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Join us for a conversation with Gavin Ortlund, the president of Truth Unites, visiting professor of historical theology at Phoenix Seminary, and theologian-in-residence at Immanuel Nashville. He is the author of several books, including The Art of Disagreeing, Why God Makes Sense in a World That Doesn't.
In hour 4, the midday show disagrees with the NFL's decision to allow NFL players to compete in flag football in the 2028 Olympics. Feeling that it both takes away from all these other flag football teams and risks unnecessary injury! Plus, Hugh argues with Kyle and Joe that Cam Jurgens should be the center represented for the Eagles in a hypothetical tush push statue!
I've never highlighted a book as much as They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship. It's my favorite book in 2025! Watch the Video Interview Author Dr. Isabelle Morley gives us a timely book that rejects the reckless proliferation of the following terms: Sociopath Psychopath Love bomb Narcissist Boundaries Borderline Toxic Gaslighting Who is Dr. Isabelle Morley? Dr. Morley is not a chronic gaslighter trying to convince the world that she doesn't gaslight by writing a book about it. Here's her resume: Author of Navigating Intimacy and They're Not Gaslighting You Co-host of the podcast Romcom Rescue Contributor to Psychology Today Advisory Board Member of the Keepler app Founding Board Member of UCAN Member of the American Psychological Association Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) The Gottman Method – Completed Levels 1 and 2 Relational Life Therapy – Completed Level 1 PsyD in Clinical Psychology from William James College, 2015 Doctoral project researching hookup culture's impact on relationship formation, 2015 Master's in Professional Psychology from William James College, 2013 Bachelor of Arts from Tufts University, 2011 My Fatima Story I dated a woman for two years. Let's call her Fatima. In the second half of our relationship, Fatima bombarded me with many of the highly charged and often misused words listed above. After she dumped me the fifth and final time, I finally pushed back on her barrage of accusations. I said to her, “So, you truly believe I'm a narcissist? Let's look up the clinical definition of a narcissist and see how I stack up.” She agreed. Perplexity wrote: To be clinically considered as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) according to the DSM-5, an individual must exhibit at least five out of nine specific characteristics. These characteristics, as summarized by the acronym “SPECIAL ME,” include: Sense of self-importance Exaggerating achievements and expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements. Preoccupation Being preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Entitled Having unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations. Can only be around people who are important or special Believing that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions). Interpersonally exploitative Taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends. Arrogant Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. Lack empathy Being unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Must be admired Requiring excessive admiration. Envious Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them. These symptoms must be pervasive, apparent in various social situations, and consistently rigid over time. A qualified healthcare professional typically diagnoses NPD through a clinical interview. The traits should also substantially differ from social norms. I asked her how many of these nine characteristics I exhibited consistently, pervasively, and in many social situations. She agreed that I was nowhere near five of the nine. Admittedly, I sometimes exhibited some of these nine characteristics in my intimate relationship with Fatima. I'm certainly guilty of that. However, to qualify as a true narcissist, you must display at least five of these nine characteristics often and with most people, not just your partner. To her credit, my ex-girlfriend sheepishly backed down from that accusation, saying, “You're right, Francis, you're not a narcissist.” Later, I would educate her (or, as she would say, “mansplain”) about another of her favorite words: gaslighting. I mansplained by sending her a video clip of renowned couples therapist Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, who explained why standard disagreements and having different perspectives aren't gaslighting. Soon after explaining that, Mrs. Gottman explains why, in some ways, “everybody is narcissistic.” Watch 6 minutes from 1:35:30 to 1:41:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9kPmiV0B34&t=5730s After listening to an expert define gaslighting, Fatima apologized for incorrectly using the term. This is what I loved about Fatima: she wouldn't stubbornly cling to her position when presented with compelling evidence to the contrary. This is a rare trait I cherish. Narcissists and sociopaths are about 1% of the population, so it's highly unlikely that all your exes are narcissists and sociopaths. Still, Fatima flung other popular, misused terms at me. She loved talking about “boundaries” and “red flags.” According to Dr. Morley, my ex “weaponized therapy speak.” Dr. Morley writes, “It's not a new phenomenon for people to use therapy terms casually, even flippantly, to describe themselves or other people. How long have we referred to someone as a ‘psycho' when they're acting irrationally or being mean?” Although weaponized therapy speak isn't new, it's ubiquitous nowadays. Dr. Morley's book sounds the alarm that it's out of control and dangerous. Three types of people would benefit from Dr. Morley's book: People like Fatima: Does someone you know tend to denigrate people using therapy speak? Are they intelligent, rational, and open-minded like Fatima? If so, they must read this book to recalibrate how they use these powerful words. People like me: Are you (or someone you know) accused of being a psychopath, a gaslighter, or a person with OCD? Actual victims: The explosion of use of these powerful words has diluted their meaning. As a result, the real victims of narcissists and sociopaths are now belittled. Their true suffering is minimized when every other person has a sociopath in their life. Their grievances are severe. Let's not equate our relationship problems with their terror. I'll list some of my favorite chapter titles, which will give you a flavor of the book's message: Chapter 4: Are They Gaslighting You, or Do They Just Disagree? Chapter 5: Do They Have OCD, or Are They Just Particular? Chapter 6: Is It a Red Flag, or Are They Just Imperfect? Chapter 7: Are They a Narcissist, or Did They Just Hurt Your Feelings? Chapter 9: Are They a Sociopath, or Do They Just Like You Less Than you Like Them? Chapter 11: Did They Violate Your Boundaries, or Did They Just Not Know How You Felt? I will quote extensively to encourage everyone to buy Dr. Mosley's book. Most quotations are self-explanatory, but sometimes I will offer personal commentary. Excerpts The trend of weaponized therapy speak marks something very different. These days, clinical words are wielded, sincerely and self-righteously, to lay unilateral blame on one person in a relationship while excusing the other from any wrongdoing. ========== Many times, we use these words as protective measures to help us avoid abusive partners and reduce our risk of “wasting” time or emotional energy on family or friends who don't deserve it. But using these terms can also absolve people from taking responsibility for their actions in their relationships. They can say, “I had to do that because of my obsessive-compulsive disorder” or “We didn't work out because she's a narcissist,” instead of doing the hard work of seeing their part in the problem and addressing the issues behind it. As a couples therapist, I'm particularly concerned with how the enthusiastic but inaccurate embrace of clinical terminology has made it harder to sustain healthy romantic attachments. With Fatima, our relationship woes were always my fault because I crossed her “boundaries” and I was a “narcissist.” If I disagreed, I was “gaslighting” her. Or I was being “defensive” instead of apologizing. And when I apologized, I did so incorrectly because I offered excuses after saying I'm sorry (she was right about that). The point is that she used weaponized therapy speak to demonize me, alleviating herself from the burden of considering that perhaps she shared some of the responsibility for our woes. ========== Their friend doesn't agree with their warped view of an event or their disproportionate reaction? The friend is an empathy-lacking narcissist who is actively gaslighting them. ========== In one memorable session of mine, a client managed to accuse their partner of narcissism, gaslighting, love bombing, blaming the victim, lacking accountability, having no empathy, and being generally abusive, manipulative, and toxic . . . all within twenty minutes. Although Fatima and I went to couples therapy, I don't remember Dr. Mosley being our facilitator, but that sure sounds like Fatima! LOL! ========== I'm certified in emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT), which is a type of couples therapy based on attachment theory. ========== For example, if you feel like a failure for letting your partner down, you might immediately minimize your partner's feelings and tell them they shouldn't react so strongly to such a small issue. (For anyone wondering, this isn't gaslighting.) That makes them feel unheard and unimportant, so they get even more upset, which makes you dismiss their reaction as dramatic, and round and round it goes. Welcome to my world with Fatima! ========== You could claim your partner is toxic and borderline because they're emotionally volatile and unforgiving. You could say their feelings are disproportionate to the problem, and their verbal assault is bordering on abusive. But your partner could say that you are a narcissist who is gaslighting them by refusing to acknowledge their feelings, showing no empathy for the distress your tardiness caused, and shifting the blame to them (just like a narcissist would!). You'd both be wrong, of course, but you can see how these conclusions could happen. ========== Weaponized therapy speak is our attempt to understand people and situations in our lives, yes, but it is also a strategy to avoid responsibility. It puts the blame solely on the other person and allows us to ignore our part. ========== However, the vast majority of partners and friends are not sociopaths, narcissists, or abusers. They're just flawed. They're insecure, demanding, controlling, emotional, or any number of adjectives, but these traits alone aren't pathological. ========== But doing such things now and then in our relational histories, or doing them often in just one relationship, doesn't mean we have a personality disorder. These diagnoses are reserved for people who exhibit a persistent pattern of maladaptive behaviors in most or all of their close relationships. ========== I wasn't an abusive partner. I was a messy newcomer to relationships, as we usually are in our teens and twenties, trying my best to navigate my feelings while following bad examples from television and making plenty of other blunders along the way. Stonewalling was immature and an unhelpful way of coping, but it wasn't abuse. ========== If we're looking for a partner who will always do the right thing, even in the hardest moments, we're only setting ourselves up for disappointment. As I mentioned before, really good people can behave really badly. ========== If we don't know the difference between abusive behavior and normal problematic behavior, we're at risk for either accepting abuse (thinking that it's just a hard time) or, alternatively, throwing away a perfectly good relationship because we can't accept any flaws or mistakes. Alas, Fatima threw away a perfectly good relationship. I was her second boyfriend. Her lack of experience made her underappreciate what we had. She'll figure it out with the next guy. ========== Disagreeing with someone, thinking your loved one is objectively wrong, arguing about what really happened and what was actually said, trying to find your way to the one and only “truth”—these are things that most people do. They are not helpful or effective, but they also are not gaslighting. ========== “What? I didn't say yes to seeing it, Cece. I said yes to finding houses we both liked and visiting them. Sometimes you just hear what you want to and then get mad at me when you realize it's not what I actually said,” Meg answers. “Stop gaslighting me! Don't tell me what happened. I remember exactly what you said! You told me yes to this open house and then changed your mind, and I'm upset about it. I'm allowed to be upset about it; don't invalidate my feelings!” Cece says, her frustration growing. Meg feels surprised and nervous. She didn't think she was gaslighting Cece, which is exactly what she says. “I didn't mean to gaslight you. I just remember this differently. I don't remember saying I would go to this open house, so that's why I don't understand why you're this upset.” “Yes, you are gaslighting me because you're trying to convince me that what I clearly remember happening didn't happen. But you can't gaslight me because I'm positive I'm right.” ========== Cece's accusation of gaslighting quickly shut down the conversation, labeling Meg as a terrible partner and allowing Cece to exit the conversation as the victor. ========== I find gaslighting to be one of the harder labels to deal with in my clinical work for three reasons: 1. Accusations of gaslighting are incredibly common. I hear accusations of gaslighting at least once a week, and yet it's only been accurate about five times in my entire clinical career. Boyfriend didn't agree with what time you were meeting for dinner? Gaslighting. Spouse said you didn't tell them to pick up milk on the way home, but you swear you did? Gaslighting. ========== You could say, “I want you to know that I really understand your perspective on this. I see things differently, but your experience is valid, and it makes sense. I'm not trying to convince you that you're wrong and I'm right, and I'm sorry if I came across that way.” WHAT IS VALIDATION? Validation is another word that suffers from frequent misuse. People demand validation, but what they're really asking for is agreement. And if someone doesn't agree, they call it toxic. Here's the thing, though: Validation is not the same as agreement. ========== You can disagree in your head but still validate how they feel: “Hey, you're not crazy. I see why you'd feel that way. It makes sense to me. I'd probably feel that way too if I were in your shoes, experiencing our interaction the way you did. I care about your feelings.” ========== “I bet it felt really awful to have me challenge your experience and make you feel like it wasn't right or valid.” I regret I learned this lesson too late with Fatima. I was too slow to validate her feelings. We learn something in every relationship. Ideally, our partner is patient with us as we stumble through the learning process, often repeating the same error until we form a new habit. However, Fatima ran out of patience with me. I couldn't change fast enough for her, even though I was eager to learn and dying to please her. By the time I began to learn about proper validation and apologies, she had given up on me. ========== My husband, Lucas, hates it when lids aren't properly put on jars. You know, when a lid is half on and still loose or haphazardly tightened and askew? I, on the other hand, could not care less. I am the only perpetrator of putting lids on wrong in our house. I barely screw on the top to the pickles, peanut butter, medications, water bottles, or food storage containers. I don't even realize that I do it because I care so little about it. This drives Lucas absolutely crazy. I love this example because it's what I would repeatedly tell Fatima: some habits are hard to break. Dr. Mosley knows her husband hates half-closed jars, but she struggles to comply with his wishes. We're imperfect creatures. ========== Is your partner always leaving a wet towel on the floor after showering? Red flag—they're irresponsible and will expect you to clean up after them. Is your friend bad at texting to let you know when they're behind schedule? Red flag—they're selfish, inconsiderate, and don't value your time. It's all too easy to weaponize this term in a relationship, in hopes that it will shame the other person into changing. ========== People aren't perfect. Individually, we're messy, and in relationships, we're much messier. We all make mistakes, sometimes repeatedly for our entire lives. Instead of labeling all unwanted behaviors as red flags and expecting change or running away altogether, try a new approach: Identify why those behaviors hurt you and share that with your loved one instead. ========== When confronted with the knowledge that we've hurt someone, many of us become defensive. We hate the idea of hurting the person we love and since we usually didn't intend to hurt them, we start explaining why our actions weren't that bad and why they shouldn't feel upset. It comes from a place of inadequacy, self-criticism, and remorse. If the other person responds like this but you can tell they care about your pain, this may be a good time to give them some grace in the form of empathy and time. Wait a few hours or even a few days, then try the conversation again. For every criticism I had about Fatima's behavior, she had 20 criticisms about my behavior. As a result, I had many more opportunities to fall into the trap of becoming defensive. It's so hard to resist. I'm still working on that front. ========== We all have a touch of narcissism, which can get bigger at certain points in life, ========== Conflicts are upsetting, and we've all developed ways of protecting ourselves, whether it's getting loud to be heard or emotionally withdrawing to prevent a panic attack. Underneath these less-than-ideal responses, though, we feel awful. We feel scared, insecure, inadequate, unimportant, and alone. We hate fighting with our loved ones, and we really hate that we've hurt them, especially unknowingly. We're not being defensive because we have a narcissistic belief in our own superiority; we're doing it because we're terrified that the person won't understand us and will see us negatively, so we need to show them our side and explain to them why we aren't to blame. ========== But whether it's an inflated ego, vanity, self-absorption, or just unusually healthy confidence, these traits do not make a narcissist. To have NPD, the person must also require external validation and admiration, and to be seen as superior to others. This is the difference between a big ego and grandiosity. Grandiosity goes several steps beyond confidence—it's a near-delusional sense of importance, where someone exaggerates their achievements and expects others to see them as superior. ========== Some people suck. They're immature, mean, selfish, and unremorseful. Some people don't respect other people in their lives. They lie and they cheat, and they don't care that it hurts others. But they can be all these things and still not be a narcissist. There's a lot of room for people to be awful without meeting the criteria for a personality disorder, and that's because (you guessed it!) people are flawed. Some people feel justified in behaving badly, while others just don't know any better yet. Our growth is messy and not linear. ========== The reality is that anyone who genuinely worries that they are a narcissist, probably isn't. That level of openness and willingness to self-reflect is not typical of a narcissist. Plus, narcissists don't tend to believe or care that they've hurt others, whereas my clients are deeply distressed by the possibility that they've unknowingly caused others pain. ========== As with gaslighting, I have rarely seen people accurately diagnose narcissism. To put it bluntly, I have never seen a client in a couples therapy session call their partner a narcissist and be right. In fact, the person misusing the label usually tends to be more narcissistic and have more therapy work to do than their partner. ========== person involved with a narcissist to accurately identify the disorder because people with NPD are great at making other people think they are the problem. It's an insidious process, and rarely do people realize what's happening until others point it out to them or the narcissist harshly devalues or leaves them. Now, you might be in a relationship with someone who has NPD, but instead of jumping to “narcissist!” it's helpful to use other adjectives and be more specific about your concerns. Saying that a certain behavior was selfish or that a person seems unremorseful is more exact than calling them a narcissist. ========== Love bombing can happen at any point in a relationship, but it's most often seen at the start. ========== Love bombing is also a typical follow-up to fights. ========== Humans are a complicated species. Despite our amazing cognitive capacities and our innate desire to be good (well, most of us anyway), we often cause harm. People act in ways that can damage their relationships, both intentionally and unknowingly, but that doesn't make them sociopaths. In fact, anyone in a close and meaningful relationship will end up hurting the other person and will also end up getting hurt at some point because close relationships inevitably involve a degree of pain, be it disappointment, sadness, anger, or frustration. Even when we're doing our best, we hurt each other. We can't equate normal missteps and hurt with sociopathy. ========== People love to call their exes sociopaths, just like they love calling them narcissists. Dr. Mosley focuses on the term sociopath because it's more popular nowadays than the term psychopath, but they both suffer from misuse and overuse, she says. If your partner (or you) use the term psychopath often, then in the following excerpts, replace the word “sociopath” with “psychopath.” ========== calling someone a sociopath is extreme. You're calling them out as a human who has an underdeveloped (or nonexistent) capacity to be a law-abiding, respectful, moral member of society. And in doing so, you're saying they were the entire problem in your relationship. Unless you were with a person who displayed a variety of extreme behaviors that qualify as ASPD, that conclusion isn't fair, accurate, or serving you. Again, you're missing out on the opportunity to reflect on your part in the problem, examine how you could have been more effective in the relationship, and identify how you can change for the better in your next relationship. If you label your ex a sociopath and call it a day, you're cutting yourself short. ========== Let the record show that I have never seen someone use the term sociopath correctly in their relationship. ========== some boundaries are universal and uncrossable, but the majority are personal preferences that need to be expressed and, at times, negotiated. Claiming a boundary violation is a quick and easy way to control someone's behavior, and that's why it's important to clarify what this phrase means and how to healthily navigate boundaries in a relationship. Fatima loved to remind me of and enforce her “boundaries.” It was a long list, so I inevitably crossed them, which led to drama. ========== There are some boundaries we all agree are important and should be uncrossable—I call these universal boundaries. Violating universal boundaries, especially when done repeatedly without remorse or regard for the impact it has on the other person, amounts to abuse. ========== The main [universal boundaries] are emotional, physical, sexual, and financial boundaries ========== Outside of these universal, uncrossable boundaries, there are also individual boundaries. Rather than applying to all people, these boundaries are specific to the person and defined by their own preferences and needs. As such, they are flexible, fluid over time, and full of nuance. If they are crossed, it can be uncomfortable, but it isn't necessarily abuse. ========== boundary is a line drawn to ensure safety and autonomy, whereas a preference is something that would make you feel happy but is not integral to your sense of relational security or independence. ========== While a well-adjusted person might start a dialogue about how to negotiate an individual boundary in a way that honors both partners' needs, an abusive person will never consider if their boundary can be shifted or why it might be damaging or significantly limiting to the other person. Instead, they will accuse, blame, and manipulate their partner as their way of keeping that person within their controlling limits. ========== The point is that as we go through life, our boundaries shift. As you can see, this is part of what makes it difficult for people to anticipate or assess boundary violations. If you expect and demand that the people close to you honor your specific boundaries on certain topics, but you're not telling them what the boundaries are or when and how they've changed, you're setting your loved ones up for failure. ========== And again, people unknowingly cross each other's individual boundaries all the time. It's simply inevitable. ========== It will create an unnecessary and unproductive rift. 3. We Mistake Preferences for Boundaries Boundaries protect our needs for safety and security. Preferences promote feelings of happiness, pleasure, or calm. When someone crosses a boundary, it compromises our physical or mental health. When someone disregards a preference, we may feel annoyed, but it doesn't pose a risk to our well-being. ========== You've Been Accused of Violating a Boundary If you're in a close relationship, chances are you're going to violate the other person's boundaries at some point. This is especially likely if the person has not told you what boundaries are important to them. However, you might also be unjustly accused of violating a boundary, perhaps a boundary you didn't know about or a preference masquerading as a boundary, and you'll need to know what to do. ========== I never thought of telling Fatima that she was “borderline.” It helps that I didn't know what the term meant. Dr. Mosley says that a person must have several of the “borderline” characteristics to have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Fatima only had one of them, so she did not have BPD. Here's the only BPD trait she exhibited: Stormy, intense, and chaotic relationships: Have relationships that tend to be characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation in which the person with BPD idolizes someone one moment and then vilifies them the next. Because they struggle to see others in a consistent and nuanced way, their relationships go through tumultuous ups and downs, where they desire intense closeness one minute and then reject the person the next. Fatima promised me, “I will love you forever,” “I want to marry you,” “I will be with you until death,” “I'll never leave you,” and other similar extreme promises. Three days later, she would dump me and tell me she never wanted to get back together. Two days later, she apologized and wanted to reunite. Soon, she would be making her over-the-top romantic declarations again. She'd write them and say them repeatedly, not just while making love. Eventually, I'd fuck up again. Instead of collaborating to prevent further fuck ups, Fatima would simply break up with me with little to no discussion. This would naturally make me question her sincerity when she repeatedly made her I-will-be-with-you-forever promises. You might wonder why I was so fucking stupid to reunite with her after she did that a couple of times. Why did I always beg her to reconsider and reunite with me even after we repeated the pattern four times? (The fifth time she dumped me was the last time.) Humans are messy. I expect imperfection. I know my loved one will repeatedly do stupid shit because I sure will. So, I forgave her knee-jerk breakup reaction because I knew she didn't do it out of malice. She did it to protect herself. She was in pain. She thought that pulling the plug would halt the pain. That's reasonable but wrong. That doesn't matter. She's learning, I figured. I need to be patient. I was hopeful we'd break the pattern and learn how to deal with conflict maturely. We didn't. I'm confident she'll figure it out soon, just like I learned from my mistakes with her. ========== If I had to pick one word to describe people with BPD, it would be unstable. Fatima was unstable in a narrow situation: only with one person (me) and only when the shit hit the fan with me. Aside from that, she was highly stable. Hence, it would have been ludicrous if I accused her of having Borderline Personality Disorder. Luckily, I never knew the overused borderline term; even if I did, I wouldn't be tempted to use it on her. ========== Just as with red flags, we all exhibit some toxic behaviors at times. I don't know anyone who has lived a toxic-free existence. Sometimes we go through tough phases where our communication and coping skills are down, and we'll act more toxically than we might normally; this doesn't make us a toxic person. Indeed, many romantic relationships go through toxic episodes, if you will (should we make “toxic episode” a thing?), where people aren't communicating well, are escalating conflicts, and are generally behaving badly. We need to normalize a certain level of temporary or situational toxicity while also specifying what we mean by saying “toxic.” This is the only way we can determine whether the relationship needs help or needs ending. ========== trauma is itself a heavy, often misunderstood word. Its original meaning referenced what we now call “big T” trauma: life-threatening events such as going to war or surviving a car crash. Nowadays, we also talk about “little t” trauma: events that cause significant distress but aren't truly life-threatening, like being bullied in school or having an emotionally inconsistent parent. ========== Avoiding relationships with anyone who triggers hard feelings will mean a very lonely existence. ========== a trauma bond is the connection that survivors feel with their abuser. ========== A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== soldiers aren't trauma bonded after going to war together; they're socially bonded, albeit in an unusually deep way. A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== None of us get to have a happy relationship without hard times and hard work. It's normal and okay to sometimes struggle with the person you're close to or love. When the struggle happens, don't despair. Within the struggle are opportunities to invest in the relationship and grow, individually and together. ========== If you determine your relationship is in a tough spot but not abusive, now's the time for some hard relational work. A good cocktail for working on your relationship is specificity, vulnerability, and commitment. ========== Making a relationship work requires you and your loved ones to self-reflect, take responsibility, and change. This process won't just happen once; it's a constant cycle you'll go through repeatedly over the course of the relationship. You'll both need to look at yourselves, own what you've done wrong or could do better, and work to improve. Nobody is ever finished learning and growing, not individually and certainly not in a relationship. But that's what can be so great about being in a relationship: It's a never-ending opportunity to become a better person. And when you mess up (because trust me, you will), be kind to yourself. As I keep saying, humans are wonderfully imperfect. Even when we know what to do, sometimes we just don't or can't do it. ========== In this world of messy humans, how do you know who will be a good person for you to be with? My answer: Choose someone who wants to keep doing the work with you. There is no perfect person or partner for you, no magical human that won't ever hurt, irritate, enrage, or overwhelm you. Being in close relationships inevitably leads to big, scary feelings at times, so pick someone who wants to get through the dark times with you. Remember that when people are behaving badly in a desperate attempt to connect—not control—they'll be able to look at themselves, recognize the bad behavior, and change. Pick someone who has the willingness to self-reflect and grow, even if it's hard. Someone who will hang in there, even during your worst fights, and ultimately say, “Listen, this is awful, and I don't want to keep arguing like this, but I love you and I want to figure this out with you.” Wow. So well said. And this, in a paragraph, explains where Fatima and I failed. I dislike pointing fingers at my ex when explaining why we broke up. I made 90% of the mistakes in my relationship with Fatima, so I bear most of the responsibility. However, Fatima was the weaker one on one metric: having someone who wants to collaborate to make a beautiful relationship despite the hardships. The evident proof is that she dumped me five times, whereas I never dumped her or even threatened to dump her. I always wanted to use our problems as a chance to learn and improve. Fatima used them as an excuse to quit. She tried. She really did. However, she lacked the commitment Dr. Mosley discussed in that paragraph. Perhaps another man will inspire Fatima to find the strength and courage to bounce back and not throw in the towel. Or maybe she will mature and evolve to a point where she can be with someone less compatible than I was for her. She would often declare, “Francis, we're incompatible.” I'd say, “No, we are compatible; we have incompatibilities. Everyone has incompatibilities. We just need to work through them. If there is a willingness to collaborate, we can solve any incompatibility. The only couples who are truly incompatible are the ones where one or both individuals refuse to budge or learn. We can overcome countless incompatibilities as long as we both want to be together.” ========== We have wounds and scars and bad habits. We rely on ineffective but protective coping mechanisms. We push others away when we're hurt or scared. ========== Everyone behaves badly sometimes. But even then, odds are they're not gaslighting you. Conclusion I'll repeat: They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship is my favorite book in 2025! Buy it! Feedback Leave anonymous audio feedback at SpeakPipe More info You can post comments, ask questions, and sign up for my newsletter at http://wanderlearn.com. If you like this podcast, subscribe and share! On social media, my username is always FTapon. Connect with me on: Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram TikTok LinkedIn Pinterest Tumblr My Patrons sponsored this show! Claim your monthly reward by becoming a patron at http://Patreon.com/FTapon Rewards start at just $2/month! 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Today we answer a ton of your question and announce a fun book club opportunity if you are looking for some homemaking inspiration over the upcoming break. We cover topics such as church life, homemaking tips, parenting toddlers in public, and permanent birth control.Thank-you to our sponsors:Voetberg Music Academy:Use our code HOMEMAKER20 to get 20% off every month your family is enrolled, and learn music in a way that sticks.https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com/Wild: Go to https://shopwildrefill.com/HoneyImHomemaker-3 and use the code HONEYIMHOMEMAKER20 for 20% off of your purchase!!Watch our first 3 seasons: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqdjqwDnpIMx_GhVzCWsT4LF-1EsRhwJm&si=8hmyDW0lI4-yWhQ-Watch our first 3 seasons: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqdjqwDnpIMx_GhVzCWsT4LF-1EsRhwJm&si=8hmyDW0lI4-yWhQ-Please subscribe! You can also find this podcast on Spotify and iTunes!Shop Megan's lifestyle brand FoxSparrow over at www.meganfoxunlocked.comShop Megan's Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/meganfoxunlockedShop Jayna's Amazon Storefront:https://www.amazon.com/shop/jaynalynnhandmade?ref_=cm_sw_r_apann_aipsfshop_aipsfjaynalynnhandmade_8JT0JHV8AH0KP8VJX5XN&language=en_USSign up for Scribd: (audiobook library): https://www.scribd.com/gitx/a33qb4(If you use this link you'll get a free month trial!)Chairs: https://www.walmart.com/ip/SINGES-Acc...Wallpaper: https://glnk.io/4x0x0/meganfoxunlockedgmailcomUse code MEGAN35Lamp: https://amzn.to/46Dyuy7Mustard throw: (the softest thing you've ever felt!) https://amzn.to/39CgZG2Contact/Collab: meganfoxunlocked@gmail.comP.O. BOX- send us some mail!P.O. BOX 9Akron, PA 17501Follow us on Instagram:Honey I'm Homemaker: https://www.instagram.com/honeyimhomemaker/ Megan: https://www.instagram.com/meganfoxunlocked/Jayna: https://www.instagram.com/jaynaburkholder/Megan's Business: https://www.instagram.com/shopfoxsparrow/Jayna's Business: https://www.instagram.com/jaynalynnhandmade/0:00 Adventures at the grocery store6:15 Housekeeping14:19 What to do when your choice was taken away from you? 17:00 Favorite book of the Bible18:39 What could cause you to leave your church? 22:27 Treated poorly for being a Mennonite. 24:39 Speed meals when in a pinch27:16 What do we cut out of the podcast?28:20 Decluttering 29:44 Disagreeing with our husband31:59 Toddler tantrums34:06 Kids playing war games35:51 Future homemaking projects37:06 Anxiety 42:30 Attending church and potluck help!44:51 Cutting it down to one income47:15 Are we family friendly?48:15 Having a baby at 5050:30 Those first months of marriageSome links are affiliate links. Thanks for supporting my channel!Music from YouTube and Epidemic Sound
Lords: * Lena * Droqen Topics: * Kill gameplay * https://droqen.itch.io/the-end-of-gameplay * The thrill of firefighting on live service games, and how to stop * It was D and K who showed me the way * https://newforum.droqen.com/index.php?topic=705 Microtopics: * Great content. * Multiplayer games that are focused on human connection. * Farmers' markets. * Kinopio. (The mind-mapping software.) * Just barfing stuff onto the page. * Looking at a piece of software that someone has polished for fifteen years and being astounded. * Weird ego boosts. * Meeting hundreds of people whose names you recognize from the Internet and they're all like "I love the thing you made." * Pursuing the thing that other people say is good about your work and forgetting what you liked about it yourself. * A nebulous idea whose lot in life is to be dominated by more concrete ideas. * Making your next game with the intention of killing your most popular game. * Unlocking creative expression into a vessel. * Tolerating a combat system to get to the good parts of a game. * Playing a game because you enjoy pushing the buttons. * A museum exhibit of a hundred different platformer control schemes. * Using your ability to hang out with people to tell them a story. * A list of all the ideas you've ever had. * The safety of watching the numbers go up. * An interaction that exists to be self-perpetuating. * Advertising as a way to tell people that a thing exists vs. all the noxious cruft that we've grown on top of that idea. * Game addiction as a thing that is desirable. * Games that grip you as tightly as possible vs. games that gracefully end and allow you to stop playing. * Game developers accidentally discovering that they can Skinner Box people and then deciding "let's build our entire industry around that forever" * The mantra you use to remind yourself to not put gameplay in your games. * Trying to detect the humanity in a work of art. * Trying to express your experiences in a medium and knowing you at least have an audience of one. (Yourself.) * Disagreeing about color names. * It's Thanksgiving and people are at-ing you on Twitter that your online service isn't working. * Moving fast enough that you don't have time to sit with your thoughts and second-guess yourself. * The true meaning of a Lord. * How to sit with the discomfort of uncertainty. * Solving a problem before you get the chance to wonder whether solving the problem aligns with your values. * Running an online world that gets hacked and rolling back only 98% of the hack, leaving enough to remind people that this is a world with a living history. * Ruminating about your past actions as a way to learn how to behave in the future. * Acting without reflection because you can't reflect and act at the same time. * It doesn't matter what you do as long as you feel really bad about it afterwards. * How to stop. * Don't make live service games. * Sitting with the knowledge that you are going to make mistakes. * Staring at blue-green walls. * The most juicy fire-fighting that's available. * The horrible steak that is life. * Trying to construct your life so that you are doing something thrilling and important for one to four hours per day and then relaxing. * The introverted fire fighter who has his own personal cardboard box to cover his head with as he's hanging out at the station. * What's-his-letter? * If Heaven's so good, why haven't they made a Heaven 2? * Making a one-user forum for yourself. * Poetry 2: it's when you do something interesting with forum posts. * Doing something for brain reasons and then people who you inspire do the same things to so they can pretend to have the same brain reasons. * Adding everyone who ever influenced you to the credits of your game. * Intentionally excluding the U. * Suck it, English orthography!
Gavin Ortlund reflects about the state of Christian discourse online.See the book The Art of Disagreeing: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Disagreeing-Conversations-disagreement-resolution/dp/1802541403Truth Unites (https://truthunites.org) exists to promote gospel assurance through theological depth. Gavin Ortlund (PhD, Fuller Theological Seminary) is President of Truth Unites, Visiting Professor of Historical Theology at Phoenix Seminary, and Theologian-in-Residence at Immanuel Nashville.SUPPORT:Tax Deductible Support: https://truthunites.org/donate/Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/truthunitesFOLLOW:Website: https://truthunites.org/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/truth.unites/Twitter: https://twitter.com/gavinortlundFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/TruthUnitesPage/
Do you communicate like a high impact leader? Find out if your communication style is earning you the respect, influence, and results of a high impact leader. Tune in to discover: ✔️ How to respond assertively and effectively to criticism about your communication style. ✔️ Optimal ways to handle interruptions and disagreements in meetings. ✔️ Strategies for owning and communicating mistakes to your team. ✔️ Techniques for presenting ideas to senior leadership with confidence. ✔️ Approaches to engaging and influencing others in cross-functional projects. 00:00 Introduction to High Impact Leadership 01:04 Why Speaking Like a High Impact Leader Matters 01:31 Quiz Introduction and Instructions 02:11 Handling Criticism: Optimal Responses 06:09 Dealing with Interruptions in Meetings 08:29 Disagreeing with Superiors Effectively 11:27 Owning and Fixing Mistakes 12:58 Communicating Ideas to Senior Leadership 14:50 Managing Missed Deadlines in Cross-Functional Projects 16:24 Participation in Team Meetings 19:21 Conclusion and Encouragement 20:36 Conclusion and Resources ✅ Take the Quiz 'Do You Speak Like a High-Impact Leader?': https://myassertiveway.outgrow.us/highimpactleader ✅ Free Newsletter: https://assertiveway.com/newsletter/ ✅ Listen on the Speak Your Mind Unapologetically podcast on Apple Itunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/speak-your-mind-unapologetically-podcast/id1623647915 ✅ Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6L1myPkiJXYf5SGrublYz2 ✅ Order our book, ‘Unapologetic Voice: 101 Real-World Strategies for Brave Self Advocacy & Bold Leadership' where each strategy is also a real story: https://www.amazon.com/Unapologetic-Voice-Real-World-Strategies-Leadership-ebook/dp/B0CW2X4WWL/ ✅ Follow the show host, Ivna Curi, on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ivna-curi-mba-67083b2/ ✅ Request A Customized Workshop For Your Team And Company: http://assertiveway.com/workshops Contact me: info@assertiveway.com or ivnacuri@assertiveway.com Contact me on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ivna-curi-mba-67083b2 ✅ Support The Podcast Rate the podcast on apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/speak-your-mind-unapologetically-podcast/id1623647915
In this special republish episode science journalist David McRaney joins us to explore the surprising science behind belief, persuasion, and why minds change. We discuss tribal truth, perceptual differences (remember the dress?), and why Step Zero—examining why you want to change someone's mind—is essential for meaningful dialogue. Topics [4:18] Welcome and speed round questions. [11:18] How minds change vs. how to change minds. [14:35] How is elaboration different from learning? [27:27] Mini Grooving Session on the difference between beliefs, opinions and attitudes. [34:09] Why do you want to change someone's mind? [41:03] The moment David realized he should question why, not just how to change minds. [52:55] Mini Grooving Session on why to change minds. [57:27] Why some see the dress as gold & white and some see it as blue & black. [1:18:28] Mini Grooving Session on the dress and the crocs. [1:22:15] Truth is tribal. [1:35:33] Mini Grooving Session on having a social safety net. [1:40:38] What was the catalyst for David becoming interested in conspiracy theories? [1:46:19] How to get people off the conspiratorial loop? [1:51:23] What musical artists would David take to a desert island? ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion by David McRaney More on David McRaney You Are Not So Smart Podcast Wallisch, Pascal & Karlovich, Michael. (2019). Disagreeing about Crocs and socks: Creating profoundly ambiguous color displays The dress Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Music Links Radiohead - No Surprises Colin Stetson - Spindrift
For episode 236, I'm joined once again by my co-host Myles Hughes, with producer Steve Prusakowski behind the scenes preparing for Emmys and a new season of TV Topics, so look out for that soon. This time around, we have two main components to the episode. We get into the new Oscar rules from the Academy, as well as debate a pair of new releases. One is Sinners (my rave review is here), now that Myles has seen it. The other is the second season so far of The Last of Us. Sinners, we're both absolutely over the moon for. The Last of Us? Well, not so much, as you'll find out. My take is here, particularly in light of what the series just depicted...As always my friends and faithful listeners/readers, I do hope you all enjoy the latest episode of the Awards Radar Podcast, our 236th one to date (here's to many more). Of course, feel free to revisit the previous installments by clicking the Podcast tab (here) on the top of the page. Plus, listen to us on Apple Podcasts (iTunes), Spotify, and other platforms. More to come each and every single week, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for listening!
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In this episode, we're missing Felicia - one-fourth of our quartet. We miss you Fee! So Codie, Melanie, and Ashley get real about when they disagree with their husbands on parenting decisions - from routines and discipline to visions for their kids' futures. The Mamas share the importance of self-awareness, how they compromise with their partners, and how sometimes, you just have to pick their battles...Don't worry fellas, Ashley holds it down for the husbands' point-of-view! This one's a good convo for both sides!======We love getting Listener Letters! Send any thoughts or questions for the Mamas at podcasts@blacklove.com.Make sure you connect with our Mamas:Ashley - @watermeloneggrollsCodie - @codiecoFelicia - @felicialatourMelanie - @melaniefiona
Today's Episode is a fiery one where I hold nothing back. A grief hot take if you will. We explore the deeply personal journey through grief and the belief that healing is possible. I share my personal story of baby loss, including the hurdles faced during the mourning period, and offer a passionate counterview to the notion that grief remains static. By using relatable analogies and real-life examples, I emphasize the importance of holding onto hope and the idea that while grief never fully disappears, it becomes more manageable over time. This episode is a heartfelt message to anyone grappling with miscarriage, stillbirth, or baby loss, encouraging them to find strength and embrace the journey towards better days. 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:45 The Myth: It Never Gets Better 02:55 Personal Struggles and Hope 05:10 The Grief Ball Theory 06:11 Disagreeing with the Grief Ball Theory 07:41 A Personal Story of Pain and Healing 12:31 The Journey of Healing 13:15 A Story of a Broken Leg 19:11 Phases of Healing 27:11 The Importance of Hope and Faith 33:08 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Get support from Amy! Click HERE Follow me on Instagram! @amy.smoothstonescoaching Visit my website. Photo by BritaneeJean Photography Music by ZingDog on Pond5
Get into our brand new course, Professional English Level 1. Save $100 off the normal price. Offer expires April 20th at midnight. Improve your English for: presentations meetings interviews small talk more Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Whether it be a tough conversation you need to have with an employee or need to de-escalate an issue or job gone awry with a customer, we are unlocking the tools to better prepare ourselves for the dynamic of crucial conversations. With a passion for this topic, NCG Sr. Business Coach Colin is here to share key points from “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when the Stakes are High” with practical application to the relationships and conflicts we often encounter.
In this day and age, disagreeing with someone's take on a subject can lead to you being cancelled. unfortunately. but today we're going to talk about a take on sneaker culture that didn't quite sit well. tune in to find out.and as always with The UFG Podcast, you'll get your weekly sneaker drops and sports news. comment down below your thoughts and don't forget to like and subscribe!
In an age of polarised politics “cancel culture” and online echo chambers, it can feel as though respectful disagreement is a dying art. However, across the world's faith traditions, argument isn't something to be avoided. Jesus questioned, challenged, and debated—often with religious leaders of his day. Abraham argued with God in the Hebrew scriptures. Across many religions, sacred texts are filled with dialogue, debate, and the wrestling of ideas.Rosa Hunt is joined by an inter-faith panel to discuss whether it is possible to reclaim the art of argument, not as a fight to be won, but as a practice of deeper understanding. Gavin Ortlund is a pastor and theologian based in Tennessee. He's the author of the recently published ‘The Art of Disagreeing' and runs the YouTube channel, ‘Truth Unites'. Raphael Zarum is the Dean of the London School of Jewish Studies and holds the Rabbi Sacks Chair in Modern Jewish Thought. Imam Faisal Khajjou is from the Revive Academy in Newport. Joanna Williams is a Baptist minister and a trainer in conflict transformation. She works with the Blackley Centre to help churches and communities build peaceful relationships and resolve conflicts.
It feels as if we're living in a time when people have lost the ability to discuss something, disagree about it, and still walk away as friends. How can we, as followers of Jesus, relearn the lost art of disagreeing well?Furthermore, what does it look like to be convince-able but not gullible? Join hosts Jake Silvera and Luke and Janelle Heirendt for this important conversation.
Matthew 16:21-23
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
You can find Sam at @transfigured3673 You can find Elizabeth @thesacredpodcast 00:00:00 - Introduction 00:04:30 - Paul's introduction 00:09:45 - Elizabeth's introduction 00:16:00 - Context collapse 00:20:30 - Collective Effervescence 00:27:00 - What holds TLC together? 00:32:15 - Morally formative communities 00:47:10 - Communion and Fellowship in TLC 01:00:00 - Disagreeing well 01:11:40 - Men and Women being vulnerable together 01:34:45 - Hospitality 01:37:15 - Concluding Remarks Paul Vander Klay clips channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX0jIcadtoxELSwehCh5QTg Midwestuary Conference August 22-24 in Chicago https://www.midwestuary.com/ https://www.meetup.com/sacramento-estuary/ My Substack https://paulvanderklay.substack.com/ Estuary Hub Link https://www.estuaryhub.com/ If you want to schedule a one-on-one conversation check here. https://calendly.com/paulvanderklay/one2one There is a video version of this podcast on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/paulvanderklay To listen to this on ITunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/paul-vanderklays-podcast/id1394314333 If you need the RSS feed for your podcast player https://paulvanderklay.podbean.com/feed/ All Amazon links here are part of the Amazon Affiliate Program. Amazon pays me a small commission at no additional cost to you if you buy through one of the product links here. This is is one (free to you) way to support my videos. https://paypal.me/paulvanderklay Blockchain backup on Lbry https://odysee.com/@paulvanderklay https://www.patreon.com/paulvanderklay Paul's Church Content at Living Stones Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh7bdktIALZ9Nq41oVCvW-A To support Paul's work by supporting his church give here. https://tithe.ly/give?c=2160640 https://www.livingstonescrc.com/give
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
Disagreeing doesn't mean disrespecting. We can hold different views and still treat each other with kindness and consideration. Focus on the issue, not the person.Social MediaInstagram https://www.instagram.com/jaimeertakeoverr/Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/search?term=jaimeertakeoverrTwitter https://twitter.com/jaimeertakeoverTikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@jaimeertakeoverr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pcSpotify https://open.spotify.com/show/2h0daCcrMMgixG4DsyFGa0?si=pnIWA-ykSOil2JGkITZMAA
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
For more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
In this episode of Mental Wealth, I delve into the importance of disagreeing respectfully. I discuss how differing opinions often lead to disrespect and deteriorating relationships. I emphasize understanding others' perspectives shaped by their experiences, avoiding personal attacks, and the pitfalls of idolizing political figures. Using a personal anecdote I illustrates the value of providing a safe space for diverse opinions. The episode covers key techniques for respectful disagreement, such as active listening, using 'I' statements, remaining calm, and finding common ground. The importance of addressing emotional triggers and presenting disagreements professionally, especially with authority figures, is highlighted. I also stresses the significance of self-reflection and open-mindedness in maintaining healthy relationships.00:00 Introduction to Respectful Disagreement01:03 Personal Experience with Disagreement01:56 The Role of Politics in Division03:52 Techniques for Respectful Disagreement06:22 Dynamics of Disagreement07:13 Handling Emotional Triggers16:19 Respectful Disagreement with Authority20:05 Disagreeing in Group Settings21:50 Practicing Respectful Disagreement23:06 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsSocial MediaInstagram https://www.instagram.com/jaimeertakeoverr/Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/search?term=jaimeertakeoverrTwitter https://twitter.com/jaimeertakeoverTikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@jaimeertakeoverr?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc
The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard ConversationsOrtlund, GavinFor more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard ConversationsOrtlund, GavinFor more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard ConversationsOrtlund, GavinFor more information about this group, please visit their website at reformationboise.com. Every weekday at 8:00am you can listen to The Gospel for Life on 94.1 The Voice in the Treasure Valley, Idaho, USA. If you have a question, comment, or even a topic suggestion for the Pastors, you can email them. Phone: (208) 991-3526E-mail: thegospelforlifeidaho@gmail.comPodcast website: https://941thevoice.com/podcasts/gospel-for-life/
The Gemara specifies what kinds of cases need to be brought before the experts on the court. Plus, discussion of "going up" to the land of Israel, and then Jerusalem, for that expertise. Plus, a return to the case of the rebellious elder who goes against the teachings coming from the Sanhedrin in Jerusalem. Also, Rav Pappa parses each detail of a baraita, quite thoroughly, to line it up with Rabbi Meir's approach on the rebelliious elder and also connect to other disputes.
Everyone wants love and community in a fractured world. What happens when they are lost? Host Curtis Chang and Pete Wehner, a columnist for The Atlantic and former White House staffer, explore the deep sense of political, cultural, and spiritual exile felt by many Americans. Reflecting on Pete's journey from shaping policy during 9/11 to breaking from the Republican Party over Donald Trump, they discuss the challenges of shifting identities while staying true to one's convictions. Drawing from the Psalms, cognitive psychology, and Christian history, they offer a vision for engaging culture and finding new purpose amid political disillusionment and feelings of living in exile, even in the place you call home. This episode revisits a past conversation to examine cognitive dissonance and the pursuit of truth in times of uncertainty. Send written questions or voice memos for “Ask Curtis” episodes to: askcurtis@redeemingbabel.org Get a 25% discount when you buy The Art of Disagreeing by Gavin Ortland at thegoodbook.com with code: GOODFAITH Resources From This Episode: Psalm 126 (New Living Translation) Winston Churchill's Painting as a Pastime A Short History Of The Dardanelles Campaign The GOP and the Birther Trap (article) by Pete Wehner Jonathan Haidt's The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion Jonathan Rauch's The Constitution of Knowledge: A Defense of Truth Jeremiah 29 (New Living Translation) Makoto Fujimura's Culture Care: Reconnecting with Beauty for Our Common Life Mark Labberton's talk: The Deep Work of a New Creation Mark Labberton's talk: Beauty in Exile Rodney Stark (books) Russell Moore clip: “Jesus is a hood ornament” 2 Corinthians 5 New Living Translation More From Pete Wehner: Read Peter Wehner's latest article: MAGA Has Found a New Model Peter Wehner's The Atlantic opinion pieces Peter Wehner at The Trinity Forum Follow Us: Good Faith on Instagram Good Faith on X (formerly Twitter) Good Faith on Facebook Sign up: Redeeming Babel Newsletter
The world has become too black and white. The mentality should not be, either you're with me or against me. The world is nuanced and many topics and issues are filled with shades of grey. That is why it is unfortunate that discourse in this country has become so childish to the point where if someone disagrees with you then you take it as a personal slight. This is not the case. People can and will disagree with you in life and you just have to talk with them with an open mind while also standing firm in your beliefs. Then when the dust has settled, shake hands and go about your day like an adult.____________________________________________ How to find Philip Blackett: https://www.instagram.com/philipblackett/ https://www.amazon.com/stores/Philip-Blackett/author/B0CWL2ZDNC?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true ____________________________________________ Music from #InAudio: https://inaudio.org/ Infraction - Training Day If you are tired of feeling lost, alone, isolated, and aimless then check out our coaching program specifically designed to help men become the hero in their story. We forge men into leaders. We turn cowards into Kings. We turn weaklings into Warriors. Join us in The Elite Sentinel Forge to start your transformation: https://www.theelitesentinel.com/ OUR MERCH STORE IS LIVE! Check out this amazing dad gear: https://thepresentfathers.shop/ We use Riverside to record. Try it for yourself! https://www.riverside.fm/?via=presentfathers Get discovered! Use PodMatch to get on your next podcast or find your next guest! https://www.joinpodmatch.com/presentfathers We are "The Present Father's Podcast", the podcast that focuses on climbing the mountain of fatherhood together. Subscribe to the Channel and Share our podcast with men you believe would benefit from it. It is our goal to provide a positive outlet for Dads to grow and foster a strong legacy of fatherhood that is present and involved with their children. Visit https://presentfathers.com/ to learn more about us and catch all of our old episodes!
What is the hidden influence of Christianity in American society—and what happens if it disappears? Host Curtis Chang sits down with Jonathan Rauch, senior fellow at the Brookings Institute and author of Cross Purposes: Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy, to explore how Judeo-Christian values have shaped democracy and what their decline means for our political and social landscape. They discuss the rise of fear within the evangelical church, political polarization, and make the case for Christian virtues as a stabilizing force at the heart of the American republic. Whether you're a believer or a skeptic, it's important to understand why Christianity's influence extends far beyond the church—and why its disappearance could reshape the future of democracy. Send written questions or voice memos for “Ask Curtis” episodes to: askcurtis@redeemingbabel.org Get a 25% discount when you buy The Art of Disagreeing by Gavin Ortland at thegoodbook.com with code: GOODFAITH Resources from this episode: Jonathan Rauch's 2003 The Atlantic article Let It Be Jonathan Rauch's Cross Purposes: Christianity's Broken Bargain with Democracy The rise of the AfD in Germany France holds off the far right Pew Research: Modeling the Future of Religion in America James Madison and religious freedom Can the Religious Right Be Saved? by Dr. Russell Moore Dr. Timothy Keller: Suffering: If God is good, why is there so much evil in the world? Learn more about The After Party More From Jonathan Rauch: Read the latest article by Jonathan Rauch: One Word Describes Trump Jonathan Rauch's The Constitution of Knowledge: A Defense of Truth Jonathan Rauch's work at the Brookings Institute Jonathan Rauch's The Atlantic articles Follow Us: Good Faith on Instagram Good Faith on X (formerly Twitter) Good Faith on Facebook Sign up: Redeeming Babel Newsletter
Bob Bordone discusses the importance of building conflict resilience and how it can help you navigate the tough conversations. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) How conflict resilience brings people together 2) The key to raising your conflict tolerance 3) How to face any conflict head-on in three easy steps Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1035 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT BOB — Robert Bordone is a Senior Fellow at Harvard Law School, founder and former director of the Harvard Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Program, former Thaddeus R. Beal Clinical Professor of Law at Harvard Law School, and founder of The Cambridge Negotiation Institute. He is co-author of Designing Systems and Processes for Managing Disputes, and co-editor of The Handbook of Dispute Resolution. • Book: Conflict Resilience: Negotiating Disagreement Without Giving Up or Giving In • Book site: ConflictResilienceBook.com • Website: BobBordone.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton • Book: The Count of Monte Cristo (Penguin Classics) by Alexandre DumasSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Move From toxicity to trust, healing, and renewed faith. Host Curtis Chang and Mike Cosper, creator of "The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill" investigate the unsettling realities of church abuse and the unchecked authority that breeds toxicity within faith communities. Drawing from his latest book, "The Church in Dark Times," Cosper discusses the urgent need for accountability in evangelical settings, using the Mars Hill case as a poignant example. Curtis and Mike explore the intersection of leadership and emotional and spiritual abuse to help us all discover pathways to healing and rebuilding trust in the aftermath of betrayal. Don't miss this insightful conversation on the dynamics of power and the importance of safeguarding church values. Send written questions or voice memos for “Ask Curtis” episodes to: askcurtis@redeemingbabel.org Get a 25% discount when you buy The Art of Disagreeing by Gavin Ortland at thegoodbook.com with code: GOODFAITH Resources from this episode: Mike Cosper's The Church in Dark Times Listen to The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill Paul Petry's Joyful Exiles blog Mike Cosper's Land of My Sojourn Learn more about Hannah Arendt Hannah Arendt on Adolf Eichmann for the New Yorker: part 1 & part 2 Kant's Argument for Radical Evil by Stephen R. Grimm (pdf) Hannah Arendt's The Origins of Totalitarianism Listen to Dr. Timothy Keller: Don't Despair, God Isolates You for a Reason Listen to Dr. Timothy Keller: How to Deal With Dark Times Listen to Dr. Timothy Keller: Counter-Culture for the Common Good More From Mike Cosper: Books by Mike Cosper HERE Listen to Mike on The Bulletin Listen to Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Follow Mike's Instagram Follow Us: Good Faith on Instagram Good Faith on X (formerly Twitter) Good Faith on Facebook Sign up: Redeeming Babel Newsletter
Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!When you don't agree with your spouse, it can be incredibly frustrating. It might be something where you absolutely HAVE TO come to some sort of resolution, but you are both hard set in your views.Handling divisive topics in marriage is extremely important. On one hand, you want to be able to learn how to have healthy compromise with one another. On the other hand, you don't want to go against your own beliefs and values or to become a doormat for your spouse to run right over you and control the situation.So in today's episode of Relationship Radio, we talk about how to handle divisive topics in marriage. Get ready to take some notes!
Rebecca and Gavin Ortlund dive into the art of disagreeing while maintaining relationships. They explore biblical insights and discuss the balance between boldness and love in conversations, especially when addressing religious and ideological differences. Whether navigating disagreements with friends or discussing contentious issues, this episode provides thoughtful guidance for engaging in meaningful and respectful dialogue.Follow Gavin:YouTube, X, Instagram, and WebsiteThe Story of Jesus is designed for churches to use during evangelism and outreach events to help readers understand who Jesus is so they may believe and have life in his name. Pick up a copy wherever books are sold or visit crossway.org/plus to learn how you can get 30 percent off with a Crossway plus account.Sign up for weekly emails at RebeccaMcLaughlin.org/SubscribeFollow Confronting Christianity:Instagram | XProduced by The Good Podcast Co.
As Democrats grapple with defining their principles and message, we're joined by Jen Psaki, host of MSNBC's "Inside with Jen Psaki" and "The Blueprint with Jen Psaki" podcast. Also drawing on her political experience, including as White House Press Secretary under Biden, we discuss who is (or isn't) shaping Democratic policy, how media can better cut through noise to inform the public, and the core values that should guide the party's future. Follow The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart on social media for more: > YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@weeklyshowpodcast > Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/weeklyshowpodcast > TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@weeklyshowpodcast > X: https://x.com/weeklyshowpod > BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/theweeklyshowpodcast.com Host/Executive Producer – Jon Stewart Executive Producer – James Dixon Executive Producer – Chris McShane Executive Producer – Caity Gray Lead Producer – Lauren Walker Producer – Brittany Mehmedovic Video Editor & Engineer – Rob Vitolo Audio Editor & Engineer – Nicole Boyce Researcher & Associate Producer – Gillian Spear Music by Hansdle Hsu — This podcast is brought to you by: ZipRecruiter Try it for free at this exclusive web address: ziprecruiter.com/ZipWeekly Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Pastor Courtney tackles the thorny topic of how to bear with others when they aren't as right as we are about everything. (We kid.) Plus: wisdom from 1 Corinthians 8.
In this episode I once again host a dialogue between Daniel Ingram and Delson Armstrong. Daniel Ingram is an independent Buddhist writer, author of ‘Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha', and co-founder of the Emergent Phenomenology Research Consortium (EPRC). Delson Armstrong is a spiritual teacher, author of 'A Mind Without Craving', and founder of the Freedom of Mind foundation. Daniel offers his response to Delson's recent renunciations, warns about the power of self hypnosis, and explains why it is so common for people to revise their enlightenment claims. Delson considers how it was that he mistook the nature of his spiritual achievements, considers the impact of his renunciation on his practice community and students, and looks ahead to his own future as a teacher and guide. Daniel and Delson address criticisms they have both received for their revisions of important Buddhist doctrines such as the 4 path model of awakening, comment on gatekeeping and fundamentalism in Buddhism, and consider whether advances in contemplative neuroscience may pose a serious threat to traditional religions and their institutions. … Also available on Youtube, iTunes, & Spotify. … 01:51 - The situation 04:36 - Daniel's response to Delson's renunciation 07:14 - Early schism in Buddhism 08:20 - Does Daniel feel vindicated? 09:42 - Delson reflects on what he has learned from Daniel 12:34 - The snake has shed its skin 13:29 - Profound not simple 14:26 - Neurodiversity and the spiritual path 16:54 - Hypnotising yourself into believing you're enlightened 19:17 - How did Delson get his enlightenment wrong? 22:22 - Social factors 24:13 - A gradual process 25:06 - Gatekeepin in Buddhism 27:35 - Jack Kornfield and Christopher Titmuss 30:51 - Social influence on perceptions of spiritual progress 33:35 - Relationships 35:21 - The World Without Sin 38:43 - Can you ever go back? Spoiling the party 40:38 - Delson on negative reactions from his community 43:57 - Attached to models, experiences, and perfection? 46:17 - Stages of development 47:17 - Leading with vulnerability 48:45 - A different type of practitioner 49:55 - The appeal of Vajrayāna 52:21 - Specific criticisms of Daniel and Delson 54:19 - Why do Daniel & Delson revise Buddhism? 56:43 - Delson's critics 59:51 - Transference and counter-transference 01:01:18 - Tantric guru yoga 01:01:47 - When your guru disappoints 01:02:05 - Bhikkhu Anālayo and Daniel's other critics 01:02:27 - Neuroscience and religious orthodoxy 01:06:34 - Will neuroscience destroy Buddhism? 01:10:24 - Praise for the Theravāda 01:11:45 - Theravādan exceptionalism 01:12:37 - Validating or defeating religion? 01:15:43 - Finders' Course and retrenchment to orthodoxy 01:17:57 - Delson on contemplative neuroscience 01:20:39 - What does Daniel think will next happen to Delson? 01:23:23 - Maturing as a spiritual explorer 01:26:33 - Attachment styles & kalyāṇa-mittatā 01:28:40 - Loss of enthusiasm for practice in advanced practitioners 01:31:18 - Micro-renunciations and disgust for the quest 01:33:42 - When spiritual teachers lose their faith 0135:28 - How Delson keeps his interest in teaching 01:38:20 - Why Daniel decided not to become a teacher 01:40:32 - Delson's closing remarks 01:40:45 - Daniel's closing remarks 01:41:04 - Praise for the religious orthodoxy 01:42:21 - Acknowledging critics 01:43:17 - Disagreeing with grace and respect … Previous dialogue between Daniel and Delson: - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znX6w6shQ7c Previous episodes with Daniel: - https://www.guruviking.com/search?q=daniel Previous episodes with Delson: - https://www.guruviking.com/search?q=delson To find out more about Daniel, visit: - https://theeprc.org/ - integrateddaniel.info To find out more about Delson, visit: - https://www.delsonarmstrong.com/ - https://www.youtube.com/@delson999 - https://www.freedom-of-mind.org/ www.guruviking.com Music ‘Deva Dasi' by Steve James
In this episode of The LightInside, host Jeffrey Besecker delves into the concept of conditional self-worth and its impact on our relationships. He examines the subconscious and unconscious patterns that contribute to the "nice guy syndrome," exploring how early attachment wounds and covert social contracts shape our behaviors. The discussion highlights the chronic issues of over-acquiescence or ‘people-pleasing', avoidance, and emotional dependency—prompting listeners to reflect on whether these patterns serve them or lead to self-sabotage. Join us as we unravel the forces behind conditional self-worth and discover pathways to healthier social connections.Timestamps:[00:02:22] Nice guy syndrome explained.[00:05:13] Conditional love and connection.[00:07:23] Conditional love and protection.[00:10:44] Isolation and anxiety spiral.[00:13:16] Healthy acceptance of fear.[00:16:34] Childhood emotional needs and conflicts.[00:20:23] Fear and hypervigilance in relationships.[00:22:27] Vulnerability and emotional sharing.[00:27:17] Courage to be disliked.[00:29:25] Disagreeing while staying authentic.[00:32:01] Vulnerability and authentic relationships.[00:36:36] Attachment styles and nice guy syndrome.[00:39:35] Arousal misattribution and identity.[00:42:54] Healthy rejection and emotional intelligence.[00:44:31] Rejection and personal narrative.[00:48:20] Ego development and self-perception.[00:52:20] Emotional wounds and relationships.[00:56:17] Staying in emotional tension.[00:56:58] Overcoming shame through connection.[01:00:06] Reframing emotions for self-acceptance.[01:03:56] Anger as a call to action.[01:07:01] Healthy boundaries and nice guy syndrome.[01:10:18] People-pleasing and emotional dependency.JOIN US ON INSTAGRAM: @thelightinsidepodcastSUBSCRIBE: pod.link/thelightinsideCredits:Featured Guest: Jay ScottExecutive Producer: Jeffrey BeseckerExecutive Program Director: Anna GetzMixing, Engineering, Production and Mastering: Aloft Media Studio
Gavin Ortlund comments on J.D. Vance's remarks about ordo amoris, the ordering of love. See my book The Art of Disagreeing: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Disagreeing-Conversations-disagreement-resolution/dp/1802541403/ Truth Unites exists to promote gospel assurance through theological depth. Gavin Ortlund (PhD, Fuller Theological Seminary) is President of Truth Unites and Theologian-in-Residence at Immanuel Nashville. SUPPORT: Tax Deductible Support: https://truthunites.org/donate/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/truthunites FOLLOW: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/truth.unites/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/gavinortlund Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TruthUnitesPage/ Website: https://truthunites.org/
Responding to questions from listeners about John the Baptist's ministry, what is biblical church polity, and how to properly respond to your church if you disagree with its polity. Visit wwutt.com for all our videos!
In this episode, we explore how disagreements can spiral out of control when both sides aren't even arguing about the same thing. Miscommunication often leads to unnecessary conflict, making it vital to clarify what's actually being debated. Learn practical strategies to align your understanding, improve communication, and resolve conflicts effectively. Whether it's in relationships, friendships, or the workplace, discover how staying on the same page can turn disagreements into productive discussions. CONQUER SHYNESS
Josh Szeps is a renowned broadcaster, host of Uncomfortable Conversations, and a former voice of Australia's public radio who brings discernment to our most difficult dialogues. This conversation explores why genuine dialogue matters in an age of tribal certainties. We discuss the derangement of our information landscape, the erosion of shared truth, and how to navigate today's most contentious issues with grace and humor. Josh is a rare voice who can untangle complex issues without amplifying division. Our exchange is both timely and necessary. Enjoy! Show notes + MORE Watch on YouTube Newsletter Sign-Up Today's Sponsors: Aura Frames: Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat
What turns a playful debate into an angry, tearful argument? Or a cheerful Thanksgiving feast into a frosty dessert? America is heading into the holiday season after a divisive election season. So we're featuring an episode from NPR's science podcast Short Wave about what happens in our brains during conflict: Why it tempts us to shut down, and how we can navigate difficult conversations—political or otherwise—without losing control.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy