The NVCpractice.com Podcast

Long time practitioner Mukti tells her NVC story, as well as explains how Emotionally Focused Therapy has added another dimension to her couples counseling work. She offers courses at EveryDayLove.com.au that integrate  insights from both modes.

Maria Santelli, Executive Director of the Center on Conscience and War, and giver of the TedTalk "Witnessing the Power of Conscience," speaks of her work with conscientious objectors.

Mariska and I explore the linked values of being seen and mattering in a romantic relationship. How does"What do I want?" weigh against, "What can I accept?"

Michael and I discuss the temptation to seek ego in relationship.

Stephen Michael Tumolo is Executive Director of Heart to Heart: Comienzos East. His organization teaches sensation-awareness, mindfulness, and NVC in jails, prisons, and half-way houses. An article portraying the work he and his volunteer staff do can be found here.

Erin and I chew over the Max Rivers interview on NLP (Episode 35), and ponder what is involved in progressing in NVC.  

Josh Stein runs The School of Circling Wizardry. This is our round-about conversation about what circling is, and how he got involved. This is not a conversation about NVC--except in so far as all relational practices are one.  

Brian Tohana introduces me to Authentic Relating Games.

The distinction between a request and a demand, and the energy attendant on each, is nowhere more consequential than in our sex lives. Jefe and I have a preliminary conversation about how this is at stake in BDSM play.  

The Marriage Mediator, Max Rivers, explains how NLP training informs his needs-based approach to marriage mediation.

In this short episode I reflect on where I wanted NVCpractice.com to go, and where it seems to me to be going. You might call this episode self-involved, but I'd request to have it heard as an exercise in self-connection.

Adam Vogal is the President of the Oregon Peace Institute. What is to be done when one is out in public, and suddenly on the cusp of a violent situation? Adam conducts training on how to make sound choices.  

Chelsea's NVC challenge is that her partner doesn't share her ideas about how to show up when their young sons are in conflict. It's a fascinating conflict about conflict, I think, and we use role play to begin to find a way to conversation.

Erin and I converse about how to stay in relation to emotions that don't readily admit themselves to names. I share that this is something that comes up for me in doing eldercare.  

What is circling? And how might it be related to the practice of NVC? This is the first in a series of episodes in which I plan to explore that question. The conversation between Andy and Decker Cunov that I mention as having been so taken by can be found here.  

I request some help from listeners in re-doing my response to a Mom who's all in on the power-with model, and we role play to explore her disinclination to let others meet her needs.  

John Lash of The Georgia Conflict Center learned NVC in prison, and brings a deeply informed and felt perspective to its place alongside self inquiry and the principles and practices of restorative justice. To hear John in conversation with another interlocutor, find Alum Perry's interview with him here.  

Max Rivers suggests that a primary potential of an intimate relationship is revealing and meeting the specific needs one gave up on getting met in one's family of origin. Filmmaker Hanna Utkin (The NVC Family Camp Documentary) conducts the interview.    

Hanna Utkin (whose Family Camp Documentary is here) interviews Max Rivers (whose marriage mediation portal is here). Part One is Max's back story, as well as the framing of the notion of "Needs."  

Sasha helps me re-see and re-imagine a conversation in which I wasn't all that I could be.  

M. J. Harding has co-written a musical in which characters vested with institutional power come to use Nonviolent Communication for purposes of surveillance and state-sponsored violence. It's called Removal Men, and some clips are available here.

A retired Army Ranger has had second thoughts about the meaning of his career. Now he struggles to know how to respond, especially in casual situations, to being acknowledged for it.  

Ryan and I discuss some recent progress he's made employing the NVC framework.  

I give Mariska empathy concerning her love life, and invite or challenge her to go beyond her "natural" skills.  

Mariska and I delve into an incident, trivial in itself, that represents a pattern of disconnection between herself and her boyfriend.  

The episode begins with a response to feedback that suggests I make the podcast and its marketing a little more polished, and then I go on to say a bit about how I understand what one actually does to "practice" NVC. The role play with Marilyn represents the two-step form of learning empathy that I value, and that I'm trying to figure out how to feature more often.  

Marilyn teaches NVC, and has three moms in her class who are at a loss as to how to communicate with their adolescents. Marilyn and I role play a conflict as a way to generate resources that might help her in her future role plays with the distraught moms.  

Jodie has a lot of passion for putting into practice some definite ideas about child rearing. But this has led to some friction with her husband, and she finds herself stuck when wanting to offer him empathy. We try to role play our way to some resources. Apologies for some echo in the audio.

In response to a divorce, Kate's piqued father cut her out of his life. Thirty years later, when she finally had a chance to talk to him on his deathbed, he had throat cancer and an unreconciled heart. We seek some daughterly peace for her through role play.  

Kristin Collier talks about her book Housewife: Home-Remaking in a Transgender Marriage. I reviewed it here, and her website is here.  

Craig and I have a discussion prompted by a Facebook Post he made that I found myself out of sympathy with. I contacted him in order to listen, but was stimulated and talked a lot.  

In Episode 11, Katie and I role-played an upcoming conversation in which she hoped to come to a shared reality about some pain her friend's actions had occasioned. In this episode, she shares how that conversation worked out. Also, in passing, the NVC Dance Floors get a mention. More information about them can be found here.

In Episode 11, Katie and I role-played an upcoming conversation in which she hoped to come to a shared reality about some pain her friend's actions had occasioned. In this episode, she shares how that conversation worked out.  

We take a detour when some new information gets added to a work situation role play.  

Katie and I roleplay a difficult conversation she anticipates having with a friend.

The training wheel sentence--"When [observation] I feel X because I'm needing Y, would you be willing to [request]"--is a tool for NVC training, but in the real world it's often best used in parts. Here Alejandro and I discuss this delicate point.

Despite excellent strategies, relationship communication can still be hard. Here we linger on a minor, but painful, incident--trying to imagine a giraffe response.  

We talk about talking NVC, before getting down to cases which will be featured in future podcasts.

This episode begins with me getting some feedback on my own NVC practice, and then I work with a friend in anticipation of a high stakes conversation he'll be having the next day.

Mike and I talk about how a co-housing arrangement turned into a deep bond.

We discuss her experience with NVC, and her film on the Vashon Island Family Camp. View Film Vashon Island Family Camp Information on Family Camps in Wisconsin, Ohio, West Virginia, New York, Colorado and California Comment on this episode

Sam Brightbart and I discuss the first stage of his effort to share NVC. Comment

Conclusion of a conversation between a father and son in which we discuss dependence, support, energy, and optimism. Comment  

I work with a father and son to improve their connection around issues of dependence, support, grief, and optimism. Comment

In this episode I get some help musing about the Podcast's focus. Comment