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠facebook.com/groups/adultdyslexia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, Dr. Gary Chapman joins Sissy Goff and David Thomas to explore what kids need most right now: feeling deeply and consistently loved. Drawing from decades of counseling families and his work with the Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman explains how children uniquely receive love, how parents can identify a child's primary love language, and why behavior is often a signal that a child's “love tank” is running low. The conversation offers practical, hope-filled guidance for adapting love languages as kids grow, navigating different personalities within one family, and building daily rhythms—like shared meals and one-on-one time—that foster connection, resilience, and lasting emotional security. Resources mentioned: The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman The 5 Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers by Dr. Gary Chapman What's your Love Language? free quiz . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Access Raising Boys and Girls courses here! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Venture Church steps into 2026, Pastor Brandon shares the very first message of the year across all campuses, introducing what we're calling Venture United — a moment for our entire church family to speak the same language and move in the same direction together. Using 1 John 3:18 as the theme verse for the year, Pastor Brandon casts vision for 2026 as the Year of Radical Service. This message challenges us to move beyond words and intentions and live out our faith through action, love, and ownership of the church we call home. Through personal stories, Scripture, and practical examples, Pastor Brandon walks through why serving matters, how it reflects our love for Jesus, and why a healthy church is built on people who take responsibility for the mission together. This message sets the tone for the year ahead and invites every person at Venture to step into a deeper level of commitment, service, and love. ⏱️ Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome to Venture Church across all campuses00:25 – Introducing Venture United00:50 – Health update and gratitude for prayer01:40 – Theme verse for 2026: 1 John 3:1802:10 – Opening prayer02:30 – The Five Love Languages illustration04:10 – Acts of service vs gifts story04:52 – Introducing the Year of Radical Service05:27 – 1 Peter 4:10–11 and serving to God's glory06:02 – Loving through actions, not just words07:03 – Vision for Venture to be known for radical service07:54 – Celebrating generosity and giving milestones09:10 – Invitation to begin giving consistently09:44 – Vision for generosity AND service10:15 – Serving as a gift of your time11:15 – God provides strength when we serve11:49 – Why giving alone isn't enough13:27 – Serving as an act of love14:51 – Serving as worship, even behind the scenes16:20 – Redefining what a “break” from serving means17:33 – Serving people as serving Jesus19:05 – The power of hospitality and first impressions21:12 – Story of a life changed through serving23:25 – Serving even after moving away24:14 – Serving as ownership25:58 – Why the church depends on volunteers26:37 – Ownership illustrated through everyday life29:07 – What owners do when something needs fixing30:42 – 2026: Venture's Year of Radical Service31:10 – Closing encouragement and vision for the year ahead

In this episode of High Performance Parenting, Greg and Jacquie Francis dive deep into how the Five Love Languages impact marriage and parenting. Discover how to speak your spouse's love language — even when it's not natural to you — and why your kids need to experience love in the way they understand it most.Through funny stories, practical examples, and biblical truth, they reveal how to overcome the “lazy habits” that block connection and how learning each other's love language is an act of humility, maturity, and spiritual growth.You'll Learn:The five love languages and how they show up in daily lifeWhy “It's just how I am” damages connectionHow to avoid resentment when your spouse loves differentlyHow to identify your kids' love languagesPractical ways to show love God's way

It's been over a decade since Dr. Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages changed the way we talk about relationships — but in 2025, are they still relevant? In this powerful and emotionally charged episode of Life Points with Ronda, licensed relationship counselor and spiritual coach Ronda takes you deep into the truth about how we love, why we misunderstand each other, and what it really takes to stay connected in modern relationships.