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Science journalist Sadie Dingfelder is back with "Is That Bullshit?" — this time investigating the yoga-class truism that trauma lives in your hips, and the broader claim behind Bessel van der Kolk's massively influential book The Body Keeps the Score. Also: Kash Patel, Tulsi Gabbard, and John Ratcliffe testified before Congress on election security, and the numbers on non-citizen voting are in. WIll it reach low double digits? Stay tuned! Produced by Corey Wara Video and Social Media by Geoff Craig Do you have questions or comments, or just want to say hello? Email us at thegist@mikepesca.com For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/ For ad-free content or to become a Pesca Plus subscriber, check out https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4_bh0wHgk2YfpKf4rg40_g Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ad-sales@libsyn.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/TheGist
Capítulo 7 | El Cuerpo Lleva la CuentaEn este episodio exploramos una idea clave del libro de Bessel van der Kolk: el trauma no solo vive en los recuerdos, también se queda en el cuerpo.Muchas personas que han vivido experiencias difíciles sienten ansiedad constante, tensión o una desconexión de su propio cuerpo. Esto ocurre porque el sistema nervioso puede quedarse atrapado en “modo supervivencia”.El autor explica que sanar no es solo hablar de lo que pasó, sino también volver a conectar con el cuerpo de forma segura, a través de la respiración, el movimiento y la conciencia corporal.Una reflexión profunda sobre cómo el cuerpo recuerda… pero también puede aprender a sentirse seguro otra vez.Te espero en Leyendo con Vale.
In this episode, Adam Keen explores the profound relationship between yoga and trauma healing, emphasizing the somatic, emotional, and energetic dimensions of the practice. Discover how yoga goes beyond relaxation to facilitate catharsis, integration, and genuine recovery from unresolved trauma. Key topics covered: · The role of trauma and karma in the body and mind · How yoga acts as a cathartic process for emotional release · The importance of ritual and framing in yoga practice for healing · The connection between spinal movement and emotional release · Managing the stimulating effects of asana to avoid overstimulation · The significance of touch, visualization, and nervous system regulation · How to build a stable framework for safe emotional processing during practice · The potential risks of using yoga to numb or suppress issues · Diaphragmatic breathing techniques to release trapped tension · The neck as a vulnerable area storing trauma and its release Resources & Links: · Peter Levine on the Keen on Yoga Podcast · Bessel van der Kolk on the Keen on Yoga Podcast · The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk · Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine · Peter Levine - Somatic Experiencing Connect with Adam Become a Patron: https://www.keenonyoga.com/patrons/ Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Keenonyoga Website: www.keenonyoga.com Follow Adam: @keen_on_yoga | @adam_keen_ashtanga Retreats with Adam: https://www.keenonyoga.com/ashtanga-yoga-retreats/ Support: Buy us a coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/infoRf LISTEN Apple podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keen-on-yoga-podcast/id1509303411 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5iM9lcw52JskHUZ2eFvVxN WATCH https://www.youtube.com/@keenonyoga
Episode SummaryThis episode explores what happens when the place meant to nurture your soul becomes the source of your deepest wounds. Keana unpacks the reality of spiritual trauma, why it's often hard to name, and how the body, mind, and spirit respond when harm is done in the name of God. Drawing from the work of leading trauma experts, this conversation helps listeners understand their experiences with clarity, compassion, and without shame.What We Cover in This EpisodeWhat spiritual trauma is and why it's often misunderstoodHow church hurt impacts the body, emotions, and nervous systemWhy naming the harm is the first step toward healingThe difference between God and harmful religious systemsHow spiritual trauma affects identity, trust, and connectionGentle reflection questions to help listeners explore their own experiencesInsights from Leading Psychologists & Trauma ResearchersThis episode integrates wisdom from respected voices in trauma science:Dr. Diane Langberg — Spiritual trauma as harm done in the name of GodDr. Judith Herman — Trauma as a violation of trust that overwhelms copingDr. Bessel van der Kolk — Trauma's imprint on the body and nervous systemDr. Stephen Porges — Polyvagal Theory and why spiritual triggers feel so intenseDr. Kristin Neff — Self‑compassion as a foundation for healingThese perspectives help listeners understand that their reactions are not spiritual failures they are human responses to harm.Key Signs of Spiritual TraumaAnxiety or panic in church settingsFear-based relationship with GodShame or guilt tied to religious teachingsHypervigilance around pastors or authority figuresEmotional numbness or shutdown during prayer or worshipConfusion about what is “God” versus what is “church conditioning”Reflection Questions from the EpisodeListeners are invited to gently explore:What parts of church once felt safe but no longer do?What beliefs created fear instead of freedom?When did your body first signal that something was wrong?What parts of your story have you minimized or dismissed?What would it feel like to tell the truth about your experience?A Compassionate ReframeKeana reminds listeners that:You are not weak for being hurt.You are not disloyal for naming what happened.You are not betraying God by acknowledging harm.God is not the trauma you experienced.Healing honors your dignity and your relationship with the divine.Resources MentionedThe Body Keeps the Score — Dr. Bessel van der KolkRedeeming Power — Dr. Diane LangbergTrauma and Recovery — Dr. Judith HermanPolyvagal Theory — Dr. Stephen PorgesSelf‑Compassion Research — Dr. Kristin NeffClosing EncouragementYou are not alone. Your story matters. Naming spiritual trauma is not the end of your faith it's the beginning of healing, clarity, and reconnecting with God in a way that is safe, grounded, and true.
Theologian Bo Karen Lee joins Ryan McAnnally-Linz to explore how the multiple layers of trauma—pandemic grief, racialized violence, intergenerational wounding, vicarious suffering—can be met by the resources of Ignatian spirituality and contemplative prayer. Writing and teaching at the intersection of Christian formation and social justice, Lee brings both scholarly precision and uncommon personal candor to one of the most urgent conversations in theology today. "Trauma tends to isolate and alienate us from our siblings, our human siblings. But ironically, this witnessing of one another's pain is the source of healing. So it has the very opposite effect of what is needed for it to be healed." In this conversation, Lee reflects on the spiritual journey from what one author calls "alarmed aloneness" toward becoming beloved—seen, held, and gazed upon with love. Together they discuss the overlapping layers of collective, personal, racialized, and intergenerational trauma shaping contemporary life; attachment theory and its parallels with spiritual formation; the Ignatian tradition of imaginative, contemplative prayer; the still face experiment and the theology of the loving gaze; and why the church has something singular to offer the trauma crisis of our time. Episode Highlights "We are quite sure we're alone in the world and no one really sees us, no one truly cares and no one can be trusted. You're alone, overwhelmed, and helpless." "Trauma tends to isolate and alienate us from our siblings, our human siblings. But ironically, this witnessing of one another's pain is the source of healing. So it has the very opposite effect of what is needed for it to be healed." "I need to be held, but it's this illusory figure that holds me, because I have shut myself off to the very things that could help me, because no one is to be trusted." "I've seen too much hope, and too much beauty, and too much healing walking through the spiritual exercises that I can no longer despair that trauma has the final word." "Gazing upon the God who gazes upon me with love. That is contemplative prayer." About Bo Karen Lee Bo Karen Lee is Associate Professor of Spiritual Theology and Christian Formation at Princeton Theological Seminary, where she teaches contemplative theology, Ignatian spirituality, and the relationship between prayer and social justice. A leading voice in the integration of trauma studies and Christian formation, she brings the Ignatian tradition into conversation with psychology, attachment theory, and the lived experience of racialized communities. Her work draws on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola to offer resources for healing that are both theologically grounded and pastorally immediate. She directs retreatants in the nineteenth annotation of the Spiritual Exercises and works regularly with spiritual directors trained in the Ignatian tradition. Helpful Links and Resources Bessel van der Kolk, Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body, and Society https://www.amazon.com/Traumatic-Stress-Overwhelming-Experience-Society/dp/1572300485 Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score Resmaa Menakem, My Grandmother's Hands https://www.resmaa.com/resources Kathy Weingarten, Common Shock: Witnessing Violence Every Day https://www.kathyweingarten.com David Fleming SJ, Draw Me Into Your Friendship https://www.amazon.com/Draw-Me-Into-Your-Friendship/dp/0912422904 Ignatius of Loyola, The Spiritual Exercises https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-spiritual-exercises/ Edward Tronick, Still Face Experiment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0 Find a Spiritual Director https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/making-good-decisions/find-a-spiritual-director/ Show Notes Trauma defined: "terror triggered by an inescapably stressful event that overwhelms existing coping mechanisms" — Bessel van der Kolk Layers of trauma: collective pandemic grief, personal wounding, racialized violence, intergenerational encoding, vicarious/secondary trauma Global pandemic as collective trauma — threat of death, forced isolation, planetary-scale overwhelm Racialized trauma and AAPI hate incidents — one in five AAPI individuals reported a hate incident in the U.S. in a 15-month window (as of late 2021) My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem — racialized trauma encoded in bodies and communities https://www.resmaa.com/resources Cumulative microaggressions — daily small injuries can produce PTSD-level effects over time; growing body of clinical literature Secondary/vicarious trauma — hearing others' suffering reactivates unresolved wounds in caregivers and companions "Double jeopardy" — Kathy Weingarten's term for caregivers whose own past traumas are reactivated while supporting others Five professions at highest risk: clergy, health workers, teachers, police, journalists — context for the Great Resignation "Alarmed aloneness" — the net effect of trauma: certainty that no one sees you, no one cares, no one can be trusted "Trauma tends to isolate and alienate us from our siblings, our human siblings. But ironically, this witnessing of one another's pain is the source of healing." The orphan image: a girl in a Middle Eastern orphanage draws a chalk mother around her fetal body — illusory comfort as portrait of traumatic isolation Intergenerational trauma — encoded in DNA; personal testimony about learning her own mother was nearly killed as an infant, its echo across generations Kintsugi as healing metaphor — the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold; grief before repair, not a race to be fixed Robert Stolorow's concept: finding a "relational home" for traumatic suffering — the necessity of being witnessed Ignatius of Loyola — 16th-century Spanish soldier wounded by cannonball; encountered the living Christ through Ludolph of Saxony's Vita Christi during convalescence The Spiritual Exercises: a four-week manual for imaginative prayer — beloved and broken, walking with Christ through ministry, suffering, resurrection https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-spiritual-exercises/ Ignatian contemplative prayer defined: "gazing upon the God who gazes upon me with love" — kataphatic, embodied, not requiring stillness or silence Still Face Experiment (Edward Tronick) — infant distress when a loving mother goes blank; evidence that the gaze of love is neurologically and psychologically foundational https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0 Attachment theory and spiritual formation — earned secure attachment: what unhealthy early bonding cannot provide, sustained relationship with God can "I've seen too much hope, and too much beauty, and too much healing walking through the spiritual exercises that I can no longer despair that trauma has the final word." Personal testimony: AAPI hate crimes, night terrors, contemplative prayer with a spiritual director; a vision of Mary, the wailing women, and the crucified Christ "Bo, they killed me too" — Christ's words in a contemplative vision; solidarity as the beginning of bearable grief Sartre's "hell is other people" reframed — parasitic dependence on others' approval vs. the freedom of knowing how God gazes upon you Resources for beginning: David Fleming's Draw Me Into Your Friendship; finding a spiritual director trained in Ignatian spirituality; Jesuit retreat centers #TraumaHealing #IgnatianSpirituality #ContemplativePrayer #ChristianFormation #SpiritualTheology #MentalHealthAndFaith #RacializedTrauma #AttachmentTheory #ForTheLifeOfTheWorld #YaleDivinity Production Notes This podcast featured Bo Karen Lee Edited and Produced by Evan Rosa Hosted by Evan Rosa Production Assistance by Annie Trowbridge and Luke Stringer A Production of the Yale Center for Faith & Culture at Yale Divinity School https://faith.yale.edu/about Support For the Life of the World podcast by giving to the Yale Center for Faith & Culture: https://faith.yale.edu/give
En este episodio exploramos una pregunta muy importante: ¿por qué reaccionamos de la manera en que reaccionamos? Muchas veces nuestras respuestas emocionales parecen desproporcionadas, confusas o incluso fuera de nuestro control. Pero la realidad es que muchas de estas reacciones están profundamente conectadas con nuestra historia, nuestras experiencias pasadas y la manera en que nuestro sistema nervioso aprendió a protegernos. A lo largo de este episodio hablamos sobre cómo nuestras experiencias pueden moldear nuestras respuestas, cómo el cuerpo guarda memoria de lo que hemos vivido y por qué comprender esto puede ser el primer paso hacia la sanidad. También hacemos referencia al libro The Body Keeps the Score de Bessel van der Kolk, una obra muy reconocida que explora cómo el trauma y las experiencias difíciles pueden quedar registradas en el cuerpo y cómo es posible comenzar un proceso de sanidad desde un entendimiento más profundo. Porque la verdadera transformación no comienza con simplemente cambiar nuestro comportamiento, sino con entender lo que sucede dentro de nosotros. Si tienes preguntas o quieres compartir tu experiencia, puedes escribirnos en anatomyofchangeofficial.com o en Instagram @_stillwaters365. Esperamos que el Señor te hable a través de este mensaje. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the places where you feel the most emotionally reactive are actually invitations to grow? In today's workout, Alisa Keeton, founder and CEO of Revelation Wellness, invites you to move your body while engaging the Word of God—not just hearing it, but living it. Because Scripture calls us to be doers of the Word, not just hearers. So get your good body moving. However you choose to move today—walking, jogging, stretching, or simply breathing deeply—remember this: movement helps your body do what God designed it to do. Today's Scripture: Numbers 20:1–13 The Body and Our Emotions Our bodies are emotional places. Trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk famously wrote The Body Keeps the Score, reminding us that emotions live in our bodies. No emotion is off the table. At their core, emotions are childlike signals. Your brain is simply trying to keep you safe. But emotional reactivity can reveal something deeper. Our emotional instability can show us the places where we're still growing. The places where we're still immature. The places where we need God's presence most. Questions to Reflect On While You Move As you get the blood flowing and settle into your movement today, consider: What have you seen God do in your life? What miracles has He already performed? Where might you be trying to fix things in your own strength? Emotional maturity isn't achieved through willpower. The cure is His presence. So today, breathe deep. Relax your shoulders. Keep moving. Let God meet you in your body, your breath, and your emotions. Playlist: Thankful by Lukas Gross & Martna Valeikaitė Matter of Time by Vandelux You're Gonna Be OK by Rave Jesus & son Ordinary by Alex Warren holy bounce by Bonafyde Thank God I'm Free by Elevation Rhythm Mighty Name of Jesus by Hope Darst Don't Give Up On Me by Brandon Lake Ready to Go Deeper?
What if the places where you feel the most emotionally reactive are actually invitations to grow? In today's workout, Alisa Keeton, founder and CEO of Revelation Wellness, invites you to move your body while engaging the Word of God—not just hearing it, but living it. Because Scripture calls us to be doers of the Word, not just hearers. So get your good body moving. However you choose to move today—walking, jogging, stretching, or simply breathing deeply—remember this: movement helps your body do what God designed it to do. Today's Scripture: Numbers 20:1–13 The Body and Our Emotions Our bodies are emotional places. Trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk famously wrote The Body Keeps the Score, reminding us that emotions live in our bodies. No emotion is off the table. At their core, emotions are childlike signals. Your brain is simply trying to keep you safe. But emotional reactivity can reveal something deeper. Our emotional instability can show us the places where we're still growing. The places where we're still immature. The places where we need God's presence most. Questions to Reflect On While You Move As you get the blood flowing and settle into your movement today, consider: What have you seen God do in your life? What miracles has He already performed? Where might you be trying to fix things in your own strength? Emotional maturity isn't achieved through willpower. The cure is His presence. So today, breathe deep. Relax your shoulders. Keep moving. Let God meet you in your body, your breath, and your emotions. Playlist: Thankful by Lukas Gross & Martna Valeikaitė Matter of Time by Vandelux You're Gonna Be OK by Rave Jesus & son Ordinary by Alex Warren holy bounce by Bonafyde Thank God I'm Free by Elevation Rhythm Mighty Name of Jesus by Hope Darst Don't Give Up On Me by Brandon Lake Ready to Go Deeper?
Send a textThe Books That Helped Me Get and Stay Sober | The Sober Butterfly PodcastIn this solo episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast, Nadine shares the books that helped her question her relationship with alcohol, get through early sobriety, and begin the deeper healing work that came after quitting drinking.From classic quit lit like Quit Like a Woman, Blackout, We Are the Luckiest, and This Naked Mind to recovery staples like The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps, Nadine reflects on how books became a lifeline in the earliest and most fragile stages of her alcohol-free journey.She also shares nontraditional sobriety reads that helped her rebuild her mindset and heal, including Atomic Habits, The Mountain Is You, The Body Keeps the Score, The Inner Work, and Dry Humping by past Sober Butterfly guest Tawny Lara.Whether you're sober curious, newly sober, years alcohol-free, or simply exploring your relationship with drinking, this episode offers a thoughtful reading list and honest reflections on how books can support recovery, healing, and growth.Books mentioned in this episode:Quit Like a Woman by Holly WhitakerBlackout by Sarah HepolaWe Are the Luckiest by Laura McKowenThis Naked Mind by Annie GraceAlcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book)A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps by Stephanie S. CovingtonAtomic Habits by James ClearSober on a Drunk Planet by Sean AlexanderThe Mountain Is You by Brianna WiestThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkThe Inner Work by Ashley Cottrell and Mathew MichelettiDry Humping by Tawny LaraSponsors
Links Knot (unit) - Wikipedia Matthew Walker knot - Wikipedia Knotter Notes - YouTube New molecular knot is most complex yet - Science News NAUGHT Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster Pizza Hut Take Fans on a Trip to the Past - The New York Times Blondie - Dreaming - YouTube Last One Laughing UK Season 2 | Official Trailer | Prime Video - YouTube Alan Carr and Bob Mortimer stand out in Last One Laughing season 2's hilarious brand-new trailer - Digital Spy 8 Out of 10 Cats - YouTube Epstein island Pokémon Go stop removed after fan outrage - Polygon Chonk - SNL - YouTube The art of misdirection | Apollo Robbins | TED - YouTube A Chorus Line (1985) - Dance: Ten, Looks: Three Scene (4/8) | Movieclips - YouTube CARROT Weather for iOS and Android The Body Keeps the Score a book by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. - Bookshop.org US Buddhism Is Not What You Think a book by Steve Hagen - Bookshop.org US Opinion | This Conversation Will Change How You Think About Trauma - The New York Times What Went Wrong Podcast | The Behind-the-Scenes Drama Behind Your Favorite Films A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (TV series) - Wikipedia How To Ban Conversion Therapy | Philosophy Tube - Nebula Philosophy Tube - YouTube
En este episodio de Leyendo con Vale exploramos una verdad profunda: cómo las experiencias difíciles y el trauma no solo quedan en la mente, sino también almacenados en el cuerpo. Conversamos sobre qué significa esto y cómo podemos empezar, paso a paso, un camino real hacia la sanidad emocional.Inspirado en el poderoso libro The Body Keeps the Score de Bessel van der Kolk, este episodio abre una conversación honesta sobre el dolor, la memoria del cuerpo y la esperanza de sanar. Porque aunque el cuerpo recuerde… también puede aprender a sanar.
In this week's episode of the Finding God Podcast, Keana W. Mitchell explores what it truly means to worship without fear for those healing from religious trauma, spiritual manipulation, or environments where worship felt pressured or unsafe. This gentle, trauma‑informed conversation guides listeners back to the heart of worship: connection, honesty, and safety in God's presence.Keana begins with a grounding moment, then revisits last week's episode on reconnecting with God after religious trauma. Drawing from leading trauma researchers like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Stephen Porges, and Dr. Diane Langberg, she explains how trauma affects the nervous system and why worship can feel overwhelming even when the desire to connect with God is strong.Through powerful biblical examples — David, Elijah, Hagar, Mary Magdalene, and the disciples Keana shows how God consistently meets people in fear with gentleness, not pressure. The episode then explores what worship without fear looks like in real life and offers practical steps for creating spiritually safe, grounding worship practices.This episode is a compassionate reminder that God's presence is not a place of fear, but a place of refuge.What You'll Hear in This EpisodeWhy worship can feel unsafe after religious traumaHow trauma affects the body's ability to feel spiritually safeInsights from leading trauma psychologists (van der Kolk, Porges, Langberg)Biblical stories of people who found safety in God's presenceWhat worship without fear actually looks likeGentle, practical steps to begin worshiping safely againEncouragement for reconnecting with God at your own paceKey TakeawaysGod's presence is a place of safety, not pressureTrauma can make worship feel overwhelming — and that's normalHealing requires gentleness, not spiritual performanceWorship can be quiet, slow, and deeply personalGod meets you where you are, not where others expect you to beSmall moments of connection matter and build over timeScripture ReferencesPsalm 23; Psalm 34 — David finding refuge in God1 Kings 19 — Elijah encountering God's gentle whisperGenesis 16 & 21 — Hagar meeting “El Roi,” the God who sees herJohn 20 — Mary Magdalene and the disciples finding peace in Jesus' presenceScholarly References (General Citations)van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory.Langberg, D. (2015). Suffering and the Heart of God.Support the MinistryIf this episode encouraged you, consider supporting the Finding God Podcast through the donation button on RedCircle. Your support helps keep these spiritually grounded conversations going.
In this fascinating conversation, CJ Miller speaks with psychotherapist and author Deborah Sandella, creator of Regenerating Images in Memory (RIM) and author of Goodbye, Hurt & Pain—a powerful approach that helps people access emotional healing through imagination, intuition, and body awareness.Dr. Deb explains why modern culture has become overly dependent on logic and problem-solving while neglecting the intuitive and emotional intelligence stored in the nervous system. Drawing on neuroscience research—including the work of trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk—she describes how deeply held experiences are often stored as images and sensations rather than words.Through RIM, participants close their eyes, turn inward, and allow spontaneous images to arise from the body's emotional memory. These images act as translators, revealing insights that the thinking mind alone cannot access. In this episode, CJ even experiences a brief guided example during the conversation, uncovering a powerful image that speaks directly to the emotional weight many people carry in life.Dr. Deb shares why emotional healing is not about “solving” problems but about sensing, trusting the body's wisdom, and allowing imagination to reveal the deeper truth of what we are experiencing. She also introduces her concept of the Emotional Operating System, reminding us that we are born with innate resources for resilience, curiosity, and healing.For artists, seekers, and anyone interested in the intersection of creativity, psychology, and spiritual growth, this episode explores how intuition, imagination, and body awareness can reconnect us with our inherent wholeness.Learn more about Dr. Deborah Sandella and the RIM method: Visit deborahsandella.com to explore her work, books, and training programs, including how to become a certified RIM facilitator.Want to learn more about CJ Miller? Check out his Spiritual Artist Retreats, 1:1 Personal Coaching, and Speaking Engagements at www.spiritualartisttoday.com. His retreats are designed to help you reconnect with your Creative Intelligence and express your true artistic voice. You can also find his upcoming schedule there, and his book, The Spiritual Artist, is available on Amazon.
In today's episode of The Worth Loving Podcast, we explore what it truly means to date with confidence after experiencing emotional abuse. Healing from emotional manipulation, gaslighting, or chronic invalidation changes the way you see yourself, your relationships, and your ability to trust. Dating again can feel overwhelming, but it can also be a powerful opportunity to reconnect with your intuition, your boundaries, and your worth.Drawing from the work of leading trauma and attachment researchers like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Judith Herman, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. Kristin Neff, this episode breaks down why dating feels different after emotional abuse and how to rebuild the internal safety you need to choose healthy love.We'll talk about rebuilding self‑trust, recognizing red and green flags, moving at your own pace, and honoring your emotional needs without guilt. You'll also receive reflective questions to help you deepen your healing and approach dating with clarity and confidence.And don't forget be on the lookout for a special mini‑drop from our podcast artist Emory Rose, coming soon to all streaming platforms.In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why dating after emotional abuse feels overwhelming — and why that's normalHow trauma impacts your nervous system, intuition, and sense of safetyWhat rebuilding self‑trust looks like in practical, everyday waysHow to date at a pace that honors your healingThe difference between healthy attention and love bombingRed flags to watch for in early datingGreen flags that signal emotional safety and maturityHow to listen to your body and intuition while datingReflective questions to help you date with confidenceReflective Questions from Today's Episode:What does emotional safety feel like in my body?What are my non‑negotiables in dating?What red flags have I ignored in the past, and why?What green flags do I want to pay more attention to?How can I honor my pace in dating?What boundaries do I want to set early?How can I practice self‑trust this week?Coaching Program MentionedIf you're ready to go deeper in your healing journey, my 12‑week trauma‑informed coaching program You Are Worth Loving™ is designed to help you rebuild self‑trust, break unhealthy patterns, and choose relationships that feel safe and aligned. Enrollment opens soon — stay tuned.Submit Your Questions for Thursday's Q&A EpisodeEvery Thursday, we release a Q&A episode shaped entirely by your questions. If you'd like your question featured, email me at:
You've tried the programs. Hired the coaches. Read the books. Set the goals. And something still won't move.The personal development industry has a very convenient explanation for that: you. Your mindset. Your discipline. Your willingness to do the work.They're wrong. And in this episode, Tim Eldred names the thing nobody in that industry wants to say out loud—because saying it blows up the business model.The reason most transformation efforts fail isn't bad ideas or weak willpower. It's that they're being applied to a body that isn't ready to receive them. A nervous system stuck in survival mode can't build new habits. Can't think creatively. Can't change. The biology won't allow it.Tim breaks down the science—without the jargon—and gives you four specific inputs that speak directly to your survival system. No purchase required.The Shift releases March 15. Pre-order on Amazon.SHOW NOTESWhy does lasting change feel impossible—even when you're doing everything right?In this episode, Tim Eldred goes after the real reason: not your character, not your discipline, not your willingness to do the work. The problem is biological. When your nervous system is stuck in survival mode—fight, flight, or freeze—the brain regions you need to build habits, regulate emotions, think clearly, and actually change are neurologically offline. Not impaired. Offline.Tim breaks down:Why the personal development industry is built on a loop that protects itself by blaming you The science behind why mindset-first approaches have a ceiling (and why nobody selling them will tell you) What polyvagal theory and The Body Keeps the Score actually mean for your daily life — in plain English Four nervous system inputs that bypass your thinking brain entirely: morning light, coherent breathing, cold exposure, and blood sugar regulationThis isn't wellness content. These are interventions that speak directly to the survival system no amount of mindset work has been able to reach.Try this tomorrow morning: → Get outside within the first hour of waking — 5 to 10 minutes of sunlight on your face → Eat 30g of protein before coffee → Three minutes of coherent breathing: 6 seconds in, 6 seconds outYour body will start to respond before your mind understands why.Researchers mentioned in this episode:Dr. Stephen Porges — Polyvagal TheoryDr. Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the ScoreDr. Andrew Huberman — Stanford, circadian and nervous system researchThe Shift — Tim's new book — releases March 15, 2026. Pre-order here.Want early access and behind-the-scenes content before launch? Join the launch team.Connect with Tim: Substack: Square Peg Round HoleSend us a text message. We'd love to hear from you!Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.
Mit dieser Folge beginnt eine dreiteilige Reihe zum Thema Hochbegabung und Trauma. Neben häufig vorhandenen weiteren Neurodivergenzen spielen auch Traumatisierungen bei hochbegabten Menschen häufig eine Rolle. Oftmals lange Zeit so weitgehend kompensiert, dass Betroffene selbst oder ihr Umfeld auch dies erst spät erkennen. In der heutigen Folge geht es um grundsätzliche Infos zum Thema Trauma sowie speziell um Traumaursachen und Traumafolgen bei Hochbegabten. Hierzu unterhalte ich mich mit meinen Fach-Kolleginnen Antje Schupp und Katrin Zinkel. Antje Schupp ist Heilpraktikerin für Psychotherapie mit Schwerpunkt körperorientierte Traumatherapie und Sonderpädagogin. Katrin Zinkel ist Fachberaterin für Autismus und ausgebildet in traumasensibler Beratung. Sie arbeitet mit spätdiagnostizierten Erwachsenen, hauptsächlich aus dem Autismus-Spektrum, die meist zugleich hochbegabt sind, aber auch mit Menschen, die "nur“ hochbegabt sind.Gleich drei Folgen zum Thema Trauma in diesem Podcast mit dem lebensfrohen Namen BegabungsLUST? Wie passt das zusammen? Meine Erfahrung ist: Raum für die lustvolle Gestaltung des eigenen Lebens, für Entfaltung und mehr Genuss zu schaffen, setzt einen Befreiungs- und Integrationsprozess voraus, der eben auch die Auseinandersetzung mit schmerzhaften Themen beinhaltet. Wir behandeln das Thema Trauma in diesen Podcastfolgen mit der nötigen Ernsthaftigkeit, zugleich warmherzig, lebenslustig und in dem Wissen, dass Menschen ja viel mehr sind als das, was ihnen Schlimmes widerfahren ist. Weiter unten ein paar hilfreiche Literatur- und Podcasttipps, damit ihr nach dem Hören dieser Folge nicht ins Leere lauft.Technische Redaktion: Babette BraunWebsite Antje Schupp und Übungen auf ihrem YouTube KanalWebsite Katrin Zinkel mit Hinweis auf ein Retreat „Denken-Fühlen-Sein“ im Juni 2026 in SchwedenWebsite Andrea Schwiebert mit Infos zur Begabungslust Community und zu Andreas BüchernBuch „Journey into your Rainforest Mind“ von Paula ProberBuch „Das Trauma in dir“ von Bessel van der KolkBuch „Trauma und Beziehungen“ von Verena KönigPodcast von Verena KönigPodcast von Dami CharfWebsite Polyvagal Akademie
Dans ce deuxième épisode, Adèle nous raconte sa levée d'amnésie traumatique, et plaide pour un discours plus équilibré sur les thérapies psychédéliques ainsi que pour des accompagnements trauma-informés.Pour en savoir plus sur l'amnésie traumatique et sa levée, quelques ressources :Le Livre noir des violences sexuelles, de Muriel SalmonaChapitre 7 du livre "Victimologie, éducation, traitement et résilience" dispo iciLa série de podcasts de France Culture "Trauma et violence sexuelle : de l'agression à la réparation", particulièrement les épisodes 2 et 3, dispos iciAutres ressources conseillées par Adèle :"- le podcast que j'évoque, de la femme (Sanara) qui raconte sa levée d'amnésie : Lumineuse podcast.L'épisode précis qui m'a énormément aidée à conscientiser la levée d'amnésie : https://open.spotify.com/episode/3CbqJhFKvdlYWJwL7eoqud?si=1yYJyqWTSBC_XyDc2luKiwPsychologues & psychiatre français références sur l'amnésie traumatique : Muriel Salmona, Bruno Clavier, Lucie Allard (ont écrit des livres et, ou présents sur youtube).- Récit de passages en psychiatrie (et les électrochocs) :Dors, demain ça ira mieux. Lucie MonnacChocs. Marc Grinsztajn- Livres de récits de sorties d'amnésie traumatique suite à des violences sexuelles enfants :La consolation. Flavie FlamentNos âmes oubliées. Stéphane Allix (levée d'amnésie sous psychédéliques)- Les approches thérapeutiques (surtout corporelles) qui m'aident :Internal Family System (IFS), fondée par Richard C. SchwartzThéorie polyvagale par Stephen W. PorgesSomatic Experiencing par Peter LevineLe corps n'oublie rien. Livre de Bessel van der Kolk"Cliquez ici pour découvrir mon livre "Qu'est-ce que vous croyez ?"
In this week's episode of The Worth Loving Podcast, Keana W. Mitchell dives deep into one of the most common and painful relationship patterns: repeatedly attracting toxic partners. Through a trauma‑informed lens, Keana explores why these patterns form, how attachment wounds shape our attraction, and what it truly takes to break the cycle. Drawing on leading psychological research, she offers compassionate insight and practical steps to help you move toward healthier, emotionally safe relationships.Before unpacking this week's topic, Keana recaps last week's episode on Emotional Intimacy vs. Physical Intimacy, highlighting why emotional connection not physical intensity creates stronger, more secure bonds. This foundation sets the stage for understanding why so many people confuse intensity with love and how that confusion leads to unhealthy relationship choices.If you've ever felt stuck in a loop of choosing partners who drain you, confuse you, or make you question your worth, this episode will help you understand the deeper emotional patterns at play and guide you toward healing, clarity, and healthier love.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy we're drawn to familiar emotional patterns even when they're unhealthyHow attachment styles influence partner selection (Ainsworth, 1978; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007)The role of trauma, repetition compulsion, and nervous system conditioning (Freud, 1920; van der Kolk, 2014)Why intensity is often mistaken for love (Carnes, 1997)Signs you may be attracting toxic partnersHow to build emotional intimacy with yourselfHow to rewire your nervous system to recognize healthy love (Porges, 2011)Practical steps to break the cycle and move toward secure attachment (Siegel, 2012)Green flags to look for in emotionally safe partnersKey TakeawaysYou don't choose toxic partners because you're broken, you choose what feels familiar.Emotional intimacy not physical intensity is the foundation of secure connection.Healing your attachment wounds changes who you're attracted to and who you allow into your life.Healthy love feels steady, consistent, and safe not chaotic or confusing.You can absolutely break the cycle and move toward relationships that honor your worth.Referenced Psychologists & ResearchJohn Bowlby (Attachment Theory)Mary Ainsworth (Attachment Styles)Hazan & Shaver (Romantic Attachment)Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotional Bonding)Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (Trauma & the Body)Dr. Judith Herman (Trauma & Recovery)Dr. Patrick Carnes (Trauma Bonding)Dr. Kristin Neff (Self‑Compassion)Dr. Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory)Dr. Daniel Siegel (Attachment & Neurobiology)Dr. John Gottman (Relationship Stability)Listener Reflection QuestionsWhat relationship patterns have you noticed repeating in your life?How does your body respond to emotional safety vs. emotional intensity?Which green flags do you want to prioritize moving forward?What boundaries or self‑compassion practices can support your healing?
Daphne Fatter, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, author, and international speaker known for her work integrating EMDR and Internal Family Systems therapy. She wrote Integrating EMDR and Internal Family Systems Therapy 3and has over 20 years of EMDR experience.Daphne has completed more than 460 hours of IFS training, including work with IFS founder Dr. Richard Schwartz, and also practices ancestral healing.She earned her master's from Naropa University and her doctorate from Penn State, then completed a postdoctoral fellowship at The Trauma Center under Dr. Bessel van der Kolk.Daphne previously served as Military Sexual Trauma Coordinator at the Fort Worth VA, has published on trauma and IFS, and now teaches clinicians worldwide while maintaining a private practice in Dallas.In This EpisodeDaphne's websiteDaphne's trainingsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa———If you'd like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.Thank you to our Sponsors:Jane App - use code GUY1MO at https://jane.appArizona Trauma Institute at https://aztrauma.org/
In this week's episode of The Worth Loving Podcast, Keana W. Mitchell dives deep into one of the most common and painful relationship patterns: repeatedly attracting toxic partners. Through a trauma‑informed lens, Keana explores why these patterns form, how attachment wounds shape our attraction, and what it truly takes to break the cycle. Drawing on leading psychological research, she offers compassionate insight and practical steps to help you move toward healthier, emotionally safe relationships.Before unpacking this week's topic, Keana recaps last week's episode on Emotional Intimacy vs. Physical Intimacy, highlighting why emotional connection not physical intensity creates stronger, more secure bonds. This foundation sets the stage for understanding why so many people confuse intensity with love and how that confusion leads to unhealthy relationship choices.If you've ever felt stuck in a loop of choosing partners who drain you, confuse you, or make you question your worth, this episode will help you understand the deeper emotional patterns at play and guide you toward healing, clarity, and healthier love.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy we're drawn to familiar emotional patterns even when they're unhealthyHow attachment styles influence partner selection (Ainsworth, 1978; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007)The role of trauma, repetition compulsion, and nervous system conditioning (Freud, 1920; van der Kolk, 2014)Why intensity is often mistaken for love (Carnes, 1997)Signs you may be attracting toxic partnersHow to build emotional intimacy with yourselfHow to rewire your nervous system to recognize healthy love (Porges, 2011)Practical steps to break the cycle and move toward secure attachment (Siegel, 2012)Green flags to look for in emotionally safe partnersKey TakeawaysYou don't choose toxic partners because you're broken, you choose what feels familiar.Emotional intimacy not physical intensity is the foundation of secure connection.Healing your attachment wounds changes who you're attracted to and who you allow into your life.Healthy love feels steady, consistent, and safe not chaotic or confusing.You can absolutely break the cycle and move toward relationships that honor your worth.Referenced Psychologists & ResearchJohn Bowlby (Attachment Theory)Mary Ainsworth (Attachment Styles)Hazan & Shaver (Romantic Attachment)Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotional Bonding)Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (Trauma & the Body)Dr. Judith Herman (Trauma & Recovery)Dr. Patrick Carnes (Trauma Bonding)Dr. Kristin Neff (Self‑Compassion)Dr. Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory)Dr. Daniel Siegel (Attachment & Neurobiology)Dr. John Gottman (Relationship Stability)Listener Reflection QuestionsWhat relationship patterns have you noticed repeating in your life?How does your body respond to emotional safety vs. emotional intensity?Which green flags do you want to prioritize moving forward?What boundaries or self‑compassion practices can support your healing?
Wat als je grootste leraar je eigen lichaam is?Onlangs interviewde ik Hilde Bolt. Zij is een ervaren klinisch psycholoog en traumaspecialist en begon haar loopbaan in de zwaarste gesloten psychiatrie van Nederland. Niet met een boekje in de hand, maar liggend op de grond naast een patiënt die twee weken onder haar bed weigerde uit te komen. Ja, letterlijk.Dat was het moment waarop Hilde snapte: de klassieke aanpak werkt hier niet. Creatief zijn was geen keuze, het was overleven. Ze ging op de grond liggen, vergeleek de vrouw met haar bange kat, en... het werkte. De vrouw kroop onder het bed vandaan.In dit gesprek neemt Hilde ons mee in haar visie op trauma, het lichaam en wat coaches én gewone mensen hiervan kunnen leren. En dat is véél meer dan je denkt.Een paar dingen die blijven hangen:Trauma is overal. We worden letterlijk geregeerd door getraumatiseerde mensen. Kijk maar om je heen.Je hoeft geen traumaspecialist te worden. Wél traumasensitief. Dat is een groot verschil, en het begint met nieuwsgierigheid en aanwezigheid.Kennis lezen ≠ kennis belichamen. Hilde ziet collega's die Gabor Maté en Bessel van der Kolk hebben gelezen maar in de praktijk toch met een "punthoofd" zitten te fixeren op hun cliënt. Herkenbaar?Het lichaam vergeet niets. Jaarlijks op exact dezelfde datum pijn op de plek van een oude operatie? Dat is geen toeval. Het lichaam slaat alles op, inclusief wat je dacht te hebben "verwerkt."De kracht van stilte. Soms is het enige wat iemand nodig heeft dat jij er gewoon bent. Geen tissues halen, geen plan trekken. Gewoon: aanwezig zijn.En over haar grote inspirator Gabor Maté: zijn aanpak laat zich samenvatten als compassievol nieuwsgierig zijn. Niet behandelen. Zijn.Muziek als medicijn, het lichaam als kompas, en een dobbelsteen die de laatste vraag bepaalt. Dit is een gesprek dat je niet snel vergeet.Meer over Hilde lees je hier: https://www.hildebolt.nl/Zin om je grondig én plezierig (verder) te bekwamen in het coachvak? Kijk eens hier: www.bewezeneffect.nl/Zin om te reageren op deze Podcast? Heb je een vraag, een compliment of opbouwende feedback? Hier laat je eenvoudig een voice-berichtje voor ons achter: www.speakpipe.com/bewezeneffectOf stuur een mailtje naar: team@bewezeneffect.nlVerder zijn alle blijken van waardering zeer welkom: delen met anderen, 5-sterren reviews, reacties, lid worden, etc. Doe vooral wat je passend vindt!Daarmee steun je deze podcast en zorg je dat ik gemotiveerd blijf om hem te maken, dus grote dank als je die kleine moeite neemt!
When Authority Shapes Appetite By Gary Null PhD “The body keeps the score.” — Bessel van der Kolk When Robert F. Kennedy Jr., now overseeing the major public health agencies of the United States, publicly endorsed the ketogenic diet as an ideal way of eating, his words did not float casually into the air. They landed with weight. In an era of chronic disease, metabolic confusion, and institutional distrust, people listen carefully to those who occupy positions of power. A statement about diet, when made by someone entrusted with national health leadership, does more than describe a personal preference. It signals direction. It shapes conversation. It influences behavior. https://garynull.substack.com/ https://garynull.com/when-authority-shapes-appetite/
Jackie Gowran is an holistic business coach who works on personal and business development alchemy through her business https://www.businessweaving.com/Today she is chatting with Stef about our nervous systems. What are they? What do they do for us? How can we recognise the messages they are sending us and how can we rewire the not so useful messages. How can we attune more to our gut instinct? How do we recognise when we are tipping into an unregulated state?There is so much in this episode you might need a pen and paper!The book Jackie mentioned was The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. You can work with Jackie by booking a call on her website. If you are interested in joining Jackie for a parenting circle please email your interest to Stef themummind@gmail.comStef McSherry is a mum of 2 and a pre-school activity specialist, working with that age group for over 20 years.Stef is also the creator of the award - winning, multi - activity programme Kinderama. If you're looking for imaginative classes for your pre-schooler check out www.kinderama.com.And if you want to spark some imaginative play at home why not take a look at https://irishfairytails.com/Become a curious mermaid or a brave dragon with these beautiful book and tail sets! Thanks for listening to the podcast, I hope it helps in some way. Please tell a friend or share an episode or Follow/ Subscribe/Review so I can keep continue to produce free and essential parenting content.Want to ask a question or suggest a guest? Email themummind@gmail.comJoin us on Instagram:Stef: @kinderama @irishfairytailsThe Mum Mind: @themummindpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
After an extended absence, Tim is back—and he's not coming back empty-handed. A brain aneurysm. A rare nerve condition. A body that stopped cooperating. And 35 years of knowing how to help people change—none of it working when he was the one who needed to change.That's where this starts.In this episode, Tim tells the full story he's never told: what broke down, what he found in the science, and what he spent two years building in response. The core insight changed everything he thought he knew about transformation — and it might change how you think about why you're stuck.If you've been doing everything right and something still feels off, this one's for you.In this episode:Why Tim disappeared—and why it mattersGlossopharyngeal neuralgia, a brain aneurysm, and the moment his frameworks failed him in real timeThe science: polyvagal theory, somatic research, and why the body decides what's possible before the mind gets involvedWhy you cannot build sustainable change on a dysregulated nervous systemThe S.H.I.F.T. framework—what it is and where it came fromMentioned: The Shift by Timothy Eldred—pre-order now, releases March 15 → theshiftplan.comDr. Stephen Porges—Polyvagal Theory, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk—The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett—How Emotions Are Made.Join the Launch Teamtimothyeldred.com | theshiftplan.comSend us a text message. We'd love to hear from you!Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.
Marie Vinck (1983) is actrice, ze maakt deel uit van het theatergezelschap FC Bergman, samen met haar man Stef Aerts. Ze maakten verschillende indrukwekkende, legendarische theatervoorstellingen, waarmee ze de wereld rondtourden. In 2023 won FC Bergman de prestigieuze Zilveren Leeuw voor Theater op de Biënnale van Venetië. Marie Vinck speelde ook in films en op tv: in Moeder waarom leven wij toen ze 10 was, in de film De kus, in Loft, De Rodenburgs, Zone Stad. Ze is de dochter van Hilde Van Mieghem.Ze woont samen met haar man en hun dochter Gloria in Antwerpen. De boekenkast hangt hoog in de living. We gingen aan tafel zitten en ze vertelt hoe voorstellingen soms ontstaan op die plek, in de living bij hen thuis. Het gaat over die ene zware voorstelling waarop ze allebei gecrasht zijn - een voorstelling gebaseerd op één van haar drie boeken. Ons gesprek gaat over de verdeling in hun boekenkast, over trauma, over deugdpronken, over hoe boeken lezen werk kan worden. Ik vraag ook of ze het leesvirus doorgegeven heeft aan haar dochter.Alle boeken en auteurs uit deze aflevering vind je in de shownotes op wimoosterlinck.beWil je de nieuwsbrief in je mailbox? wimoosterlinck.substack.comWil je de podcast steunen? Bestel je boeken dan steeds via de link op wimoosterlinck.be! Merci.De drie boeken van Marie Vinck zijn:Bessel van der Kolk: TraumasporenThomas Mann: De ToverbergGerard Reve: Bezorgde oudersLuister ook naar de drie boeken van: Hilde Van Mieghem, Stefan Hertmans, Eva Mouton, Nicci French, Josse De Pauw, Ish Ait Hamou, Murielle Scherre, Michèle Cuvelier, Françoise Chombar en vele anderen.Wil je het boek '103 boeken die je gelezen moet hebben' bestellen - het boek van de podcast? Dat kan op wimoosterlinck.be. Ik schrijf er met plezier iets in voor jou of voor de persoon aan wie je het boek cadeau wil doen.
@JennyfromtheShopp is back for another fan-favorite mindset chat! Today we're talking about how we've been developing our own mindsets, nervous system regulation, why mindset plays a major part in Etsy success, and how to keep going when the messy middle feels overwhelming. **"How to Sell Your Stuff on Etsy" is not affiliated with or endorsed by Etsy.com STUFF I MENTIONED: Profittree: The In Demand badge is BACK!!! Plus tags for every listing. Check out ProfitTree's new product research tool ETSY RADAR: https://lifetime.profittree.io/?via=lizzie87 Get the best profit tracking tool to help you know your numbers AND a product research tool for a one time fee of $67. (completely insane) Profittree Tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VO7Ra18ZPTw&t=1s Scaling Society: https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/scaling-society Podcast Jenny Mentioned: Project Me with Tiffany Carter: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/projectme-with-tiffany-carter-entrepreneurship/id1389440760 BOOKS: Becoming Supernatural by Dr Joe Dispenza: https://amzn.to/4to7KxV Your Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.: https://amzn.to/49KLma6 Jenny's Previous Episodes: Ep 179: MINDSET: Become a SIX FIGURE Etsy Seller-- with @Jennyfromtheshopp https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/blog/179 Ep 173: Mastering the ETSY SELLER Mindset -with @JennyfromtheShopp https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/blog/173 Ep 152: Mindset Changed Our Etsy Businesses Forever – with @JennyfromtheShopp https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/blog/152 Ep 96: Holiday POD Tips https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/blog/POD-holiday-tips Ep 67: Becoming a Best Selling POD Designer https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/blog/print-on-demand-etsy Ep 25: All about POD https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/blog/passive-income-with-print-on-demand FIND JENNY: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JennyFromTheShopp Instagram: (@itsjennyfromtheshopp) https://www.instagram.com/itsjennyfromtheshopp/ TikTok: (@jennyfromtheshopp) https://www.tiktok.com/@jennyfromtheshopp HOW I HELP ETSY SELLERS GROW: ⭐Scaling Society: https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/scaling-society ⭐"How to Blow Up Your Etsy Shop" free training: https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/interested-in-blow-up-shop ⭐Trendspotting: https://www.howtosellyourstuff.com/trendspotting ----------------------
This week on the Finding God Podcast, we're stepping into a tender and deeply important conversation: how to reconnect with God after experiencing religious trauma. If you've ever felt afraid of God, unsure how to pray, or disconnected from your faith because of harmful church experiences, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a gentle path forward.Religious trauma can distort your view of God, your sense of safety, and your ability to trust. But trauma does not have the final word. In this episode, Keana walks with you through what religious trauma is, how it affects your nervous system, and why your struggle to reconnect with God is a normal trauma response not a spiritual failure.Drawing from the work of leading trauma researchers like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Diane Langberg, Dr. Kristin Neff, and Dr. Stephen Porges, this episode blends psychology and faith in a way that honors both your story and God's heart.✨ In This Episode, We Explore:1. What Religious Trauma Really IsHow spiritual abuse, fear‑based teachings, and shame‑driven environments impact your relationship with God.2. How Trauma Distorts Your View of GodWhy your nervous system may associate God with fear, disappointment, or pressure — and how to gently untangle that.3. What Reconnection Actually Looks LikeA slow, non‑linear, compassionate process rooted in safety, honesty, and God's gentleness.4. Practical Ways to Reconnect With GodTrauma‑informed spiritual practices that don't rely on rituals, pressure, or performance.5. Signs You're Reconnecting (Even If It Feels Small)How to recognize subtle shifts that show your heart is healing.6. Reflection Questions for Your JourneyPrompts to help you explore your beliefs, fears, and hopes with God.
After two decades as a pastor making $50K a year, Eileen Wilder woke up to a terrifying truth: she was meant for more. Her body was breaking down. Her joy was gone. Then she walked into a conference that changed everything. Within 18 months, she went from broke and overwhelmed to generating seven figures as a coach. In this episode, Eileen joins Ilana to share how she pivoted from ministry to million-dollar offers, how immersive events like LeapCon can fast-track your growth, and the powerful exercise that will help you package your expertise and charge your worth. Eileen Wilder is a bestselling author and high-ticket business coach helping individuals package their expertise into profitable high-ticket offers. As a keynote speaker, she has shared stages with leaders like Tony Robbins, Russell Brunson, Ed Mylett, and Bishop T.D. Jakes, empowering others to build wealth, freedom, and impact. In this episode, Ilana and Eileen will discuss: (00:00) Introduction (04:06) Eileen's Journey from Pastor to Entrepreneur (07:35) Discovering Life Coaching at a Conference (14:01) The Life-Changing Impact of Events (16:17) How a “Janky” Video Took Her from $297 to $250K (18:35) Losing Her Mother and Finding Financial Power (24:00) From $50K Salary to Seven Figures in 18 Months (26:57) Practical Exercise for Commanding Premium Prices (35:22) $1 Million in a Day: The Power of High-Ticket Offers (40:12) Mastering the Art of Public Speaking (42:39) LeapCon 2026: A Transformational Experience (44:53) The Key to Pricing Your Services Eileen Wilder is a bestselling author, business growth consultant, and keynote speaker who helps entrepreneurs and creators turn their expertise into profitable high-ticket offers and virtual events. A former pastor of 20+ years, she transformed her fear of public speaking into a seven-figure speaking career and is now known as “The Queen of Stages.” Eileen has shared stages with leaders like Tony Robbins, Russell Brunson, Ed Mylett, and Bishop T.D. Jakes, empowering others to build wealth, freedom, and impact. Connect with Eileen: Eileen's Website: https://eileenwilder.com Eileen's Instagram: instagram.com/eileenwild Resources Mentioned: Eileen's Book, Financially Free: How To Create Your Own Economy No Matter What's Going On In the World Around You: https://www.financiallyfreebook.com/ff-1 Eileen's Book, The Pivot Plan: End Emotional Exhaustion, Overcome Depression, Discover Your Strongest Life: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1943127719 The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143127748 Leap Academy: LeapCon is the #1 Conference for Reinvention, Leadership & Career — a powerful 3‑day experience designed to help you unlock what's next in your career and life.
What does it look like to build something meaningful in the aftermath of loss, displacement, and collective trauma? In this episode, Stephanie Mitton sits down with sociologist and humanitarian entrepreneur Shahd Alasaly to explore how culture, craft, and community can become powerful tools for dignity, healing, and economic opportunity.This episode covers:How Shahd's Syrian heritage and family history shaped her purpose-driven workThe difference between individual and collective trauma, and why it mattersUsing fashion as a vehicle for dignity, connection, and cultural preservationWhat humanitarianism really means in everyday lifeCommon misconceptions about refugees and forced migrationBuilding businesses that prioritize people, not just profitThis conversation is grounded, hopeful, and deeply human. It reminds us that small, intentional actions can create meaningful change and that purpose and work do not have to be separate.Books Mentioned:The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkHow to find WOMENdontDOthat:Patreonhttps://www.patreon.com/womendontdothatInstagram - http://www.instagram.com/womendontdothat/TikTok- http://www.tiktok.com/@womendontdothatBlog- https://www.womendontdothat.com/blogPodcast- https://www.womendontdothat.com/podcastNewsletter- https://www.beaconnorthstrategies.com/contactwww.womendontdothat.comYouTube - http://www.youtube.com/@WOMENdontDOthatHow to find Stephanie Mitton:Twitter/X- https://twitter.com/StephanieMittonLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephaniemitton/beaconnorthstrategies.comTikTok- https://www.tiktok.com/@stephmittonInstagram- https://www.instagram.com/stephaniemitton/Interested in sponsorship? Contact us at hello@womendontdothat.comProduced by Duke & CastleOur Latest Blog: https://www.womendontdothat.com/post/i-don-t-do-resolutions-i-do-this-perfect-for-busy-women Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
JJ welcomes back Michelle Reittinger, author and host of The Upside of Bipolar, for a bold, hope-filled conversation that challenges common cultural narratives around bipolar disorder. Together, they unpack "myths" that can keep people stuck in fear and identity-based labels—and invite listeners into curiosity, root-cause investigation, and a more empowering view of symptoms, healing, and personal responsibility. In This Episode, We Cover · Michelle's story: diagnosed in 1998, years of intensive psychiatric treatment, polypharmacy, and a breaking point that became a turning point · Why a diagnosis can feel like an "answer," but often doesn't explain why symptoms started · The difference between a "cluster of symptoms" and an identified disease mechanism · Why curiosity (vs. shame) changes everything—especially with intense symptoms like rage, anxiety, and dissociation · The "detective" approach: identifying triggers, patterns, and underlying contributors · The role of foundational health (nutrients, sleep, nervous system regulation) in emotional resilience and symptom reduction · Why suppressed emotions can show up as anxiety, depression, physical pain, or crisis states · How identity, victimhood, and relationship dynamics can unconsciously reinforce staying stuck · A grounded reminder: do not abruptly stop medications—tapering/changes should be done slowly and safely with qualified support Notable Takeaways · Labels can reduce curiosity—and curiosity is often the doorway to change. · "Symptoms" are information; the goal is to explore what they're pointing to. · The most empowering question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What happened—and what is my system asking for now?" · Healing can have a social cost: if your "sick role" has been rewarded with attention, protection, or lowered expectations, getting better can feel threatening (even subconsciously). Resources Mentioned · Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker · The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk · Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno Connect with Michelle · Website: theupsideofbipolar.com · Free resource: Mood Cycle Survival Guide (available on her site) · Podcast + book links are also on her website.
JJ welcomes back Michelle Reittinger, author and host of The Upside of Bipolar, for a bold, hope-filled conversation that challenges common cultural narratives around bipolar disorder. Together, they unpack "myths" that can keep people stuck in fear and identity-based labels—and invite listeners into curiosity, root-cause investigation, and a more empowering view of symptoms, healing, and personal responsibility. In This Episode, We Cover · Michelle's story: diagnosed in 1998, years of intensive psychiatric treatment, polypharmacy, and a breaking point that became a turning point · Why a diagnosis can feel like an "answer," but often doesn't explain why symptoms started · The difference between a "cluster of symptoms" and an identified disease mechanism · Why curiosity (vs. shame) changes everything—especially with intense symptoms like rage, anxiety, and dissociation · The "detective" approach: identifying triggers, patterns, and underlying contributors · The role of foundational health (nutrients, sleep, nervous system regulation) in emotional resilience and symptom reduction · Why suppressed emotions can show up as anxiety, depression, physical pain, or crisis states · How identity, victimhood, and relationship dynamics can unconsciously reinforce staying stuck · A grounded reminder: do not abruptly stop medications—tapering/changes should be done slowly and safely with qualified support Notable Takeaways · Labels can reduce curiosity—and curiosity is often the doorway to change. · "Symptoms" are information; the goal is to explore what they're pointing to. · The most empowering question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What happened—and what is my system asking for now?" · Healing can have a social cost: if your "sick role" has been rewarded with attention, protection, or lowered expectations, getting better can feel threatening (even subconsciously). Resources Mentioned · Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker · The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk · Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno Connect with Michelle · Website: theupsideofbipolar.com · Free resource: Mood Cycle Survival Guide (available on her site) · Podcast + book links are also on her website.
JJ welcomes back Michelle Reittinger, author and host of The Upside of Bipolar, for a bold, hope-filled conversation that challenges common cultural narratives around bipolar disorder. Together, they unpack "myths" that can keep people stuck in fear and identity-based labels—and invite listeners into curiosity, root-cause investigation, and a more empowering view of symptoms, healing, and personal responsibility. In This Episode, We Cover · Michelle's story: diagnosed in 1998, years of intensive psychiatric treatment, polypharmacy, and a breaking point that became a turning point · Why a diagnosis can feel like an "answer," but often doesn't explain why symptoms started · The difference between a "cluster of symptoms" and an identified disease mechanism · Why curiosity (vs. shame) changes everything—especially with intense symptoms like rage, anxiety, and dissociation · The "detective" approach: identifying triggers, patterns, and underlying contributors · The role of foundational health (nutrients, sleep, nervous system regulation) in emotional resilience and symptom reduction · Why suppressed emotions can show up as anxiety, depression, physical pain, or crisis states · How identity, victimhood, and relationship dynamics can unconsciously reinforce staying stuck · A grounded reminder: do not abruptly stop medications—tapering/changes should be done slowly and safely with qualified support Notable Takeaways · Labels can reduce curiosity—and curiosity is often the doorway to change. · "Symptoms" are information; the goal is to explore what they're pointing to. · The most empowering question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What happened—and what is my system asking for now?" · Healing can have a social cost: if your "sick role" has been rewarded with attention, protection, or lowered expectations, getting better can feel threatening (even subconsciously). Resources Mentioned · Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker · The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk · Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno Connect with Michelle · Website: theupsideofbipolar.com · Free resource: Mood Cycle Survival Guide (available on her site) · Podcast + book links are also on her website.
JJ welcomes back Michelle Reittinger, author and host of The Upside of Bipolar, for a bold, hope-filled conversation that challenges common cultural narratives around bipolar disorder. Together, they unpack "myths" that can keep people stuck in fear and identity-based labels—and invite listeners into curiosity, root-cause investigation, and a more empowering view of symptoms, healing, and personal responsibility. In This Episode, We Cover · Michelle's story: diagnosed in 1998, years of intensive psychiatric treatment, polypharmacy, and a breaking point that became a turning point · Why a diagnosis can feel like an "answer," but often doesn't explain why symptoms started · The difference between a "cluster of symptoms" and an identified disease mechanism · Why curiosity (vs. shame) changes everything—especially with intense symptoms like rage, anxiety, and dissociation · The "detective" approach: identifying triggers, patterns, and underlying contributors · The role of foundational health (nutrients, sleep, nervous system regulation) in emotional resilience and symptom reduction · Why suppressed emotions can show up as anxiety, depression, physical pain, or crisis states · How identity, victimhood, and relationship dynamics can unconsciously reinforce staying stuck · A grounded reminder: do not abruptly stop medications—tapering/changes should be done slowly and safely with qualified support Notable Takeaways · Labels can reduce curiosity—and curiosity is often the doorway to change. · "Symptoms" are information; the goal is to explore what they're pointing to. · The most empowering question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What happened—and what is my system asking for now?" · Healing can have a social cost: if your "sick role" has been rewarded with attention, protection, or lowered expectations, getting better can feel threatening (even subconsciously). Resources Mentioned · Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker · The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk · Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno Connect with Michelle · Website: theupsideofbipolar.com · Free resource: Mood Cycle Survival Guide (available on her site) · Podcast + book links are also on her website.
JJ welcomes back Michelle Reittinger, author and host of The Upside of Bipolar, for a bold, hope-filled conversation that challenges common cultural narratives around bipolar disorder. Together, they unpack "myths" that can keep people stuck in fear and identity-based labels—and invite listeners into curiosity, root-cause investigation, and a more empowering view of symptoms, healing, and personal responsibility. In This Episode, We Cover · Michelle's story: diagnosed in 1998, years of intensive psychiatric treatment, polypharmacy, and a breaking point that became a turning point · Why a diagnosis can feel like an "answer," but often doesn't explain why symptoms started · The difference between a "cluster of symptoms" and an identified disease mechanism · Why curiosity (vs. shame) changes everything—especially with intense symptoms like rage, anxiety, and dissociation · The "detective" approach: identifying triggers, patterns, and underlying contributors · The role of foundational health (nutrients, sleep, nervous system regulation) in emotional resilience and symptom reduction · Why suppressed emotions can show up as anxiety, depression, physical pain, or crisis states · How identity, victimhood, and relationship dynamics can unconsciously reinforce staying stuck · A grounded reminder: do not abruptly stop medications—tapering/changes should be done slowly and safely with qualified support Notable Takeaways · Labels can reduce curiosity—and curiosity is often the doorway to change. · "Symptoms" are information; the goal is to explore what they're pointing to. · The most empowering question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What happened—and what is my system asking for now?" · Healing can have a social cost: if your "sick role" has been rewarded with attention, protection, or lowered expectations, getting better can feel threatening (even subconsciously). Resources Mentioned · Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker · The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk · Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno Connect with Michelle · Website: theupsideofbipolar.com · Free resource: Mood Cycle Survival Guide (available on her site) · Podcast + book links are also on her website.
Have you ever wondered why certain experiences stay with you long after the moment has passed, even when you try to move on?In this episode of A Life of Greatness, Sarah Grynberg sits down with Bessel van der Kolk, world-renowned psychiatrist, trauma researcher, and author of the groundbreaking book The Body Keeps the Score. A leading voice in understanding how trauma shapes the brain, body, and behaviour, Bessel shares decades of clinical insight into why trauma keeps people stuck and what it actually takes to heal.In this episode, you will learn:How trauma is defined and why it keeps people frozen in the pastWhy childhood trauma is far more common than most people realiseWhat repair really means in parenting and why predictability mattersHow therapies like EMDR and neurofeedback help rewire the brainThe role of the body, movement, and community in long-term healingWhy medication can help some people, but rarely creates true change on its ownThis episode is a powerful reminder that healing is possible, that the body can learn safety again, and that with the right support, people can return to who they truly are.Purchase tickets to Bessel's Australian tour in April 26' here: https://collections.humanitix.com/dr-bessel-van-der-kolk-livePurchase Sarah's book: Living A Life Of Greatness here.To purchase Living A Life of Greatness outside Australia here or here.Watch A Life of Greatness Episodes On Youtube here.Sign up for Sarah's newsletter (Greatness Guide) here.Purchase Sarah's Meditations here.Instagram: @sarahgrynberg Website: https://sarahgrynberg.com/Facebook: facebook.com/sarahgrynbergTwitter: twitter.com/sarahgrynberg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Depuis quelques décennies, la compréhension du traumatisme a profondément changé le champ des thérapies. Pour faire le point sur ce sujet si essentiel, j'ai l'honneur de recevoir Bessel Van der Kolk, un des pionniers du sujet, auteur de nombreux livres dont "Le corps n'oublie rien".Le livre de Bessel : https://www.lisez.com/livres/le-corps-noublie-rien/9782266300728Mon site : https://www.fabricemidal.comFacebook Fabrice Midal : https://www.facebook.com/FabriceMidalFacebook du podcast Dialogues : https://www.facebook.com/dialogues.fmInstagram Fabrice Midal : https://www.instagram.com/fabricemidalInstagram du podcast Dialogues : https://www.instagram.com/fabricemidal_dialogues/Tiktok : https://www.tiktok.com/@fabricemidalMes trois chaînes YouTube :Mes vidéos : https://www.youtube.com/@fabricemidal1Les Dialogues : https://www.youtube.com/@dialoguesfmLes méditations guidées : https://www.youtube.com/@mediteravecfabricemidalMes podcasts :Le podcast de Fabrice Midal (toutes mes vidéos en version audio) :
Over the last few decades, the understanding of trauma has changed the landscape of therapy. I'm honored to talk with Bessel Van der Kolk, one of the leaders of that movement.Le livre de Bessel : https://www.lisez.com/livres/le-corps-noublie-rien/9782266300728Mon site : https://www.fabricemidal.comFacebook Fabrice Midal : https://www.facebook.com/FabriceMidalFacebook du podcast Dialogues : https://www.facebook.com/dialogues.fmInstagram Fabrice Midal : https://www.instagram.com/fabricemidalInstagram du podcast Dialogues : https://www.instagram.com/fabricemidal_dialogues/Tiktok : https://www.tiktok.com/@fabricemidalMes trois chaînes YouTube :Mes vidéos : https://www.youtube.com/@fabricemidal1Les Dialogues : https://www.youtube.com/@dialoguesfmLes méditations guidées : https://www.youtube.com/@mediteravecfabricemidalMes podcasts :Le podcast de Fabrice Midal (toutes mes vidéos en version audio) :
Jeannie Mai, host, style icon, mother, and one of the most recognizable voices in daytime television, opens up about her early Bay Area life that shaped her long before the spotlight. From leaving home at 14 and surviving sexual abuse, to learning how to reinvent, and soften without losing her edge, Jeannie reflects on the cost of becoming who the world sees + the courage it took to become who she actually is. Now in a new chapter she calls 'becoming', Jeannie talks honestly about divorce from her former husband Jeezy, motherhood, co-parenting, faith, healing, and what it really means to rise from the ashes. In this episode, Jeannie shares: What she learned from navigating instability at a young age, and how it influenced her approach to love and healing The community of women that rallied around her during her toughest moment. How survival skills can quietly become limitations in adulthood The difference between intensity vs. intimacy (and how chaos can masquerade as love) How to recognize when you’re performing love instead of living it Why being single can be “the most prized piece of land you’ll ever inherit” Why divorce feels like “experiencing death alive” Why the end of love often marks the beginning of real self-work What “doing the work” actually looks like after divorce Why healing requires time alone, but not isolation The role of movement, strength, and progress in healingWhy not taking things personally is an emotional superpower Jeannie opens up about the labels people love to slap on women (“divorced,” “single,” “46,” “mom”) + why they’ll never tell the full story Why children don’t exist to heal us, but often reflect us The tearful moment her daughter mirrored back words Jeannie had only ever prayed silently How she loves to show up + surprise her friends How to redefine healthy love without closing yourself off How faith evolves when you stop asking and start listening Follow Jeannie on Instagram @thejeanniemai and on her YouTube. Book recommendation: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this Healing Heroines episode, Chandler sits down with award-winning health journalist and author Meghan Rabbitt to explore what it means to truly listen to your body in her new book, The New Rules of Women's Health: Your Guide to Thriving at Every Age. Meghan shares her experience navigating severe fibroids, anemia, and ultimately a hysterectomy. She reflects on the physical, emotional, and identity shifts that followed. Drawing from Meghan's reporting and lived experience, this conversation offers a clear-eyed look at healing that integrates medicine, self-trust, and the courage to slow down. What You Will Learn[00:07:30] How years of “powering through” symptoms can delay necessary medical intervention[00:10:00] What led Meghan to pursue multiple medical opinions before choosing surgery[00:12:30] Why hysterectomy decisions are highly individualized and not one-size-fits-all[00:16:30] How preparing emotionally and physically before surgery supported recovery[00:19:00] The role of community and shared experience in normalizing women's health challenges[00:26:00] Why deep rest and slowing down were critical parts of post-surgical healing[00:28:30] How somatic and energetic work helped process emotional healing after surgery[00:46:00] Why trusting intuition is essential when navigating women's health concernsResources MentionedThe New Rules of Women's Health by Meghan RabbittThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkTyrer-Cuzick Breast Cancer Risk Assessment ToolLet's Connect!Meghan RabbittWebsite | Instagram | LinkedInChandler StroudWebsite: https://healingheroespodcast.com/ Mixing, editing, and show notes provided by Next Day Podcast.
Does a traumatic childhood doom you to unhappiness and dysfunction? Meet Wendy Correa who overcame a horrific youth. Dreams were a key part of her recovery! Wendy’s debut book is memoir My Pretty Baby: Seeking Truth and Finding Healing. Wendy starts with a pivotal dream of a black jaguar which had her face then talks about how childhood trauma affects life-long mental health including addiction, depression, and even physical ailments like irritable bowel syndrome and heart disease. She says that 64% of people have experienced at least one of the ten traumas highlighted by the “ACE” scale which lists Adverse Childhood Experiences. She encourages listeners to google the ACEs quiz to start thinking about how trauma might be informing our own lives. She describes some of the modalities that were healing for her including meditation, psychotherapy, music, somatic practices saying “the issues are in the tissues.” Wendy describes the work by Bessel van der Kolk and his seminal book “The Body Keeps the Score.” After the break we talk about the dangers of toxic positivity and the art of learning “to suffer well” of which a pivotal component is forgiveness. She also mentions Whitney Goodman and Joan Didion. Here is a link to a short video clip of the conversation: The Full-Length video can be found here: BIO: Wendy B. Correa is a writer, yogi, hiker and public speaker. She has worked in film, music, and radio. She holds bachelor's degrees in psychology and theater arts. A wife and mother, she resides in Denver, Colorado. My Pretty Baby, an Amazon #1 Best Seller, is her debut book. WendyBCorrea.com This show, episode number 346, was recorded during a live broadcast on January 17, 2026 at KSQD.org, community radio of Santa Cruz. Here are links to other Dream Journal episodes you might be interested in: Meditation and Trauma Recovery with Edit B Kiss Post Traumatic Spiritual Growth with Linda Schiller Intro and outro music by Mood Science. Ambient music new every week by Rick Kleffel. Archived music can be found at Pandemiad.com. Many thanks to Rick for also engineering the show and to Erik Nelson for answering the phones. SHARE A DREAM FOR THE SHOW or a question or enquire about being a guest on the podcast by emailing Katherine Bell at katherine@ksqd.org. Follow on LI, IG, YT, FB, & LT @ExperientialDreamwork #thedreamjournal. To learn more or to inquire about exploring your own dreams go to ExperientialDreamwork.com. The Dream Journal aims to: Increase awareness of and appreciation for nightly dreams. Inspire dream sharing and other kinds of dream exploration as a way of adding depth and meaningfulness to lives and relationships. Improve society by the increased empathy, emotional balance, and sense of wonder which dream exploration invites. A dream can be meaningful even if you don’t know what it means. The Dream Journal is produced at and airs on KSQD Santa Cruz, 90.7 FM. Catch it streaming LIVE at KSQD.org 10-11am Pacific Time on Saturdays. Call or text with your dreams or questions at 831-900-5773 or email at onair@ksqd.org. Podcasts are available on all major podcast platforms the Monday following the live show. The complete KSQD Dream Journal podcast page can be found at ksqd.org/the-dream-journal/. Closed captioning is available on the YouTube version of this podcast and an automatically generated transcript is available at Apple Podcasts within 24 hours of posting. Thanks for being a Dream Journal listener! Available on all major podcast platforms. Rate it, review it, subscribe, and tell your friends.
Why do some incredibly successful people feel like failures? In this episode, Kristen and Mike break down The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy - a book Mike has read five times because it fundamentally changed how he measures success. They explore why so many high achievers are miserable despite their accomplishments, and introduce a simple mental shift that can transform how you experience progress in both your career and life. Through personal stories about new parenthood, aging parents, and their own leadership journeys, they show how measuring backward (from where you've come) instead of forward (toward an ever-moving horizon) creates genuine happiness and confidence. If you've ever felt like you're never doing enough, this conversation will help you see your wins differently.Highlights:The core idea: living in "the gap" (measuring yourself against an ideal) versus "the gain" (measuring yourself against where you started)The three daily wins practice and how it transforms your mindset, especially on the hardest daysWhy you should measure your progress backward from where you've been rather than forward toward an ever-moving horizonThe experience transformer journaling technique for reframing difficult situationsHow to define success on your own terms instead of letting external benchmarks determine your worthWhy satisfaction is fleeting when you achieve goals if you're always focused on the next milestoneAn honest critique of the book's oversimplified approach to traumaLife-changing takeaways: measuring from where you've come creates genuine happiness, and the daily wins practice has powerful impactLinks & Resources Mentioned:The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin HardyWho Not How by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy10x Is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin HardyThe Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigalRelentless by Tim Grover The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkPodcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.comInstagram: @loveleaderpodFollow us on LinkedIn!Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/ Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com
[Content Warning]: Child sexual abuse, mild language Today, Jan is again joined by Dr. Ute Liersch, a Chartered Counselling and Coaching Psychologist. In the second part of their conversation, Jan and Dr. Ute delve into the practicalities of healing. They discuss how to navigate major life decisions without the burden of hindsight, and Dr. Ute shares her powerful "Google Calendar" method for becoming your own witness. She reveals how volunteering in Sri Lanka after surviving cancer restored her smile and spirit. The dialogue emphasizes a body-first approach to trauma, explaining why we must listen to our body's language. They conclude by exploring how creative expression aids healing and the importance of "witnessing" over fixing, as Dr. Ute introduces her new book Minimalist Guide to Building Resilience. Buy Dr. Ute Liersch's Book: A Minimalist's Guide to Becoming Resilient Mentioned Resources: The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der KolkNational Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) : 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)National Alliance for Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264Subscribe / Support / Contact:
In this deeply healing and eye‑opening episode of the Finding God Podcast, Keana explores one of the most damaging yet common beliefs in Christianity: the idea that God's love must be earned. Many believers carry silent pressure to “perform” spiritually to pray enough, serve enough, behave well enough, or be perfect enough to feel worthy of God's love. But this belief doesn't come from God. It comes from people, trauma, culture, and distorted teachings that confuse performance with worthiness. In this episode, Keana breaks down: Why so many Christians feel like they must earn God's love How family systems, church culture, and trauma shape this belief The psychological impact of conditional love The spiritual damage caused by performance‑based religion Biblical examples of people who struggled with performance and those who rested in God's unconditional love How to recognize when you're performing for God instead of connecting with Him Five healing practices to help you break free from spiritual striving This episode is a gentle invitation to breathe, rest, and remember that God's love is not fragile, conditional, or dependent on your performance. You are loved because God is love not because you are perfect.
We've been told time heals all wounds. Go back to work. Stay busy. But what if decades of stress are still rewriting the body right now? Dr. Karestan Koenen, a Harvard researcher who has followed 100,000 women over twenty years, shares what she's discovered about how unaddressed trauma doesn't fade—it becomes biology. In this conversation, we explore why major disease studies have ignored trauma, how stalking affects women's heart health, and what epigenetics reveals about catching these changes early. In this episode you'll learn: [01:54] The Pattern No One Was Tracking: How clinical observation at the VA revealed PTSD and diabetes worsening together—before research proved it [04:04] Stalking and Heart Disease: Why women on the editorial board said "of course this is true" while men said "there's no way" [05:35] The Gap in Major Disease Studies: Why the cohorts that shaped our understanding of diet, exercise, and disease never measured trauma [11:27] How to Define Trauma: Uncontrollable, unpredictable, and overwhelming—and why the pandemic qualified [14:41] When Coping Mechanisms Take a Toll: How the adaptations that helped us survive can interfere with where we want to go [17:14] Resilience Redefined: Why you can have symptoms and still be making meaning—and why the person in front of you is always a survivor [23:58] Loss of Life Purpose: How retirement, death of a spouse, or role changes directly impact physical health and longevity [28:47] Time Doesn't Heal—It Becomes Biology: Why going back to work and staying busy doesn't make trauma fade [32:33] The Biology of Adversity Project: How epigenetics research may catch changes before chronic conditions develop [34:17] Somatic Practices Without the Story: The future of yoga, breathwork, and body-based approaches for resetting the nervous system Get the full episode breakdown at Biology of Trauma® Podcast - Episode 155: Time Doesn't Heal: What 20 Years of Research Actually Shows Resources/Guides: Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy Free Guide: How Trauma Shows Up in the Body & What To Do About It - Understand why your body responds this way. Learn what helps. Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 86: Is Trauma Genetic or Epigenetic? Insights with Dr. Bruce Lipton Episode 116: The Body Keeps Score: How Trauma Rewires Your Nervous System with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
[Content Warning]: Child sexual abuse, mild languageToday, Jan is joined by Dr. Ute Liersch, a Chartered Counselling and Coaching Psychologist. They begin by exploring how being labeled "stupid" in a rigid school system shaped Dr. Ute's early life and self-concept. They discuss the critical difference between experiencing victimhood and choosing victimization. Dr. Ute shares her philosophy of honoring the past, respecting the present, and being excited for the future. The conversation delves into reframing difficult emotions as vital data, understanding anger as a signal of injustice, and the necessity of compassion, curiosity, and courage to heal from trauma, toxic relationships, and life's inevitable hardships. Buy Dr. Ute Liersch's Book: A Minimalist's Guide to Becoming Resilient Mentioned Resources: The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) : 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)National Alliance for Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264Subscribe / Support / Contact:
“The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Anne Wallen to dive into the intricate relationship between maternal health, psychological preparation for parenting, and the impact of childhood trauma on parenting styles. Anne shares her personal journey as a maternal health professional and mother of six, emphasizing the importance of meeting a baby’s needs and the psychological aspects of parenting. What to listen for: Maternal health is crucial for every human being The psychological preparation for parenting is as important as physical preparation Trauma from childhood can affect parenting styles and decisions Meeting a baby’s needs is essential for their psychological development Self-awareness is key to breaking generational trauma cycles Understanding the impact of trauma can help in parenting “Unhealed wounds don't disappear when you become a parent; they show up.” Parenting activates old patterns you didn't even know were still there Triggers often come from your past, not your child's behavior Awareness gives you a pause between reaction and response Healing yourself reduces the chance of repeating the same cycles “Safety is the foundation of healthy development.” Feeling safe shapes the brain, nervous system, and emotional regulation. Consistent responsiveness teaches a child that they matter Emotional safety supports curiosity, confidence, and resilience A regulated parent creates a regulated environment About Anne Wallen Anne is a respected figure in women's health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care – particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women’s healthcare worldwide. https://www.maternitywise.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-wallen-08478035/ https://www.instagram.com/maternitywise/ Resources: Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.91)Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Anne Wellen. Anne, how you doing today? I’m good. I’m really excited to get into this. I think this is going to be a different conversation than what we typically have, but we were just talking and talking and at one point you’re like, you’re not recording? I’m like, no, let’s start this now. Anne Wallen (00:10.602)I’m good, how are you? Nick McGowan (00:25.614)So this will be great. And why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. Anne Wallen (00:34.382)Okay, well, I am the director of Maternity Wise International, which what we do is we train doulas and childbirth educators and lactation support people. I’ve been doing this for 23, 24 years now, and it’s pretty much my life. I love maternal health. It’s so, important to every human on this planet. And maybe the… An interesting factoid about me is that I have six kids. A lot of people, when you tell them you have six kids, they’re like, my gosh. And yes, I birthed them all. But five of them are adults. I have a little nine-year-old as well. She was a surprise, like the best kind of surprise. But yeah, so my six kids and yes, that’s really the main reason why I got into the work that I got into when I had my first at 17. and didn’t feel like I could be the mom that she deserved, loved her so, so, so much. And I had some family friends that I grew up with who actually babysat me who had been struggling with fertility issues. And so I chose to let them adopt her. And we have had an amazing, beautiful extended family relationship. And she recently gave birth to her first daughter just this summer. So I am officially a grandma in addition to all the other things that I do, but Yeah, that’s a little factoid that most people don’t know. But she’s part of the reason she’s the main reason why I became a mental health professional or a maternal health professional. And a lot of the way things have gone through my life, not just how I was raised, but experiences thereafter have gotten me very interested in mental health. And so I like to kind of create this intersection between the both worlds. And I look at things from a very psychological perspective. So this is This is gonna be a fun one. Nick McGowan (02:29.229)Yeah, I think everything ties back into that. It’s not even just a physical thing. Like I even said to you, somebody has a baby and they go home and how their partner reacts to whatever’s going on or the chaos or whatever the thing is, how does that then tie into the baby and how does the baby move throughout life? Even with you having a kid at 17, you are a child at 17. Though I’m sure we can both think back to 17 years old and thinking I’m grown ass adult and I can do all the things in the world, but you are not. You’re a child. Anne Wallen (02:50.412)Hmm. Nick McGowan (02:59.039)And the fact that you had somebody that you could hand the baby over to that you knew, you trusted, and you were able to have a relationship, it sounds like that could almost be like an ABC sitcom, you know what I mean? Anne Wallen (03:05.325)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (03:13.356)Yeah, well, I mean, my life is, I always joke that, like, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But I always joke that, you know, Hallmark probably wouldn’t agree to make a movie because my life is so far-fetched. But yes, that’s, that was such a, such a blessing because I really knew that I was not going to be able to do what she needed as far as mothering. And I’ve, you know, hadn’t even finished high school yet. And my wonderful, wonderful and she was my next door neighbor growing up. And I just knew that they were the right people to take care of her and they raised her and she’s an amazing human being. And it’s just really wonderful to have this open relationship at this point, especially, you know, now that she’s having babies of her own. it was really cool too during COVID. She took one of my doula trainings because she was going to be a doula for a friend of hers. So Just a really cool, you know, like sometimes things just come full circle and you just, little blessings, little surprises. So. Nick McGowan (04:22.764)And you wouldn’t have been able to script that. Like, I love when that stuff happens in life where it’s like, I’m gonna have a baby, hand it over to my neighbor, because I love them. And then years later, like, really? Somebody would be like, that’s crazy. Get out of my office, you know? Anne Wallen (04:24.863)No! Anne Wallen (04:37.355)Yeah, well, I I knew that I didn’t, I knew that I probably wouldn’t be okay with just never knowing. know, some moms, and I’ve supported moms as their doula through giving their baby away. I’ve supported adopting families as well. it’s, I am really, really fortunate because I don’t think that most people could go through that experience and it would be, I mean, Don’t get me wrong, it was heartbreaking. It’s still heartbreaking that I wasn’t able to raise her myself. I mean, I’ve had five other kids since then and I know what it is to be a mom and I know what things I’ve missed out on. But being able to have an open adoption is really, really something special and I know some people don’t have that option. And so to be able to give your baby to someone that you think that you can trust and then hope that they’re doing what you would want them to do. That’s a whole level of, yeah, that’s tough, that’s hard. So, yeah. Nick McGowan (05:43.52)could only imagine. I have no idea what that would be like. I don’t have kids, not gonna have kids. And I couldn’t imagine what that’s like just handing a child over. I’ve talked to different people that have had either abortions or they’ve adopted, they’ve handed kids off to be adopted and then just haven’t ever talked to them again or people that have had some kid that are like, hey, by the way, about 30 years ago, you and my mom on a beach. And here we are, we’re like, you and my mom at a party or whatever. It’s like, but I, one of the big reason why I wanted to have you on is to be able to talk about how the psychology of that ties into not just people that have kids, but people that were kids. Cause even your emails back in the conversations, you were like, yeah, everybody was born. And then what we do from there and how that all ties into it. So why don’t, why don’t you kind of get us started off with like, not only what you see with, people that are having kids. but also the people that are concerned about having children and what that ties into just the rest of life. Anne Wallen (06:53.121)Well, kind of as we were talking about before we started recording, getting ready for having a baby, well, having a baby, you really need to put in the work, you need to prepare. And it’s not just about eating the right foods or avoiding the wrong foods and getting enough water and whatever else. There’s a lot of psychological preparation that people need to do. And we all walk around with our own traumas. We all walk around with our own disappointments and wounds. you’re gonna carry that into your parenting. And if there is one situation that you’re gonna find yourself in as kind of just this automatic robot, it’s as a parent. You don’t realize all these scripts and all this just unprepared, you know, in the moment reactions that you’re going to have to your own child until you’re there. And then you’re like, Nick McGowan (07:26.218)Hmm. Anne Wallen (07:52.961)I sound just like my mom or my dad used to say that and I still sometimes even you know I’m on kid number six at this point she’s nine and I still will say things you know two wrongs don’t make her right or whatever little sayings that you grow up with and I realize wow I got that from this scenario or I learned that during this moment when I got in trouble or whatever and it can it can really make a difference Nick McGowan (07:54.515)Ha ha. Anne Wallen (08:22.669)being aware and intentional with your parenting. And when I say aware, I just mean if you’ve got wounds or if you’ve got trauma or if your parents were abusive, if there was something else going on, you know, in those immediate, the first weeks, months of your life, it is really, really important to meet that baby’s needs immediately or as quickly as possible, right? So, There are things like crying it out. There are things like scheduled feeds. And they’re actually, we’re not just talking about a physical experience that this baby’s going through. It’s a psychological experience. And so we can get deeper into that if you want to, but a lot of people, they’ll hear from their parents when they become parents, they’ll hear things like, put the baby down, don’t spoil that baby. Or, they should be sleeping all night and they should be doing this or they should be doing that. You know, we let that baby cry it out. We gave you formula. You turned out fine. Whatever it is, right? Whatever this thing is that might be the response to whatever the parents are wanting to do. You know, the grandparents and well-meaning aunts and uncles, they’ll have some retort usually, right? And advice from your elders is always helpful. And having, just having elders around to… support your efforts is beautiful and helpful, but sometimes they don’t know what’s best for your baby. And the only person who really knows what’s best for the baby is the parent, especially the parent who’s bonded to the baby. Usually that’s the mom when they’re really, really small. And that’s usually because there’s breastfeeding going on or whatever it is, the main caretaking duties usually falls to the mother. So if that mother is well attuned to the baby, baby’s getting their needs met, this is teaching the baby that they can trust, right? It’s teaching the baby about relationships. It’s teaching the baby that I’m valuable. I am worth listening to. I am protected. I’m safe. All these different things, right? If you’ve got a baby who is routinely put down after, you fed for 15 minutes, now we put you down. You cry? Too bad, baby. We read the book that said, Anne Wallen (10:47.18)put you down, right? Or we heard from grandpa that said put you down, whatever it is. That baby crying so desperately, that’s their only way to communicate that they have a need. So if they’re crying so desperately, I’m still hungry, I’m cold, I just want to be held, I’m scared, I’m alone, whatever it is, I have gas pains, whatever it is, they’re trying to communicate that they have a need. And if we ignore that, if we say, no, I’m going to spoil the child if I pick them up again. This is programming their brain, right? This is programming their mind to say, no matter how hard I cry, I’m going to be ignored. What does that, for you, Nick, what does that translate to? What does that, what would that tell you? Nick McGowan (11:17.928)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (11:31.148)Trauma as a little kid, you’re just instantly, you’re shoved to the side it feels. And that’s, I think that’s an interesting thing to be able to point out, because look, babies are not gonna listen to this podcast. They will when they get older, but like they’re not listening right now. In fact, none of these episodes are for children at all, primarily because of my mouth at times, I’m sure. But the parents, or the new parents, or the people that are thinking about having kids. Anne Wallen (11:34.102)Yeah. Nick McGowan (11:58.088)or the people that feel like they have to have kids because the system tells them, their family system, you have to, which that’s another thing that ties into the psychology of it. Like if somebody says, you, hey, you have to have a kid because you have to keep our lineage going. You have to keep our last name going. You have to do this. You have to do that. okay. And then they go and have the kid and then put everything onto that kid or there’s already some pain that goes along with it. I think the big thing you pointed out that stood out to me and especially for the show, Anne Wallen (12:01.015)Mm. Anne Wallen (12:14.614)Hmm. Nick McGowan (12:27.61)is the work that has to be done before that. I’ve talked to different people that have had kids and they’re like, hey, we planned. We did all these things. We read all these books. We then got pregnant when we wanted to and shit was still crazy because they’re parents and like life and people and like things happen. And then there are people that just accidentally had a child and you know, it’s all, it doesn’t matter if you plan it or not plan it, it seems, but going into a big situation of having a child and Anne Wallen (12:30.572)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (12:57.552)sticking it through for at least 18 years or so, it doesn’t seem to me like a lot of people really think about the work they need to do until like after the fact. Like I met with somebody recently who’s got a young kid and he was offered to go on tour with some band and he was like, I can’t because I am attached and I can’t leave my child. And I can see that he’s such a good dad. But he had said to me, like, things changed as soon as I had the kid, as soon as the kid came into my life. And I hear that from a lot of different people. Like as soon as this happened, then I changed. I stopped smoking or I stopped doing this or I started doing more of whatever it was. And that’s great. But what about the deeper work that’s unseen? Like the trauma that comes from your parents or your parents’ parents or the things that happened that you were a kid that was just crying because you wanted to be held and your parents are like, I can’t. Shut up in there. How does that then tie into we as people that could potentially then have kids and not see that stuff needs to be worked on? Anne Wallen (13:54.688)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (14:05.161)Yeah, so having a baby is a great motivator for lifestyle changes, right? So if you are, if you have unhealthy habits, having your baby might make you think about your mortality and how, you need to eat better or stop smoking or whatever it is so that you can live longer so you can be there for your child. When you are going through pregnancy, even, you know, no matter what the family dynamic, mom, mom, mom, dad, whatever you’ve got going on. both partners, or even if you’ve got a single mom going on, the person who is in the relationship thinking about when this baby gets here, what are we gonna do? The kind of deeper work that they really need to be doing includes psychological preparation for just how they feel about themselves, number one, just simply because whether they feel worthy, whether they feel rejected by their parents, if there’s any kind of abandonment issues, Which abandonment issues start with, you know, crying it out in the crib? We, let me go, can I get a little sciency with you for just a second on that? So, crying it out, they’ve actually done brain scans and they see that crying it out creates a change in the brain structure. So our frontal lobe is the solutions, you know, forward thinking we call it, right? The creative, ambitious forebrain. The hindbrain is the survival primal, Nick McGowan (15:10.31)Please. Anne Wallen (15:30.955)aggressive, it’s the hunter-gatherer brain. And when you have a baby who is, who their needs are met consistently, their forebrain grows and their hindbrain does not grow. Not that it doesn’t grow, but it doesn’t, the balance is more forward-thinker, right? A baby who is left to cry it out, a baby whose needs are not met consistently. And that’s this, we’re not talking about a baby who has like just a crying spell and we put the baby down. for safety’s sake, you know, and we walk away so could take a breath and then we come back, you know, we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about a routinely left to cry baby. That hind brain actually grows and the forebrain can shrink. So now you’ve got a kid who’s got the more aggressive, primal survival skills, more violence prone, more prone to, you know, ADD and some other issues that are, you know, really all about them feeling that they need to survive, right? It’s just such primal, instinctual behavior. So now you have a kid who physically, chemically is growing up with this need to survive, this like fear, right? It’s like I’m on alert, I’m hypervigilant all the time. Now you make them a parent, right? They go through life and they probably have Nick McGowan (16:55.877)Hmph. Anne Wallen (16:58.187)plenty of issues, right, because of that hypervigilance, because of that, you know, fear that’s kind of like their root chakras in like a high alert mode all the time. So you get into this parenting situation, you’ve got a baby coming, right? You need to be able to say, I’m okay, I can advocate for my needs, I can prepare for the birth experience itself, because the birth experience could be traumatizing. And then, how am gonna care for this baby once it’s out, knowing that, or subconsciously, knowing that they were treated with a neglectful-ish, not that parents always are neglectful intentionally, but they don’t always know that the baby is just trying to communicate. And there’s a lot of, we’re not gonna go religion, but there’s a lot of religious. Nick McGowan (17:47.951)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (17:54.09)books out there on parenting that talk about babies, you know, being manipulators and things like that. You got to train them to be good, right? Which is ridiculous. anyway, that in itself is traumatizing just to just to read that if I was a, know. Yes. Yeah. Nick McGowan (18:09.252)Yeah, basically calling your baby a little demon. Don’t you do it little demon. It’s like, I just want some love. I don’t understand. Anne Wallen (18:17.267)Honestly, and there are books out there that have caused babies to become really, really, really sick and even pass away because they’re telling parents, like, you need to have this regimented feeding schedule and you shouldn’t be holding your baby, etc. And, you know, the abandonment issue is huge in our culture. If you go to other places in the world, you’re not going to see people with abandonment issues quite like you do in America. But in America, we have the Juvenile Manufacturing Association who really, really promoted getting babies out of your bed and using all these furniture pieces, right, for baby swings and cribs and, you know, bouncy seats and all these things that are not the mother, not the parent. And the only thing that a really a baby wants when they come out is that relationship. They are looking for a face when they come out. They’re looking for a face and if they don’t get a face to connect to, they’re three months behind in their developmental milestones on average. So the face, the connection with another human being is so important. It’s so important just to their brain development. It’s important to their psychological development. And it’s really important for the parents’ development too because when you create this bond, There’s something in you that softens. And even if you’ve had a ton of trauma, it’s like this little, I don’t know, it’s like this little knowing wakes up inside of you. And you just know, this instinct just shows up and kind of helps guide you in how to meet the baby’s needs in a way that’s healthy and appropriate for the baby. And a lot of times when you look at and you study mom-baby dyads, there’s this, unspoken language between them, right? It happens during sleep. Dr. James McKenna wrote a bunch of different studies over the last 20 to 30 years on watching moms and babies sleep. And when babies, know, vitals go too low, mom stirs and sometimes they even wake up and touch the baby and the baby perks back up again. It’s very SIDS preventive, you know? So like, Nick McGowan (20:41.197)Hmm. Anne Wallen (20:42.58)there’s these things that we have these superpower abilities to connect with other human beings and we don’t even realize it. And the thing that oftentimes gets in the way of that is trauma, other people’s well-meaning but bad advice. And how do we like get ready for all of that? So that’s where pregnancy, thank goodness we have nine months. to get ready for when the baby comes, right? We have nine months to work through our core hurts and figure out how did our parents’ parenting style affect us? And do we want to repeat that or do we want to have a different parenting style, right? And what is best for a baby? And a lot of times, you know, when you just read mainstream information, you know, there’s some real… Nick McGowan (21:10.945)Hahaha Anne Wallen (21:37.873)Sorry, Nick, I know you’re a man, but there are some masculine solutions or frameworks for very feminine processes and that’s not always the best way to go, right? And you can say your baby needs to eat every three hours. We wanna keep baby alive, right? So we’re gonna make sure baby eats every three hours. But what if baby’s hungry before that? You can’t make them wait. Hunger is one of those things that psychologically, if you are left to be hungry, Nick McGowan (21:48.419)Does it make sense? Anne Wallen (22:08.154)It actually causes so much stress on the body. Adrenaline goes up, cortisol goes up, like all these things, chemical reactions that really are trauma reactions. If you look at it that way, they happen in the body when you’re left to be hungry. So just something as simple as the baby needs to be fed can cause lifelong impairments, psychologically speaking. Nick McGowan (22:36.93)I think something to point out here for people that are listening to this, and if you’re about to have a kid, don’t let her scare you off the ledge. Like go do it because it seems like, look, no matter what happens, people are going to make the decisions they’re going to make. But I think the biggest thing you pointed out is the human aspect of it. That the mom or the parents just in general that are connected with their children can feel that, can be connected with their kids. Anne Wallen (22:39.22)Yeah. Anne Wallen (22:46.419)No! Anne Wallen (22:55.732)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:02.664)Yes. Nick McGowan (23:05.474)The fact that you pointed out like, well, capitalistic society was like, how do we make money off this? Well, we want to get the kid out of the bed. We can get them into a whole plethora of their own little suite over here and we can make a whole bunch of money and we might as well push this thing. There’s information that comes from the external world like that. Like, oh, well, baby shouldn’t be in your bed for longer than X amount of time. We should have a crib and like all people have that stuff basically when they have their shower at this point and they get it and they… Anne Wallen (23:17.962)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (23:35.381)have like three to $10,000 worth of stuff that just sitting in there for the baby, when the baby probably needs to be deeply connected with them, but every baby is different. And it’s wild to think about how those systems, the family system that tells us, well, when you were a kid, this is what we did. You made the decisions you made. And that’s to be said that way. But then the other systems that say, you need to have this, you need to have that, you need to have that. Anne Wallen (23:47.092)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:57.15)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (24:05.024)themselves to block all that madness out. Like, thanks for your feedback, grandma. Thanks for your feedback, Capitalistic Society. That person needs to be so deeply entwined with themselves and to understand about themselves. So based on the research you’ve done or the information that you’ve seen, how many people are actually doing that deeper work? Like, hey, I’m pregnant now. I wonder how fucked I was as a child based on the dumb things that happened. How do I not deliver that onto this child? Anne Wallen (24:10.814)Yeah. Nick McGowan (24:33.963)how many people are actually doing that work? Or is that part of the reason why we’re having the conversation? Because more people need to have that internal conversation. Anne Wallen (24:41.096)We really need our society, especially in America, to be doing that work more. Because a lot of people are just, like I was saying before, you’re kind of in this automatic robot mode. If you don’t do the work and you don’t have any kind of self-awareness, you’re just gonna do the things that you don’t even realize you learned to do. So like as an infant, even though you’re not sitting there taking notes on how your parents are parenting you, you’re learning how to be a parent by experiencing their parenting. And if you look around, we have a lot of entitled people walking around and a lot of broken people walking around who are really just living out their traumas and trauma reactions day to day, rather than looking at them, understanding that that’s what it is. You know, it took me till I was in my 40s to even understand what narcissistic abuse was, because it felt so familiar. Walking around the planet, being raised by someone who was narcissistically abusive. Now back then, 50 years ago, they didn’t have those words, right? But a lot of people have experienced that and they don’t know what it is. And they’re kind of, you know, either perpetuating it as the narcissist in their relationship or continuing to be used by the narcissist for their supply, right? And this is such a hot button, like, I don’t know, like a really popular terminology nowadays and everyone’s gonna, you know, everyone walks around kind of saying, I know a narcissist or that guy’s a narcissist or whatever, right? So it’s word that gets thrown around a lot. But the deeper issue is when you are not cared for, Nick McGowan (26:12.609)Hmm. Anne Wallen (26:36.859)in a way that shows you that you’re valuable, right? Then you grow up trying to prove to yourself how valuable you are, your whole life. And so that’s gonna put you into two camps. You’re either gonna be more like a narcissist, right? Trying to get source from people, trying to get that love and acceptance and to prove yourself worthy, right? Or you’re gonna become more of the enabler, more of the empath type. Nick McGowan (26:57.066)Yeah. Anne Wallen (27:05.925)Sometimes it’s just how we’re wired when we’re born, but a lot of it’s learned, right? And so you walk around trying to fix everybody else, trying to pre, what’s the word I’m looking for? Like you’re anticipating what they need, right? And you’re jumping in and taking care of everybody else. And neither one of those makes a good parent. So when you have a kid, you’re going to… Please don’t get me wrong, public, okay? Not all babies are coming out as narcissists, but all babies do come out needing someone to meet their needs. And so they look like little narcissists, right? Because they’re calling out, they’re crying, you you have to do everything for them. And as they’re growing, you’re trying to boost their self, right? And if you have additional kids around between age two and three, that’s a huge hit to the self-esteem of the toddler. You know, so then you’re trying to like fix that and soothe that and so there’s this whole chain of events that happens between zero and about seven, eight years old. And there’s ways to feed the little narcissist monster that you might be growing or there’s ways to help the child become self-sufficient and self… Nick McGowan (28:03.466)Yeah. Anne Wallen (28:31.529)self-aware, but also, you know, like help them to develop empathy and help them to develop compassion for others. But a lot of this is not by word. It’s in modeling. And again, we go back to if you haven’t dealt with your shit before you have your baby, it’s going to walk around showing your child how to not be a grownup, but they’re not going to know the difference. Nick McGowan (28:51.529)Yeah. Nick McGowan (28:58.527)And just keep going. Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:00.167)Right, and so even though trauma can be passed on from DNA, right, and it can be passed on cellularly, right, but it’s also passed on just by modeling. Modeling what that reactivity looks like, modeling what that unhealed wound looks like. So, go ahead. Nick McGowan (29:16.329)Yeah. Well, it’s interesting with how the, think about often how the body keeps the score. Bessel van der Kerk wrote about that and there are other people that say, I don’t agree with it and that’s fine. You can say whatever you want. I’ve experienced it. I’ve experienced what it’s like to be able to have bodily reactions at things when my mind’s going, the fuck are you doing? Like, what is this? And it’s like, that ties back literally to my mom as I was a little kid. Anne Wallen (29:24.349)Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:39.315)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (29:45.596)and watching and going, she seems to fly off the handle of things. Note to self, guess that’s how it’s done. Cool, that’s what I’m gonna do. And then you learn later and you’re like, no, that’s not it. she was coming from generational trauma and chaos and wondering how do I pay for this thing? And what the fuck are you crying about? And what’s this? And sometimes that would come out of her mouth. Like, the fuck are you crying about? To go, I don’t know. And maybe she’s just overwhelmed. So even pointing out that people will look. Anne Wallen (29:51.922)Right? Anne Wallen (29:58.568)Hmm. Anne Wallen (30:09.831)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (30:11.727)and say like, yeah, a lot of people are calling people narcissists at this point because it’s like they learned a new word and they go, well, this looks similar. I’m glad that you’re pointing out that it’s actually deeper and not exactly the same thing at all, but sure, there are tendencies to it. Like the babies need us. Aren’t we like the only organisms that really do that though? Like all other mammals basically are like, cool, you’re born, go get it, have at it. And we need people. Anne Wallen (30:26.728)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (30:38.844)Yeah. Nick McGowan (30:41.606)And those people also need the babies because of that connection. It’s wild to think about how things that’ll happen just on a day to day that a parent might think, I was just a little upset or a little cold or whatever, that could change so much with that child. And especially in the formative years. I learned a handful of years ago about a theory called the subconscious winning strategy. that we develop a strategy as a child to go, oh, note to self, this is how I win. This is how I get love. Like my core wounding personally is to not be abandoned or unloved. That comes from being a child. So I figured out, oh, I can make people laugh and I can do these different things that then show up in a certain way. And I learned that about myself, I don’t know, at 38 years old and was like, oh my God, my entire life I’ve been doing this because it just deeply ingrained in us. Anne Wallen (31:15.784)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (31:36.914)Hmm. Nick McGowan (31:39.891)You pointed out self-awareness. That’s one of the biggest things I’ve noticed in every single episode I’ve had on this show, every conversation I’ve had that’s peripheral to the show. If you’re aware of something, you can only then become more aware of it as you’re more aware of it. But you can also push things to the side. I’ve watched parents go, I can’t. I’ve had friends that are parents that they’re like, man, some nights I just fucking can’t even. Anything. Like everybody needs to leave me alone and I just need to stare at the ceiling for a little while. or they dive into some vice, alcohol or something else. So what advice do you have for people that are trying to figure out, I either have a kid and I need to and want to be a better parent, or we’re thinking about having kids, or I’m still kind of reeling from being a kid, and how do they then work through their stuff? Anne Wallen (32:33.106)So I think you could, you know. Anne Wallen (32:39.752)I’m hearing some interference. Are we still together? Nick McGowan (32:42.974)We’re good. Anne Wallen (32:45.128)Okay, this could go off on so many, you’re like the tree trunk just now and there’s so many branches and things that we could just go into off of that. I think one of the things that you have to understand is that narcissism, for example, is a spectrum, right? And so, one end is kind of it’s a healthy self-awareness, self-love, self-protecting, self-serving, right? The other end is where you’re using people in a malignant way. Now, a newborn, I always make jokes with my students, like the newborns don’t read the books, right? They don’t know what the parents think that they’re supposed to be doing. But when they are little and they’re trying to communicate, right? We can, if we’re cold, for example, we can go and manipulate the thermostat, right, to make it whatever we want. If we’re hungry, we go and manipulate the refrigerator door and get a snack. Babies can’t do those things, so they’re not manipulators, right? But what they are is desperately trying to communicate with us, and we have to put aside, and you see many a mom who’s had sleepless nights, dads too, Nick McGowan (33:41.842)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (34:04.029)where they’re just doing whatever it is that the baby seems to be needing and it might just be an overnight, know, shit fast story. You’re just, nobody’s getting sleep, everybody’s crying, like everybody’s crying. And you just have to get through it, right? But the fact that you are trying, the fact that you haven’t just put the baby away and said, I can’t do this anymore, you know, good luck kid, right? The fact that they’re not doing that, Nick McGowan (34:30.332)You Anne Wallen (34:33.224)the baby and informs the baby, I am worth trying for. And so even if they aren’t fixing it, I can see they’re trying. Right? Now, do you need to step away? Do you need to be able to eat, you know, shower, take a crap by yourself? Yeah, of course. Right? And you need to be able to take care of yourself in order to take care of somebody else. And you need to be able to set boundaries and say, you know, Nick McGowan (34:37.445)Hmm. Anne Wallen (35:02.464)I am, and we talked a little bit about personality types before, but I’m an introvert, right? And when you’re looking at the Myers-Briggs, introverts need time alone, away from everybody, away from touch, away from sound in order to rebuild their battery. Extroverts, they need other people to recharge their battery. And so if you’ve got babies who are almost all extroverts in that Nick McGowan (35:15.846)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (35:30.638)stage of their life. They need somebody else for something at all times usually. And you’ve got an introvert parent who’s like, I am all tapped out. I’m in the negative. Like kid, I can’t help you right now. I cannot do anything right now. I need to go, you know, just take a bath or something in silence. Everyone leave me alone. Knowing that about yourself and knowing that this whole scenario is going to change. Because before baby came, You probably had self-care mechanisms or habits or whatever in place that you can say like, okay, I am drained. I went to that party. I’ve been at work all day. I need to just have like an evening of quiet. Well, when you have a baby, there’s no such thing. So being able to plan ahead for stuff like that, knowing yourself, being self-aware enough to say, I know what my needs are in a general way, putting a person into this know, sphere of my everyday life, what do I need to do to keep myself sane while still caring for the needs of this other human being? And being able to build some kind of structure around that. It could be, do I need to live closer to my parents so my parents can help me? Does it mean I need to hire a postpartum doula or a nanny or somebody that’s gonna be able to help take care of the child so that I can take care of me? You know, just, and that’s not selfish. That’s not being a bad parent saying, well, I can’t always meet the baby’s needs 100 % of the time. Who can? Like we have this really unrealistic expectation, this leave it to be for mom mindset, right? Where it’s like, she’s just gonna do everything. She somehow wakes up with makeup on, with her clothes pressed and you know, like she never spent any time on that, right? Well, that’s kind of what we’re expected to do as parents is we’re expected to just be up and ready for the world and ready to take care of this baby 100 % without having any kind of prep or any kind of get ready time? No, that’s not how it really works. But then you have that expectation which makes people then feel like they’re failing. And that’s not fair either. That’s where if you look at postpartum depression, it has gone up and gone up and gone up and it’s in its highest Anne Wallen (37:57.818)in places where, or in family dynamics where nobody’s getting sleep, you know, there’s sleep deprivation going on and there’s no social support. And those are the two key factors. And a third key factor is babies who cry a lot. And babies don’t just cry a lot. So if you know how to meet your baby’s needs, you can understand your baby’s language, if you can anticipate their needs and just kind of, you know, Nick McGowan (38:04.699)Hmm. Anne Wallen (38:27.781)Be prepared as we just keep, I keep saying preparation, preparation, right? But being prepared and understanding what does this cry sound mean? Does it mean hungry? Does it mean pain? Does it mean sleepy, right? What do these cry sounds mean? And then being able to appropriately respond to the baby’s needs and making sure that the baby’s needs are met quickly. These all feed into a satisfied, healthy, happy baby, which, creates calm, satisfied, happy, healthy family, right? And then if you are dealing with trauma triggers where maybe the baby crying is a trauma trigger for you, right? And you haven’t figured out what this baby’s need is, you’re gonna be spiraling and that spiral’s gonna, you’re gonna have anxiety, you’re have the depression, you might even develop other issues. And let me just say one really quick little piece. Nick McGowan (39:08.922)Yeah. Anne Wallen (39:26.823)The news a lot of times says, you know, when a mom kills her babies, right? The news will a lot of times say, oh, she had postpartum depression. That’s not postpartum depression, that’s postpartum psychosis. So postpartum depression and anxiety and OCD and all these other different kinds of mental health disorders, they can turn into psychosis. But psychosis is when you have suspended the connection to reality in such a way that you would do that heinous act, right? And why does it get to that point? Because we’re not getting enough sleep, we’re not supporting our families, not, you know, we’re not like creating this wrap around care for families. And dads need it too, you know, like we think, mom’s got postpartum depression. Dads get postpartum depression too. Nick McGowan (40:09.091)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:22.797)sleep deprivation will do it to anybody. You don’t even have to have a baby. You sleep deprived somebody for long enough and they’re gonna experience depression and anxiety. And so being aware, preparing for having that help afterward, understanding what is it that your personal wounding might look like and how might that affect the way you’re gonna care for your baby. So for example, you mentioned abandonment. A lot of people have… Nick McGowan (40:30.456)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:49.807)abandonment issues because of the whole put your baby to cry it out in the bed philosophy that was taught for a long time. It’s not taught anymore, shouldn’t be taught anymore, we know better now. But there’s a lot of adults walking around that that was the way they did it and they’re gonna hear from their mom and dad and everyone, you know, that’s how you should do it. So it feels really unnatural for a reason. Nick McGowan (40:54.585)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (41:09.026)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (41:14.435)It’s that little instinct, that little knowing that awakens in us when we have a baby that tells us, no, that’s not okay. My baby needs me, my baby. That sound is really grating on me. Why? Because it’s meant for us to do something about it. And so being able to look at, there’s a tool that I sometimes will use, it’s called the self-redemption cycle. Nick McGowan (41:27.543)Yeah. Anne Wallen (41:39.705)And you’re really, it’s like this little circle, right? It informs who you are. It informs yourself about who you are. But it takes the core hurt. Have you ever heard of this? So it takes the core hurt and then it looks at what emotions are drawn from that core hurt. And then it says, what are you seeking? What do those emotions tell you about what you’re seeking? And then what kind of behaviors are you gonna do to meet the thing or find the thing that you’re seeking? And then a lot of times those are unhealthy behaviors too. Nick McGowan (41:57.016)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:08.398)So then you create a new core hurt for yourself, only to do it all over again. And so it’s important for us to really be aware of what are the triggers, right? What are the things that make us feel abandoned or unloved or whatever our thing is, right? And then be able to work through those things because first of all, going into a birth situation, Nick McGowan (42:08.546)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:36.91)You have to advocate for yourself. You have to be able to speak for yourself. You have to be informed enough because we live in a profit driven medical society and you cannot, it’s not that you can’t trust doctors as individuals, but you can’t trust the system to have your back. The system is not built to your wellness. The system is to profit and wellness doesn’t bring profit. And so, Nick McGowan (42:55.81)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (43:06.616)You have, you know, a whole system that I don’t want to say is like designed against you, but you have to be wise going into that. If you’re going to have your baby in a hospital, which not everybody’s having babies in hospitals, I’ve had three at home myself, but if you are going to go into a hospital, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into. You have to know how to handle it. And it’s not the time to be defending yourself or standing up for yourself. you have to feel so safe to be vulnerable, to be able to open your body to let your baby out. And if you don’t, your labor will be dysfunctional. And that psychological piece, which is, I was saying before, like 80 to 85 % of your whole birth experience, it’s not physical. Physically, we breathe, we digest our food, we use the bathroom. We don’t need anybody to coach us how to do those things. We don’t need to read books on how to do those things. Our bodies know how to do it. And it’s the same way with birth. Our bodies know how to give birth. But there’s safety mechanisms built into the process, survival mechanisms. And one of those survival mechanisms is, is it safe out there? Is it safe for the baby who’s super, super vulnerable? Like you said, you know, we’re the only species that’s like, our baby comes out and they are completely and utterly dependent upon us for everything. Nick McGowan (44:30.444)Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:32.068)And so if our subconscious says, it’s not safe for that little vulnerable person to come out, it will shut down labor. And you can give it all the drugs you want. You can give it all the pitocin you want. It’s not gonna receive it. Your brain’s gonna shut down those pitocin receptors and say, nope, it’s not safe out there. She doesn’t like the doctor. Or the lights are too bright. Or yeah, or whatever the reason that’s triggering her. Nick McGowan (44:51.03)Politics. Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:58.884)you know, making her feel unsafe. And it could just be there’s a male doctor and she doesn’t feel comfortable around males in that way, right? And so it could be all kinds of things. As a doula and as a doula trainer, I have seen thousands of different scenarios where, you know, she might love her doctor and feel super safe with her doctor, but she gets to the hospital and guess what? It’s the person on call and she’s never even met them. Right, and now we have a hurdle to get over. And does she feel strong enough and confident in her ability enough to not let that affect her? Or is she, or does she not feel that way? Right, and in the moment, you’re just trying to hang on for dear life. You’re just having labor. You’re just trying to get through it, right? And so all these other psychological factors are really tough to have to. Nick McGowan (45:50.678)Peace. Anne Wallen (45:54.488)navigate, that’s why you’ve got to prepare ahead of time and really have somebody there, whether it’s your partner who’s very well versed and really, you know, knows what you want and is willing to stand up for you, or a doula, or you’re home with your midwife, you know, whatever your scenario, but it’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but it’s also not for someone who is just kinda coming at it willy nilly like, yeah, I got pregnant, yeah, I’m gonna have a baby, and yeah, we’re gonna do this thing called parenting. I mean, you can do it that way, but you’re gonna be on autopilot the whole time. Your reactions to things are not gonna be intentional and worked through the way that they should be for the betterment of your baby, right? Nick McGowan (46:32.246)Hmm. Nick McGowan (46:41.731)yeah. Anne Wallen (46:44.803)The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start, right? Nick McGowan (46:50.324)Yeah, what a good way to put that. And especially all of this ties in to so many different pieces, but it’s all similar. Like you go into some big situation, you have to be prepared, but you also need to understand about yourself. And there are people I’m sure that try their best to be as prepared as they can be. Again, I’ve had a few friends that are like, I’ve read every fucking book I could. I talked to everybody I could. Anne Wallen (46:58.522)Mm. Anne Wallen (47:14.777)Yeah. Nick McGowan (47:16.278)And I still expect to screw this kid up in some sort of way, because I’m going to say something weird or whatever. it’s like totally, like you’re just going to do what you’re going to do and your kid’s going to go how they’re going to go. But that’s the sort of like anti-matter in the middle of it. That’s like, well, all that stuff is just going to happen. But as long as you’re best prepared, you’re going to do what you can. Those people that are kind of wandering around that are like, well, we had a baby and like, I still don’t know my stuff or what’s going on. That. Anne Wallen (47:36.558)Yeah! Nick McGowan (47:45.714)level of self-awareness takes many, many, many blocks to get through to be able to get to that point. So the whole purpose of this show is to be able to help people on their path towards self-mastery and really figuring themselves out and living the best life that they can. So for the people that are on that path towards self-mastery, wanting to have a kid or have a kid or are still kind of reeling through the stuff that they’ve been through as a kid, how… What’s your advice for somebody that’s on their path towards self mastery that’s kind of going throughout all that? Anne Wallen (48:19.747)So the number one thing that you can do is to just nurture yourself, right? Nurturing and making it okay to get things wrong. Having self-forgiveness, having self-grace. Because as you go through these blocks, I could tell you just from my own personal experience that going through different, you know, looking at what has happened to me and saying, okay, this event, and I’m gonna sit with how this event makes me feel. until I can take away the power from it. And some people use counseling for that, some people use EMDR. I found EMDR super helpful. I think too, know, alongside having self-grace and having self-forgiveness, being with other people who are healthy psychologically is really important. If you are in a situation or a relationship that is kind of keeping you in I don’t want to say in abuse because maybe the relationship isn’t abusive, but maybe in a situation where you are constantly triggered or you are continually kind of repeating bad habits, right? And you’re recognizing that, but then you’re in this situation where they’re just triggering you and triggering you and triggering you. You got to get away from it to be able to heal it. It’s so tough. to be able to heal something while you’re in the midst of reaction. And honestly, you know, we talked about the word narcissism and the word trauma and things like that. One of the most powerful ways that I feel like people can heal from stuff and actually keep digging into their past and finding the next thing, right? Like, okay, well, I healed from this and now what? What’s the next thing? Nick McGowan (50:17.15)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (50:17.325)You’re subconscious, two things. One, I really believe that your subconscious will always answer you. And before you even finish the sentence, right, you know the answer. That’s your intuition, you can trust it. Right, so being able to say, what’s the thing that is really holding me back right now? You know it, your subconscious just told you what it was, right? And then going through that, working on that, focusing on that. The other thing is, is that for people, A really powerful tool for us to get understanding about something is labeling. So when you are, let’s say narcissism, when you are looking at narcissism, you can say, hey, here’s a behavior. This makes me feel uncomfortable. What is this? Why does this make me feel uncomfortable? it’s gaslighting. I’ve got a word for that. Nick McGowan (50:52.861)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (51:08.148)hehe Anne Wallen (51:09.977)Right? I’ve got a word for the bandwagoning technique. I’ve got a word for flying monkeys. I’ve got a word for all these different things. Right? And so being able to look at your shit and having a label for the different things that you’re experiencing, having a label for the different reactions that you might be having. Number one, it helps you to understand it. It helps you have a little more power over those things rather than it having power over you. But then also, you know, we can Google it. If you have a word that you’re like, my goodness, you know, this thing is really just triggering me. Why does it trigger me? Okay, comes, I can see that it’s stemming back from this thing that happened to me. And like I said, just ask yourself the questions. Just keep asking yourself the questions. And when your subconscious tells you this is what it was, then you can look it up, right? One of the reasons why I learned about narcissism is because I was Googling, why doesn’t my husband like me? How sad is that that you got to ask that question? But I soon found out that it’s one of the list of things in the narcissistic playbook. And so then you start to realize, this behavior happened at this point in my life and at that point in my life and at that point in my life. And because you have a label for it, you can start to identify the root cause. And that’s where you can kind of start taking your power back. Nick McGowan (52:35.719)Yeah. Anne Wallen (52:38.456)and you can rework the programming that’s going on in your head. And so then you’re no longer a robot, just on autopilot. You can have a moment, you could take a moment to pause and say, I’m not gonna respond like that anymore. I’m gonna, I look, I see it for what it is now. And I’m not gonna let that do this thing to me. And I’m not gonna let that do that thing to my child, because I’m not gonna respond the same way anymore. Nick McGowan (52:54.547)Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (53:08.132)And I’ll tell you what, every kid, I really believe this, every child is born to bring the balance. So like if you have, and I apologize for all the noise in the background, I am in New York City. I don’t know if you hear the sirens. They’re about to come right in front of my building, I could tell. All right, they’re gone. Okay, so. Nick McGowan (53:08.231)Yeah. Nick McGowan (53:30.483)Alright. Anne Wallen (53:35.074)give them a second. So when you have, you know, these, this labeling and when you have this balance that the child is bringing into the family, you know, you, you might say, that kid’s a, that’s a wild child or whatever. A wild child compared to what? Maybe you have very placid parents, right? And then the child’s just bringing the balance. They bring in the party. Or you have parents who are, you know, maybe really Nick McGowan (53:35.155)They’re good. Nick McGowan (54:00.989)you Anne Wallen (54:05.061)just super extroverted and then you get this little introverted child because they’re bringing the balance or you have two kids, right? I’ve had my two boys, they’re kind of like in the early middle of the six of them and I had one that was like large muscle. You tell him to dig a hole, he’s gonna be like, how deep and how big and tell me where to go and I’m on it, right? And then you got the next kid. who was very small motor skills, very artistic, you know, just like super minute focus, right? And you tell him to dig a hole and he’d be like, I don’t know how to dig a hole, right? So like they’re opposites, but this is what happens in family structures. It’s like the kid comes in and they fill the gap of what’s missing. This can get tricky if you have stuff that you haven’t worked on in the past, because guess what? Nick McGowan (54:48.443)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (55:02.852)Kids also bring the triggers. So for example, my nine-year-old, love her to pieces, she’s really different from me. It’s a challenge sometimes to be her parent because I don’t know what to do with her half the time because she’s just so different from me. And so that in itself is a little bit of a trigger. And so as a parent, when you are trying to learn, because a lot of times we think, oh, we’re here to Nick McGowan (55:18.096)Hmm. Nick McGowan (55:24.272)Yeah. Anne Wallen (55:32.696)you know, mold and shape this person. But I want to challenge that perception. I think we’re really here to figure out who this person is and help them to be the best of whoever it is that they’re supposed to be. And we’re not really supposed to be directing that all that much at all. Right. And so that also can be really tricky if you don’t know who you are. Right. If you’re if your stuff Nick McGowan (55:57.893)Yeah. Anne Wallen (56:01.496)goes into identifying as, I worthy? Should I speak up? Do I have to fight for stuff? All the different things that go on as a child inside of you, your child, it’s gonna be mirrored back to you. And if you haven’t figured those things out, if you didn’t figure them out as a child, how are you gonna have answers for your kid when they’re going through the same thing? So. getting into and really just there’s actually a book for if you’re pregnant now or if you’re looking at getting pregnant, there’s a book called birthing from within. It’s kind of a whole system. I really like it because it kind of digs into the psychological aspect of, you know, this labyrinth of how were you created mentally, emotionally, and then how are you going to walk or step into parenthood, you know, as a person who can be there for your kid in all these different ways that you’re gonna have, it’s gonna be demanded upon you whether or not you have the skills to meet the needs or not, right? Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:05.967)Yeah, whether you like it or not. man, there’s so much to that. And again, I’m not going to have kids ever. I’m no longer equipped to. And I can think about how these things relate to us as people without kids because we were kids at one point and this ties back. Even the two kids that you have that you talked about, you literally just described my brother and myself. And my dad was like, Anne Wallen (57:25.112)Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:34.359)I understand the one who can dig the holes. I don’t understand why you’re building things and you’re painting. What the hell is this about? I’m gonna stick with the one over here because that makes sense and parents can go to that. They can look at that and they can do those things. But I really appreciate that you’re challenging people to understand the most about themselves and where their things have come from so that they don’t really bring them into anything further unless they go, hey, I learned this before cause I went through some shit. Anne Wallen (57:56.334)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (58:03.077)Here’s how you go about it a little differently, but you do you kid and I’m here to support you. I think that’s a crucial thing that you really pointed out and I appreciate you pointing that out. This has been awesome to have you on today and I appreciate you being with us. Before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:08.109)Yeah. Nick McGowan (58:27.194)Did I totally cut out there? Awesome. So I’d asked where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:36.484)Well, I am like I said the director of maternity wise you can find me there. That’s easy maternity wise calm just like that And you can also find me. I’m a contributor to brains magazine So I have several articles published there and if you want to find me on LinkedIn, I’m Anne Wallen. So hey Nick McGowan (58:58.896)Again, Ann, it’s been great having you on today. I appreciate your time. Anne Wallen (59:01.988)Thank you.
BEAUTY BEYOND BETRAYAL - Heal from Betrayal, Affair Recovery, Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Why does betrayal trauma affect your brain so deeply? In today's episode, we break down what trauma brain actually is, why it happens after infidelity, and how the neurological impact of betrayal can leave you feeling foggy, anxious, overwhelmed, and unlike yourself. You'll learn the science behind your symptoms, the biblical truth that speaks into your healing, and three evidence-based ways to begin rewiring your brain—starting today. We'll explore how betrayal disrupts the amygdala, prefrontal cortex, and nervous system, why intrusive thoughts and hypervigilance are completely normal, and how God designed your brain with the capacity to heal. Using neuroscience research from experts like Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Jennifer Freyd, and Dr. Daniel Siegel, you'll finally understand why your brain is doing what it's doing—and how you can take your power back. If you're tired of feeling stuck, confused, or “not yourself,” this episode will help you make sense of it all and give you a clear, faith-centered path forward. ✨ Enrollment Now Open: Roadmap to Recovery (Begins January 12, 2026!) If you're ready to heal your brain, your heart, and your identity after betrayal, now is the time to join Roadmap to Recovery—my Christ-centered, neuroscience-informed 6-month program for betrayed Christian women. Spots are extremely limited and registration is officially open. Don't wait—your healing begins the moment you say yes. Learn more & enroll → ROADMAP TO RECOVERY :: NEXT STEPS: ROADMAP TO RECOVERY GROUP COACHING FOR WOMEN - NEXT ROUND LAUNCHES JANUARY 12, 2026! MARRIAGE REDESIGNED PROGRAM Schedule your MARRIAGE REDESIGNED FREE CONSULT Join our Beauty Beyond Betrayal Sisterhood: Healing from an affair: Heartbreak Recovery for Christian Women Grab your Free Ebook: Broken Vows: Begin healing from the devastation of betrayal Email: info@lisalimehouse.com WEBSITE: www.lisalimehouse.com Got a question you want answered? ASK HERE
In today's episode, Gina discusses fatigue and exhaustion and how these factors affect our mental stability and anxiety. Our bodies can only take so much stress and punishment. It is very important to rest and to care for ourselves as best as we can. Listen in for tips on how to improve the quality of your rest and discover new pathways to rejuvenation today!Please visit our Sponsor Page to find all the links and codes for our awesome sponsors!https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/sponsors/ Thank you for supporting The Anxiety Coaches Podcast. FREE MUST-HAVE RESOURCE FOR Calming Your Anxious Mind10-Minute Body-Scan Meditation for Anxiety Anxiety Coaches Podcast Group Coaching linkACPGroupCoaching.comTo learn more, go to:Website https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.comJoin our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership ProgramLearn more about our One-on-One Coaching What is anxiety? Find even more peace and calm with our Supercast premium access membership:For $5 a month, all episodes are ad-free! https://anxietycoaches.supercast.com/Here's what's included for $5/month:❤ New Ad-Free episodes every Sunday and Wednesday❤ Access to the entire Ad-free back-catalog with over 600 episodes❤ Premium meditations recorded with you in mind❤ And more fun surprises along the way!All this in your favorite podcast app!Quote:The body keeps the score.-Bessel van der KolkChapters0:26 Introduction to Fatigue2:09 Understanding Anxiety's Exhaustion6:58 High-Functioning Anxiety Explained8:32 The Cycle of Fatigue and Anxiety10:26 Reclaiming Energy with Permission13:29 Restorative Practices for Healing15:54 Nourishing Your Body for Support17:02 Embracing Fatigue with CompassionSummaryIn this episode of the Anxiety Coaches Podcast, I dive into a pervasive issue that many who live with anxiety face but often do not discuss—fatigue. I explore the deep, confusing exhaustion that too many equate with weakness or failure, while in reality, it is a significant indicator of chronic stress and anxiety. Together, we seek to illuminate the underlying reasons for this fatigue, helping listeners understand what their bodies are trying to communicate.I start by describing the kind of fatigue that seeps into so many aspects of life—waking up tired, struggling through the day, and ending it perplexed about why it feels as if I've aged overnight. This deeply rooted fatigue often becomes a shadow in our lives, but the truth is, if you've ever thought "Why am I this tired?" you are certainly not alone. The conversation aims to unpack the links between anxiety, stress, and fatigue, shedding light on what can often feel like an insurmountable burden.As I delve deeper into the connection between anxiety and fatigue, I explain how the body, when in a state of perceived danger, prioritizes survival over restoration. The chronic activation of the stress response leads to a range of physiological problems—from heightened heart rates to tense muscles, and shallow breathing. This ongoing strain is exhausting and can be likened to running a marathon in the background of our daily lives without ever finding a moment to rest.#anxietyrelief #chronicfatigue #burnout #highfunctioninganxiety #stressmanagement #nervoussystemregulation #somatichealing #mentalhealthmatters #adrenalfatigue #cortisol #restorative #selfcare #mindfulness #anxietyrecovery #bodykeepsthescore #emotionalhealth #holisticwellness #perfectionism #slowliving #turtlespeed #anxietycoachespodcast #ginaryan #mentalhealthsupport #brainfog #exhaustion #wellnessjourney #ACPSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
What if the burnout, overwhelm, and self-sacrifice so many women carry isn't personal failure, but evidence of a system that was never designed for them? Josh Trent welcomes Dr. Melissa Sonners, Women's Mind-Body Alignment Expert, to the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 783, to reveal why women aren't meant to live in the constant grind, why true feminine power lives in being instead of doing, and how self-care, intuition, and cyclical alignment can rebuild a woman's health from the inside out.
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