The Tending Lambs Podcast

This week Katie and Abby discuss strategies for repairing with your child after a blow up.

In this episode, Katie, Abby and Amanda kick off our repairing mini-series with a discussion on how to repair with your spouse, how to discuss disagreements between you and your spouse with your kids, and share some resources that they have found helpful in strengthening their own marriages. SHOW NOTESThe Gottman InstituteThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (John Gottman)Small Things Often (podcast)The Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman)Love Nudge (app)To Love, Honor and Vacuum (blog by Sheila Gregoire)

In this episode Katie, Sam and Amanda continue their discussion on practical ways to hold boundaries with your child.

In this episode Katie, Sam and Amanda discuss practical ways to hold boundaries with your child.

Katie, Abby and Amanda discuss the last couple months of gentle parenting their little ones and what you can expect from the new season of The Tending Lambs Podcast!

Join us this week as Katie, Abby and Sam discuss Abby's recent trip to visit Katie and how they navigated having two toddlers with a tense dynamic for three days in a gentle way. We dissect our interactions with our kids, things we feel like we could have done better, and how gentle parenting concepts tend to affect all of the different relationships in our lives.

Today's episode is second half of our interview with Venchenza. In this episode, Venchenza shares some pieces of her life as a teen and young adult, exampling the type of coping mechanisms you build when so much of your life so far has been fraught with abuse, as well as how she has used therapy and relationship to cope in healthier ways. We also venture into matters of faith, and how Venchenza came to know Jesus. Thank you to Venchenza, again, for being so willing to share her story, and for always pointing us back to Christ!

In this episode, Sam and Katie interview their friend Venchenza about growing up in an abusive household, and how it affected her internal world, social life, and entire worldview. This episode features sensitive material that might be too intense or painful for some listeners to hear. Thank you to Venchenza, for your time and willingness to talk on such sensitive things with us.

With gentle parenting come a few recurring misunderstandings and misconceptions. In this episode, Katie and Sam, along with new co-host Amanda, talk through some of the most common misconceptions, and try to set the record straight. For further listening and reading on some of the topics discussed:The differences between GP and permissive parentingIs Gentle Parenting Biblical by Paul JordanTimothy and the Gentleness of Paul by Paul JordanKingdom Parenting is Gentle Parenting by Paul Jordan Dealing with Proverbs pt 1Dealing with Proverbs pt 2Dealing with Proverbs pt 3 A Biblical framework for parental authority

This week Katie, Abby and Sam discuss the root of selfish or entitled behavior and provide some suggestions for encouraging gratefulness and stewardship.

Aaaaand we're back! Katie and Abby discuss all thing summer break and give a little sneak peak into what is planned for this season on the Tending Lambs podcast!

In this episode, Katie and Abby finish off the season by answering some awesome question from the group. They talk about their biggest GP challenges, unexpected benefits of GP, summer reading lists, dealing with caretakers that have a different approach to discipline, and a lot more!

Parents struggle with how to manage their kids' sometimes unrealistic and grandiose desires. Ever taken a 4 year old to the grocery store?! A lot of times we worry about cultivating gratitude and contentment in their hearts. In this episode Katie, Abby and Sam discuss how to tackle this issue with gentleness and developmental readiness at the forefront of our approach.

This week Katie and Abby are joined by Michelle Lane-Barmapov, an expert in behavioral therapy as well as Montessori. We discuss issues that can arise in special needs families among siblings, identity and positive self talk, a gold mine of resources as well as a host of other helpful discussion. Show Notes Montessori Autism (Michelle Lane-Barmapov)The Other ChildThe Reason I Jump (Naoki Higashida)Carol Gray Social Storiesmontessori4inclusion.orgLooksee checklistTemple Grandin websiteInvisible Diversity: A Story Of Undiagnosed Autism

This week Katie and Abby are joined by Kerry Baldwin, homeschooling/ work at home/ gentle parent extraordinaire to give some practical tips and encouragement about "Corona schooling", working from home, and providing support for your kids in navigating the Coronavirus pandemic. Show Notes How do I work from home and homeschool my kids? (Kerry Baldwin)skillsyouneed.comKhan AcademyThe emotion wheel (The Juno Institute)cleanmama.com How to Read a Book (Mortimer J. Alder)Assessment 3.0 (Mark Barnes)

This week Katie and Sam are joined by Pam Clark and Stacie Mahoe, gentle parenting veterans, for part 2 of their discussion on what gentle parenting teens looks like, and how to transition from punitive to gentle parenting during these complex years. Pam and Stacie answer some of our listener questions and share their wisdom!

This week Katie and Sam are joined by Pam Clark and Stacie Mahoe, gentle parenting veterans, to discuss what gentle parenting teens looks like, and how to transition from punitive to gentle parenting during these complex years. Pam and Stacie answer some of our listener questions and share their wisdom! Stay tuned for part 2 next week.

This week Katie and Abby discuss how to curb unrealistic expectations in parenting, and how gentle parenting techniques can actually make your parenting journey much easier. SHOW NOTES: Got Power Struggles? How to Get Kids to Listen to You (Parents With Confidence)

Hey there, Katie here.After listening through and editing this episode, I decided that I need to say just a little bit more. What I wanted to convey wasn't exactly clear, and by writing just a few words, I hope to clarify some things that I thought were lacking.One; I realize that when you're facing social anxiety, choosing to engage in community is THE hard part. Honestly, in my experience, the same could be said about depression. The thing about these issues is that they feel like never-ending cycles. The depression causes isolation, and the isolation causes the depression to spiral deeper, which causes the isolation to deepen. Of course, there are other contributing factors to why depression deepens; it's not only the isolation. But the reason I drive home that isolation is such a huge problem, is that both anxiety and depression are problems that cannot be faced alone. All of the things that contribute to these disorders cannot be fixed by the person who is being overcome and overwhelmed by them. You may need a doctor, you likely need a therapist, and you definitely need a church family, and of course, a confidant like a best friend and/or spouse. And two; many of us will at some point encounter seasons of isolation, whether we have a ton of friends around us, or only one. I don't want anyone to walk away from this episode feeling like I, or Sam, think it's just a matter of "make a few friends and this won't be a problem". The pain and fear of both anxiety and depression are real, they are debilitating, and we know that it isn't easy to get the help you need to get through it.But we also want you to know that it's okay to acknowledge weakness and that in fact, true relationship requires that you do. Recovery and healing also require it. None of this is easy, but it is crucial. It's crucial to fight against the apathy of depression, and the over-the-top urgency of anxiety, and the truth is we cannot fight this fight alone. If you need assistance seeking community and resources for dealing with depression and anxiety, please join our Facebook group for fellowship with likeminded parents, and direction toward resources like counseling that can be instrumental in helping you live and parent well, even with depression and anxiety. For further reading & listening Depression and Anxiety; an Honest Discussion Part 1 - Tending Lambs podcast, Sam and KatieChristian, You Depression is Real. So is God's Deliverance - JD GreearPractical Encouragement Through Depression and Anxiety - Sam MatherlyThe Place We Find Ourselves Podcast - Adam Young"The Place We Find Ourselves podcast features private practice therapist Adam Young (LCSW, MDiv) and interview guests as they discuss all things related to story, trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology. Listen in as Adam unpacks how trauma and abuse impact the heart and mind, as well as how to navigate the path toward healing, wholeness, and restoration. Interview episodes give you a sacred glimpse into the real-life stories of guests who have engaged their own experiences of trauma and abuse. Drawing from the work of neuroscientists such as Allan Schore, Dan Siegel, and Bessel van der Kolk, as well as Christian thought leaders Dan Allender and John Eldredge, this podcast will equip and inspire you to engage your own stories of harm in deep, transformative ways."

In this episode, Sam and Katie get real about their experience living and gentle parenting with depression and anxiety. Practical tips on handling depression and/or Anxiety, from Sam Matherly

Welcome back to Tending Lambs! In this short episode, Katie, Abby and Sam kick off the new season with some updates on where we will be going this season on the podcast.

This week Katie and Abby discuss what it means to extend the principles of gentle parenting to yourself. Show Notes Our Need for God's Word by Paul Jordan

This week Katie, Abby and Sam discuss all things respect: what it is, what it isn't, and how to handle situations when our kids are being disrespectful to us. Show Notes Triggers by Amber LiaWhy is my Child Behaving This Way? by Janet LansburyThe Real Reason for Your Child's Behavior by Janet LansburyWhen Your Child is Unkind by Janet Lansbury4-Year-Old Who Says, "I Won't Be Your Friend" by Aha Parenting

This week Katie, Abby and Sam talk candidly about some of their biggest struggles and triumphs with gentle parenting. Show Notes Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura MarkhamThe Gifts of Imperfect Parenting by Brene Brown, Ph.D.

This week Katie, Abby and Sam discuss some ways you can gently deal with criticism of your parenting as a gentle parent. Show Notes Brene Brown- expert on empathyRebel, Upholder, Questioner, Obliger: Which One are You? by Gretchen RubinBoundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John TownsendPeaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura MarkhamTriggers by Amber LiaTriggers Study Guide by Amber LiaWhen Friends and Family Criticize Your Parenting by Dr. Laura Markham

In this episode, Sam and Katie chat about connecting with your kids, and go over some practical tips on how to do that.Games for developing connection and emotional intelligence from AHA! Parenting Book: Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham 10 Habits to Stay Connected to Your Child from AHA! Parenting Connect with Your Kids Using the CALM Technique from Jennifer Kolari Resources on Play from the National Association for the Education of Young Children

This week Katie and Abby are joined by Joel Hawbaker, a blended family coach, to help parents navigate some of the specific parenting challenges unique to blended family life. SHOW NOTES Follow Joel on Facebook or through his website.The Smart Step Family by Ron DealOurFamilyWizard app

This week Katie and Abby tackle how to set the tone for the conversations we have with our kids about sin.

The Whole Brain Child by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne BrysonThree Ways to Help Your Child Succeed from AHA ParentingSet Kids Up For Success: How Autonomy Can Rock Their World from MotherlyIf Gentle Discipline Isn't Working, This May Be the Problem from Janet Lansbury

This week Katie and Abby discuss how to help children understand bodily autonomy, common violations of a child's bodily autonomy, and address misconceptions. This episode is best listened to without little ears in the room! Show Notes God Made All of Me by Justin HolcombQ&A with the authors of "God Made All of Me" (ERLC)How Much is a Little Girl Worth? By Rachael Denhollander (preorder)Statistics on child abuse (National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse)

"They'll Grow Into It" - An article about teaching manners, and other things, from Janet Lansbury "Smelling Roses: Taking Babies on Errands" - From Janet Lansbury "How to Study Proverbs" - from Dr. Don Owsley "Pinpointing Proverbs: An Interview with Dr. Don Owsley on the Rod Verses"

https://www.verywellfamily.com/when-people-judge-your-parenting-style-284540 https://bouncebackparenting.com/dealing-with-criticism-of-your-parenting-style/

This week Katie, Abby and Sam discuss why forcing kids to share does not accomplish the ends that parents may think it does. Show Notes It's Okay Not to Share (Positive Parenting Solutions)Teaching Kids to Share (Aha Parenting)The S Word (Janet Lansbury)Playdate Rules that Limit Learning (Janet Lansbury)

This week Katie, Abby and Sam discuss what the limitations on our authority as parents are as outlined from a Biblical worldview. Show Notes Authority: the right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience."he had absolute authority over his subordinates"a person or organization having political or administrative control."health authorities issued a worldwide alert" These are responsibilities revealed in creation that Scripture assumes: • To provide for and protect them (2 Cor. 12:14-15, 1 Tim. 5:8, Is. 49:15,) • To care for their overall well-being - Matt. 7:9-11 And for the Christian parent specifically, the duties outlined are: • To teach and instruct the word of God (Prov. 1:8-9, Deut. 6:6-9, 2 Tim 3:14-16) • To pass on our knowledge of God and His works; from scripture and from our own lives (Ps. 78:1-7) • To discipline them [nurture and admonition] in the gospel/Lord (Prov. 13:24, Heb. 12:7-11, Eph 6:4) • To set an example of faith and godly character (Titus 2:2-8) • To not hinder their walk with Jesus (Matt. 19:11)

This week we discuss how we can apply the wisdom found in the Rod verses from Proverbs to our lives today. Thanks to Dr. Don Owsley for joining us again for this third and final installment in our series on the Proverbs! Show Notes Proverbs is Not a Training Manual pt. 2 (Dr. Don Owsley)Westminster Confession of Faith Chapter 19 – Of the Law of GodWhat does “general equity” mean?Timothy and the Gentleness of Paul (Paul Jordan)The Carpenter and the Gardener (Alison Gopnik)The Whole Brain Child (Dr. Daniel Seigel)Proverbs is Not a Training Manual pt. 1 (Dr. Don Owsley)Proverbs is Not a Training Manual pt. 2 (Dr. Don Owsley)

How to Study Proverbs (Dr. Don Owsley) Our Planned Parenthood (Dr. Don Owsley)Proverbs for Parenting Misapplied (Dr. Don Owsley)Why Isn't Proverbs a How-To Book on Parenting? (Dr. Don Owsley)Train Up a Child: What does Proverbs 22:6 Actually Mean?(Dr. Don Owsley)Proverbs is Not a Child Training Manual part 1 (Dr. Don Owsley) Proverbs is Not a Child Training Manual part 2 (Dr. Don Owsley) Sketches of Jewish Social Life in the Days of Christ (Rabbi Alfred Edersheim)

This week Dr. Don Owsley of Relavate Counseling Ministry joins Katie, Sam and Abby to discuss the seven most common passages used to defend spanking. Join us as we learn more about the book of Proverbs and exegete each passage! Part 2 will be released next week. Show Notes How to Study Proverbs (Dr. Don Owsley)Our Planned Parenthood (Dr. Don Owsley)Proverbs for Parenting Misapplied (Dr. Don Owsley)Why Isn't Proverbs a How-To Book on Parenting? (Dr. Don Owsley)Train Up a Child: What does Proverbs 22:6 Actually Mean? (Dr. Don Owsley)Proverbs is Not a Child Training Manual part 1 (Dr. Don Owsley) Proverbs is Not a Child Training Manual part 2 (Dr. Don Owsley) Sketches of Jewish Social Life in the Days of Christ (Rabbi Alfred Edersheim)

https://www.facebook.com/flourishinghomesandfamilies/videos/2228269537250322/ https://www.positiveparentingconnection.net/time-out-vs-time-in-whats-the-difference/?fbclid=IwAR1s9vlpUwtKYWGoNwAWG-HhM9XHrJawFjNtlO0Zsj-o46xIROcAAXkulGg BOOK: Voices Are Not for Yellinghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B015QLGOC0/?ref=idea_lv_dp_vv_d

Show Notes Can You Discipline Your Child Without Using Punishments?10 Ways to Guide Children Without Punishment

Show Notes Thy Rod and Thy Staff, They Comfort Me (Samuel Martin)Sketches of Jewish Social Life (Alfred Edersheim)Proverbs for Parenting Misapplied (Dr. Don Owsley)

Show Notes Obedience is Not the Goal (L.R. Knost)I Don't Want Obedient Children (Happiness is Here)Do You Want to Raise an Obedient Child? (Aha Parenting)First Time Obedience: How's That Working For You? (Sally Clarkson)Should We Demand Immediate Obedience? (Connected Families)Colossians 3:20-21- Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Show Notes Respectful Parenting is NOT Passive Parenting Setting Limits is an Important Part of Life Janet Lansbury on Boundaries How to Set Effective Limits with Your Child Differences in Traditional, Permissive, and Positive Parenting The Authoritative Parenting Style Gentle Parenting FAQ Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23

SHOW NOTES The focal point of your discipline and correction must be your children seeing their utter inability to do the things which God requires unless they know the help and strength of God. Your correction must hold the standard of righteousness as high as God holds it... the alternative is to give them a law they can keep. The alternative is to give them a law they can keep. The alternative is a lesser standard that does not require grace and does not cast them on Christ, but rather on their own resources... dependence on their own resources moves them away from the cross. It moves them away from any self-assessment that would force them to conclude that they desperately need Jesus' forgiveness and power. -Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child's Heart The Gospel and Gentle Parenting (Abby Alam) Won't Kids Just Run Wild Without Punishment? (Dr. Laura Markham) On spanking: The American Academy of Pediatrics on spanking Thy Rod and Thy Staff, They Comfort Me (Samuel Martin) On rewards: The Gift of Intrinsic Motivation (Janet Lansbury) Rewards Don't Work: Here's What Does On time out: Time out for time outs: Why pediatricians now promote 'positive parenting' On natural/ logical consequences: Punishment Vs. Logical Consequences Truths About Consequences (Janet Lansbury) Using Consequences as a Discipline Tool (Sarah Ockwell- Smith) On the sustainability of gentle parenting: Respectful Care is Less Tiring and Stressful (Janet Lansbury)   Subscribe to Tending Lambs on Spotify, Stitcher, or Google Play!

SHOW NOTES Your Child is Your Neighbor (Jen Wilkin) https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/your-child-is-your-neighbor/ Thy Rod and Thy Staff, They Comfort Me (Samuel Martin)  http://www.biblechild.com/assets/thy-rod-and-thy-staff-they-comfort-me-mar-2013.pdf When Our Children Disagree… (Abby Alam) http://tendinglambs.com/2019/02/11/when-our-children-disagree/ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. -Genesis 1:27 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” — Matthew 18:10 “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.” — Luke 9:46-47 Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you. -Proverbs 3:29 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12