The Gunkhole State Park Podcast

From one of the people who brought you the Gunkhole State Park Podcast, it's Destination: Passport! Keith Berd and Damon Product are reputable travel agents who love helping people go on the vacations of their very dreams. If you like the first episode, go to anchor.fm/destinationpassport or find it on your preferred podcast app and subscribe! P.S. The rangers fell into the gunkhole and died but hopefully they'll be able to do an episode from the afterlife soon!

The rangers talk about how Gunkhole State Park might actually be weird and bad. Then, Dippin' Dots vending machine technician Smits Bensen (Spencer Lott) stops by to service the park's Dippin' Dots machine and probably nothing else.

The rangers discuss the potluck, which was disastrous for The Beef Man but very positive for the punctuation cult. Then, local investigative reporter Rece Roberts (Bryan Duff) takes the rangers to task for their most recent bad deeds.

The rangers provide updates on their cult (Chris), campaign (Bonnie), and cool family life (Alex) before sitting down with cryptid hunter Coleman Riteaid (Amar Risbud), who is searching for the Gunkhole Gapsquatch... and maybe more!

The rangers discuss cults, tattoo-related health, and Ranger Alex's thing. Then, safety infector Sconce Bentley (Sarah Shockey) stops by to give the rangers some safety tips and also fall in love.

Back in the park at last, the rangers discuss Ranger Alex's avoidant tendencies, Ranger Bonnie's political campaign, and Ranger Chris's newfound passion for punctuation. Then, Hollywood actress Just Sheila (Alana Johnston) stops by to tell the rangers about the forest-based movie she's making with the little boy from The Sixth Sense.

The rangers are coming to you LIVE from The Rose Hole in beautiful Pasadena, California, where they will finally meet The Rock (Dwayne Johnson), the extremely rich and famous wrestler-turned-movie star who has built a fracking themed amusement park on Gunkhole State Park land!

After last week's fiasco at the La Brea Tar Pits, the rangers are still in LA, waiting for their chance to finally meet Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Their guest is Stoney (Jonah Cooper), an actual rock with a unique perspective.

See ya next week!

The rangers are in Death Valley, where they've been having fun despite drinking very little water. Their guest is desert enthusiast Bingo Williams (Nico Carter), who talks about his crypto business and shares some family secrets.

En route to Hollywood, the rangers stop in Las Vegas to sample everything it has to offer: entertainment, gambling, and getting robbed at gunpoint multiple times. Then, they welcome casino manager Gina Tortellini (Claire Favret), who's been dealing with a celebrity-related problem of her own.

The road trip continues to Nevada, where the rangers are staying in beautiful Hoover Damp State Park. They discuss Manti Te'o, the beauty of disgusting things in nature, and the giant muscular beaver that Ranger Bonnie has failed to seduce. Then, they welcome friendly drifter Tina (Yasmine Baharloo), who lists her top five tips for going off the grid, talks about how the band Queen inspired her, and dishes on her peculiar relationship history.

The rangers are on the road to Hollywood where they hope to confront Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and take Gunkhole State Park back from the fracking themed amusement park. While staying at a park in Utah, they meet Bobby Casey (Will Hines), a very chill mole person who loves a capella and ice cream sandwiches.

Ranger Chris provides an update on his attempt to Erin Brockovich the frackers, Ranger Bonnie reports her findings re: The Rock Connection, and Ranger Alex reads a powerful poem. Then, aggressive lawyer Lily Outrageous (Erin Keif) gives the rangers yet another problem to deal with.

The rangers lament the impending sale of some of the park's land to a fracking-themed amusement park and theorize on Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's possible involvement. Then, they talk to Brad (Jon Matteson), a large naked man who recently had an encounter with a witch.

The rangers take us behind the scenes of the reality show they're making to promote the park and discuss the addictions they've developed in the process. Then, college film student and reality show crew member Preston Oxman (Chris McGillivray) joins to share what drew him to reality television.

The rangers talk about how time and space have been warped since they ate human flesh. Then, they welcome Lorraine Jeffries (Carly Garber), a controversial Bachelor contestant who is just at the park to reconnect with nature and not for any other reason.

The rangers discuss enablers, different types of straws, and art. Then, park resident Fan C. Jackson (Waleed Mansour) stops by to chat about his cooking and read from the TV pilot he wrote.

The rangers do some catching up before welcoming local child Li'l Pete Stachio (Adal Rifai), who just has a lot going on.

The rangers prepare for opening night of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds: The Musical: The Birds are in the Right This Time despite Ranger Bonnie's swollen tonsils. Then, contest winner Edith Barrels (Jen Jackson) joins to talk about her long history of losing contests and her relationship with her twin brother, Governor Gus Barrels.

The rangers discuss their cover story in Bad Publicity magazine, Ranger Bonnie's funeral reviews, and Ranger Chris's unfortunate casting decision for Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds: The Musical: The Birds are in the Right This Time. Then, Australian fashion designer Sebastian Lockheed-Martin stops by to share his fashion principles and some information on how people who fake Australian accents are perverts.

The rangers talk about the hard work they've done on Birds: The Musical and their goal of winning a RockyTony award. Then, RockyTony committee member Caroline Kettlebell joins to share how she met her husband, discuss draconian musical-themed laws, and run down the five main things she looks for in a "theater in the park" production.

The rangers discuss the various things you could squeeze out of clusters of tiny holes before welcoming Jimmy Jackwell (Zack Mast), a former actor turned bear enthusiast. Jimmy counts down the top five problems facing bears, tells the story of his attempts to cure polar bears of their chapped noses in the Arctic, and delivers his stirring Two and a Half Men audition monologue.

Ranger Bonnie reveals what really happened when she went missing and learns about the park's new roller coaster. Then, shifty professor Dr. Chia Omale (Shanel Hughes) tries to avoid telling the rangers why she wants to dig thousands of holes on park property.

Ranger Alex and Ranger Chris discuss the disturbing possibility that Ranger Bonnie was kidnapped by the Moose Mafia. Then, German survival expert Wolfe Barbeques (Jon Mackey) stops by to give some tips on surviving in Gunkhole, but not before telling the rangers about the German version of Home Improvement, his various parking disputes, and the real story of Julius Caesar's death.

The rangers get inspiring news about Fred Jones, listen to a voicemail from Brian Urlacher, and argue about color-coded sex wristbands. Then, Women of the Woods leader Labiana Wilkerson (Ryan Asher) joins to discuss Tom Hanks, Barry Bonds, and other feminism-related topics.

The rangers get bad news about Liam Jordache, learn about Ranger Alex's latest video game, and find a disturbing clue about the Country Bear Jamboree. Then, bayou-born park visitor Fred Jones (Corey Martin) takes a seat in the burnt out school bus to chat about fishing, faith, and his intimate relationship with water.

The rangers get bad news about Madison Flip, discuss the bats' state funeral, and find a new place to relieve themselves. Then, extreme rock climber Liam Jordache (Jamison Webb) stops by to talk about his various sponsors, his climbing style, and his history with the Wahlberg family.

The rangers get bad news about Rick Plates, discuss Robert DeNiro's most intimidating role, and try to learn more about the insidious Country Bear Jamboree. Then, aspiring teen vampire Madison Flip (Maggie Winters) tells the rangers about her parents' divorce, the unique services offered at Hot Topic, and how she managed to make her skin so translucent.

The rangers get bad news about Ranger Reggie, discuss how Ranger Bonnie is training Ranger Alex for his ultimate battle with Brian Urlacher, and gain appreciation for the literary works of Adam Sandler. Then, bear baiter Rick Plates (John Patrick Coan) joins to talk about his bear baiting methods and his dispute with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Banished to a tent just outside the park boundaries, the rangers discuss Ranger Chris's new reading habit, Ranger Bonnie's adopted flamingo children, and Ranger Alex's plan to win back the love of his son. Then, newly-hired park ranger Ranger Reggie (Garrett Kelly) stops by to talk about his custom car and possibly help the rangers get back into the park without getting tommy-gunned by bats.

The rangers worry about potentially experiencing consquences for their actions. Once they're done with all that, they chat with traveling toplessness activist Megan Megan (Lily Sullivan) about how she's inspiring women everywhere.

The rangers talk about Ranger Chris's helicopter trip, Ranger Tamsin's revival from the dead, and Ranger Bonnie's 23andMe results. Then, local cult leader Geralg Stockholm (Luke Null) arrives to lodge a complaint about some recently boiled virgins and help the rangers figure out what song plays during the pottery scene in the film Ghost.

The rangers listen to Brian Urlacher's in-character voicemails and talk about Ranger Chris's haunted rash. They're then joined by Gwendolyn van der Park (Mylene van Zijl), a wealthy park ranger visiting Gunkhole from upstate New York as part of the Ranger Swap program. Before she can inherit her first park, she has to prove that she's capable of interacting with normal people— but will her penchant for murder get in the way?

The rangers discuss accents and television sales before an unexpected interruption from a wayward southern belle named Donna. After Donna leaves non-suspiciously, the rangers welcome their guest, Misty Mysterious (Nicholle Harris), host of the popular podcast Sexy Mysteries with Misty Mysterious, who reads the rangers' auras and reviews the 2006 Sandra Bullock/Keanu Reeves film The Lake House.

The rangers talk about various bear-related incidents in and around the park, most of which involve some sort of meat. They're then joined by Cinnamon (Rose Buchbinder), a "vegan meditator" who tries to help the rangers with their problems but mostly ends up making them all very horny.

Park rangers Alex, Bonnie, and Chris discuss sparrows, boofing, beef jerky, and how they got into the park rangering biz. Then they welcome their first guest, British gentleman and frequent park visitor Christopher Elkworth (Sean Wissing), who teaches them the British pronunciation of Kurt Cobain's name, among other things.