Podcasts about Emotionally focused therapy

What happens in the deepest moments of Stage 2 EFT work? In this special roundtable episode of The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosts Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana sit down with three pioneers in EFT process research and training: Dr. Jim Furrow, Dr. Kathryn Rheem, and Dr. Marlene Best. Together, they unpack the heart of Stage 2 change events in EFT: withdrawer re-engagement, pursuer softening, therapeutic presence, fear, longing, attachment risk, and the healing power of vulnerable reach-and-response moments. This conversation is more than theory. It is a masterclass in how therapists help clients move from talking about emotion to speaking from emotion. The group explores how fear and longing work together, why vulnerability requires both courage and safety, and how the therapist's emotional presence becomes the bridge that helps clients risk connection. You'll hear powerful reflections on: Why fear must become experiential in Stage 2 The difference between Stage 1 and Stage 2 emotional work How longing creates movement through fear Why enactments are essential for deep limbic revision The therapist's role in co-regulating attachment risk How healing becomes more powerful than hurt in secure connection This episode is rich with clinical wisdom, emotional depth, and heartfelt reflections from some of the leading voices who helped shape modern EFT. If you're an EFT therapist wanting to deepen your Stage 2 work—or simply someone passionate about emotional connection and healing relationships—this is an episode you will want to revisit again and again. In This Episode The Origins of Stage 2 EFT Research The guests reflect on the early development of EFT process research and how their studies on pursuer softening and withdrawer re-engagement helped therapists better understand the moment-to-moment dynamics of attachment transformation. Fear vs. Speaking From Fear The conversation explores the difference between naming fear cognitively versus helping clients experientially contact fear in the present moment. Longing and Fear Work Together Dr. Marlene Best shares her now-famous insight that longing must move through fear for attachment change to occur. The group discusses how longing creates movement and momentum toward vulnerable reach. Therapeutic Presence as Co-Regulation Dr. Jim Furrow highlights that clients cannot stay emotionally present to fear unless therapists bring their own grounded emotional presence into the room. Stage 1 vs. Stage 2 Emotional Work The panel clarifies the crucial difference between: accessing primary emotion in Stage 1 restructuring attachment through view of self/view of other in Stage 2. Healing Is More Powerful Than Hurt Dr. Kathryn Rheem closes with a moving reflection on how humans are wired both to hurt and to heal—and how vulnerable connection transforms emotional suffering into secure attachment. Key Clinical Takeaways Fear is not the enemy in Stage 2—it is the doorway. Longing creates movement through attachment fear. Therapists must bring their presence before asking clients to bring theirs. Enactments help clients move from insight into embodied relational experience. Stage 2 is about restructuring view of self and view of other. Healing occurs when fear is shared relationally. Withdrawers often access sadness and loss before fear. Pursuer softening requires risk, surrender, and emotional reach. Emotional safety grows through repeated vulnerable experiences. Deep limbic revision requires deep experiential contact. Best Quotes from the Episode “We don't just talk about fear in Stage 2—we speak from fear.” “If you want someone to be present to their fear, you need to bring your presence.” “Longing has to move through the fear.” “The therapist's regulation becomes the emotional scaffolding for the couple.” “Stage 2 is not just emotional access—it's restructuring attachment.” “Fear reshapes our priorities and tells us not to reach when we most need connection.” “The healing becomes more powerful than the hurt.” “The goal isn't to eliminate fear. The goal is to reach while fear is still present.” “Therapists often drive past view of self and view of other instead of slowing down and exploring them.” “We heal when vulnerable experience becomes relationally shared.” “The deeper the longing, the deeper the fear.” “People pull away from love when they're terrified of losing it.” “Healing happens when someone risks reaching and another person responds.” “Fear says ‘don't reach.' Love says ‘try anyway.'” “We all want someone who can help us carry what feels too heavy alone.” “The strongest relationships aren't fear-free—they're responsive in the presence of fear.” “Behind anger and distance is often grief, fear, and longing.” “Secure connection grows when people can finally share what they were afraid to reveal.” “You don't heal by never hurting again. You heal by no longer hurting alone.” “The courage to be emotionally honest changes relationships.” EFT World Summit 2027 We wanted to let you know that the EFT World Summit 2027 is coming to Vancouver — May 9 to 11, 2027 — and we would love to see you there. The Summit is the flagship gathering of the global EFT community — the moment when practitioners from over 40 countries come together in one place. You'll be in the room with the researchers and clinicians that have shaped your practice, and you'll participate in conversations that are writing the next chapter of this work. The line up of plenary speakers includes Gail Palmer, Leanne Campbell, Jim Coan, Mark Solms, and Gordon Neufeld — alongside your 4 choices of 12 hands-on workshops across all three modalities, hosted by leaders in the EFT community. All sessions are eligible for CE credits, so you can fulfill your continuing education requirements while connecting with practitioners who speak your clinical language. Click the text below to link to the registration website.  Come join us in Vancouver! Visit eftsummit2027.com to register today, and take your place in the gathering this community has been waiting for.

In this powerful EFT training discussion, We Heart Therapy host (Anabelle Bugatti) Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT/EFT Supervisor/Therapist sits down with Emotionally Focused Therapy trainer Dr. Ting Liu and explores how therapists can effectively work with ambivalence in couples therapy and attachment-based healing. Ambivalence is one of the most common challenges therapists encounter in EFT sessions, especially when partners feel stuck between connection and protection, longing and fear, or closeness and withdrawal, staying or leaving. In this conversation, Dr. Ting Liu shares clinical insight into: • Working with emotional ambivalence in EFT • Helping couples navigate uncertainty and emotional disconnection • EFT interventions for pursuer-withdrawer dynamics • Clinical applications of Emotionally Focused Therapy with Ambivalence Whether you are an EFT therapist, LMFT, psychologist, counseling student, or simply interested in attachment science and relationship healing, this video offers valuable insights into the EFT process and how to work with complex relational dynamics.  

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Welcome back to The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy. In this episode, Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana discuss the concept of “Stage 2 Rehab” — the process of helping couples recover when deep emotional work becomes blocked, disorganized, or overwhelming. Rather than seeing difficult sessions as failures, James and Ryan explore how moments of fear, confusion, and protective relapse often become opportunities for deeper attachment repair when therapists know how to slow down, reorganize the process, and help clients regain safety. Why Stage 2 Work Can Collapse Clients may not yet feel safe enough for depth Fear often interrupts vulnerability The caregiving system can become disoriented or blocked Therapists sometimes move too fast for the nervous system Stage 2 Rehab Strategies Return to the last successful emotional step Normalize fear and hesitation Slow the process down Regulate therapist energy and pacing Help clients climb “back up the ladder.” Reorganize emotional safety before pushing for more vulnerability Highlighting Longing Beneath Pain Drawing from Gail Palmer's work, James and Ryan discuss how helping clients contact longing—not just pain—can soften blocks and reopen emotional engagement. Resetting the Caregiving System The hosts explore how caregivers can become overwhelmed, defensive, solution-focused, or emotionally disorganized during deep moments — and how therapists can help restore accessibility and responsiveness. Therapist Takeaways Don't panic when the process breaks down Fear is often the doorway, not the obstacle Stay exploratory rather than perfectionistic Repairing the process is often the work itself We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.    Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Hear about the important role Emotionally Focused Therapy plays in shaping the FCT model. *This episode goes slightly over the 5 minutes.

Welcome back to Love Fully, a podcast dedicated to helping you deepen emotional connection, strengthen secure bonds, and understand your inner world with tenderness and clarity. In today's episode, we explore coping with disappointment through the lens of Emotionally Focused Therapy and the very real, very human experience of disappointment in relationships.Whether the disappointment comes from a partner, a friend, or family member, this episode unpacks why unmet needs strike so deeply at the heart of our attachment system. We talk honestly about the moments when we've reached vulnerably, communicated clearly, and still felt unseen or unsupported — and what to do next.Challenges We ExploreThe emotional impact of unmet expectationsWhy we minimize our own pain (and how this keeps us stuck)The grief that comes with realizing someone cannot show up for usHow disappointment, when acknowledged, becomes a doorway to deeper self-loveHow repeated unresponsiveness shapes attachment woundsKey Takeaways for HealingHonor your hurt — disappointment is a valid emotional signalLet your pain be witnessed — connection softens emotional weightWatch patterns, not promises — behavior reveals someone's capacityExpand your support system — seek secure, responsive othersRedirect with compassion — for yourself and for those who cannot meet your needsThrough a compassionate, humanistic dialogue, Kim and Kyle invite you to slow down, feel the truth of your experience, and explore how to stay open to love — even when others fall short. This episode is a reminder that healing disappointment isn't about dismissing your needs… it's about honoring the parts of you that long to be held, seen, and supported.Follow Love Fully on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️Additional Resources for You:Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Most couples think they have a communication problem, but the truth is usually deeper: they have an emotional safety problem. Without safety, you're just "rolling paint on a crumbling wall."In this episode, Kameran Alareqi breaks down why emotional safety is the "psychological oxygen" every relationship needs to thrive. We explore how childhood attachment styles (anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant) shape your current marriage and why your nervous system might be physically rejecting your partner.Inside This Episode:The Root System: Why emotional safety is the foundation for neural regulation and executive functioning.Attachment Theory 101: How we transfer our "secure base" from our parents to our partners.The A.R.E. Acronym: A deep dive into Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement (from Emotionally Focused Therapy).Baseball in the House: Why you can't "steal home" (physical intimacy) without hitting first, second, and third base (safety, connection, and emotional intimacy).The Soft Startup: How to use "I feel, when, because, I need" to end the cycle of criticism and defensiveness.Breaking the Cycle: Stop the "Wait and Bait" and learn to separate the person from the pattern.Key Takeaways:Co-Regulation: Your partner and your children borrow your energetic state. If you aren't emotionally sober, you can't provide a safe harbor.Conflict vs. Connection: Emotional safety isn't the absence of conflict; it's the presence of connection during conflict.The Arrogance of Change: Why trying to change your partner is a barrier to your own growth and maturity.Resources & Links:[WORKSHOP] Changing Your Marriage By Yourself Are you the only one trying? Join Kameran for a special workshop on May 19th at 7:00 PM CT via Zoom.

I'm re-airing one of the most powerful conversations I've ever had on this podcast. This is my conversation with Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind, and it is one of the most in-depth explorations I've done of betrayal, attachment, and the very real, very complex reasons it can feel so impossible to leave or to stay and repair when trust has been broken at this level. "Divorce is common, and cheating is common. Because they are common, it doesn't mean they're not tremendously significant and have enormous ramifications for our mental and physical health," says Michelle. During our conversation, we discuss the importance of understanding what happened, explore betrayal through the lens of attachment systems, and unravel what happens to us when we experience this enormous injury. What you'll hear about in this episode: A new attachment-based model for understanding the impacts of cheating in relationships (7:52) Some of the binds in relationships that we can get stuck in including the shame bind and relational binds (12:55) Healing and repairing relationships: what it means to stay, and what it takes to repair the fractures betrayal has caused (23:25) What gets in the way of leaving when we want or know we need to leave (35:39) The difference between rebuilding emotional connection and rebuilding sexual connection (48:30) Learn more about Michelle Mays: Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She's also the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst. Michelle has created The Braving Hope™ Treatment Model to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is currently completing her PhD in Clinical Sexology and certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Resources & Links: Kate Anthony's Complete Parenting Plan Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate The Divorce Survival Guide Resource BundlePhoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment CollectiveKate on InstagramKate on FacebookKate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube! Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce  Connect with Michelle Mays: Michelle's website Michelle on Facebook Michelle on Instagram Michelle on YouTube Books: Michelle's book, The Betrayal BindFacing Codependence, Pia Mellody =================== DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. =================== Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-relationship-betrayal-with-michelle-mays

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.

This episode marks an important evolution.What began as The Roadmap to Secure Love Podcast is now Love Fully—not because secure attachment no longer matters, but because we've seen something deeper emerge in our work with clients, listeners, and ourselves.Secure attachment gives us language and clarity. Loving fully is about living that understanding in real life.In this episode of Love Fully, Kim and Kyle explore what it truly means to love from a grounded, secure place—both with ourselves and with the people we care about most. Through an Emotionally Focused Therapy lens, they unpack why loving fully requires more than insight; it calls for courage, self-honesty, and a willingness to challenge the attachment patterns that once protected us.Many of us grew up without a roadmap for healthy emotional connection. Maybe you learned to stay small to keep the peace, to over-function to earn closeness, or to shut down when vulnerability felt unsafe. These strategies once helped you survive—but they may now limit the kind of love you long for. This episode explores how to gently rewrite those relational “scripts” and build the inner security needed for healthier, more fulfilling bonds.In today's conversation, Kim and Kyle highlight:Balancing closeness and autonomySetting boundaries without losing connectionHonoring your needs without shameLoving someone as they are—not who you hope they'll bePracticing compassion for the younger parts of yourselfWhether you're healing personal wounds, navigating relationship challenges, or seeking deeper emotional clarity, this episode supports your journey toward healthy relationship boundaries and secure connection.Follow Love Fully on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️Additional Resources for You:Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

The dishwasher fight you've had a thousand times? Or is it about the laundry, where you're going to eat, making the bed, and cleaning the kitchen? The truth is, it's never really been about the dishwasher (or laundry, eating, making the bed, etc). Couples therapist Tony Overbay walks through Jack and Jill, a 25-year marriage stuck in a low-grade war over how to load the dishes, and reveals what those endless arguments are actually carrying: a need to be seen, an effort that's gone unregistered, and two adaptive children from two completely different childhood homes still running the show. If you've ever been mid-fight and thought, "How are we doing this again?"—this episode finally names the pattern. In this episode you'll: Recognize the Trojan horse argument—how a fight about tongs, rinse agents, and which rack secretly carries the vulnerable conversation you haven't been able to say out loud Spot the four signs you're stuck in one: repetition without resolution, the running tab of unacknowledged effort, kitchen sinking (John Gottman's term), and the hollow win that doesn't feel like a win See how your adaptive child (Terry Real) brought the rules of your childhood home into your marriage—and why your nervous system can't tell the difference between a predator and your spouse walking in with "that look" Leave the waiting room—where both partners want connection but each waits for the other to move first—through differentiation (David Schnarch), not conditional effort Try three guided exercises—open the horse, flip the ledger, and one unilateral move—designed for one person, no partner participation required Drawing on nearly 20 years of couples therapy, his training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, and his four pillars of a connected conversation, Tony reframes the most exhausting argument in your marriage as a map—not a verdict. You're not broken. You're human. And the argument you keep having is pointing somewhere useful. The Magnetic Marriage course is getting a complete overhaul that builds in everything covered here. Get on the waitlist at tonyoverbay.com/magnetic. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Setup 01:03 Dishwasher War Story 01:57 How Dishes Become Proxy 04:17 Inside the Dishwasher Debate 07:45 Jack Stops Helping 10:08 Childhood Dish Rules 13:38 Seen and Validated 15:16 Trojan Horse Concept 18:53 Four Trojan Horse Signs 23:26 Not a Relationship Crisis 25:05 Why Vulnerability Feels Dangerous 26:17 Adaptive Child Patterns 30:52 Nervous System Triggers 32:18 Amygdala Hijack Mode 33:44 Learning New Skills 34:55 The Waiting Room Trap 39:46 Conditional Effort Stalemate 42:05 Trojan Horse Reframe 44:27 Differentiation Explained 47:29 Meaning We Assign 51:37 Impermanence and Hope 53:54 Reaching Without Scorekeeping 56:58 Dishwasher Reimagined 01:00:36 Tuesday Night Practice 01:02:44 Closing Encouragement

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples. In this deeply honoring conversation, Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana return to the intersection of culture, oppression, and psychotherapy, focusing specifically on how these forces emerge in Stage 2 EFT. James introduces the idea of social trauma and social betrayal—those moments when central identity markers (race, gender, ability, class, religion, size, region, etc.) are attacked, marginalized, or devalued by the larger society. They discuss internalized racism (drawing from Dr. Ken Hardy's work), the cumulative messages clients absorb about their worth, and how these experiences shape negative models of self and deep attachment fears. Through vivid clinical examples—adoption, biracial identity, hearing impairment, body size, regional and racial identity—James and Ryan illustrate how Stage 2 work often pulls up stories and wounds that neither therapist nor client fully recognized at the start. They connect this to the CARE model (Context, Attachment, Relationship, Emotional capacity/strategies) and model a stance of curiosity, openness, and cultural humility. Listeners will come away with concrete questions, postures, and interventions to help clients discern where protective “armor” is needed in society, and where it may be blocking intimacy at home, so that partners can become safe places to “take the armor off.” If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast, you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. IWe aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com In this Stage 2 AIRM episode, Ryan and James dive deep into one of the most tender, high‑risk, and high‑reward parts of EFT: working with attachment injuries in Stage 2. Building on de‑escalation work from Stage 1, they explore how to move past “talking about the injury” into fully opening the scene of the wound so that real limbic revision can occur. Ryan shares how his own disorientation around when and how to work with injuries led him to train intensively with George and Karen, and how doing solid attachment‑injury work actually taught him how to do all of Stage 2. James opens up about his personal learning edge—how hard it can be, as a caregiver, to invite vivid pain into the room—and what helps him stay present instead of pulling back. Across the episode, they unpack: Why “you cannot change what you cannot open” How to set a platform for attachment‑injury work that stabilizes both partners The art of scene work: evoking 5–7 concrete sensory cues to move from summary into live experience How to hold the injured partner's pain open long enough for the offender to truly feel the impact Why clients are “not fragile, they're too stable”—and what that means for our stance as experiential therapists They also connect this process to AIRM, the EFT World Summit, and the broader map of Stage 2—reminding us that deep injury work is not a side path, but a powerful way into the heart of restructuring the bond. Key Teaching Points from This Episode 1. Why Attachment Injury Work Belongs in Stage 2 Most clinical conversations get stuck in “What do we do with injuries in Stage 1?” Stage 1 is about stabilization and de‑escalation, not “doing surgery” on the injury. Once there is enough stability and safety, Stage 2 is where we go to the heart of the injury to create lasting change. For Ryan, learning to do good Stage 2 attachment injury work was how he learned to truly do Stage 2 at all (vs. just using its concepts). 2. “You Cannot Change What You Cannot Open” Effective injury repair requires fully opening the synaptic memory system of the event. Therapists must help clients move from summary (“this thing that happened back then…”) to live, embodied experience in the room. If the pain stays in the background, it acts like a “boogeyman”—emerging unpredictably and hijacking the bond. The task is not to “make them hurt,” but to give the pain that already lives in them a chance to be explicitly on stage, in a safe, co‑regulated frame. 3. Scene Work: How to Open and Stay in the Injury Ryan describes his scene‑based approach: Set a clear platform (framing why you're going here, for both partners). Open a specific scene of the injury and stay there (often 20+ minutes, “circles and circles”). Focus primarily on one partner's deep experience at a time. Use 5–7 concrete physical/sensory cues to shift out of summary and into experience: What do you see? What do you smell? Temperature on your skin? Textures around you? What's happening in your body? In your eyes? “You can't revise what you can't open”: the deeper and clearer the scene is evoked, the more powerful the potential for revision. 4. The Therapist's Own Edges and Nervous System James shares that, from his caregiving/medical background, watching vivid pain come alive in session can be hard on his own nervous system. The temptation is to protect clients from feeling too much, but: We are not creating pain. We are bringing existing pain into shared awareness so it can be held and transformed. Therapists must train themselves like firefighters: Trust your training Trust your equipment (the EFT map, Tango, AIRM) Trust the people you've trained with A healthy fear of what could go wrong is important, but must be balanced by a clear vision of what is lost if we never go there. 5. “Right Dose at the Right Time” Drawing on Bruce Perry's work: therapy requires the right dosage at the right time. Do not do this kind of deep, evocative surgery in Stage 1—that would be an overdose on an unstable system. In Stage 1: We treat the injury (acknowledge, validate, build some safety), But we do not do full surgical repair yet. In Stage 2: The partner is more available to co‑regulate and respond. The bond is more ready to sustain deep limbic work and revision. 6. Clients Are Not Fragile—They're Too Stable Ryan's provocative teaching line: “Your clients are not fragile. They're too stable.” They are stable in their woundedness and rigid organization: Rigid protective strategies Rigid negative self/other models As experiential therapists, if we treat clients as too fragile to go into these places, we: Collude with the stability of the injury Miss the opportunity for deep restructuring We must hold both: Tenderness and strong alliance (like a good mom with a third grader) Relentlessness in going after the dark places 7. Two Core Goals of Attachment Injury Repair (AIRM) Ryan summarizes the two main goals of attachment injury repair: The injured partner sees their pain reflected back in the eyes of the injurer. Not just verbal apologies The limbic system needs to register: “You are with me in this pain now, not talking me out of it.” Often assessed by asking (carefully): “Do you feel like your partner really gets the depth of this?” A felt sense of confidence that, given the same circumstances, this would not happen again. This is not cognitive reassurance alone. It's a body‑based sense that something fundamental has shifted in the bond and in the injurer. When both are present (often over multiple sessions), the injury can be considered functionally repaired, and the couple can return to the previous stage of EFT work. 8. Platform Building: How Ryan Sets Up the Work Ryan starts with a platform conversation before opening the scene: To the offender: “I'm not doing this to make you feel bad. You deserve not to have this event be the story of you.” Frames the work as a way to retire the “Scarlet Letter” and integrate the event into a larger, more hopeful story. Uses metaphors like sleeping on an unpinned grenade—life is too precarious if the injury is never addressed. To the injured partner: Names that a part of them is still stuck in that place (delivery room, the moment they discovered the affair, etc.). With their permission, he proposes spending several sessions there to go find and bring back that part of them. This platform: Clarifies what they're doing and why. Re‑establishes consent and collaboration. Begins stabilizing the offender's shame and the injured partner's fear before going deeper. 9. The Five “People” in the Room Ryan offers a helpful image: during injury work, there are effectively five people involved: The therapist The adult injured partner The adult injuring partner The younger/earlier version of the injured partner in the scene The younger/earlier version of the injurer in the scene The work is about going after all of them in a redemptive way—bringing those divided versions back into connection and coherence. 10. From Scene Work to Tango Move 5 and Back to the Map Once the scene is open, Ryan sees the work as “old‑school Step 5”: Deep affect assembly in the injured partner Clear enactments to the offender Sculpting the offender into A.R.E. responsiveness (Accessible, Responsive, Engaged) Helping the injured partner take in that responsiveness He often uses multiple, small enactments rather than rushing to one big one: Micro‑processing present‑moment shifts “What do you see in their eyes right now?” “What happens in your body as they reach for you?” Crucially, after deep injury work: Don't get so disoriented that you abandon the EFT map. Ideally, you return to where you were (e.g., late withdrawer re‑engagement) and complete the rest of Stage 2: Full withdrawer re‑engagement Pursuer softening 11. Using Yourself and Accepting Disorientation Ryan normalizes that, in late Stage 1, Stage 2, and especially Stage 2 injury sessions: He often leaves feeling completely disoriented (in a good way). It takes a minute to re‑orient, use the bathroom, splash water on his face. This disorientation is a sign that: He has fully entered the memory with them. He is using himself deeply as an experiential therapist. He distinguishes this from burnout: Burnout was more present when he tried to work these places without scene‑based experiential depth. Deep scene work, while intense, is actually more effective and less demoralizing than spinning in summary and argument. 12. Honoring Clients and the Mission of EFT Therapists Both highlight: Clients as major teachers—it's worth explicitly thanking them at times. Sue's stance: even at the end of her career, she was “excited to go up the hill and see what my clients are going to teach me today.” They frame trainers (and this podcast) as trying to be like: Military commanders who can't go on every mission, but must equip the troops well: Best training Best equipment Clear mission The closing tone: Deep appreciation for therapists who are willing to go to dark, painful places with their clients. Reassurance that with the map, the tango, and the AIRM frame, you are not walking into those places alone. If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

FOREPLAY welcomes Emotionally Focused Therapy, founder Dr. Sue Johnson to talk with us about George's driving and the sexual cycle. We laughed together about their early relationship and more seriously about George asking for help after 9/11 with the couples he was seeing and Sue's generous response.  Sue gives us a keen example of a uber sexual pursuer and how his needs for attachment drive him even thought his behavior pushes his partner away. Listen up to our discussing with someone who has changed the world with her theory and life's work! For an EFT Therapist or to purchase her bestselling books LoveSense or Hold Me Tight - contact Sue's organization: ICEEFT.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode of Push the Leading Edge, Dr. James Hawkins (Doc Hawk) and Dr. Ryan Rana unpack what it actually looks and feels like when a couple reaches the end of Stage 2 in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). They move beyond theory and manuals into the lived, embodied reality: couples who can stay in the emotional “fire,” face their deepest shame and pain, and still reach for each other. Using vivid metaphors—from Navy SEAL training, battle buddies, and swim buddies, to military deployments and “embrace the suck”—they illustrate how Stage 2 work transforms not just the relationship, but each partner's internal sense of self and safety. Top 10 Takeaways from This Episode End of Stage 2 = Installed Positive Cycle You know you're at the end of Stage 2 when couples can see, use, and stay in a positive cycle on their own. The negative cycle isn't “gone,” but they can repair it reliably and return to connection. It's Not About Trying, It's About Training Stage 2 is like military training: repeated, high‑pressure enactments (often ~30+ deep enactments across Stage 2) build automatic, embodied responses, not just cognitive insight. When the “bricks clack” (the trigger of the negative cycle), their bodies now know what to do. Caregiving System Comes Online A key marker of Stage 2 completion is that each partner's caregiving system is active and available. Partners start pre‑emptively making space for the other's pain, even before a clear signal is sent, and can say, in effect, “I know this might be hard for you, and I'm here.” “I Must Be Willing to Know Me to Be Known by You” Borrowing from Leanne Campbell, James highlights that clients must be willing to know themselves—all the versions of self—for true intimacy. By end of Stage 2, clients are less afraid of their inner world; they befriend previously shame-filled parts and bring them into the relationship. Both Partners Can Go Deep and Offer A.R.E. True Stage 2 completion means both partners can: Go deep into vulnerability without getting stuck in blame or avoidance Offer A.R.E. (Accessibility, Responsiveness, Engagement) as caregivers It's not enough for just one partner to do deep work; dyadic reciprocity is crucial. From “Fix Me” to “Be With Me” A major shift is from “please fix me or fix this” to “be with me in this.” Therapists should mark not only outcomes but effort and presence: “Look how you stayed with your partner for 30 minutes in the basement of their pain without trying to fix it.” Confidence and Relational Resilience Grow Couples leave Stage 2 with a felt sense of, “We can do this.” They have experiential proof that under pressure they can rappel into the basement of pain, stay present, and emerge together—building relational resilience, not just symptom relief. Secure Bonds Are Simple but Not Easy Secure bonds aren't conceptually complicated: Show up Stay present Respond vulnerably and reliably The hard part is slowing down when the body wants to speed up and remaining vulnerably present in discomfort, not learning 50 relationship tricks. Battle Buddies and Swim Buddies: You're Not Alone in the Fire End of Stage 2 means each partner has a “battle buddy” / “swim buddy” / “wingman”—someone who will go into the fire with them, not just cheer from a distance. You cannot become a battle buddy without fire; Stage 2 requires going into pain, not just building safety around it. Therapists Must Mark and Install Key Moments A big part of the therapist's role is to slow down, mark, and install these turning points: Naming the risk Naming the caregiving response Naming the resilience and mutual effort This helps clients encode and remember how they did it, so they can find their way back outside of the session. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Send us Fan MailIn this special April Fools episode, the script gets flipped as Lisa Eliason takes over the mic and puts Shane in the hot seat. What starts as a lighthearted role reversal quickly turns into a meaningful and honest conversation about the heart of Shane's work—helping couples navigate betrayal, rebuild trust, and create deeper emotional connection. From the realities of working with sexual addiction and relationship trauma to what really happens in those first raw sessions after trust is broken, this episode pulls back the curtain on the work many couples never see.Lisa guides the conversation into real talk about relationships, emotional safety, and the patterns that keep couples stuck, while also exploring the role of faith, healing, and Shane's approach through Emotionally Focused Therapy. Whether you're a couple, an individual navigating trust and intimacy, or a therapist looking to grow, this episode offers practical insights, hope for repair, and a few unexpected laughs along the way.

Liliana Baylon, MBA, LMFT-S, RPT-S, & EMDRIA Approved ConsultantLiliana Baylon helps therapists and supervisors bring cultural humility, trauma awareness, and attachment-informed care into every session.As a bilingual, bicultural, and licensed marriage and family therapist, she specializes in supporting migrant, first-generation, and BIPOC communities through family and child therapy. With advanced training in EMDR, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Play Therapy, Liliana is an AAMFT Approved Supervisor, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, ICEEFT Supervisor (EFIT/EFCT/EFFT), and Registered Play Therapist Supervisor.She provides consultation, mentorship, and continuing education for therapists, supervisors, and organizations as they navigate the cultural, emotional, and systemic dimensions of healing. Her trainings are known for blending deep clinical insight with real-world cultural applications, offering actionable tools for professionals in agencies, schools, and private practice.www.lilianabaylon.com (Supervision, Consultation, Trainings)www.healingrelationshipscounseling.com (Therapy Services)Jenny Hughes, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in trauma and PTSD. She supports helpers and healers through the common experience of vicarious trauma as the founder of The BRAVE Trauma Therapist Collective.Jenny helps trauma therapists be human again as they learn how to manage vicarious trauma and enhance vicarious resilience together. As a clinician, she practices Brainspotting, EMDR, and Cognitive Processing Therapy.Jenny is the author of The PTSD Recovery Workbook and Triggers to Glimmers: A Vicarious Resilience Journal and Workbook.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa———If you'd like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.Thank you to our Sponsors:Jane App - use code GUY1MO at https://jane.app

Welcome back to We Heart Therapy — your go-to channel for deep, experiential learning in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).   In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT — ICEEFT Certified EFT/EFIT/EFFT Supervisor & Therapist and EFT Community Leader for Southern NV EFT — sits down with Ali Barbosa, ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer from the Mexico Center for EFT, to explore an essential question for every therapist:

Protest behaviors are some of the most misunderstood dynamics in close relationships. They can look like criticism, stonewalling, emotional outbursts, or shutdown, but beneath the surface, they're often a cry for connection. In this episode, we examine common protest behaviors through the lens of Emotionally Focused Therapy, exploring what they communicate, why they show up, and how recognizing the underlying fear and hurt can open the door to deeper understanding between partners.

As therapy language floods social media, more people are associating friends, partners, and co-workers with mental health disorders, spotting “red flags” everywhere, and labeling regular human flaws as psychological abuse. In this episode, host Gabe Howard is joined by psychologist and author Dr. Isabelle Morley to unpack how therapy speak, short-form content, and armchair psychology are reshaping modern human interaction — and not always for the better. For example, believing your ex is a narcissist might feel validating, but is it actually helping you heal, or quietly harming your ability to connect? Listeners will learn: why increased mental health awareness can both help and harm relationships how “therapy speak” can shut down communication instead of improving it what real red flags look like, and which behaviors require more context Together, they explore the difference between true abuse and imperfect behavior, why nuance gets lost online, how misused labels end conversations, and what happens when everyone becomes an “expert” after a 3-minute video. If you've ever wondered whether awareness has crossed into overdiagnosis, or felt unsure where healthy boundaries end and pathology begins, this conversation will challenge how you think about relationships, self-reflection, and mental health education itself. “Therapy terms don't need to leave the therapy room. They almost never need to be used in person in a conversation with someone. And people, I think, are using words to avoid more vulnerable connection . . .” ~Dr. Isabelle Morley, Author of They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship Our guest, Dr. Isabelle Morley, is a clinical psychologist and EFT-certified couples therapist (Emotionally Focused Therapy). She is a contributing author to Psychology Today in her blog Love Them or Leave Them, where she analyzes on-screen romantic relationships. She is also the co-host of Rom-Com Rescue, a podcast that teaches life and love lessons from romantic comedies. She is co-author of Navigating Intimacy: An Introductory Guide to Couples and Sex Therapy. Dr. Isabelle is frequently sought out by journalists for expert commentary on topics such as relationships, couples therapy, and reality television, and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Business Insider, Vox, and Very Well Mind, among others. In philanthropic work, Dr. Isabelle is a founding board member of The Unscripted Cast Advocacy Network (UCAN) Foundation, a nonprofit organization that supports reality TV cast members in accessing mental health and legal support and advocates for industry change. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send a textEver find yourself thinking, “Why are we here again?” when a familiar argument fires up? We dig into the hidden patterns that run your relationship on autopilot, and we show how to replace blame with growth by building emotional safety first. With Liz—an Emotionally Focused Therapy clinician, supervisor, and group practice owner—we trace the domino effect inside conflict: the trigger, the quick reaction, the story each partner tells, and the feeling that never gets airtime. Once you can see the cycle, you can change your move without abandoning your needs.We talk about big blind spots—like alcohol misuse or compulsive behaviors—that can implode trust, and the smaller, daily misses that quietly erode connection. Think “I statements” used as weapons, reassurance that dismisses, and punctuality or tidiness becoming proof of whether someone cares. Intention and impact often split. You might mean to soothe but end up silencing; you might defend to be understood and accidentally trigger more defense. Liz explains how EFT creates emotional safety so partners can own their part without shame, validate the positive intention beneath clumsy behavior, and practice softer starts, clearer asks, and better repairs.We also go behind the scenes on how therapists learn: why watching tape beats memory, how supervisors must create safety for honest growth, and why bringing your “worst” moments is the fastest path to skill. For couples, we challenge the wait-until-crisis mindset with a better frame—treat relationship learning as a developmental task. Start early, map your cycle, and build a foundation where differences are tolerable and care is unmistakable.If you're ready to swap autopilot for awareness and align your intentions with your impact, this conversation offers practical language, hopeful frameworks, and next steps you can try today. Subscribe, share with a friend who'd appreciate a nudge toward growth, and leave a review with the one pattern you plan to tackle this week.This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcastIf you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.comSupport the showwww.bethtrammell.com

Old fave – new intro! Therapists Sarah McConnell and Helene Igwebuike joined us last Jan for a brilliant chat about Attachment Theory. We dive into what it means to feel securely attached and what it's like when you don't. They break down how we form and manage attachments in all kinds of relationships – whether it's with a partner, family, or friends. And how, by understanding our own attachment style, we can improve these connections and make a huge difference to our overall well-being.You can also join Gwen and Kate as they try (with varying degrees of success) to connect with their inner child.Sarah and Helene specialise in Emotionally Focused Therapy. You can find out more about this, as well as find registered therapists, at the British Emotionally Focused Therapy Centre.Find out more about Sarah McConnell and Helene Igwebuike.To journal on the 12 Questions that Gwen asks Kate in the intro, visit Beth Kempton's Substack post.Find out more! For all RUMP info in one place: visit our linkt.ree Get a shout-out:Want a mention on the next RUMPette? Tell us your feedback or what you do to make yourself feel good: rightupmypodcast@gmail.com Support RUMP: If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe, share with your friends and leave a review. It takes less than 60 seconds and really makes a difference in helping people discover the podcast. Thank you! Join the RUMP Club! Support the team and access exclusive content from as little as £3 p/month at: Right Up My Podcast | Patreon Or, if you'd like to make a one-off donation, you can buy us a virtual coffee from Buy Me a Coffee! Be social with us:Instagram Facebook TikTok Thank you to our team:Music – Andrew GrimesArtwork – Erica Frances GeorgeSocial Media – Kate BallsRUMPette Voiceover – Dave Jones

Episode TitleThe Attachment Style Quiz Your Therapist Would Give You (Part 2 of the Secure-Relationship Series)Episode DescriptionMost of what we do in relationships is on autopilot—shaped by how we were cared for (or not) as kids. In this episode, Sharla and Robert unpack the three main attachment styles (Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant), share eye-opening childhood reflection questions, real-life couple stories, and checklists to help you identify yourself. You'll finally understand why you chase, why they pull away, and how to stop using labels as weapons—so you can actually build the safety and closeness you both crave.Key TakeawaysYour attachment style isn't a flaw—it's an adaptation from childhood.Never weaponize labels (“You're so avoidant!”). Use them for compassion only.Secure relationships require: safety first, equal power, and the relationship that come first.The path to more security = Acceptance of who you both are + owning your impact.You can't force change in your partner. You create it through consistent safety.Quick Attachment Style Checklists (from the episode)Secure I enjoy closeness but am also comfortable alone. Disagreements don't shake me. I trust easily.Avoidant I recharge best alone. Closeness can feel smothering. I downplay emotions.Anxious I worry my partner will leave. I need frequent reassurance. Small things feel like big threats.Resources for Deeper LearningMust-Read BooksAttached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller → The book that brought attachment theory into everyday relationships. Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin → Deep dive into how your partner's brain works and how to create real security together.The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller → Excellent for understanding how early wounds show up now and how to heal them.Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson → Seven conversations that can transform your relationship (Emotionally Focused Therapy classic).Next WeekWe start building that “invisible forcefield” around your relationship—specific tools to create safety and security even when your attachment styles clash.Call to Action!If this episode gave you an “aha!” moment, please leave us a 5-star rating and quick review—it really helps other couples find the show. Share this episode with your partner or a friend who's stuck in the chase-pullaway cycle. And subscribe so you don't miss Part 3!Thanks for listening — and remember: put each other first this week. The small things, done often, really do change everything. ❤️

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode of Finally the Big Show – Step 7: The Hidden Need, James Hawkins and Ryan Rana dive into one of the most paradoxical moves in EFT: helping clients access and ask for their deepest attachment needs.   They explore why secure attachment is all about needs, yet why going for need too early is a clinical trap that invites blame, reactivity, and the negative cycle to take over. Using rich metaphors—from ER triage to math progression to “ESPN tickers from hell”—they walk you through how to seed need from the very beginning, how to recognize when couples are truly ready (double greens), and how to move from hypothetical “someday” needs to live, in‑the‑room Step 7 enactments.   Episode Highlights - Why “need” is both central and dangerous     - Secure attachment = meeting needs through responsiveness and caregiving.     - But in Stage 1, asking “What do you need?” usually invites blame and negative model of other (“I need my partner to do their work”).   - The developmental order: don't jump to trigonometry     - Needs work in Step 7 is like trig/calculus; Stage 1 work is basic math.     - You can't skip the progression: tracking the cycle, working blocks, primary emotion, softening/acceptance, then deepest need. - Seeding need long before Step 7     - Use language like, “This is what your heart needed here…” throughout Stage 1.     - By the time you explicitly go for need, it should have been seeded dozens of times. - Double green lights and safety conditions     - Only consider Step 7 when both partners are “double green”: open, present, non‑reactive.     - This is the one place Ryan will not enact into a block; the caregiving response must be highly likely to land. - Pre‑7: loading reluctance to reach     - Use a “7A / pre‑seven” move: enact the fear of reaching (“In this place I feel so gross, I don't deserve comfort”).     - This both crystallizes the sufferer's dilemma and awakens the caregiver to what's really at stake. - How to actually load the need     - James' path:       - Strong use of self (embody and mirror pain).       - Slow, detailed evoking in the body (“Where do you feel this right now?”).       - Gentle curiosity: “If we could listen to that part of you, what would it cry out for right here, right now?”     - Ryan's path:       - Use guided hypotheticals (e.g., next Tuesday in the kitchen after a bad day).       - Ask, “Your partner really sees you in that place and comes to you—what would they say or do that would ease this pain?”       - Then re‑enter the present so it becomes an in‑the‑room enactment, not just a fantasy. - From hypothetical to live Step 7 enactment     - The key is reentry: “Can we let that need be here now, in your body, in this room? Could you turn and ask your partner for that right now?”     - If it stays hypothetical (“It would be nice if someday you could…”), it's not Step 7.Using attachment history as a compass     - Draw on earlier assessment work:       - Who felt safe?       - How did people respond when you were in pain?       - What would you say now to the younger you who was hurting?     - Those answers often preview the exact Step 7 need (e.g., “You're okay, buddy, just like you are”). - Normalizing “I don't know” and therapist awkwardness     - “I don't know what I need” is not a block; it's exactly where years of defense have left them.     - Therapists don't have to be smooth; they have to be slow, thoughtful, and present.     - A caregiver saying, “I don't know what to say, but I'm here,” can be a beautiful A.R.E. response. - Training and community notes     - Core Skills 3 & 4 in Huntington, WV (Jan 15–17, 2026).     - Externship in Virginia Beach, VA (Sept 15–18, 2026) with repeaters at 50% off.     We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

EFT Certification Updates with Gail Palmer | EFT Talk with Dr. Belle Curious about how to become certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy? In this episode of We Heart Therapy, Dr. Belle—PhD, LMFT, ICEEFT Certified Supervisor/Therapist and President of Southern NV EFT—welcomes Gail Palmer, ICEEFT Co-Founder and global leader in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) to discuss updates in the Certification process. Together, they unpack the latest updates on EFT certification, including what's new in EFIT (Individual), EFCT (Couples), and EFFT (Family Therapy). Whether you're just beginning your EFT journey or working toward certification, this candid and insightful conversation offers clarity and encouragement straight from the experts.  

Before discussing today's show, I'd like to provide some updates on what to expect from the podcast in 2026. First of all, there will be no more Behind the Sessions episodes. There could also be changes in the frequency of episodes at some point, but we'll see how that goes. Life shifts and different needs arise that are pulling me in other directions. Everyone has times when shifts are needed to make space for pressing needs, and that's what I'm experiencing in my life. I'm still excited about the show and the ten-year milestone that we'll reach in 2026. Remember, the archive of episodes (almost 500!) is always available through our website.  Today's episode brings important information about how parenthood changes everything, including your sex life. There are new complexities to intimacy and sex after having a child, and parents need to be prepared so they can protect their connection. Our expert guest answers questions about why passion fades, the sexual-emotional cycle that couples get stuck in, and the path back to each other in your relationship. Join us to learn more! Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and the author of Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy, she helps couples navigate sex, desire, and connection in the whirlwind of parenting, even when life and kids make it feel impossible.  Show Highlights: Understanding the role of a sex therapist, what sex therapy entails, and Rebecca's journey to be a sex therapist Identity shifts and body changes that come with having a baby can greatly affect your sex life. There is much shame and stigma around talking about sex and sexuality. The need to be flexible and curious with your partner Factors that impact a couple's ability to connect and be intimate: time, hormones, exhaustion, and resentment Focusing on the “micromoments” to show your connection to your partner Common themes in sex therapy for new parents Reinvesting in the partnership and understanding each other's intimacy needs The need for disconnection and solitude (Everyone needs alone time!) The difficult mental shift from “Mommy mode” to adult partner Dealing with mismatched levels of desire, which could become more pronounced after kids Dr. Rebecca's tips for finding your way back to your partner: Become comfortable talking about sex. Be flexible during the early-parent years. Be open to other intimacies besides intercourse. Consider scheduling sexual activity. Make sure your partner feels seen, appreciated, and desired. Find ways to protect your time for intimacy. The importance of pleasure in all forms of intimacy (“Nobody wants bad sex!”) Resources: Connect with Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy: Website, Instagram, and Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!  If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode of “Push the Leading Edge”, James Hawkins and Ryan Rana dive into one of the most anxiety‑provoking parts of EFT: when the caregiving system red-lights right in the middle of beautiful vulnerability. Drawing on attachment theory and years of EFT training experience, they explore “caregiving nightmares”—those predictable moments when a partner can't respond with comfort, even when their loved one is wide open and reaching. They unpack how pursuers and withdrawers each bring their attachment strategies into the caregiving role: withdrawers often “loan out their avoidance” as a form of love, and pursuers “up the ante” as their way of fighting for the bond. Rather than shaming these moves or bypassing them to “get to the heart,” James and Ryan show how to move toward the blocks themselves as emotional material, validating the attachment logic inside them and using structured, attuned interventions to help partners reclaim their caregiving systems. With rich clinical examples, regulation strategies for therapists, and practical language you can use tomorrow, this episode helps you trust the process, trust the caregiving system, and stay with the red lights long enough for new attachment experiences to emerge. Main Points from the Episode Framing: “Caregiving Nightmares” & Red Lights  - Focus on stage 2 / step 6 caregiving positions, and the “back half” of vulnerable enactments.    - The “red light” is the blocked caregiving system: the partner can't offer simple comfort even when they want to. Predictable Attachment Patterns in Caregiving  - Withdrawers as caregivers:    - “Loan out their avoidance” or self-reliance: advice, positivity, “be comfortable in your own skin.”      - This is a form of love and responsiveness, but often misattuned.    - Pursuers as caregivers:      - “Up the ante”: test, push, or kick the tires on vulnerability (“it's just words,” “you only do this in here”).      - Driven by hope and fear of being dropped again. Therapist Regulation & Preparation  - Pre‑regulate before couples sessions; expect blocks as part of the process, not a failure.  - If the therapist dysregulates, you now have three protection systems in the room. Working with Withdrawer Red Lights  - Steps:    1. Regulate yourself.        2. Offer an attuned, assertive interruption (contain the cycle).        3. Give 3–5 concrete validations of the withdrawer's strategy as attachment‑driven care.        4. Reframe the strategy's attachment function (“this is how you love/protect”).        5. Then gently move toward the part that wants to reach.      - Don't bypass the strategy; work with it as emotional material. Working with Pursuer Red Lights  - Normalize that pursuers often lash out or test the first vulnerabilities they've begged for.    - Validate their vision, hope, and fight for the relationship (3–5 validations).      - Help them notice their somatic/empathic response to the partner's pain (1% of reach or comfort).      - Avoid shaming language like “you're going to your head.” Use of Numbers & Repetition  - “Magic” 3–5 validations to regulate a nervous system.    - Sue Johnson's idea: clients often don't really hear you until about the 5th repetition. Tourniquets & Sender Protection  - After a strong send + strong red light, layer tourniquets on the sender so they:    - Feel caught and not blamed.        - Are reinforced to risk again.      - Never make the sender give up their experience just to soothe the blocked caregiver. Trusting the Caregiving System  - Leanne Campbell's idea: trusting the process = trusting the caregiving system.    - People do know how to care; the cycle paralyzes access.      - Our job is to create conditions for that caregiving instinct to re‑emerge experientially. Hope, Respect, and Attachment Change  - Both pursuer protest and withdrawer avoidance are hopeful, survival strategies.    - Change often comes through “begrudging respect”: seeing a partner fight their old pattern for the relationship. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this powerful conversation, Dr. James Hawkins sits down with Dr. Leanne Campbell to explore the heart of EFT and trauma and to honor the legacy of Dr. Sue Johnson. Leanne pulls back the curtain on writing the new EFT and Trauma text with Sue—sharing what it was like to co-create Sue's final formal publication, how their moment‑by‑moment clinical commentary came to life, and why clarity in the model matters now more than ever.  Together, James and Leanne dive into the caregiving system, window of tolerance, and how EFT therapists can help clients move through trauma without retraumatizing, using themselves as temporary attachment figures. You'll hear vivid clinical language and examples around: trusting the caregiving system, working with highly reactive couples, tracking your own nervous system as a therapist, and using transparency to give traumatized clients back their agency and hope.  This episode is a blend of theory, practical process, and deep emotion—a tribute to Sue's legacy and an inspiring guide for any therapist working at the leading edge of EFT and trauma.  Main Points / Episode Highlights Leanne's “Leading Edge” in EFT    - Getting radically clear about the model: moment‑by‑moment commentary on what therapists are doing and why.     - Making EFT more accessible and teachable through precision and process clarity. Trusting the Caregiving System    - “Trust the process” = “trust the caregiving system” when emotion and connection are alive in the room.     - Importance of responding in the same channel as the emotional bid (emotion with emotion, not facts or data).  Working on the EFT and Trauma Text with Sue Johnson    - The process was inspiring, clarifying, exhilarating, and at times sidelined by other EFiT projects.     - The book was well underway before Sue's death and now stands as her last formal publication—a “parting gift” of stories of hope and resilience. Using the Therapist as a Temporary Attachment Figure    - Central answer to “How do I help clients move through trauma without retraumatizing them?”     - Therapist “sings the song and dances the dance of attunement,” keeping clients at their leading edge without overshooting the window of tolerance. “It Begins With Us” – The Therapist's Nervous System    - Leanne tracks her own felt sense—especially with reactive couples—and uses it to guide interventions.     - She slows things down, names process elements (tone, eyes, posture) to:       - Validate the receiving partner.       - Grow awareness in the reactive partner whose nervous system is firing outside awareness. Window of Tolerance: Respect and Stretch    - Respecting the window of tolerance while stretching it—within sessions and in the client's broader socio‑cultural context.     - Normalizing that trauma work often happens in cycles (do a piece, step back, integrate). Validation as Psychoeducation    - Validation reframes trauma responses as survival strategies, not character flaws.     - Helps the traumatized partner feel understood and the other partner release blame and grow compassion. Transparency Gives Agency    - Being explicit about what the therapist is doing and why (“the best surgeon explains the procedure”).     - Therapist's transparency and emotional honesty give traumatized clients predictability and agency, reversing their history of non‑transparent harm. Parts / Versions and Rewriting Identity    - Leanne's language of “versions” of self helps distinguish old survival strategies from the current, wiser self.     - Core EFT aim: “You are not your trauma.” Clients move from “This is who I am” to “This is a fear and a history I carry.” Hope and Resilience as the Core Message    - If listeners remember one thing: hope and belief in the power of human connection and healing.     - The book is intentionally a story of hope and resilience for clinicians and clients, continuing Sue's attachment legacy. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other.   In this episode, James and Nicola dive deep into the concept of transparency in therapy and training. They explore how openness about intentions, the process, and emotional reactions creates safety, builds trust, and models vulnerability for both clients and therapists. The discussion includes practical examples, personal stories, and tools for effective therapeutic transparency, plus a rundown of upcoming training events. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Step into a heartfelt conversation where  Dr. James Hawkins and Nicola Hawkins explore the art of externalization in emotion-focused therapy. This episode delves into how therapists can gently guide clients into their most vulnerable spaces without overwhelming them—using creative, compassionate externalization techniques. Listeners will find practical strategies, authentic reflections, and moments of inspiration that underscore the importance of safety, attunement, and reintegration throughout the therapeutic journey. It's a compassionate guide for every EFT therapist looking to expand their “toolkit” for helping clients move courageously into their own healing. Top Points from the Episode: - Upcoming training opportunities in EFT and gratitude for the therapy community, especially during challenging times. - The concept of externalization as a gentle intervention to help clients face vulnerability when direct approaches would overwhelm. - Creative metaphors and analogies—for example, “letting clients breathe but not leave”—to describe how to stay connected and supportive in tough moments. - Techniques for externalization: using third-person references, prototypes, past versions of self, and broader narratives to create safety. - The crucial process of reintegrating externalized parts to support clients' healing and growth. - Reflection on the therapist's role in providing validation, understanding, and new perspectives. - Practical adaptations for different cultural and client contexts, ensuring inclusivity and relevance. - Emphasis on co-creating meaning—from reframing past experiences to fostering autonomy and choice within sessions. - Encouragement for therapists to remain flexible, observant, and compassionate when clients hit emotional blocks. - Inspiring reminders about the transformative power of working on the client's “leading edge”—where real change happens. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode, the hosts kick off a brand-new mini-series exploring one of the most challenging dynamics in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): red-light caregiving responses—those pivotal moments when vulnerability is met with shutdown, panic, or defensive reactivity. Drawing on real cases, supervision moments, and personal experience as EFT trainers, James and Ryan clarify the difference between “green-light” and “red-light” caregiving, unpack why these responses emerge, and offer practical strategies for therapists in the heat of high-stakes attachment moments. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Here's an engaging show description: "Yellow Lights in Love: Navigating Hesitation and Misattunement in Couples Therapy" In this revealing episode of the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Drs. James Hawkins and Ryan Rana dive deep into the subtle art of recognizing and transforming "yellow light" moments in couples therapy. Learn how seemingly supportive responses can actually reinforce disconnection in relationships, and discover techniques to help partners truly hear and validate each other's deepest vulnerabilities. Key Points: - Understanding "yellow lights" in EFT: Moments of partial openness or hesitation - The critical difference between reassuring and truly being present with a partner's emotions - How self-regulation and co-regulation work together in healing relationships - Practical strategies for therapists to guide couples from disconnection to genuine emotional attunement Whether you're a therapist, counselor, or simply interested in relationship dynamics, this episode offers profound insights into helping couples create deeper, more authentic connections. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Time out! We're used to time outs being something bad- a punishment given to a misbehaving child. But what if that's the wrong way to look at them? What if time outs can actually be good things? And what if we all need them- not just kids, but adults and dogs, too? Dog trainer Kelsey Weber and psychologist Shaun Davis are big believers in the power of a good time out to help everybody, regardless of age (or species!). The two of them joined the show today to talk about the right way to do a time out, and the importance of self-care and support not just for us, but also for our toddlers, teenagers, and four-legged friends. Kelsey Weber, ABCDT, CPDT-KA, LFDM-T Kelsey is a certified professional dog trainer and licensed family dog mediator. She owns Pawsitively Trained in Sherwood, OR where she focuses on supporting pets and their people by building stronger pet-person relationships through better understanding and communication. She and her husband live on their farm in Sherwood with her small horse herd, flock of poultry, goat, pig, and two dogs. Website: https://pawsitively-trained.com/ Email: kelsey@pawsitively-trained.com    Shaun Davis, PsyD Shaun Davis is a licensed psychologist working in Newberg, Oregon. She is a graduate of George Fox University. She works with children, families, and couples using Emotionally-Focused Therapy which focuses on the attachment bonds that keep relationships strong. She has been married for 43 years, has 3 adult daughters, 5 grandchildren, and a lovely Bernedoodle who works as a therapy dog in her private practice. Website: www.shaundavispsyd.com Email: drshaun@shaundavispsyd.com  Book Links Everyone Needs a Timeout: https://a.co/d/bHVF7iL  Getting Started with Timeouts Planner: https://a.co/d/aEixzyg  Settling In With Timeouts Planner: https://a.co/d/1fm8DnK    For show notes and more, please go to Your Family Dog

James Hawkins Dr. James Hawkins currently serves as a clinician at a non-profit counseling practice in Northwest Arkansas where he plays a pivotal role in facilitating mental health services and supervising clinical practices. He is the founder of Healing Conversations which is committed to fostering growth and understanding within the community around diversity issues. He is deeply involved in the practice of Emotional-Focused Therapy (EFT), and he co-hosts two podcasts, "The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy" and "The Leading Edge: Transforming Leadership Through Attachment Science," where he shares his knowledge and insights on EFT and leadership development. In addition to his hands-on work and educational initiatives, Dr. Hawkins contributes to the online training program successinvulnerability.com. Beyond his professional endeavors, Dr. Hawkins is a devoted family man, married to Nicola, and they are proud parents to five daughters. He is a guest of the Center for Healthy Relationships.

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. "Unlock the Caregiving Cheat Code: In this powerful episode of Push the Leading Edge, Drs. James Hawkins and Ryan Rana dive deep into the heart of Emotionally Focused Therapy's Stage Two, revealing the secret to transforming vulnerability into profound connection. Learn how to tap into your body's natural bonding instincts and create healing moments of care that can reshape relationships. Key Takeaways: - Discover how vulnerability is the gateway to genuine caregiving - Learn a step-by-step approach to elicit instinctual comfort responses - Understand how somatic cues can guide partners toward deeper emotional connection - Avoid common therapeutic pitfalls that derail emotional healing Whether you're a therapist, couple, or simply interested in human connection, this episode offers transformative insights into how we can truly show up for each other in moments of emotional rawness." To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

How to handle people better.   Isabelle Morley is a clinical psychologist and EFT-certified couples therapist (Emotionally Focused Therapy). She is a contributing author to Psychology Today, and has been featured in The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Business Insider, Vox, and Very Well Mind, among others. Her latest book is They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship.   In this episode we talk about: The difference between abuse and bad behavior How to know if you're really in an abusive relationship How to correctly use the term 'gaslighting' What boundaries are, how to set them, and how to know if yours have actually been violated How to spot a narcissist  The difference between having Narcissistic Personality Disorder and just having selfish qualities Red flags vs. garden-variety imperfections The definition and weaponization of terms like 'bipolar' and 'borderline' The overuse of the word 'triggered' Basic tips for navigating relationships beyond the therapy-speak And much more Join Dan's online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  Navigating Intimacy: An Introductory Guide to Couples and Sex Therapy   Tickets are now on sale for a special live taping of the 10% Happier Podcast with guest Pete Holmes! Join us on November 18th in NYC for this benefit show, with all proceeds supporting the New York Insight Meditation Center. Grab your tickets here! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thanks to our sponsors:  AT&T: Staying connected matters. That's why AT&T has connectivity you can depend on, or they will proactively make it right. Visit att.com/guarantee for details. Airbnb: Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.

Welcome back to We Heart Therapy: The EFT Talk Series!

Every couple faces relationship struggles—from missed appointments to moments of miscommunication. But the way we interpret those struggles often determines whether they turn into distance or deeper connection. In this episode of the Roadmap to Secure Love, Kim and Kyle explore how attachment styles shape our reactions when things go wrong and why secure couples repair quickly while insecure patterns can spiral into conflict.At Healing Moments Counseling, we know that life can be messy and that does not mean your relationship is broken—these messy moments are opportunities to build trust, intimacy, and resilience. With empathy, self-soothing, and honest communication, even the most frustrating moments can become stepping stones toward secure love.Key Takeaways:Learn to trust your partner's intentionsSelf-soothe when frustration arisesTurn relationship mistakes into repairCommunicate impact without blameBuild teamwork through conflictSecure couples don't avoid conflict—they transform it into an opportunity for growth and connection. This episode will show you how to move from blame to bonding, and how to use everyday challenges as a pathway to intimacy.Follow The Roadmap to Secure Love on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Until next time, stay connected and love fully. ❤️ Additional Resources for You: Take the free Attachment Style Quiz to discover your attachment style today!Sign up for the Secure Attachment Path to foster deep, secure connections within your relationships.

Dabaco Sunset is a queer-affirming psychotherapist and embodiment facilitator in Sydney, specializing in Gestalt Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Embodied Counselling to help LGBTQ+ individuals and clients with alternative relating styles like ethical non-monogamy.Dabaco practices In the inner-west in Sydney at Sunset Psychotherapy.In this episode Dabaco opens up about growing up bisexual and pansexual, his time in Berlin's queer scene, and the journey from infidelity and secrecy to radical self-acceptance.Dabaco Sunset LinksWebsite | Instagram | Naked ManEvolving Love Links:Website | Instagram | Substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Here's a podcast episode description and main points: Episode Description: Dive deep into the heart of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) as Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana explore Step Six: Activating the Caregiving System. Learn how therapists can create transformative moments of connection by inviting partners to respond with genuine comfort and vulnerability. Main Points: 1. The Importance of Caregiving Responses - EFT focuses on responsiveness between partners - Caregiving is about creating genuine comfort, not problem-solving - Therapists must invite partners into emotional vulnerability carefully 2. Key Techniques for Inviting Caregiving Responses - Use somatic, present-moment language - Focus on immediate bodily reactions - Ask specific questions that trigger instinctual care - Maintain the same depth and pacing used in emotional exploration 3. Green Light Moments - Recognize when a partner is ready to provide comfort - Look for non-verbal and emotional engagement - Create space for natural, instinctive caregiving responses 4. Therapeutic Approach - Avoid meta-commentary or intellectual responses - Stay attuned to partners' emotional states - Help partners access their innate capacity for emotional support To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Long-term partners often find themselves having the same fight over and over again. This repetitive, unproductive conflict is known as a negative cycle–and it can ultimately be very damaging to the relationship. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to identify negative cycles in your own relationship, and how to break the pattern. My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. Julie's latest book is titled Secure Love: Create a Relationship that Lasts a Lifetime. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do you know when an argument you’re having with a partner is reflective of a larger negative cycle? What are some ways to use vulnerability to break out of a negative cycle? What does co-regulation look like for couples trying to resolve an argument? What are the most common traps that lead to negative cycles in the first place? How can couples repair their relationship if a negative cycle sneaks in? You can visit Julie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Listeners will learn about the critical differences between Stage One and Stage Two enactments, understanding that Stage Two is about restructuring relationships and creating a secure emotional bond. The episode outlines key targets for therapists, including uncovering negative self-views, exploring deep-seated primary emotions, and creating opportunities for emotionally risky revelations. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. The episode focuses on working with the negative view of self in Stage Two of EFT therapy, exploring the deep, vulnerable process of helping clients confront and share their most painful self-perceptions. Main Points: 1. Negative View of Self Characteristics: - Goes beyond just emotions - Represents core identity messages - Often rooted in past traumas and attachment injuries - Involves believing fundamental negative things about oneself 2. Stage Two Therapeutic Approach: - Linger and excavate the deepest negative self-messages - Use enactments to reveal core identity beliefs - Help clients share their most vulnerable self-perceptions - Create opportunities for partner acceptance 3. Key Therapeutic Strategies: - Slow, careful exploration of negative self-view - Validate and reflect deeply - Allow partners to provide compassionate, attuned responses - Avoid rushing or trying to immediately "fix" negative beliefs 4. Goals: - Help clients reveal their most painful self-perceptions - Create space for partner acceptance - Gradually restructure negative self-beliefs - Support healing from past relational wounds The episode emphasizes that working with a negative view of self is a profound, delicate process requiring patience, depth, and compassionate therapeutic skill. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode of "Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy", Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana dive deep into Stage Two therapy, exploring the critical question: "How deep is deep enough?" They discuss the nuanced process of helping couples explore painful emotional experiences and turn over metaphorical "stones" of past trauma and attachment injuries. Top Points: Stage Two Depth Requires Repetition Re-engagement for withdrawers typically takes 3-9 sessions Therapists must repeatedly explore painful experiences Build momentum from session to session Key Stage Two Strategies Enter difficult conversations from a positive foundation Use scene-setting techniques to evoke deeper emotions Convert individual pain into co-regulation opportunities Exploring "Stones" (Painful Experiences) Look for deepest fears Uncover negative self-views Explore barriers to seeking comfort Address attachment injuries, trauma, marginalization experiences Critical Therapeutic Approach Walk with clients through their emotional "basement" Help clients build confidence in facing difficult memories Ensure partners can provide comfort in vulnerable moments Create "experiential bridges" for future emotional support   To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

EFT Talk: Your Guide to Emotionally Focused Therapy

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Summary: This episode of "Push the Leading Edge" focuses on Stage 2, Step 5 of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), specifically exploring the concept of "Deadly Attachment Messages" (DAMs) and their role in deepening therapeutic work. Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana discuss how therapists can help clients access and process their most painful, internalized beliefs about themselves—beliefs that often drive protective behaviors in relationships. The episode emphasizes the importance of staying with clients in these vulnerable places, facilitating experiential change, and preparing for partner acceptance and new ways of reaching for needs. The hosts also share practical tips, personal experiences, and resources for therapists seeking to improve their EFT practice. Top 10 Points: 1. **EFT Intensives Resource**: The hosts highlight EFT intensives available in Northwest Arkansas, recommending them as valuable resources for therapists and couples. intensives@thejoshuacenter.com.  2. **Upcoming SV Focus Lab**: Announcement and encouragement to attend the SV Focus Lab in September 2025, focusing on therapeutic pivots. 3. **Stage 2 Overview**: Stage 2 in EFT is about restructuring the bond by helping the more withdrawn partner re-engage vulnerably, followed by work with the pursuing partner to soften their approach. 4. **Step 5 Focus**: Step 5 is the most intra-psychic part of EFT, where therapists help clients access the deep, painful beliefs about themselves that have developed from negative cycles. 5. **Deadly Attachment Messages (DAMs)**: DAMs are the core negative beliefs clients hold about themselves (e.g., "I'm unlovable," "I'm stupid"), often rooted in both relationship dynamics and personal history. 6. **Stage 1 vs. Stage 2 DAMs**: In Stage 1, DAMs are often externalized (what the partner thinks of them), while in Stage 2, the focus shifts to when clients start to believe these messages about themselves. 7. **Experiential Depth**: Effective Step 5 work requires therapists to stay with clients in their pain, facilitating deep limbic (emotional) experiences rather than just cognitive insight. 8. **Therapist's Role**: Therapists must be willing to "walk into the darkness" with clients, maintaining a non-anxious, present stance to help clients feel safe enough to explore their deepest fears. 9. **Partner Acceptance and Reaching for Needs**: After accessing DAMs, the process moves toward helping the partner accept these vulnerable parts and supporting the client in reaching for comfort and connection. 10. **Patience and Repetition**: Deepening and accessing DAMs is a repetitive, patient process—therapists may need to revisit and assemble the experience multiple times before clients can fully articulate and share their pain. Let me know if you'd like a more detailed breakdown of any specific section! To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode, we both share how we help our clients transition into the qualitatively different experience of stage two. James shares his informed consent speech, and Ryan shares his building of the safety platform.  To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Join Dr. James Hawkins, Dr. Ryan Rana, and special guest George Faller as they dive deep into the art of therapeutic pivoting. Discover how skilled therapists navigate moments of client openness, transform interventions, and create powerful therapeutic breakthroughs beyond traditional block management. Show Notes: Explore the nuanced concept of clinical pivoting in Emotionally Focused Therapy Learn how to recognize and leverage moments of client openness Understand the importance of intentional therapeutic decision-making Insights from experienced EFT trainers on reading client emotional states Practical strategies for deepening therapeutic connections Key Takeaways: Pivoting isn't just about managing blocks; it's about creating opportunities Attunement drives therapeutic intervention choices Therapists can become more intentional by understanding their moment-to-moment decision-making Special Announcement: Join the presenters at the SV Focus Lab, September 11-13, 2025, in Fayetteville, Arkansas (hybrid event) to dive deeper into these concepts! Recommended for: EFT therapists, counselors, and relationship specialists looking to enhance their clinical skills and therapeutic flexibility. Link for $50 discount to Focus Lab https://www.svfocuslab.com/leadingedge To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Join Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana as they dive deep into the nuanced world of Stage 2 in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In this illuminating episode, they unpack the critical transition from Stage 1 to Stage 2, providing therapists with a comprehensive guide to understanding when and how to help couples progress in their therapeutic journey. Using their innovative SAFE acronym, they provide practical insights into assessing client readiness, deepening vulnerability, and creating transformative therapeutic experiences. Episode Outline: Introduction SV Focus Lab invitation Podcast mission and purpose Importance of continuous learning in EFT Stage 2 Overview Common misconceptions about Stage 2 Challenges therapists face in transitioning The need for nuanced understanding SAFE Acronym Breakdown S - See the Cycle Cognitive and experiential awareness Understanding interpersonal impact A - Access Vulnerability Depth of emotional exploration Balancing client capacity F - Flexible Responses Adapting to partner's protective moves Demonstrating relational safety E - Experiential Corrections Importance of repeated corrective experiences Assessing readiness for Stage 2 Practical Applications Assessment techniques Therapeutic strategies Warning signs and opportunities Conclusion Invitation for further learning Call to action for therapists Key Takeaways: Understanding Stage 2 is about nuanced, patient therapeutic work Clients must demonstrate readiness through multiple experiences Therapists must balance pushing boundaries while respecting client capacity To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this profound exploration of grief, Dr. Tal Padeh (ICEEFT Trainer, Israel EFT Center) reveals the transformative power of emotional connection. Through the lens of Emotionally Focused Therapy, we discover how grief can be a pathway to deeper understanding, love, and healing. Join us as we honor the complexity of loss and the human capacity to process pain with compassion and resilience. Another special treat, Nicola joined and added another layer of experience to this interview.  Grief is a natural human experience that requires a safe, compassionate space to process. Encountering loss involves recognizing what cannot be replaced and honoring the depth of emotional pain Couples can either be pushed apart or drawn closer through shared grief experiences. Grief is not something to "get over," but a journey of continued connection and love with one's own experience, accompanied by the support of others.  Cultural and personal defenses can block grief processing, but therapeutic support can help navigate these barriers to convert them into beautiful opportunities for sacred experience.  To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Chad Imhoff as they dive deep into the heart of what makes a great therapist - your humanity. Discover how embracing your emotional experiences can transform your professional practice, reduce burnout, and create more meaningful connections with clients. Therapists are humans first - your emotional responses are a tool, not a hindrance Learn the TEMPO and RAVE techniques for emotional regulation Understand how recognizing your own triggers can improve client care Explore the balance between professional skills and personal authenticity Practical strategies for integrating your humanity into therapeutic practice To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!